Vasectomy?

[atomic sagebrush]

I have been operating under the apparently mistaken assumption that doctors generally won't do a man's vasectomy without his wife's approval. I'm really curious what the laws are and what the "rules" ethically are - does anyone know?

[3'sacharm]

In uk, it's preferred that the wife is in agreement but by no means a prerequisite.x

[glory]

My husband went in without me (I knew he was going) and I was never contacted to see if I was OK with it. I am Australia. He apparently just asked how many kids we have and when he said 4, he said, thats enough.

[Wantanother2017]

No, you are you're own person and can't be mandated to get approval from family members. Much like a woman doesn't need her partners consent for a tubal.


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[momamia4]

I think it depends on the doctor. I don't think there are actually any laws regarding it. I did not need my husband's permission to get my tubes tied. I'm in Michigan.

[The Anchor]

In Canada, the initial appointment is a psychological one, the next is the procedure. The man may bring his partner, but he is not required to...

[Erin514]

There are many, many cases of doctors refusing to do a tubal on women they arbitrarily decide are too young (I'm talking about people over the age of majority, like a 25-year-old with no kids), because they worry she might change her mind. I've read a few essays on this topic in the news. I feel like something similar is probably happening when you hear about doctors refusing to do a tubal/vasectomy without spousal consent -- there is no requirement in law to get consent from anyone for a person over the age of majority who is mentally competent, but some doctors are concerned that the patient might want a reversal down the line so they are very cautious, whereas others may just ahead and do it.

[ME MOM]

In Israel a man doesn't need spousal consent for a vasectomy. It's not part of our national health service and is done privately at about $1200 whilst almost all our fertility services are mostly free.

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[atomic sagebrush]

There are many, many cases of doctors refusing to do a tubal on women they arbitrarily decide are too young (I'm talking about people over the age of majority, like a 25-year-old with no kids), because they worry she might change her mind. I've read a few essays on this topic in the news. I feel like something similar is probably happening when you hear about doctors refusing to do a tubal/vasectomy without spousal consent -- there is no requirement in law to get consent from anyone for a person over the age of majority who is mentally competent, but some doctors are concerned that the patient might want a reversal down the line so they are very cautious, whereas others may just ahead and do it.

Yeah, I think this is partly why this is sticking in my craw a bit. There's lots of women who want tubals at young ages (hey, I read Slate magazine LOL) and doctors won't do it. There's other doctors that are pushing tubals onto people who are not thrilled with the idea. And in order to get an abortion women have to jump thru all these hoops (at least in the US) listen to the heartbeat, have counselling, etc (and I'm not saying either of those things is at all wrong, just pointing out the double standard - altho I do think the docs pushing tubals IS wrong and I've seen enough people who were pressured into it by a doctor or a spouse that I can say 100% this does happen and it is not rare) But then a married dude shows up and they're all like "hellz ya, roll them nutz right on in here, time for some snippin'".

It's just this same idea that pisses me off again and again where despite the biological reality that women's fertility is limited AND we're the ones who have to do the majority of the work, men are in charge.

It really makes very little sense to me because there is an easy fix - men don't want a baby, don't have sex. OR wear a condom. It's that simple. It's not a mystery how it happens. No man is being forced to have a baby they don't want because they don't have a vasectomy. All a vasectomy is, is a guarantee that it will NEVER happen and that there is no room for negotiation or changing of hearts/minds.

While I do of course agree that we are all our own people and our bodies are ours to own, a marriage is to some extent, a contract that involves child rearing and it seems a bit questionable in my mind that a husband can unilaterally decide this. It's as if two business partners signed any contract and then one party breaks that contract without the agreement of the other party.

This is totally going on my list. :p

[ME MOM]

I can totally see what you're getting at atomic, a marriage is really a contract in that sense and there can be an element of breaking this bond if one side does tubes or vasectomy without the other side knowing. My heart goes out to those on such a position.

What you said about abortions in the US in regards to having to listen to the heartbeat sounds very difficult!! I've actually read a lot about this (Row v. Wade) since l enjoy seeing your presidency delegations now :)

Here unmarried women can get financed, legal abortions fairly easily and quickly at any hospital. Married women have to turn to an abortion committee that's in the hospital but it's a formality and if a woman clearly states she doesn't want the pregnancy it's done fairly quick.
Her husband isn't a part in this since it's her body, though again it has to do with both of them. The committee has psychologists that sometimes call the two in for counseling and ask for continued counseling for the couple or woman, if it's needed.
On the other hand, PGD is illegal and not available for gender choosing unless for very rare cases.

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[Erin514]

Yeah, I think this is partly why this is sticking in my craw a bit. There's lots of women who want tubals at young ages (hey, I read Slate magazine LOL) and doctors won't do it. There's other doctors that are pushing tubals onto people who are not thrilled with the idea. And in order to get an abortion women have to jump thru all these hoops (at least in the US) listen to the heartbeat, have counselling, etc (and I'm not saying either of those things is at all wrong, just pointing out the double standard - altho I do think the docs pushing tubals IS wrong and I've seen enough people who were pressured into it by a doctor or a spouse that I can say 100% this does happen and it is not rare) But then a married dude shows up and they're all like "hellz ya, roll them nutz right on in here, time for some snippin'".

It's just this same idea that pisses me off again and again where despite the biological reality that women's fertility is limited AND we're the ones who have to do the majority of the work, men are in charge.

It really makes very little sense to me because there is an easy fix - men don't want a baby, don't have sex. OR wear a condom. It's that simple. It's not a mystery how it happens. No man is being forced to have a baby they don't want because they don't have a vasectomy. All a vasectomy is, is a guarantee that it will NEVER happen and that there is no room for negotiation or changing of hearts/minds.

While I do of course agree that we are all our own people and our bodies are ours to own, a marriage is to some extent, a contract that involves child rearing and it seems a bit questionable in my mind that a husband can unilaterally decide this. It's as if two business partners signed any contract and then one party breaks that contract without the agreement of the other party.

This is totally going on my list. :p

Yes, there really is a double-standard. Reproductive decisions seem to become a proxy for a lot of other biases in society. Here in Canada, it was disturbingly common for Aboriginal women to be given tubal litigation without their consent well up until the 80s (as in, you go in for gallbladder surgery and they just do it while they're in there) because doctors believed they were "helping" a problem of some type (non-white people reproducing?). There was even a recent case this past summer in Saskatchewan where an Aboriginal woman revoked her consent for the tubal on her way to surgery because she felt her doctor had really pressured her into it and the doctors just sedated her and did it anyway. Insane.

[ME MOM]

That poor woman, what a hard story Erin!

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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, exactly there are some utterly shocking stories here too about that very thing. Grr.

I even got a little pressure from my own doctor, he was like (this was with my 4th) "If we have a c-section don't you just want to have your tubes tied" and I was like, "NO" and then he was all, "but are you really sure, it would be so easy" and I was like WTF dude. I can really see how someone who was under any pressure at all from a family member (husband, that is) might cave in and say, "well, yes, I guess, if I'm having a c-section anyway, I suppose that makes sense" without really wanting one.