So upset about our failed "attempt"

[LuvMyGuys]

Hi Everyone,
I've been on the LE Girl Diet for a little over two months now, which has been very difficult since it required a complete overhaul of my diet and lifestyle. Before starting, my husband was fully supportive and said he was on board to to help me sway and would do the few easy things he could to help out. We skipped TTC last month because it was our first time ever "trying" to get pregnant and he has "performance anxiety". Then, last night as we were going to TTC again for this cycle, he brought up all these fears and stressors about having another baby (which we discussed a month ago and again a few days ago and agreed to not discuss again) right before - which definitely killed the mood. For me, so much of this is getting to my head and I was trying to be as relaxed as possible, but bringing all of that up definitely turned any relaxation around. My O day is tomorrow and we were hoping for at least a 2-day cutoff and I got my + OPK yday, but after all that prep and difficulty in dedicating myself to the diet and taking all those supplements and aspartame which gave me lots of headaches for what felt like forever, just feels like he blew our chance. I felt so defeated and discouraged today and ate breakfast today for the first time in so long and I just want to throw this whole sway out the window. I anticipated yesterday for so long and our chance came and is gone and there's just no desire to try again this way. Just so frustrating to feel like he was on board, then jumped off at the last minute. Sorry for the vent and if I sound like a brat, but just still really upset about everything. Thanks for viewing/listening.

XO

[cosmosis]

I'm sorry you are feeling so frustrated and defeated :( if you've come this far, don't throw in the towel just yet. Men usually are not on board with swaying or TTC in general from what I have seen and experienced.

My DH had many concerns and I asked him to list them all in a message. He did so and I wrote him back with a solution for every one of his concerns and it left him without being able to back out (because having children is a right both parties have) and he agreed although not 100% on board.

I made our first month very stressful. He was very cooperative but doesn't like being on demand and it made me totally stressed out. For this cycle I'm keeping everything to myself and just initiating sex when it is necessary and declining advances on off days. It seems to be working well for us and I'm sure for many other couples as well. The less I talk about it, the happier we both are. Perhaps you can try a similar approach.

Does your DH have a high sex drive or is it difficult to get him to have sex altogether?

[business.woman]

Im sorry for what all you feel ,
Sometimes men feel that way
Try to seduce him without the idea of conceiving, just attack him and make him feel like you want it for fun :)


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[Erin514]

I don't have any suggestions for your DH beyond what's already been said, but for you I would suggest why not just give up the aspertame if it's giving you headaches and let yourself have a cheat day once in a while where you eat breakfast and have a couple foods you miss on the diet? As long as your within your totals most days, it's okay to cheat occasionally. And you are even allowed to have breakfast if you miss it a lot, you could just bump it back a few hours to keep a good fast period of 12-16 hours in there.

Better to have a diet you can live with for the long haul than one that will make you so frustrated you give it up before you conceive! :)

[Wantanother2017]

I'm sorry you're going through this added stress. The husbands have NO idea how consuming the LE diet alone is, not to mention GD. Skipping a month seems insignificant to them but to us its agonizing. [emoji174]
We feel you sister.


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[atomic sagebrush]

It has been my experience that this is something ~some~ men will do to say no without really saying no. They'll go along with it on the outside and then undermine it at the last minute repeatedly. i'm not saying he's doing it deliberately, but that he's having more mixed emotions than he let on at first. I would probably not push him, what many of us have found is that our husbands are not always cooperative but ~usually~ will come around in time and space.

What you may want to do is think of this as "meant to be" where maybe God/the universe wants you to have the best sway you can and so this happened to maybe improve your chances of success.

Now let's talk about your diet. Can u tell me what you're eating and why it is feeling so hard? Many times when people are really struggling I end up finding that they are eating very resttrictively and you don't HAVE to do it that way. LE Diet is supposed to be easy to stick to, and if you're miserable then we can probably switch some things up so you are happier in the long term.

Re aspartame, how much are you using?? I would not use anymore than 2-3 servings a day max.

[LuvMyGuys]

Thank you, ladies for listening and understanding. This is the only space where I can express how I feel about all of this. We had a long talk and will try again next month....just hoping for the best.

[LuvMyGuys]

It has been my experience that this is something ~some~ men will do to say no without really saying no. They'll go along with it on the outside and then undermine it at the last minute repeatedly. i'm not saying he's doing it deliberately, but that he's having more mixed emotions than he let on at first. I would probably not push him, what many of us have found is that our husbands are not always cooperative but ~usually~ will come around in time and space.

