Urgent advice please for plan of attack. :)

[1moregirl]

hi ladies. So, I'm onto CD18 today and I haven't had any OPKs and have been a bit under the weather so not sure that I'll get out to the shops to buy any new ones now. I just had my first bit of EWCM today and I started BBTing again a few days ago. Chances are I probably would've gotten my first Pos OPK yesterday anyway so prob a bit late to start with those now. We BD last night, so my question is should we BD again tonight and just continue on with SMEP? I know it's hard to tell when I'm not using OPKs. I'm thinking of just BD again for 2 nights in a row, take a night off, then again the next night like SMEP. Is this what you would have me do Atomic? I will post a pic of my chart to give you an idea also. I half expect to O today or tomorrow. Should I go out and buy OPKs? I don't know. Thanks.

35514

[ever hopeful]

Please don't be offended by this but if I was you I would throw away all charts - stop buying OPKs and just BD as much as possible around O time. What will be, will be and fingers crossed you will catch the golden egg and get your longed for 4th baby. xx

[1moregirl]

Thanks Ever hopeful. My BBT dipped slightly this morning so I am certain I will O today sometime and tomorrow morning will see BBT rise above the coverline. I didn't buy OPKs. Not going to worry about buying them again unless I happen to have the spare money one day. Lol! Thanks for your advice. Yes I soooo live by that motto...what will be will be. I am feeling quite achey this morning and we did BD last night so we'll see how we go. DH and I are in a good place at the moment and enjoying regular BD too which helps. Although I do have a cold sore at The he moment and feeling quite run down so surely that isn't going to help pop out a golden egg. ;) thanks for taking the time to reply Ever hopeful. Xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, just BD the next 2 nights, then go back to EOD unless you ahve reason to believe you are having a delayed O.

[1moregirl]

Thanks Atomic. So you think we should BD again tonight? That will be 4 days in a row. Is that ok? My BBT has risen this morning above the coverline but not a huge rise, so I probably should BD again just in case. I will include another pic of my chart. It was difficult to take BbT this morning as I still had my diva cup in that I had put in last night after we BD. I don't know why I used it this time, it was just a last minute decision to make me feel a bit more proactive I think. It's really strange as I often get sore nipples just prior to O but I haven't had that at all this time. Weird! Anyway, Atomic should we BD tonight again (4th time in a row) and then skip one night and then go back to every other night? Thanks for your advice. I'm not completely hopeful of getting a live baby out of all of this...I'm extremely realistic given all the odds and statistics, but I am viewing it as like I view the lottery....'you've gotta be in it to win it!' :) here's my chart.

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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it's fine to BD 4 days in a row just to be on the safe side and then go back to every other day.

:agree: that was what I figured too - if it happened, it happened, but I just didn't think it would. But without trying, I KNEW it wouldn't. so better a slim chance than none.

[1moregirl]

Thanks Atomic. We didn't get to BD last night as we were both just too exhausted and I wasn't feeling well. I'm loving homeschooling but am a bit run down I think, as difficult working out times to fit in everything....lessons, housework, cleaning up puppy puddles and crayons (our word for doggy Doo). I'm planning to start making bath bombs and soaps and things to sell online as well so need to find time to fit that in as well. Anyway, I couldn't believe this morning's BbT was almost the same as yesterday's, so it seems like O is indeed delayed. Very unusual. I'm CD 21 today and it still seems like I haven't Oed, or maybe I'm just not going to this cycle. Will post another pic of my chart and will def use OPKs next time as it jut gives you that extra bit of info to help pinpoint O. Will BD tonight and just do every second night from now on. See what happens.

35550

[1moregirl]

Or could it be possible that I Oed back on CD16, the day after I had the bloodtinged EWCM? I know it's a guessing game when I haven't consistently BBTed the whole way through or done OPKs. Bugger! I haven't had sore boobs at all or any O pain and not even a lot of EWCM this time either, although I did seem to collect quite a bit of that in the diva cup yesterday. Maybe I should just cave and buy some OPKs today and see what one of them says? Thanks.

[MrsGoodies]

That's why i like to use opk. Temps are too variable.

Fingers crossed for you this month 1moregirl.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh yes trust me I totally understand! It's a LOT to HS and work and maintain the house!

Anything is possible of course - I would just BD EOD. Remember, it doesn't matter when you O! You don't need OPK or temps, just regular sex! That's what counts and that is what will keep you from obsessing about it as much too!

