Sad news and please help **** warning graphic picture of loss on pg 5

[honeybee37]

I found out an early scan yesterday that my baby has died. I should be 8+6 but the baby's heart has stopped (we saw the heartbeat 11 days earlier). Feel absolutely devastated and can't help blame myself for this happening.
Today I have to go to hospital to discuss options and as I've never been through this, I have no idea what to go for. I've heard the tablets are absolutely excruciating and I think I've ruled those out, so the two choice I have are wait for a natural miscarriage or have a D and C. Both those scare me. I worry about complications from the operation and I just want to conceive as quickly as possible afterwards. I don't know what to do. I've been awake literally the whole night worrying. Any advice would be ghratefully received... thank you all


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[purple]

I'm very sorry about your loss honeybee :(

I have experience with all 3 of those options. The first time I opted for a d&c and physically it was pretty good and was over quickly. Later I worried I opted for it too soon as mine as a blighted ovum and I read that they were sometimes misdiagnosed. This is one reason why I chose to leave it to happen naturally the next time even though I had two scans and knew that pregnancy would not work out. The natural miscarriage started right on 9 weeks although the baby was only about 5.5 weeks in size. It wasn't too painful but I lost a lot of blood and ended up in emergency and then had a d&c again. This d&c did leave me with some stitches on my cervix which I only discovered when I checked my cervix position so I found it upsetting that no one had mentioned it to me.

My 3rd miscarriage was like your situation and I had seen the heartbeat in a scan and thought everything was ok until I got some spotting and went for another scan to discover the heart had stopped. Due to my previous m/c where I needed a blood transfusion they didn't want me to leave it to happen at home and I had to choose between a d&c or the tablets. I didn't want to do another d&c so I opted for the tablets and was admitted to hospital to be monitored while it happened. It was more painful than the natural one but that would have been because the sac was bigger (about 8wks). I remember wishing at one point that I had just opted for the d&c as it did get difficult towards the end but once it was over I felt revealed and glad I went through the process.

It is a hard choice to make and I don't think any option is that much better than the other. I hope you can decide which option is right for you. Take care.

[MrsSparkles]

I found out an early scan yesterday that my baby has died. I should be 8+6 but the baby's heart has stopped (we saw the heartbeat 11 days earlier). Feel absolutely devastated and can't help blame myself for this happening.
Today I have to go to hospital to discuss options and as I've never been through this, I have no idea what to go for. I've heard the tablets are absolutely excruciating and I think I've ruled those out, so the two choice I have are wait for a natural miscarriage or have a D and C. Both those scare me. I worry about complications from the operation and I just want to conceive as quickly as possible afterwards. I don't know what to do. I've been awake literally the whole night worrying. Any advice would be ghratefully received... thank you all


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I am so so sorry.
Practical advice - with my ectopic they had me wait it out, it was for the best in the end, and everything passed naturally.
Although the wait took over a month, and felt like longer.
They offered me an injection, or laproscopy op, but could not give me the tablet as was not in the uterus.
I am glad that I went with the wait now.
I've had 3 D&C's, 1 under sedation which was much better than the other 2 (totally knocked out).

[Dreamsister]

So sorry to hear about your loss. It sucks.
I had a missed abortion in July where foetus stopped growing at around week six. I did never hear heart beat so don't know if it was ever a living foetus or a false. I waited to let my body do the MC natually and I am glad I did so. It passed quick and smooth, a lot of blood but no pain, at week 7-8. After that my Hcg-level decreased stadily and in 2-3 weeks I was good and ready to TTC again. If I was you I would take it naturally or take the pill while being motionered at the hospital.
Good luck. Hope it goes quick. You will be allright again. Just give yourself time your to grieve and heal. Hugs


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) [emoji173] DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) [emoji1326] DH (38) [emoji144] TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[Pink Pony]

So sorry honeybee- I have had a d and c before, it wasn't bad, they put me to sleep, woke up and it was all finished, bled for a while after.

I am sure if u are prepared for what to expect, it might be easier to pass naturally. I have been ttc for ages now and nothing, who knows maybe the d and c had something to do with it.

Either way, I wish you everything of the best.

[honeybee37]

Thanks so much everyone. I just can't stop crying :( I know that sounds pathetic but I have spent the entire night reading horror stories online and scaring myself silly. Every time I open my mouth to speak, I cry :( Have phoned work and am off all week - they were lovely. I have an appointment tomorrow at 1:30 to discuss options but my inclination is to wait for a natural. My sickness has completely vanished and I am having the occasional period type pain so I'm hoping it may begin soon. My big fears are infertility from the D and C, losing a lot of blood and being very ill, and infection. I just want this over with. I never knew it would be so hard to make this decisions and that I would feel so unbelievably heartbroken. Thank you so much for all your replies. It's comforting to know that others have been here and got through it. At the minute it feels impossible that I will get through this so it is good to know others have. Thank you. Xxx


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[honeybee37]

Those of you who've had a natural miscarriage, did it start off suddenly or escalate? I don't know if I dare go to the shops in case it all suddenly gushes out?


