Due March/April/May 2017 (2)

[jdd1017]

Has anyone ever wondered if someday...years from now...there will be ways to ensure you get the gender you want? Like a pill to take or something lol? I know it sounds far fetched but I could see it happening!!


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[Burakoam]

JDD -big hugs- Like i told Jenren i will not compare my pain to yours because honestly i think there is a special place in my heart for someone who wants a daughter and doesnt get one....that goes for you too jenren...and anyone still wondering what their dream daughter would be like.i know all too well how hard my own mother prayed after 2 boys and very luckily got me (in her opinion..idk that i was that much of a blessing in mine though i did give her a bunch of granddaughters! LOL)

As for the idea of the pill, some day that may happen. i think i'll be dead and cold in the ground by the time it does though lol

[Cinss]

I just finished having my morphology scan done. The sex was confirmed 100% girl. My son now has 4 sisters, just one more and we would be the Kardashians! Not going to happen though we have decided that hubby will get a vasectomy soon before the birth. She measured 18w + 4d.

[Cinss]

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Gender potty shots

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Poking her tounge out

[Burakoam]

Silly and adorable baby girl cinss

[purple]

Aww congrats on your girl (officially now) Cinss. I'm sure your DS will be well looked after with all those sisters :)

I have been feeling a lot move movement in the last day or two so it is nice and reassuring :) I'm feeling pretty small for almost 17wks but I think it was because I was so big with DS2... hopefully I will stay around the size I was first time.

[Burakoam]

This nurse here is a real cunt. She pities me for having my 4th girl. She can't professionally say tat obviously, but when your eyes get wide and you sort of scoff/chuckle when you ask a patient what they found out the gender is and they say it's their 4th girl you can kind of tell what her train of thought is.

This was my biggest fear about having all one gender more than anything else. I feel broken and ashamed that my body wouldn't even give me one son.

[Burakoam]

For anyone who hasn't had the blood work wondering what results look like33219

[3'sacharm]

Sorry burakoam, that's one of my biggest concerns of having "another" boy, other people's reactions! Already those who know I'm pregnant have expressed their desire for me to have a girl; I've even been told that I "deserve" to have a girl this time?!! I didn't quite get the angle on that, but I felt slightly offended either way?!x

[purple]

Sorry burakoam, that's one of my biggest concerns of having "another" boy, other people's reactions! Already those who know I'm pregnant have expressed their desire for me to have a girl; I've even been told that I "deserve" to have a girl this time?!! I didn't quite get the angle on that, but I felt slightly offended either way?!x

So are they saying you didn't "deserve" a girl the other times? People say stupid stuff!

I remember when I was pregnant with my first and I didn't know what I was having. Someone I worked with (a man) said "I hope it is a boy as every man deserves a son". I was so offended by that as I wanted a girl and thought I should deserve one too since I'm the one doing all the hard work! He went on to have a girl first but then got his son next so has the perfect pigeon pair family. I also bet he never said this to our boss as he had 3 girls (and wasn't too happy about it either).


I'm sorry you are having people treat you that way Burakom. I think that was also one of my big fears that if I was having another boy everyone would be disappointed with me or pity me. When you are already feeling disappointed you really don't need other people's disappointment, especially when they have nothing much to do with your life or family. I guess if you don't tell them then they will say "oh I hope its a boy" and then that would be annoying too. Pretending like you are super happy about it could stop them giving you the pity treatment, although you might find it a bit hard to do when you are not really feeling it.

[jenren]

That is why I am not sharing the gender and just telling people we are finding out at birth. A few people know but the majority think we aren't finding out gender. People's reaction to ds3 were so bad that I want to enjoy this pregnancy with minimal comments

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[Cinss]

Sorry to hear that Burakoam, never know maybe that nurse was jealous or something, but still very unprofessional to have an obvious reaction.

Ive heard a few pity comments now to, directed towards my son though. Oh poor Cyrus living with all those girls etc. So rude and insulting.

[jenren]

Sorry to hear that Burakoam, never know maybe that nurse was jealous or something, but still very unprofessional to have an obvious reaction.

Ive heard a few pity comments now to, directed towards my son though. Oh poor Cyrus living with all those girls etc. So rude and insulting.
Omg I love your son's name!

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[Cinss]

Thanks Jen 😀

[Cinss]

Just made my first purchase, got a maxi cosi car capsule in pink on Gumtree for half price. Its going to go on the Redsbaby bounce pram I ordered.

[3'sacharm]

Baby2016baby - have you heard back on the results of your harmony test yet?

I've been cramping quite a bit tonight, really period like, in my back and in my legs. Had me quite worried and ended up taking a paracetamol but seems to have settled now, hopefully just stretching pains.... 15 weeks today!x

[Brandles]

I joined this forum almost 5 years ago to offer support to other moms and also get support for myself- support I wasn't getting irl. I may be on baby number 5, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my own set of heartaches and disappointments. I have struggled with multiple miscarriages, and minor infertility in between births. If I wasn't having a miscarriage, I was struggling to get pregnant. I had 3 boys and a miscarriage in-between each one- 2 of those 3 were failed sways and confirmed boys. I was actually told my 3rd boy was a girl... and bought "her" clothes, etc only to find out months later I was actually having a boy. The comments I received and heartbreak I felt was not only very painful, but very discouraging as well. I never claimed to feel what someone else is going through or the pain they're feeling. It's true, we all process and feel things differently. My heart is aching to think that my happiness or comments may have been the cause for someone else's pain. I would never intentionally try to hurt someone's feelings or claim I know exactly what they're going through. I never expected to have a 4th child or even a FIFTH for that matter... I am here because I don't have very many people to share my pregnancy with... including an unsupportive husband that wasn't even wanting another baby, let alone have another girl - he has hardly spoken a word to me after I told him the gender results and after the tech "confirmed" it at our ultrasound yesterday.

My point is - We are all here for support and to share our pregnancies with other moms within our birth group... I hope this is a place I can continue to come to for comfort and to share all the ups and downs that come with pregnancy. I really enjoy reading your posts and I try to log on as much as I can. Again, I truly apologize if I have hurt someone's feelings or offended anyone. Love to you all!!! :heart:

[Burakoam]

Baby found out last Wednesday that she's having her 4th girl. She and her husband are not taking it well at all given it was their 2nd failed sway and also their last shot. Although she is happy for everyone who gets their dg, at the moment she is unable to post on the board's as it is too painful and not helping matters.

[purple]

Sorry Baby2016baby that you didn't hear boy. I'm sure there isn't anything I can say that will help but I hope the pain eases with time. Thanks for letting us know Burakoam.

[purple]

Just made my first purchase, got a maxi cosi car capsule in pink on Gumtree for half price. Its going to go on the Redsbaby bounce pram I ordered.

I would have thought you would already have a pram.. what did you have before? I'm looking at changing prams too as I want one that is reversible, I still have my phil & teds sports from 2008 even though we haven't used it for over 2 years.

[Cinss]

I would have thought you would already have a pram.. what did you have before? I'm looking at changing prams too as I want one that is reversible, I still have my phil & teds sports from 2008 even though we haven't used it for over 2 years.
I had sold all my stuff as we were done having babies haha. My last pram was a steelcraft strider dlx. This time I wanted the capsule to make it easier at school and kindy drop off/ pick up.

Baby, so sorry your results didn't come back different. Hope your ok 😞

[Brandles]

Sorry you didn't get your dg Baby2016. I am thinking of you and sending you hugs! :hug2:

[Brandles]

Cinss, I sold ALL our baby stuff too. I seriously just sold the last of it like 6 months ago... the only thing I kept was her cloth diapers, I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of them.

[Girlieplease]

So sorry to read this baby, I am thinking about you and sending hugs to you at this difficult time, be gentle on yourself! Burakoam thanks for letting us know, I was wondering x

[purple]

I sold or gave away some stuff but also got lazy about selling things so that's why I still have a pram.

The cot was shoved under our bed as I still thought we might have another. I kept my ergo carrier as I was still attached to it as I loved wearing DS2. I have cloth nappies too but that was because I was too lazy to sell them. I think the elastic was stuffed in a lot of them and I half fixed it so I should try to finish the job.

I'm looking a Valco Snap Ultra which just happens to come in purple :) I should probably try it out at Baby Bunting sometime to see if I like it. I'm sure there are better prams but I'm also trying not too spend much as this is definitely our last baby (unless there is a surprise in the future haha).

I went looking through my baby stuff yesterday and I thought I had some more baby clothes for some reason but I only have size 1 blue wondersuits. It will be the wrong season for me to use them. I had some cute favourites my SIL returned but I have no idea where they went now.

[Burakoam]

Had an emergency the other day that is pretty gross even for these forums but long story Short I ended up in ER and because baby hadn't been seen since 8 weeks they did an ultrasound to check on 'her'. I use the marks because I'm having a particularly hard time at the minute. It's like I'm in the denial phase and I'm sure that's what it is. I just feel like I am pregnant with a boy. It doesn't feel real. Maybe it's because with the others I always saw their girl parts so I knew they were girls when I was told they were girls. only being told it's a girl with blood results seems to mess up that acceptance part for me maybe until it's confirmed in 18 days. Hope it hits me then.

The tech and PA didn't help because the tech referred to baby as a HE and the doctor referred to baby as a He too and i i bit my tongue because I didn't want to be rude but I corrected him and said blood test says girl and even then he still said he or she wouldn't all out call it a girl.. I watched that screen super intensely and I sure as hell didn't see anything that would make me say boy but maybe I missed it..maybe they just don't like to say 'it' but even when I told them the gender it still got both from them like wtf...

Anyways baby was cute. I swore tiny for 13 weeks but no because baby actually measures 13 weeks 6 days when I was only 13 weeks and 2 days... had her butt clear up in the air I swear she was bent in half lol... she is also super low and they didn't have any concerns but I thought the placenta was just ridiculously huge compared to plast placentas... not sure if that's a thing..

[Cinss]

Arent you having an NT scan Burakoam? Is that a gender scan you have booked in 18 days?

Glad eveything looked ok with bub when you went to ED. Sounds like a cheeky bub, bending over like that making it hard for you to see.

[Lissastick]

I had a dream last night that I got a blood test and the results said, "Congratulations, you're having a GIRL". Just like that. And I know the results don't really look like that.

I'm getting my test on Halloween. That dream felt like a tease to me because I just know it's a boy. My son keeps saying the baby is a boy and calling it a he. It feels like a punch in the stomach every time I hear him say that.

Of course, I still have hope that he is wrong! He guessed wrong about my friend's baby!

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[Burakoam]

No I had to forsake my nt scan for insurance to cover the blood test. Which it did thankfully, no out of pocket costs...in 18 days I have an elective ultrasound to see baby, bond and confirm gender

[Burakoam]

Lissa maybe it's a good sign he guessed. It if he has a history of being wrong! Just to give you a little bit of hope (but not so much I break your heart if it's wrong). I had a dream the night before I took a pregnancy test that I got a positive pregnancy test... sometimes but not always dreams can be prophetic!

[jenren]

I had a dream last night that I got a blood test and the results said, "Congratulations, you're having a GIRL". Just like that. And I know the results don't really look like that.

I'm getting my test on Halloween. That dream felt like a tease to me because I just know it's a boy. My son keeps saying the baby is a boy and calling it a he. It feels like a punch in the stomach every time I hear him say that.

Of course, I still have hope that he is wrong! He guessed wrong about my friend's baby!

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My 5 yr old insists this baby is a girl. Refuses to even consider a brother. My baby is a confirmed boy. Lots of people say that children are good at predicting but mine sure isn't lol. There is still hope for you ;)

On a side note my son is definitely not excited about having a brother. He flat out told me he doesn't want a brother and insists the baby is a girl... poor thing.

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[Girlieplease]

Had an emergency the other day that is pretty gross even for these forums but long story Short I ended up in ER and because baby hadn't been seen since 8 weeks they did an ultrasound to check on 'her'. I use the marks because I'm having a particularly hard time at the minute. It's like I'm in the denial phase and I'm sure that's what it is. I just feel like I am pregnant with a boy. It doesn't feel real. Maybe it's because with the others I always saw their girl parts so I knew they were girls when I was told they were girls. only being told it's a girl with blood results seems to mess up that acceptance part for me maybe until it's confirmed in 18 days. Hope it hits me then.

The tech and PA didn't help because the tech referred to baby as a HE and the doctor referred to baby as a He too and i i bit my tongue because I didn't want to be rude but I corrected him and said blood test says girl and even then he still said he or she wouldn't all out call it a girl.. I watched that screen super intensely and I sure as hell didn't see anything that would make me say boy but maybe I missed it..maybe they just don't like to say 'it' but even when I told them the gender it still got both from them like wtf...

Anyways baby was cute. I swore tiny for 13 weeks but no because baby actually measures 13 weeks 6 days when I was only 13 weeks and 2 days... had her butt clear up in the air I swear she was bent in half lol... she is also super low and they didn't have any concerns but I thought the placenta was just ridiculously huge compared to plast placentas... not sure if that's a thing..

My goodness am sure you don't know what to think. I would be so hurt by this, they are so insensitive! Hope you get a definitive answer soon so you can try to get your head around this all! X

[Girlieplease]

My friend read research which said pregnant woman were really good at predicting the gender of their unborn babies, it's ridiculous high, exception was in cases were they had a strong gender preference, apparently it interferes with natural intuition.

I hope you dream is true Lissastick. For me dreams are just a way of processing worry and understanding what is going on for us, so dreams represent an outworking of our anxieties as opposed to having any predictive value, when will you find out? X

[Magical22]

Yay 12 weeks for me today!!!!! [emoji1405]


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[purple]

Yay Magical!!! When is your NT scan?

[Magical22]

Yay Magical!!! When is your NT scan?

Tuesday [emoji322][emoji322][emoji322]


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[Cinss]

I had a Dr appointment yesterday just to go over my morphology scan, everything was great, now there is nothing happening for another month when ill have to go back to get a referal for my next gtt.

So im just going to start looking at clothes and stuff I suppose, start stock piling everything again. Even though I think its probably smarter to wait for new year sales but that is leaving it really late isnt it?

[Magical22]

I had a Dr appointment yesterday just to go over my morphology scan, everything was great, now there is nothing happening for another month when ill have to go back to get a referal for my next gtt.

So im just going to start looking at clothes and stuff I suppose, start stock piling everything again. Even though I think its probably smarter to wait for new year sales but that is leaving it really late isnt it?

Sounds like I plan.

Nah new year sales, if you mean the after Christmas Boxing Day sales we have hear in Australia that will be plenty of time. [emoji846]


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[Cinss]

Hopefully there is some money left after Christmas haha im in Australia too 😆

[Throwaway_panther]

So far my pregnancies are almost identical. With my son, I was only really nauseated most of the time and threw up just once. This time, SAME thing. Super nauseated, threw up once. It seems like my food aversions are worse this time, but I don't think so. With my son I only wanted one or two things in the first trimester and that's ALL I ate! It's the same now, they are just different things. I noticed that I am craving more sweet things this time than with my son. But, I refuse to believe that has anything to do with the sex of the baby.

As I am still quite convinced that I am having another boy.
It definitely doesn't! -- you just described my pregnancy with my daughter to a tee.

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[Throwaway_panther]

I totally agree with you burk. You can't compare someone having say 2b 1g getting a 3rd boy or someone getting the same gender 2nd time round with having your 4th of one gender when all you want is an opposite, and one would make you the happiest person alive. Yes I'm sure they feel dissapointment but it's not on the same level and I can totally get your frusteration. The only people who can truly understand is some in the same boat with 4+ of the same gender and fortunately (or unfortunately for you) that's is actually a rarety. To get 4 of one gender when all you want is one opposite is more than unlucky, it's pure torture. My heart's breaking.

I had to leave the forum (as I anticipate I will again) when I was having dd3 (failed sway) because I felt people were so condecending and offensive with what I'm sure we're well meaning comments. And I agree it's total b.s. when people sway to within an inch of their life and get an opposite when others don't sway or half arsed away and get what they want first time. I wish i knew why. I wish i could say something to comfort you but I know I can't as nothing will work. Know you are not alone and you have my deepest empathy and thoughts xxx
I'm sorry, I probably just gave you the same sort of thoughts that you hate. I just feel for you (and buro) because I KNOW I will be the same. I only had the one gender disappointment, but I was suicidal the entire time. Speaking with my therapist multiple times a week. Full on was in front of Planned Parenthood because I did not want that fetus.

I and I think others only offer platitudes because what else can we say? :( It's a knife you have to have stuck in your side for months, then the scar never heals. That's a horrible pain, and I wish you and Buro and anyone else never had to go through it.

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[Throwaway_panther]

My friend read research which said pregnant woman were really good at predicting the gender of their unborn babies, it's ridiculous high, exception was in cases were they had a strong gender preference, apparently it interferes with natural intuition.

I hope you dream is true Lissastick. For me dreams are just a way of processing worry and understanding what is going on for us, so dreams represent an outworking of our anxieties as opposed to having any predictive value, when will you find out? X
Both my husband and I thought we were having a girl immediately after BFP -- I just was dreading one and assumed life would continue to be cruel to me. A week before our anatomy scan I had the most vivid dream of going to the scan and being told boy -- it was so strong it shook my assurance that it was a girl. But it was a girl afterall.

