Need help with my sway as I've probably screwed it up this time... and introduction

[mebiro215]

Good morning!!!
I've been lurking on this board for a while now. I started TTC #3 back in December 2016 and I just don't know where I'm making mistakes (besides NOT posting here). I'm a member of another sway board on a different website and it's like I have to beg to get answers. I'm totally new to swaying and I'm getting discouraged. Every other time I got pregnant it literally just happened. I used an app to track O, dtd on the day it suggested and I was pregnant that month. This time I'm temping, OPK-ing, timing, cutting off before O and trying my best to diet. But no one in the forum talks about specifics and when I ask for them I get nothing (crickets) but if another poster asks something general like "When should I test?" (Seriously?!) Like 20 people will respond.... this is a forum where most of us have 2 other kids. You know when to test.... and if it's as confusing as all that, get some of those "cheap dollar store tests" and just use them from 1dpo till af if it comes...

OK that was a vent and I'm sorry, just frustrated cause I know I'm screwing up my chance at conceiving a daughter and I want help but for some reason I can't get it. Is it because I talk too much? Anyway, here's my intro:

Hi😊
I'm Megan, I'm 30 (31 VERY soon...). I have 2 sons (ages 5 and 2) and DH and I have been together for a total of 16 years (friends, lovers, spouses). We want a daughter and he comes from a family of a strong majority men. His brothers' wives have also given birth to boys and his mom just won't shut up with her backwoods science about how "the B____ only make boys" and she just loves to through in my face every single person she knows who is welcoming a baby girl this year. There's some tension there.... but I've wanted to have a daughter my whole life. Just like all the members to this board. I've had her name picked out since I was 10!!! 10!!! And it's not some dumb, young mom, written in pink and purple surrounded by hearts and glitter name. It's beautiful, it's romantic, it's feminine, it stands out!!! And best of all, it can be shortened to a variety of different nicknames that aren't going to turn into the butt of the playground jokes. It's the most perfect name I've heard.... but I know everything about my daughter, I have so many plans for her. I just need her here with me...

So I've been keeping all of this in because I don't have anyone really to talk to about it. DH would listen but he's not really knowledgeable about these things. I was hoping to find some women who understand, who know what to do and can help. This diet is driving me up a wall. I barely eat as it is and now I have to figure out what's OK and what's on the "no no" list?! Where is this no no list anyway. Every time I find something, I'll read somewhere else where it's been argued, where a mom followed it perfectly and still managed to conceive a boy, sometimes the mom will have a ton of boys already. I'm afraid to try for a specific gender. I'm afraid, I'll restrict and obsess and put all of these things in my body that I don't need all in the hopes I'll make a daughter and I'll still have a boy. I'm afraid of gender disappointment. I was NEVER scared of it before I started to sway and now I'm scared to even get pregnant because of it!!! But I want to be pregnant. If I can't do it now then we need to wait until later in the year. There are many reasons I don't want to wait. Spacing is a big one. I hate the thought of her being the odd man out cause she's a girl AND super young... so here I am, hoping for someone to please reach out, I'll do my best to make my responses shorter in the future!!

TL;DR version:
I'm trying to sway, can't find help on the other site. Losing my bleeding mind!! Need help now.
And I introduced myself somewhere in there...

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[atomic sagebrush]

Well, I try to answer every post personally as quickly as I can so I'll help you however I can. :)

Gender doesn't run in families the way people think of it. Some families do seem to be more boy heavy or girl friendly, but it's lifestyle primarily, which we can change. Men make 50-50 X and Y sperm, this is possible!

The thing with swaying is it just can't be 100%. If there was a "magic food" that made people have boys or girls, the whole human race would have died out a long time ago. It's your diet as a whole that counts. Lower nutrients (cals, protein, fat) less animal protein and fat, more carbs, those things sway. The magic food approach got most of us on here, sway opposites.

We do a different kind of diet and you can read about that here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html We get 70% and up doing this diet (no magic foods!) for 12 weeks or more and it's a healthy, sustainable diet that is easier to stick to than the rice cake and cranberry approach.

