Seriously. ..the WORST luck? *another loss*

[SweetLily]

So I'm back.

After our 17 w loss in march I sent 6 months getting healthy again and ttc. Got pregnant in September and lost the baby a few weeks ago at 15w. I have 4 Normal healthy children...why is it so hard now??!!!

The first was a case of severe chorioamnionitis (amniotic fluid infection) that i got from ecoli food poisoning and this time I had a SCH that tore a bit. It had been a few days since the tear (I felt it but thought I was being paranoid so didn't even call the Dr ) and there was no hb at my regular ob appt. The amniotic fluid was FULL of blood.

I had them induce me--surprisingly painful still at 15w but maybe I was being a baby cause I was so shocked an emotional? But I still got a uterine infection as I had to have a d&c any way for retained tissue.

Anyway...I'm 40.5 years old now and we want to try again (I'm must be out if my stupid mind) . Very soon--im 3 w post loss and will wait 1 cycle to happen naturally since I was on a lot if antibiotics...but would you do it? All the Dr's are saying both cases were really just bad luck and it's fine to ttc again. ..you ladies know a lot about fertility so I wanted the check with you.

We would prefer a girl but ANY live baby would be welcomed and loved with open arms...if we do go ahead would it be better to just start trying next month? Or should I wait several months? My Dr said wait til next cycle since I had the uterine infection (at least).

That said we have not gotten the autopsy back and don't know if there was anything wrong at all. I know at my age risks are higher but I also know you're much more fertile after a loss.

Any thoughts on this from anyone? I feel like I need good advice from other moms in the know!

Atomic...what do you think hun? Anchor?

Ladies thank you. I'm sorry to come on here whining with a sob story but I really need advice.

Hugs to all of you.

[Erin514]

Omg, sweetlily I remember your posts on your previous m/s and I am so very sorry to hear you had another loss. After all you went through before this just seems particularly unfair. :(
In your shoes, since it seems it was a fluke both times, I would still want to try again but wait until your doctor clears you after the infection. I don't think you're crazy! It doesn't seem like anything that happened is linked to your age, just terribly bad luck. You'll be in my thoughts.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry to make you go over all this but can you tell me what herbs you're on?

Aspirin? Any other medication?

I just want to give you the best advice I can.

Usually I like people to wait a cycle whenever there is a D and C and 2 cycles if you're into the 2nd tri.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, you have truly been through the ringer and are a superhero to want to try again. Remember I got my girl when I was 41 and a half, it is possible. :heart:

[1moregirl]

Good Lord Sweetlily. My heart aches for you. Enduring 2 losses after the first trimester (when yuo think things are going to be ok after the first trimester is done) and the CPs. I really admire your strength and courage to want to ttc again. No Mum is silly for wanting to try again. No matter what the age or how many children we already have. The heart wants what the heart wants. I'm 45 and just completed a decent ttc attempt and sometimes I think I must be mad. But I did have my last (have 3 children) 2 months before I turned 41. So don't give up. Can I ask a question though....what did you mean when yuo felt something 'tear' prior to getting the SCH?

[SweetLily]

Atomic I wasn't taking anything but prenatal, Ubiquinol and folic.

I found huge research papers that aspirin (which the fertility clinic put me on both times ) causes SCH in 40% of users as opposed to 10% naturally and to deal with it you need blood thicjeners--not more aspirin.

I didn't have any complications this pregnancy right to the loss.

I did feel a tearing sensation in my belly a couple of days before the loss. It wasn't very painful so I chalked it up to round ligament pain and didn't even call the Dr.

Thanks for all your thoughts ladies, I sincerely appreciate your perspectives.

Next try there will be NO ASPIRIN EVER! Not sure if that had anything to do with it but it's highly suspect.

BTW Atomic I am taking Ubiquinol, royal jelly and folic this time but that's it. I used codiene after the loss --the infection caused major uterine pain. Will that damage my eggs?

Anyway thank you again all of you.

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree and I am no longer using aspirin except for those who insist upon it. Partly for this reason and partly for others

I would not have you take RJ because I've found it does nothing beneficial and really messes up people's cycles. I would much rather you just take your folic (and let's do folate instead if poss) a and a DHA supp designed for pregnancy, and continue prenatal 2-3 days a week. this is pretty much what is in the RJ without the risks and side effects.

[SweetLily]

Huh. Ok I am on folate I should have specified. What is dha? I know there's one--I think dhea that is banned in Canada and we can't get it. I've avoided it for some of the"don't use if" rules. Is dha the same thing? And take a prenatal every 3 days? Even for girl?

Appreciate the advice Atomic :) thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Huh. Ok I am on folate I should have specified. What is dha? I know there's one--I think dhea that is banned in Canada and we can't get it. I've avoided it for some of the"don't use if" rules. Is dha the same thing? And take a prenatal every 3 days? Even for girl?

Appreciate the advice Atomic :) thank you.

DHA is NOT DHEA, sorry two different things. DHA is just a kind of essential fatty acid that is often taken by pregnant women during pregnancy. I believe it's available in Canada as many of my swayers do take it.

The folate may be more effective if you take it with some other B vitamins (which is what the RJ has in it, but it's not safe and will mess up your cycle possibly). Additionally you've been through so much I think it may be a smart move. You need to get successfully prenant now and since you may be pretty depleted, I just think it's a good precaution.

