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Daisycarty
September 15th, 2017, 08:48 AM
Hi Everyone,

I have been silently reading this site for some time now. I am 33 and ttc my 3rd and final baby and would like to sway for a girl after my 2 ds who are 4 and 6. I had a mc at 20 weeks last year and haven't felt ready to try until now. I had serious GD with DS2 and although he is the absolute light of my life now, I really want to increase my chances of pink tutus this time around.

I'm afraid however I have utterly confused myself by reading too much. My current situation is I'm on CD5 and near the end of my af, I have a 26 day cycle and have a regular O on CD12, so I had plans of FB from the end of af until CD9 giving myself a 3 day cut off.

DH has been abstaining for 10 days so far but I have just read that abstaining isn't ideal for him as he is 40. I have been dieting, chinese calendar is predicting a girl and I was all lined up to start dtd as of tomorrow potentially with FB until +OPK and now think I have completely screwed up my sway and have no idea what direction I should go in.

I feel pretty deflated after finally plucking up the courage to go again, sigh, help please ladies, is there anyway out of this mess so I don't miss this month?

atomic sagebrush
September 18th, 2017, 01:19 PM
Hi Daisy, I'm sorry I missed this the first time through.

Yes, I don't have men over 35 do abstain. But it's a distant risk, I just figure, well, since this is a possibility, while farfetched, and since abstain hasn't worked as a sway tactic anyway, why would we take the risk for something that doesn't work?? It's not like a guarantee of birth defects if you use abstain over 35, not at all, it's still a very, very longshot that anything bad would happen, but I see no point in taking the risk since it does not help.

I cannot recommend having several attempts to a cutoff. (this wouldn't be abstain anyway??) I have the reasons why laid out in this thread (not the first post, a few from the top) https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/58359-what-up-bd-thru-o-pink-lately.html

The most important thing you can do here and now is have ONE and only one attempt. For reasons we can only guess at, one attempt was very effective for us as a pink sway. So it's fine to still try this month, but just don't do the frequent BD, have one and only one. And if you have already started with the BD, it's still ok, just stop and wait till positive OPK or your cutoff if you prefer and have one attempt then. The sperm from the early attempts would be dead by the time the egg shows up.

Daisycarty
September 19th, 2017, 05:58 AM
Thank you so much for replying, I've read that frequent bedding doesn't work for a girl sway but I guess I'm having trouble shrugging off shettles which I know has been disproven. I conceived both my Boys in my high fertile window. Since my post my and DH have only dtd on cd 6 and cd8 which was last night so I'm not due to o for another 4 days, well 3 days of you don't count today.

So should we now leave it and just do the one go on +o day or should we scrap the month and try next month for one go on +o day?

atomic sagebrush
September 19th, 2017, 03:01 PM
I understand that you conceived your boys in your high fertile window but that is because that is the only time anyone can get pregnant!!!! ALL babies are conceived in your high fertile window!! :)

I cannot ever recommend standing only with attempt CD8 because there is practically zippo chance of conceiving - even if you ovulate early there will be very little or nothing left. I'd have attempt at pos OPK if you can stand it and if you can't stand it (totally your call to make!) then have attempt 3 days before you expect to O.