RE being scared of GD, the thing is, if you can approach it more from the mindset that you'll do what you can, and change what you can change, but don't expect a guarantee, and that you'll be ok with the outcome either way, great. Because really, you can't lose. Either you get another snuggly boy to love or you get a girl. There are no losers here. Sways don't "fail", they make opposites. We always win, we always succeed. :)

Don't worry too much about spacing, we all have those concerns but once your next baby arrives then it will just seem like your family was meant to be just that way.

So go ahead and hit me with your questions either in this thread or starting others, whatever is easier for you. I know it can seem confusing at first but always just ask, I always have a reason why I suggest things that are sometimes different than "the other site".

[mebiro215]

Well, I try to answer every post personally as quickly as I can so I'll help you however I can. :)

Gender doesn't run in families the way people think of it. Some families do seem to be more boy heavy or girl friendly, but it's lifestyle primarily, which we can change. Men make 50-50 X and Y sperm, this is possible!

The thing with swaying is it just can't be 100%. If there was a "magic food" that made people have boys or girls, the whole human race would have died out a long time ago. It's your diet as a whole that counts. Lower nutrients (cals, protein, fat) less animal protein and fat, more carbs, those things sway. The magic food approach got most of us on here, sway opposites.

We do a different kind of diet and you can read about that here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html We get 70% and up doing this diet (no magic foods!) for 12 weeks or more and it's a healthy, sustainable diet that is easier to stick to than the rice cake and cranberry approach.

RE being scared of GD, the thing is, if you can approach it more from the mindset that you'll do what you can, and change what you can change, but don't expect a guarantee, and that you'll be ok with the outcome either way, great. Because really, you can't lose. Either you get another snuggly boy to love or you get a girl. There are no losers here. Sways don't "fail", they make opposites. We always win, we always succeed. :)

Don't worry too much about spacing, we all have those concerns but once your next baby arrives then it will just seem like your family was meant to be just that way.

So go ahead and hit me with your questions either in this thread or starting others, whatever is easier for you. I know it can seem confusing at first but always just ask, I always have a reason why I suggest things that are sometimes different than "the other site".
Thank you very much for your response! Seriously most of the things I look up on Google send me to something you've responded to so it's really awesome to finally communicate with you directly! Hopefully you can help me make sense of everything! I love how you put the idea of how to approach GD. My head believes it. And I really wanna feel that way in my heart too (I also have a few boy names that I'm in love with!).I'm just so scared it's gonna hit me as soon as I get my BFP! We discussed adoption as an option for a daughter which makes me not wanna try and just look into adoption but I also enjoy the whole journey of motherhood.... I just don't know😓

Let's see.... I feel like I come up with new questions every day. It's probably too late to make much of a difference now... I got my 1st + OPK this cycle yesterday evening. We BD and I'm not sure if we should have? Cause I read the OPK 'predicts' your ovulation within 24-36hours. The last 2 months TTC I've been trying to time sex. In December I got a yeast infection and had to stop BD anyway. Then in January I think I never ovulated because I stopped the pill in Nov but I got a + OPK and BD straight through my predicted fertile week and nothing.... I feel like my body may finally be getting back in the swing of things this month, however, my temps aren't nearly as neat as they were in December and January. They're all over the place this month. It has jumped and dipped twice in the last week! My plan though is to temp throughout the month and still do the OPKs from now on to see how long my LH still shows. Do you know if ovulation happens WHILE LH surge is still detectable in urine or does LH surge stop once egg drops? I still got a + OPK today...
And does douching make a difference or does it hurt your chances? I read about women doing a lime douche but why don't they just use a small amount of regular summer's eve? White Vinegar has a ph of like 3 right? I used a small amount of douche last night before BD. I don't plan to tonight but we wanna BD tonight.

I read a post where you stated it was more about glucose levels and how mom wants hers as low as possible when conceiving girls? Is that why some women swear by BD 1st thing in the a.m.? Like maybe no food for 3-4hrs before BD might help? Since there's no special foods (thank God!!)

