Potential ruined sway - thoughts please

[remr]

I have been dieting since last October when my period finally came back after nursing our second son. However after two periods they stopped for a short while and I then got them sometimes every 11 weeks sometimes every 8 weeks. There was no logic and I could only put it down to my weight and diet. I began to find it hard being on the diet especially as I have two sons to feed and I used to eat with them. My husband was getting frustrated we could never eat together, food has always been something we both really enjoy. I am a big eater. In May I had family visit and it was hard to do the diet but I did the best I could but ended up putting on weight going from around 8st/8st3 (at my lowest I was 7st 9 this time but also this is when periods stopped. I then hovered around 7st 11). I was less strict on calories but still was not eating loads and it was all empty carbs, low protein and low nutritious food. I found it really difficult to loose this weight and have stayed somewhere between 8st and 8st 3, Sadly I then went to a relatives and all they served was meat for a week every evening and much later then I was normally having dinner. Once returning home we BD the day after (I thought I had ovulated but wasn’t taking test as knew it was not a month to try and my husband has said no to a third unless we had PGD, that was until he understood costs more and changed his mind. This was another reason my sway drifted, as I was conscious of this).

However I must have ovulated the day we BD or there about and hence now pregnant. I wanted to know if you have experienced people with BMI’s a little over 20 who have put on a little weight or stand constant who have had success in having a girl? I know there is no straightforward answer but I am just devastated right now and I hate feeling like this. I am struggling to interact with my two sons (the eldest is very very hard with lots of issues so I often feel distant form him anyway). I have for years now looked at those with girls and been so envious but as I know we cannot have any more I have just bursted in to tears all week. People say you get over it but I never have since DS2. I am a wreck and I cannot sleep at night. I feel so selfish for feeling like this.

Sorry for the long ramble which probably makes little sense but I just want to understand if others have had success is similar situations. If I had no meat in months would the week before have ruined it form that perspective? If you loose weight I am guessing there must be period of time before you body adjusts else we could all just loose weight for a few days and then trying to convince. Surely failed boy sways could be similar to what I have done?

I know deep down this a boy, all my symptoms are the same as my pervious two and more so due to my sway

[ksmom]

Sway or no sway, you always have a chance at a girl! One week is not going to undo months of dieting. If it could, we'd only change our diet for a brief time to get our DG. Symptoms being the same do not mean you for sure are having another boy. I have three boys and my pregnancies were different for all, especially with DS3. Try not to stress to much (I know it's hard not to) but what's done is done and baby's gender has already been decided. I hope this is your daughter and if not, I'm sure this baby will be just as loved.

[onelastsway]

If you have been on the diet that long, plus I'm guessing it was one attempt from what you said? And you were probably less obsessive about the sway if you thought it was a 'not trying' month - I think it sounds like a brilliant sway. There will never be a perfect month and if you'd stayed being too strict/too low a weight you wouldn't have got pregnant anyway. I expect you were doing LE better than you thought anyway - all the girl mums I know eat meat and all my veggie mum friends have boys so meat is not going to break your sway in my opinion, particularly not one week of it! If it were that simple, we'd all just do the diet for a week or so. What is meant to be will be, you could get a boy with a 'perfect' sway anyway - try to remember that. Sounds like you did a great sway and if you do end up with a boy, it will not be because you put on a few pounds or ate meat for a week xx

[atomic sagebrush]

If doing ANYTHING regarding diet for a week could matter, we would only do diet for a week. I suspect that the only reason you even ovulated right when you did was that you relaxed a bit on diet. Irregular cycles may indicate you're more pink-friendly anyway - not a guarantee of course but still we absolutely see women getting girls with irregular cycles like you're describing.

Weight gain has not been at ALL predictive of whose sway worked. We have had TONS of people who gain a little (or blue swayers who deliberately gained weight!) and got girls. Weight gain is NOTHING, I have people gain a bit of weight all the time to help with their ovulation.

Symptoms do not predict gender. It is impossible at this stage of conception because boy babies are not even making testosterone until much later along. My pregnancy with my daughter was identical to that with my 2nd son! And my other three boys were all very different from each other and from the other two as well.