What you may want to do is think of this as "meant to be" where maybe God/the universe wants you to have the best sway you can and so this happened to maybe improve your chances of success.

Now let's talk about your diet. Can u tell me what you're eating and why it is feeling so hard? Many times when people are really struggling I end up finding that they are eating very resttrictively and you don't HAVE to do it that way. LE Diet is supposed to be easy to stick to, and if you're miserable then we can probably switch some things up so you are happier in the long term.

Re aspartame, how much are you using?? I would not use anymore than 2-3 servings a day max.

Thx, Atomic. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this. Being so new to all of this adds a lot of pressure for both of us. And, we're in the boat of "all or nothing" when we commit to things, and now especially this.

Honestly, just overall, I previously ate a lot and ate often. It has gotten easier, especially the skipping breakfast part - since I've been doing this for a while now. But staying away from the things I realized swayed blue, but I loved and actually ate a LOT of (in most of my cooking and salads) such a: lots of soy products, dairy, tomatoes, avocados, dark leafy greens and lots of chicken. And, frequent snacking on corn and potato chips :/

I was able to dedicate myself to cutting down cause I had a goal in sight. And it helped knowing he was supportive too. After that happened it felt like a major setback and like all those avoided meals that I was still cooking for my family but not enjoying, went to waste.

I'm drinking Metamucil with aspartame 2-3 times a day with meals then 1-2 packets of crystal light. But, who knows, maybe the headaches are really from my hormones and the stress and anticipation. It did increase around my ovulation and approaching TTC day.

I'm hoping as time goes on, I'll continue to get in my groove with this and it won't feel Iike so much of a sacrifice. Just really hoping things work out next month * fingers and toes crossed *

[pinkinthestars]

Hi LuvMyGuys,
Sorry to hear hun you are feeling this stress, I hope I'm offering some comfort and telling you I went through a lot of ups and Downs with my diet when I was trying. My partner was onboard with supplements but when it came to timing it was never perfect due to him either bring away or pulling a muscle lols, in the end I found not telling him dates, times and when helped I just initiated everything.

Also I was not a big soft drink drinker to begin with so I started slowly, and whenever I felt like I was stressing about what I was eating I would message atomic on my custom sway section for reassurance and clarification it really helped with easing my mind and not letting myself get carried away :)

If it helps at all, also right before I was due to ovulate I missed a week or so because my partner strained a groin muscle like and I panicked in the end I fell pregnant following atomics advice of when to bed because of that circumstance and now I'm like 3-4 weeks away from having my girl :)
Sending you lots of pink dust for your next try hun and also sending you lots of hugs during this time. Just member life works in mysterious ways and when we usually think it's going wrong it actually isn't. If you can try to take some much needed you time and do something for you :) this all helps gets us to where we want to be when we are feeling the struggle :)

[Butterflies buttercups]

Hi pink,

Sorry to hear about your partner and his feelings I think it's common for men (and women) to gonuo and down ...
E.g. Last night I had abit of a melt down shouting I can't do this anymore (eat at certain times, log what I'm eating , exercise everyday) it's taken it's toll on me mentally I've learnt that I'm a bit of a quitter actually of something seems to hard I usually quite hence I've booked to go HT twice now and cancelled even when all the meds arrive and needles I just freak out and bale ...

We've had our attempt this month I don't know if it's workerd but in the past two days I've gone abit crazy with food and just almost binged as feeling sad for myself ... I'm trying to be more positive today and get back on it ...5 days until I can't take a HpT ...

I hope you are feeling abit better after all the supportive comments :)


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[XXforhubby]

Well coming from a DH that took 10mo to finally come on board, I would learn to let some things go. It's hard. I'm a bit of a control freak too, when it comes to something I really want. I had to be flexible, because if I didn't my DH would not BD when I needed him to. To avoid him not wanting to BD when the time was right, we BDed every four days from when AF left until well after the latest I ever ovulated. Having regular sex every four days took the pressure off him, since he never knew when the actual attempt was.

Just something to think about. I will tell you that if you want a perfect sway, it won't happen. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Stick to what has been getting the best results (even if that means letting go of timing. It doesn't sway. You can't get pregnant if you don't have an attempt!): LE diet 12 weeks or more, no snacking, limiting meat, no red meat, exercise (if you can do it. No worries if you can't!), fiber before meals, one attempt in your fertile window (either at positive opk or BDing every four days. This will give you one viable attempt before you ovulate), coffee and alcohol. That is it.