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[purple]

18 week bump photo :) It actually looks smaller than I was with DS2 but bigger than with DS1.
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[Magical22]

18 week bump photo :) It actually looks smaller than I was with DS2 but bigger than with DS1.
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Very cute and love the purple shirt very suitable purple [emoji846]


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[purple]

I just need to find some purple maternity tops now :) the range of maternity clothes out is terrible. I'm sure there was more when I had the boys!

[Cinss]

Love the bump Purple! I will upload my 20 week one tomorrow 😁

[Brandles]

Such a cute bump Purple!!! I will try to post a pic soon too!!

Had my NT scan last week and was measuring just a few days ahead. I was 12w6d here and measuring 13w2d- She looks so big and developed to me. The scan took forever. She was being stubborn and was laying a little on her side. so we weren't getting great shots for the tech or for the nub. I have so many boy names picked out as I was sure this was a boy- I can't think of one single girl name I am in love with.

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We haven't told our kids yet... We need to soon, because my bump is bumpin' lol, but hubby is still not digesting the fact that I am pregnant- let alone the fact it's a girl. Our 7 year old has been pleading for a baby brother for the past couple years- He just mentioned it again a few days ago and I know he's going to struggle with the news.

[Cinss]

Very cute Brandles, looks like she might be sucking her thumb

[All*blue*everything]

Hi, im expecting baby number 5, not sure of due date yet think it could be 31st may x we have 4 boys I've basically seduced hubby into a 5th and am praying this will be our girl as it will be our last x these 1st few weeks really drag..im so envious of u all bring further along but also want to treasure each week with it being my last time..my family thinks im expecting twins as my belly is so huge, we have a private us next sat to check all is well. X


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[Magical22]

Hi, im expecting baby number 5, not sure of due date yet think it could be 31st may x we have 4 boys I've basically seduced hubby into a 5th and am praying this will be our girl as it will be our last x these 1st few weeks really drag..im so envious of u all bring further along but also want to treasure each week with it being my last time..my family thinks im expecting twins as my belly is so huge, we have a private us next sat to check all is well. X


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Welcome [emoji846] FX for a pink bundle!


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[Girlieplease]

You are sooooooo tiny purple, cute bump!

Brandies lovely scan photo.

Welcome all blue, am not so far ahead of you, am due on the 13 of may by lmp but I know I ovulated late so more like 19 th of may.

Told my mum I was pregnant today as I am staying with her while my dh fixes parts of our house getting ready for sale. It did not go well, I told her in the hope that she would help me out a bit more and because I feel so awful. She just kept saying " you cannot be" and " are you sure" and her legs were shaking and she said it was just the shock, she spent the rest of the day making negative comments, not outright so, as I told her I did not wish to hear negativity. She would say things like, this will impact on where you can move because you will have less money on maternity leave and in front of my children when we were getting into the car " lucky mum only has three children, she has no room in the car for any more" she also asked me a few minutes after I told her had I watched a documentary on downs syndrome? It annoyed me because with ds2 due to an error on the part of hospital we were told ds2 had down syndrome, it was a very stressful fee weeks waiting for harmony results! I feel a bit miffed, my brother' s wife is pregnant and there is so much joy about their first baby. Sorry for moaning! X

[Cinss]

Welcome All*blue*everything 🌸

[Cinss]

33335

20 week bump

[purple]

You are sooooooo tiny purple, cute bump!


I keep getting told this but it is because I'm tall so lots of room for it to hide at the moment.

Sorry your mum didn't respond well to your pregnancy :(

[purple]

Cute belly cinss :)

[All*blue*everything]

My belly is huge!! This was 5wk pic!
http://i.imgur.com/ReQCMAL.jpg

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[All*blue*everything]

You are sooooooo tiny purple, cute bump!

Brandies lovely scan photo.

Welcome all blue, am not so far ahead of you, am due on the 13 of may by lmp but I know I ovulated late so more like 19 th of may.

Told my mum I was pregnant today as I am staying with her while my dh fixes parts of our house getting ready for sale. It did not go well, I told her in the hope that she would help me out a bit more and because I feel so awful. She just kept saying " you cannot be" and " are you sure" and her legs were shaking and she said it was just the shock, she spent the rest of the day making negative comments, not outright so, as I told her I did not wish to hear negativity. She would say things like, this will impact on where you can move because you will have less money on maternity leave and in front of my children when we were getting into the car " lucky mum only has three children, she has no room in the car for any more" she also asked me a few minutes after I told her had I watched a documentary on downs syndrome? It annoyed me because with ds2 due to an error on the part of hospital we were told ds2 had down syndrome, it was a very stressful fee weeks waiting for harmony results! I feel a bit miffed, my brother' s wife is pregnant and there is so much joy about their first baby. Sorry for moaning! X

So sorry that she has been like that i never understand how people can't be excited to get more grandkids , she should feel the same if someone's having their 1st or 10th!
I had a few negative comments with my second third and fourth babies as they were close together and my family worried how i would cope..this time its been a bigger gap so everyone is excited and supportive which is a nice change!...

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[Brandles]

Congrats and welcome all blue!! Your belly is cute- mine was bigger in the beginning with all the bloat and then it seemed like it wasn't growing for a while- and at 14 weeks the bump is back!! Fingers crossed for a pink bundle.

Cinss, your belly is darling... looks almost identical to mine on most days!!

Hugs Girlieplease! Sorry about your moms reaction and comments. :(

[3'sacharm]

Well it would appear I'm one of the fortunate ones and my sway has worked! Praying everything continues as planned with this pregnancy. Will post a 16 week bump picture soon xx

[Brandles]

Yay! Can't wait to see your bump 3'sacharm!!!

[Burakoam]

Charm you are perfect and without a doubt in my mind with your kind words and heart did deserve a daughter this time. Not because you had two boys first!! But still deserving. I am thrilled for you and hope you enjoy buying pink :)

[Girlieplease]

33335

20 week bump

So neat, am about that size at 10 weeks! X

[Girlieplease]

Well it would appear I'm one of the fortunate ones and my sway has worked! Praying everything continues as planned with this pregnancy. Will post a 16 week bump picture soon xx

Fantastic news, congratulations! X

[Girlieplease]

Anyone any thoughts or reflections on the best way to find out the gender? What I mean is how you want to be told. We are going to find out the gender because my dd so wants I sister, we are going to find out what it is and then tell the children am pregnant. But am not sure if I want to find out via the result of the harmony or viaa scan. We had to get the harmony done with ds2, due to a whole mistake by the hospital. Anyway, the consultant how did the harmony said he would phone with the results but because it was good news he sent an email. I am not sure if it's another boy that I want to get that news via an email? On the other hand I will probably be at home and can get upset it I want to without been in public. On the other hand would if be better to hear the news from a scan when I can see the baby and feel more connected to it, maybe my reaction will be more muted because there are people around and it will have sunk in a bit more before I can get away and be really upset? Any thoughts?

Am quite nervous still as I have not had a scan yet and am nearly 10 weeks, keep thinking maybe it's a mmc, I had a scan with both my boys by this stage and with my dd I knew nothing and was very naive about what could go wrong! X o

[3'sacharm]

Not the best picture/outfit to be wearing for a bump pic but you get the idea. It's still varying so much in size from day to day x
16 weeks
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[Magical22]

Not the best picture/outfit to be wearing for a bump pic but you get the idea. It's still varying so much in size from day to day x
16 weeks
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Cute bump!! So so happy for you being team pink!!!

I have my NT 12 week scan today in 8 hours, very keen to see Bub but nervous about the gender getting a good nub shot and obsessing for the next few weeks!! [emoji51] I keep telling myself not to look but I know I will.


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[All*blue*everything]

Anyone any thoughts or reflections on the best way to find out the gender? What I mean is how you want to be told. We are going to find out the gender because my dd so wants I sister, we are going to find out what it is and then tell the children am pregnant. But am not sure if I want to find out via the result of the harmony or viaa scan. We had to get the harmony done with ds2, due to a whole mistake by the hospital. Anyway, the consultant how did the harmony said he would phone with the results but because it was good news he sent an email. I am not sure if it's another boy that I want to get that news via an email? On the other hand I will probably be at home and can get upset it I want to without been in public. On the other hand would if be better to hear the news from a scan when I can see the baby and feel more connected to it, maybe my reaction will be more muted because there are people around and it will have sunk in a bit more before I can get away and be really upset? Any thoughts?

Am quite nervous still as I have not had a scan yet and am nearly 10 weeks, keep thinking maybe it's a mmc, I had a scan with both my boys by this stage and with my dd I knew nothing and was very naive about what could go wrong! X o
There was so much pressure at my last scan ( where we found out it was our 4th boy) that it completely ruined it for me i was getting palpitations from the stress before we even got there...so many people hoping it was finally a girl...im tempted this time to nit going out til the birth at least then I will just be so relieved to finally have my baby safely in my arms I won't be disappointed if it is a boy. Go with what feels right in your heart. I think if u saw the baby 1st and was just relieved that all was ok. If your worried about your reaction maybe get them to write it down so you and your family could look at home together x

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[All*blue*everything]

Hey ladies don't be shy, join the group if your due in March April and May 2017.

Cinss - 1st March - didn't sway - hoping for a boy - having a girl ❤

Kellbell827 - 10th March - swayed girl - having a girl ❤

Purple - 11th March - swayed girl - having a girl ❤

Jensy - 15th March - swayed girl - having a boy 💙

Alr7991 - 17th March - swayed girl -

Nessa84 - 18th March - swayed girl -

Jenren - 23rd March - didn't sway - hoping for a girl -

3'sacharm - 30th March - swayed girl - having a girl ❤

GMarie - 1st April - didn't sway - hoping for a boy -

Baby2016baby - 1st April - swayed boy - having a girl ❤

Rubyroo83 - 7th April - ivf - having a girl ❤

Burakoam - 8th April - swayed boy - having a girl ❤

Brandles - 8th April - didn't sway - hoping for a girl - having a girl ❤

Magical22 - 20th April - didn't sway - hoping for a girl -

Jdd1017 - end April - swayed girl -

Squigglepink - 5th May - swayed girl -

Girlieplease - 13th May - swayed girl -

Lissastick - 15th May - swayed girl -

All*blue*everything - 31st May - swayed girl -
I didn't sway...just prayed!

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[Magical22]

NT scan all went well Bub is nice and healthy. [emoji1360]


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[Cinss]

NT scan all went well Bub is nice and healthy. [emoji1360]


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Thats fantastic! Any clues?

[Magical22]

No so frustrating no nub shot photos that I could see and by policy she couldn't mention anything about gender. I thought I saw a girl nub during the scan but want sure, but she also referred to babies foot as 'his' foot once but after I said 'he' asking something. So I have no clue... [emoji17]


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[3'sacharm]

At my NT scan the sonographer asked what we already had and despite the girly nub, he made a comment about it being likely to be another boy!x

[purple]

Congrats 3'sacharm!!! It was pretty obvious from the nub but so exciting to be confirmed!

Sorry you didn't get a clear nub shot magical but it is awesome bub is looking healthy!! Hoping it was a girl nub you saw :)

[Magical22]

Looks like boy #3 is on the way [emoji170]


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[Lissastick]

My friend read research which said pregnant woman were really good at predicting the gender of their unborn babies, it's ridiculous high, exception was in cases were they had a strong gender preference, apparently it interferes with natural intuition.

I hope you dream is true Lissastick. For me dreams are just a way of processing worry and understanding what is going on for us, so dreams represent an outworking of our anxieties as opposed to having any predictive value, when will you find out? X
I have a history of predictive dreams that have actually come true. But, when I am pregnant, they are not straight forward.

I am getting the test on the 31st and the results a few days later. Seems like forever!!

I'm so nervous to find out, though!!

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[Cinss]

Looks like boy #3 is on the way [emoji170]


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How? Is it confirmed?

[Lissastick]

Both my husband and I thought we were having a girl immediately after BFP -- I just was dreading one and assumed life would continue to be cruel to me. A week before our anatomy scan I had the most vivid dream of going to the scan and being told boy -- it was so strong it shook my assurance that it was a girl. But it was a girl afterall.

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I thought this was a boy as soon as I got my BFP too. That's why I am so certain that it's a boy.

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[Burakoam]

Magical, did you get gender confirmed after all?

Lissa glad to see you pop up! How are you feeling?

[Magical22]

Yesterday I had my NT scan and they couldn't say anything by policy. But today I had my 13 week scan with my obgyn and she said it was a boy. I was told DS2 was a boy at 13 weeks and they where right with him.

Having a tough day today, had a big cry after my appt I'm at work now trying to hold it together but it's hard. That's it for me and babies so no chance of me ever having a daughter which breaks my heart. [emoji174]


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[Cinss]

Im sorry Magical, I wish you had gotten your girl this time 😔

[jenren]

So sorry magical. This is my last baby too. I'm mostly at peace with never having a girl but some days it sneaks up and I get a little down :(

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161012/2e69caed27f4b9f32ab9e01cd0031200.jpg

17 weeks today

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[Girlieplease]

So sorry magical, sending hugs. Be gentle on yourself x

[Girlieplease]

So sorry magical. This is my last baby too. I'm mostly at peace with never having a girl but some days it sneaks up and I get a little down :(

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161012/2e69caed27f4b9f32ab9e01cd0031200.jpg

17 weeks today

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Such a neat bump! X

[Magical22]

So sorry magical. This is my last baby too. I'm mostly at peace with never having a girl but some days it sneaks up and I get a little down :(

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161012/2e69caed27f4b9f32ab9e01cd0031200.jpg

17 weeks today

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Gorgeous [emoji846]


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[Magical22]

Thanks ladies [emoji846]


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[purple]

Nice bump Jenren :)

Sorry Magical... I'm still hoping your ob was wrong and maybe they just had a lucky guess last time.

[Cinss]

Love your bump Jenren.

[jdd1017]

I'm so sorry Magical!!!

We had our NT test today as well and found out we are having boy #3. She wouldn't confirm it 100% but it was crystal clear. I was tearing up after the sono when I was in the waiting room, waiting to see my OB. I managed to hold it together until the second I got out of the office and then I sobbed the whole way home. Of course we had family pictures tonight, so I had to pull it together again and try to cover up my swollen, red eyes and nose. Then the second pics were done I bawled all over again. There are no words that my friends or family can say to make me feel better, no one else I am close with has gone through this as well. They either have one of each or all girls, or only have 1 kid. My husband says we can have 1 more but at this point I can't even process the thought of having more. I know if we have another it will just be another boy, and I am not sure that I want 4 boys. I know this sounds awful, but I don't even want this baby anymore. I know I am not going to bond with him during my pregnancy. All I can hope for is that I feel something for him once he is born. I am terrified he will always be a reminder of the daughter I never had.[emoji26] I wish gender disappointment wasn't such a taboo subject to talk about. Everyone keeps saying "well as long as he is healthy it doesn't matter right". They don't understand. My heart is broken.[emoji17]

Here is the potty shot we got today.


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[Magical22]

I'm so sorry Magical!!!

We had our NT test today as well and found out we are having boy #3. She wouldn't confirm it 100% but it was crystal clear. I was tearing up after the sono when I was in the waiting room, waiting to see my OB. I managed to hold it together until the second I got out of the office and then I sobbed the whole way home. Of course we had family pictures tonight, so I had to pull it together again and try to cover up my swollen, red eyes and nose. Then the second pics were done I bawled all over again. There are no words that my friends or family can say to make me feel better, no one else I am close with has gone through this as well. They either have one of each or all girls, or only have 1 kid. My husband says we can have 1 more but at this point I can't even process the thought of having more. I know if we have another it will just be another boy, and I am not sure that I want 4 boys. I know this sounds awful, but I don't even want this baby anymore. I know I am not going to bond with him during my pregnancy. All I can hope for is that I feel something for him once he is born. I am terrified he will always be a reminder of the daughter I never had.[emoji26] I wish gender disappointment wasn't such a taboo subject to talk about. Everyone keeps saying "well as long as he is healthy it doesn't matter right". They don't understand. My heart is broken.[emoji17]

Here is the potty shot we got today.


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Jdd I'm so very sorry, i could of written word for word of what you have just said, except there is no way my husband will have another child. I feel surrounded by pigeon pairs or families with at least one of each, yesterday I just felt like the biggest joke. I have my nieces 1st birthday Saturday which I know will be pink central and I'm not sure I can go I might make something up.

I feel a tiny bit better then I did yesterday where I cried all day, I'm still on the verge of it today but I've told a few people and they have been fantastic!

I've been trying to focus on things to make me feel better this afternoon I'm going to go for a quick shop and get some cute blue items. I feel I need to get excited about this baby and that might help. Part of me wishes he was ready to be born now because as soon as he's in my arms I know all the GD will go away.

Seems like we are on the same journey so feel free to PM anytime if you need to chat.