Also about food, are there things we should absolutely restrict? I stopped using caffeine about 2 weeks ago like completely. I never drink soda anyway but I read about Aspartame being good for a girl sway. I drink this flavored sparkling water that's sold at Walmart. It's sweetened with Aspartame. I was not drinking these before getting pregnant with either of my sons because I was drinking a ton of soda and super sweet drinks. I haven't had much juice lately either. I was actually trying to lose weight before TTC and was able to drop 40lbs. My diet was pretty restrictive calorie wise. So now, I'm not necessarily eating more than I was while I was trying to lose weight but idk if I'm eating "girl friendly foods".
I never ate much red meat before and I haven't had any red meat in At least a week. I love spaghetti with meat sauce and I've been avoiding making it this month.

Ok so I've been coming back to this post adding a little more each time. I've typed a lot!! Lol but I wanted to give you as much info as possible!!!!

Also, I've been getting super dark +OPK results since Monday and to be safe, we've BD each night since then and in the morning if we have time. Ok, tell me what I'm doing wrong, or ask me questions if this is too much or all over the place. I appreciate your help so much!!

Well, I try to answer every post personally as quickly as I can so I'll help you however I can. :)

Gender doesn't run in families the way people think of it. Some families do seem to be more boy heavy or girl friendly, but it's lifestyle primarily, which we can change. Men make 50-50 X and Y sperm, this is possible!

The thing with swaying is it just can't be 100%. If there was a "magic food" that made people have boys or girls, the whole human race would have died out a long time ago. It's your diet as a whole that counts. Lower nutrients (cals, protein, fat) less animal protein and fat, more carbs, those things sway. The magic food approach got most of us on here, sway opposites.

We do a different kind of diet and you can read about that here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html We get 70% and up doing this diet (no magic foods!) for 12 weeks or more and it's a healthy, sustainable diet that is easier to stick to than the rice cake and cranberry approach.

RE being scared of GD, the thing is, if you can approach it more from the mindset that you'll do what you can, and change what you can change, but don't expect a guarantee, and that you'll be ok with the outcome either way, great. Because really, you can't lose. Either you get another snuggly boy to love or you get a girl. There are no losers here. Sways don't "fail", they make opposites. We always win, we always succeed. :)

Don't worry too much about spacing, we all have those concerns but once your next baby arrives then it will just seem like your family was meant to be just that way.

So go ahead and hit me with your questions either in this thread or starting others, whatever is easier for you. I know it can seem confusing at first but always just ask, I always have a reason why I suggest things that are sometimes different than "the other site".
Thank you very much for your response! Seriously most of the things I look up on Google send me to something you've responded to so it's really awesome to finally communicate with you directly! Hopefully you can help me make sense of everything! I love how you put the idea of how to approach GD. My head believes it. And I really wanna feel that way in my heart too (I also have a few boy names that I'm in love with!).I'm just so scared it's gonna hit me as soon as I get my BFP! We discussed adoption as an option for a daughter which makes me not wanna try and just look into adoption but I also enjoy the whole journey of motherhood.... I just don't know😓

Let's see.... I feel like I come up with new questions every day. It's probably too late to make much of a difference now... I got my 1st + OPK this cycle yesterday evening. We BD and I'm not sure if we should have? Cause I read the OPK 'predicts' your ovulation within 24-36hours. The last 2 months TTC I've been trying to time sex. In December I got a yeast infection and had to stop BD anyway. Then in January I think I never ovulated because I stopped the pill in Nov but I got a + OPK and BD straight through my predicted fertile week and nothing.... I feel like my body may finally be getting back in the swing of things this month, however, my temps aren't nearly as neat as they were in December and January. They're all over the place this month. It has jumped and dipped twice in the last week! My plan though is to temp throughout the month and still do the OPKs from now on to see how long my LH still shows. Do you know if ovulation happens WHILE LH surge is still detectable in urine or does LH surge stop once egg drops? I still got a + OPK today...
And does douching make a difference or does it hurt your chances? I read about women doing a lime douche but why don't they just use a small amount of regular summer's eve? White Vinegar has a ph of like 3 right? I used a small amount of douche last night before BD. I don't plan to tonight but we wanna BD tonight.

