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View Full Version : Venting and a bit discouraged.



Praying4agirl
August 11th, 2017, 11:11 PM
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nearlyalegume
August 12th, 2017, 01:26 AM
Nobody 'knows'. Whatever their reasons for saying it (do they even realize they're being cruel?), they have no way of knowing the future, any more than anyone else does. They'll be eating their words if you do have a girl, and there's a good chance of it, especially as you're only just TTC #2 and don't have a 'pattern' like some of us on here seem to. And miracles do happen, even for established 'boy' or 'girl' mothers (case in point - my sig!).

Try not to overthink it. They don't know what the future holds. You have as much chance of a little girl next time as another boy <3

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EnglishDame
August 12th, 2017, 06:30 AM
My family say exactly the same thing to me, I have one son and my family all say I'm a boy mother and I won't have a girl. I like you can't imagine having a girl either so it does make me feel like it's all for nothing but it's definitely not! There's a girl on here with 6 boys and she's now having a girl!

luv4pink
August 12th, 2017, 08:43 AM
Everyone says the same to me. I have 2 boys which I love to bits, but obviously would love a girl to complete our family. I haven't told anyone about my swaying pink but I get a lot of 'you'll end up with 3 boys you know'. It can be very cruel & hurtful, like boys are the worst thing to have, especially 3 or more! I know I'll be disappointed to have another boy (part of me also feels like it's my destiny to have 3 boys also) but I also know I'll get over it & love him with everything I am. Good luck & sending pink dust your way :)


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Praying4agirl
August 12th, 2017, 09:13 AM
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4blue2pink
August 12th, 2017, 09:16 AM
i was told by a doctor i probably couldn't successfully carry girls after our 2nd baby (first girl) died mid pregnancy.. i then spent 4 years completely convinced this was true, then had 2 healthy girls one after the other so clearly the dr was wrong, ignore anyone who tells you you wont have a boy/girl its such a stupid comment to make!!

good luck with your sway i hope you get your girl :)

Praying4agirl
August 12th, 2017, 11:09 AM
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4blue2pink
August 12th, 2017, 11:59 AM
i should add i had my 2 living girls after 4 boys, you only have 1 child people should not be making these comments, there are so many women on here with 4,5,6+ boys who go on to have a girl/s :) having 1 boy by no means makes you a "boy mum"

Pinkmama
August 12th, 2017, 12:14 PM
I got this comment from a male friend who has a daughter and he is thrilled she es female, as is his wife. I only have a son an he insists he only sees me with boys, I hate that comment. And he always says how he would *adore* to have all girl. Meaning I only get "second class" boys. Ugh, hate him. We don't hung around with that couple anymore.


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Praying4agirl
August 12th, 2017, 03:11 PM
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XXforhubby
August 12th, 2017, 04:33 PM
Well I always envisioned myself to have all boys. Partly because I never had a great relationship with my mother and partly because I was a tomboy growing up and still into "boy" things.

It wasn't until I became a mother that I realized gender has nothing to do with the way you parent your children (at least it shouldn't anyway!), and I always assumed we would have a mixed gendered family.

People always assumed I would only have boys, and they were right until now! Don't let people's comments affect you- people say dumb things all the time without thinking how what they say can be perceived by others. You totally have a chance at having a girl!

🤞🏻[emoji175]!!


[emoji170]8/2010 [emoji170]6/2013 [emoji170]11/2015 [emoji170]
[emoji178]Baby Girl [emoji254]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji178]

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atomic sagebrush
August 13th, 2017, 06:53 PM
People told me that all the time. Trust me, after 4 boys over 20+ years, people saying that can cut like a knife but EVERY woman can have a girl! Even this woman had a girl The Arndt Family (http://famteam.com/meet-the-family/)

I know people I have met online who have had boys after 8 girls and girls after 8 boys. My own great-grandma had 2 boys after having 6 girls in a row and my husband's grandma had a girl after 5 boys! You have only one little boy, you can completely and totally have girls, I promise! :)

atomic sagebrush
August 13th, 2017, 07:03 PM
Thanks y'all. Good to know I'm not alone. This has helped lift my spirits. I don't think they are trying to be hurtful but they do know how badly I want a daughter so it can be hurtful to me. I guess when they say that it puts me in a bit of a panic mode especially since my mom was right about the gender of my son as well as the gender of my sisters son. But I know I have a shot at a girl and even if i have a son what's meant to be will be. Thanks again ladies!


