View Full Version : Babies 2 Years Apart

September 20th, 2017, 12:17 PM
Do any mamas have babies two years exactly (or close to it) apart? We had my son in May of 2016 and now, surprise!, we're pregnant again with an EDD two days after DS's 2nd birthday. I knew we'd have another one, but this is really making me feel overwhelmed. To the point that I'm not even enjoying this pregnancy. It makes me want to cry when I think about how hard it will be on my son when this new baby comes. He's definitely a mama's boy and even now, if I'm giving the dog attention he starts to get jealous and pushes the dog away. I know 9 months from now he'll be a completely different kid, and he's so sensitive and kind that I'm sure he'll love a baby, I'm just more concerned about the time I won't have for him now and that makes me so sad and so guilty that I feel like neither of us was ready for this new baby (besides my husband, he's very happy and excited and supportive).

So, any tips, tricks or just stories to help ease my mind?

September 20th, 2017, 02:23 PM
mine have age gaps ranging from 13 months up to 17 months, not quite 2 years but we fall into the "had them close in age" group! i do understand that if you were planning a larger gap this could feel like a potential nightmare but it really isnt :) your little boy will have a playmate so close in age that they can really grow up together, going through similar stages at the same time and probably sharing interests etc

i dont know if you are planning more kids, but if not you will be able to get through stages basically in one go, for example they will most probably toilet train quite close together so *bam* your done with nappies :D just as an example with our age gaps im toilet training a child once a year at the moment, as they hit that stage one after the other and its the same with most other things too.

the worst jealousy i have ever seen towards a newborn was from siblings who were 3-3 1/2 when baby arrived (my oldest niece being one of the worst offenders!!) while your little boy wont understand to be gentle with baby and most probably will grab, lean on or even pat (which for toddlers is more like a smack in an affectionate way) the baby he wont really remember his life before baby arrived and hopefully wont be too jealous or put out by him/her, its more that they want to interact with baby but just dont quite have the self control to be gentle yet :) and baby in their eyes is rather boring at first, i always find once baby becomes more interactive and can sit up, crawl, laugh and play a bit my 1 and 2 year olds suddenly become wayyy more into baby :) because now baby is fun!!

a lot of people think i am crazy for having my kids so close but i wouldnt change it for the world, my oldest 2 are now 7 and almost 6 (17 month age gap) and they get on really really well, yeah they argue but they are like each others best friends :) my next 2 down are 4 and 3 and they are hilarious together a real little double act, we get comments all the time from school and nursery about how close our kids are with one another, they apparently seek each other out at playtimes and will always shout hi to each other if they pass in hallways round the school etc. even my 2 year old has now taken to saying that her 11 month old sister is her friend while putting her arm around her :) those 2 are so young but im just starting to see the bond between them forming as my 2 year old can talk more and my 11 month old becomes more interactive etc, they chase each other around with one running and one crawling haha

Congratulations on baby number 2 and trust me you have SO much to look forward too with your little pair :D they will drive you mad dont get me wrong but it'll also be tons of fun, they might even get the same birthday!! 2 of mine share a birthday 5 years apart :heart: and funnily enough my dh shares his birthday with his sister and its a 2 year age gap :) either way it'll be a big super exciting birthday build up every May in your house which they will both share in together :) like a second christmas xx

September 20th, 2017, 03:52 PM
My two oldest boys are 21 months apart. We planned to have them close in age but didn't expect to get pregnant so quickly since it took awhile with our first. I had SO much anxiety while pregnant, worrying about having essentially two babies to care for. I'll admit it was hard when DS2 was born because DS1 was still very much a baby in that he couldn't do much for himself. He had to grow up a lot and honestly I felt guilty like I took away his babyhood. I spent so much time in the throes of morning sickness that I didn't spend much time with him. Once DS2 was born, things got a little better but it was challenging learning how to divide my time. It definitely wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be though. To give him more attention, I had DS1 help me with the baby, like getting a diaper or toy. He mostly ignored his baby brother though. lol I really didn't notice any jealousy mainly because I think being so young, DS1 really couldn't remember a time when his brother wasn't around. I've actually found there's more jealousy coming from DS2 after DS3 was born because he was the baby for three years and didn't like that changing.
My boys are now 5 and 3.5 which is a great age. They play together all the time and are best buds. Looking back I'm so glad I had two so close in age despite the craziness at the time. DS1 has a built in playmate for life and I love seeing them bonding. They do drive each other nuts sometimes but don't all siblings? There's a 3 year gap between DS2 and DS3 which is easier in terms of juggling it all but time will tell if they'll be as close as my oldest boys are.