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[Burakoam]

JDD you may not have anyone in real life.. but you have me. I will always cherish your kindness to me during some of my darkest moments of GD. If you need to vent or ask anything, I am only a message away

[Magical22]

JDD you may not have anyone in real life.. but you have me. I will always cherish your kindness to me during some of my darkest moments of GD. If you need to vent or ask anything, I am only a message away

How are you going Hun? And how is Baby?


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[Cinss]

Jdd you cant see gender from potty shot at 12 weeks both boys and girls have parts that stick out its the nub, did you get a side nub shot?

[jdd1017]

Jdd you cant see gender from potty shot at 12 weeks both boys and girls have parts that stick out its the nub, did you get a side nub shot?

That's what I went into the sono thinking, I truly did not expect it to be so crystal clear. I wasn't even going to say anything about looking for the gender to the tech, bc I didn't think they would even want to try to look. But she pretty much all but said it was a boy. I do have a nub shot and now that I'm looking at that more closely, even it is very obvious[emoji17] 33384 Here is a different potty shot that looks even more boyish. 33385


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[jdd1017]

Jdd I'm so very sorry, i could of written word for word of what you have just said, except there is no way my husband will have another child. I feel surrounded by pigeon pairs or families with at least one of each, yesterday I just felt like the biggest joke. I have my nieces 1st birthday Saturday which I know will be pink central and I'm not sure I can go I might make something up.

I feel a tiny bit better then I did yesterday where I cried all day, I'm still on the verge of it today but I've told a few people and they have been fantastic!

I've been trying to focus on things to make me feel better this afternoon I'm going to go for a quick shop and get some cute blue items. I feel I need to get excited about this baby and that might help. Part of me wishes he was ready to be born now because as soon as he's in my arms I know all the GD will go away.

Seems like we are on the same journey so feel free to PM anytime if you need to chat.

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http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161013/6fd3241470e312bda56d6c821e56c960.png


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Thank you Magical, that means a lot!! I can't imagine being at a birthday party for a girl right now. It would be torture. I doubt anyone would blame you if you made up an excuse not to go.

I am going to cope the same way as you...go shopping lol! I had planned all along to re-do our nursery, knowing that if this baby was a boy I would need to do some shopping and get some new things to to get excited. Those blankets you posted are cute.

My husband tried to be understanding tonight, as I was hysterically crying most of the night, but he got upset when I said I don't have any feelings for this baby. I'm sure it is hard for him to hear me say that, but he has no idea what it is like. He has always said he "only wanted sons" and now he's getting his wish. I'm trying not to resent him for it. The way I have been crying you would think someone died, but in a weird way it sort of feels like someone did.


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[jdd1017]

JDD you may not have anyone in real life.. but you have me. I will always cherish your kindness to me during some of my darkest moments of GD. If you need to vent or ask anything, I am only a message away

Thank you Burakoam!! I feel like I am turning this board into a depressing whine fest lol, so I will prob message you and Magical at some time. Do you still feel extreme sadness or has the pain eased a bit?


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[Cinss]

Jdd not sure if that is the nub? They dont usually stick up at that angle. Will you have a gender scan or wait for morphology to confirm?

[3'sacharm]

Jdd not sure if that is the nub? They dont usually stick up at that angle. Will you have a gender scan or wait for morphology to confirm?

I was thinking the same... What at first appears to be stacking, looks like it could be cord as there's a similar pattern higher up the abdo near belly button??! Not to raise your hopes but potty shots are very unreliable at this stage - did you say how far you were actually measuring?? Sorry if you did, I've just finished nights!! Big hugs to you, I felt such anguish with my 2nd boy having wanted a girl from the beginning; the only thing I think that prevented such strong feelings with my 3rd boy was the late pregnancy loss of my 2nd.xx

[All*blue*everything]

That's what I went into the sono thinking, I truly did not expect it to be so crystal clear. I wasn't even going to say anything about looking for the gender to the tech, bc I didn't think they would even want to try to look. But she pretty much all but said it was a boy. I do have a nub shot and now that I'm looking at that more closely, even it is very obvious[emoji17] 33384 Here is a different potty shot that looks even more boyish. 33385


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I was told gender of one of my sons at 11wks , it can be really obvious even at this stage x so sorry for u from a mum of 4 boys x

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[Burakoam]

Jdd i think MAYBE you still have a slight chance that the chord is obstructing a girlie nub..i know the testicles take a while longer to develop but normally the stacking seems to look more rounded at the bottom but yours looks like a straight line (typically girlie at 12-13 weeks gestation) but with a possible penis on top of it...There is a small chance its chord that is bent from higher up and going between baby's legs...but to be on the safe side i would prepare to hear boy and if you do hear girl at 16-20 weeks then that wouldnt surprise me entirely. However i think if its really a boy your son may just be what they call an early riser and thats very possible. It does happen.

[jdd1017]

Jdd not sure if that is the nub? They dont usually stick up at that angle. Will you have a gender scan or wait for morphology to confirm?

We will have an anatomy scan (I'm assuming that is the same as a morphology scan?) between 18-20 weeks.


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[jdd1017]

I was thinking the same... What at first appears to be stacking, looks like it could be cord as there's a similar pattern higher up the abdo near belly button??! Not to raise your hopes but potty shots are very unreliable at this stage - did you say how far you were actually measuring?? Sorry if you did, I've just finished nights!! Big hugs to you, I felt such anguish with my 2nd boy having wanted a girl from the beginning; the only thing I think that prevented such strong feelings with my 3rd boy was the late pregnancy loss of my 2nd.xx

I was 12 weeks and 1 day. She measured baby twice and one was spot on and the other was 12 and 5. If the sono tech wasn't so certain it was a boy I could prob have talked myself into thinking MAYBE I still have a chance...but there was pretty much no doubt in her mind[emoji26]


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[XXforhubby]

I was 12 weeks and 1 day. She measured baby twice and one was spot on and the other was 12 and 5. If the sono tech wasn't so certain it was a boy I could prob have talked myself into thinking MAYBE I still have a chance...but there was pretty much no doubt in her mind[emoji26]


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I don't want to give you false hope, but even 12w5d is still too early! All of my boys had visible scrotum and penis at 13w+. With my DS2, my NT scan was at 12w3d and there wasn't clear boy parts visible. I think that is why my DH GD was so bad with him, because he had hope he would be a she.

My point is, both boys and girls look the same at this stage. I would expect to hear blue at your morphology scan, but know you still have a chance!



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[3'sacharm]

Agree with xxhubbyxx and as I said to some one else, somewhere on here, the sonographer at my scan told me my baby looked like another boy, despite the long flat nub and later gestation of 13+1. He did later say it *could* still be a girl and that it was too early to tell, but obviously I've had it confirmed that baby is a girl....

Defo go in prepared to hear boy but I wouldn't be going it to buy blue just yet based on a scan so early on x

[Cinss]

We will have an anatomy scan (I'm assuming that is the same as a morphology scan?) between 18-20 weeks.


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Yeah same thing, they check all the organs aswell as gender. I was pretty much in the same situation as you, I was told gender at my 12 week scan but waited for the next one to confirm, turned out to be correct from the 12 week one.

[jenren]

I'm sad for everyone who is experiencing gender disappointment with this pregnancy. I feel like there are quite a few of us :(

My midwife told me today that my weight was OK at the moment but I needed to slow down. I was like wtf??? I've only gained 10 lbs and I'm almost halfway.
All I could think was gee thanks...

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[Magical22]

This GD sucks!!! I can't believe I will never have a little girl!!!

How are you going today JDD?


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[Girlieplease]

I was thinking that as well jenren, I think there are only about 3 members of the group who have gotten their gd. I think there are only maybe 4 or 5 left to find out. Seems to be an unusual time on gd site re recent results.

[Girlieplease]

This GD sucks!!! I can't believe I will never have a little girl!!!

How are you going today JDD?


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So sorry magical, x o

[Girlieplease]

I was 12 weeks and 1 day. She measured baby twice and one was spot on and the other was 12 and 5. If the sono tech wasn't so certain it was a boy I could prob have talked myself into thinking MAYBE I still have a chance...but there was pretty much no doubt in her mind[emoji26]


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I agree with the other ladies, it is much too early. I think you should prepare yourself to hear blue but it may not be the case. Am keeping everything crossed for you that they are wrong and it is a pink one x o

[jdd1017]

I was thinking that as well jenren, I think there are only about 3 members of the group who have gotten their gd. I think there are only maybe 4 or 5 left to find out. Seems to be an unusual time on gd site re recent results.

Yea it does seem like a high number of sway opposites in our group!!!


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[jdd1017]

This GD sucks!!! I can't believe I will never have a little girl!!!

How are you going today JDD?


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Oh the GD is awful!! I knew it was going to be hard if I heard boy, but I had no idea it would be this hard! I haven't cried since 9 this morning, which is surprising. I woke up at 1:30 AM and reality hit me and I couldn't fall back asleep and sobbed for about 3 hours on the couch, trying not to wake my family up lol. I am hoping with each passing day it will get easier, but it is going to be so difficult to hear people react to the news because so many people knew how badly I wanted a girl.

How about you Magical? Getting any better?


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[Magical22]

Oh the GD is awful!! I knew it was going to be hard if I heard boy, but I had no idea it would be this hard! I haven't cried since 9 this morning, which is surprising. I woke up at 1:30 AM and reality hit me and I couldn't fall back asleep and sobbed for about 3 hours on the couch, trying not to wake my family up lol. I am hoping with each passing day it will get easier, but it is going to be so difficult to hear people react to the news because so many people knew how badly I wanted a girl.

How about you Magical? Getting any better?


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I think it comes in waves, some moments I'm ok others not so much. It all just feels so unfair I don't understand how people who don't care what they have get Pigeion pairs so effortlessly I feel like I'm surrounded by them. I spent thousands of dollars trying HT which failed and failed again naturally, just feel like a failure.

I'm in a bit of pain the last 24 hours they think I might have gallstones or a gall bladder infection. I've had blood and an ultrasound this morning will see my GP this afternoon. Feels like there's a knife in my lower back.


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[jdd1017]

I think it comes in waves, some moments I'm ok others not so much. It all just feels so unfair I don't understand how people who don't care what they have get Pigeion pairs so effortlessly I feel like I'm surrounded by them. I spent thousands of dollars trying HT which failed and failed again naturally, just feel like a failure.

I'm in a bit of pain the last 24 hours they think I might have gallstones or a gall bladder infection. I've had blood and an ultrasound this morning will see my GP this afternoon. Feels like there's a knife in my lower back.


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Oh no!!! That sounds awful!!! I hope they figure out what is wrong soon and you get to feeling better ASAP!!!


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[Magical22]

As I feel up to it I have been messaging mine and DH family 1 by 1 telling them the news. They have all been really good about it wishing me huge congratulations. I think messaging everyone is a lot easier then telling everyone face to face incase they say something negative without thinking.


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[Magical22]

Talking to DH about my feelings he said I was selfish and reminded me that my sister can't even have kids. Ouch [emoji17]


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[XXforhubby]

Talking to DH about my feelings he said I was selfish and reminded me that my sister can't even have kids. Ouch [emoji17]


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Huge hugs, sweetie! Remember, some people just don't understand GD. It's not that they lack empathy, I think they have a hard time understanding that it is more than just the gender of the baby.

We are all here for you!



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[purple]

Sorry Magical.. that's a bit harsh of your DH :(

[3'sacharm]

I'm sad for everyone who is experiencing gender disappointment with this pregnancy. I feel like there are quite a few of us :(

My midwife told me today that my weight was OK at the moment but I needed to slow down. I was like wtf??? I've only gained 10 lbs and I'm almost halfway.
All I could think was gee thanks...

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Wtf indeed?!! I'm literally a stone heavier than I was at the beginning part of this year, albeit I gain about half a stone just before my bfp and I'm still within the healthy bmi range, but my weight gain is still a bit of a shock to me. If my mw told me that I think I'd cry!! I was weighed at my booking in appt but haven't been since by mw...

Sorry to hear some of you are feeling down/struggling, I don't know why the numbers appear to be so skewed on this due forum :( xx

[baby2016baby]

Hey guys, i have kept away as i felt i was bringing the mood down so im just catching up. Just wanted to say a huge congratulations to those lucky enough to get their dream gender. I hope you cherish every moment xxxxx

And I'm heartbroken to see more people have joined me in getting an opposite. It really is faith shaking. I've been through a few dd boards and there is a very high percentage of opposites, even if everyone waiting gets what they tried for, it's still a poor period. If anyone needs to rant or talk feel free to message me. There will be no judgement and nothing will shock me. I know alot of people have nobody irl who can understands or feels comfortable discussing things with. Nobody knows im pregnant but at 15 weeks i dont think i can last much longer. If it wasent for some people.of this site i honestly dont think i would be here at all, they know who they are, so i know how important support is. I hope every one is keeping well and pregnancy is being kind.

Quick update I've been diagnosed with severe antenatal depression which of course is purely gd. I was lucky enough to be given another scan which my councillor arranged as she thought it may help (after my first disastrous scan) My date got moved by another 4 days (so I've been put back 11 days over 3 scans) so it's obvious my dates were not wrong but baby is not growing as it should be. They are not too worried at this stage. Least I got a picture finally! I honestly still feel crap and i can't see that changing anytime soon. Although I had a tiny glimmer of something yesterday as I had a bad fall onto my tummy and for the first time I was actually worried that I might have hurt her, sadly it didn't last long and was replaced by my usual thoughts :( I'm not sure what the future hold for us but I just wanted to pop by and say I'm thinking of you all xxxx

[Burakoam]

Baby i can say at this point i know you (your heart is so big and ultimately full of compassion and love) and when she is on your chest you will love her so much and no that doesnt mean you will ever truly dull the pain of not having a son but in time she will be just as loved as your other 3 lovelies.

Magical i think your husband means well but yes that was overly harsh. I think the men who loves us often feel that they are responsible for bringing us back to 'reality' when all we really need is for them to hug us and tell us everything will be alright and that they understand. (even if we know they probably dont, just hearing the man or woman we love say those things to us helps tremendously)

JDD i am hoping the tech was wrong and at your anatomy scan you get better news. Really.

Everywhere i look everyone is in agreement sways this year arent what they were in previous years but nobody really seems to want to talk about what may be at the root of all of it. I heard pink was still doing great but i agree to me it seems more 50/50 at this point for pink while blue has been abysmal...and getting blamed on swayers as opposed to thinking since even pink is taking a small hit..which is still a hit..that maybe things need flipped on both sides. All it would take IMO is to look at what things are shared between the two because if you're getting alot of blue with pink and alot of pink with blue there has to be a common denominator..

For anyone that reads this, and i expect i'll have an argument used against me, i would not use pre seed when TTC blue right now. Me, baby, and at least one other who got pink were using pre seed. For my last baby which was also a girl i also used pre seed. It may be a manufacturer issue...things change in 'formulas' all the time and the general public may not be aware of it right away.

[XXforhubby]

I agree with you Burakoam about sways not working. Last year, pink wasn't great but blue was a tad better.

I'm not sure what to think anymore. I have offered up a couple possible suggestions for blue but that seemed to be dismissed. I personally think that following something to a "T" might be where the problem lays. I think it's just too restrictive for both pink and blue. I'm beginning to think a moderation is the way to go. There is something to be said for people following the guidelines, and not doing extra things, that are still getting opposites. Makes no sense to me. I mean people on both sides are having relaxed sways getting opposites as well as people following stricter sways getting opposites.

It could be bad luck, but I don't think so. I have my own thoughts- some I shared briefly in the other thread, but sadly I don't feel comfortable voicing them.



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[Burakoam]

It's alright XX and you can always message me too if you don't wanna voice them publicly, I do have info for you. It not something I really want to make public... so..

Today has been a bad morning. You know at the root of all things for someone who has a gender preference there is usually a reason why. I have thought on it for a few pregnancies now and realize that it's almost 100% the fact my relationship with my mother sucks. Really sucks. This morning she told me in front of my daughters and my father that I ruin everyone's day and do nothing right.

Not the first time I've heard such hateful words come from my mom and truth is I have heard worse. She has emotionally manipulated me in the past promising me safety and protection only to quite literally be the one who hurts me.

i have been in bed crying for hours since she left. This baby is due just a few days after her birthday and I hate that.

I've talked to therapists and doctors for years about my relationship with her but she doesn't see the problem with herself it's all within me. She wishes she never had me and blames me for all the bad things in her life. Says I have ruined her life and her marriage to my father.

Ladies even when your children are grown. When they are adults or god forbid have children of their own even.. please never talk to them that way. Please. It doesn't matter how old your children get it will always break them when you call them names or tease them or say some of the awful things I have mentioned here. No child is ever emotionally or mentally prepared to hear some of the things I have heard from my mothers mouth.

[XXforhubby]

I want to give you a huge hug! I too have a horrid relationship with my mother.

I couldn't agree more. I always stop, breath in, report what occurred, and ask what they can do differently or how they can solve their issue.

I refuse to belittle my children, make them feel less than, or that there is anything wrong with them. I always tell them I love them and that they are perfect the way they are. I may not like the choices they make, but I will always love, like, and except them for who they are. Life will try to mold and shape them, sometimes for good or the bad. I will always be there for them and provide a safe place for them to be who they are, even while they are still figuring it out.