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[twointow83]

I found out an early scan yesterday that my baby has died. I should be 8+6 but the baby's heart has stopped (we saw the heartbeat 11 days earlier). Feel absolutely devastated and can't help blame myself for this happening.
Today I have to go to hospital to discuss options and as I've never been through this, I have no idea what to go for. I've heard the tablets are absolutely excruciating and I think I've ruled those out, so the two choice I have are wait for a natural miscarriage or have a D and C. Both those scare me. I worry about complications from the operation and I just want to conceive as quickly as possible afterwards. I don't know what to do. I've been awake literally the whole night worrying. Any advice would be ghratefully received... thank you all


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I am so sorry for your loss :'( Hugs and prayers.

I have three angels. I had a late-term loss born vaginally at 20 weeks 5 days, an early loss D&C, and an early loss that frankly was a nightmare due to medical mistake where the pregnancy was thought to be ectopic. They did a D&C and gave me 2 methotrexate shots only to discover that it was not ectopic (upon discovering baby in utero but it was too late the medicine ended the pregnancy). The vaginal birth was just like any other vaginal birth (except that the bag of water refused to break) & it did not impede me trying again. My doctor said one normal cycle which was roughly a month and a half from the date of loss. The D&C was quick and emotionally easier to handle than my other losses from the standpoint that there was no guesswork, it was done, it was over and I could grieve. As always my doctor said I needed to wait one normal cycle. However, I needed 3 months before I felt like I was completely healed physically. My period was especially painful for the next 3 months- feeling much like it did immediately after the D&C. I also had a chemical pregnancy 2 months after the procedure but I don't know for sure that that was due to the D&C. May 3rd loss was atypical so your experience may be completely different. I had the D&C so I had to deal with that again but I also had the shots. I did not actually lose the baby for about a month after the shot and procedure... but to be fair baby had a heart beat, weak but there, for about a week after everything so it took about two and a half to three and a half weeks to complete. That one was by far the most physically difficult as well as emotionally difficult. Emotionally, in addition to having feelings in regards to ending a viable pregnancy (unintentional or otherwise), I also had to deal with the fact that I was pregnant but not really. It really messed with my head. Physically, the day it happened started off painful but tolerable. However, it quickly went from tolerable to intolerable. I couldn't figure out why until I actually passed the baby's tissues early the next morning. Apparently, I was going through labor. which was odd because my actual late-term vaginal delivery with pitocin was more tolerable. Although it may have been a combination of confusion about what was happening as well as the emotional aspect that made it worse. I will never know for sure and can only speculate. I am fairly certain that healing from the D&C played a role.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[honeybee37]

Twointow83, how absolutely horrendous. I am sorry you had to go through all those things. And to everyone who replied - I should have said how sorry I was that you've all been through losses. It really is such an awful thing to go through.
Nothing is happening here. No cramps or spotting. I still have sore boobs but the sickness has gone. I just don't know what to expect really but I'd ideally like to pass it naturally and go to hospital if necessary. We are only five minutes away so I suppose that's reassuring in some way.


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[MrsSparkles]

Nothing happened for a while with my ectopic.
Took a day after the period cramps to kick in, and then stopped and restarted again.
But I think mine was cos it was stuck in the tube still, and only bits coming

And it is normal to cry, I took to my bed for 4 days and was crying almost constantly

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear this.

You are not to blame for your loss - it is a normal feeling but very very few losses are caused by anything a women did or didn't do (and the ones that are, are things that are easy to avoid like drinking and drug use during pregnancy).

I don't have any advice b/c my losses were early and natural but just please let me know if I can help you in any way.

[twointow83]

I forgot to say but while I understand feeling like it's your fault it really isn't. Sometimes crap happens and we are not at fault for it. It's okay to cry. It's okay to scream. How ever you feel the need to grieve do so. Only by allowing yourself to grieve fully and completely without reservation will you be able to move forward. I always felt like the biggest whiniest baby because I alternated between completely numb and bawling my eyes out. Talking it out help me but I always felt like doing so was a burden on others. They never complained or anything just the way I felt. Bottom line don't hold it in do something bigger small memory love your little one if that helps you. Just make sure you are dealing with it and not ignoring it as that will only let it Fester and make it worse in the long run. Pregnancy after loss it's hard enough without adding emotions you haven't dealt with to the overwhelming beer cry. Its okay to scream. However you feel the need to grieve do so. Only by allowing yourself to grieve fully and completely without reservation will you be able to move forward. I always felt like the biggest wine East baby because I alternating between completely numb and bawling my eyes out. Talking it out helped me but I always felt like doing so was a burden on others. They never complained or anything just the way I felt. Bottom line don't hold it in do something bigger small in memory of your little one if that helps you. Just make sure you are dealing with it and not ignoring it as that will only let it faster and make it worse in the long run. Pregnancy after loss is hard enough without adding emotions you haven't dealt with to the overwhelming fear that pregnancy after a loss brings.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[honeybee37]

