Destined to mother a certain "gender" ???

[Lissastick]

Does anyone think that? And I don't mean the feeling that we get when we feel like we are out of control, because obviously there are things we can do to sway...

I'm talking about the feeling that no matter what we actually want - that the Universe has plans for us that don't match up sometimes! I feel like what tends to be right for me in my life are the things that come easy.
Conceiving my son came SO easy. In every single way. My lifestyle, I've come to find is extremely boy friendly. So is my husband's! And my son was conceived with 2 easy cycles!
I also have a strange statistic looming in the background with my family...

My husband is a scientist (an astro-physicist) and these men are more likely to have lots of...BOYS! His colleague, in his field and has THREE BOYS! I realize that the mother has some influence, but that's kind of my point. I naturally have a boy friendly way of eating and living. Eating often, taking supplements (I feel SO much better when I do!), strength training (I have a bad back and building muscle, especially in my core is totally necessary) and the fact that I am a recovering anorexic / bulimic has all pushed me toward a naturally comfortable boy friendly lifestyle. I have become a vegetarian since conceiving my son, which I know favors girls, but, I think even with that, I will never conceive a girl - unless it's with the fluke 20 something ( or less?) % chance that happens when you get opposite of what you try to sway.

I am starting to think that because living a boy lifestyle is so healthy and comfortable for me - I shouldn't fight it!!! I should take it as a sign from the Universe that I am a prime housing unit for a little boy! Hahah!

I won't lie and say that I don't deeply desire to have a daughter...because I do...
Maybe I am just saying that I don't really know what is BEST for me. That maybe only something larger knows what I truly need.

Anyone else feel this way?!!?!?

[Beau82]

I do and I don't. I definitely felt that way after I found out my fourth was a boy. I was sure that I just wasn't meant to have girl and that I'm just supposed to raise boys. However, after finding this site I don't feel that way anymore. There is just a lot of science to it. Now there is of course, a certain amount of luck involved for sure. What else could account for all of the pigeon pairs you see around?
Maybe if I do get pregnant with a fifth and find out that it is a fifth boy for me, even after swaying, I may feel more like this. That it's just the universe's way of telling me that I'm just too good at being a boy mom, lol.

Only you know what's best for you. If the girl-friendly lifestyle and LE diet is too much and feels too foreign for you, then maybe you should drop it. Like I said, there is always an element of luck. Reading the sways here will tell you that. There are plenty of women with seemingly perfect sways and they still get an opposite. Swaying is not an exact science obviously. And just b/c you have one boy does not mean you are more set for boys. It's totally possible that simply having a boy first has you set up to have a girl next. Do what you feel is right in your heart of hearts.

Not sure if that completely answers your question but it's what came out when I started typing so there you go :) lol

[Erin514]

Yes, I feel this way sometimes. I always thought I was "meant" to be a girl mom. I pictured myself with a house full of girls like I grew up with. But then, two little boys later, I've kind of accepted that even one daughter might never happen for me.

Now that I know more about swaying, I see how boy friendly my lifestyle was, and even though I've made a lot of changes they really don't feel natural to me at all. I feel like my instincts are so strongly geared towards boy friendly habits (hobbit-style snacking, work-out preferences, competitive nature), I don't really know how successful my sway can be in overcoming that. I'm kind of okay with it, if the universe gives me a third boy I'll accept it, but I'm still hoping swaying will work. At least I can try! And you know, you can only do as much as you're comfortable with. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. ;)

[XXforhubby]

I always assumed I would have girls or a mixed gendered family. In part, because I fear(ed) having a girl. I don't have a good relationship with my mom. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic and a narcissist. Needless to say, I did not have a great childhood.

I led a classic girl lifestyle my whole life. It wasn't until I met and married my husband that all of my habits changed. I'm now back to how I used to be, and hopefully the weight loss will continue.

I do think that my personality lends itself to boys. Although, for some reason, little girls always gravitate to me.

I hope that if I am fortunate enough to get pregnant again, that I am able to give my husband a girl. But then again, we make beautiful boys who are a true delight to behold [emoji4]. Another one will be welcome, for sure!!




[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2 [emoji602], & DS3 [emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[fknonl1ne]

I lead a mostly boy life, wanted only boys, currently have two girls.

