BD pattern causing stress!

[honeybee37]

We've been TTC since February, but I think most of those months we've actually timed our BD completely wrong and ended up being 3 or 4 or even 5 days away from ovulation! OPKs don't seem to work for me, and I've had 3 months using the CB dual fertility monitor, and had peaks for several days. This month and last, my cycle seemed more 'normal' than it had been, but am still struggling to pinpoint that ideal day. My ovulation had been really late, like CD20, but thanks to eating a bit more sensibly and also (I think) Vitex, last month it was on day 13 with a nice healthy 12 day LP (it had been 5). I'm on CD 13 now, we BD-ed on Friday (CD11), and I'm on day 5 of high fertility. Hubby is really over the whole 'one attempt' thing and just wants to get pregnant! I just can't decide whether to have another attempt this month as I think Friday's was probably too early, or write off yet another month due to bad timing.... Monday is going to be tricky to BD as I am out and he has to get up at 4 the next day, so I am thinking tonight, which would only be 2 days after Friday's attempt.... I know nobody can really answer this... but would 2 attempts 2 days apart be really bad for a girl sway? I have looked over hundreds of FF charts where they are pregnant with a girl, and I have seen quite a lot with more than 1 BD, but I know it is thought that 1 attempt is the best way. Arrrgh, this is stressing me out so much!!

[honeybee37]

I also should add, we hadn't BDed for absolutely ages before Friday... So I'm wondering whether there was actually anything alive in there, lol! He claims not to have released on his own and we hadn't BD for over a month ��

[4blue2pink]

im no expert and cant help you with regulating cycles or anything.. but as far as making attempts goes maybe switch to the bd every 4 days pattern? that way you will still end up with only 1 attempt in fertile window but it takes away the need for ovulation tests, seems lots of people are doing it this way to avoid the stress of pinpointing the right day to bd on :) plus if your husband is over the whole one attempt thing then this might be a good option for you? good luck with your sway and i hope you get your bfp soon!!

[honeybee37]

Yes, we have tried that too, it's just we always seem to be 3 days before O and the day after! Which isn't v high odds of conception! That's why my husband is keen to just BD whenever. He doesn't mind if we have a boy or a girl...

[Eko]

What if you increase it to every 3 days instead of every 4?

And if I were you I would do the attempt tonight even if it means it could be twice in fertile window, you've been ttc since february so it's time to get pregnant now. Being on LE diet should for so long should account for something and you can't be sure both attempts actually will fall within the fertile window.

But I'm writing from the perspective of someone who probably can't conceive because of problem with DH sperm, so I might not be as terrified of risking two attempts in fertile window as someone with an abundance of strong healthy sperm. ;-) But a doctor told us that DH should release frequently to optimize sperm parameters so I agree with you that production and quality might be low after a month of not releasing.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think you need to do every 4 days from here on. Anyone for whom OPK aren't working reliably, go to e4d. We have enough results in now so I can say that it is getting good results. :agree:

I would have you be in with another attempt. But that's just me, I was always more interested in getting preggo than having an absolutely ideal sway. When in doubt, flip a coin. It's much better than worrying yourself sick over something that no one can really know what is best.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, we have tried that too, it's just we always seem to be 3 days before O and the day after! Which isn't v high odds of conception! That's why my husband is keen to just BD whenever. He doesn't mind if we have a boy or a girl...

In that case, you have a couple options which is you could go to every 3 days OR e4d plus one more attempt at pos OPK.

[atomic sagebrush]

I also should add, we hadn't BDed for absolutely ages before Friday... So I'm wondering whether there was actually anything alive in there, lol! He claims not to have released on his own and we hadn't BD for over a month ��

You guys can't let that happen any more. He'll really have reduced his sperm health and quality by doing that. Deffo have another attempt and from here on in he needs to be cleaning the pipes either every 2-4 days (would be my preference) or at least once a week (if you can't let go of the sway angle of it)

[honeybee37]

Well we had an attempt last night and I'd got a positive OpK that afternoon. Fingers crossed!
Yeah atomic you're right... Partly my fault in that I've found vitex has massively helped regulate my cycles but has zapped my sex drive to virtually nothing :-/
Anyway, let's hope this is our month!
Thanks everyone

[atomic sagebrush]

No one who's been TTC as long as you have should be on Vitex. I really think it cuts odds of conception significantly.

FX for this month and then I'd ahve you lose the vitex in future.

[honeybee37]

I have only just seen this. That is strange as I had thought vitex aided conception! Going to stop vitex next month as well then. Thanks atomic :)



No one who's been TTC as long as you have should be on Vitex. I really think it cuts odds of conception significantly.

FX for this month and then I'd ahve you lose the vitex in future.

[atomic sagebrush]

Vitex needs to be one of the FIRST things to go for anyone who has not gotten pregnant, ESPECIALLY if your cycle has gone weird like yours did.

Vitex can help people who have PCOS (which is basically like having too many hormones, in a nutshell) to get pregnant. Their cycles can get really long and their LP gets short, but it's because they have high T levels causing cysts that interfere with ovulation. So Vitex lowers those hormones (mainly testosterone and estrogen). There is an opposite problem though, and that is what affects us on this site most of the time. That's when diet too strictly has lowered hormones, particularly estrogen, and so you don't have enough estrogen to surge. Your O is delayed and your LP gets short but vitex will not fix this and in fact will make it worse.

All this is complicated by the fact that most people who you run into IRL or online who have fertility challenges, DO have PCOS. So you hear of people who it seemed to work for, but that does not then mean that anyone who is having trouble getting pregnant should therefore take it, any more than everyone with a cough should do chemo for lung cancer.

Vitex used to be used as an herbal birth control. Both biologically and in our experience I've seen enough to make me 100% convinced that it does NOT help the majority of people with non-PCO related fertility issues get pregnant.