Twointow83, how absolutely horrendous. I am sorry you had to go through all those things. And to everyone who replied - I should have said how sorry I was that you've all been through losses. It really is such an awful thing to go through.
Nothing is happening here. No cramps or spotting. I still have sore boobs but the sickness has gone. I just don't know what to expect really but I'd ideally like to pass it naturally and go to hospital if necessary. We are only five minutes away so I suppose that's reassuring in some way.


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[honeybee37]

Twointow that's how I feel right now. Like the biggest cry baby. I'm either shaking either fear or crying or just completely numb. I didn't want to see the dead baby on the screen at the scan place and made them cover the screen. Then I felt awful for not wanting to see my baby. I just couldn't deal with looking at this lifeless blob that had had a heartbeat two weeks previously. I really really wish I could fast forward and it be Christmas Eve and this all over and complete but unfortunately I can't. I'm just struggling to be a grown up and deal with it right now!


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[honeybee37]

Nothing happened for a while with my ectopic.
Took a day after the period cramps to kick in, and then stopped and restarted again.
But I think mine was cos it was stuck in the tube still, and only bits coming

And it is normal to cry, I took to my bed for 4 days and was crying almost constantly

MrsSparkles thanks for coming over here from the DD board, I appreciate that so much. How far along was your loss? Did you feel it was manageable physically?


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[MrsGoodies]

I'm so sorry Honeybee.

I've had 4 losses.

1 @ 7 weeks which was like a heavy period

2 natural @ 10 weeks, and an emegency d&c @ 12 weeks (i wanted natural but they were twins so I lost 2x the blood but avoided a transfusion)

The worst was the d&c. I was sore for a week and my period never returned for 7 weeks. It took almost a year for my periods to return to normal. They went from HHMLL to MMLL and i was terrified of scarring.

My most recent mc was at 10 weeks and here are a few tips to help it go smoothly for you:

1) start drinking red raspberry leaf tea 3-4x per day which tones the uterus in prep for labor. Continue until red bleeding stops. This tea helped a lot. My contractions were way smoother than when I did not drink the tea.

2) During the m/c stay hydrated with gatorade (keeps your electrolytes balanced)

3) get yourself some Depends disposable underwear for the first few hrs of really heavy bleeding (maxi pads just make a mess of your panties, pj and bedsheets)

4) get a rx for some Tylenol 3. I only needed these for the first couple days.

5) have a hospital bag packed and ready to go just in case

6) make sure someone is home with you when the bleeding starts.

7) Optional: have an Anora kit sent to you & get a mc test done (i found out my twins were normal boys, and my girl had chrom problems. It helped knowing the gender of the babies, naming them, finding out the problem etc). You will need a strainer over the toilet to collect the placenta and sack. Place this in a sterile container with saline and keep in the fridge until sending out for testing.

8) your mc will start when your progesterone levels drop below 10 ng/L. This can take days or a few weeks. If you are getting anxious have your progesterone level monitored every few days to see where you are at.

9) start taking 50 mL/day of Floravix liquid iron supplement now and thru the first month after the mc. During the mc you will lose blood and your hemoglobin levels will drop. The iron will help you replace these bloodcells quickly. Yes the dose on the bottle is 20 mL/day but you can double the dose no problem.

[honeybee37]

MrsGoodies, that list is fantastic - thank you so much. Dh is hunting down where to buy the tea from now. I'm in the uk.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this ordeal four times [emoji20] x


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[MrsGoodies]

Hi honeybee,

I know they have Red Raspberry leaf tea & Floradix in the UK.

For #8, your mc will start when your progesterone levels drop below 30 nmol/L (10 ng/L)

[honeybee37]

Hi honeybee,

I know they have Red Raspberry leaf tea & Floradix in the UK.

For #8, your mc will start when your progesterone levels drop below 30 nmol/L (10 ng/L)

Yes I've just ordered some off Amazon to be delivered tomorrow. Thank you [emoji846]


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[purple]

With my natural m/c it started with bright red spotting / light bleeding on the Wednesday night I felt releived it was going to start on it's own. I wasn't cramping so I went to work but had hubby on call to pick me up. It didn't end up starting until Saturday arvo and we had time to drive back from the other side of town and then I popped out to the shop to get more pads. Once at home it got quite heavy but I only really had mild period cramps and just took some paracetamol. I was soaking through pads very quickly and should have gone to the ED earlier but I was silly and left it until I passed out and DH called an ambulance. I don't think this is something that happens thst commonly but just try not to ignore it like I did! I was feeling faint and cold so I should have gone sooner.