[Throwaway_panther]

Oh no, seeing your username by this post made my heart fall. I'm so, so sorry SweetLily for your loss. And you were not being a baby for being induced even at 15w! You are quite strong to have gone that route -- labor is labor!

As atomic said, you're not out of the game yet. You HAVE had healthy children, and even being over 40 you've had pregnancies make it to the second trimester -- you might, as you said, have had some very unfortunate luck. I believe you can still get a healthy baby; are you seeing an RE at all? I see in your sig you had 6 years of chemicals, which outside of age could have some sort of medical factor to it.

[SweetLily]

I saw the ob yesterday for a check up after the infection and had an ultrasound too. Everything looks good and sge encouraged us not to wait but to start trying again next cycle. I'm going to give it one more cycle to feel better. The baby was a perfect little girl, nothing wrong at all. It was gutting to hear that.

I will find some dha then Atomic and take that. I just don't want to go supplement crazy, I'm sick of pills ��

Thanks for the advice and we'll wishes ladies, truly appreciate it.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry. :(

[XXforhubby]

(((Huge Hugs)))

I hope and pray that your much deserved rainbow baby girl joins your family very soon [emoji597][emoji92][emoji93][emoji94]



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920/thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[purple]

Oh I'm so sorry to read this sweet lily. I can't believe you have been put through this a second time.

Wishing you all the best trying to convince again.

[Pbn3]

Oh no sweetlilly I cant believe you are going through this again :( I'm so sorry and really hope you concieve your rainbow baby really soon. Huge hugs

Sent from my GT-I9305T using Tapatalk

[SweetLily]

Xx you got a bfp!!! Congrats my dear!!! I am SO happy for you.

Ladies, thank you for all your thoughts.

It's been weird --my MIL wanted to come (and did initially show up at the er when I was sent there) and they sent us home after 6 hours to be induced the next day, so mil went home. She wanted to come back the next day abd we told her no. She wasn't going to be welcome at a live birth let alone induction of a dead baby. Sge is do mad she's STILL not speaking to us 4 weeks later! Can you imagine being so selfish? She has to make everything about her abd because we didn't allow it she's having fits. It's so pathetic it's comical.

Sometimes ppl really surprise me --it's really nice to have a place like this where warm hugs come thru your kind words. Thank you all for touching my heart.

[Babygirlquest]

.

[XXforhubby]

Xx you got a bfp!!! Congrats my dear!!! I am SO happy for you.

Ladies, thank you for all your thoughts.

It's been weird --my MIL wanted to come (and did initially show up at the er when I was sent there) and they sent us home after 6 hours to be induced the next day, so mil went home. She wanted to come back the next day abd we told her no. She wasn't going to be welcome at a live birth let alone induction of a dead baby. Sge is do mad she's STILL not speaking to us 4 weeks later! Can you imagine being so selfish? She has to make everything about her abd because we didn't allow it she's having fits. It's so pathetic it's comical.

Sometimes ppl really surprise me --it's really nice to have a place like this where warm hugs come thru your kind words. Thank you all for touching my heart.

I believe that stressful situations can bring about the worst in some people, especially those that lack emotional intelligence. This is why I only have my mother around on my terms only.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of such a traumatic time [emoji20]. I'm sending you lots of prayers for strength and healing [emoji8][emoji92][emoji1317][emoji94].

(((Huge Hugs)))



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920/thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart (https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[SweetLily]

That's how I am with her too--on my terms. When it happened I was at the ob (the placenta had torn couple of days before) and I was hours from home and dh in the city she lives in so I called her to come get my 2 sons as I was being sent straight to er. It was a nightmare-- we were stopping at the ob on way home. A quick 30 minute stop right? I had no idea that sensation I'd felt really was the placenta tearing even tho it was my first instinct. After the last loss o felt paranoid and thought I was over reacting. So there we were, 7 yr old and 14 yr old. She was 3 hours behind and when I was finally seen she insisted I go for an US across the hall since she couldn't find the hb. I still wasn't worried --had an anterior placenta and no one had found the hn by doppler yet. But then at the US the Dr stunned me with the news. Wed been there for 5 hours at that point so I called her and told her and asked her to come get the boys.

She took them for lunch but her daughter had a baby 5 days before abd my youngest (who was still traumatized by the first loss) refused to go to their house (she lives with daughter ). There was no way. So a girlfriend came and took them to her home for me and looked after them which was super kind of her. It was a huge ordeal.

And then we started the 4 day long induction to d&c procedure!

I don't know what to do about our little guy. He was so excited both times abd is just crushed. I would no tell him but he's the passionate artist type and is super intuitive --he found out about this pregnancy because he figured it out at 6 weeks! I also show a lot by 8w due to mass bloat initially and am looking 5 months by 12 (6 babies right!) So I really can't hide it. It has no where to go but out. So I don't know how I will ever hide another pregnancy from him and he said right after if I ever got pregnant again he didn't want to know. Not really sure what to do there. Any suggestions on that anyone?

Anyway I am.mostly thru the physical --the infection from the d&c had me on 3 antibiotics so my immune system is wiped and I have had the stomach flu and a nasty cold both in the last week,,I'm still feeling miserable (got the fly 2 days after ending the antibiotics that made me feel like I was dying ) so it's been pretty rough. I've been sick for a month which is why we won't jump into ttc this month!

Thanks again ladies.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hugest ((((hugs)))!!!!