I guess I'll be leaving...

[Lissastick]

So, I'm giving up on my sway. I haven't been trying for long, but I'm just not cut out for this. Swaying doesn't feel right to me. It doesn't feel natural. Well, because it isn't natural. Haha. We're trying to do things opposite from what we usually do and I liked the way I did things before.

I'm still not even 100% sure that I want to even keep TTC another child at all. And even if I decide to, I think I want another boy anyway. I'm sure that is what I will get - easily. I tend to want what I can have easily. I despise having to fight and struggle over things that I don't have to. I have so many battles to fight as it is (adult ADHD, depression, shopping addiction, being a mom to a VERY high spirited / high needs toddler, a sick mother, too many more things to count) and I just want to choose my battles better. I don't want to fight myself over what I eat, and when I feel like eating and how many times my husband and I have sex to make a baby. That's just not me. I always thought I was a control freak, but I'm not really if I think about it. There are some things I just don't care to control.

I wish everyone so much baby dust for pink or blue or whatever they want!
I want to thank everyone for all the advice and the support.

And you ladies all ROCK. You should all be really proud of yourselves. Hugs!

[BrightSky]

Good luck!! Definitely know what u mean, think my sway was pretty lame in the end with everything going on in my life! But at the end of the day it's still pretty close to 50/50 with doing nothing, so who knows!!

[MrsSparkles]

Wishing you all the luck for the future.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and you're superwoman in my mind for dealing with everything !
It's a 50/50 anyway like you said, we can have the most 'perfect' sway, and still end up with an opposite.

[Serenity]

Hi Lissastick,

I just wanted to say that I understand...I also struggle with ADHD and PTSD/depression, and find that low blood sugar really exaggerates these issues. I'm in a different situation: I already have two boys and if my DH agrees to go ahead with TTC, this will be my last chance to have a daughter, so I'm sticking with it, but in your situation I might feel differently.

My DS1 was also very challenging as an infant and toddler (he was recently diagnosed with ADHD too), and it took us a few years to decide to TTC again after that experience. Although he continues to be a more challenging kid than most, as he gets older the issues have changed - now his teacher is the one who struggles with him at school, whereas at home we have finally learned how to keep him entertained and happy. He's 7 now, and he's a very easy kid to deal with at home. As long as he never gets bored, our house is peaceful. :giggle: I thought I would share this because it took us a long time to realize that boredom was the problem/enemy, and the moment that clicked into place, everything changed for us. Now we never go anywhere without books, small toys, coloring stuff, and smartphone/video games, and he is as good as gold all the time, even in restaurants. We're thinking about trying medication because of his struggles at school, but honestly, at home he definitely doesn't need it because we have it all figured out! I'm not saying your little guy has ADHD, but if you have it, there's a chance that he might, too, or at least might have some tendencies that way...I searched high and low for answers when DS1 was little and "spirited" was the best I could come up with at the time, too. I wish I had known that all I had to do was work a bit harder to keep him entertained. :happy:

Anyways, I wish you and your family all the best. :hug2:

[Girlieplease]

I will miss you, it seems like your at peace with your decision and a far cry from the emotional roller-coaster you have been on. Please come back and update us if you do have another baby. I would love to know how your journey continues, I have two boys close in age and they are awesome together, so if you did decide to ttc without swaying it would be win win, take care of yourself! X o

[ksmom]

If swaying doesn't feel right then I understand your decision to not go ahead with it. It can be a long, hard road and it's not for everyone. I remember joining here just a month before DS2 was conceived and thinking I wanted to sway. I chickened out last minute and when I found out we were having another boy, I regretted not swaying. I don't have any regrets about it now though. He's my little heart melter and is just the perfect addition to our family. There's just something extra special about him. :) He was actually what I needed and I didn't even know it. He healed me in so many ways and I'm SO glad I decided against swaying at that time. I'm on the other side of it now where I did sway but I'm having my third boy anyway. I'm glad I at least gave it a shot though. If you're 100% okay with having another boy and know that you will not have any regrets, then try for another baby without swaying.

I also understand the stresses of having a "spirited" child. DS1 is most definitely spirited and has been a test since the day he was born (for a long time we thought he was autistic). As he's gotten older, he's gotten easier in many ways (thank goodness lol) but I know what it's like to be in the thick of it and not seeing the forest for the trees. In time I think you will see the positives in having a spirited son. They're so energetic, feel so much more intensely than we do and have such a strong perseverance that these "flaws" or "negative traits" can actually turn out to be positive attributes. :) He's one of the smartest kids in his class and has an insatiable appetite for learning everything he possibly can about the world.

