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View Full Version : Do you have baby-naming remorse? You're not alone, says new poll.



nuthinbutpink
October 14th, 2011, 06:50 AM
by Piper Weiss, Shine Staff

What's in a name? Everything. That's why baby-naming books fuel a tireless sector of the publishing industry and why 8 percent of new parents wake up with night sweats fearing they've made the wrong choice.

A new poll, conducted by yourdomainename.com, found that almost one tenth of parents regret the name they've given their child. That's up from 3 percent compared to polls conducted in recent years.

So what's with all the remorse? Two words: Peer pressure.

More than half of the regretful parents surveyed said they opted for names that were trendy or fashionable (Apple, anyone?) in the moment. Thirty-two percent said their child's name ended up being more common then they first imagined.

"Just as our desire for interesting names is rising, so too is our obsession with choosing the right name," Laura Wattenburg, author of "The Baby Name Wizard" tells The Guardian. "Parents willing to go out and change a name is becoming more common because they are conscious they are sending their child out into a competitive landscape, so branding them for success makes sense. If the brand name doesn't work in the first instance, change it."

A baby isn't a brand, but sometimes, a little focus grouping can make parents rethink their gut impulses.
"I first got an inkling that we had given our baby the wrong name when another mother peered into his pram and said loudly, 'So, do you pronounce it Ralph or Raef?' It wasn't the mispronunciation that made me cringe but how horrible she made the word sound; all hoity-toity with ugly, drawn-out vowels," writes Lena Corner, a UK-based mom who changed her son's name from Ralph to Huxley after weeks of agonizing over the decision she made on her son's birth certificate.

For moms of multiples, there's also concern over how kids' names sound together. One mom wrote about her remorse on a parenting forum after she named her twin daughters Rosalie and Violet. "We realized that we didnt like the two-flower thing," she writes. "Within weeks we were becoming more and more embarrassed to even say the name that we had originally chosen for Rosalie, and always found ourselves introducing baby Violet first, since we both loved that name. Silly. I know. But true."

Because naming your child is one of those things you can "prepare for" before birth, a lot of parents find themselves rethinking their decision once they meet the little stranger.

After adopting baby Gabriella, one mom who shared her story on a fertility forum decided her daughter was more of an Abigail. "I had always said I would keep one of the names her mother gave her... But after about a month it wasn't working." So they nicknamed her Abby and kept her legal birth name the same. "Sometimes the name just doesn't fit the child and we have to do what's best for the everyone in the long run."

For parents who want to make a name change official, the process can be arduous. According to experts, a child doesn't recognize his or her name for about five months. But the legal system can take a lot longer than that. Depending on your state, the process involves a petition, a court order and anywhere from $65 to $150 in application fees. That's not accounting for additional legal fees if you hire a lawyer. (Check your state's requirements here.)

But for some parents all the paperwork is worth the reward. "Huxley is now 15 months old and "Ralph" just a far-off bad memory," writes Corner in The Guardian. "It was a difficult thing to do, but at least he's got the right name now."

nuthinbutpink
October 14th, 2011, 06:51 AM
DD3 I would probably change if I had the chance to do it over again. Wish I would have gone with a family name instead.

ELP
October 14th, 2011, 07:23 AM
My DH HATED our DD1's name for years! And he even got me to the point where I dreaded saying it of introducing her. He takes no notice of it now though,partly because DD1 loves her name and has given herself, well DD3 did, a cool nickname from it! Thank goodness lol. I have a funny feeling that if we do get another DS though, then his name will cause some discomfort? as the names bantered around for years just don't seem to be so appealing any more!

Glittergirl
October 14th, 2011, 11:46 PM
DS1's name i would change cause its become kinda common. In our culture we pronounce in differently, but in English the same spelling has become a very trendy name. Oh well!

begonia
October 14th, 2011, 11:51 PM
I totally dig baby naming :) My SIL regrets naming her DD what she did; it was quite trendy at the time. I remember reading Freakonomics when I was pg with DD1 ... fascinating chapter in that book re: naming and how different names change in popularity over time, and whether a name itself can have an impact on someone's life trajectory.

begonia
October 14th, 2011, 11:53 PM
DS1's name i would change cause its become kinda common. In our culture we pronounce in differently, but in English the same spelling has become a very trendy name. Oh well!

That's interesting, the pronunciation thing! I'm happy with the names of our girls and wouldn't change them. DH pretty much picked them though. We've got the first name for DD3 but not a middle yet, but a short list for that.

Glittergirl
October 15th, 2011, 12:08 AM
That's interesting, the pronunciation thing! I'm happy with the names of our girls and wouldn't change them. DH pretty much picked them though. We've got the first name for DD3 but not a middle yet, but a short list for that.
Yeah DS likes the American pronunciation for school so i just let it be. I still call him the way I named him, at home and most family call him by that pronunciation. It's not a huge difference, but it's unique and I'm big into unique names.

Glittergirl
October 15th, 2011, 12:09 AM
I totally dig baby naming :) My SIL regrets naming her DD what she did; it was quite trendy at the time. I remember reading Freakonomics when I was pg with DD1 ... fascinating chapter in that book re: naming and how different names change in popularity over time, and whether a name itself can have an impact on someone's life trajectory.

so does it impact their life? I would think it does to some extent if they get teased and bullied their whole childhood!

begonia
October 15th, 2011, 08:04 PM
so does it impact their life? I would think it does to some extent if they get teased and bullied their whole childhood!

This paid more attention to the overall life outcome, but yes I agree ... bullying would be rough! Anyhow what the study found was that no, the name could be an indicator of their life path, but not a cause of it.

zanacal
October 16th, 2011, 01:40 PM
I love all my boys names - and one of my tests for whether a name works is that it sounds good on a baby *and* an adult - if he turns out to be a doctor or a lawyer (and I don't care if none of them do!) will his name sound silly?! I'm a little more stuck for baby #4! ELP - it must be so difficult to keep finding names you like after the first half dozen or so :D

Hobbermittens
October 16th, 2011, 06:30 PM
I like my kids' names, but DD1's name has turned out to be more popular than I would like (though I wouldn't have given her a different name; her name fits her and has special meaning to us).

When I was struggling to name DD2 in the hospital after she was born, a nurse helped me by saying, "Imagine the name on her wedding invitation, and see if it would fit a grown woman." That made me think twice about "cutesy" names.