Atomic, I'm freaking out...

[maximbella]

I typically always O on CD21-25 (confirm with OPK, digi OPK and BBT). However, as you know, we were on vacation this past week and really had a "free for all". I happened to take some OPK's with me and randomly checked the evening of CD14 thinking there would be ZERO shot I would O around that time and somehow got a positive. I tested again 3x on CD 15 & CD 16 and same thing, positive! I believe I O'd sometime on CD16 or CD17. I am including my BBT chart so you can take a look...as you'll see, there are open circles because we were in different time zones and my temping times were all over the place. As you can see from BD timing, it's not looking good for me for a girl sway, right? I did keep a pretty LE diet (mainly vegetarian, low calorie, cardio, drinks, diet cokes, etc.), but I'm freaking out that since it may have happened way before I thought it would, I've totally messed up this cycle and gone into boy territory. Please tell me what you think... :nails:

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24dd4d//thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24dd4d/)

[maximbella]

Good morning, this morning's chart... I'm still unclear if I O'd on CD 16 or CD 17 since CD 17 has an open circle (we got back home late the night before and slept in that morning, so temp timing is off).

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24dd4d//thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24dd4d/)

[atomic sagebrush]

I can't get your chart open, I'm PMing you right now.

Timing does not sway!! I know it's hard to give up on but it really doesn't sway!!!!

[maximbella]

34348

Atomic, can you see that?

[maximbella]

Good morning! Today's chart... Really hoping I O'd on CD 18 and not CD 17...
34352

[Birthfree]

I can't get your chart open, I'm PMing you right now.

Timing does not sway!! I know it's hard to give up on but it really doesn't sway!!!!

In her case/chart, does it still sway pink?

[Shannshaff]

It looks like you are still in with the one attempt in fertile window and that sways girl! GL

[GirlieCat]

You are BD about every 4 days so that is good no matter what day you actually O. I personally think it can be so stressful to temp and worry about pinpointing O that it is not good for a girl sway. Month I got pregnant with my girl I just did every 3.5 days sex (alternated am then pm BD so it was 3.5) and had I not done that, I wouldn't have caught the egg because I O' early and never got a clear +OPK.

[atomic sagebrush]

In her case/chart, does it still sway pink?

I couldn't see her chart yesterday.

The unfortunate thing about this chart is that I honestly cannot say even with a decent guess, when O occured. All those open circles, and in all honesty we still have not had 3 legit high temps. We are talking about fluctuations of a tenth of a degree and I cannot say if she has ovulated and what day. My guess is that sometime between CD 15 and CD 20 she ovulated. I cannot pin it down any closer than that, unfortunately.

In those circumstances it does appear to be one attempt in fertile window, which is good unless it was CD 15 in which case it was 2 (still not too shabby)

[maximbella]

Thanks, atomic! And I know, this is sooooo frustrating to me with all these time changes and travel affecting chart. Is it possible to O so many days after a positive OPK? Also, if I did O on day 17 and BD the night of CD16, would that be so close to ovulation time (could have Od after taking temp even on CD16), would that not totally sway blue??

[atomic sagebrush]

Timing doesn't sway. If you're asking me if that is supposedly Shettles timing for boy, yeah technically (they would say CD 17 would be "bluer"), but it is also IDENTICAL to the point at which I BD before O and got my daughter after getting 3 of 4 boys with cutoffs. :) I can assure you with every fiber of my being that it is entirely possible to get a girl that day. :)

Yes, it's possible to O days after a positive OPK.

[atomic sagebrush]

Timing doesn't sway. If you're asking me if that is supposedly Shettles timing for boy, yeah technically (they would say CD 17 would be "bluer"), but it is also IDENTICAL to the point at which I BD before O and got my daughter after getting 3 of 4 boys with cutoffs. :) I can assure you with every fiber of my being that it is entirely possible to get a girl that day. :)

Yes, it's possible to O days after a positive OPK.

[maximbella]

Timing doesn't sway. If you're asking me if that is supposedly Shettles timing for boy, yeah technically (they would say CD 17 would be "bluer"), but it is also IDENTICAL to the point at which I BD before O and got my daughter after getting 3 of 4 boys with cutoffs. :)

Awesome!! So there is hope! :)

[Birthfree]

@atomic - can BD the day of O result in a girl?

I know you say timing doesn't sway and that it's the one try... my brain is still cramping. I'm sure you have explained this a zillion times but why does the one time vs timing result in different results?
[emoji175]

[atomic sagebrush]

YES, because timing DOES NOT SWAY, it is possible to BD on O Day and get a girl. They have done studies using modern technology to pin down the day of ovulation and proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that when they actually pinned down O Day with blood work or ultrasounds, that it's about 50-50 B/G on every day and also proven that the old studies most of them had the wrong day reported as O Day (when experts went back over them) and when that was corrected for, even the old data that supposedly proved timing swayed, actually didn't.

We don't know why one attempt seems to sway. It is just an observation we made when we tracked our results. We can't explain it yet, but that is what we observed, and then once we realized it, we started using it as a sway tactic successfully. Regardless of the day you have your attempt, if there is just one attempt in the fertile window, it sways strongly pink. People who had 3 attempts, even if those three attempts were all O-3, had more boys. Additionally many of our blue opposites were in people who were only able to have one attempt (either by choice or on accident) and the people who did that by choice were DTD ON O Day so again, confirmation you can BD one time on O Day and get a girl.

Number of attempts sways. Timing doesn't. We don't know the reasons, but I do recommend it for those who can.

[Birthfree]

Thank you!!

[maximbella]

Atomic - how many days prior to O is considered one attempt in fertile window? Is it one time in O-3, regardless of day you BD within those days leading to O? Or is it O-5?