[1moregirl]

Well here I am on CD 22 today and I still don't think I've Oed. Maybe I'm just not going to. It's ridiculous. I took my BbT twice this morning...first one was 36.53 which is the same or close to yesterday's and the second one was 36.60, so I just recorded down the second one. I also had more EWCM yesterday so BD last night. I guess we will just have to continue on with every second night BD and see what happens. I have had a bit of a sore throats and felt run down lately so I guess that must just be delaying things. I don't think I have ever Oed this late in a cycle before. What a pain in the bottom!!!! Grrrrr.........

[atomic sagebrush]

Try to remember when our moms were born, people didn't know about any of this stuff. :) All you have to do is have sex. You don't need to know when you Oed or even if you did, just keep BD and that is how babies are made.

[1moregirl]

Well my BbT this morn was the same as today's so strange. I did an OPK yesterday and today and they were both negative, yet on yesterday's the second line was darker than today's, which would insinuate that O has already occurred some time prior to yesterday. Who knows when? Maybe there is something wrong with my stupid thermometer? I don't know. I did have a lot of wetness today a couple of times when I wiped after going to toilet, yet it wasn't EWCM...more a combo of watery and sticky. Anyway, I'm sure O has already happened somewhere and I couldn't have done better with BDs than what we did. Here's a pic of the OPK tests. The one with lighter second line is today's.

35603

[1moregirl]

So in that pic above of OPKs the bottom one is today's.....a definite negative.

[MrsGoodies]

Strange 1moregirl.

Could be thermometer.

Could be slow rise in charts.

Could be gearing to O but didnt.

Lots of possibilities.

[atomic sagebrush]

You can't tell when you ovulate based on when your test goes negative or gets darker.

[atomic sagebrush]

Remember one temp in isolation can be wrong or misleading that is why we need the overall pattern and 3 high temps to tell you (only in retrospect) the day you probably Oed.

[1moregirl]

Well this morning I woke up at 4.30am with pains in my hoohaa. I had to roll over a few times to get comfortable somehow else in order to get back to sleep. Weird! Then this morning my BBT has shot up to 36.86 and today I have had some faint period type pains. This cycle has me baffled but it's ok...I'm just cruising along. Will wait and see. FF surprised me with where it decided to put crossroads for O but I know it's just a guess really. I'm happy with how many BDs we've done. It felt like the honeymoon period all over again. ;) hehehe

35618

[atomic sagebrush]

Yeah, I doubt that's when you Oed. We'll see what happens with temps.

[1moregirl]

Well FF changed my O day from CD 19 til CD 23. A big difference there and I can't remember the last time I Oed soooo late, if in fact I did O on CD 23. Who knows? I guess I really do need to use OPKs as well just for that extra bit of information. I will post a pic of my chart again as well. When do you think I Oed?

35663

[1moregirl]

It's most likely I would've had a positive OPK on CD 20 or 21 since the first negative one I did on CD 22 was not far off a positive, but a definite neg since that second line was not as dark as the control line. Soooo frustrating. Look at all that BD we did....that in itself was exhausting as there were quite a few late nights there. And just when I was pleased with our BD efforts, it seems after all that we missed O day and after O any bloody way. Oh well....I guess if you get a really good quality egg you'd only need a couple of good Bd attempts just prior to O to nail that egg wouldn't yuo? I keep seeing my friend with her lovely big round 37 week baby belly and I just want that sooomuch as well...just one last time. I still find it very difficult to accept that I used to be highly fertile (even my last child was conceived with 1 BD attempt in my whole fertile window at the age of 40) and now I'm starting to wonder if I have any decent eggs left.

[MrsGoodies]

Looks to me like you BD nearly everyday and even if you didn't BD ON O day, then there would be day before and 2 days prior to boot so you have your bases covered.

If knowing exact day of O will be driving you crazy then get some opk so you wont have any doubts.

I do opk 2-3x per day in my window just to make sure i dont miss it.

[atomic sagebrush]

Again, and I'm sorry to sound like a broken record, but I feel like you get so focused on when you've BDed when the elephant in the room really IS your eggs. That's what the issue is. I wish it wasn't, but that's what it is, and all the stress/obsessing about when you DTD is only HURTING your chances because your body interprets that as too stressful a situation to take a chance on pregnancy.

There is no way any of us can tell you "oh yes this one thing needs to be changed" or that if you'd only BD on a different day you'd have gotten pregnant. The odds are against you at this point so just try to keep finding that place of acceptance where you keep having sex but other than that just put it out of your mind as much as possible. good luck.