Everyone is quite different but I think you should have time to get back home if it starts. I hope it all goes well. Give yourself time to heal. I stupidly went back to work the Tuesday after and was a mess (no one knew about it either).

[honeybee37]

With my natural m/c it started with bright red spotting / light bleeding on the Wednesday night I felt releived it was going to start on it's own. I wasn't cramping so I went to work but had hubby on call to pick me up. It didn't end up starting until Saturday arvo and we had time to drive back from the other side of town and then I popped out to the shop to get more pads. Once at home it got quite heavy but I only really had mild period cramps and just took some paracetamol. I was soaking through pads very quickly and should have gone to the ED earlier but I was silly and left it until I passed out and DH called an ambulance. I don't think this is something that happens thst commonly but just try not to ignore it like I did! I was feeling faint and cold so I should have gone sooner.

Everyone is quite different but I think you should have time to get back home if it starts. I hope it all goes well. Give yourself time to heal. I stupidly went back to work the Tuesday after and was a mess (no one knew about it either).

Oh how scary Purple... did you end up having a blood transfusion? So happy you are pregnant now. Nothing is happening here yet and I just want it to start on its own, like you did. I am a teacher and I spoke to the deputy yesterday. I ended up crying down the phone and she insisted I didn't come in all week even though I said nothing might happen this week. I'm relieved not to have to be in work feeling like this though. Hospital appointment at 1:30 today so I'll see what they say...


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[purple]

Oh how scary Purple... did you end up having a blood transfusion? So happy you are pregnant now. Nothing is happening here yet and I just want it to start on its own, like you did. I am a teacher and I spoke to the deputy yesterday. I ended up crying down the phone and she insisted I didn't come in all week even though I said nothing might happen this week. I'm relieved not to have to be in work feeling like this though. Hospital appointment at 1:30 today so I'll see what they say...


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I ended up with 2 units of blood. It was quite a traumatic experience. I'm glad you are able to have some time off as I think I pushed myself to get on with it too soon.

I really don't want to scare you from the natural option as I would still consider it again (not that I plan to ever be pregnant again after this one!). I just like to make sure no one ignores the heavy bleeding like I did.

[twointow83]

I forgot to say but while I understand feeling like it's your fault it really isn't. Sometimes crap happens and we are not at fault for it. It's okay to cry. It's okay to scream. How ever you feel the need to grieve do so. Only by allowing yourself to grieve fully and completely without reservation will you be able to move forward. I always felt like the biggest whiniest baby because I alternated between completely numb and bawling my eyes out. Talking it out help me but I always felt like doing so was a burden on others. They never complained or anything just the way I felt. Bottom line don't hold it in do something bigger small memory love your little one if that helps you. Just make sure you are dealing with it and not ignoring it as that will only let it Fester and make it worse in the long run. Pregnancy after loss it's hard enough without adding emotions you haven't dealt with to the overwhelming beer cry. Its okay to scream. However you feel the need to grieve do so. Only by allowing yourself to grieve fully and completely without reservation will you be able to move forward. I always felt like the biggest wine East baby because I alternating between completely numb and bawling my eyes out. Talking it out helped me but I always felt like doing so was a burden on others. They never complained or anything just the way I felt. Bottom line don't hold it in do something bigger small in memory of your little one if that helps you. Just make sure you are dealing with it and not ignoring it as that will only let it faster and make it worse in the long run. Pregnancy after loss is hard enough without adding emotions you haven't dealt with to the overwhelming fear that pregnancy after a loss brings.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗
Wow... talk to text really had fun here lol. Hope u understood enough to get the point.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[twointow83]

Twointow that's how I feel right now. Like the biggest cry baby. I'm either shaking either fear or crying or just completely numb. I didn't want to see the dead baby on the screen at the scan place and made them cover the screen. Then I felt awful for not wanting to see my baby. I just couldn't deal with looking at this lifeless blob that had had a heartbeat two weeks previously. I really really wish I could fast forward and it be Christmas Eve and this all over and complete but unfortunately I can't. I'm just struggling to be a grown up and deal with it right now!