[Complex Emotions]

Great post Lissastick! I think about this frequently.

I used to feel fated to a life of loneliness. During my twenties I struggled with intimacy and dating so I thought I'd never get to have a baby no matter what I did. My intuition seemed iron-clad but now I know it was totally wrong. Once I finally met the right guy everything came together beautifully and we got pregnant soon after getting married.

Currently I'm most at peace with a belief that both genders are possible for everyone and there's just no way to truly understand your individual odds. Whatever happens is just part of an insanely complex orchestra of biology and chance. You might be able to influence it to some degree, but there's no way to control it. (High Tech is a different animal, one that after careful reflection I'm choosing not to pursue.)

I've been swaying for girl for over seven months. I'd hoped to be pregnant by now. It hasn't been easy, but I hope that at least knowing I did what I could will help me accept our family as complete even if we never do have a daughter.

I'm not sure, but I'd like to think I'm opening my heart more and more to the possibility of a second boy. That said, tonight I'm feeling tender. I follow celebrity baby gossip more than I should and I just found out that Alanis Morrisette had a baby girl. I'm happy for her and I loved her music when I was young. It's just that I'd gotten comfortable thinking of her as a fellow boy mom. Now she appears to have the family I've so deeply wanted and still hope to have. I don't feel jealously per se, but I'm tender hearted about it.

[Throwaway_panther]

I feel this way mostly because of coming from an all girl family where I was heavily abused for it and being surrounded by immigrant family and in-laws who value boys so strongly (and I want boys desperately).

Ultimately I know there's no greater force swaying for me, but it's still scary to think about swaying and failing. If it helps you, we have virtually identical backgrounds and I got a girl -- I just relapsed into my ED before conception :/

I do feel I'm a poster child for a boy mom getting a girl though, so take hope from that too. My personality, competitiveness, DTD pattern and heavy weight lifting all point boy -- but I also did tons of cardio and ate pretty much nothing on top of alcohol and caffeine ;)

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[atomic sagebrush]

I have a couple of different takes on this.

Firstly is yes, it's nice to embrace the idea that whatever will be will be and that you will accept that and be ok no matter what. That is a good thing. BUT, my other take on this is that I have seen a lot of people take this approach because they don't want to sway (which is totally cool) either because it's uncomfortable or because they're scared of trying and then having it not work out. I think that it is a "mess with your head" reaction in many cases where people think this way, don't sway, and then invariably get an opposite. And again I want to stress that it's fine not to sway and it's fine to have acceptance of another boy (I was thrilled to my core when my 2nd son was born, I know it's absolutely possible to be very happy with 2 boys!) But I want everyone to be really, truly, totally sure that it is an informed decision they are making and not because swaying is messing with their heads.

It isn't just swaying that does this. Anything that causes a feeling of discomfort can make a person stop pursuing things that matter a lot to them. I really want to lose weight and get into shape like I was before I had my last 3 kids, but I still find that I make excuses to not do those things. I will often justify it and think "well I need this nutrition to build muscle" or whatever but it's because in the moment I just don't want the discomfort, yk??

Re astrophysicists - what you need to understand is that the mother is still important to the equation. I know you mentioned that but it was kind of dismissively. But men who are astrophysicists tend to marry driven women who are probably highly educated themselves (women who are highly educated have more boys and this has been demonstrated in studies) and are careful about their overall health and what they put into their bodies prior to pregnancy. So it may not necessarily be a situation where you tell yourself "well, my husband just HAS to make boys because, science" when in reality it is still within your control to some extent.

[Beau82]

Haha, I just came across a study stating that engineers tend to have more sons. Guess what my husband is?? Ugh, did not need to read that. Although, in thinking about a lot of the men my husband works with, I would say it's pretty equal in the children they all have. Quite a few don't have any children but there are a lot that have daughters as well as sons. So that makes me feel better.

[Throwaway_panther]

Haha, I just came across a study stating that engineers tend to have more sons. Guess what my husband is?? Ugh, did not need to read that. Although, in thinking about a lot of the men my husband works with, I would say it's pretty equal in the children they all have. Quite a few don't have any children but there are a lot that have daughters as well as sons. So that makes me feel better.
My husband is an ME! We have a daughter! ;P

Though you guys are giving me more hope for a boy!