Most recent chart, by the way....augh a few more days before I can test!

34378

[Princess Mom]

Just wanted to give you some comfort, I thought I totally messed up because I ovulated later then usually and totally messed up! I think I did 2 attempts or 3 not sure, but my daughter was born on Thanksgiving, so don't get too worried

[maximbella]

Just wanted to give you some comfort, I thought I totally messed up because I ovulated later then usually and totally messed up! I think I did 2 attempts or 3 not sure, but my daughter was born on Thanksgiving, so don't get too worried

Than you, Princess Mom! Congratulations!! Did you by chance have O-1 timing also?

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic - how many days prior to O is considered one attempt in fertile window? Is it one time in O-3, regardless of day you BD within those days leading to O? Or is it O-5?

Most recent chart, by the way....augh a few more days before I can test!



Unsatisfying answer(s) are a) we don't know and b) it depends.

Yes, for the most part, O-3 thru O day is the functional fertile window. Very, very few of us can get pregnant from BD on O-4,5,6 or whatever and 99.9% of the people who think they got pregnant from BD on those days actually Oed the day that they believe they did.

BUT we don't know if BD on O-4/5/6 has any effect on gender swaying outcomes. Since we don't know why one attempt sways, we don't totally know if BD on O-5 for example could possibly affect things if you had another attempt on O-2 or whatever. We just don't know that. We don't THINK that it does since people are getting good results with every 4 days, but it is just not something we KNOW.

All I can say is that one attempt in O-3 thru O day is what I consider to be one attempt, and at the same time I would not want people to have attempts on O-4,5,6 while adding in one attempt O-3 thru O day because I do not think that's truly one attempt. Do I know this, no, but it is just my gut feeling.

[maximbella]

Unsatisfying answer(s) are a) we don't know and b) it depends.

Yes, for the most part, O-3 thru O day is the functional fertile window. Very, very few of us can get pregnant from BD on O-4,5,6 or whatever and 99.9% of the people who think they got pregnant from BD on those days actually Oed the day that they believe they did.

BUT we don't know if BD on O-4/5/6 has any effect on gender swaying outcomes. Since we don't know why one attempt sways, we don't totally know if BD on O-5 for example could possibly affect things if you had another attempt on O-2 or whatever. We just don't know that. We don't THINK that it does since people are getting good results with every 4 days, but it is just not something we KNOW.

All I can say is that one attempt in O-3 thru O day is what I consider to be one attempt, and at the same time I would not want people to have attempts on O-4,5,6 while adding in one attempt O-3 thru O day because I do not think that's truly one attempt. Do I know this, no, but it is just my gut feeling.

Sorry Atomic, somehow missed this! Thank you, makes more sense!

Not feeling great about my chances this month, unfortunately. FF keeps changing my O date and its too hard to tell when it really was given the travel/open circles on my chart. I also realized a few days ago that my temping thermometer is all over the place and giving me huge variations, even when taking temps back to back. I took a frer test the last few days (which I'm probably anywhere from 6-12dpo, probably closer to 10-12dpo) and all tests have been stark white BFN's. Super bummed! Think there's any hope? I know this is supposed to be my one and only month, and I'm torn between thinking it wasn't meant to be and just being happy I have two healthy DD's, and also thinking about about begging DH for another month.

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/24dd4d

[atomic sagebrush]

Can you post the chart in a post?? Sorry can't access the link.

[atomic sagebrush]

I do want to urge you to continue BDing even if you think you've Oed, if you guys aren't doing that. every 4 days in case O was delayed by your trip. for all we know you may not even have Oed yet!

[maximbella]

34466

Atomic, can you see that?

[maximbella]

Good morning, today's chart below. Woke up 45 mins later, so temp is a bit higher than yesterday, but still higher than cover line. Praying there's a chance somehow...

34467

[Burakoam]

Max FF seems to have started a new january chart and i cant tell whats going on anymore..did you start bleeding today bb? :(

[maximbella]

Burakoam, yes... :broken: Just updated the 2WW group. So bummed....

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this. :( Is there any hope of convincing your hubby?

[maximbella]

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this. :( Is there any hope of convincing your hubby?

Thanks...and I'm going to try, Atomic! I feel like it's right for my family and it really wasn't fair to try for only one month. Can you remind me of how long it typically takes a healthy couple (I'm 35, he's 40) to conceive? I'm building my business case... ;)

[atomic sagebrush]

It takes fully fertile couples doing nothing to sway and everything to get pregnant an average of 3-6 months to conceive.

[maximbella]

It takes fully fertile couples doing nothing to sway and everything to get pregnant an average of 3-6 months to conceive.

Thanks....I'll talk to him tonight and hoping I can convince him. Atomic, just out of curiosity....I got pg with both DD's first cycle (although I was younger), but did notice that I didn't have CM this month. Could it be from not exercising and adding in Diet Cokes & wine, since I usually don't drink them? Also kept away from foods with potassium like bananas, tomatoes, etc. Just curious since my BD timing was good, I'm pretty confident I did actually O this month, and really thought I had a good shot. Wondering what could have kept me from getting pg.

[atomic sagebrush]

Sometimes it is just not the month. Not the right egg, not the right sperm, they didn't manage to find each other, something goes wrong during fertilization or soon after that - the miracle is not when it doesn't happen on the first try, but that it happens as often as it does since literally millions of things have to go exactly right to make a new little human.

Usually even when there is no CM that you see, you have some up inside where you can't see. This is normally only a problem for people who are anorexics or on strong fertility meds.

[maximbella]

Thanks, Atomic...for everything! Going to have the talk tonight, hoping I can come back next week with another month to go...