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Hugs. That is completely normal. Everyone reacts is loss in their own way but it's always a massive pill to swallow an I completely understand not wanting your last memory of your baby to be a negative one. I promise it will get better as long as you allow yourself to work through it. Unfortunately, you are at a bit of a standstill. I was never able to let go and fully grieve until AFTER the loss was complete. BUT it will get better. A day at a time. Little by little. Hugs.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[honeybee37]

Thank you towintow. I am still stuck here in limbo. The scan yesterday showed that my body has absorbed the embryo which I find so weird because two weeks ago it had a heartbeat and everything. Even on Sunday it was there and measurable. The sac is still there but they can see two areas of bleeding in the uterus so even though I haven't had any bleeding yet, they are hopeful I will miscarry naturally. I just hate the waiting and worrying. It seems weird that my baby now doesn't even exist at all. I can't understand it.

In case Atomic reads this... should I take ubiquinol once I've miscarried do you think? I'm 35 and worried my eggs might be deteriorating. Or could the miscarriage be a one-off? I know you can't answer that. But I've not had one before and am scared to have another.

Anyway, thanks all again for so much helpful advice and most of all, support. This is such a great place to share such experiences and feel like there are people who have been through similar and understand, when it's not always that easy to talk in real life. So thanks everyone. X


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[honeybee37]

Am having really strong contractions but no bleeding is this normal do you think?? Am so scared


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[twointow83]

Yes. I bled before and after but during there was no bleeding. .. barely even any spotting.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[honeybee37]

That's what I'm experiencing. Haven't passed a spot of blood for entire pregnancy but been contracting for the past seven hours [emoji33]


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[honeybee37]

I popped both my babies out quicker than this!!


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[atomic sagebrush]

I'm hoping and praying it ends soon and is easy on you. :heart:

[MrsGoodies]

(Hugs) Honeybee.

Yes! The cramping is normal. It goes on for a few days before mc, gets very intense during the mc....then eases up and only comes when you are getting ready to pass another clot in the days following.

It really sucks!

1) You might pass a mucus plug first (looks like pink ewcm with bloody streaks in it)

2) you might have really wet panties/gush from water breaking

3) Then the spotting starts as your cervix starts to dilate.

4) After that comes the red clots and heavy bleeding (here's where you put on those disposable underwear)

Did you get the Tylenol 3 (with codine) prescription yet? It will help a lot....

Just realize your body knows what to do and stay calm and hydrated.

I'm afraid I will be joining you soon with miscarriage #5...4th in a row :(

[twointow83]

I popped both my babies out quicker than this!!


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My loss was harder than my still birth. Roughly the same amount of time bit no pain killers I had (including narcotics... I stock up. When I get hurt I use only what I have to and save the rest dor non emergency pain problems so I can avoid the ER as much as possible) did anything for the pain. Very intense.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[honeybee37]

(Hugs) Honeybee.

Yes! The cramping is normal. It goes on for a few days before mc, gets very intense during the mc....then eases up and only comes when you are getting ready to pass another clot in the days following.

It really sucks!

1) You might pass a mucus plug first (looks like pink ewcm with bloody streaks in it)

2) you might have really wet panties/gush from water breaking

3) Then the spotting starts as your cervix starts to dilate.

4) After that comes the red clots and heavy bleeding (here's where you put on those disposable underwear)

Did you get the Tylenol 3 (with codine) prescription yet? It will help a lot....

Just realize your body knows what to do and stay calm and hydrated.

I'm afraid I will be joining you soon with miscarriage #5...4th in a row :(

Oh no, mrsG, have you had a scan today? Oh I'm so sorry. It is absolutely rubbish and awful. We can support each other through this if you want to. My cramping stopped overnight and I still have no blood.



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[honeybee37]

My loss was harder than my still birth. Roughly the same amount of time bit no pain killers I had (including narcotics... I stock up. When I get hurt I use only what I have to and save the rest dor non emergency pain problems so I can avoid the ER as much as possible) did anything for the pain. Very intense.

Enjoying our [emoji304] [emoji703] [emoji166][emoji156]

I'm sorry twointow. I had no idea this process was so hard. My cramps have completely stopped now so I am no further along and no nearer the end. I went to bed terrified I would haemorrhage in the night and absolutely nothing happened so I'm still waiting. Sigh. Today is Ds1's birthday so I can be with him while he opens his presents which is nice.


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[MrsSparkles]

MrsSparkles thanks for coming over here from the DD board, I appreciate that so much. How far along was your loss? Did you feel it was manageable physically?


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Mine was 8 weeks the first time, and the others no more than 6.
The ectopic last time, they thought 6-8, but it was hard to tell as nothing was seen.
I felt different each time, he ectopic was harder because it went on so long, but easier because it was natural.
It sounds so silly, but somehow I felt like it was my bodies way of making up for the loss, by passing naturally.