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[fknonl1ne]

My husband is an ME! We have a daughter! ;P

Though you guys are giving me more hope for a boy!

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I am a Bsc. & Msc. in EE plus Gym semi-addict (muscle mass above average for men). I am feeling hopeful too in the blue crew[emoji170] [emoji170]

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't know if my maternal condition just naturally favors boy or if all the supplements and foods I ate to boost what I was afraid was declining fertility (age related) made my body more "boy friendly."

I do feel like I need certain supplements to help with depression and they all sway boy.

Swaying is like an iceberg, the stuff we see is just this tiny bit peeping up above the surface and then there is this huge thing under the water that is doing most of the "damage". So try not to get too overly focused on this one thing or that other one because none of us ever know anyway and it never comes down to one thing anyway.

Many of us who have boys myself included do exactly that though. We get so paranoid about getting pregnant that we do everything in our power to boost fertility thru the stratosphere. I have often wondered what would ahve happened with DS 3/4 if I had not done that and just TTC when I was ready.

[Beau82]

My husband is an ME! We have a daughter! ;P

Though you guys are giving me more hope for a boy!

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Marine engineer? Mine too! You would think that the heat in the engine room would have decreased his sperm count but I guess not! Haha

[ksmom]

My husband was in the Navy for several years and everyone always said sailors have more girls. lol We have two boys (possibly 3) and two other Navy couples we're friends with have three boys each. Obviously the mother's condition plays a role too. Even though DH is a nuclear chemist, he still has a very high sperm count. The RE even had him do an advanced SA and it came back perfect!

[Throwaway_panther]

Marine engineer? Mine too! You would think that the heat in the engine room would have decreased his sperm count but I guess not! Haha
Oops, mechanical engineer, haha. He's in automotive.

Crap though, he was also a nuclear engineer in the Navy for 6 years :( (though I know many of his sailor buddies have pigeon pairs)

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[ABC.2606]

Oh man, well if you're like me, the emotions around this are all so complex! I went through serious GD when I found out my 2nd was a boy. I cried and cried and cried... And cried. Now that he's a year old... I can't tell you what I would do without that kid. He's my little blue-eyed, blonde, dimpled, happy as can be piece of perfection:) Now, when I think about how if things had just gone differently and we'd had a girl, or if I had swayed for a girl and we got one, it actually makes me want to cry because then I would not have this boy!! Seriously.

Yet I still desperately want a girl. I've always wanted a girl. I have been lucky to have a very close relationship with my mom and I so want that with a girl of my own. So I'm going to put all I can into swaying. But I do have those moments where I'm like... but, but, but, what if there is this perfect little third son that I am meant to have and I am taking him away by swaying for a girl? Or I think, well, if I sway hard for a girl and it ends up being a boy, well, then I will KNOW that that boy "overcame the odds" I stacked against him and he is meant to be my son. Yea, I'm WAY overthinking it I know. But again, these are our children, and overthinking/feeling things in motherhood is just part of the territory :)

From the posts of yours I've read I can tell you are a great mother! Either way you go, I know you will not regret the child you have. I don't think my longing for a girl will ever go away if I never get her. And if we do get pregnant with a girl, I'm quite sure I will have a lot of moments of "what the HECK do I do with a girl?!!! I'm a boy mom!" Either way, I will have the perfect children for me!

Maybe I got too sappy there, but I'm in a sappy mood tonight as my two boys were basically perfect angels today (which trust me does NOT always happen!!), and I'm feeling especially grateful for them tonight. And I read a mommy blog tonight about her son growing up to be a man and it had me in tears!! Being a mom of a boy IS a really amazing thing!

[All*blue*everything]

Oh man, well if you're like me, the emotions around this are all so complex! I went through serious GD when I found out my 2nd was a boy. I cried and cried and cried... And cried. Now that he's a year old... I can't tell you what I would do without that kid. He's my little blue-eyed, blonde, dimpled, happy as can be piece of perfection:) Now, when I think about how if things had just gone differently and we'd had a girl, or if I had swayed for a girl and we got one, it actually makes me want to cry because then I would not have this boy!! Seriously.