Huge hugs!



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[XXforhubby]

I sent you a PM, Burakoam.



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[jdd1017]

I'm sad for everyone who is experiencing gender disappointment with this pregnancy. I feel like there are quite a few of us :(

My midwife told me today that my weight was OK at the moment but I needed to slow down. I was like wtf??? I've only gained 10 lbs and I'm almost halfway.
All I could think was gee thanks...

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Wow! I would have been so annoyed! I feel like 10 lbs at halfway is pretty dang good!!! My first OB ever told me I was gaining too much weight at my 20 week appt. I promptly switched OBs lol![emoji12] The funny thing was it was coming from an OB who was also pregnant at the time and weighed a good 50 lbs more than me[emoji849]


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[jdd1017]

Talking to DH about my feelings he said I was selfish and reminded me that my sister can't even have kids. Ouch [emoji17]


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They just don't understand at all. It's annoying!! It's like when someone says "well you should just be happy it's a healthy baby". Well duh! Of course that's what I want first and foremost. And of course I should be grateful that I can even have kids when there are people that can't. But you can't help the way you feel and being sad at the loss of the daughter you so badly wanted and never got. My husband was pretty understanding until I told him I didn't want the baby and have no feelings for the baby. I am sure to him it sounded very harsh, but it's frustrating! We should be able to confide to our spouses about our GD☹️


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[jenren]

It's alright XX and you can always message me too if you don't wanna voice them publicly, I do have info for you. It not something I really want to make public... so..

Today has been a bad morning. You know at the root of all things for someone who has a gender preference there is usually a reason why. I have thought on it for a few pregnancies now and realize that it's almost 100% the fact my relationship with my mother sucks. Really sucks. This morning she told me in front of my daughters and my father that I ruin everyone's day and do nothing right.

Not the first time I've heard such hateful words come from my mom and truth is I have heard worse. She has emotionally manipulated me in the past promising me safety and protection only to quite literally be the one who hurts me.

i have been in bed crying for hours since she left. This baby is due just a few days after her birthday and I hate that.

I've talked to therapists and doctors for years about my relationship with her but she doesn't see the problem with herself it's all within me. She wishes she never had me and blames me for all the bad things in her life. Says I have ruined her life and her marriage to my father.

Ladies even when your children are grown. When they are adults or god forbid have children of their own even.. please never talk to them that way. Please. It doesn't matter how old your children get it will always break them when you call them names or tease them or say some of the awful things I have mentioned here. No child is ever emotionally or mentally prepared to hear some of the things I have heard from my mothers mouth.
Omg you should tell her to take a walk. My relationship with my mom is nothing to write home about. We talk a couple times a year but that's it. We have Very Firm boundaries with my parents and don't even talk to dh parents. Like you emotional manipulation was far too common in my childhood and I refuse to let that poison in my children's life. If your mom can't be kind then you don't need that crap in your life and your children definitely should not ever see her treat you that way.
I feel so badly for you as I have definitely dealt with shit like this before. It is so hard :( big hugs

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[jdd1017]

It's alright XX and you can always message me too if you don't wanna voice them publicly, I do have info for you. It not something I really want to make public... so..

Today has been a bad morning. You know at the root of all things for someone who has a gender preference there is usually a reason why. I have thought on it for a few pregnancies now and realize that it's almost 100% the fact my relationship with my mother sucks. Really sucks. This morning she told me in front of my daughters and my father that I ruin everyone's day and do nothing right.

Not the first time I've heard such hateful words come from my mom and truth is I have heard worse. She has emotionally manipulated me in the past promising me safety and protection only to quite literally be the one who hurts me.

i have been in bed crying for hours since she left. This baby is due just a few days after her birthday and I hate that.

I've talked to therapists and doctors for years about my relationship with her but she doesn't see the problem with herself it's all within me. She wishes she never had me and blames me for all the bad things in her life. Says I have ruined her life and her marriage to my father.

Ladies even when your children are grown. When they are adults or god forbid have children of their own even.. please never talk to them that way. Please. It doesn't matter how old your children get it will always break them when you call them names or tease them or say some of the awful things I have mentioned here. No child is ever emotionally or mentally prepared to hear some of the things I have heard from my mothers mouth.

Wow that is awful!! I can't imagine any mother saying that to their children, even if they are adults! I'm so sorry you have that relationship with your mom and that she thinks it's ok to treat you that way! [emoji20]


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[jenren]

Wow! I would have been so annoyed! I feel like 10 lbs at halfway is pretty dang good!!! My first OB ever told me I was gaining too much weight at my 20 week appt. I promptly switched OBs lol![emoji12] The funny thing was it was coming from an OB who was also pregnant at the time and weighed a good 50 lbs more than me[emoji849]


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I only weigh 113. I was shocked when she told me that and very distressed the rest of the day. I went home and looked it up and apparently the average weight gain for 20 weeks in only 5lbs :"(
She even told me to stop eating middle of the night snacks. I told her I am still sick all night and most definitely do not get up to eat!!!

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[jdd1017]

I have never considered going HT because it isn't in the budget, but just for the hell of it I looked into it yesterday. What I found really interesting was that, in one of the case studies they used for a couple that used HT, the man only produced 38% X sperm and the remainder were Y sperm. I was shocked to read this, because I always thought it was 50/50. I have read COUNTLESS times on this site that it is 50/50!! Well, apparently it isn't. I started looking into it more and it seems that there might be a genetic disposition to some men producing more males and some producing more females. I pasted the websites of one of the articles about this. While I do believe the moms condition probably has something to do with the gender of the child, I am starting to wonder if it is more out of our hands than I thought. Part of me felt comfort in finding this out, because I didn't feel like such a failure or like I didn't have a strong enough sway. The other part of me felt despair, that no matter what I do, my husband and I are destined to have boys. Maybe I just need to find myself a new hubby![emoji13][emoji13][emoji13]

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081211121835.htm


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[jdd1017]

I only weigh 113. I was shocked when she told me that and very distressed the rest of the day. I went home and looked it up and apparently the average weight gain for 20 weeks in only 5lbs :"(
She even told me to stop eating middle of the night snacks. I told her I am still sick all night and most definitely do not get up to eat!!!

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Omg you're so tiny!!!! Well if it makes you feel any better I am only 12 weeks and I've gained 5 lbs so apparently I need to "slow it down a bit" too.

Your comment about not waking up in the middle of the night to eat made me laugh. Sorry you're still sick!! That's miserable!!!


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[jenren]

Omg you're so tiny!!!! Well if it makes you feel any better I am only 12 weeks and I've gained 5 lbs so apparently I need to "slow it down a bit" too.

Your comment about not waking up in the middle of the night to eat made me laugh. Sorry you're still sick!! That's miserable!!!


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It's getting better just sick in the evening and at night. I just was perplexed that she assumed I snack all night lol. Is that common???

I personally do think that some of gender has to be due to the father's genetics. I mean my mom very much has a "boy mom personality" but has 6 girls vs 2 boys. Also my dh has all brothers so it isn't too shocking he had all boys... Idk... it makes me feel better to think it is not mostly determined by what I do or don't do

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[Throwaway_panther]

I have never considered going HT because it isn't in the budget, but just for the hell of it I looked into it yesterday. What I found really interesting was that, in one of the case studies they used for a couple that used HT, the man only produced 38% X sperm and the remainder were Y sperm. I was shocked to read this, because I always thought it was 50/50. I have read COUNTLESS times on this site that it is 50/50!! Well, apparently it isn't. I started looking into it more and it seems that there might be a genetic disposition to some men producing more males and some producing more females. I pasted the websites of one of the articles about this. While I do believe the moms condition probably has something to do with the gender of the child, I am starting to wonder if it is more out of our hands than I thought. Part of me felt comfort in finding this out, because I didn't feel like such a failure or like I didn't have a strong enough sway. The other part of me felt despair, that no matter what I do, my husband and I are destined to have boys. Maybe I just need to find myself a new hubby![emoji13][emoji13][emoji13]

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081211121835.htm


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I'm glad you shared this -- I've been alluding to these studies elsewhere on here, and I know we ultimately can't control our husbands and only ourselves, but the rhetoric that WE are more important to the gender is false, which is still supported by science. By definition, swaying is just that -- a sway, or nudge, so I get that. But like XX, I don't feel comfortable discussing this and a lot of other issues on here as much anymore unfortunately.

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[Throwaway_panther]

It's alright XX and you can always message me too if you don't wanna voice them publicly, I do have info for you. It not something I really want to make public... so..

Today has been a bad morning. You know at the root of all things for someone who has a gender preference there is usually a reason why. I have thought on it for a few pregnancies now and realize that it's almost 100% the fact my relationship with my mother sucks. Really sucks. This morning she told me in front of my daughters and my father that I ruin everyone's day and do nothing right.

Not the first time I've heard such hateful words come from my mom and truth is I have heard worse. She has emotionally manipulated me in the past promising me safety and protection only to quite literally be the one who hurts me.

i have been in bed crying for hours since she left. This baby is due just a few days after her birthday and I hate that.

I've talked to therapists and doctors for years about my relationship with her but she doesn't see the problem with herself it's all within me. She wishes she never had me and blames me for all the bad things in her life. Says I have ruined her life and her marriage to my father.

Ladies even when your children are grown. When they are adults or god forbid have children of their own even.. please never talk to them that way. Please. It doesn't matter how old your children get it will always break them when you call them names or tease them or say some of the awful things I have mentioned here. No child is ever emotionally or mentally prepared to hear some of the things I have heard from my mothers mouth.
I'm sure you're probably familiar, but have you looked into resources on narcissism? Your mom sounds like a textbook narcissist. The book "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward is a really good one too.

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[Burakoam]

Very familiar with all of that. There is so much more i dare not go into that would have you screaming from the top of a building that she is a narcissist... In my situation firm boundaries are impossible. Id rather not go into it too much because there are a few on here that would judge me for some of it (rightly so, not saying they are in the wrong) but its stuff that has been done and cannot be changed and so that is that.

For my kids sake, i put up with all of it. Its reaching the point where my oldest is getting older and she is even seeping her nastiness into her life too. Other day there was an argument because i told her to quit calling my oldest a zit face and telling her she is gross. So there is going to come a point very soon where she will lose all of us. Except maybe my middle daughter who i swear thinks my mom can do no wrong. Not sure she ever could to her in any circumstance.

[Burakoam]

Holy crap so jealous of anyone who weighs less than 120 right now... ive literally been eating carrots and veggies and fruit trying to keep my weight gain from getting any worse than it already is...weighed 153 at last appointment.

[jenren]

Very familiar with all of that. There is so much more i dare not go into that would have you screaming from the top of a building that she is a narcissist... In my situation firm boundaries are impossible. Id rather not go into it too much because there are a few on here that would judge me for some of it (rightly so, not saying they are in the wrong) but its stuff that has been done and cannot be changed and so that is that.

For my kids sake, i put up with all of it. Its reaching the point where my oldest is getting older and she is even seeping her nastiness into her life too. Other day there was an argument because i told her to quit calling my oldest a zit face and telling her she is gross. So there is going to come a point very soon where she will lose all of us. Except maybe my middle daughter who i swear thinks my mom can do no wrong. Not sure she ever could to her in any circumstance.
I'm so sorry :( I would flip out of my mom spoke to my kid like that. So so mean. I hope that whatever your situation is it gets better. No one needs that in their life. It is poisonous.

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[jenren]

Holy crap so jealous of anyone who weighs less than 120 right now... ive literally been eating carrots and veggies and fruit trying to keep my weight gain from getting any worse than it already is...weighed 153 at last appointment.
I'm probably much much shorter than you. It isn't fair to compare bodies. You are quite beautiful I am sure of it!!! Women are meant to have curves. My husband tells me I am the most attractive pregnant because I weigh more

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[Burakoam]

im 5'1 so while its entirely possible you are shorter than me im not sure by how much. lol. I am overweight at this point, but i really really appreciate your kindness. Truly. brought a smile to my face.

[jenren]

im 5'1 so while its entirely possible you are shorter than me im not sure by how much. lol. I am overweight at this point, but i really really appreciate your kindness. Truly. brought a smile to my face.
Another shorty like me. Still a slight bit taller but we are close :) I have a sister even shorter than me about your weight and she is so curvy and beautiful. I truly meant what I said!

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[Girlieplease]

So sorry to read some of you have crap relationships with your mother's! Burakoam your amazing to put up with your mother's narcissistic tendencies!

Am so sorry that some of you have felt you cannot share your thoughts on what is possible happening with failed sways. I think that sort of information could be really important to this process. If your right burakoam about the odds been closer to 50 50, then that is nearly equivalent to your chances by doing nothing!
I agree with xxforhubby, I wonder if people are going too extreme with the diet and exercise for pink. Ability to conceive is going down and people are getting frustrated with there inability to get pregnant that they are dropping big sway factors, like timing and that is swaying blue? Also I wonder if length of time on the diet is key to this process for example I have read a fee posts from long term swayers

[Girlieplease]

Who have been on the diet so long, not pregnant and then they go light with the sway or don't sway. They get pregnant and it's a girl. Whereas for others that are only on the diet like less than 6 months maybe if we start loosening up on the diet, cardio and throwing extra attempts in, the overall pattern of maternal deprivation is not long enough, get blue? X

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm glad you shared this -- I've been alluding to these studies elsewhere on here, and I know we ultimately can't control our husbands and only ourselves, but the rhetoric that WE are more important to the gender is false, which is still supported by science. By definition, swaying is just that -- a sway, or nudge, so I get that. But like XX, I don't feel comfortable discussing this and a lot of other issues on here as much anymore unfortunately.

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Ah, glad I just so happened to stumble across this.

You guys are always welcome to bring stuff like this up. This idea that you are having to sneak around behind my back talking in back rooms or something - nah. That simply isn't true. I LOVE to talk and debate about swaying and I would refer you all back to my many posts where I do just that. It is why I keep all the information up about all the different sway tactics - I certainly don't have to do that, I do that because I want you guys to have all the info that I can provide. That's kind of my whole deal, is the free and open exchange of information here.

But at the same time, I do think that you guys simply must accept the fact that you can say whatever and then I have the right (and in fact the responsibility) to respond to them, and unlike all the rest of everyone on here I also write about 200 posts a day and I have to do that FAST and some interpret that as being short. I also sometimes do get a little bit annoyed when you guys don't seem to listen to explanations I have already given, and force me to take time from my children and the people who help me to go over the same thing again and again (for the same person I mean, not for noobs) and it's like they did not listen in the first place. This is not a regular thing, everyone has an off day now and then and I'm sure you can understand I am a human being and not infallible.

The fact is, it HAS indeed been proven to my satisfaction that we are more important to the gender. It is a biological reality that we are the ones who get pregnant, carry a baby for 9 months, feed it for at least another 9-18, and so on. There are a myriad of studies that show this, I've talked about it a jillion times, the scientists who are a hell of a lot smarter than any of us here on the site and have made a lifetime of studying the idea, ALL think this.

At the same time I have made no secret at all whatsoever that men do bring something to the table. The idea that I should then suddenly go around telling everyone, especially blue swayers, that they have literally no hope at all because they can't change anything, and more importantly, that I do not find the facts to be in support of that, that's not going to happen and I think it's a little...not sure of the word here, but a little something...that anyone would suggest that I am in any way being remiss by not doing it that way. I do it that way because I've talked to a lot of people and I think it's the best way to do it. A)I think it's bad for swaying to have that mental attitude and B) I do not believe that to be the case. And C) the idea that I am somehow being remiss/hiding information I don't appreciate, and since that has now been hinted about very openly I"m going to humbly suggest that is a pretty shitty thing considering the many hours I try very hard to help all of you guys. It's easy to take potshots from the outside, but I'm the one who has been here in the trenches this whole time.

EVERYthing that has been mentioned on here I have talked about, just because you personally may not have seen that, doesn't mean that I am somehow hiding information from people or talking in an untrue or misleading manner. It is not rhetoric, it is a belief that is shared by Robert Trivers, Valerie Grant, Satoshi Kanazawa, Elissa Cameron, and Richard Freaking Dawkins (I think that's his middle name LOL)

Re the study that has been referenced, this is something I've posted about numerous times, it was a hypothetical gene that was speculated about by a graduate student that has never been proven. I believe it will never BE proven and I have actually talked to some actual geneticists on Facebook that agree that it was a dumb and misleading study. I have read extensively about the sperm split and men have to make 50-50. You don't have to take my word for it, go ask Dr. Potter or Dr. Braverman or your local high school biology teacher. IT's because their XY cells split in two to make half X and half Y. I have also seen back on Ingender, probably 2 dozen women "have their husband's sperm tested" and it was always 50-50 ish. Other studies DO find it roughly 50-50. Now does this mean that they live as long, swim as good, fertilize as many eggs - no one knows that (and in fact this is in one of the earliest essays I wrote for the site, again, I am not hiding any information here and anyone who says I am, is misinformed). We also know that hippopotamuses do vary their sperm's gender ratio so that's at least one mammal that has the capability. But I have to go off of what is the most plausible explanation until something definitively shows me otherwise

The issue that I am having here is people acting as if I am hiding info or misleading people or giving "rhetoric" that I am making up or something. The stuff I recommend, I have very well thought out and researched reasons for it (which I have always been, and remain, happy to explain). That's not going to be tolerated any more because it is very hurtful to me so please let's take a moment to edit the nasty tone out of the posts. Really don't appreciate that.