[MrsGoodies]

Again, and I'm sorry to sound like a broken record, but I feel like you get so focused on when you've BDed when the elephant in the room really IS your eggs. That's what the issue is. I wish it wasn't, but that's what it is, and all the stress/obsessing about when you DTD is only HURTING your chances because your body interprets that as too stressful a situation to take a chance on pregnancy.

.

This isn't exactly true. It s not the eggs which are the problem but rather the HORMONAL ENVIRONMENT from which they are grown.

They have proven this in animal studies where old ovaries are placed into young animals and healthy litters are born. The 'old' eggs grew, matured and divided just as the 'young eggs' did because they were bathed in the ideal amount of hormones.

The idea of "old eggs" will soon be in the rubbish bin along with "its impossible for old women to give birth" (which was thought until 20 yrs ago)...yeah until these women's bodies are bathed in hormones and then it suddenly becomes possible for a 65 yr old women to deliver twins!

[atomic sagebrush]

And the difference to any of this is...what? I'm not trying to write an informative essay on the whys and wherefores of all this, I'm trying to help keep it real instead of giving false hope.

Fact is, HALF a woman's eggs or more are dead by the time they are born. Millions more die before hit puberty. Tons of them die month after month regardless of what our hormones are. Our eggs are programmed to die by the time we reach a certain age. It is what it is. I'm not saying this to be a big fat meanie, I'm saying it to report the facts which are that the older we get, the harder it is to get pregnant. Yeah, they may fix that someday, but in the here and now, this is reality. It's tough as hell to get pregnant in mid-40's, period, end of story. It absolutely sucks, honestly I wouldn't mind riding the merry go round one more time either, but this is the truth of the situation.

When I have someone every month who is devastated and depressed, making themselves miserable, beating themselves up over what they did wrong, poring over calendars and temp charts, wishing they had BD a slightly different pattern or a different day, wondering what would have happened if only they had taken a magic pill, while the elephant in the room is sitting there quietly reading the newspaper I'm sorry, I HAVE TO point that out. Age is the most likely reason why a person in their mid 40's has not gotten pregnant. By far. I wish I didn't have to say it again and again that this is the truth of the situation. I don't particularly want to, in fact I hate it, but when I am being asked point blank what a person did "wrong" and why they didn't conceive, what am I supposed to do? Say nothing? Suggest a series of ineffective but harmless herbs? Lie and have them tweak BD a little this way or that knowing all the time that it's a placebo?

Now, my recommendation is to simply try to accept this and keep on trying. That's the solution. Ruining one's life for 2 weeks every month, over an expectation of a positive pregnancy test every month that probably isn't coming, is NOT a solution. My advice, for whatever it's worth, which may entirely be nothing at all, is to stop expecting the BFP, stop letting it rain on the parade and ruin little the time we are given with the children we DO have, and roll with it. The egg may show up. Go into it with eyes wide open, accepting the facts of the situation for what they are, and sometimes we get lucky. Spending one's life sad and depressed with a pee stick in one hand and a vaginal thermometer in the other is no way to live.

[MrsGoodies]

When I have someone every month who is devastated and depressed, making themselves miserable, beating themselves up over what they did wrong, poring over calendars and temp charts, wishing they had BD a slightly different pattern or a different day, wondering what would have happened if only they had taken a magic pill, while the elephant in the room is sitting there quietly reading the newspaper I'm sorry, I HAVE TO point that out. Age is the most likely reason why a person in their mid 40's has not gotten pregnant. By far. I wish I didn't have to say it again and again that this is the truth of the situation. I don't particularly want to, in fact I hate it, but when I am being asked point blank what a person did "wrong" and why they didn't conceive, what am I supposed to do? Say nothing? Suggest a series of ineffective but harmless herbs? Lie and have them tweak BD a little this way or that knowing all the time that it's a placebo?


Sorry, but I was under the impression this was a "Later Moms" SUPPORT board...not a "Sucks to be you" tough love board.

Its hard conceiving over 40 I will give you that, however I hear enough negativity IRL from doctors, well meaning friends (who think I'm crazy for even thinking of another), to even my own reluctant DH....i come here for a bit if support, good wishes and by golly...even some HOPE and positive stories.

