Atomic frequency and abstaining ttc boy

[rachel86]

Hi atomic! Last time I checked, you recommend DTD 3 times after the first positive opk for ttc boy. My question is, would it be better to have DH abstain as far as he can before attempt (max 4 days) then we DTD as soon as I get that positive opk? Or is it better if DH and I have sex every other day at end of AF then DTD 3 times when I get that positive opk?

[Throwaway_panther]

Also wondering, since last I checked, the spreadsheet had high success with some abstaining.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[gojulieogo]

I saw on another thread she said every 2 to 4 days, but I'm not sure if there is supposed to be an abstinence period just before ovulation; I'm curious too!

[bre_cooper11]

Curious about this as well.

[The Anchor]

Every 2 - 4 days after AF leaves town, then 3 attempts in 24 hours at +OPK. No abstain!

[rachel86]

Thank you for the reply Anchor. Are we supposed to use protection on those days before the positive opk? Can you please tell me if the baby dancing every 2-4 days is to keep sperm count high? or is it meant to make the vagina more boy friendly? Or both?

[bre_cooper11]

Thank you for the reply Anchor. Are we supposed to use protection on those days before the positive opk? Can you please tell me if the baby dancing every 2-4 days is to keep sperm count high? or is it meant to make the vagina more boy friendly? Or both?

No protection and It's meant for both. But I get your question... the stats are really good for attempts 0-3 or 0-2 and then 3 attempts in your micro-window or at O. HTH

[Pearl327]

Def no abstain or protection the month you are TTC the every 2-4 day pattern is for sperm health and to make us more boy friendly.
My girls were 1 attempt after 7 day abstain and DS was every 2 or 3 days (we just didn't do a 4 day) then O-3, O-2, Oday am & pm. We were hoping for an O-1 attempt too but life got in the way.

[Throwaway_panther]

So what makes every 4 days both girl and boy suggestions? Is it the extra attempts at O then that edge more boy?

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[rachel86]

Thank you bre_cooper11 and Pearl327.
So I should baby dance every other day, that should fall around 0-3 or 0-2 etc and then DTD 3 times within 24 hrs, as soon as I get the first positive opk. Is there a reason why atomic doesn't recommend continuing to baby dance after the 24 hrs (on ovulation day) ? Does it sway pink?
Based on my baby dance pattern every other day, would it be okay if I end up DTD on 0-2 and then again the next day on O-1 and again on O day? That wouldn't leave room for 2 days abstain? I wouldn't be able to know when I get my first positive opk only until I'm at O-1

[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you bre_cooper11 and Pearl327.
So I should baby dance every other day, that should fall around 0-3 or 0-2 etc and then DTD 3 times within 24 hrs, as soon as I get the first positive opk. Is there a reason why atomic doesn't recommend continuing to baby dance after the 24 hrs (on ovulation day) ? Does it sway pink?
Based on my baby dance pattern every other day, would it be okay if I end up DTD on 0-2 and then again the next day on O-1 and again on O day? That wouldn't leave room for 2 days abstain? I wouldn't be able to know when I get my first positive opk only until I'm at O-1
It doesn't sway pink -- or blue. The egg is only out and moving for that long. Any sex after that is unlikely to result in conception.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[bre_cooper11]

Thank you bre_cooper11 and Pearl327.
So I should baby dance every other day, that should fall around 0-3 or 0-2 etc and then DTD 3 times within 24 hrs, as soon as I get the first positive opk. Is there a reason why atomic doesn't recommend continuing to baby dance after the 24 hrs (on ovulation day) ? Does it sway pink?
Based on my baby dance pattern every other day, would it be okay if I end up DTD on 0-2 and then again the next day on O-1 and again on O day? That wouldn't leave room for 2 days abstain? I wouldn't be able to know when I get my first positive opk only until I'm at O-1

No problem!! I am pretty the idea is that the majority of the sperm should to be waiting on the egg. However, just in case you O late OR don't conceive, you should continue to BD every 2-4 days after suspected O. We BD every 2-4 days (better if it's every 2 days) for sperm health as timing doesn't really sway. The more sperm the better, too... which is why she suggests 3-5 attempts in the micro-window.
Your pattern sounds fine. If you're not okay with it, then try for 0-3 then skip 0-2 and BD at 0-1 (at pos opk) and so forth. However, you want 3-5 attempts in your window. So 0-3, 0-2, 0-1 then 2 atempts on 0, should be fine!