Yet I still desperately want a girl. I've always wanted a girl. I have been lucky to have a very close relationship with my mom and I so want that with a girl of my own. So I'm going to put all I can into swaying. But I do have those moments where I'm like... but, but, but, what if there is this perfect little third son that I am meant to have and I am taking him away by swaying for a girl? Or I think, well, if I sway hard for a girl and it ends up being a boy, well, then I will KNOW that that boy "overcame the odds" I stacked against him and he is meant to be my son. Yea, I'm WAY overthinking it I know. But again, these are our children, and overthinking/feeling things in motherhood is just part of the territory :)

From the posts of yours I've read I can tell you are a great mother! Either way you go, I know you will not regret the child you have. I don't think my longing for a girl will ever go away if I never get her. And if we do get pregnant with a girl, I'm quite sure I will have a lot of moments of "what the HECK do I do with a girl?!!! I'm a boy mom!" Either way, I will have the perfect children for me!

Maybe I got too sappy there, but I'm in a sappy mood tonight as my two boys were basically perfect angels today (which trust me does NOT always happen!!), and I'm feeling especially grateful for them tonight. And I read a mommy blog tonight about her son growing up to be a man and it had me in tears!! Being a mom of a boy IS a really amazing thing!

I love your reply!
I feel the same I have looked into swaying b4 but then I felt I should just leave it to fate...i would like a girl but I'm also worried how I would feel, would it change how I feel about my boys etc..
what would it be like for a girl to come into a house with 4 big brothers?!
I'm sure these are the same silly worries most people have when they are expecting their second and wonder how they could possibly love another child as much as their first. But we all know it's possible to love any number of children the same...ive even looked I to adoption wo seeing if I had boys on purpose and I was destined to adopt a girl.. X

[ksmom]

Oops, mechanical engineer, haha. He's in automotive.

Crap though, he was also a nuclear engineer in the Navy for 6 years :( (though I know many of his sailor buddies have pigeon pairs)

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Don't despair! Mine was also a Navy nuke and we still got DS1. :) He still works with chemicals and with a nuclear reactor in the civilian world, sometimes even having to work in the heat but we still had DS2. Your lifestyle/condition plays a role too so remember that. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

I love your reply!
I feel the same I have looked into swaying b4 but then I felt I should just leave it to fate...i would like a girl but I'm also worried how I would feel, would it change how I feel about my boys etc..
what would it be like for a girl to come into a house with 4 big brothers?!
I'm sure these are the same silly worries most people have when they are expecting their second and wonder how they could possibly love another child as much as their first. But we all know it's possible to love any number of children the same...ive even looked I to adoption wo seeing if I had boys on purpose and I was destined to adopt a girl.. X

That was one thing that still got to me sometimes after my daughter arrived was that a couple people who had 4 brothers felt the need to make remarks. Like this one lady (who is totally crazy, for reals actually crazy like mentally ill LOL BTW and I knew that but it still bothered me) was like "I feel sorry for YOU" right into her face!?! and then this other woman at the grocery store said "I had 4 brothers and they roughoused all the time and broke my leg!!" But my boys are very solicitous of my daughter and if anything overprotective of her.

[All*blue*everything]

God u must have bit your tongue with her lol
I get constant comment on 4 boys and I know if I was pregnant I would get people saying " what a shame if it was a boy" and finally u got a girl u can stop having babies now..my worry for a girl is just that the boys are so close that she might feel left out, but I also get that worry thinking of u wait a couple more years and have another boy then he will also be left out on age terms...like you've said before there is no perfect scenario and timing for everything..whatever happens it will be wanted and loved and perfected by 4 mini maniacs x

[Lissastick]

I have a couple of different takes on this.

Firstly is yes, it's nice to embrace the idea that whatever will be will be and that you will accept that and be ok no matter what. That is a good thing. BUT, my other take on this is that I have seen a lot of people take this approach because they don't want to sway (which is totally cool) either because it's uncomfortable or because they're scared of trying and then having it not work out. I think that it is a "mess with your head" reaction in many cases where people think this way, don't sway, and then invariably get an opposite. And again I want to stress that it's fine not to sway and it's fine to have acceptance of another boy (I was thrilled to my core when my 2nd son was born, I know it's absolutely possible to be very happy with 2 boys!) But I want everyone to be really, truly, totally sure that it is an informed decision they are making and not because swaying is messing with their heads.