Atomic, I can't imagine that you would go to an infertility board and tell someone with male factor who was looking for support and suggestions on how to improve their husband's sperm count with:

"well, you need to face facts...you are not getting pregnant because your husband's sperm can't swim....his sperm sucks...period. NO amount of supplements and wishes is going to change that so you need to just accept it and move on and stop praying for a miracle...sorry"

I'm sure 1moregirl is simply coming here for some well wishes and encouragement...and the occasional vent. We should support her as best we can :)

[1moregirl]

I can see both of your points of view. Just to be clear, I am not depressed and hung up about not getting a BFP. I have indeed accepted that it most likely won't happen again for me, but it is still nice to come on here and get support when the rest of the world does seem to be negative about women in their 40s getting pregnant (like MrsG said). It's also difficult to come here to the 'later Mums' section and reading, for example, a woman who is 38 and questoining whether or not she should do one more try to conceive the boy or girl she so desires when '38 is definitely her cutoff age limit to get pregnant again.' Reading things like that is pretty tough I find. Perhaps we need a forum group specifically for women ttc in their 40s? I certainly don't waste time with OPKs and BBT and I certainly DO cherish the beautiful children that I do have and spend as much time with them every day that I possibly can. I don't sit around at home depressed because I'm not getting pregnant again, etc. No way! But every now and then it is nice to come on here and vent when we have limited friends, family members (and even husbands like MrsG said) who understand and know what we are going through. Anyway, I have a bandaged up belly at the moment because a week ago I accidentally spilled boiling water straight from the kettle onto it and ended up with almost second degree burns. It hurt more than labour! But I'm just glad it was me and not one of the kids. It is school holidays here so been catching up with friends and enjoying our puppy and the unusually warm Autumn weather we have been having. My DH turned 47 on the 4th and has been quite moody again lately and not very talkative with me (I could almost swear he is going through some sore of midlife crisis) so I'm just trying to be cheerful and avoiding him a bit to be honest. I'll attach a pic of my chart so far. I think it is going to have been one hell of a long cycle by the time AF arrives. Also, I don't know if I am getting early menopause symptoms but every time I do the dishes I feel very hot and my cheeks start to flush. Could that be what it is? I dunno.

35719

[MrsGoodies]

Ouch! That belly situation sounds horrible. Pray it heals up soon.

TTC over 40 board sounds like a good idea but it would probably only have 2 members LOL!

I realy question a lot of stats for over 40 since 95% of the population has voluntarily stopped ttc by then.

Fwiw, after teenagers, abortion rates are second highest in the over 40 group....too many "surprise pg" for women assuming they are no longer fertile.

[1moregirl]

Thanks MrsG. And for all your support. I wish there were a few more of us in our 40s in here. I know that I am a bit manic with my ttc posts...one week I am saying 'I've lost hope...it's never gonna happen, etc, etc....' and then another week I am saying, 'well...I'm still trying but it's ok if it doesn't happen, etc, etc.' I really just come on here to vent and let out what is going on in my mind when I can't express these thoughts to others and because we are amongst like-minded supportive ladies. I am certainly not sitting around depressed because I haven't gotten pregnant again and/or obsessed with POAS. No way! I'm a very devoted hands-on, home-schooling Mum and I cherish every day, night and moment with my kids...and Dh of course. Anyway, I do have a question....sure you can't be cranky like PMT cranky and the mild period pains in tummy and lower back and feeling bloated and end up with a BFP? I just can't remember TBH. I remember being cranky when pregnant with our third but I'm sure thwt was after we'd gotten the BFP and somewhere between week 4 and 6. All day today I have felt like AF has been coming and at one stage whilst doing the dishes I felt wet below and took off to the loo expecting AF to be there but no...no spotting...nothing. I also haven't had the usual EWCM that I usually get the day before AF arrives. Anyway, I did pee in jar this morning but it's been sitting there all day unused as I couldn't muster up an ounce of courage to do a HPT. Will see what tomorrow brings. Perhaps my BBT will have dropped a lot in the morning and AF will arrive.

[1moregirl]

Well...just another BFN to add the collection. I shouldn't be surprised. I guess I really was holding onto a little glimmer of hope this time. Especially after that temp rise yesterday. But then when it had dropped this morning I knew it was game over. I just wish AF would hurry up and bloody arrive already. I have felt it coming since yesterday yet I did a HPT today and it was definitely negative. Not even a hint of a second line. Damn! I had quite a bit of period type pains after O this time round so thought I was in with a chance since last time I had that I'm sure I got a BFP. I should've had that Hysterescopy probably. Oh well...:(

[MrsGoodies]

So sorry to hear about your BFN 1moregirl

[1moregirl]

Thanks MrsG. Thank heavens you and I have each other for support here at it's been very quiet otherwise. You would think we would be used to getting BFNs by now wouldn't you? It just sucks. I think I'm going to contact my FS/ob-gym again and see if he would agree to do one of those HSGs (are they those X-rays where they go in through the cervix and inject a fluid and take photos to determine if there is any scarring or adhesions or polyps?) Then if there is something that shows up, I will have the Hysterescopy. If there is nothing, then I will know 100% without a doubt that it is just egg quality. I need to be a bit proactive about this now before it is well and truly too late. I also am going to just do every second night again for BD as perhaps the SMEP and BD daily is too much for DH? Maybe now just all my eggs are shitty and I am entering menapause. Man...it really sucks being in your 40s when your heart is set on another baby. I think this is mostly hormones talking as my AF is arriving as we speak. I swear to God Mother Nature is taunting and teasing me, as even this morning my BBT had gone up a bit again instead of dropping again. Yuor hopes go up, then they go down, then they go up, then they go down. I wish I could just not want another baby and totally go off the idea altogether. Lol! I am just soooo thankful for the three little cherubs I have already and that we are all healthy and happy. How are you going MrsG? where are you in your cycle at the moment? Have you given yourself a cutoff age of trying?

[squigglepink]

Hi 1moregirl- I have just returned from a hysteroscopy, if you have any questions please ask xx

(PS - I turn 40 in 3 weeks)

[djmommy]

Hi 1 more girl. I just wanted to chime in and tell you not to give up hope if you really want another baby, but try not to let it consume you. Believe me, I know how consuming it definitely can be. I TTC my last baby for 2 years, not one Bfp and very low amh. I mean I think it was .03. I finally got to the point where I knew I would continue trying but kinda stopped expecting a Bfp. And finally did get pregnant. I remember the RE telling me that I had a better chance at winning the lottery than getting pregnant with my numbers. And now I am 21 weeks pregnant again and my little one is only 9.5 months old so it can definitely happen!! .xo know

Forgot to add that I just turned 41!!

[skillet04]

Marilyn shannon has an excellent book about fertility nutrition and cycles. As long as you are ovulating there is always hope :) but yes also glad to hear there are other people in your life to focus on and just not prevent another child from joining your family while living your life to the fullest.
(Each time i happened to spontaneously ovulate and that egg met sperm was when i was working full time and going to college full time and the 2nd time i was also home educating my first and on a ministry dance team so busy bee) hope you can enjoy the journey and have only gladness :)

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

[1moregirl]

Hi 1moregirl- I have just returned from a hysteroscopy, if you have any questions please ask xx

(PS - I turn 40 in 3 weeks)

Thanks Squigglepink. I would like to ask you why you had a Hysterescopy? Did you have a general anaesthetic with yours? I think my main concern about it is the cost, as it would cost us more than $1,000 OOP. I'm sure I probably do need one though as my periods have definitely changed since my D&C in 2015. Blood flow of AF has been lighter and clottier and not as painful as they used to be. Did they find and/or remove anything during your Hysterescopy? Thanks for leaving your message and I hope you get a BFP soon. Xx

[1moregirl]

Hi 1 more girl. I just wanted to chime in and tell you not to give up hope if you really want another baby, but try not to let it consume you. Believe me, I know how consuming it definitely can be. I TTC my last baby for 2 years, not one Bfp and very low amh. I mean I think it was .03. I finally got to the point where I knew I would continue trying but kinda stopped expecting a Bfp. And finally did get pregnant. I remember the RE telling me that I had a better chance at winning the lottery than getting pregnant with my numbers. And now I am 21 weeks pregnant again and my little one is only 9.5 months old so it can definitely happen!! .xo know

Forgot to add that I just turned 41!!

