ttc after 4 boys and recent Second Trimester Loss of our 18 week Baby Hope

[Amberekstrom]

Hi guys, I am a mom to 4 beautiful healthy boys. Our 4th boy was supposed to be our last so I gave up the dream of having my very own daughter nearly 5 years ago when I learned I was having another boy. I love them all dearly and would not change a thing!!!. However while on vacation (without kids) my husband asked if I would give him another child. I was kind of shocked as he had been fixed 4 years earlier but excited too. It took some time for his reversal and then a few months of ttc. I definitely down played my excitement though as I was 100% confident I would have another boy. I was 37 at my 12 week fetal dna test and soon learned I was having a daughter. At 17 weeks I began to bleed, at 18 weeks I began to labor, by 18 weeks and a few days I delivered our daughter at home. Her heart beat, she was beautiful. She lived for 11 minutes. She looked perfect. We still don't know the cause. This was Dec 26, 2016. I mourn for her and the loss of my dream. I've known about swaying since I had my 3rd son and we tried swaying (very lightly) with my 4th son. I will love any baby God provides for our family but if there is a proven way to increase my odds I really need to try.
Here are some things that will hinder me. I work out 3 days a week with a trainer. I'm willing to tweak these workouts to be more high intensity and cardio driven but working out keeps me sane and less bitchy :) I don't want to douche as the Drs think an unknown infection may have caused my loss. So aggressively disrupting my healthy balance scares me. When we conceived DSs and DD we DTD 4, 5, 6 or more times in our fertile window including O and after just to be sure we hit the target. Never more than once a day. The only difference with my daughter is that I was taking a fertility blend VITEX because I noticed I was starting to spot 3-4 before my periods would arrive. I only took it the month I conceived and not religiously. I average 27-29 day cycles and typically O day 15-17.
I have been burying myself in information on swaying and I am so confused. I ordered the plan for TTC girl from your website last week but I haven't received it yet. I guess my questions would be what has the best odds of success and can I still succeed if we enjoy the baby making process DTD often and I work out a lot (although totally willing to do high intensity cardio and weight loss). Thanks again for all the hard work you've put into this sight it has been an excellent tool to take my mind off of loosing our little Hope.

[fiveboys]

Good luck on your sway hun..my heart goes out to you for your loss xx

[1pinkplease.]

Very sorry for your loss...that was a heartbreaking read. All the best with your sway*

[Faithinpink]

Hi there, very sad .. im so sorry for you loss all the very best and i really hope you get your rainbow baby xx

[GirlieCat]

Hi Amber, so very sorry for your loss this story hits hard as I am 16w5d and I can't even image going through that right now. Just unimaginable.

I really hope you get your rainbow baby girl. Check out the LE diet, exercise is great but is supposed to be cardio only not weights for girl sway and technically for girl it is supposed to be just once in the fertility window to increase girl odds. (I feel bad even addressing swaying advice after such a heart breaking story but I understand research is probably a good distraction) Good luck hun.

[MiaMelb]

Welcome welcome. Very sorry to hear about your loss, hope you've had the support you need. Good luck with your sway. Sending you some pink dust.

[MrsTheatrical]

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[Throwaway_panther]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. <3 I and everyone else am here for you anytime you need to grieve, as I see it was very recent.

As for swaying, I wouldn't be too concerned about the training -- a trainer is typically going to work you intensely, so you might be good already there. I personally did intense cardio AND heavy weights and had a DD, but I also did some other LE things, too. I believe atomic doesn't recommend the douching, either.

One attempt at O seems to be the magic girl swaying amount, but my DH and I also DTD often and we got a girl -- I think it pales compared to other factors, like diet and exercise, and seeing as how you already conceived a girl DTD often makes me think you might be fine. I think DTD EVERY day also can potentially sway girl, too.

I wonder if your husband having a reversal might play a big role in you getting a girl. I believe it's been posited elsewhere on here that that might sway girl!

[Amberekstrom]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. <3 I and everyone else am here for you anytime you need to grieve, as I see it was very recent.

As for swaying, I wouldn't be too concerned about the training -- a trainer is typically going to work you intensely, so you might be good already there. I personally did intense cardio AND heavy weights and had a DD, but I also did some other LE things, too. I believe atomic doesn't recommend the douching, either.

One attempt at O seems to be the magic girl swaying amount, but my DH and I also DTD often and we got a girl -- I think it pales compared to other factors, like diet and exercise, and seeing as how you already conceived a girl DTD often makes me think you might be fine. I think DTD EVERY day also can potentially sway girl, too.

I wonder if your husband having a reversal might play a big role in you getting a girl. I believe it's been posited elsewhere on here that that might sway girl!

Wow thank you guys for the support. It has been very hard but not sure how I make it any other way! I just learned I have to do ad and c tomorrow. I tried every natural and prescription drug to finish the miscarriage but apparently it is not complete. Has anyone had a d and c before??? What was your recovery time. Working out has been my saving grace lately as I'm living off of those endorphins! Nature's happy pill!!!

[Marileigh]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your story sounds so similar to mine. I also have four boys and lost our surprise girl in May at 17 weeks. I can't speak to th d and c, as I delivered in the hospital. But I wish you all the best and pray for healing for your body and your spirit.

[mtboys]

Hi Amber, my heart goes out to you...i am so very sorry for your loss. I have had a d&c myself and just wanted to say that it was the easiest procedure for me. I was expecting more cramping and bleeding, but I had almost none of either. It was done quickly under general anesthesia one afternoon, and I was back to work the next day without a problem. Had an rx for pain medication but didn't even need tylenol. I wish you the best tomorrow and hope you get your little girl this year!!

[The Anchor]

I'm so sorry for your loss, how heart breaking. I hope you can find peace somehow...

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry for your loss Amber. :heart:

I hardly ever use douching and only when people insist upon it so no worries there.

We have had good results with as little as 4 days of exercise so if you can sneak in another day, great. Either way I'd have you continue with them for your sanity's sake.

Having a V reversal may have helped you sway. I would probably not have you do the vitex this next time through.

I'm sorry but I have not received your questionnaire, did you change your user name since you bought it?? I can't make plans for people until I get the questionnnaires and in fact I don't even really know who bought one until the questionnaires are filled out. I will try to move my schedule around to get your plan to you as soon as I can after I get the questionnaire.

[atomic sagebrush]

amber, I still don't see a questionnaire from you, please let me know what is going on so I can assist.

[Amberekstrom]

I am not sure where to get this questionnaire from??? I saw the charge come through PayPal but never received anything else.

[Amberekstrom]

Atomic, thanks for your reply and for this very informative site! I spoke to my ob and maternal fetal medicine doctors after d and c about my concerns with how long it took us to conceive Hope (lost at 18 weeks) and he prescribed Clomid to hopefully speed things up for us once we start trying. I won't start until late Feb to March. I haven't received a questionnaire but I would love to complete it for you! Please let me know what to do next. 50mg days 3-7. Thanks again��

[atomic sagebrush]

These are the two questionnaires. When I get them I can do the plan.

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/misc.php?do=form&fid=10
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/misc.php?do=form&fid=9