[rachel86]

Thank you! I think that is what im going to do baby dance every other day (which is every 2 days right?) , and continue to baby dance every other day even after the 3 attempts at positive opk just in case I ovulate late. Would I be able to tell if I definitely ovulated? When an opk goes negative, does that mean I already ovulated?

[gojulieogo]

Thank you! I think that is what im going to do baby dance every other day (which is every 2 days right?)

My husband and I have actually been arguing over whether or not "every 2 days" and "every other day" are the same! I thought it meant like Monday, Thursday, Sunday, but he thinks it means Monday, Wednesday, Friday, etc.

Any clarification would be awesome!

[Pbn3]

Every other day is every 2 days :) at least that's what I've always understood it to be

Sent from my GT-I9305T using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

Abstain is a PINK sway tactic. We need to redo the blue spreadsheet as there are some misleading q's in it (I think the volunteer that did it just used the pink sway questionnaire) DO NOT have DH abstain as long as he can. He should only "let it build up" 2-4 days. (When people say they did abstain, they are NOT intending to mean that they had DH abstain 7-10 days, only 2-4).

What you don't want to do is have either long periods of abstain (like 7-10 days) OR many days of back to back release for many days in a row before your attempt.

Have DH release on his own or with you with a condom, every 2-4 days and then go for the 3 attempts at or around pos OPK.

[atomic sagebrush]

My husband and I have actually been arguing over whether or not "every 2 days" and "every other day" are the same! I thought it meant like Monday, Thursday, Sunday, but he thinks it means Monday, Wednesday, Friday, etc.

Any clarification would be awesome!

This is one of those gray areas where your husband's abilities have to come into play. A LOT of the hubbies we have amongst our blue swayers have a very low sex drive and have a lot of trouble either maintaining an erection. Some of these couples are having sex only once every two weeks, once a month or even longer than that. If they tried to DTD every other day, they would not be able to, and they for sure wouldn't then be able to hit it with the 3 attempts when it was time. So those guys have to be very careful to stretch it out to every 2,3,4 days between BD and please, guys, there is no magic to this (for either pink or blue), it is a tool we use and NOT something that is swaying in and of itself so do the pattern that your husband can manage and stick with.

Now for some of us whose husbands are able to DTD more (and many of our pink swayers are in this boat, we have guys on here who release on their own just for fun every day and then can BD every day besides o.O) we would easily be able to DTD EOD and then still hit it with 3 attempts. BUT just in case, I think the wisest rule is to BD every 2-4 days just somewhere in there, that way you don't end up with too many attempts back to back and he can't get-r-done after pos OPK, and at the same time if something goes wrong (like sick kid in the bed or late night at work) you don't end up with a super long abstain, either.

Again, it's not that some magic pattern of BD sways. It's that these patterns are tools we use to help us be in with max sperm count and max numbers of living sperm when the egg shows up. So use the tool to accomplish that based on what you know about your hubby's drive and your likelihood of BD in a particular pattern. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! I think that is what im going to do baby dance every other day (which is every 2 days right?) , and continue to baby dance every other day even after the 3 attempts at positive opk just in case I ovulate late. Would I be able to tell if I definitely ovulated? When an opk goes negative, does that mean I already ovulated?

No. If you can't tell by your symptoms (in addition to things like O pains and EWCM which are not that reliable, some people will find things like mood changes, breast pain, and libido to be more telling) then just pick it back up again with the eod or every 2-3 days after you think you Oed.

The rate at which OPK go negative really don't tell you if you've Oed or not. You can still be getting positives after O has occured, and you can also have a negative before you O.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you for the reply Anchor. Are we supposed to use protection on those days before the positive opk? Can you please tell me if the baby dancing every 2-4 days is to keep sperm count high? or is it meant to make the vagina more boy friendly? Or both?

Regular exposure to the hormones in your husband's semen may make you both more fertile (pretty well proven) and also more boy friendly (less proven but still a strong theory). Addionally it may make HIM more blue friendly too by possibly upping sperm count and overall fertility (including T levels) versus doing it his-own-self. SO, I prefer you guys to BD when not fertile as well, BUT some people choose not to do that because they're worried about Shettles. It's up to you to decide. If you are a Shettles believer you'd have him release either on his own or with you, with a non-spermicide condom.

[squigglepink]

My husband and I have actually been arguing over whether or not "every 2 days" and "every other day" are the same! I thought it meant like Monday, Thursday, Sunday, but he thinks it means Monday, Wednesday, Friday, etc.

Any clarification would be awesome!

My 1st son we BD on CD10, CD12, CD16 and CD25 ( i was not using opk's). My 2nd son we BD on CD7, CD10, CD12, CD14, CD18 and CD 25 (Again, No opk's used)

[atomic sagebrush]

So what makes every 4 days both girl and boy suggestions? Is it the extra attempts at O then that edge more boy?

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Every 4 days for pink swayers ends up being basically one viable attempt in the fertile window without them having to track or monitor anything.

Every 4 days for blue swayers is in addition to 3 attempts in fertile window. This is for (as I just explained right above this) regular exposure to your husband's semen and also for benefits for him by improving sperm count and quality. And then in addition to that you have the 3 attempts. (and I didn't go into this above but some guys who do have trouble completing the transaction if they tried to do it 3 times in a row, could actually sneak in another viable attempt this way for example if it fell on O-2, and then he could not DTD the next day or the next morning - it's like a back up plan too for guys who cannot always perform under pressure or many times in a row.)

Remember, these patters are just tools to accomplish things we are actually trying to achieve here. The important thing seems to be one attempt for pink, and more sperm on hand both coming out of DH, and also on hand to meet egg for blue. Both can be accomplished with e4d in different scenarios.

[atomic sagebrush]

My 1st son we BD on CD10, CD12, CD16 and CD25 ( i was not using opk's). My 2nd son we BD on CD7, CD10, CD12, CD14, CD18 and CD 25 (Again, No opk's used)

:agree: exactly. What the majority of blue mamas do (some of us have 2-3-4 boys or more this this way) is just regular BD, not daily, but every couple days. Sometimes thru O, sometimes even with a cutoff, but just in with regular BD not really knowing that it swayed in any particular way.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you bre_cooper11 and Pearl327.
So I should baby dance every other day, that should fall around 0-3 or 0-2 etc and then DTD 3 times within 24 hrs, as soon as I get the first positive opk. Is there a reason why atomic doesn't recommend continuing to baby dance after the 24 hrs (on ovulation day) ? Does it sway pink?
Based on my baby dance pattern every other day, would it be okay if I end up DTD on 0-2 and then again the next day on O-1 and again on O day? That wouldn't leave room for 2 days abstain? I wouldn't be able to know when I get my first positive opk only until I'm at O-1

The abstain doesn't matter any more once the fertile window opens. Once you become fertile, you start making copious EWCM and the sperm go up there and hide out till the egg shows up. So, you don't have to abstain any more at that point.

Example - a person trying for one Shettles attempt might have their hubs abstain for like 4 days and then hit it with one big attempt on O Day. There might be 40 million sperm in that shot (most of which would never even have time to capacitate and make it to the egg, ladies, so please don't do classic Shettles for a boy!!)

But a person trying for regular BD + 3 would have, to use your example, a 40 mil. shot on O-2 (one of your two most fertile days, by far better than O Day!) then another shot of O-1 (your other most fertile day) and even if it was half what the first shot was, you'd still have added another 20 mil. Again the next morning (we'll half it again) and that is 10 mil. more sperm, and again the following night for 5 more. All those sperm have at least a shot at the egg and if there is some kind of communication between sperm or other effect from the number of attempts, you're going to end up way better off than you were with one shot on O DAy.

I actually DO recommend BD after 24 hours. Some people may not want to because they're scared of hitting O+12. But if you think you're still fertile, I'd keep right on chugging with attempts and even after you think your window is closed, resume the every 2-4 days pattern in case you haven't Oed yet and also to continue the exposure to the semen and reap the benefits of that.

great thread ladies, thanks for questions!!!

[rachel86]

Thank you so much atomic! So when you say to continue baby dancing even after the 3 attempts at 24 hours, do you mean resume baby dance 2-4 days from then or do you mean (if I can) fit in one more attempt after the 24hrs and then baby dance 2-4 days from then? Do you think it's beneficial for that 4th attempt? I wouldn't want to wear out my DH haha but if it will help us in increasing our chances of getting a boy I know he will agree to it.

[gojulieogo]

Okay, so Atomic, just to make sure I'm understanding, does this sound like a good plan?

About a month before TTC, start cutting back from daily release to every other day. Then when I get a positive OPK, BD that night, twice the next day, and once a day for the next couple days after that. Then go back to every other day-ish. This wouldn't be an issue for DH; he'd go 2-3 times a day if I was game for it.

Anything there I need to change?

[Throwaway_panther]

Now for some of us whose husbands are able to DTD more (and many of our pink swayers are in this boat, we have guys on here who release on their own just for fun every day and then can BD every day besides o.O)

This is my DH... ._. He has even gone twice DURING sex, or will release himself within a half hour of having sex. Sex might be the only thing we were ever super blue at lol (after reading Shettles, I thought we had a girl because we had too much sex, even though it wasn't every day but super close to your recommendation)

Regular exposure to the hormones in your husband's semen may make you both more fertile (pretty well proven) and also more boy friendly (less proven but still a strong theory). Addionally it may make HIM more blue friendly too by possibly upping sperm count and overall fertility (including T levels) versus doing it his-own-self. SO, I prefer you guys to BD when not fertile as well, BUT some people choose not to do that because they're worried about Shettles. It's up to you to decide. If you are a Shettles believer you'd have him release either on his own or with you, with a non-spermicide condom.
So even though I know Shettles doesn't mean ****, my concern over the unprotected sex for blue is worrying about not getting in the extra attempts at O, and accidentally getting pregnant with the every few days deal :/

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much atomic! So when you say to continue baby dancing even after the 3 attempts at 24 hours, do you mean resume baby dance 2-4 days from then or do you mean (if I can) fit in one more attempt after the 24hrs and then baby dance 2-4 days from then? Do you think it's beneficial for that 4th attempt? I wouldn't want to wear out my DH haha but if it will help us in increasing our chances of getting a boy I know he will agree to it.

Either/or. What we're trying to guard against, is a delayed ovulation that happens later than you think it's going to. So we don't want to rest on our laurels having 3 attempts at positive OPK and then nothing, and then egg shows up 2-3 days later and there just isn't anything THERE to meet it. Since lower sperm numbers may sway pink, this could undermine your sway to some extent and it's certianly not going to help you get pregnant. So if you O 48 hours after that first positive or even more like 72 (this can happen sometimes) and you stop BD on what you think is O day, then that's 2 more days with no attempts for sperm to die off. So if you wanted to tack another attempt on to cover against that, that doesn't hurt anything (because again, you're just adding more sperm to the mix if you haven't Oed yet, OR the egg will be fertilized or dead by then if you have.)

If you're pretty sure you Oed, then going back to the every 2-4 days idea is always a good one because if you do O late, there will be a relatively healthy size batch lying in wait (vs. every single day in a row.) plus it hopefully helps in the future with the regular exposure to the hormones in the semen.

[atomic sagebrush]

Okay, so Atomic, just to make sure I'm understanding, does this sound like a good plan?

About a month before TTC, start cutting back from daily release to every other day. Then when I get a positive OPK, BD that night, twice the next day, and once a day for the next couple days after that. Then go back to every other day-ish. This wouldn't be an issue for DH; he'd go 2-3 times a day if I was game for it.

Anything there I need to change?

Yes. This is a solid plan and great for a guy who likes to BD a lot. :agree:

IF anyone out there is reading this and now wanting to adopt a plan like this, PLEASE only do it if your husband is already BD every day all the time and you got girls doing that. If you and your husband are having sex once a month or once a week and/or your husband has trouble getting an erection or ejaculating in a reasonable time. This would NOT be a good plan for 95% of blue swayers and so this is just a special case here and not a blanket prescription.

[atomic sagebrush]

This is my DH... ._. He has even gone twice DURING sex, or will release himself within a half hour of having sex. Sex might be the only thing we were ever super blue at lol (after reading Shettles, I thought we had a girl because we had too much sex, even though it wasn't every day but super close to your recommendation)

So even though I know Shettles doesn't mean ****, my concern over the unprotected sex for blue is worrying about not getting in the extra attempts at O, and accidentally getting pregnant with the every few days deal :/

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

:agree: my husband regularly goes 2x. What you guys have to avoid is the supersex where it's all day every day. I have seen it very often that the folks who BD every day all the time do end up having more girls (but again, this is NOT something I recommend for a pink sway tactic because it can backfire in a number of ways that I"ll go into if anyone is interested).

That IS my concern too for blue swayers, that the guys who try for too much sex, end up unable to finish or even start during the fertile window when it really counts. Thus, this is why I recommend the every 2-4 days pattern is because the majority of guys can DTD that often and still hit it with 3 in the fertile window.

[gojulieogo]

Thanks Atomic! It feels good to officially have a plan :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for a great thread, ladies! I've officially added this one to the complete index for benefit of other blue swayers. :)

[gojulieogo]

Okay, so Atomic, just to make sure I'm understanding, does this sound like a good plan?

About a month before TTC, start cutting back from daily release to every other day. Then when I get a positive OPK, BD that night, twice the next day, and once a day for the next couple days after that. Then go back to every other day-ish. This wouldn't be an issue for DH; he'd go 2-3 times a day if I was game for it.

Anything there I need to change?

Okay, so slight change in plan because I got a fertility monitor to use instead of OPKs. Do I just switch "positive OPK" in my plan for "Peak" on my monitor?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes exactly!! first positive = peak. :)

[gojulieogo]

Thank you! This is so exciting (slash terrifying)!!!

[gojulieogo]

Okay, DH wants to clarify, now that I'm cutting release to every other day: can he release more than once on the "on" days, and if not, why not?

(It's been less than a week and he's already cranky ��)

[atomic sagebrush]

Exciting news Julie!!

Releasing more than one time in a day is a pink sway tactic. It may lower sperm count and possibly sway pink. Now that having been said I can tell you that my husband could do that level of release and father a small blue army, but the standard dogma is not to. :)

[gojulieogo]

Okay, re-read and want to make sure I'm understanding; when should we stop using condoms? People are talking about O-3, O-2 etc... if it's 2 or 3 days before I'm expecting to hit "peak," should we be having unprotected sex that day too?

So, for example, if I'm expecting "peak" day on November 10, with our current every other day schedule, we'd be having sex on the 7th and 9th before starting official attempts on the 10th. Do we use protection on those days or not? And would it be better to adjust my schedule so we're having sex on the 8th and then have the 9th as a rest day before starting official attempts on the 10th?

[atomic sagebrush]

It's up to you and how much you believe in timing. If you DO believe in timing, you'd want to keep the condom on till 1 day before O and then have 3 attempts. If you don't believe in it (and it never worked for me!!) then I would have attempt on what you THINK will be O-3 or O-2, then see what happens the next day. If you don't get a peak, then possibly skip a day (or not at your discretion) and then DTD again (assuming you did not get a peak), take a day off, DTD etc etc etc. Then once you get a peak, hit it with 2-3 attempts if you can.

It's kind of hard to explain the reasoning for this but I'll explain the reasoning for NOT this LOL it's because we don't want to start up with every day attempts if you actually aren't about to O - like let's say you have a delayed ovulation, which does happen sometimes, then if you're attempting daily, you may end up with several attempts in a row, most of which are before the fertile window opens up. So it's better to stick to every other day if you're getting possibly close (like O-3, O-2) and then wait for the peak to hit it with the attempts.

[atomic sagebrush]

It's up to you and how much you believe in timing. If you DO believe in timing, you'd want to keep the condom on till 1 day before O and then have 3 attempts. If you don't believe in it (and it never worked for me!!) then I would have attempt on what you THINK will be O-3 or O-2, then see what happens the next day. If you don't get a peak, then possibly skip a day (or not at your discretion) and then DTD again (assuming you did not get a peak), take a day off, DTD etc etc etc. Then once you get a peak, hit it with 2-3 attempts if you can.

It's kind of hard to explain the reasoning for this but I'll explain the reasoning for NOT this LOL it's because we don't want to start up with every day attempts if you actually aren't about to O - like let's say you have a delayed ovulation, which does happen sometimes, then if you're attempting daily, you may end up with several attempts in a row, most of which are before the fertile window opens up. So it's better to stick to every other day if you're getting possibly close (like O-3, O-2) and then wait for the peak to hit it with the attempts.