Timing Question

[PNWmama]

I'm currently in the middle of a girl sway. I'm CD13 and monitoring with OPKS (wondfos and clear blue advanced). We've been abstaining for 10 days. If we BD tonight, is it best to keep it to one time? Or should we dtd again tomorrow, or will it effect sperm count? I'm feel a little clueless

[atomic sagebrush]

PLEASE only have one attempt at least at first. That has been far and away best results for us.

[PNWmama]

Ok thanks. My clear blue test this morning had a flashing smiley ("Hugh") and the fmu OPK looked negative. The smu OPK looks positive so I hope I didn't mess up timing too much. I'm cd 14 now and ovulated on cd17 last time I tracked. I read that coming off BC helps sway pink so I did that for this cycle and it's so hard to predicate ovulation 3 days in advance

[atomic sagebrush]

It's actually pretty much impossible, but no worries, most of us on here have 2-3-4 timing opposites and got our girls (or boys) after we gave up on Shettles timing. I have 3 of 4 boys with "girl" timing and got my girl with Shettles boy timing. :) The important thing is the one attempt.

[Birthfree]

It's actually pretty much impossible, but no worries, most of us on here have 2-3-4 timing opposites and got our girls (or boys) after we gave up on Shettles timing. I have 3 of 4 boys with "girl" timing and got my girl with Shettles boy timing. :) The important thing is the one attempt.

I'm in a similar spot (have been ttc for 3m, using Shettles)... I am at CD11 and last month got a + OPK on CD12... (ovulated next day, according to the temp spike 48h after + OPK). Do I want my try to be tonight? Tomorrow?

I know this should be simple and I have read for days here but it got really confusing and conflicting...

(Not sure if it matters but I'm 40)

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, it depends on how sold you are on Shettles. If you feel like you HAVE to keep doing Shettles, you'd want to attempt tonight but personally I'd wait till positive OPK if you can bear it.

FWIW given your age, time is not our friend here and I would start giving up things that don't sway (like timing) while keeping the things that do (like one attempt.) But you have to decide that for yourself.

If you could explain what is confusing/conflicting I can explain.

[Birthfree]

No I'm not set on Shettles... I was ready to just throw it all out until I asked a friend who referred me here (she's not quite as old as I am but closer than most).

I was reading all sorts of things on the dates of when to do the one try and it was that that was messing me all up...

And because of time I'm worried anyways. Just on the + OPK day (evening?)? (I see sometimes people have + OPKs a few days in a row. I've only had it one day but that's why I'm asking, I don't know if my body will do like it did before? Probably safe to say it will?).

Hopefully that made sense...

[Birthfree]

And thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

What you can do in that scenario is have the attempt at first positive OPK and then pick it up with every 4 days thereafter in case you ovulate later than you think you're going to.

RE the confusion with the dates, just go ahead and ask any questions - a lot of the "conflicting" info is just because I try to let the majority of people have "their sways, their way" but at the same time advise based on my own experience. so there are lots of potential ways to do something, but then I have my "vision" on what is best, too. :)

[Birthfree]

I really appreciate this/that, thank you!

[Birthfree]

The evening of + OPK (to try) right?

[atomic sagebrush]

That's what I'd try first after stopping with Shettles!!! I got pregnant at 41 with one attempt the day before O.

Over time of course we'd need to be proactive with upping attempts but I would personally want to try at least 1-2 months with one attempt at positive OPK before doing that.

But DO pick up with e4d after pos OPK attempt to cover you in case of delayed O!!

[Birthfree]

Thank you! + OPK tonight (yay!).

E4d... does that mean "every four days"?

[Birthfree]

OPK still darker + this morning and my temp dropped some.

I only was able to lay still for 15 min after sex yesterday evening... do you think that was long enough?

[Birthfree]

i.e. I'm just worried and wondering if I should try again. Being older and not getting pg easily this time is harder mentally to not worry.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! + OPK tonight (yay!).

E4d... does that mean "every four days"?

Yes every four days from here on in just to cover you in case of delayed O.

[atomic sagebrush]

OPK still darker + this morning and my temp dropped some.

I only was able to lay still for 15 min after sex yesterday evening... do you think that was long enough?

yes, it should be long enough. Most of the sperm will have moved out of the semen into the EWCM by then.

[atomic sagebrush]

i.e. I'm just worried and wondering if I should try again. Being older and not getting pg easily this time is harder mentally to not worry.

