Back and contemplating swaying again...

[hopper]

Hi! I was a regular on here while ttc our third son (I hate using the term 'failed pink away') but took time out before he was born. He arrived a week early last August and I am completely and utterly enamoured of him, the thought of ever being disappointed that he was in fact a he instead of a longed for she makes me feel silly. He's, in a word, divine! XXforhubby wrote some words here when I found out the gender of DS3, those words were "we don't always get the gender we want but we always get the child we need" and I often think of this and believe it to be 100% accurate. I needed to have this son to realise I don't NEED a daughter to be complete and while I would definitely like to have one, hence the return, I know that I will once again receive the child that was destined for me and our family.
So, after all that, my husband and I have decided to have a fourth and final child and are thinking of ttc later this year. I would like to stack the odds in favour of a daughter. If a girl is in the cards for me I know she will find me but knowing what I know about swaying now I'd like to do a few things to make me more girl friendly because right now I am super duper boy friendly!!
I am planning on starting a mild version of LE from May. I say a mild version because I genuinely cannot afford to lose anymore weight. Despite DS3 being only 5 months old my BMI is 19.8. So I am planning to continue my regular diet between now and May which is porridge for breakfast, coffee and croissant around 11.30, lunch sandwich and yoghurt or fruit around 2pm, a big dinner around 5.30pm and I snack all night on whatever I fancy ie nuts, cereal, biscuits. From late May I will cut out the snacking and breakfast (I will miss my porridge though!) I will also cut out red meat and limit other meat or fish to 2-3 times a week. I currently eat meat twice daily and red meat every second day if not every day (big carnivores in our house hence the 3 boys lol!)
I will start cardio (exercise bike) in coming weeks starting at around 2 days a week building up to 5-6 days a week for 60 minutes.
I will take Fibre and Folic Acid. No supps for DH.
DH is currently at his lowest adult weight but I believe he is holding firm and no longer losing.
I also have a prescription for Clomid that I got when ttc DS3 but I got my BFP that week. I was thinking of filling the script and taking it.
DH wants to do a less "regimented" ttc this time. Last time I was all about my OPKs and making sure we dtd e4d. I don't want to be as OCD about the whole dtd this time so if I am taking Clomid how do I avoid using OPKs, as in when will I generally O if I take Clomid and what days should I take it (ie 2-5?)
I reckon we won't be ttc til July or possibly August. Is that long enough to be on a mild LE diet with cardio? I swayed for too long last time (started LE in May and BFP in Nov but I dropped cardio in late August and had several events where I cheated and as a whole I feel May-Nov was just too long for me on the restrictive diet I had implemented for myself) so hoping to avoid that this time.
Does this sound like a decent sway that I shouldn't get too caught up in? Despite the addition of the Clomid I want to be as laid back and natural in the ttc process as I possibly can but I am relatively clueless on the whole Clomid thing. Any and all advice most welcome! Hoping to see some familiar ladies (all with their desired genders safely delivered please Lord!) Thank you for reading xx

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[XXforhubby]

Welcome back Hopper! I've been thinking of you and how you are getting along.

I think you have a good plan. I like that you are gradually becoming more strict with the diet and exercise as you get closer to TTCing. You will need to eat more calories when you increase the exercise to prevent you from losing too much weight with your current BMI. Going vegetarian is a great idea and has been getting great results!

If you don't want to temp or use opks while taking Clomid, if you take the Clomid, then I would BD either E3D or E4D from when AF ends until as late in your cycle as possible. Clomid is notorious for delaying ovulation. You may also find you need a tad of sperm friendly lube to make BDing comfortable because it can dry up CM. If you take Clomid, I would start of at the lowest dose, 50mg, and take it either CD3-7 or CD5-9. It can be risky to take it earlier or at a higher dose unmonitored. Atomic will offer more advice and information for you regarding this.

I'd love to give some advice, friend to friend. Please don't get hung up on being strict with the diet, worrying about cheats and having to keep up the exercise. Life happens. Swaying needs to fit into real life. Just strive to do the best you can with what you are given, because life can throw you curve balls at times. If you start losing too much weight with the exercise bike, you may need to switch to walking casually or have to drop it all together. That will be ok. Just don't get caught up in the things you didn't do last time you swayed or felt you need to do differently this time around. Remember this is a different situation and the best sways are often ones that are flexible and fluid. You will do great!

FX and GL to you! I look forward to following along with your journey [emoji8]!



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920/thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[Butterflies buttercups]

Just jumping in here
Wow fantastic advice XX

Wishing u lots of luck hopper - I do think easing in gradually probably makes it easier I wish I would've done this I prob wouldn't have cheated so much !
But like u say life happens so sometimes u have to do the best u can xx


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[atomic sagebrush]

Another option with diet that has worked quite well is to simply go vegetarian. Don't skip meals, don't count cals or protein or fat, just eat to hold steady on weight with a vegetarian diet.

At that low a weight, if you're still nursing especially, I'd drop fiber.

Will you use coffee and alcohol?? We've had good luck with them of late.

I always recommend Clomid if you can get it.


I would have you guys BD every 3 days and not do the OPK if you are finding yourself getting hung up on them.

[hopper]

Thank you all so much for some great advice!
I like the idea of just going vegetarian, I think I might manage that better than watching every calorie. Can I just ask - could I include some form of fish or other seafood in my diet twice a week? I have zero issue giving up meat but I adore seafood!
I'm no longer nursing unfortunately, long story and I won't bore Any one with it :( But anyway, if I've stopped nursing should I include the fiber? I eat chia seeds daily, would they be a substitute or should I drop them from my diet?
I most definitely will use coffee and alcohol, I live for coffee lol. Alcohol though, I don't think I can manage a glass every day. Maybe every second day? Will that help or hinder?
I will fill that Clomid script ASAP, I'm sure I will be back with questions lol.
The e3d approach is ok by me but I've just been talking to DH and he has said he doesn't like the "scheduled" sound of it. He is an every day or every second day kinda man (probably like a lot of fathers with sons!!) I may need advice on how to make it seem less regimented....

Thanks for the advice about just letting life happen XX! I so hope to be able to follow it. And huge congrats on your bfp!!! Hoping with all my might its your little lady xxx

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[atomic sagebrush]

Seafood is my favorite cheat and after a while I actually have people add it in once a week anyway.

I can't sign off on chia seeds because I haven't seen enough people use them while swaying to know if they sway. dietary amounts only. Since you're doing vegetarian I'd prob. include some fiber just with meals containing fat.

even if it's every other day with alcohol it will probably still help. Won't hurt anyway!

I'd let him "do what he does" and then just BD unprotected every 3rd day. Any other extracurriculars with protection.

[hopper]

Thanks Atomic! No worries on the chia seeds, I am just addicted to them at the minute and would hate to have to give them up. Good point about using protection on other attempts lol, funny enough it never even crossed my mind!!! Lol.
Ok, so until we are set on a month to start ttc I am going to put everything on the back burner, ease into my cardio starting tomorrow with 30 minute sessions every 2 days building from there to every day for 60 minutes (I'm on meds for PND right now so I'm sure the cardio will only help with how I'm feeling, it has in the past so its like two birds with one stone!) I will fill the script for the Clomid just to have it to hand. And I will try put this out of my mind as I have that nasty tendency to fixate on it when we decide to ttc which definitely doesn't sway pink!! I will dip in and out and be keeping up with some familiar names, hoping everyone gets their DG! Thanks again Atomic, you are invaluable! X

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[foxtrotmama]

Personally, I dropped chia seeds because I was having tons of them when I conceived my sons. I do miss them, though.

[atomic sagebrush]

sounds great! good luck!