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:agree: I think there's a chunk of people who really think they're doing us a favor, like we won't get our hopes up if they say that, as if they are helping somehow by saying that. They don't mean to hurt our feelings but in their minds, it's better now than after we get pregnant and get our hopes sky high. There are the occasional few who really are out to hurt but most people are just innocent nitwits.

atomic sagebrush
August 13th, 2017, 07:05 PM
i was told by a doctor i probably couldn't successfully carry girls after our 2nd baby (first girl) died mid pregnancy.. i then spent 4 years completely convinced this was true, then had 2 healthy girls one after the other so clearly the dr was wrong, ignore anyone who tells you you wont have a boy/girl its such a stupid comment to make!!

good luck with your sway i hope you get your girl :)

:agree: there are quite a few doctors and nurses who still say things like this and they are all so very full of you-know-what that they all deserve to have their medical licences revoked. :/

4blue2pink
August 14th, 2017, 09:17 AM
:agree: there are quite a few doctors and nurses who still say things like this and they are all so very full of you-know-what that they all deserve to have their medical licences revoked. :/

YES!! i should add the doctor who said this to me was the Consultant who was overseeing our whole "case" including post-mortem results etc, her postmortem was normal and all my tests came back clear/normal, i think he said it to me as some kind of answer as to why she died, seen as all the tests showed up with no medical reasons for it and we already had a healthy son so clearly it had to be her gender..
it did a huge amount of damage because i couldnt get it out of my head and thought it was my fault for my body rejecting and killing a perfectly healthy baby girl who would have been carried to term alive by anyone else, even when i had my girl on #5 i was completely convinced she would die before she was born, i dont think these professionals understand the damage they can do when they say these things..

Praying4agirl
August 14th, 2017, 09:25 AM
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Throwaway_panther
August 14th, 2017, 11:26 AM
People said this to me when I was pregnant with a girl and they didn't know it was a girl ;)

Of course, I desperately wanted a boy, so it hurt that they all thought I was getting one when I knew I was having a girl, but people pegged me as whatever.

Girlthing
August 14th, 2017, 11:46 PM
People have said this to me all my life! I've always just sort of shrugged​ it off as people say all sorts of insensitive and silly things in the name of conversation and it really doesn't matter what they think. I know it isn't that easy for everyone not to take such hurtful comments to heart though.

Having read loads of the info on this site now, I have a theory that people maybe tend to say this to more 'alpha' type, strong women so it's almost a backhanded compliment about how they see you but really they have no idea what they are talking about... opinions are like a#Ģeholes, everyone has got one!

I do now have 2 wonderful boys and will either be going HT or swaying for a girl in the next 12-18 months. Who knows if I'm 'destined' to only have boys or not, but I'll give it my best shot anyway! Fingers crossed for you too!

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Praying4agirl
August 15th, 2017, 09:22 AM
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atomic sagebrush
August 15th, 2017, 03:22 PM
That's funny you say that bc I am very much an alpha/ leader type personality. So I can easily see how my personality could come across that way. That's interesting. I hope we both go on to have little girls.


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Lots of women in leadership positions have all/mostly or at least SOME daughters - Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, The Queen Mum, Queen Elizabeth 2 herself, Nancy Pelosi (she has 4 daughters and one son), Margaret Thatcher had BG twins, Elizabeth Warren has a son and daughter...we could make examples all day!

atomic sagebrush
August 15th, 2017, 03:25 PM
YES!! i should add the doctor who said this to me was the Consultant who was overseeing our whole "case" including post-mortem results etc, her postmortem was normal and all my tests came back clear/normal, i think he said it to me as some kind of answer as to why she died, seen as all the tests showed up with no medical reasons for it and we already had a healthy son so clearly it had to be her gender..
it did a huge amount of damage because i couldnt get it out of my head and thought it was my fault for my body rejecting and killing a perfectly healthy baby girl who would have been carried to term alive by anyone else, even when i had my girl on #5 i was completely convinced she would die before she was born, i dont think these professionals understand the damage they can do when they say these things..

Awful, just awful, I am so so very sorry. I also think they say things sometimes (perhaps not in this case but I've seen it often enough in other scenarios) where they feel somehow to blame for what went wrong, or that they could possibly BE blamed, and say that as some sort of protection for themselves. For example, a woman who had just been into the doc's office for an appointment, and they missed something - an infection, a low heart rate, etc - and they say it then sometimes - which is utterly brutal and completely out of order.

Girlthing
August 15th, 2017, 08:22 PM
Lots of women in leadership positions have all/mostly or at least SOME daughters - Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, The Queen Mum, Queen Elizabeth 2 herself, Nancy Pelosi (she has 4 daughters and one son), Margaret Thatcher had BG twins, Elizabeth Warren has a son and daughter...we could make examples all day!I completely agree Atomic, that's why it's a silly thing to say! Haha [emoji3]!

Just in my entirely non-scientific, non-validated experience, people do often seem to say it to more 'dominant' women, maybe just as we/they aren't



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Girlthing
August 15th, 2017, 08:24 PM
I completely agree Atomic, that's why it's a silly thing to say! Haha [emoji3]!

Just in my entirely non-scientific, non-validated experience, people do often seem to say it to more 'dominant' women, maybe just as we/they aren't



Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk... didn't finish! Just as we/they aren't so soft and girly ourselves.

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