Thanks djmommy. Wow! So maybe AMH level is not the be all and end all we sometimes think it is. So easy to get caught up with numbers, results, figures, and statistics sometimes. Enjoy your pregnancy. I was almost 41 when I had our last baby (he is 4 yrs old now). I just had blood drawn 2 days ago to get my AMH level redone (it was 6.5 end of 2015 when I was 44, so I thought it would be interesting to see what it would be now and how much it has actually dropped in 17-18 months), plus FSH and LH as well. It's so much harder ttc in your 40s as doctors and obs and FSs seem reluctant to test us for anything as their answer is always just our egg quality because of our age. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story with me and giving me some hope. Xx

[XXforhubby]

Thanks djmommy. Wow! So maybe AMH level is not the be all and end all we sometimes think it is. So easy to get caught up with numbers, results, figures, and statistics sometimes. Enjoy your pregnancy. I was almost 41 when I had our last baby (he is 4 yrs old now). I just had blood drawn 2 days ago to get my AMH level redone (it was 6.5 end of 2015 when I was 44, so I thought it would be interesting to see what it would be now and how much it has actually dropped in 17-18 months), plus FSH and LH as well. It's so much harder ttc in your 40s as doctors and obs and FSs seem reluctant to test us for anything as their answer is always just our egg quality because of our age. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story with me and giving me some hope. Xx

While I'm not 40 (37), I had an AMH level of 0 when I conceived my DS3 at 35. I also was able to conceive this baby, although it took me 11 months instead of 8 months. If you can handle it, keep trying or at the very least NTNP. I think sometimes it takes waiting for the perfect egg, unfortunately we don't know when or how long it may take.

FX so hard for you!!


[emoji170]8/2010 [emoji170]6/2013 [emoji170]11/2015 [emoji170]
[emoji178]Baby Girl [emoji254]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji178]

https://lmtm.lilypie.com/kIlmm5.png (https://lilypie.com)

[1moregirl]

Marilyn shannon has an excellent book about fertility nutrition and cycles. As long as you are ovulating there is always hope :) but yes also glad to hear there are other people in your life to focus on and just not prevent another child from joining your family while living your life to the fullest.
(Each time i happened to spontaneously ovulate and that egg met sperm was when i was working full time and going to college full time and the 2nd time i was also home educating my first and on a ministry dance team so busy bee) hope you can enjoy the journey and have only gladness :)

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

Thanks for sharing Skillet. I'll definitely check out our local library and internet for that book you mentioned. I am a bit of a shocker with diet. I know for fertility we should give up wheat and go gluten free and no sugar or caffeine (chocolate, sweets and cups of tea are my weaknesses). I really do need to start exercising more so walking our puppy heaps and going to start yoga very soon. I am a busy homeschooling Mum too to my 8, 7 and 4 year old. Am loving not sending them off to school every day for some other adult to teach them and see them. I wanted to be the one to teach them and for us to be more of a family by spending each day together. Yes they could be in school and I could be out there earning quite a lot of money teaching other children, but neither my children nor I and my DH would be happier that way. I noticed you have 2 lovely boys and hope for a girl one day. I hope and pray you and yuor family are blessed with a little girl very soon. Xx

[1moregirl]

While I'm not 40 (37), I had an AMH level of 0 when I conceived my DS3 at 35. I also was able to conceive this baby, although it took me 11 months instead of 8 months. If you can handle it, keep trying or at the very least NTNP. I think sometimes it takes waiting for the perfect egg, unfortunately we don't know when or how long it may take.

FX so hard for you!!


[emoji170]8/2010 [emoji170]6/2013 [emoji170]11/2015 [emoji170]
[emoji178]Baby Girl [emoji254]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji178]

https://lmtm.lilypie.com/kIlmm5.png (https://lilypie.com)

Xxforhubby - thanks soooo much for sharing that as well Hun. I see you are 15 weeks along. Big congratulations! Yes I think DH and I are kind of doing the NTNP thing at the moment. For a long time after my MC in August 2015 I was just too scared to try again. I would sometimes have a panic attack and just not be able to go through with BD. But then I remembered some of my life mottos such as, 'no pain, no gain' and 'you have to be in it to win it' - if you don't try you will never know and may even end up with regret. I try not to, but I really do envy the Mums I know who got to start having babies when they were in their late 20s or early 30s. I feel like I was robbed of that or almost like life cheated me a bit. I would've loved to have started younger but I just never had luck with men. When I met my husband I was 35. I was living on my own with my 3 doggy babies and I finally put myself out there in the online dating scene and the rest is history, so they say. Lol! Having babies and raising them and being a Mum have been the best years of my life and I haven't been ready to say goodbye to those baby years, if that makes sense. So this ttc journey in your 40s gig has been tough and a lot of the time I have felt like I have been quietly grieving for my declining fertility. I have a really close friend who has been a god send to me since my MC and she is now herself 38 weeks pregnant with her 4th child and It has been a struggle for me because she neither wanted or had tried for this 4th baby, yet I had been trying and wanting like mad for a 4th. Funny how life works out sometimes! She is 36 and having her 4th and final baby and I had my first baby when I was 36. Anyway, I am sorry for rambling on like this, but always in the back of my mind is one day there may be at least one other 45 yr old or older lady out there who feels the same as me and will come across these posts and who will not feel alone. Xx