[purple]

I'm sorry twointow. I had no idea this process was so hard. My cramps have completely stopped now so I am no further along and no nearer the end. I went to bed terrified I would haemorrhage in the night and absolutely nothing happened so I'm still waiting. Sigh. Today is Ds1's birthday so I can be with him while he opens his presents which is nice.



Please don't worry about hemorrhaging in bed, you would most likely wake up if it starts in your sleep. Just keep an eye on the number of pads you soak through and how frequently. If you are filling a pad every 20-30 mins then it is too much bleeding. With the one I lost too much blood it really was gushing out compared to my other miscarriage where it was more like a heavy period. Also if you start feeling cold then that is another sign of too much blood loss. You will be ok as you know the signs, maybe explain some things to look out for to your DH as well so he can be prepared.

Sorry you are still waiting but your body may be waiting for the right time for it too happen. I think mine waited until it was the weekend so I wasn't at work, you could be waiting until after your DS1's birthday.

[honeybee37]

Please don't worry about hemorrhaging in bed, you would most likely wake up if it starts in your sleep. Just keep an eye on the number of pads you soak through and how frequently. If you are filling a pad every 20-30 mins then it is too much bleeding. With the one I lost too much blood it really was gushing out compared to my other miscarriage where it was more like a heavy period. Also if you start feeling cold then that is another sign of too much blood loss. You will be ok as you know the signs, maybe explain some things to look out for to your DH as well so he can be prepared.

Sorry you are still waiting but your body may be waiting for the right time for it too happen. I think mine waited until it was the weekend so I wasn't at work, you could be waiting until after your DS1's birthday.

Thanks purple. I'll do that. Dh is very aware and is working from home. My labours were both incredibly quick and intense so he's worried once it starts, it may be similar although I don't know if labour is a predictor of how you will miscarry. The anticipation is really making me anxious now. Perhaps you're right about waiting - I was so worried about ds1 having a rubbish birthday. Tomorrow afternoon is his party so maybe it will begin once that is over. That would be hard in a way as it will be the weekend and the boys will be off school but we shall see. Thanks again for your reply.


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[purple]

My miscarriage this year was about 12 hours start to finish. My labours were much shorter, about 5 hours for ds1 and 2.5 for ds2.

It is great you have a very supportive husband who will help you through this difficult time (I'm sure it is hard for him too).

[honeybee37]

Thanks purple. It has completely stopped and I haven't lost as much as a spot of blood yet. I just hope I can avoid the tablets as I've heard bad things about them. Maybe like you, i was waiting for the weekend. It has to happen sometime, surely??


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[MrsGoodies]

How many weeks are you Honeybee?

I usually had to wait 2-3 weeks from the time I found out.

[honeybee37]

I would be ten weeks on Tuesday. I'm scared it'll be worse cos I'm getting to be fairly far along although the nurse at the hospital said nothing additional would have been created since the baby died. How are you getting in MrsG?


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[atomic sagebrush]

No advice, just :pray: and :heart: to all.

[honeybee37]

Thanks Atomic. I had a smear of blood this morning and so thought it was beginning, but the cramps that were getting pretty painful have completely stopped again. I am getting sick of being in no mans land and basically just wallowing a bit! Hospital on Tuesday. Am so p*ssed off this is happening :( (sorry)


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[MrsGoodies]

Thanks Atomic. I had a smear of blood this morning and so thought it was beginning, but the cramps that were getting pretty painful have completely stopped again. I am getting sick of being in no mans land and basically just wallowing a bit! Hospital on Tuesday. Am so p*ssed off this is happening :( (sorry)



(Hugs) Honeybee,

It sounds like it will be starting soon. I had 3-4 days of spotting pink/brown before it started.

*don't be shocked when it does start that the cramps and blood will be intense for a few hours. It really is more like a mini labor than a "heavy period" like the dumb hospital always likes to go on about.

Have you been drinking the Red Raspberry tea?

I really am pissed too! #4 mc in a row for me and just when I finally get off of swaying and can eat whatever I want, I have to start all over. Part of me wants to just throw my hands up and do whatever, but I did manage to conceive a girl after 5 boys with a strict sway. Too bad she didnt stick :(

I'm still in no mans land. only 8w2 and baby died over a week ago. I had a blood draw on Thurs and again later this week. Usually starts at 10w for me so i have a ways to wait yet... At least this will be over before Christmas. I really hope for a Christmas egg even though they say you don't normally O until after 1st AF.