September 20th, 2017, 05:24 PM
It's good to hear your perspective ksmom. I too worry about having my last 2 at 22mo apart. My oldest 2 are best of friends at almost 3 years apart. There is a tad bit of frustration when my DS2 tries to keep up with my DS1, but there is also frustration when my DS2 excels at sports or figuring out something complex, haha! They are also super close with my DS3 (he is 5yrs younger than my DS1 and 2.5yrs younger than my DS2) and include him in when they play most things. I'm glad that my DS3 will have a sibling close in age. I wonder how it will work with her being a girl, but I'm sure it will make them both well rounded individuals. We are all just so excited to meet her! I know that despite the 7 year difference between my DS1 and my DD that they will be close. My DS1 had the best reaction when we announced the gender! He immediately started crying happy tears and asked if we were serious and not joking. When we told him it was true, he gave me the biggest hug and said he always wanted a sister [emoji4]❤️!

TaytumJ, I hope that in time that their bond will ease your worry! It may hang around for a while, but I'm sure you will see that it has worked out how it was supposed to!

[emoji170]8/2010 [emoji170]6/2013 [emoji170]11/2015 [emoji170]
[emoji178]Baby Girl [emoji254]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji178]

https://lmtm.lilypie.com/kIlmm5.png (https://lilypie.com)

atomic sagebrush
September 21st, 2017, 04:57 PM
Yes, my 3rd and 4th are 21 months apart. Both in diapers!! I'm not gonna lie it was hard that first month or so (but please understand my husband is completely unhelpful to the extreme and does next to nothing so I did it virtually all on my own) and there were a few times where they were both sick with pukers or nervewrackingly bad colds and I would not relive those nights if you paid me 10k LOL.

BUT. I will say that once those early days passed, I have found it a vastly superior gap to my 1st and 2nd, who were 3 1/2 years apart. They are inseparable and unlike my older two, they actually play together. They keep each other entertained and were much less work starting, oh, I'd say even as soon as the baby was 6 months old. They were always more in the same ballpark in terms of development and needs and maturity so instead of running around after my older one doing all the older kid stuff and then having to totally switch gears to do the little kid stuff too, I can do just like, one set of stuff for both of them (not sure if that makes any sense...but older kids are always going to airsoft war parties and water slides and football games and then little kids are all about the McDonald playland and going to the park so it was nice to just do the playland instead of having to cram it all in, if that makes sense.) They watch the same shows so they never fight over the TV, play the same video games together, and the clothes from one kid just go straight into the other's drawer, instead of storage for 3 years first. It was just simpler having them close together in any number of ways and I really have preferred it greatly.

We always have mommy guilt though!! There's no getting around that. I had horrible guilt when my oldest was 3 1/2 and I had my second. And he actually had the worst sibling rivalry of any of them, I think because he'd had so long to get used to the "I'm the Prince" kind of mentality.

So, long story short, while it isn't always easy and you will have those sad moments where you think you're spread too thin, in my experience it was a very positive experience for the boys and for me as well to have the closer age gap. :)

I Love Ladybugs
September 21st, 2017, 09:56 PM
Our DS1 and DS2 are almost 23 months to the day and I would not have it any other way!!! They are the best of pals, the worst of enemies.....and just amazing brothers!!!!!! I did have a moment when I was @3 months preggo and DS1 was already in the terrible 2's stage about "what I have done"...and our first year with a DS2 with feeding/weight gain/size issues was a challenge....but all in all....I love the gap!!!

DS2 and DD1 are 3.75 years apart...and boy do they bicker ;)

September 22nd, 2017, 12:02 AM
My stepkids are 22.5 months apart and cannot stand each other- to the point they will physically harm the other.
They are 10 and 8 years older than my daughter and both get along with her so far.

I am 17 months older than my brother and we detest each other and always have. He is 7 years older than our sister (so I'm almost 9 years older) and they do not get along, and she and I do. Next (a boy) is 14 years younger than me, 12 younger than brother and 6.5 younger than sister. Us older two get along with him but sister does not.
Youngest is nearly 19 years younger than me (17 brother, 10 sister and 4 brother) and we all get along with her.

Age means nothing. It's all personality.

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September 26th, 2017, 10:55 AM
Thanks everyone for your replies and encouragement that we'll all survive this lol. Even if it barely feels like we're keeping our head above water the first few years. Maybe it's just the early pregnancy hormones and the constant all day nausea that's really bringing me down (oh, and the fact that we are living with my MIL while our house is being built AND that my son is now refusing to sleep in his crib). Hopefully as the holidays come closer and we're able to celebrate and get settled into our new house that we'll make our home with our family it will get easier and I'll be able to see the light.

atomic sagebrush
September 26th, 2017, 01:52 PM
You have a lot on your plate right now Taytum - no wonder it feels overwhelming. But it does get better over time. :heart: