IG thread on FR vs abstinence...Confused!!

[angiesscripts]

Did anyone see this thread? http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/235076.aspx

Someone researched the failed girl sways and found that 90% of them did moderate to frequent release... What I don't know is what their definition of frequent release was...ie was it the 7-10 days that Atomic recommends.

I'm just confused and don't know what to do. My husband is 37, and I know you guys have mentioned it can cause birth defects with long abstinence.

I was hoping to get some of your inputs. Thanks!

[rainbowflower]

it's hard when you take that one thing out of context, it could be a combination of multiple factors and not just the one that caused an opposite... and also might be skewed because women with failed sways are less likely to return and "confess" it. I wonder how many sways she reviewed too

or maybe those women had DHs who, like my husband, found that 24hrs is enough time to get the quantity ejaculated nearly back up to normal amounts so would need to release more often in a 24hr period

[zanacal]

I agree with rainbow - there's no way to compare one aspect of a sway to that same aspect of somebody else's without every other factor having been the same and even then our bodies all react differently to the same circumstances (and that we have no control of!). I believe you have to find the right way forward for you and DH personally based on what you read and what feels right (and do-able) to you.

[maybeoneday]

I think I am confident in my decision to do frequent release partly based on the 'how we got girls' thread. Nearly all the girl mums who are currently TTC a boy that replied to that thread did frequent BD.

[queen-of-harts]

I think its an individual choice but here is my take on it.Dh and i got ds1 with frequent release,ds's 2-5 we bd every other day or every two days.Ds6 we did frequent again.I strongly felt that frequent raised my ph and testosterone in both dh and i.I will be doing abstain as i feel not only will it lower his T and count i hope it will send the message that im a single lady who is without a man constantly in my dwelling which sways pink in itself. I think if someone decides on frequent you should have dh do the releasing with no sex until your attempt,if you have a man who would do that lol I really think even protected sex or helping dh finish raises T. Just my opinions ;) good luck!

[fourblessings]

I really agree with everything Queen of hearts said. All 3 of my daughters were concieved on Ov with one try. Abstinance of about 5 days prior. But I also agree we are all different

[pinkdreams]

I read that too and it made me lean towards abstinence, especially when I realized DH is 35 not 36 like I thought :suprise: ( I can never keep my own age straight either, only I always think I'm younger :bigsmile:) so we are going with a 9 day abstinence this month but if that doesn't work then I'm trying frequent (twice daily) next month with more attempts. Good luck!!

[Flava]

I don't know what is best to do but typical IG post ...she pick other ppl sway apart and even make fun of poor girls on page 2!
uhhh just hate posts like this...
Also the longer you wait the more dead and damaged sperm you get for sure .Looks like they don't think about that.

[atomic sagebrush]

Moderate release WILL sway blue.

We have no way of knowing how this person defined "frequent release". Was it really 7-10 days of release every single day or did the people she's mentioning skip days here and there?? That's not frequent release. She also does not mention the % of people who did FR and DID get their DG.

For frequent release you must have your husband release every day once and even twice, for 7-10 days. And if you don't do that, it isn't frequent release and in a lot of guys, will sway blue.

Tamara does not like frequent release, and so a lot of people feel like they need to back her up on that. Which is fine.

The reason why I don't love abstaining is not because it doesn't work, because it DOES. It's because there has been a small but statistically significant link between birth defects and long abstaining in guys over 35, and also because if you're doing a lot of other things to sway, it may be impossible to get pg doing long abstains. Like, I could make a post that said something like, "90% of the people who did long abstains didn't get pregnant" but I have no way of proving that. If you don't get pg, you have no shot at your DG.

Personally, I find it a little ridiculous to assume that anyone who doesn't abstain for 14 days will not conceive a girl. Most couples BD a hell of a lot more than that, esp. when they're TTC. So of most of the billions of girls and women walking around on the face of the planet, it is highly likely that most of them were not conceived via 14 day abstain.

[atomic sagebrush]

it's hard when you take that one thing out of context, it could be a combination of multiple factors and not just the one that caused an opposite... and also might be skewed because women with failed sways are less likely to return and "confess" it. I wonder how many sways she reviewed too

or maybe those women had DHs who, like my husband, found that 24hrs is enough time to get the quantity ejaculated nearly back up to normal amounts so would need to release more often in a 24hr period

Exactly. What else was going on that made gals decide to do FR (if that is even what they did.) rather than abstain???

Reminds me of all those threads where they say, "look at the people who didn't do timing, they all got boys" but then those are the same set of people who also didn't do diet, etc. Proves nothing.

[atomic sagebrush]

Also, checking the date on this thread is intriguing because it is VERY RECENT. Meaning, it's since I started giving out advice and perhaps even more telling, since we really started taking FR and compressed FR very seriously. I wonder how much of that thread was as a response to people asking questions about FR as a result of what we've been talking about here???

Please note, they did not even MENTION the evidence regarding abstinence and birth defects, that which I know damn well they know about.

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't know what is best to do but typical IG post ...she pick other ppl sway apart and even make fun of poor girls on page 2!
uhhh just hate posts like this...
Also the longer you wait the more dead and damaged sperm you get for sure .Looks like they don't think about that.

I totally agree flava, I found that thread INFURIATING.

[angiesscripts]

Thank you everyone for your responses! I feel much better about my decision for FR now. :) I just didnt think about it, but I know you can't just pick and choose information and it be accurate at all.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ugh I apologize, I sounded very bitchy in that response towards the gals of IG who are just doing the best they can to figure out the best ways to sway as we are. I'm sorry.

[cocos-mum]

when i conieve my girl me and dh had only been together 4 months and we was like bunnies constantly at it infact the day i think i conieve my daugther we did it 13 times (only know because i bet him he couldn't do over 10 so we counted lol) with our son we was ttc so we bd every other day.

[atomic sagebrush]

cocos-mum, thanks for that info! Very helpful!!!