I totally understand - it took me 6 months at 41 to get pregnant and I wondered the whole time if I was doing the right thing. But she is here and normal and perfectly healthy. :)

[Gini]

Wow im so confused with only trying once! After reading so much about shettles. I got my boy last time doing shettles trying for a girl. So only try once after abstaining for our first try and try to do it the day before ovulation

[Gini]

Did you try when you got the blinking smiley? Have you fallen pregnant yet? I'm confused with clear blue when we should do our one attempt, at the blinking smiley or the not flashing smiley.

[Birthfree]

Did you try when you got the blinking smiley? Have you fallen pregnant yet? I'm confused with clear blue when we should do our one attempt, at the blinking smiley or the not flashing smiley.

I used the line style of OPKs but we tried on the first strongly positive OPK. We are just starting the 2ww.

[atomic sagebrush]

Wow im so confused with only trying once! After reading so much about shettles. I got my boy last time doing shettles trying for a girl. So only try once after abstaining for our first try and try to do it the day before ovulation

We have several different strategies for swaying. Not everyone does the same thing. Birthfree is "at a certain age" (me too LOL) so we have to be more proactive in her getting pregnant.

Most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more Shettles opposites (again me too!!) But if you are a big believer in timing, that is fine, you can try for a cutoff if you want to (no more than 2-3 days tho) or use the one attempt at pos OPK.

Whether to do abstain or FR depends on a lot of different things - most people with husbands over 35 don't use abstain as it may not be totally safe for sperm, but if he's under 35 you can have him abstain if you want to.

[atomic sagebrush]

Did you try when you got the blinking smiley? Have you fallen pregnant yet? I'm confused with clear blue when we should do our one attempt, at the blinking smiley or the not flashing smiley.

It depends on if you want timing or not. If you want timing you'd aim for attempt the second flashing smiley but be aware that you can have only one flashy and go to peak, or go straight to peak without any flashies!

If you don't want timing and just to have one attempt (for reasons we are not clear on, one attempt has been very effective for pink for us) then it's easiest to do that at the first peak (solid) smiley.

[Birthfree]

I totally understand - it took me 6 months at 41 to get pregnant and I wondered the whole time if I was doing the right thing. But she is here and normal and perfectly healthy. :)

I have a positive test this morning! (8-9dpo... I think 9dpo and that a really restless night messed up my waking temperature). [emoji7]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170111/aa2c41fcc30f9f0167eaa4c1928badc6.jpg

[atomic sagebrush]

ooo, I see it!! :cheer:

[PINKwish16]

Hi, I'm new to this site. But interested in timing for girl sway also.
I for some reason had a weird experience (although still conceived) that I had a flashing smiley Day 12 (I was using line tests everyday as well) but never got a positive until late afternoon day 24!! We had from, I think, day 6 been doing it every other day exactly. And the last time was the night before the +OPK as hubby went away (so day 23)
The month before was flashing smiley for 3 days then +Opk. So this was extremely weird to me.
Anyway, I had two boys having intercourse soon as I've had an +opk and then a day or two after and always had EWCM around ovulation.
This time I've made a few changes like skipping breakfast, eating foods I believe to be acidifying for the body, no veg (which now I'm worried was wrong) lots of plain Greek yogurt, NO bananas or fruit, haha. Didn't lose any weight but didn't gain. Had no EWCM and tested on the acid side when ovulated. Me and husband took mag and calcium sups (got bit lazy month we conceived) and he took baths when he could, he did the night before my +OPK.

Sorry for the essay (embarrassed face) but at a glance would you say that was a reasonable pink sway or are there a few rooky mistakes here!

Thank you in advance :)

[atomic sagebrush]

It happens more than you might think.

I never recommend DTD every other day for TTC a girl but you do always have a chance of a girl no matter what. Sending you tons of pink dust!

[PINKwish16]

Thank you and thank you for the reply!

Ah ok, my understanding was that every other day would lower sperm count and the Y sperm may die off sooner leaving X sperm up there (of course not knowing when I'd get the +opk). Probably got it all wrong haven't I :(
I just tried to do the opposite to what I did with my boys I guess.

Why do you not recommend the every other day with a cut off?

