Offloading ...

[zanacal]

I hope that's ok!

I'm beginning to feel a bit silly for even attempting to conceive a girl and I'm only 5 weeks *sigh*. I feel like we did all we could based on the best information I could find (and even that we did too much because when you read my sway it sounds like one of those 'too perfect' sways executed with precision by a testosterone fuelled boy mum!) but honestly - my DH released more than should be possible for a 37 year old and I lost all that weight and put all that stuff up my whatsit and we still got pregnant first attempt with one BD. I'm not complaining about that because I know how blessed we are (I can't emphasise that enough, we are so lucky and health is honestly my top priority now we have a real bean in there!) but from a lower fertility = girl perspective it doesn't look too hopeful and, as I said, it feels foolish even to have thought that any of those things would work for ME.

I'm excited at the prospect of another baby boy. My sons are adorable and they would be so thrilled with another brother - and of course he'd fit in perfectly. I'm very good at avoiding thinking about things which I don't want to think about, but when I stop and try to come to terms with not ever having a daughter it takes my breath away.

There really isn't any point to this post - no questions needing answers or anything - I'm just offloading. Thank you for somewhere to do it :D

[TTC5]

I think that feeling is so normal! I sometimes think to myself *who am I kidding?! I can't be as lucky as everyone else* but then quickly try to stay positive and tell myself that I too have just as much CHANCE at having a boy as everyone else more so now because I am swaying the odds as best as I can.

I am sending you lots and lots of pink dust!!!!!

[melissalynay]

I have the same thing....some days I wonder what am I doing I couldn't possibly have a girl, then there are other days I am super positive. wishing you the best and hoping you hear pink soon.

[Flava]

Z- I think exactly the same!!! Especially after the last sway because I did think like this and yes it did not worked for me.
hmmm really wth Im doing again??

[nuthinbutpink]

Well, it can work, it does work. I hope it works out for you. We will all be here to cheer you on!

[swish]

Z, I know you don't want answers but..
Firstly, I think it's really normal to feel anxious after the initial adrenalin rush of the bfp
Secondly, you could have still lowered fertility enough but been lucky enough to catch the egg. My sis conceived her girl after after two boys on a one off attempt first time ttc, it does happen! Xxx
Sending you hugs, x

[begonia]

Hugs Zan!! Fwiw, I was positively hopeless and kind of sad about my bfp at first bc I was SURE it would be girl number 3 for us. But I can honestly say it got sooooo much better as weeks went by, I really think some of it comes from all the hormones! Not saying your feelings aren't real, just saying I hope it get better soon.

Also... I got pg with both my girls (and this one) first shot. One of them was while I was on bcps. And I know 3pnb has also been a highly fertile (1st month try) girl momma with hers too. I would not sweat the first month bfp for even a minute. Very fertile women/men DO make girls!!

Anyhow, ending with more hugs. It's a hard spot but thank goodness this is a place where we can find empathy.

[Indira]

Secondly, you could have still lowered fertility enough but been lucky enough to catch the egg.
this ! At your first attempt you´ve found the right balance at lowering fertility but not too much.
Like you´ve said, with your weight loss and your husbands admirable frequent release..this def. should be a pink bean!

[zanacal]

Thank you everybody. I also feel guilty for even wanting a girl because it feels like I'm saying I don't want the boy who is potentially growing inside me at the moment - I know, I know it's silly!

[shouldihope?]

I totally have been feeling the same way. After having some spotting last night I am feeling like I don't care as much anymore I just want a healthy baby. I sure do feel guilty about it too. I think what we are feeling is normal after this many of the same gender in a row it is hard not to have so much emotion and thought surrounding our baby to be. I saw an acquantance at the park the other day she just had a baby girl after 2 boys and some losses. She said so you thought would go for 4 boys. My husband thinks I am just being sensitive. Maybe I am but I don' ht think so. Hope we have a happy healthy 9 months ahead.

[zanacal]

Maybe she was going out of her way not to ask if you wanted a girl - because that's the assumption most people make and she didn't want to offend you or your boys! {hugs} to you too.

[Mochagirl]

I'm sort of in the same place as you right now, Z. I'm feel like I had a crappy sway this month (and this really ticks me off because I worked SO hard to follow the diet then messed it up after 4 months right when it counted most) and think there's no way I conceived a girl. I remember being so easy breezy with ds3 because I always knew in the back of my head that I could have one more try to get a girl, but this is IT for me and now I'm already trying to visualise life with 4 boys to prepare myself. I love all my boys to bits and will love another just as much...but I'm not looking forward to that initial hurt if/when I hear boy in the ultrasound.