I read a post where you stated it was more about glucose levels and how mom wants hers as low as possible when conceiving girls? Is that why some women swear by BD 1st thing in the a.m.? Like maybe no food for 3-4hrs before BD might help? Since there's no special foods (thank God!!)

Also about food, are there things we should absolutely restrict? I stopped using caffeine about 2 weeks ago like completely. I never drink soda anyway but I read about Aspartame being good for a girl sway. I drink this flavored sparkling water that's sold at Walmart. It's sweetened with Aspartame. I was not drinking these before getting pregnant with either of my sons because I was drinking a ton of soda and super sweet drinks. I haven't had much juice lately either. I was actually trying to lose weight before TTC and was able to drop 40lbs. My diet was pretty restrictive calorie wise. So now, I'm not necessarily eating more than I was while I was trying to lose weight but idk if I'm eating "girl friendly foods".
I never ate much red meat before and I haven't had any red meat in

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[Erin514]

If you read a couple of key posts in the index (see Atomic's signature in her reply for link), you will find most of your questions answered there. Read "le diet in a nutshell", "the trouble with timing", and "the pH pickle" to start with.

The core elements of most women's pink sways around here are: 1) LE diet for at least 12 weeks (fat and protein 40-60g, no forbidden foods just stay in totals); 2) exercise (cardio for 60 minutes, 4-5 times per week minimum); 3) single attempt within fertile window (no cutoff necessary, just have one attempt when you get a positive OPK); 4) many women also drink coffee and alcohol frequently.

Things that women MAY choose to do if they feel strongly about it but that honestly might just be hurting your odds without bringing you much/any benefit: 1) cutoff; 2) jump and dump; 3) douching, gels, etc;

Hope that helps get you started!

[mebiro215]

If you read a couple of key posts in the index (see Atomic's signature in her reply for link), you will find most of your questions answered there. Read "le diet in a nutshell", "the trouble with timing", and "the pH pickle" to start with.

The core elements of most women's pink sways around here are: 1) LE diet for at least 12 weeks (fat and protein 40-60g, no forbidden foods just stay in totals); 2) exercise (cardio for 60 minutes, 4-5 times per week minimum); 3) single attempt within fertile window (no cutoff necessary, just have one attempt when you get a positive OPK); 4) many women also drink coffee and alcohol frequently.

Things that women MAY choose to do if they feel strongly about it but that honestly might just be hurting your odds without bringing you much/any benefit: 1) cutoff; 2) jump and dump; 3) douching, gels, etc;

Hope that helps get you started!
Thank you so much Erin!!! This is all really helpful. I just finished reading the post "le diet in a nutshell". Since I've been on my "healthy weight" journey, this looks a lot like my typical day. Only this cycle have I started delaying breakfast. I used to eat breakfast with the boys every morning but now I try and busy myself and take a little something with me for later. I was eating 1 cup cereal with 1/2 cup skim milk every morning but it's been a couple weeks since I've been able to do that much. I've just been really busy these days. When I wake up starving I would just grab a pop tart and a Capri sun and that would hold me till almost dinner time. I'm absolutely by no means TRYING to restrict. I just don't eat fast food and I'm on the go a lot. I'll grab an apple or a pear when I think about it. I eat yogurt for like snacks and dessert. I was adding granola to it but after reading the Le diet post, I think stopping would be safe. I'm up in the air about vitamins. I never thought to take them before I conceived my sons, but on the other site there are women who claim they took them and were able to conceive girls. Can anyone explain that? I was taking extra folic acid, calcitrate, and my prenatal vitamins but then everyone on the other site said it sways blue so I stopped. I'm worried about cut offs or just BD once during FW. We did frequent BD last 2 cycles and cut off at 1st + OPK and that's not working.

I read online that someone will have a longer LH surge? Like passed 48hrs and I'm wondering if ovulation happens after the surge is over or while it's detectable in urine? We haven't been doing jump and dump but shallow ejaculated (idk if there's another term for that...). I don't usually douche but I did do a small one 2 nights ago cause I never tried it before. It was about an hour before we BD and I haven't done it since.