Did everything else look ok? Or have I gone way off away from your advice guidelines. It's ok, I can take it....I think. Hehe

[atomic sagebrush]

It's not that you got it wrong, it's just that there is a lot of info on line and some of it is decades old and has been debunked. People keep putting it online but it doesn't work. Most of us on here got opposites with the old-school timing stuff and we just want you in with the best possible shot because we know how hard it is to have GD.

Dr Shettles was wrong about X and Y sperm. He made a mistake and thought that capacitated sperm were Y sperm, and uncapacitated sperm were X. We know that this is a proven fact and no one can see the gender of sperm thru a microscope. We now know that X and Y sperm live the same length of time and swim the same speed. What you are doing is dumping more and more sperm into your repro tract and studies and other theories have indicated that this may sway blue (because of sperm numbers, exposure to hormones in semen, pH, or some combo of all three plus other reasons we can only guess at.)

Timing with cutoffs does not sway. It doesn't work. Doing the opposite only works when you're doing the opposite of things that got you boys to begin with. If you had sex the last time with your husband's socks on, and this time you're going to have sex with them off, that obviously can't be the reason why you got boys, and relying on that as your sway is not going to help you, if that makes sense.

It doesn't mean you can't get a girl - you can get a girl doing things straight off the boy playbook, but it's not going to be your best shot, is all.

Are you already pregnant?

[PINKwish16]

Yes, that all makes sense.

Yeh I am pregnant, I looked at things a few months before trying and did the things mentioned above that I felt would be opposite and/or what I thought would sway from what I had read (like eating acidifying foods, timing, sups, the baths etc) but since falling pregnant have become more intrigued and am now realising I should have researched a little more to have given myself the best chance, but the reality is it's too late now. Haha.

I fully understand though that inspite of even the most accurate of sways you are still only in with a chance, your only swaying your chances, not making it something that will definitely happen, so I know logically there's still a possibility. I guess after reading more and more I needed to ask what you/someone thought. What will be will be I guess, too late now.

Although I'm glad nothing stood out to you as being strongly in the blue territory!

:)

[atomic sagebrush]

Good luck and pink dust headed your way!

[Birthfree]

ooo, I see it!! :cheer:

I'm get my second serial beta hcg draw today but I'm 13dpo and the test line is now almost not even there at all so I don't know why it's barely hanging on... but I'm sure the # will be lower. It was 23.6 at 10dpo.

Anyways, I can't ttc next month (my midwife will be gone the month I would be due), and the following one I'm not sure if I want to (seems REALLY dumb but Scorpios and I are the only people that quite consistently butt heads in close relationships and that would make me sad for my last baby)...

So... in the meantime, do you think there's anything I could have done or should do differently re: good eggs/sperm. We got "how to meet" so that's good... (thank you, that's our first + in the 4m of ttc).

I false-started ovulation this past month and had truly + OPKs for 5 days before my body released an egg. I'm thinking maybe that's part of what didn't help?

So disappointed. :(

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, you never know, the tests are largely dependent on your urine concentration. FX for good news on beta.

I am never a fan of people skipping months over 40. You never know when Goldie the Golden Egg will show up and it may only be one or two times a year depending on your physiology. I do understand where you're coming from tho, I often butt heads with Aries and Leos and did not want a kid of either sign and yet I got BOTH (woman plans, and God laughs) Your call, of course, but I hate to see you guys skip months that's all.

the reason for most chemicals is just a bum egg, a bum sperm, or something going wrong very early along in development. Literally millions of cell divisions have to happen perfectly and the miracle is that things don't go wrong more often than they do. they are usually not preventable (exception being those with untreated thyroid conditions or clotting disorders) We all wish for a magic pill or protocol to prevent them but the only way is to just roll the dice again and hope for a better outcome, a better egg, sperm, or combination.

Lots of people have delayed O and many days of pos OPK and conceive. I think this (if in fact a chemical) is just bad luck and nothing more.

Good luck and sending my supply of pink sticky dust. :)

[Birthfree]

Ok, thank you very much. Depending what my results are, I'll discuss with my midwife and see what her plans are more firmly and see if we don't have to skip. I don't really want to skip... every month that goes by is pretty obviously a whole month...

Though I think my husband's "you get pregnant when I look at you" belief despite my assurance I'm not young that way anymore, is starting to fade. That was frustrating me that he wasn't taking me more seriously...

Anyways, thank you again. Onto month 5...

[Birthfree]

Oh the Paris trip was cancelled... my midwife will be in town next Oct... no skipping ttc. Yay!! [emoji175]