[zanacal]

{hugs} mocha. I think so long as I keep that vision of 4 boys firmly in mind I'll be ok - it would be so much fun (especially for them!) and I do get excited thinking about a teeny weeny baby boy :D

If I felt sure that swaying 'worked' and that I must be having a girl because I had a 'good' sway then I would be setting myself up for a fall, but I know that's not how it works and this way my expectations are realistic and if it's a girl (I guess there is a chance!) then that will be a happy surprise I'll deal with when it happens.

I know I can have no regrets of not trying and I'll never regret this child - be it a boy or a girl!

[Mochagirl]

Oh, I know - swaying isn't definite anyway and we should all have a 50% of a girl no matter what...I just wish I could feel like I did my best sway and have no regrets, regardless of whether I get a boy or girl - that's what I kept saying I wanted to do this time around. As it stands, I'm worried I'll always wonder 'what if' since my sway was so crappy.

Oh, and of course I will welcome and love another little boy if that's what fate has in store for me - that's one of the reasons I want to find out the gender - so I can get over any GD before the little guy arrives so I can enjoy him fully.

[zanacal]

I know, it's hard xx

[Emmy2012]

Z I know exactly how you feel! I feel even more crazy casue I swayed girl with my last DS and swore he was a girl (I paid for 4, yes 4 elective ultrasounds cause I thought they must be wrong)! So with being a past swayer that failed....I think I am so crazy for even hoping it can happen for me! I have been reading other boards and the pst fews days just cry when someone finds out it is a girl. It is so hard to want something so bad and hate yourself for wanting something so bad. At least we have each other to vent, offload and talk to. It is a strange comfort to know you are not alone in your craziness.

[zanacal]

It sure is. That must have been so hard for you to have felt so convinced you were having a girl x

[Emmy2012]

It was very hard for me, I wnet through a bad time after I found out Noah was a boy. And then once he was born I had a hard time with the guilt. I felt so guilty for being so unhappy for months that he was a boy. Emothional rollar coaster to say the least. I think if/when I get pregnant again, I am going to go back to the elective place at 12 weeks and get a nub shot (they do this) and get a guess. If it looks girl I am going to find out, if it looks boy I am not going to. That way I at least have a small hope of it being a girl. I honestly don't know which was worse....the devastation of finding out Noah was a boy or the guilt I had once I had this perfect lil baby in my arms that had been so unhappy about. If I am a destined to have another boy I want to find out at birth because then I have him to love not feel bad about.

[zanacal]

That sounds like a great way to decide whether to find out the gender or not. I'm not going to decide until we've had our 12 week scan depending on whether we see a nub or not! I think your feelings were all understandable but I'm sorry you had to go through it.

[mommato5boys]

I completely understand! Sometimes I think I'm being crazy for doing any swaying. I just feel like I'm not meant to have a girl. And then like you, I feel guilty for swaying because it makes it seem like I wouldn't want or love another boys which couldn't be further from the truth! Hand in there! Everything I read says we have just as good a shot at a girl as anyone else! And your extra swaying can only help that. Hugs to you!

[Locksley27]

I understand how you are feeling, I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant with number 4. We werent trying and only had one unprotacted time it could have happened. After having 3 boys I thought the chances werent good that this one would finally be a girl. But she is all girl. I think you have a good chance that this could be your girl.

[zanacal]

Oh wow, congratulations Locksley!

I'm feeling ok, happy to have either a healthy boy or a healthy girl at this point :D

[CapricornAquarius]

Zanacal - :hugs:

Our children are already chosen for us, and whether we have chosen to sway through diet, supps, months, ions etc, etc we will still end up with the gender we were suppose to, I think anyway.

But like so many of us, we just cant let go of the thought that maybe gender swaying really does work, so we keep swaying in the hope that there is truth to it. Does that make sense??

DD1 :ballerina: DD2 :giggle:

[fresas]

Sorry I'm a bit late to this thread.

I think the board has a tremendous amount of very real, honest women on it. You are not a bad person for wanting so badly a certain gender. It goes without saying that you want a healthy baby first and foremost. I applaud your honesty and I hope you, of course, have a healthy, non-stressful pregnancy, but that you also get your girl. If it is a boy, I hope he will fit in and the GD won't be so bad. Fingers crossed!

[KnockYourBallsOff]

I'm late on this too. I echo what the other ladies said, and I can completely agree with all your emotions. We aren't going to TTC for a few months....but I'm already feeling the pressure from myself. Several friends all just found out they are pregnant....so the pressure is on as to who will get what they want. I feel ya!