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[Mommy2apples]

Atomic has also suggested when ttc a girl to do e4d which is every 4 days after you get your positive opk. For example you'd have your attempt tonight and then another attempt the 12th and do that until you either get a bfp or af comes.


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[Mommy2apples]

Then next cycle just start the e4d after your af ends.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. It is a bit easier for me to answer more shorter posts than one long one so if I miss anything please just reask.

As long as you only BD ONCE that is the important thing. Timing doesn't work and most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites. Do not have any more attempts now, just stick with the ones you have had. Next month, if this is BFN, I would not have several attempts I'd stick with just one.

Some months you just don't conceive even with O. If you got AF, the odds are very high you ovulated. If you didn't get AF, then you didn't ovulate even if you got a positive OPK.

LH surge - is largely unrelated to when egg drops. You can have a positive test and have already ovulated, or have test gone negative and not Oed yet. It only predicts that you will ovulate sometime 8-48 hours after that first positive.

RE douching, yeah, I prefer that those who must douche, use storebought. There was some study that claimed a type of acid in limes had some magic ability to make girls but I've seen plenty of women get boys with lime douche (like a crazy amount of douching) and it's tough for me to believe it.

Women BD in the morning because supposedly T levels are lower. We don't find that to make any difference. Nothing you do for diet the day of O really matters. (if it did, we'd only do a diet one day) We find 12 weeks or more on diet, trying to keep your blood sugar lower most of that time, is what works.

Cafffeine has been totally debunked for swaying blue. Even using the logic of the other site it has been scientifically debunked. We get outstanding results with caffeinated coffee for PINK (by far better than aspartame) so I'd have you drink coffee again. Aspartame at your discretion, we don't find it does much if anything.

Eating less animal fats in favor of vegetable fats is one very easy change to make that may really help a lot!

It's great that you lost the weight, that may really help. Juice does have a lot of nutrition in it so most of us do cut way back on that as well.

Drinking sugary drinks and juice all day really does keep your blood sugar levels up and was something LOTS of us did for our boys. So just that one change will really help.

[mebiro215]

Ok thanks!! Will it mess things up if I BD every day? Cause that's what we did😵 I got my 1st positive Monday afternoon and I took another one today when I got home and that's positive too. Should I do the every 4 days starting now? We BD this morning and figured we should do it again tonight. I was thinking frequent BD during + OPK would be better cause last time we cut off and ended up with no baby. We only BD once during FW on my estimated ovulation day according to a cycle tracking app when we conceived both boys.

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[mebiro215]

Ok so no juice or sugary drinks, totally doable! I didn't have a Capri sun with breakfast this morning. I honestly only had time to get a handful of Cashews and some cold water. I'm home now and debating about dinner. I hope the weight loss makes a difference. I'm 5'4" I was 180lbs in May 2016. Now I'm 140. That's down 10lbs from my pre baby weight with both pregnancies. Meat is gonna be tough to remove. I love chicken!! We have some cod here though, would that be okay for dinner?

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[mebiro215]

Also, I'll make a note to keep my posts shorter lol

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[atomic sagebrush]

Breakfast cereal is one thing you may want to leave out because it's really heavily fortified (kinda like taking a vitamin)

NO sway tactic is 100%. So yes, you can find people that do things that sway pink but still get boys and vice versa. But if you do what works for most people, most of the time, then you can have a good sway. Since we have found prenatals/multivitamins/fortified foods to be very blue friendly, it's best to avoid them even if you know of a person or two who got a girl with them.

I leave the cal/mag up to you guys. Personally I think they sway blue, I got 2 boys while taking cal-mag and dropped them to get my girl but I understand a lot of people want to use them. It's up to you, just use the supps and not tons of dairy and don't take extra Vit. D unless you ahve a known deficiency.

Number of attempts - our results drop from 70-75% with one attempt, to 60-65% with 2, all the way down to the low 40% with 3 attempts. This is with otherwise good pink sways, only difference is number of attempts. So I would really, strongly urge you not to keep going with the lots of attempts.