Please, please just be kind to yourself, for all you know this could be a girl. And even if it is not, many of us have found that our sway opposite babies are very easy - maybe something to do with diet, maybe just good fortune - and that they cure GD in their own special way. :heart:

[remr]

Thank you so much for your lovely comments. I feel the most horrid person in the world and my two boys probably deserve so much better, someone who doesn't feel like I do. My husband has said I have talked about having a girl and dieting for over three years now and he doesn't want to hear any more. I can't help but cry and spend all my time out looking at the girls around us. It is awful.

I have no symptoms this time just like i didn't we my previous too (i know me may say I am lucky), this one was most likely conceived at ovulation just like my other two and I am the same weight as I was when conciveing my two sons as I was this time, if not I am now slightly more. All the things I read on this amwahing site says I should have been at my lowest weight (or at least people are lighter then when they have there sons to have a girl) and they conceive in different circumstance. Every seems the same for me. Furthermore all the success sways I have read were around weight loss.

I am so upset as I know I needed to be my lightest I could and I am far from that. I messed up last sway but loosing too much to fast and I think thats what happened this time two and hence I could probably conceive when lighter but I had to put on way more to ovulate again. I really did run both tries. I now feel big and putting on so much weight as I am eating for comfort. I am in denial I am pregnant and this is really happening in someways. I really need to get over my years of pain but I am not sure how this will happen and everyone around me has girls. Thank you for listening, I have no one who really understands.

[onelastsway]

You are not a bad person. We all have feelings like this at times or we wouldn't be swaying so hard, would we? I am trying for third baby (which will definitely be my last), I also have 2 boys and my eldest also has additional needs and is very difficult and my two together just fight all the time. We often say, 'if we had girls, they would be so much easier' but then they wouldn't necessarily be all the wonderful things that our two boys are. Try to realise that gender is just gender, your third baby will be uniquely wonderful whether they are a boy or girl. And you still have a great chance at girl anyway. The longer I go not getting pregnant, the more I realise that boy or girl would be amazing but of course i will panic if i ever get pregnant and think 'oh no I had that cheat right around ovulation' or I didn't do enough but it really sounds like you did a great job so please try not to be so hard on yourself. You might get a boy who loves 'girlie' things or a girl that's a total tomboy, a boy that's your best friend or a girl that can't stand the sight of you!!! My boys have just walked in having dressed up their teddies with doll's clothes and playing 'babies' with them in a great example of how silly gender stereotypes are! What I'm trying to say is try to see your new baby as an individual rather than as a gender. We've decided on a cool name if we were to have another boy (if I EVER get pregnant) and i think it has helped me realise he will be his own person and not 'just another boy.' Hugs, you will feel more positive soon xxx

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, I can assure you completely after having talked to 10,000 people if not more panicking about symptoms (either being the same, or different LOL) that there is NOTHING to the symptoms, it has absolutely nothing to do with the baby's gender you are carrying, full stop.

I made UP the "be at your lowest weight" idea simply to shut people up when they'd message me giving their weight and asking me to tell them specifically how much to lose! It was a shortcut for me to stop incessant messages on the subject and has absolutely no scientific backing whatsoever. People like to have firm numbers to reach for and that seemed like a good number to agree upon. That is God's Honest Truth right there. Not one single SCRAP of evidence or data points or anything, it was for my own personal convenience and in the subsequent 5+ years I have not seen anything that backs up that idea as a necessity in any way, with blue swayers gaining and getting girls, and pink swayers losing and getting boys. I do think it's good to lose a bit for pink but the "lowest weight" idea was never proven in any way as anything other than a theoretical goal to aim at.

[honeybee37]

I had a similar story up to a point. I lost way too much weight and stopped having fertile cycles. I relaxed a lot and did put on a bit of weight over Christmas etc and fell pregnant in March. We had DtD every other day so I was sure I would be having a boy. I was pregnant with a girl although tragically I lost her at almost 20 weeks due to a clotting disorder I did not know I had. The end of my story does not relate to yours but I wanted to tell you that the relaxed approach seems to work for a lot of women on here. Plus your one attempt and irregular cycles is dfibitely very pink. My cycles were all over the place when I conceived and I ovulated five days later than I thought either my baby girl. ��

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh NO honeybee I am only just now reading this...my heart is breaking for you. Please let me know how I can help in any way. :heart: