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Lilac♥
January 10th, 2011, 02:34 PM
I'm having a terrible time with deciding if I should find out or not. It's like I only want to find out if I'll hear what I want to hear. But I also don't want to go into delivery not knowing and have a girl. So I feel like either way I should probably find out, I just don't want to deal with disappointment anytime soon. But unless there's problems with my pregnancy I won't be having another ultrasound after this one.

nuthinbutpink
January 10th, 2011, 03:06 PM
Tough call. Part of me would want to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy no matter what. It really didn't help me to find out. Just made the sadness/mourning start sooner rather than later. Good luck with what you decide.

Claire
January 10th, 2011, 04:26 PM
It helps me to find out. It doesn't make the pregnancy better when the gender isn't what I wanted, but it does mean that I don't get my hopes up for another 5 months and then get a big dose of reality in the delivery room. I'm a c-section mom, too, so I can't count on endorphins or instant cuddling to make me feel better.

BoyDreaming
January 10th, 2011, 05:23 PM
I'm debating on this very thing. With DD3 I was told 99% boy early on. Then a few weeks later I found out she was all girl. If I had been told girl upfront it would've been hard, but I could've dealt with it. Being the way it was, it ruined my pregnancy with her and made it harder for me to bond with her until delivery. Therefore, I'm slightly leaning towards letting DH find out and I'll remain in the dark the entire pregnancy. I know once we're in the OR at the c-section it won't make a difference to me, but a boy would be the best surprise ever.

chachamama
January 10th, 2011, 06:52 PM
I think you should find out... You already think it's a girl from the nub shots, I think you'd drive yourself crazy waiting (at least, I would).
If we have a third, I'm not finding out - no nub guesses either! But if I had nub guesses, I'd have to find out :)

RedCanoe
January 10th, 2011, 07:52 PM
I wanted to know so that I could have time to get used to the idea before baby came. Gave me time to find a name I love, and to start planning for him. Also didn't want 9 months of people "wishing a girl" for me and then telling everyone it's the 3rd boy.... I don't know, I think there are advantages and disadvantages to knowing ahead of time... gl! :)

Liv
January 10th, 2011, 11:55 PM
Honestly, I would opt to find out. I just wouldn't want to have false hope. I really hope you get your boy :) GL!

Saga
January 11th, 2011, 02:48 AM
I would find out. When I found out with ds2 it did ruin the rest of my pregnancy, but when I gave brth to him I had been mourning for twenty weeks and I was done with it! I could enjoy him instantly, didnt have to worry about gender.

Ashgirl
January 20th, 2011, 08:53 PM
I'm in the minority here, but I wouldn't find out. I thought it would build up GD. With my 3rd, by the time I was ready to deliver, I was so over being pregnant, I didn't care about gender.

Kiesse
April 13th, 2011, 08:27 PM
Hmmm this is a hard one. With my last one, i never swayed but i did want a little girl, I wasnt sure at the time if i wanted to know so I asked the person who done the scan to write down "its a boy" Or "its a girl" and put it inside a sealed envelope. There were many times I wanted to open it and have a peek, then about 28 weeks it got the better of me so when no one was home, i opened it and read i was having another little boys. i sealed it in another envelope so DH didnt know, I managed to deal with it in my own way and was reminded by my other son that if the baby was gonna come out looking half as cute as what he was then i knew id be fine. Delievery day came and went and part of me wishes i didnt peek because as soon as i picked im up and looked into those eyes, i was so in vlove, more than what i thought i could ever be. I still long for a little girl but am so in love with my boys....... Follow your heart and do what you think is right and what will help you. xxx

boys,boys.boys!!!
March 11th, 2012, 04:48 PM
i wouldnt find out, although it killed me not knowing, especailly not knowing for sure as i thought i saw "boy bits" on my scan! my family kept telling me to find out as they thought it would be better to know and come round to the idea that it was boy number 3, they even got me doubting how i would react if it was another boy, but i held out and the minute the midwife held him up and said "can u see what it is?" i can honestly say i didnt think "oh no another boy" or any thoughts like that (i was suprised at myself) just how cute he was!! i think if i had known for sure i wuold have spent the rest of my pregnancy feeling negative towards him, and now i have him i wouldnt swop him for the world!! x

I♥DKB?
March 12th, 2012, 08:45 PM
I like the idea of asking the technician to write it down on paper and seal it in an envelope. That way you don't have to decide immediately. If in a few weeks you want to know you'll have the opportunity.

I Love Ladybugs
March 17th, 2012, 01:02 AM
I wish with a part of me, that I would have lied to Dh about finding out gender with DS#2 and not gone through with finding out for him. I enjoyed the mystery with DS#1!

Txmom
March 22nd, 2012, 07:40 AM
I will find out when we for for our next one but that is because I am impatient.

Lassie1982
March 22nd, 2012, 08:02 AM
I personally would find out, and WILL be finding out asap - in fact i think i will invest in a blood test.
For me, its because I dont want to carry hope, Im pretty confidant that i will be fine if its not a girl, disappointed yes, but not excessively. That said, since i am trying really hard, and hoping for a girl, I would rather know as soon as I can wether or not it is a girl or boy. That way, if it is a boy, i can deal with it, get over it, and look forward to the new addition.
But everyone deals with situations differently - so what suits one person, wont suit another.
I think this is one of those situations where no amount of advice will help - it really comes down to what you in your heart of hearts think will be best for you.

ejk741
April 14th, 2012, 02:31 AM
i would find out. i was very disappointed when i found out i was having a girl at the ultrasound. buuuutt. i had time to get use to the idea. when she was placed in my arms any disappointment i had went away. i am scared that if i hadn't found out, i would have "felt" that she was my boy until they said "it's a girl" . i don't know how well i would have dealt with the shock. i liked that i got to get over my sadness in private.

Princess of Pink
April 14th, 2012, 03:54 AM
I would find out for 100% sure! I didn't find out with DD#4 and while I was fine at the birth and was happy and adored her...that night when I was alone the depression and obsession about trying again started. I wondered what I had done wrong as we had done a strong boy sway, blah, blah, blah. I was depressed for months. With DD#5 I found out and was in hell for a few months but by the time she was born I was bonded to her and happy and I had no false hope at all, or disappointment!!

Myloves
April 14th, 2012, 07:20 AM
I wonder how Lilac is doing? Hopefully she's happy and well.

fun family
April 17th, 2012, 10:01 AM
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you are handling things ok.

Possible pink?
April 18th, 2012, 11:41 AM
I would find out. I didn't with my second. I think partially because I was scared to. When it was a boy again, I had tremendous disappointment and depression and then horribly guilty feelings about this. I think
If I would have found out at 20 wks, yes I would have been disappointed but would have then gotten used to the idea and had 5 months to fall in love. It's too hard with the hormones, lack of sleep and guilt upon feeling it at what should be the best day of your life.