Yes, you can O even 48 hours or more after first positive. What happens is your body surges but then "decides" it isn't quite ready to release the egg and "hangs onto it" for a little while longer. You'll surge again and then it will release the egg then. This can be days or even weeks after a first pos OPK sometimes.

[atomic sagebrush]

Also, I'll make a note to keep my posts shorter lol

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No worries! People do it a lot and it just makes it way easier for me to read and reply.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok thanks!! Will it mess things up if I BD every day? Cause that's what we did�� I got my 1st positive Monday afternoon and I took another one today when I got home and that's positive too. Should I do the every 4 days starting now? We BD this morning and figured we should do it again tonight. I was thinking frequent BD during + OPK would be better cause last time we cut off and ended up with no baby. We only BD once during FW on my estimated ovulation day according to a cycle tracking app when we conceived both boys.

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It's done now so let's not worry about it for this month but yes it's been very predictive of blue to have 3 attempts in the fertile window.

Timing can really cut odds of conception so that is probably why you haven't conceived yet (and of course it does take an average of 3-6 months even without swaying to get pregnant, so sometimes it just isn't THE month.)

Even if you got boys with one attempt before, it is best to stick with what has worked for most people, most of the time. You got boys because of other stuff you were doing (diet, etc) and not the one attempt. We not only find one attempt = more girls with pink sways, but also that many of our blue sway opposites are people who had only one attempt.

[mebiro215]

Omg really?!! So I haven't O'd yet? Once it stops coming up positive, does that mean I have an egg waiting for fertilization?

Should I stop taking OPKs now, or should I just keep watching my surge?

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[MiaMelb]

Hi and welcome.
I'm pleased to see you are finally getting some answers to your questions. Atomic and the others on this site are very knowledgable and supportive.
I can see the balance between trying to get bfp by BDing a lot and trying to sway pink by BDing just once from +opk can be tricky. As a blue swayer we are all about BDing 3 times in the fertile window.
I'll send you some of my pink dust :cheer: Good luck with your sway.

[mebiro215]

Thank you and good luck to you too!!💙💙💙

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[mebiro215]

It's done now so let's not worry about it for this month but yes it's been very predictive of blue to have 3 attempts in the fertile window.

Timing can really cut odds of conception so that is probably why you haven't conceived yet (and of course it does take an average of 3-6 months even without swaying to get pregnant, so sometimes it just isn't THE month.)

Even if you got boys with one attempt before, it is best to stick with what has worked for most people, most of the time. You got boys because of other stuff you were doing (diet, etc) and not the one attempt. We not only find one attempt = more girls with pink sways, but also that many of our blue sway opposites are people who had only one attempt.
Hey so here's something else that's strange too. Do we really need to avoid orgasm? I've made it a point to not enjoy dtd as much as usual while I'm in FW.

And when does a FW actually start? Is it at the 1st + OPK or is it just a few days or a week after af? I ask because I've only used apps before now so I'm still learning OPKS like, I had no clue I'd still be LH surging today and maybe even tomorrow. But my cm hasn't been EW yet and it usually is by now so I can't go by that. It's usually watery or not present, that's in the last week.

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[mebiro215]

And my coffee, can I put sugar and creamer in it or no?

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[Erin514]

I don't think atomic was trying to say you hadn't O'd, just that it's *possible* you hadn't, since an OPK can't pinpoint the exact day you will O. An OPK is just a warning that your body is getting ready to O soon, but how soon can vary. You could temp if you want a better picture than with OPKs alone, or you could just decide to have a single attempt at your first positive OPK next cycle and not worry too much about trying to pinpoint things. Or switch to an attempt every four days, if that's less stressful for you.

The fertile window is the day of O (which doesn't have great odds of conception, though), and the 4 days before. Again, there's the problem of figuring out O, but if you BD at pos OPK, chances are you're in the 4 days before O.