[marriedmomof2]

I understand what you mean, swaying isn't for everyone. I did a very mild sway and I will be 14 weeks tomorrow pregnant with a little girl, I never thought that would be possible. Especially as a full time employee, student, wife and mother I thought I was going to explode so I dropped a lot of my sway tactics. Either way follow your heart, but you if you are okay with having a boy too but want a little girl, just change a few small things to hopefully help tip the odds. Good luck to you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Good luck!! Please stop by now and then to let us know how you're getting on!!

[Lissastick]

Thank you, everyone. I feel so loved! Haha. Everyone has been so helpful and awesome. Especially you, atomic.

We decided to try again this cycle but just doing more attempts. I haven't really changed much from my sway except that I still snack. That was one thing I couldn't stop.

I really thought about it and I really think I want another boy. It's so weird. I have had this deep rooted feeling for years that I am better suited to be a mom to boys. Of course, if I miraculously ended up with a girl, I would be pleasantly surprised! But, I am imagining and expecting another boy. And I started to think my son needed a sister, but, I feel like he needs a brother. He needs a best friend like only a brother can be.

I was best friends with my brother when we were growing up, but, we hardly talk now. I think it wouldn't be that way for brothers. At least I hope not! Lol!

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[A Mad Swayentist]

Just dropped in and read this. I've lurked on a few of your posts Lissa, so I'm sad if you're going, but happy you're still TTC in a more relaxed manner. I think even with the stresses you mention, you sound like you'd be a great mom to two kids! Also, it's strange to read this post, because it makes me think of the self-analysis a lot of us I think go through when we start digging through gender dreaming and whether swaying is right for us or our families. Did you read Atomic's Maternal Dominance essay? Thinking about the "girl mom" or "boy mom" personalities and reading this post, to me you read right down the middle: wanting to take it easy/relaxed/don't mess with what works (Mary/girl mom personality) with some random control-freak aspects (Martha/boy mom personality). I know for myself I certainly feel very divided between the two personalities: I'm very competitive with-, controlling and demanding of- myself, but with others I'm eager to please and not rock the boat.

I'm going to link to the essay if you read this so you see what I'm talking about: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/33517-maternal-dominance-hypothesis-priviledged-daughter-hypothesis.html

Best of luck. I wish you and your family peace and happiness...and fx for a second bundle!

[MrsSparkles]

Lissa

I totally get what you mean about being at peace with either gender.
I have spent so long wanting a DD, but when we lost the pregnancy this year I realised any gender is a blessing.

Not being so stressed out about "I have to have a girl", may actually really help you. I would not be surprised if you have a girl :D

Please post and let us all know if/when you get pregnant :D

[Lissastick]

Thinking about the "girl mom" or "boy mom" personalities and reading this post, to me you read right down the middle: wanting to take it easy/relaxed/don't mess with what works (Mary/girl mom personality) with some random control-freak aspects (Martha/boy mom personality). I know for myself I certainly feel very divided between the two personalities: I'm very competitive with-, controlling and demanding of- myself, but with others I'm eager to please and not rock the boat.

THAT! Exactly. That's pretty much exactly how I see myself. Except these days I am not even controlling with myself! Haha!
I did read the essay! That was very interesting! A lot of it makes a lot of sense!

[Lissastick]

Got a faint BFP at 10dpo.

I'm 95% sure this one is another boy! Lol.

We did 3 attempts during the fertile window and three psychics predicted my next would be a boy. I am expecting one. My son will be so happy since he's been asking for a brother! ❤

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[PrayingForPrincess]

Congratulations on your BFP!! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Got a faint BFP at 10dpo.

I'm 95% sure this one is another boy! Lol.

We did 3 attempts during the fertile window and three psychics predicted my next would be a boy. I am expecting one. My son will be so happy since he's been asking for a brother! ❤

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Huge congrats!! Even with 3 attempts we still got girls 40ish% of the time. Even things that sway a lot, still produce plenty of opposites. :)

[MrsSparkles]

Congratulations !!!!

[Lissastick]

As a science lover, I'm super curious to see what happens! I think I did what a lot of people do: say they are stopping the sway and really still doing things from habit. I was still doing a lot of things differently than I did when I got pregnant with my son.

I'll keep everyone updated!! ❤

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[BrightSky]

huge congratulations!!!!!!! interesting to see what gender you get after all :)

[ELP]

Congratulations on your bfp:) H & H 9 months to you xx