[squigglepink]

Thanks Squigglepink. I would like to ask you why you had a Hysterescopy? Did you have a general anaesthetic with yours? I think my main concern about it is the cost, as it would cost us more than $1,000 OOP. I'm sure I probably do need one though as my periods have definitely changed since my D&C in 2015. Blood flow of AF has been lighter and clottier and not as painful as they used to be. Did they find and/or remove anything during your Hysterescopy? Thanks for leaving your message and I hope you get a BFP soon. Xx

I had local anaesthetic which was actually fine for my pain threshold (which is zero)! They removed placenta tissue, which for some reason my body was holding on to since October last year (when i miscarried). Fortunately i didn't have to pay for it, as i live in the UK (We have the NHS). I really needed to have it done as the Ultrasounds were showing the tissue there and it was messing with AF.
Also, the consultant pointed out on the screen that i have fibroids - so that was also something useful that came from it, as i will discuss this with my Doctor next week regarding fertility and whether i should just ignore it (which will likely be his advise) and ttc or have an ultrasound to see exactly where it is.

[1moregirl]

I had local anaesthetic which was actually fine for my pain threshold (which is zero)! They removed placenta tissue, which for some reason my body was holding on to since October last year (when i miscarried). Fortunately i didn't have to pay for it, as i live in the UK (We have the NHS). I really needed to have it done as the Ultrasounds were showing the tissue there and it was messing with AF.
Also, the consultant pointed out on the screen that i have fibroids - so that was also something useful that came from it, as i will discuss this with my Doctor next week regarding fertility and whether i should just ignore it (which will likely be his advise) and ttc or have an ultrasound to see exactly where it is.

Thanks Squiggle. Did yuo feel any discomfort at all? Here is Aus the doctors seem to insist on giving patients a GA for every procedure you have. It's ridiculous. And I don't like GAs as the last 2 times I had them (one for gallbladder removal a few years ago and then D&C I woke up both times finding it hard to breath for a while). My FS said he could just sedate me with a twilight anaesthetic but I'm sure I could do local just as well. I will have to investigate further I think and see if there is a way for me to have one done without (or with limited) cost involved. I do have a referral to go and see a different FS to get second opinions and things so I will go and see her and see what advice she offers. Thank again for sharing your experience and I hope you will be able to conceive your pink bundle very soon. Xx

[MrsGoodies]

That sounds like a good plan 1moregirl.

A second opinion always makes sense when surgery is involved.

[squigglepink]

Thanks Squiggle. Did yuo feel any discomfort at all? Here is Aus the doctors seem to insist on giving patients a GA for every procedure you have. It's ridiculous. And I don't like GAs as the last 2 times I had them (one for gallbladder removal a few years ago and then D&C I woke up both times finding it hard to breath for a while). My FS said he could just sedate me with a twilight anaesthetic but I'm sure I could do local just as well. I will have to investigate further I think and see if there is a way for me to have one done without (or with limited) cost involved. I do have a referral to go and see a different FS to get second opinions and things so I will go and see her and see what advice she offers. Thank again for sharing your experience and I hope you will be able to conceive your pink bundle very soon. Xx

To be fair, once they found the mass, the consultant said i should go back on the list as a day patient which would include GA and removal of tissue, however, for people like me, (straight forward procedures) they were in the process of setting up the necessary tools to go ahead with procedures that were not necessary for full day in hospital. The ONLY other option was hormones, which he said would most likely fail based on how long ive held on to the tissue, and in all honesty i wanted it Gone! The consultant said he will give it a try if im ok to go ahead. So two attempts and it was out. They all said how well i had done considering.. it felt like bad period pain if i were to describe it. He said he didn't want to 'push it' as i only had local but that worked anyway.
I have also been under GA and i also wake up in a total panic needing air.. if i were you and GA is your only option then just ask for an oxygen mask to be ready for when you wake up.
Do you know if the hysteroscopy is necessary for you though? It does give the consultant the opportunity for a good look around, i.e Fallopian tubes etc.. but maybe an ultra sound, in your case, will suffice?.. (sorry not sure if you have been down that road already) I left the hospital after 20 minutes and a cup of tea. I had a bit of abdominal discomfort the next day but nothing that a paracetamol couldn't sort!