[Brandles]

I need to catch up... I've missed a lot over the past few days.

I totally agree... I followed the diet and did everything perfectly down to the timing and got a boy with three of those girl sways (two were miscarriages)... I was a little more relaxed on the diet and just focused more on timing with my DD- I knew I was going to ovulate on the 14th day so we stopped having sex 4-5 days before ovulation and he was actually out of town that whole week and I ended up having a girl... not saying that's going to be true in all cases, BUT this pregnancy was a total surprise and same thing looking back on my timing- we stopped having sex about 4-5 days prior since we got in a huge blow out argument. SO apparently for my personal body the diet was too much for me to conceive a girl.

I know I am pregnant with my overall dg, but I have not been very excited about this pregnancy... this is the only pregnancy I have had that my DH hasn't been excited about. He does not discuss the baby whatsoever... doesn't touch my belly, zero support, nothing at all. It's been a hard 11 weeks of this... hopefully he comes around soon. I feel like I can't enjoy it or even talk about it around him. I want to enjoy this baby, I just can't. :(

I haven't been taking pics of this pregnancy as much as I have in past pregnancies, but here is my 14+6 belly shot- Started this pregnancy out weighing what I delivered my 2nd son at. :(

33405

[jenren]

I need to catch up... I've missed a lot over the past few days.

I totally agree... I followed the diet and did everything perfectly down to the timing and got a boy with both of those sways... I was a little more relaxed on the diet and just focused more on timing with my DD- I knew I was going to ovulate on the 14th day so we stopped having sex 4-5 days before ovulation and he was actually out of town that whole week and I ended up having a girl... not saying that's going to be true in all cases, BUT this pregnancy was a total surprise and same thing looking back on my timing- we stopped having sex about 4-5 days prior since we got in a huge blow out argument. SO apparently for my personal body the diet was too much for me to conceive a girl.

I know I am pregnant with my overall dg, but I have not been very excited about this pregnancy... this is the only pregnancy I have had that my DH hasn't been excited about. He does not discuss the baby whatsoever... doesn't touch my belly, zero support, nothing at all. It's been a hard 11 weeks of this... hopefully he comes around soon. I feel like I can't enjoy it or even talk about it around him. I want to enjoy this baby, I just can't. :(

I haven't been taking pics of this pregnancy as much as I have in past pregnancies, but here is my 14+6 belly shot- Started this pregnancy out weighing what I delivered my 2nd son at. :(

33405
Such a cute bump! I'm sorry about your dh :( I can't imagine how hard that would be. my dh was done after our second baby. Yet here we are on ds 4 and every pregnancy he has been so supportive and loving about. Even though I know he would have been done after two he has supported me in having more. I even believe he would let me go for a fifth if I wanted... but it would be just too much for me. I really hope dh comes around for you soon. Has he gone to an ultrasound with you??

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[atomic sagebrush]

I agree with you Burakoam about sways not working. Last year, pink wasn't great but blue was a tad better.

I'm not sure what to think anymore. I have offered up a couple possible suggestions for blue but that seemed to be dismissed. I personally think that following something to a "T" might be where the problem lays. I think it's just too restrictive for both pink and blue. I'm beginning to think a moderation is the way to go. There is something to be said for people following the guidelines, and not doing extra things, that are still getting opposites. Makes no sense to me. I mean people on both sides are having relaxed sways getting opposites as well as people following stricter sways getting opposites.

It could be bad luck, but I don't think so. I have my own thoughts- some I shared briefly in the other thread, but sadly I don't feel comfortable voicing them.



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

XX - the thing is, if you offer an explanation that I have already considered, and then I try to share the reasons why I do not think that is the case, that is not a dismissal. The other option is that I could listen and say nothing, and then do whatever I believe right anyway (and maybe I should have done that. I am not made that way, though. Feels dishonest to me.)

I'm sorry you feel that I dismissed you. It was not my intent, and had actually already considered what you mentioned (and agreed about the possible weight gain.)

I believe that from where I sit I am uniquely qualified to be the "eye in the sky" on what is working for us. Maybe some of you disagree with that from where YOU sit, but I have very specific reasons why I think all the things that I do. I am always happy to share those reasons and any suggestion otherwise, I'm sorry, that is just not true.

I can't just erase those reasons in an effort to as my husband would say "butter people's balls" because I do not believe that I'm in the wrong here. I think what we're doing is safe, sane, quick time to conception, and it sways gender. I cannot and will not drop methods I believe work better for people, or add things I believe are placebos or even harmful, in ANY of those arenas in some attempt to create agreement or consensus. I would not be doing any of you any favors if I bowed to "whatever way the wind is blowing" even if I disagreed with it.

ALL the sway info is here on the site. Lots of different tactics. I didn't delete any of that stuff even when I really think it's a bad idea. You guys are asking MY OPINION in the Custom Plans and in the forums. AT the end of it all, that is all I have ever offered or promised anyone, is that I do my level best to do the research, digest it all, and condense it down in a form that is easy for people to digest (and does not destroy their health, fertility, and marriage). But to suggest that I change MY OPINION when I do not think I have cause to do that, I don't think that's fair or right to ask of me. I'm not going to, all I can do is just keep doing what I think is best and is best supported by science.

I've been wrong before. I was wrong on the pink sways in 2011-2012 and I changed them. I took that very seriously and apologized to the people who I felt got opposites because of my recommendations. I share new studies when I find them (and wish I had more time for that honestly) and I am ALWAYS challenging and rethinking all my assumptions. IF I don't change something it is because I do not think it should be changed. That's all. My only motivation is to get people their desired gender, safely, sanely, and quickly.

[Throwaway_panther]

Ah, glad I just so happened to stumble across this.

You guys are always welcome to bring stuff like this up. This idea that you are having to sneak around behind my back talking in back rooms or something - nah. That simply isn't true. I LOVE to talk and debate about swaying and I would refer you all back to my many posts where I do just that. It is why I keep all the information up about all the different sway tactics - I certainly don't have to do that, I do that because I want you guys to have all the info that I can provide. That's kind of my whole deal, is the free and open exchange of information here.

But at the same time, I do think that you guys simply must accept the fact that you can say whatever and then I have the right (and in fact the responsibility) to respond to them, and unlike all the rest of everyone on here I also write about 200 posts a day and I have to do that FAST and some interpret that as being short. I also sometimes do get a little bit annoyed when you guys don't seem to listen to explanations I have already given, and force me to take time from my children and the people who help me to go over the same thing again and again (for the same person I mean, not for noobs) and it's like they did not listen in the first place. This is not a regular thing, everyone has an off day now and then and I'm sure you can understand I am a human being and not infallible.

The fact is, it HAS indeed been proven to my satisfaction that we are more important to the gender. It is a biological reality that we are the ones who get pregnant, carry a baby for 9 months, feed it for at least another 9-18, and so on. There are a myriad of studies that show this, I've talked about it a jillion times, the scientists who are a hell of a lot smarter than any of us here on the site and have made a lifetime of studying the idea, ALL think this.

At the same time I have made no secret at all whatsoever that men do bring something to the table. The idea that I should then suddenly go around telling everyone, especially blue swayers, that they have literally no hope at all because they can't change anything, and more importantly, that I do not find the facts to be in support of that, that's not going to happen and I think it's a little...not sure of the word here, but a little something...that anyone would suggest that I am in any way being remiss by not doing it that way. I do it that way because I've talked to a lot of people and I think it's the best way to do it. A)I think it's bad for swaying to have that mental attitude and B) I do not believe that to be the case. And C) the idea that I am somehow being remiss/hiding information I don't appreciate, and since that has now been hinted about very openly I"m going to humbly suggest that is a pretty shitty thing considering the many hours I try very hard to help all of you guys. It's easy to take potshots from the outside, but I'm the one who has been here in the trenches this whole time.

EVERYthing that has been mentioned on here I have talked about, just because you personally may not have seen that, doesn't mean that I am somehow hiding information from people or talking in an untrue or misleading manner. It is not rhetoric, it is a belief that is shared by Robert Trivers, Valerie Grant, Satoshi Kanazawa, Elissa Cameron, and Richard Freaking Dawkins (I think that's his middle name LOL)

Re the study that has been referenced, this is something I've posted about numerous times, it was a hypothetical gene that was speculated about by a graduate student that has never been proven. I believe it will never BE proven and I have actually talked to some actual geneticists on Facebook that agree that it was a dumb and misleading study. I have read extensively about the sperm split and men have to make 50-50. You don't have to take my word for it, go ask Dr. Potter or Dr. Braverman or your local high school biology teacher. IT's because their XY cells split in two to make half X and half Y. I have also seen back on Ingender, probably 2 dozen women "have their husband's sperm tested" and it was always 50-50 ish. Other studies DO find it roughly 50-50. Now does this mean that they live as long, swim as good, fertilize as many eggs - no one knows that (and in fact this is in one of the earliest essays I wrote for the site, again, I am not hiding any information here and anyone who says I am, is misinformed). We also know that hippopotamuses do vary their sperm's gender ratio so that's at least one mammal that has the capability. But I have to go off of what is the most plausible explanation until something definitively shows me otherwise

The issue that I am having here is people acting as if I am hiding info or misleading people or giving "rhetoric" that I am making up or something. The stuff I recommend, I have very well thought out and researched reasons for it (which I have always been, and remain, happy to explain). That's not going to be tolerated any more because it is very hurtful to me so please let's take a moment to edit the nasty tone out of the posts. Really don't appreciate that.
I'm not implying you're making things up, since you quoted my notion of rhetoric. I, and others, do feel that questioning some recommendations and/or bringing up other points is not well received. Which is uncomfortable. And if you take that as a potshot, I'm at a loss as to how to convey any inquiry.

We're all in here because we're desperate. Many of us pay you in some way or other for a reason. But it's hard to say anything it seems lately.

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[Burakoam]

Atomic I don't know that anyone said you were hiding anything, so much as you are really hesitant to change anything regardling plans. I think the reasons numbers are dropping on both sides is actually tied to how many are attempting to TTC this year with 3+ of one gender. I don't think the same plan applies to a woman with 3 girls that applies to a woman who say already has one girl and maybe would be likely to get a boy the next time anyhow just so happens to sway and lo and behold it's a boy. Honestly their body may have been pretty in between as it is so a 'nudge' from a sway works better than someone who lets say is 90% pink sways, and then because a sway IS just a nudge really ends up being 50:50 so they still end up pink. Now I am not saying you ever advertised as anything greater than that but I do think the plan should be tailored more to someone who has more of one gender than another person and they shouldn't have the same plan. That is why you charge for the plans and don't do them for free when the time is there right?

I think more emphasis needs put into muscle mass when swaying blue. What I am seeing in this DD group with failed pink sways is pretty and skinny mommas that by all means should be pink friendly but they are still very active and can see in their pictures they have excellent muscle mass and are tough as nails. (This is a compliment ladies.. as a girl mom I admire the shit out of you!) but I do think that physical toughness sways more blue than is let on.

I believe that is also how you see so many obese women with lots of boys too when the weight should sway girl. Who knows what their muscle mass is despite that weight? Probably just as good as some more fit ladies! And then they get more sons.

The study as to why models make more boys is on the right track but I disagree that it's strong features. You wanna talk about strong genetics? I'll post a picture of me and my girls where you can see all of them look more like me and have a lot of my features... I think it's because a lot of models take the excersise portion of their lives very seriously... you see alot of models lifting weights and kickboxing, ETC

Ultimately just like you think we read your posts as short and rude I think you read a bit much into ours. If I don't want to say something publicly it isn't because it's necessarily a private attack on your character.. actually something unrelated. It that I thought you could take offense to it anyhow and my goal is not to come on here and offend you atomic as I want to believe you really tried for me and all the failed sways too and what is simply just is... but you can't put the blame entirely on us and not expect people's feelings to get a bit hurt. I and others simply want you to look further into things and if it was something you were willing to do I bEt you would see a lot of us shut up and simply watch you work.

[Burakoam]

Brandles while I hate that she seems to pop up and always rub in anyone's face she can that she has no problem getting what she wants it seems sway or not, is a good example. Her body is quite obviously in a state of 50/50. She nudges a bit this way she gets a boy.. she goes the opposite, gets a girl. Someone with 3 boys is not going to be in that same state. Brandles admitted for 2 of her boys she swayed so you can't use her as an example of a mom that has 3 boys then gets a girl. Instead the example should be Jen, who is on her 4th I can tell from her belly pictures she still has a lot muscle mass. I think what you are looking at is in what sway cases is there an individual who needs a more extreme sway from you vs someone who may only need a nudge one way or the other.

[Burakoam]

A good example of why women with dominant strong genes doesn't mean boys are easy to make.

33409

[atomic sagebrush]

You don't know what I'm doing in people's plans, Burkoam. I have dozens of blue swayers all with different needs and I work with them for months and in some cases years. Many of the plans are dramatically different from each other and I tweak them very much over the course of time as things and circumstances change.

I believe that some very great assumptions are being made and I realize in the here and now that nothing I say will be heard by anyone. I think I'm veering into "the lady doth protest too much" land here and I'm done.

I've tried, I've failed, moving on.

[Throwaway_panther]

Brandles while I hate that she seems to pop up and always rub in anyone's face she can that she has no problem getting what she wants it seems sway or not, is a good example. Her body is quite obviously in a state of 50/50. She nudges a bit this way she gets a boy.. she goes the opposite, gets a girl. Someone with 3 boys is not going to be in that same state. Brandles admitted for 2 of her boys she swayed so you can't use her as an example of a mom that has 3 boys then gets a girl. Instead the example should be Jen, who is on her 4th I can tell from her belly pictures she still has a lot muscle mass. I think what you are looking at is in what sway cases is there an individual who needs a more extreme sway from you vs someone who may only need a nudge one way or the other.
And then that perspective is complicated, too, it seems since XX was mentioning extreme sways seeming to be an issue, whereas looser sways work better -- I mean, we have several women on here who had "surprise" babies that did end up being their desired gender, right? Even after several of one? Even for blue, I wonder if people just followed looser changes (so weight gain was minimized, if at all) if that would be preferable, just as the "relaxed sway" has been recommended for girl sways?

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[jenren]

A good example of why women with dominant strong genes doesn't mean boys are easy to make.

33409
I knew you were pretty ;) your girls look just like you! A little jealous because none of my boys look anything like me. They are all mini versions of my dh

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[atomic sagebrush]

I'm not implying you're making things up, since you quoted my notion of rhetoric. I, and others, do feel that questioning some recommendations and/or bringing up other points is not well received. Which is uncomfortable. And if you take that as a potshot, I'm at a loss as to how to convey any inquiry.

We're all in here because we're desperate. Many of us pay you in some way or other for a reason. But it's hard to say anything it seems lately.

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Panther, you've implied quite a few things in your recent posts and I don't think I'm misreading them.

That is probably partially down to the shortcomings of communications of forums. You guys have to expect that I will reply to the things you say giving my opinion (which is really all I have to give - my opinion and my experience). Some of the things you in particular have said over the course of the last few days have been unfair and untrue, and when I try to explain further, this has now become drummed up into me being defensive. Or something. I'm sure that's how it comes off. I don't have time to edit LOL. Answering people's questions is not being defensive, nor is trying to explain it further when someone is seeming to misunderstand a point I'm making. That's all.

Anyway, done now.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh God, I so totally know better, but again an assumption that some people may have, about what I am recommending that is possibly not correct.

I do not ever tell people to gain bundles of weight for blue. I know people have that misconception but the most I ever have anyone gain in sway plans is 10-15 lbs for women who are very underweight, 3-5 or even 1-3 lbs for most, and then overweight swayers I have them gain nothing if possible and just hold steady. This is not something I can change - that's already how I have it in the blue plans. I agree, completely and totally, excess weight gain is not a good idea (even just for having a healthy pregnancy)

[Throwaway_panther]

Panther, you've implied quite a few things in your recent posts and I don't think I'm misreading them.

That is probably partially down to the shortcomings of communications of forums. You guys have to expect that I will reply to the things you say giving my opinion (which is really all I have to give - my opinion and my experience). Some of the things you in particular have said over the course of the last few days have been unfair and untrue, and when I try to explain further, this has now become drummed up into me being defensive. Or something. I'm sure that's how it comes off. I don't have time to edit LOL. Answering people's questions is not being defensive, nor is trying to explain it further when someone is seeming to misunderstand a point I'm making. That's all.

Anyway, done now.

I don't know what you think I'm implying though, and I've already said you are inferring something from me that I'm not intending! I've tried so, so hard to try and play peace here while still trying to contribute to discussion. I am only here because I want the same thing as others on here; I came here too wanting a baby of a certain sex and finding the support over being depressed about the sex of my baby. I just feel at this point you dislike me and there's nothing I can possibly say to change this. And even if it doesn't matter if you like me or not, all I have ever tried to do on here was analyze everything we have at our fingertips to try and get our desire gendered babies, like you do for us.