[mebiro215]

Ok thank you so much, that clears it up a little. I just can't believe how complicated all of this TTC is! We're gonna try the e4d and see how that goes. And Idk what to do if I don't get a BFP this time FF is predicting af to show on the 18th but it may be later if my LH surge is still going on OR if I haven't ovulated yet, right?

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[Erin514]

Are your periods regular? Do you normally have a 14-days luteal phase? If you are due on the 18th and your cycles are always regular and you normally have a 14-day luteal phase, then *probably* you already ovulated. But like I said, no one can know for sure just off OPKs alone. I think you should either start temping if you really want to pinpoint O, or make a conscious choice not to worry about it.

[atomic sagebrush]

Omg really?!! So I haven't O'd yet? Once it stops coming up positive, does that mean I have an egg waiting for fertilization?

Should I stop taking OPKs now, or should I just keep watching my surge?

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I can't tell you if you've Oed or not from here. Maybe, maybe not. The point is that the OPK don't tell you if the egg has dropped, they tell you about the hormones in your pee. You can have a positive test still (because your body is still working the hormones out) after O has happened, OR you can have a negative test and the egg not yet been released.

What we measure with OPK is just the surge. Not the O. It's a message that your body sends to itself saying "Hey, u should totally ovulate in the next couple days or so" and the message is hormones. This comes out in your pee, but it takes its own time, it can come out fast or over the course of a few days.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey so here's something else that's strange too. Do we really need to avoid orgasm? I've made it a point to not enjoy dtd as much as usual while I'm in FW.

And when does a FW actually start? Is it at the 1st + OPK or is it just a few days or a week after af? I ask because I've only used apps before now so I'm still learning OPKS like, I had no clue I'd still be LH surging today and maybe even tomorrow. But my cm hasn't been EW yet and it usually is by now so I can't go by that. It's usually watery or not present, that's in the last week.

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The conventional wisdom is yes avoid O, but we've done a lot of polls and the results are all over the map. I have a humorous "investigation" of the science here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/27912-o-no-orgasms-swaying.html

FW is just whenever you can have sex and some sperm will survive to make it to the egg. This is technically as long as O-5 thru O day but in reality, it's more like O-3 thru O day and even O-3 is a longshot.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok thank you so much, that clears it up a little. I just can't believe how complicated all of this TTC is! We're gonna try the e4d and see how that goes. And Idk what to do if I don't get a BFP this time FF is predicting af to show on the 18th but it may be later if my LH surge is still going on OR if I haven't ovulated yet, right?

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Yes, if your O was delayed then AF will come later as well, it's tacked onto whenever O happened (LP is, I mean)

[mebiro215]

Are your periods regular? Do you normally have a 14-days luteal phase? If you are due on the 18th and your cycles are always regular and you normally have a 14-day luteal phase, then *probably* you already ovulated. But like I said, no one can know for sure just off OPKs alone. I think you should either start temping if you really want to pinpoint O, or make a conscious choice not to worry about it.
My periods used to be between 28-30 days. But I got on the pill while I was dieting to lose weight and worry a little less about getting pregnant during. I stopped the pill at the end of November so I think my cycle is trying to get to whatever should be normal for me. Last 2 cycles were like 25 days long with a 12 day luteal phase in January and an 11 day LP in December according to FF. How soon are you thinking I may have ovulated? Are you guessing based on the typical cycle?

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[Erin514]

No I was just saying that if you always had 28 day cycles with 14-day LP there wouldn't be a reason to think this one would be significantly different but if your cycles have changed and you don't temp, I don't think anyone can tell you when you ovulated.

[mebiro215]

No I was just saying that if you always had 28 day cycles with 14-day LP there wouldn't be a reason to think this one would be significantly different but if your cycles have changed and you don't temp, I don't think anyone can tell you when you ovulated.
Ok thanks. I think things are still working themselves out... I wish I took things more seriously in the months leading up to now. I just didn't think it would take so long.

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[atomic sagebrush]

And my coffee, can I put sugar and creamer in it or no?

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If you're having it with meals, you can have sugar. If having in morning, better to skip sugar and either use sweetener or just cream.