[1moregirl]

Wow! Thanks Squiggle. I really appreciate you being so informative. They don't really even know if I 'need' a Hysterescopy or not. I have had a couple of ultrasounds since that horrendous MC in 2015 and there was no retained products or anything. Did you have the HSG (that X-ray thing where they put a dye in)? I half wonder if I should have that first or not. If I could have the hysteroscopy done for free I would've had it done by now. With both those surgeries I mentioned where I woke up having trouble breathing I already had oxygen mask on. I just got told by doc that maybe I woke up in a bit of a panic and was hyperventilating. But I have hyperventilated plenty of times before in the past and it felt different to that. I just felt like every time I inhaled I wasn't getting the air in. It was terrifying! And my father has told my that his mother, my Grandmother, had an allergy to something in a GA they used to use (don't know if it's the same they still use) so who knows? I can still remember lying on a hospital bed in the surgical area awaiting surgery...I was on my own, terrified, crying and I could see a newborn in a crib as there must've been an emergency Caesarian just happened. Just what I wanted to see. A newborn baby...just to remind me of what I had just lost. And when I woke up from my procedure the same baby was being wheeled right past me with his/her mother. Maybe we do come to after surgery in a panic but we just don't consciously aware that we are in a state of panic? I don't know. I just know right now that even though I am 45, I really would like to be one of those lucky 45 yr old ladies that gets pregnant and has a healthy live born baby at the end of it all from one of her own eggs. I guess in way seeing a second Fs could be just wasting more time and money also if I get exactly the same opinion? It's just that this one is a woman FS so sometimes they can have a different perspective or are more sympathetic.

[squigglepink]

No, i didnt have the x-ray/dye. The US (i had about 4) picked up the retained tissue each time.. (I tried to let it go with a few cycles but it didn't) There are risks when you have a Hysteroscopy, albeit very very rare, so perhaps in your instance, exhaust all avenues before hysteroscopy (especially if it is going to cost you).

Have you had a fertility test before? Im sorry if you have already mentioned this somewhere. This may be something i do going forward to check my ovarian reserve, however i think it shows more about 'quantity' rather than 'quality'! Are you swaying at all? Im totally focused on my health now (after my horrendous miscarriage) so ive read up on how to heal and regenerate the reproductive system and what foods assist fertility. I'll share some insight if you are interested.

[1moregirl]

Squiggle...Thankyou soooo much. I am feeling particularly emotional and shattered this afternoon. I just found out my close pregnant friend had her baby last night. I was almost too afraid to look at the text message when I realised it was from her. She had her baby last night and it was a little boy...exactly what she was hoping for. Now she has 2 girls and 2 boys....which was my dream. It started off as my dream...I was desperate for another little girl. We had swayed for a little girl that last time and it made that horrendous miscarriage all the more difficult to endure. I'd always wondered if it ad been a little girl. Would she have had beautiful dimples like our one little girl? Devastating! So of course I have been in tears. They started as soon as I saw the photo of my dear friend with her dear little newborn baby boy in her arms. I didn't know I would react like this. I a, obviously happy and overjoyed for her, but inside me I have this pain or torn feeling that I cannot put into words. It reminds how much I wanted that. It feels like she stole my dream, which is ridiculous and selfish of me I know. I just desperately want one last baby and I don't know what to do to make it happen. Yes please Squiggle...please share anything with me you've learnt about increasing yuor fertility. I am in the process of checking my ovarian reserve. It was 6.5 in 2015 which was low. :( I'm going today to buy more ubiquinol to get started on again as well. Are you taking that?

[squigglepink]

It is noble and normal of you to want to expand your family. This website and its members are filled with people like you and i who have dreams and desires that we wish to fulfil. Some of us are against the clock so to speak and loosing a baby just makes it all the more emotional and complicated. It's a mixture of having to start all over again to gratitude for what we already have. I have not purchased ubiquinol yet, i should.
Times can get rough, but keep the faith xx im trying too :Flower:

[1moregirl]

Thanks Squiggle. I know and undderstand exactly what you are saying. Usually I'm really good and I cherish the 3 kids I am blessed to have had. I know how lucky I am and I do know people and of people who have struggled Like he'll just to conceive one baby. I'll keep trying and what will be will be I guess. Xx