It isn't just swaying that does this. Anything that causes a feeling of discomfort can make a person stop pursuing things that matter a lot to them. I really want to lose weight and get into shape like I was before I had my last 3 kids, but I still find that I make excuses to not do those things. I will often justify it and think "well I need this nutrition to build muscle" or whatever but it's because in the moment I just don't want the discomfort, yk??

Re astrophysicists - what you need to understand is that the mother is still important to the equation. I know you mentioned that but it was kind of dismissively. But men who are astrophysicists tend to marry driven women who are probably highly educated themselves (women who are highly educated have more boys and this has been demonstrated in studies) and are careful about their overall health and what they put into their bodies prior to pregnancy. So it may not necessarily be a situation where you tell yourself "well, my husband just HAS to make boys because, science" when in reality it is still within your control to some extent.
I wasn't being dismissive. Really.
I am the EXACT woman that you described is the type to pair up with physicists. I am not genius level smart like my husband is, but, I'm educated, creative and ambitious. So, that pair makes boys, right? ;)

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[Lissastick]

Oh man, well if you're like me, the emotions around this are all so complex! I went through serious GD when I found out my 2nd was a boy. I cried and cried and cried... And cried. Now that he's a year old... I can't tell you what I would do without that kid. He's my little blue-eyed, blonde, dimpled, happy as can be piece of perfection:) Now, when I think about how if things had just gone differently and we'd had a girl, or if I had swayed for a girl and we got one, it actually makes me want to cry because then I would not have this boy!! Seriously.

Yet I still desperately want a girl. I've always wanted a girl. I have been lucky to have a very close relationship with my mom and I so want that with a girl of my own. So I'm going to put all I can into swaying. But I do have those moments where I'm like... but, but, but, what if there is this perfect little third son that I am meant to have and I am taking him away by swaying for a girl? Or I think, well, if I sway hard for a girl and it ends up being a boy, well, then I will KNOW that that boy "overcame the odds" I stacked against him and he is meant to be my son. Yea, I'm WAY overthinking it I know. But again, these are our children, and overthinking/feeling things in motherhood is just part of the territory :)

From the posts of yours I've read I can tell you are a great mother! Either way you go, I know you will not regret the child you have. I don't think my longing for a girl will ever go away if I never get her. And if we do get pregnant with a girl, I'm quite sure I will have a lot of moments of "what the HECK do I do with a girl?!!! I'm a boy mom!" Either way, I will have the perfect children for me!

Maybe I got too sappy there, but I'm in a sappy mood tonight as my two boys were basically perfect angels today (which trust me does NOT always happen!!), and I'm feeling especially grateful for them tonight. And I read a mommy blog tonight about her son growing up to be a man and it had me in tears!! Being a mom of a boy IS a really amazing thing!
I could have written this! I feel exactly how you feel. This is the way my mind works! You are so sweet, too <3

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[Lissastick]

I mostly just to give up because of impatience and how uncomfortable I feel. Which, I know is not a good reason to give up. I just have to tweak it a lot and start dropping small things. And the only thing about the L.E. diet that I'm having a problem with is keeping my blood sugar low! I am a snacking addict and it's compulsive. I just don't think my sway has any chance of working unless I can overcome that!

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[Throwaway_panther]

I wasn't being dismissive. Really.
I am the EXACT woman that you described is the type to pair up with physicists. I am not genius level smart like my husband is, but, I'm educated, creative and ambitious. So, that pair makes boys, right? ;)

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Not always 😁😉😉

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[Lissastick]

Not always 😁😉😉

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Good to know! 😁

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[Pinklady35]

Swaying is like an iceberg, the stuff we see is just this tiny bit peeping up above the surface and then there is this huge thing under the water that is doing most of the "damage". So try not to get too overly focused on this one thing or that other one because none of us ever know anyway and it never comes down to one thing anyway.

Many of us who have boys myself included do exactly that though. We get so paranoid about getting pregnant that we do everything in our power to boost fertility thru the stratosphere. I have often wondered what would ahve happened with DS 3/4 if I had not done that and just TTC when I was ready.