I just don't know what else to say anymore, so I'll just stop.

[atomic sagebrush]

If I tried to explain, then I would look like an asshole and just get sucked into a further debate about what you meant and how I didn't read it right, ok?? At some point, I think when a person wants to argue, they're gonna find something in anything a person tries, to continue it, and I don't wanna argue. So I am suggesting that we walk away whistling (that's what I am doing anyway) and I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing to the best of my ability. Maybe there will be something in that that you can use. That would be my hope. :)

[Girlieplease]

Am off to bed now but had to say burakoam what a gorgeous family you have!

I don't really know why we are all arguing, but I think we all want the same thing. Am not sure how may sway will turn out but whatever the outcome, no more babies for me. My decision, but I still am interested in gender swaying and although sorting out this information won't help me, I hope it could help others, I think that is our common goal. We are all here for an individual purpose but our common goal is to help and support each other. I am so grateful for this site because my goodness in the future if this does not work out am going need you guys. I will have no one to talk it through with in rl, my husband has made it clear he will not tolerate gender disappointment! I think it is really healthy for people to share their perspective on why they think it's not working because some helpful ideas might come from this. But it is also heart breaking when people don't get their gd, especially when it is their last shot. I have to say burakoam I have been so impressed with you trying to understand your sway and help others but everyone must remember that that is through a hurt position. That is just my opinion and don't want to upset anyone, so ignore my tired rambling, I don't even know what point I was trying to make. I suppose I don't know how your feeling burakoam just some pop psychology ideas on it!

[Brandles]

Such a cute bump! I'm sorry about your dh :( I can't imagine how hard that would be. my dh was done after our second baby. Yet here we are on ds 4 and every pregnancy he has been so supportive and loving about. Even though I know he would have been done after two he has supported me in having more. I even believe he would let me go for a fifth if I wanted... but it would be just too much for me. I really hope dh comes around for you soon. Has he gone to an ultrasound with you??

Thanks Jen! It's definitely been a tough pregnancy as far as DH is concerned. My black top today was tight and I went to sit on the couch near him... he looked at my belly and rolled his eyes. It really sucks. He did come to my NT scan with me, and asked a couple questions... I think he was a little disappointed hearing that everything was ok with the baby thus far.

[Burakoam]

So anyway back with thread topic...


Elective ultrasound is in 7 days. I will be 16 weeks and still praying for a miracle. Doubt at this point though..I know intelligender isn't reliable but even that gave a girl result.. was really mad at myself for wasting that 50.

[3'sacharm]

Good luck with the scan burakoam! I'm keeping everything crossed that intelligender was wrong for you though ;) I'm still suffering with morning sickness, it's been worse in the 2nd tri than it was in the 1st?! I'm struggling with clothes now though as none of my normal trousers fit anymore but my mat stuff is on the big side so keep falling down!!! So many cute bump pics, still amazes me how much bumps vary in size even at the same stage of pregnancy!!!x

[Brandles]

Oh 3, sorry you're still having awful morning sickness... hopefully it starts to taper off soon. My ms is more like an all day nausea feeling and this nasty taste in my mouth. I was hoping at 15 weeks it would be gone, but nope... still going strong. I got rid of all by baby stuff and mat clothes over this past year... so lately I've been using the trusty hair tie to keep my pants up and make room for my growing belly, but last week I finally broke down and bought some new maternity jeans.

[Burakoam]

Awe charm :( .. have you found anything that gives your stomach some relief nausea wise? Try a milkshake! I don't know what it is but it seems baby girls really love those shakes and a few people I know in real life that got very sick and also were having girls would rink shakes until the day they delivered cause something about it soothed the belly. My cousin was sick from her pregnancy test until delivery with her daughter :(

[3'sacharm]

Actually, funnily enough yes milk shakes are and have been good! I was craving them early on and I'm never usually a milk drinker at all. It's more to do with an empty stomach though I think as its only in the morning, I lost my breakfast and more the other morning but proceeded to finish it off promptly after finishing in the toilet!!! Lol!

Brandles - I meant to say that my husband isn't overly supportive with this pregnancy either, I knew he'd be like this, in he's gradually getting better so I'm hopeful that by the time baby is here he'll be much better!x

[Burakoam]

Charm I think the fact he was worried it would be another boy and what that would mean is probably why yours has been kind of off. Now that you guys know you are getting your little girl I bet he warms up fast and she is a big daddy's girl :)

[lindz]

Haven't posted in here yet. Due March 1st. Swayed for a girl, but I having a boy. He will be my second boy. Really sad to see how many people's sways didn't work, especially those on their last baby :( I'm trying to accept having two boys(something I never wanted only wanted one boy) but anytime I see someone with a boy and girl or a family of two girls and boy, all the feelings come back. That could have been me. Why don't I get my dream family? My cousin used my girl name for his first and now he's having a second girl a month before my boy comes which really sucks. I hate going through this pregnancy not at all excited by the outcome. I also can't stop thinking what if. I had just gotten my prescription for metaformin and clomid and was ready to try in July or August only to find out I was already 7 weeks pregnant. Our stupid anniversary weekend ruined everything. I'd feel better if I had at least tried the medications and they didn't work then to not even get the chance..


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[Brandles]

Brandles - I meant to say that my husband isn't overly supportive with this pregnancy either, I knew he'd be like this, in he's gradually getting better so I'm hopeful that by the time baby is here he'll be much better!x I'm sorry! My hubby wasn't happy with our 1st daughter (or this baby... period). He was really hoping for another boy the 1st time. He warmed up eventually, but wasn't really ok with having a daughter until she was around 2 weeks old. He was holding and talking to her one day and said something along the lines of how he felt so bad for not wanting her and how he couldn't imagine not having her. I'm hoping the same will happen with this baby... and eventually he'll come around. I'm sure your hubby will come around and she'll be daddy's little girl!

[Brandles]

lindz, welcome and congrats on your pregnancy- I'm sorry you didn't get your girl this time. Is this going to be your last baby? I would be so upset if my cousin took my girl name... It took me a long time to get her and there were times people (friends) broght her name up and were considering using it. Sending you my thoughts and prayers for your peace with this pregnancy. xoxo

[atomic sagebrush]

I just wanted to be sure that this is posted everywhere the topic came up. Not trying to open any cans of worms or otherwise, I think it's important that any misconceptions are rectified. :)

I thought it might be helpful to everyone to see the breakdown of our success rates by year.

2011-2012 40 :DS: 22 :DD: - 62% success rate.

I have a further breakdown for 41 of these where I broke them down by IG/FGD vs. HE because HE was new then and we wanted to see if there was any difference - this thread is in the Dream Members section for anyone who wants to verify this.

41 total sways
15 opposites, 4 of which were HE, 11 of which were IG/FGD
26 success, 10 of which were IG, 16 of which were HE

2013 29 :DS: 7 :DD: - 80% success rate

2014 20 :DS: 8 :DD: - 71% success rate

2015 21 :DS: 15 :DD: 58% success rate

2016 So far 5 :DS: 5 :DD: 50% success rate.

Total success rates of the site:

172 total sways, 115 boys, 57 girls, success rate 66%

[purple]

Welcome lindz! Congrats on your pregnancy! Sorry your sway didn't work, I remember my dissapointment finding out I was having a 2nd boy but eventually was able to get excited by thinking how nice it would be for DS1 to have a brother so I focused on that. It also wasn't what I originally wanted but two boys can be pretty sweet :)


Sorry you are still sick 3'sacharm :( hopefully it improves soon!

[Magical22]

Welcome Lindz, sorry you didn't hear pink [emoji17]


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[jdd1017]

Haven't posted in here yet. Due March 1st. Swayed for a girl, but I having a boy. He will be my second boy. Really sad to see how many people's sways didn't work, especially those on their last baby :( I'm trying to accept having two boys(something I never wanted only wanted one boy) but anytime I see someone with a boy and girl or a family of two girls and boy, all the feelings come back. That could have been me. Why don't I get my dream family? My cousin used my girl name for his first and now he's having a second girl a month before my boy comes which really sucks. I hate going through this pregnancy not at all excited by the outcome. I also can't stop thinking what if. I had just gotten my prescription for metaformin and clomid and was ready to try in July or August only to find out I was already 7 weeks pregnant. Our stupid anniversary weekend ruined everything. I'd feel better if I had at least tried the medications and they didn't work then to not even get the chance..


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Welcome Lindz!!!! I'm so sorry your sway didn't work! We had a NT sono and I'm about 99% sure mine didn't work either, this will be DS#3. I have cried daily for the past 4 days since finding out. I am going to have a very difficult time with anyone having girls around the same time as me, so I can totally relate to you having a difficult time with your cousin having a girl so close to your due date! Will you have more kids? The thing that sucks is that the more boys you have the lower your chances of getting a girl is (at least I think I remember reading that somewhere). When people tell me that we will just have to have a 4th I want to punch them lol. They don't understand that at that rate my 4th is practically guaranteed to be a boy also. Plus, after doing all this I wouldn't sway again. I feel like I did a complete 180 from when I got pregnant with my boys, and if that didn't work for me to get a girl then nothing will.

Also-if it makes you feel any better, I had done 3 cycles of Clomid and the cycle that I got my BFP was right off Clomid and I took Femara that cycle instead. I really thought I would have a good chance at a DD since I was hoping I had a little Clomid left in my system and the Femara would sway for me also. So don't beat yourself up about not getting the chance to take Clomid. It isn't the magic bullet I thought it would be[emoji20][emoji20]


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[Magical22]

Like JDD I'm also on my Ds3 I'm 13 weeks and struggling to be excited about this pregnancy. And yes if it makes you feel better I made DS2 while on clomid. We have been ttc for years also did HT which was unsuccessful, I have frozen embryos ready to go from low cost ivf here in Australia I was ready to put one back in November but then accidentally fell.....well not trying not preventing since naturally trying hasn't worked for us for so long and fell pregnant. I keep wondering what my 2 frozen embryos are maybe they where my girls and I fell with this boy first. This is definitely our last I pushed DH for this one so no daughter for me ever. The only reason I wanted a third was for a daughter.


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[Cinss]

Hi Lindz, welcome 🌸 you and I are due date buddies 😀

[Burakoam]

For all of the sway opposites.

33418

I think i have finally hit the stage of acceptance, but its coming with a really strong depression. I am sorry for my behavior to anyone who felt i was rude, cruel, or unsupportive. At my heart i am not a nasty and rude person.

I hope everyone struggling with their opposites will find healing throughout the pregnancy or after their baby's birth.

[lindz]

lindz, welcome and congrats on your pregnancy- I'm sorry you didn't get your girl this time. Is this going to be your last baby? I would be so upset if my cousin took my girl name... It took me a long time to get her and there were times people (friends) broght her name up and were considering using it. Sending you my thoughts and prayers for your peace with this pregnancy. xoxo

No we plan on having one more. Always saw myself with 2 girls and a boy or even 3 girls. I just need to adjust to my new reality. It was always so important to me that my daughter had a sister, but now I'd be perfectly content with just getting a daughter. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! If I do end up with a daughter, I know she will be worth the long wait and no one better use my new girl name in the meantime!


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[lindz]

Welcome lindz! Congrats on your pregnancy! Sorry your sway didn't work, I remember my dissapointment finding out I was having a 2nd boy but eventually was able to get excited by thinking how nice it would be for DS1 to have a brother so I focused on that. It also wasn't what I originally wanted but two boys can be pretty sweet :)


Sorry you are still sick 3'sacharm :( hopefully it improves soon!

I never had a brother, so the world of boys is still pretty new to me. My son is the sweetest baby boy, and I'm sure this new baby will be too. I'm glad I can give him a brother(and hopefully friend) even if it isn't my dream


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[lindz]

Welcome Lindz!!!! I'm so sorry your sway didn't work! We had a NT sono and I'm about 99% sure mine didn't work either, this will be DS#3. I have cried daily for the past 4 days since finding out. I am going to have a very difficult time with anyone having girls around the same time as me, so I can totally relate to you having a difficult time with your cousin having a girl so close to your due date! Will you have more kids? The thing that sucks is that the more boys you have the lower your chances of getting a girl is (at least I think I remember reading that somewhere). When people tell me that we will just have to have a 4th I want to punch them lol. They don't understand that at that rate my 4th is practically guaranteed to be a boy also. Plus, after doing all this I wouldn't sway again. I feel like I did a complete 180 from when I got pregnant with my boys, and if that didn't work for me to get a girl then nothing will.

Also-if it makes you feel any better, I had done 3 cycles of Clomid and the cycle that I got my BFP was right off Clomid and I took Femara that cycle instead. I really thought I would have a good chance at a DD since I was hoping I had a little Clomid left in my system and the Femara would sway for me also. So don't beat yourself up about not getting the chance to take Clomid. It isn't the magic bullet I thought it would be[emoji20][emoji20]


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I'm sorry your sway didn't work either :( It's hard because you always hope you're the exception everyone talks about who had a girl after two boys or 3 boys, but in reality it seems so unlikely. My husband and I decided we will go HT for a girl for our third. I can't risk the heartbreak of hearing boy again after having so much hope that it could be a daughter. I only want 3 kids, so I can't just keep trying and hope for the best. It does make me feel better that clomid isn't a magic bullet because I was so sure it was exactly what I needed. Are you able to go HT for a fourth or is it out of the question?


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[lindz]

Like JDD I'm also on my Ds3 I'm 13 weeks and struggling to be excited about this pregnancy. And yes if it makes you feel better I made DS2 while on clomid. We have been ttc for years also did HT which was unsuccessful, I have frozen embryos ready to go from low cost ivf here in Australia I was ready to put one back in November but then accidentally fell.....well not trying not preventing since naturally trying hasn't worked for us for so long and fell pregnant. I keep wondering what my 2 frozen embryos are maybe they where my girls and I fell with this boy first. This is definitely our last I pushed DH for this one so no daughter for me ever. The only reason I wanted a third was for a daughter.


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I'm so sorry :( it's hard to have more children than you were planning on and still not get your daughter. How frustrating to not know if those embryos are girls or boys. I know everyone says things happen for a reason but when you're going through it it's not so easy to have that viewpoint. I hope you're able to find peace when your son is born


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[lindz]

Hi Lindz, welcome [emoji254] you and I are due date buddies [emoji3]

Yay for being due date buddies! My son was 4 days late so it should be interesting to see when this baby comes


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[jdd1017]

For all of the sway opposites.

33418

I think i have finally hit the stage of acceptance, but its coming with a really strong depression. I am sorry for my behavior to anyone who felt i was rude, cruel, or unsupportive. At my heart i am not a nasty and rude person.

I hope everyone struggling with their opposites will find healing throughout the pregnancy or after their baby's birth.

Omg Burakoam, I absolutely LOVE this!!! It made me cry but it perfectly describes how I have been feeling! I have a nursery, name, etc....all picked out for a daughter. You spend so much time dreaming about what your dream gender baby will look like and then to have it not happen is so painful. I'm glad you are finally accepting your little girl. It gives me hope that someday, I might end up being happy with this baby. It's funny/cruel how your family of 4 girls is my dream family and you want a boy and that's all I keep getting. Life just isn't freaking fair sometimes[emoji37][emoji37].
My husband pointed out to me that if we decide not to have a 4th, this is my last pregnancy and I really need to enjoy it. He's right, I do, but I'm just not sure how. I feel like I will always think back with sadness about this pregnancy.

Lindz-I don't think it's in our budget to go HT. I have enormous student loans and we don't live anywhere near a HT clinic. We have talked about doing foster to adopt for a little girl. I'm not convinced I want to do that either. Even if we do I don't think it will be the same as having my own flesh and blood. I'm jealous you are going HT next time! I hope and pray it works for you!!!!!


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[Burakoam]

JDD a lot of high tech clinics offer loans for services. We got a loan for my tubal reversal at the clinic I was seeing for 7000 total and with only a credit score at the time of 615. we paid it off with a tax refund.


If you were to decide you could have one more I would 100% go the high tech route. Just so you know that you would for sure get your girl and not risk any more heart break. Take a loan out for the really expensive stuff and save money for the lesser costs like possible hotel stays etc.. they have long term stay hotels that give really good rates like 100-200 for a week or something like that. Most states have them somewhere I think.

It's a debt and the biggest thing to worry about is if it won't work for you. There are women who go in and once their eggs are fertilized they find out the only usable ones are the opposite sex of what they want. The good news is most clinics give you 3-4 tries with the amount you pay. That's actually why I've is so expensive.. they estimate it will take more than one cycle so they offer cheaper services ultimately to those who need all the tries to get pregnant, while making it more expensive to someone who could get it with that first try.

[Brandles]

Well ladies, my all day nausea seems to be tapering down a little- yay, but now I've gained some pretty severe lower back pain... and today I woke up with my legs feeling like I did a million squats. It hurts to come down to a sitting position and hurts upon standing. I'm calling my chiropractor first thing tomorrow am for an adjustment. Anyone else having lower back pain already? I think it might be time to pull out some pregnancy pillows.