[honeybee37]

Oh MrsG I am so with you on everything you say. I really thought it was starting last night as I had pretty bad pains in my lower back, but I woke up this morning to absolutely nothing. No more blood, no pain.... sigh. Am 10w on Tuesday. Like you, I have been eating what I want and mentally I don't think I can go back to the LE right now. Part of me is so desperate just to conceive, part of me thinks I'll be mad with myself if I don't try, having done the diet and exercise for the best part of a year!!!
I too absolutely can't wait for Christmas. I am not restricting myself this Christmas though as last year I was really into the LE. This year I really will eat what I want (I hardly eat meat anymore anyway but there will be plenty of cheese and plenty of wine!!)
MrsG I am sorry you are also stuck in this rubbish limbo, and also so sorry you've been through this so many times, I really am. Thank you for holding my hand through it! Keep me posted how you go. Oh, and yes the hospital told me the same "heavy period" story [emoji52]


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[MrsGoodies]

Oh, and yes the hospital told me the same "heavy period" story [emoji52]



Ooooohhhh, that just infuriates me when they do that!

I know the hospital staff thinks they are "helping" by not trying to scare women, but it really does the mother an injustice when she puts on her maxi pad like usual expecting a few small clots and instead she's doubled over the toilet with clots the size of lemons coming one after another.

Then you stand up to change the maxi and the blood keeps dripping out of you like a leaky faucet in starts & stops.

That's why i just slap on the adult disposable diapers and dont have to change a pad every 15 min.

Hope that's not too much detail but that's really what a natural mc is like at 10 weeks...it is nothing like a period. Knowledge is power and you shoukd know what to expect.

You must stay hydrated through it to keep your fluid levels up.

If you feel cold or clammy that's your clue to get to the hospital.

[honeybee37]

Thanks for that, MrsG. That's good advice. I've passed some pink blood today, and had quite a lot of cramps. And I've stocked up on pads and painkillers... really quite scared now though. How are you? Have you got an appointment for an ultrasound this week?


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[MrsGoodies]

(Hugs) Honeybee,

Its normal to be nervous the first time not knowing what to expect. I remember my first time..... @10 weeks DH went off to play baseball & I let him thinking just a "heavy period" was coming....then got the shock of my life when the clots were so darn huge. I'd never seen clots like that before in my life!

I was on the phone with the 911 operator thinking I was dying and she calmly tells me its all perfectly normal...amount of blood, size of clots...everything. She calmed me down quite a bit bc I was hysterically crying and panicking....

By the time DH got home 3 hr later the worst was over and I was in bed.

I'd say the worst lasts 2-3 hr at most.

With my twins after 5 hr it was not letting up at all, i was cold/clammy and needed an emergency D&C bc something got stuck apparently. That was my only mc where i needed help & i think its bc double the babies = double the blood loss.

I think you will be ok Honeybee. 10 weeks is still manageable.

[MrsGoodies]

GRAPHIC WARNING!

I am posting this picture for Honeybee's benefit so she know what to look for when collecting a miscarriage sample. I apologize in advance if this offends anyone.

Honeybee,

You will need a strainer to collect your clots.

Then you need to examine each one as they come out.

Regular blood clot looks like liver. It will break apart in your fingers and feels soft like Jello.

What you are looking for is a solid clot that wont break apart. It will be more fibrous.

When you carefully rinse it in pure saline it will have an outer membrane (the gestational sack) and then skin tone , feathery part (the feathery part is the chorionic villi and it is what is tested for genetic make-up much like in a CVS test)

Keep your sample in saline solution (needs to be 100% saline so check the label) in the fridge for up to 5 days (but really you should send it for testing asap)


33890

After you get this, you don't need to collect anymore clots.

Tip: the lab will only need a small part of the sample, so what I did was carefully cut it in 1/2 with scissors and saved 1/2 in my fridge just in case the lab screwed up for whatever reason.

After I got my report, I buried the other 1/2 from my fridge under a cherry tree and had a small memorial for my little one. :broken:

[honeybee37]

Thank you. I had no idea it would look like this - that's really helpful. I feel like I am ready to do this now.


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[MrsGoodies]

You're welcome Honeybee :)

I took pictures last time since info online was few & far between.

That's what it looks like all clean and pretty....

When it comes out it looks like a huge dark maroon clot about the size of a lemon You really need to handle it with care and wash in saline to make sure you have the right thing.

Have your clean container with saline ready on the counter so you aren't caught off guard.

.

[purple]

It was actually my smaller fetus that caused my bad m/c with exessive blood loss. I didn't even know when it passed as it was only aboy 5wks in size.

My one at 10wk it was around 8wks in size according to the ultrasound an I needed to push a bit at the end like in childbirth, although not as bad as it was smaller than a tennis ball. Mine was still complete in the sac so all I saw was a solid greyish lump. It was quite different to the photo above. It was the last part to come out for me but I have read other stories where it comes out sooner.

[honeybee37]

Did you feel the urge to push? I am having pretty bad cramps and lots of red blood. Only one small clot so far. I think I'll be up all night...


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[honeybee37]

The back pain right now is the worst thing


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[MrsGoodies]

Yes, i felt the need to push.