Do you think that's true? I was paranoid about my declined fertility obsessed with my low ovarian reserve so much so I never really gave swaying a go because I didn't think i would get pregnant. Now I am with a third boy and my husband refuses to contemplate the idea of a fourth.. Thinking can I talk him round or just have a purposeful accident oops . I just don't know what to do anymore

[ABC.2606]

I mostly just to give up because of impatience and how uncomfortable I feel. Which, I know is not a good reason to give up. I just have to tweak it a lot and start dropping small things. And the only thing about the L.E. diet that I'm having a problem with is keeping my blood sugar low! I am a snacking addict and it's compulsive. I just don't think my sway has any chance of working unless I can overcome that!

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I'm a snacking addict too :( I haven't officially started my sway but that one is going to be SO tough. Grrr.... Sometimes I get jealous of the girls on this board who are swaying for boy. It just seems soooooooooooo much easier to me!! (Btw not trying to offend the boy swayers at all, I'm just a naturally "boy friendly lifestyle" mama so this girl sway stuff is TOUGH!!!)

[ksmom]

ABC and Lissa, the not snacking does get easier. It was really hard for me in the beginning because I'm normally the type of person that is always perusing the kitchen or pantry for something to eat. It took a couple of months before I started to adjust and eventually eating only two meals a day was my normal. I went from a "live to eat" to an "eat to live" mentality. Even now at 16 weeks pregnant, I'm still an "eat to live" person. I have to force myself to eat at times because I'm just not a fan of food like I was before swaying!

[XXforhubby]

I totally agree with Ksmom! The snacking and skipping/delaying breakfast gets easier! I used to eat like a hobbit, hahaha! I never really had a large meal because I just grazed throughout the day.

It does take time to get used to it. Start slowly. At first, I just delayed the first meal by an hour until now when I eat 4-5 hours after being awake and doing my cardio even. You may have to have 3 meals instead of 2. I have to have 1700-1900 calories since I'm still breastfeeding a lot, and I simply cannot eat the 800+ calories in one sitting. I have my first meal between 10-1pm. My second meal is dinner with the family around 5-7pm, and I usually have a small third meal before bed to bring up my calories or fat and protein up to the limits for the day.

You'll find what works for you eventually, but I would start slowly pushing the time back when you eat your first meal. Also, going vegetarian makes sticking to the limits of fat and protein so much easier. There are veggie burgers and veggie crumbles that replace red meat and make sticking to the protein limits so much easier than eating a tiny amount of chicken. Coffee, even decaf coffee, is a godsend to reduce your appetite when drank before your first meal or in between meals. It totally reduces your appetite!

Also, we have to be realistic about how long it make take to get a BFP. Us boy moms are so used to being able to get pregnant right away that we forget it can take 3-6 months, which is totally normal! But we think our fertility is shot to hell because of swaying and start to add in blue things unnecessarily, when in reality that is not what we should do. Don't fall into that trap! The LE diet will not and should not harm fertility. As long as you eat healthy foods and eat the appropriate amount of calories. It will take time to catch the perfect egg- just remember to be patient [emoji6].

FX and GL to you!!




[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2 [emoji602], & DS3 [emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[Erin514]

I love your reply!
I feel the same I have looked into swaying b4 but then I felt I should just leave it to fate...i would like a girl but I'm also worried how I would feel, would it change how I feel about my boys etc..
what would it be like for a girl to come into a house with 4 big brothers?!
I'm sure these are the same silly worries most people have when they are expecting their second and wonder how they could possibly love another child as much as their first. But we all know it's possible to love any number of children the same...ive even looked I to adoption wo seeing if I had boys on purpose and I was destined to adopt a girl.. X

ABC2606 and all*blue*everything, I love both your replies! I really feel this way too, like as much as I want a girl, if I give swaying a good shot and get a third boy there's really a part of me that will feel like he was really meant to be since he overcame the odds. Plus, I often read heartbreaking news stories about kids who are failed by the foster care system and I think, there are so many kids out there who need a good home and no one wants to adopt because they aren't infants any more. I could see myself fostering to adopt one day, and who knows, maybe that's how I'll end up getting a daughter.

[Lissastick]

I totally agree with Ksmom! The snacking and skipping/delaying breakfast gets easier! I used to eat like a hobbit, hahaha! I never really had a large meal because I just grazed throughout the day.