FX and GL to you! I hope that everything works out, and you get your BFP soon!!



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920/thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[Burakoam]

All 4 of my girls have been 1 attempt in fertile window which is what atomic says sways pink more than any other form of timing. With my DD3 I nailed ovulation. I wanted to be pregnant so bad I had sex at +OPK, the next morning and next night, again the next morning and next night and because we were having fun by that third day (and making up from a bad fight) we also had a third attempt in the afternoon. You do not need to be days out from ovulating to get a girl I promise.

I also want to stress that I was eating spinach, and lots of boy things with DD4 as I was on the HE diet trying to sway for a boy and she is still all girl. Blood and ultrasounds have confirmed at this point. Not that I would chance full HE when you are swaying pink but I think you NEED and should set up at least 1-2 cheat meals during the week where you can just enjoy what you are eating. Don't go crazy wth it or anything lol but enough to bring back some joy to eating for you

My DH was angry with me from a fight when we conceived DD3, and with DD4 the only way I got him to consent to a 4th was NOT to talk about it. I was dieting and feeding him blue friendly meals obviously when I could and temping and testing with OPKs.. but kept it to myself. His mindset was "if it happens it happens" he really didn't think it would happen I think lol.. some men though you just can't push..

[atomic sagebrush]

Aspartame does give people headaches even at that mod. use. It probably doesn't do anything anyway.

Tomatoes and dairy don't sway blue on their own. You have to go off your overall nutrient content of your diet and you may be able to add some of those things back in over time. Same with dark leafies, they are actually free and unlimited, just if you have the choice to go with a lower nutrient choice, you can. But you don't always HAVE to and you can include them as much as you want without even counting.

[LuvMyGuys]

Hi pink,

Sorry to hear about your partner and his feelings I think it's common for men (and women) to gonuo and down ...
E.g. Last night I had abit of a melt down shouting I can't do this anymore (eat at certain times, log what I'm eating , exercise everyday) it's taken it's toll on me mentally I've learnt that I'm a bit of a quitter actually of something seems to hard I usually quite hence I've booked to go HT twice now and cancelled even when all the meds arrive and needles I just freak out and bale ...

We've had our attempt this month I don't know if it's workerd but in the past two days I've gone abit crazy with food and just almost binged as feeling sad for myself ... I'm trying to be more positive today and get back on it ...5 days until I can't take a HpT ...

I hope you are feeling abit better after all the supportive comments :)


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Hi B&B! I'm the same way...so very indecisive and keep going back and forth between going really hard in my sway or thinking it may not work/being afraid I didn't do enough or going the HT route. We went to the initial appt, but backed out/cancelled the rest. Also, as circumstances change, as life happens, they also influence our decision on if we'll move forward with/consider HT. The support here definitely helps to ease my mind and my DH has since tried even more to understand and has been more supportive. We have our next attempt sometime this weekend (should get my + OPK this Saturday), but I'm not gonna tell him this time... :)

I've been drinking more water so that's helped with the headaches and have just overall been trying not to think or stress about things too much. Just 2-3 meals a day, coffee everyday, no breakfast, fiber before meals, CL, low protein diet. I drink on occasion, but will start up wine every night this week. I've got my sylk ready and am planning to take sudafed a few hours before (unless I drink wine that day, then it'll be allergy meds instead) to help with CM.

For the ladies who had successful pink sways, did you gals jump & dump? Lay flat after? Use lubes? I definitely feel more confident and prepared this time around and have gotten even more used to the diet changes and have lost weight in the process. Just need a few more opinions for the night of my sway then I can really feel like I'm going in ready and armed with info lol.

Thanks again, all!! Xo

[Butterflies buttercups]

If it helps I'm now pregnant ! But who knows if my sway worked but certainly enjoying to weighing or timing foods !
Stick with it though it's all worth it xx


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[Butterflies buttercups]

Also I used repress 14 hours before my attempt no lube at all - shallow release and J&D after about 8 minutes as I lost track of time I was aiming for 5 minutes
Good luck !


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[pinkinthestars]

Hi LuvMyGuys,
I probably waited around the 5-8 minute mark I wasn't in a rush or bothered by it :)