[Cinss]

Yay for being due date buddies! My son was 4 days late so it should be interesting to see when this baby comes


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Yes should be interesting to see, it is rare for them to come on their Dd, mine have been a little early each time so hoping this one follows suit

[Burakoam]

Brandles any chance it's SI pain? I had it brutal with my DD3.. whenever I would squat or bend it would be enough to bring tears to my eyes. Once it was bad enough my legs buckled beneath me and luckily hubby caught me before I fell it always felt like it was my low back or tailbone

Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction: SI Joint Pain Treatment (http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/mobileart.asp?articlekey=84902&page=1)

[Brandles]

Brandles any chance it's SI pain? I had it brutal with my DD3.. whenever I would squat or bend it would be enough to bring tears to my eyes. Once it was bad enough my legs buckled beneath me and luckily hubby caught me before I fell it always felt like it was my low back or tailbone

Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction: SI Joint Pain Treatment (http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/mobileart.asp?articlekey=84902&page=1)

Ooooh, ouch... No, this is more like mid-lower back pain... and my legs literally feel like I've been squatting or lifting weights- both totally seem unrelated. Definitely not looking forward to any SI pain though.

It feels like my body is literally falling apart. I possibly broke my right foot just days before finding out I was pregnant, but knew I was so never went for an xray- that is still giving me problems. Then yesterday, a kid with cleats on stepped on my other foot and now that foot is hurting almost as bad as the right side. Lol! A kid stepped on my foot just days before I delivered ds3 and he broke the top of my foot back then. I guess I need to start upping my calcium intake. Lol!

[purple]

Ouch... I hope your chiropractor helps your back Brandles. Not good about your feet either!

So far I have been pretty lucky avoiding back pain but with DS2 I got some pubic pain so I think I had a bit of SPD. I have noticed a few days since 14 wks where I have had some SPD like pain so I'm hoping it doesn't get worse. I have a better mattress now so I think it should help as it improved last time after using more padding in bed.

I found out today I am accepted in the hospital midwife group practice so I was happy about that. Sometimes it can be hard to get a place. Now I just need everything to stay low risk with my pregnancy so I can have another home birth.

[Magical22]

Does anyone know if there is a safe time to have surgery when pregnant? Just wondering when it's safe with anaesthetic? I have gotten gallstones in the last week and they are painful. Prob meeting with a surgeon in the next week or two but just thought I'd ask you guys also. Can't believe I have gallstones I'm an athletic looking person, tall skinny, fit, eat well it's crazy!

Ouch brandles sounds like we are in some pain together.

Great news purple.


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[jdd1017]

Oh that is awful Magical!!! I hope they can figure something out for you!!!!


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[Burakoam]

Not a doctor, But id think any time after baby is viable would 100% be safe because then in case of emergency they can always get baby out.

But I think a doctor is going to tell you to go until you cant take the pain any more and then you NEED the surgery..they always wanna put mom first because if anything serious is up with you it can cause complications with baby. I would think the pain associated with gallstones could initiate labor if severe enough because its stress in your body.. I hope you get relief soon magical...

[Burakoam]

I need a favor from mothers with boys....ladies.. with any of your sons around the 13 week mark do you feel their junk was still easily hidden without the right view? like could legs obstruct it so you couldnt even see the boy parts until you were given a better angle?

I had an emergency ultrasound when i was 13+2 because of some bleeding. Baby measured closer to 13+6 from what the tech told me. You know how they are in those situations though and not only are they not supposed to say the sex but they are supposed to avoid the area at all costs if they can so nobody knows yet basically. I looked and looked and i'll be damned but that tech did not get me any angles where the legs or leg bones were out of the way..i swear i watched that screen like a hawk for girl or boy nub or parts and saw nothing. That would normally make me think girl anyways since i would think if baby measured far enough ahead i would have seen SOMETHING if it was a boy, yeah? Does anyone have any pictures of confirmed boys between 13-14 weeks that are side profiles? i am wanting to see how often those parts can still be hidden or if they would be quite obvious by that point. I have been looking through the confirmed boy galleries but alot of those are potty shots much further along or really good nub shots that clearly show the boy parts and i am looking for boys that would still be able to 'hide' their bits between those weeks specifically not more and not less..

I dont know if i brought this up. The whole situation has been really bothering me though and making my heart skip a beat for obvious reasons. The techs arent supposed to refer to baby as anything other than baby or it..and with 3 other pregnancies i can confirm they absolutely never said anything related to gender until 20 weeks..but this wasnt a 'regular' tech either...and he kept refering to the baby as 'he' 'him' and the doctor that came in to check on me did as well. Which floors me because with my pregnancy records they would see where verifi said girl.

[jdd1017]

I wish I could help you Burakoam, but with my other 2 boys I didn't get a sono until 20 weeks. So did you not see a potty shot or a nub shot at that U/S? I can tell you that at my NT scan last week there were a couple views where there was nothing between the legs! It just depended on the angle/view. So you never know!! Sometimes I think people also don't think about what they are saying when they say "him" and "her". When I was pregnant with DS2 we didn't find out the gender and one of the nurses referred to him as "she" after she had looked at my chart. It gave me hope that he was a girl...but nope lol!! When will you have your anatomy scan to find out the gender for sure?


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[Girlieplease]

Interesting burakoam, I have none of ds2, we had a scan at 15 weeks and you could clearly see the meat and two veg at that stage. I have a poor quality scan of ds1 at 12 w 4 days I could try and share but it shows nothing that I can see! X

[Girlieplease]

I have my booking scan next Tuesday, am paranoid about having a mmc, I feel pretty rubbish so that is a good sign isn't? Despite an increase in my thyroid medication my tsh has increased to nearly 9 so that is a worry also. I feel like I have been pregnant for an eternity and yet am only 10 weeks. Funny the closer the scan gets, the more I want it to be further away, ignorance is bliss sort of thing.timing will be rubbish as the weekend after the scan we are having a birthday party for my 6 year old, 30 children and parents! Aaagggghhhh x

[Brandles]

Purple, that is fantastic news... congratulations!!! We have a midwife here that offers a program and I have been dying to take her course... maybe someday!!!!

Magical, Oh nooooo... that is horrible, I'm sorry you're in so much pain. When I was working for an OB we had a pregnant patient that needed an emergency appendectomy (appendix removal) and she was fine... I can't remember how far along she was though.

Burakoam, Not sure if this is what you're looking for, but I have a video of my ds3 at 13+4 weeks when the tech told me I was having a girl and even pointed out several things to support her theory. One shot in the video is a nub shot and knowing what I know today it was clearly a boy, but the other shot in the video is between the legs and she was very adamant that seeing nothing between the legs at this stage was definitely a girl... and the fact there was a solid white line- again- the line was in the direction that supports boy, but I didn't know any better back then. Then at a 15/16 week ultrasound they confirmed girl again, but at 20 weeks he was clearly all boy.

[XXforhubby]

I have a scan from my DS1. He measured 13w6d at 13w1d. You can't see a damn thing, but he looked like a boy to me! I can't find my other scan pics of him that show his boy parts in all their glory, haha! But my side profile pic didn't show anything.

Now off to find which box it is in to post it for you....



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji602], DS3[emoji577][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway in 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[Brandles]

Girlie, Hugs for you... I have had three mmc's and that is a fear that I carry with me until I reach the 20th week... but even then I don't think that fear ever really goes away. Praying for good news at your scan and that your birthday party for our son is uneventful and fun for all!!

[Brandles]

Burakoam, Here is the scan from ds3... you can see how the tech takes the cursor and explains her girl theory to me when in fact she was totally wrong and it was indeed a boy.


https://youtu.be/1fV0_4v-a2Y

[Burakoam]

JDD- because it was an emergency scan I got nothing but the briefness I could see and a huge part of me agrees some don't even realize they are doing it and it probably meant nothing... but it's frustrating :(

But my elective scan where I'll get gender is this Saturday.. 5 days..

Girlie- I am so sorry you aren't feeling well but yes that can be a very good sign! Doctors still tend to agree that in moms who get sick that the sicker they are the healthier the pregnancy!

Brandles I really would appreciate if you would share the video with me.. that may even help more since you were right around where I was and the video will show me as the tech moves in and out to point things out to you! Edit: took me forever to write this post so i posted AFTER you posted the video..thank you!!!!!

XX- waiting as patiently as I can! LOL

[jenren]

Out of my 4 (including this one) I had an us with 3 of them before the 20 week mark. Only ds2 was very clearly a boy. Even at 17 wks with this baby he was not clearly a boy (it was on a crappy machine) last week when my midwife did it she said I think it is a boy. Then at the end she said maybe not...could be girl.... it actually just made me upset because I know it is a boy. I wish she would have said nothing at all. We had a very hard time getting in between the legs though. For ds2 my 13 week scan was very very clear. No doubt a boy

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[purple]

Brandles, did the person who did the 15/16wk scan know much about determining gender? I'm paranoid my 15 wk scan will somehow be wrong even though it was done somewhere they specialize in checking the gender. Just over a week until it gets confirmed!

[purple]

My 13wk scan with DS1 didn't show anything, not even a nub. But I also wasn't looking.

With DS2 I knew about nub therory and was trying to see it but it wasn't clear. I got a nub shot but it must have been missing part of it as it looked a bit girly or I was just being hopeful!

[Cinss]

Yikes Brandles that tech was a moron! That must have been extremely heart breaking to eventually find out she was completely wrong.

[Burakoam]

Thats crazy brandles! watching that video...i can see why the tech thought it was flat but in my opinion VERY thick for that gestation for a girl nub which is supposed to be close already at that point to being a clitoris...

And it gave me just a sliver of hope because yes obviously around that gestation as parts are finishing forming everything has shrunk to an extent without the right angles you simply will not see a nub and potty shots shouldnt be relied on yet...

For anyone wondering, the reason i still take just a sliver of hope with me atm is come to find out Verifi and other NIPT's had what they call a 'sting operation' done on them..and verifi is one of the clinics that returned Healthy female fetus results for a woman that sent in her blood sample that wasnt even pregnant. Which means with insufficent fetal DNA they just say its a girl. They dont give percentage of fetal DNA found or anything like that with results. Just so happens to also be the one with the most incorrect gender results because of this. Now i know that after 10 weeks its less likely to be inaccurate in general so by all means i wont be shocked stupid if its a girl after all and the test was right...but with my high BMI (30.8 and they recommend anyone with a BMI higher than 30 wait longer than 10 weeks to test) There is the tiniest chance that my sway did in fact work and because of inaccurate testing i simply dont know it yet...They have information about the inaccurate results and the sting operation done at this link..hope its okay to post.

DNA Prenatal Screening Tests: MaterniT21, Verifi, Harmony, and Panorama : Ingender.com (http://www.ingender.com/Gender-Tests/MaterniT2-Verifi-Harmony-Panorama.aspx)

[Magical22]

With DS1 he was a surprise didn't know what he was till birth. With DS2 I was told at my 12 week NT scan he was 80% chance of being a boy I had a gender scan with him at 16 weeks and I asked if i could have a look before she said anything. So she held the scan in position for me to see and have a look and I had no idea what I was looking at lol couldn't see a definite boy. But I also didn't know as much back then as I do now. I have excepted this is DS3 I had booked a gender scan for this Bub before my 12 week scan and I had to pay a deposit so I might as well go. Seeing him in a better mind might be a good thing. I'm booked for the 4th November. After my scan since I have the day off I'm going to go shopping for Bub and spend some $$ buying some cute outfits might help.

I'm not in to much pain today with the gallstones it comes and goes more blood tests tomorrow, they are just worried about inflammation and infection.

I also bought some paint the other day to do bubs nursery like this [emoji1370].

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161017/3654c8385b6f4f57fb98cb9b17c8d7c8.jpg


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[Magical22]

Brandles, did the person who did the 15/16wk scan know much about determining gender? I'm paranoid my 15 wk scan will somehow be wrong even though it was done somewhere they specialize in checking the gender. Just over a week until it gets confirmed!

Your scan pics look all girl Purple I don't think you have anything to worry about!


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[purple]

Your scan pics look all girl Purple I don't think you have anything to worry about!


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Thanks.... I probably won't fully believe it until she is in my arms :)

[purple]

With DS1 he was a surprise didn't know what he was till birth. With DS2 I was told at my 12 week NT scan he was 80% chance of being a boy I had a gender scan with him at 16 weeks and I asked if i could have a look before she said anything. So she held the scan in position for me to see and have a look and I had no idea what I was looking at lol couldn't see a definite boy. But I also didn't know as much back then as I do now. I have excepted this is DS3 I had booked a gender scan for this Bub before my 12 week scan and I had to pay a deposit so I might as well go. Seeing him in a better mind might be a good thing. I'm booked for the 4th November. After my scan since I have the day off I'm going to go shopping for Bub and spend some $$ buying some cute outfits might help.

I'm not in to much pain today with the gallstones it comes and goes more blood tests tomorrow, they are just worried about inflammation and infection.

I also bought some paint the other day to do bubs nursery like this [emoji1370].

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161017/3654c8385b6f4f57fb98cb9b17c8d7c8.jpg


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Looks nice Magical :) Do you have white nursery furniture already?

I have looked at so many nice nurseries with white furniture but ours is dark wood and I'm not buying new stuff as ours is still good.

The room we are going to use is the smallest bedroom as the boys share the slightly bigger one. It is currently blue but needed repainting anyway to fix up the walls. I will probably still ho for something neutral and decorate with colour.

[lindz]

With my first son, I didn't get a profile shot. With this one, I didn't find out sex at the 19 week ultrasound(she put it in an envelope). I was definitely looking for a penis the whole time hoping that it wouldn't be there. The potty shot obviously showed a penis when I opened the envelope, but during the scan there was no penis in the profile shot. Both my husband and I left the ultrasound thinking we'd were having a girl. She even zoomed in to point out the thigh bones and we didn't see a penis


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[Magical22]

Looks nice Magical :) Do you have white nursery furniture already?

I have looked at so many nice nurseries with white furniture but ours is dark wood and I'm not buying new stuff as ours is still good.

The room we are going to use is the smallest bedroom as the boys share the slightly bigger one. It is currently blue but needed repainting anyway to fix up the walls. I will probably still ho for something neutral and decorate with colour.

Yes we have white furniture already [emoji846]


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[Dreams4Violet]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am due with my third baby boy on April 2 (I will have a third c-section so it will be sometime during week 39). I have been feeling so heartbroken and angry since finding out I am having another boy. I know that my husband does not want anymore children but honestly one of the only things getting me through right now is thinking about doing IVF with PGD for a daughter in a couple of years- even though I know it is too expensive for us and my husband will refuse. I also don't know much about it as I just learned about it this weekend through research online. I just feel like I need something to give me hope. Just goes to show how futile and relentless hope can be. I don't know why I can't just be happy and accept that I will have three boys. I truly feel like I have lost my daughter, even though she was never real. I can't let her go and it's tearing me apart. Thank you listening and I pray we can all find some peace that are struggling with GD.


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[Cinss]

Welcome Dreams4violet 🌻 I'm sorry you are feeling heart broken right now. There is great info on this forum about ivf with pgd and lots of members who have done it and can share experiences. Did you sway for any of your pregnancies?

[Magical22]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am due with my third baby boy on April 2 (I will have a third c-section so it will be sometime during week 39). I have been feeling so heartbroken and angry since finding out I am having another boy. I know that my husband does not want anymore children but honestly one of the only things getting me through right now is thinking about doing IVF with PGD for a daughter in a couple of years- even though I know it is too expensive for us and my husband will refuse. I also don't know much about it as I just learned about it this weekend through research online. I just feel like I need something to give me hope. Just goes to show how futile and relentless hope can be. I don't know why I can't just be happy and accept that I will have three boys. I truly feel like I have lost my daughter, even though she was never real. I can't let her go and it's tearing me apart. Thank you listening and I pray we can all find some peace that are struggling with GD.


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Welcome Violet I'm so sorry, I'm going through the exact same thing and it is hard. I did HT this year but it didn't work for us, have fallen pregnant naturally with DS3, found out last week, I'm currently 13 weeks. My DH won't have anymore either I pushed for Bub 3 to try for a girl I can't push anymore. So I will never have a daughter.

At the moment I'm focusing on bubs name, decorating his nursery and clothes shopping that's getting me through the days. Hugs


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[purple]

Welcome Dreams4violet :) Sorry you didn't get your desired gender :( This is the right place to get lots of support and also info about PGD if it becomes and option down the track.

[purple]

This is DS2's nursery and the furniture I have to work with. The boys are now both in this room as it is bigger, otherwise I would have used it again as a nursery as I still love the monkey theme :)

I think I just about had the whole theme planned this time into my pregnancy with him but I'm not so sure what I will do this time.

33426

[Cinss]

I love that Purple, my poor son never really got a nursery, he was in my room Co sleeping for the first year but really the first 3 years haha, and now he just bunks in with his sister in her room, its very girly and the other bedroom that the 2 older girls have is girly too. We really need an extra room now more than ever so he can finally have his own space.