It does take time to get used to it. Start slowly. At first, I just delayed the first meal by an hour until now when I eat 4-5 hours after being awake and doing my cardio even. You may have to have 3 meals instead of 2. I have to have 1700-1900 calories since I'm still breastfeeding a lot, and I simply cannot eat the 800+ calories in one sitting. I have my first meal between 10-1pm. My second meal is dinner with the family around 5-7pm, and I usually have a small third meal before bed to bring up my calories or fat and protein up to the limits for the day.

You'll find what works for you eventually, but I would start slowly pushing the time back when you eat your first meal. Also, going vegetarian makes sticking to the limits of fat and protein so much easier. There are veggie burgers and veggie crumbles that replace red meat and make sticking to the protein limits so much easier than eating a tiny amount of chicken. Coffee, even decaf coffee, is a godsend to reduce your appetite when drank before your first meal or in between meals. It totally reduces your appetite!

Also, we have to be realistic about how long it make take to get a BFP. Us boy moms are so used to being able to get pregnant right away that we forget it can take 3-6 months, which is totally normal! But we think our fertility is shot to hell because of swaying and start to add in blue things unnecessarily, when in reality that is not what we should do. Don't fall into that trap! The LE diet will not and should not harm fertility. As long as you eat healthy foods and eat the appropriate amount of calories. It will take time to catch the perfect egg- just remember to be patient [emoji6].

FX and GL to you!!




[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2 [emoji602], & DS3 [emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

I've been a vegetarian for a while now and skipping breakfast is my THING. I did that even when I was TTC my son! But, I was also doing a lot of extra boy friendly things that ramped up my chance of conceiving him, I think...

I feel like even if I said I wasn't following the L.E. diet, I still would be on the count of skipping breakfast almost every day and the fact that I don't eat any kind of meat, not even fish. But, somehow I feel like that's not really enough to contribute to a good sway? I think the low blood sugar levels throughout the day is the most important thing? If so, I've been failing at that consistently because of the snacking...

[Lissastick]

Oh and I am a coffee drinker normally, but only one cup a day. It doesn't affect my appetite at all! LOL

[ABC.2606]

XXforhubby... Do you drink coffee black or do you put creamer or anything in it? I drink coffee in the morning now and it DOES help with my appetite BUT I think that's because I use creamer (and Stevia). I'm guessing I'm going to have to drop that when in full sway mode... But wondering what you (or others that see this post!) do with your coffee?

[Lissastick]

I was drinking it black, but now I use half and half. Either way doesn't reduce my appetite. Hehe. Coffee doesn't even wake me up or make me feel awake. I just love the taste.

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[Throwaway_panther]

XXforhubby... Do you drink coffee black or do you put creamer or anything in it? I drink coffee in the morning now and it DOES help with my appetite BUT I think that's because I use creamer (and Stevia). I'm guessing I'm going to have to drop that when in full sway mode... But wondering what you (or others that see this post!) do with your coffee?
When I got my DD, I did black most days with an occasional day of creamer or almond milk.

I've been a vegetarian for a while now and skipping breakfast is my THING. I did that even when I was TTC my son! But, I was also doing a lot of extra boy friendly things that ramped up my chance of conceiving him, I think...

I feel like even if I said I wasn't following the L.E. diet, I still would be on the count of skipping breakfast almost every day and the fact that I don't eat any kind of meat, not even fish. But, somehow I feel like that's not really enough to contribute to a good sway? I think the low blood sugar levels throughout the day is the most important thing? If so, I've been failing at that consistently because of the snacking...
What were those boy things you did??

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[Lissastick]

Occasional exercise with only strength training, no cardio. Breakfast cereal usually asks snack. Haha. Tons of snacking. Eating red meat and chicken a lot. Lots of supplements. Fish oil. Prenatals. Plus my husband and I did the sperm meets egg plan, which favors boys :)

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[Lissastick]

*As snacks, I meant. Haha!

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[atomic sagebrush]

Do you think that's true? I was paranoid about my declined fertility obsessed with my low ovarian reserve so much so I never really gave swaying a go because I didn't think i would get pregnant. Now I am with a third boy and my husband refuses to contemplate the idea of a fourth.. Thinking can I talk him round or just have a purposeful accident oops . I just don't know what to do anymore

I KNOW that is true!! I swear on a stack of my preferred religious texts that this is true. I have seen it happen 1,234,567,890 times on this site and others.