I had red bleeding Sat night and a strawberry size clot.

Then nothing much overnight.

Severe cramping 1pm Sun,
Pushing 5:30 pm
Passed the placenta/sack 5:45 pm
Heavy bleeding clots until 8 pm (needed to change 1 the depends 1 per hr)

Then heavy bleeding overnight but the worst had passed.

Heavy bleeding for an additional 4 days
Medium flow another 4 days
Light spotting another 7 days



Sorry for the backpain. Hopefuly painkillers will help.


(Hugs)

:bighug:

[GirlieCat]

So sorry honeybee. Thinking of you in this difficult time.

[honeybee37]

Well what a farce... am back from the hospital follow up scan. She said "good news! IThe baby has grown since last week!" It hasn't, but the trainee sonographer last week was unable to find it. It measures exactly what it measured at the private scan we had where they discovered it no longer had a heartbeat. But because the NHS can see growth, they are reluctant to offer interventions and have discharged me. No follow up or anything. Now the bleeding is back to spotting but I have back pain still and some cramps so I can only hope it will happen on its own. She did say the sac and baby are high up in my uterus and in her opinion, it won't happen soon but she also conceded that I know my body better than anyone. I am so, so fed up of this right now. Nobody ever reads my notes or knows what is happening so I am constantly filling people in etc. I am snappy with my husband and I just don't know how long this is going to take.... sigh!!!!


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[MeanVeggieGal]

Hi Honeybee,

I went to the hospital at about 12 weeks and demanded and u/s because my pregnancy symptoms had lessened. A tech said he heard the heartbeat but I wasnt confident that's what he heard. About a week later I knew I was no longer pregnant and confirmed it with another scan by a "seasoned" tech. I wasn't, baby had passed about 2 weeks prior.

I opted for pills to mc but it was rough. Passed lots of blood and ended up calling the ambulance as I went in shock after I pushed. MrsGoodies is correct, it's a mini labor and NOT a heavy period. Pads were of no use and I wished I had taken more pain meds prior. I never went to the hospital even though I called the ambulance. They helped me through the shock. I relaxed for a couple days afterwards and stayed super hydrated and well nourished.

Take care sweethearts. Sorry to you both honeybee & MrsGoodies. Be gentle and completely selfish during this time if you can. 💋

[atomic sagebrush]

OMG I am so, so very sorry. I am fully fed up with the behavior of sonographers around the globe and the way they "train" people on us as if we are guinea pigs or something.

Are you doing the red raspberry leaf?? If not that is what I would add in.

[The Anchor]

Oh honeybee I am so sorry. How awful. They didn't see a heartbeat and they are reluctant for further interventions? Ludicrous!

I had a m/c at 14 weeks. I actually had my water break the day after we discovered no heartbeat. I had had some light spotting for about 5 days prior to the u/s. The cramps were pretty bad, coming in waves, just like labour.

I hope you are able to find peace somehow...

[honeybee37]

Well, the baby was born at 4:30. It ended up happening very quickly and I managed to hold the baby for a bit and felt better for doing so. Still passing bits of placenta and feel very drained but relieved also. I can't thank the people who have supported me on this thread enough. Seriously, you got me through this horrendous episode. Mrs G I want to give you a massive hug!!


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[twointow83]

Well, the baby was born at 4:30. It ended up happening very quickly and I managed to hold the baby for a bit and felt better for doing so. Still passing bits of placenta and feel very drained but relieved also. I can't thank the people who have supported me on this thread enough. Seriously, you got me through this horrendous episode. Mrs G I want to give you a massive hug!!


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So many hugs. So sad you had to go through this but glad you are out of limbo. Hugs & prayers.

Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗

[MrsGoodies]

(Hugs) honeybee37;

:sadflwr: i'm so glad you were able to hold and say good-bye to your little one.

Your body knew what to do and you got through it. I am proud of you.

I pray this nightmare will be over soon for both of us and we'll be blessed with healthy babies in the new year :pray:

NHS are a bunch of dolts...i know bc my cousin complains about them non-stop. Socialized medicine is a nightmare!

[GirlieCat]

Big hugs honeybee. I am sorry you had to go through this but also glad that it now over and the healing can begin. You were very brave to go it all natural and it sounds like the benefit was that you got to hold baby and say goodbye. Hope your rainbow baby is just around the corner.

[MrsSparkles]

This brought a tear to my eyes.
So sad this has happened, been thinking of you a lot this past week.
Beautiful that you were able to hold your baby, so precious.

Love and healing hugs to you <3

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm thankful that it is over, honeybee.

Thanks so much to the wise women who were so helpful in this thread. :heart:

[Pink Pony]

Hugs honeybee, take care x