[baby2016baby]

Hello every one. Hope your well. Alot seems to have happened since I was here last!!! Might take a while to catch up. Welcome to the new members. I'm so sorry you are both joining the "sway opposite club" which to be honest nobody wants to join!!! I've got no internet at all so I'm getting online rarely. Hope everyone else is well.

I do hope you hear boy burk but at the same time, it would be great, but I don't want you crushed again. I'm the same as you and clinging into to a tiny hope. But if I let myself beleive for a moment I will fall so much harder.

It's so hard when it's all you want is this one thing, which is so achivable to most. Yet you feel its out of reach for you.

My sister inadvertently found out yesterday. I had an midwife check booked after a fall last week and my sister turned up out of the blue, unexpected. If course she pulled up and 5 mins later the midwife came. I had to tell her. She was less than impressed. Then when the midwife was asking about my scans etc and harmony. So my sister also heard the gender. That was it. The mood turned sour. With comments of "all this for nothing" " I can't beleive your going to have a 4th baby in your situation, and it's a girl" " are you stupid, did you really think you would have a boy" you get my drift. Very strained. She promised not to tell anyone but I don't trust her our relationship is poor and more duty, I am close to my brother although he lives away. So I had just started picking up and I'm knocked back down again. I've come to realise nobody will be remotely happy for us. It's partly our ages, the fact we have 3 kids, we're not struggling but we're not rich, I'm not working etc. And it being a girl. I know my sisters reaction would have been somewhat better had this been a boy.

Had anyone else faced less than happy relatives etc? Part of me thinks stuff them if they can't be happy etc but at same time it's hard when your down and agree with them xxx

[lindz]

I cried at my checkup yesterday. The midwife asked what I was having since it wasn't written down so I had to tell her boy and just started crying. For some reason saying it out loud is so hard, it's final and definite, no hope left that someone screwed up and it's a girl. Hadn't met her before so great first impression. By some miracle she has two boys and is done having kids so she could at least relate. It was still probably pretty shocking to her considering here she was telling me everything looked great at the anatomy scan and I have a healthy little baby, and there I was completely indifferent. She wants me to try therapy so I can start enjoying this pregnancy. I guess I could try a couple sessions, but I feel like it will be a waste of time and money


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[Dreams4Violet]

Thank you to Cinss, Magical and Purple and any others I missed for the kind words and warm welcome! I think that is a good idea to focus on baby names and clothes. I keep trying to focus on what I do have (two healthy children and one on the way) and not what I don't (a baby girl). Sometimes that thinking helps and sometimes not. I actually did not sway at all with this pregnancy as it was not planned. Thank you all again, I'm glad that I found this group!


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[Girlieplease]

Hello every one. Hope your well. Alot seems to have happened since I was here last!!! Might take a while to catch up. Welcome to the new members. I'm so sorry you are both joining the "sway opposite club" which to be honest nobody wants to join!!! I've got no internet at all so I'm getting online rarely. Hope everyone else is well.

I do hope you hear boy burk but at the same time, it would be great, but I don't want you crushed again. I'm the same as you and clinging into to a tiny hope. But if I let myself beleive for a moment I will fall so much harder.

It's so hard when it's all you want is this one thing, which is so achivable to most. Yet you feel its out of reach for you.

My sister inadvertently found out yesterday. I had an midwife check booked after a fall last week and my sister turned up out of the blue, unexpected. If course she pulled up and 5 mins later the midwife came. I had to tell her. She was less than impressed. Then when the midwife was asking about my scans etc and harmony. So my sister also heard the gender. That was it. The mood turned sour. With comments of "all this for nothing" " I can't beleive your going to have a 4th baby in your situation, and it's a girl" " are you stupid, did you really think you would have a boy" you get my drift. Very strained. She promised not to tell anyone but I don't trust her our relationship is poor and more duty, I am close to my brother although he lives away. So I had just started picking up and I'm knocked back down again. I've come to realise nobody will be remotely happy for us. It's partly our ages, the fact we have 3 kids, we're not struggling but we're not rich, I'm not working etc. And it being a girl. I know my sisters reaction would have been somewhat better had this been a boy.

Had anyone else faced less than happy relatives etc? Part of me thinks stuff them if they can't be happy etc but at same time it's hard when your down and agree with them xxx

Baby good to hear from you, we have only told my mum about the pregnancy so far and she has not responded well. She just keeps going on about all the negatives and how am I going to cope. She also keeping going on about how my other children will suffer. It is really annoying, especially since my brother and his wife are having their first baby in Feb and my mum is so excited! To add to the annoyance she does not even help us with child care so it is not like it is more of a burden to her. We have not told me in law's, largely because in general they are critical and anxious people, not a good combination. I just am not feeling up to dealing with their negative, anxious comments at the minute.

So sorry your sister reacted like that, sending hugs, hope your ok x o

[Girlieplease]

This is DS2's nursery and the furniture I have to work with. The boys are now both in this room as it is bigger, otherwise I would have used it again as a nursery as I still love the monkey theme :)

I think I just about had the whole theme planned this time into my pregnancy with him but I'm not so sure what I will do this time.

33426

What a lovely room but are you going to go pink pink pink for your girl or an alternative colour? X

[Girlieplease]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am due with my third baby boy on April 2 (I will have a third c-section so it will be sometime during week 39). I have been feeling so heartbroken and angry since finding out I am having another boy. I know that my husband does not want anymore children but honestly one of the only things getting me through right now is thinking about doing IVF with PGD for a daughter in a couple of years- even though I know it is too expensive for us and my husband will refuse. I also don't know much about it as I just learned about it this weekend through research online. I just feel like I need something to give me hope. Just goes to show how futile and relentless hope can be. I don't know why I can't just be happy and accept that I will have three boys. I truly feel like I have lost my daughter, even though she was never real. I can't let her go and it's tearing me apart. Thank you listening and I pray we can all find some peace that are struggling with GD.


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Welcome Violet, sorry you did not hear pink. There are lots in this group who are in the same boat. I am only 10 weeks so am yet to find out if my sway has worked, you will find good support on this group x

[Girlieplease]

I cried at my checkup yesterday. The midwife asked what I was having since it wasn't written down so I had to tell her boy and just started crying. For some reason saying it out loud is so hard, it's final and definite, no hope left that someone screwed up and it's a girl. Hadn't met her before so great first impression. By some miracle she has two boys and is done having kids so she could at least relate. It was still probably pretty shocking to her considering here she was telling me everything looked great at the anatomy scan and I have a healthy little baby, and there I was completely indifferent. She wants me to try therapy so I can start enjoying this pregnancy. I guess I could try a couple sessions, but I feel like it will be a waste of time and money


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Hugs, gd sucks! X

[Girlieplease]

Girlie, Hugs for you... I have had three mmc's and that is a fear that I carry with me until I reach the 20th week... but even then I don't think that fear ever really goes away. Praying for good news at your scan and that your birthday party for our son is uneventful and fun for all!!

Thank you! X

[baby2016baby]

Baby good to hear from you, we have only told my mum about the pregnancy so far and she has not responded well. She just keeps going on about all the negatives and how am I going to cope. She also keeping going on about how my other children will suffer. It is really annoying, especially since my brother and his wife are having their first baby in Feb and my mum is so excited! To add to the annoyance she does not even help us with child care so it is not like it is more of a burden to her. We have not told me in law's, largely because in general they are critical and anxious people, not a good combination. I just am not feeling up to dealing with their negative, anxious comments at the minute.

So sorry your sister reacted like that, sending hugs, hope your ok x o

thanks we are the same, nobody has our kids for us and we don't take anything from anyone but you can bet they will all have their opinions. I'm largely where I think "how will it actually affect anyone" but us but then people always like to stick their oar in....we have yet to tell our other children and any mothers, mine lives in another country!! x

[purple]

What a lovely room but are you going to go pink pink pink for your girl or an alternative colour? X

Well I'm not really into pink that much. I was looking at some purple and mint decor on pinterest. I already have some purple curtains we can use that were left from the previous owners who had a girl and boy.

[purple]

Baby2016, sorry your sister was so rude. Does she have kids?

[Brandles]

Brandles, did the person who did the 15/16wk scan know much about determining gender? I'm paranoid my 15 wk scan will somehow be wrong even though it was done somewhere they specialize in checking the gender. Just over a week until it gets confirmed!

Ugh, yes... that's what made it so hard. It was a place that specializes in gender after 13 weeks. :(

[Burakoam]

Thank you for sharing brandles. i am sure its hard to relive that. It does give me hope though. I am used to seeing my girl nubs...really easily actually which is funny since they all ended up girls...they would at certain angles be really long and flat..this one i am wondering HARD if i had a stacked nub behind legs because i couldnt see ANYTHING

[lindz]

Well I'm not really into pink that much. I was looking at some purple and mint decor on pinterest. I already have some purple curtains we can use that were left from the previous owners who had a girl and boy.

Mint and purple would be so cute!


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[baby2016baby]

Baby2016, sorry your sister was so rude. Does she have kids?

Yes my sister has my nephew. He's an only child. My sister is on her own and she's really struggled with being a mam.

My daughter's adore him and i know they are going to be gutted. Whenever we have joked with the older two, they say "only if it's a boy mam" and "I dont want another sister" which is why we have held off telling them. I'm not strong enough to deal with them upset too when I'm still not coping myself. I had my nephew over yesterday and it was so lovely, the girls adore him, I cried when he went home.

[Lissastick]

Magical, did you get gender confirmed after all?

Lissa glad to see you pop up! How are you feeling?
I'm feeling pretty nauseous still! Haha. And still pretty worried about losing the baby. I am still not letting myself be happy.

Only two weeks now until the blood test!

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[jenren]

Yes my sister has my nephew. He's an only child. My sister is on her own and she's really struggled with being a mam.

My daughter's adore him and i know they are going to be gutted. Whenever we have joked with the older two, they say "only if it's a boy mam" and "I dont want another sister" which is why we have held off telling them. I'm not strong enough to deal with them upset too when I'm still not coping myself. I had my nephew over yesterday and it was so lovely, the girls adore him, I cried when he went home.
I'm sorry :( my oldest ds tells me daily he wants a sister. Whenever I say it might be a boy he says "no I don't want another brother":/

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[Burakoam]

so sorry jen and baby..you are not alone...it seems once you hit the 4 kid mark with one gender the others are really adamant NO MORE unless its finally a brother or a sister...Jen i know you took that sneak peak test right? you havent had a scan yet? if so im still holding out hope for you.

[All*blue*everything]

My boys are desperate for this baby to be a girl one of them has told their teacher and whole class that I am pregnant with a girl, ive explained to him that we don't know if it is a girl and he burst into tears saying but I really want it to be a girl, bless them, that's another reason i want to wait til delivery to find out gender I figure everyone will fall in love with the baby and be so happy its here safe that the gender won't matter x

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[jenren]

so sorry jen and baby..you are not alone...it seems once you hit the 4 kid mark with one gender the others are really adamant NO MORE unless its finally a brother or a sister...Jen i know you took that sneak peak test right? you havent had a scan yet? if so im still holding out hope for you.
Yes it was a sneak peak but last week my midwife did an us on an old machine she has and although we couldn't get a potty shot she said she would bet it was a boy. At the end she said maybe girl but most likely a boy. My scan is in one week

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[Burakoam]

And i know you dont wanna hold out hope hon i understand why but just know i am rooting for you that maybe her 'maybe' will be the correct guess. one more week till you know for sure! my ultrasound is on saturday....

[jenren]

And i know you dont wanna hold out hope hon i understand why but just know i am rooting for you that maybe her 'maybe' will be the correct guess. one more week till you know for sure! my ultrasound is on saturday....
Awww thanks! Good luck at your scan Saturday. I'll be thinking of you :)

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[jdd1017]

I cried at my checkup yesterday. The midwife asked what I was having since it wasn't written down so I had to tell her boy and just started crying. For some reason saying it out loud is so hard, it's final and definite, no hope left that someone screwed up and it's a girl. Hadn't met her before so great first impression. By some miracle she has two boys and is done having kids so she could at least relate. It was still probably pretty shocking to her considering here she was telling me everything looked great at the anatomy scan and I have a healthy little baby, and there I was completely indifferent. She wants me to try therapy so I can start enjoying this pregnancy. I guess I could try a couple sessions, but I feel like it will be a waste of time and money


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Lindz, don't feel bad-after my NT scan when we found out we were having a boy I had tears in my eyes while I was getting my lab drawn-pretty sure the lab tech thought I was prob terrified of needles haha. Then I proceeded to cry in the waiting room and in the patient room. I wasn't crying enough for anyone to say anything, just tears in my eyes that I quickly wiped away but it was still awful. I too acted completely indifferent when the OB was telling me my scan looked great. All I cared about was getting out of the office so I could finally let loose and sob like I wanted to. It was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever done, holding it together for that hour until I was out the door of the office.

I have thought about telling my OB that I want to get on depression meds due to GD, but he is a male and I just feel like he wouldn't understand GD:(

[jdd1017]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am due with my third baby boy on April 2 (I will have a third c-section so it will be sometime during week 39). I have been feeling so heartbroken and angry since finding out I am having another boy. I know that my husband does not want anymore children but honestly one of the only things getting me through right now is thinking about doing IVF with PGD for a daughter in a couple of years- even though I know it is too expensive for us and my husband will refuse. I also don't know much about it as I just learned about it this weekend through research online. I just feel like I need something to give me hope. Just goes to show how futile and relentless hope can be. I don't know why I can't just be happy and accept that I will have three boys. I truly feel like I have lost my daughter, even though she was never real. I can't let her go and it's tearing me apart. Thank you listening and I pray we can all find some peace that are struggling with GD.


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Welcome Dreams4Violet! I am so so sorry to hear about your DS#3 You are not alone, there are so many of us in this group that have gotten sway opposites. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me! I too recently found out I am pregnant with DS3. I can honestly say it has probably been one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever experienced. I feel like I lost a child, even though she was never there. I imagined what she would look like, how I would raise her to be strong and smart and independent, I imagined doing fun girl things together when she becomes an adult, and eventually being there for her when she has her first baby and is exhausted and struggling and thinks she is failing.That's just the tip of the iceberg on the things that I will miss out on now that I will never have a girl. I feel like everyone thinks I wanted a girl so I had a baby to dress up, and yes-that is definitely part of it haha-but there is so much more that I will never have. I see people with more than one daughter and I think "why not me, I just wanted one girl"! I have heard the term "boy mom" thrown around a lot lately, like it's a badge of honor. But I can't seem to embrace it...and to be honest, I'm not sure if I ever will.

I guess I am trying to say, I understand what you are going through. I hope that, in time, all of us can accept the hand we were dealt and learn to be happy with it. But I know for me, it will take a very long time to get to that point...

[jdd1017]

Yes it was a sneak peak but last week my midwife did an us on an old machine she has and although we couldn't get a potty shot she said she would bet it was a boy. At the end she said maybe girl but most likely a boy. My scan is in one week

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Oh man jenren, I so hope she was wrong!!!!!!! Keep us posted!!

[jdd1017]

With DS1 he was a surprise didn't know what he was till birth. With DS2 I was told at my 12 week NT scan he was 80% chance of being a boy I had a gender scan with him at 16 weeks and I asked if i could have a look before she said anything. So she held the scan in position for me to see and have a look and I had no idea what I was looking at lol couldn't see a definite boy. But I also didn't know as much back then as I do now. I have excepted this is DS3 I had booked a gender scan for this Bub before my 12 week scan and I had to pay a deposit so I might as well go. Seeing him in a better mind might be a good thing. I'm booked for the 4th November. After my scan since I have the day off I'm going to go shopping for Bub and spend some $$ buying some cute outfits might help.

I'm not in to much pain today with the gallstones it comes and goes more blood tests tomorrow, they are just worried about inflammation and infection.

I also bought some paint the other day to do bubs nursery like this [emoji1370].

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20161017/3654c8385b6f4f57fb98cb9b17c8d7c8.jpg


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That is such a cute nursery!!!! I love it!! I think you and I are coping the exact same way lol!!! I think I'm going to make my family broke trying to get excited about this baby haha!!;)

[Girlieplease]

Good luck for your scan tomorrow burakoam, will be thinking about you!

I have my booking scan on Tuesday am bricking it already, two people on another dd group am on have had mmc! :-(

[Cinss]

GMarie are you still around? Haven't seen you post for a while, how is your pregnancy going?

[Cinss]

Nessa84 are you still around? Haven't seen you post for a while either. How is your pregnancy going?

[Burakoam]

1 hr until show time. :babyf: :babym:

[GMarie]

GMarie are you still around? Haven't seen you post for a while, how is your pregnancy going?

I ended up having another miscarriage, number 4 this year. :broken: I'm in the tww now, we gave up swaying blue and are just trying for a baby now.

[3'sacharm]

How did it go burakoam?? Been thinking of you x

[3'sacharm]

Sorry to hear that gmarie x

[Cinss]

I ended up having another miscarriage, number 4 this year. :broken: I'm in the tww now, we gave up swaying blue and are just trying for a baby now.
Oh no im so sorry to hear this 😔