I came into my 3rd and 4th pregnancies convinced I was probably infertile (at 36-39) and had to do everything in my power to get pregnant and did, and lo and behold, DS 3 and 4. (and it took me precisely the exact same time as it took to conceive my first two boys when I was 20 and 25) I did none of that stuff to get pregnant at 41 and got a girl and it took me only slighlty longer to get her.

We are sold this bill of goods about "the horror of 35" in terms of fertility but it's all a bunch of stuff and nonsense. Most women can still get pregnant quite easily up to 40 and many of us even up to 43 or even beyond. Drop everything you are doing and read this article, it shows the dubious nature of that data and how it's being proved wronger with every year that passes. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/later-moms/52766-older-moms-must-read-article.html?highlight=older+moms+read+article

[atomic sagebrush]

I wasn't being dismissive. Really.
I am the EXACT woman that you described is the type to pair up with physicists. I am not genius level smart like my husband is, but, I'm educated, creative and ambitious. So, that pair makes boys, right? ;)

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NO ONE makes boys or girls all the time. Even under ideal swaying circumstances it seems to be a theoretical 80% max (which makes sense because the human race would have died out a long time ago otherwise) If I got a girl, anyone can.

We have tons of highly educated, analytical, and "ball-busting" LOL girl mamas on here. Diet and lifestyle and maternal condition/fertility matter hugely. WE talk about the personality stuff because that's what we're doing here is trying to unravel these mysteries about how it all works. But you can't take that to the nth degree and then assume you're "doomed" to boys because you're a terrier, girl terriers have to come from somewhere too. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

I mostly just to give up because of impatience and how uncomfortable I feel. Which, I know is not a good reason to give up. I just have to tweak it a lot and start dropping small things. And the only thing about the L.E. diet that I'm having a problem with is keeping my blood sugar low! I am a snacking addict and it's compulsive. I just don't think my sway has any chance of working unless I can overcome that!

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:agree: That is what I think is at the crux of this. It's the uncomfortableness of diet messing with your head and like I mentioned (I think in this thread, maybe elsewhere) it does that even without swaying. I really, really want to get back in shape and yet in the heat of the moment I am coming up with every explanation I can in order to have what I want when I want it. I just ate two bagels this morning and my excuse was "I'm gonna work out and I need the energy, so I'll skip lunch" (hint: I'm not gonna skip lunch LOL)

What i want you to do is try eating 5 meals a day. It's still better than the all day grazing. See how that goes. Aim for a goal that is doable and try to stick with it, and if you don't one day or two or a week, eh, you're no worse off than you were. what I hate to see is when people decide "I can't do everything, so I'll do nothing, and I'm sure I'm destined to be a boy mom anyway so it wouldn't have worked and it's all justified" if that makes any sense.

[atomic sagebrush]

Note - totally didn't skip lunch!!

[Lissastick]

Haha!

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[atomic sagebrush]

My eating habits have changed dramatically from the way they were before I conceived my last son. I never eat breakfast, drink coffee first thing and don't snack. I never remember to take vitamins. I think I'm just too busy and stressed to eat right these days. I'm not doing any of it on purpose as I'm not even ttc right now either.

And this is what happens with other people too. People who have mixed gender families do not realize it but their diets do change after their kiddos. Some people get busy and skip meals, others end up eating more or differently because they eat with their kids and have more balanced meals. These things do sway but when you ask people they never realize it or remember, because it wasn't a deliberate thing.

[Throwaway_panther]

And this is what happens with other people too. People who have mixed gender families do not realize it but their diets do change after their kiddos. Some people get busy and skip meals, others end up eating more or differently because they eat with their kids and have more balanced meals. These things do sway but when you ask people they never realize it or remember, because it wasn't a deliberate thing.
I'm hoping this will happen with me! I just realized how often I eat compared to when I conceived DD, especially when breastfeeding. I can easily see how someone could either go my route of ravenous postpartum or not eat at all postpartum because of lack of time, no nursing, etc.

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[Lissastick]

My eating habits haven't changed at all...if anything, it's even more extremely boy friendly now after I had my son! This is one of the reasons why I feel like I may be best build for making boys...

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