2 Gorgeous Boys & just TTC a Girl - Do you think we have a chance?

[StephieLC]

Hi everyone,

I'm a Mum to two amazing little boys (4 & 2 years old) and we've recently decided to bite the bullet and try for a 3rd baby. With both boys, I fell pregnant very quickly and only DTD (do the deed) once or twice due to my husband working away on rotation at the time. Probably very close to ovulation.

I would really love for the boys to have a sister so I read up on some natural sway theories. Here's what I ended up doing: This month I took calcium, folic acid and cranberry supplements. We DTD (do the deed) every day up to a 1.5 possibly 2.5 day cut off... Apologies for TMI (too much information) but I think I ovulated on Day 15 as CM on Day 16 went to sticky and then cloudy, which I think signals that ovulation has occurred? We last DTD (do the deed) on Day 13 night.

My cycle mostly varies between 27 and 28 days (though a couple months ago stretched all the way to 30!! Was sure I was pregnant, but false alarm) making it really hard to do the Shettles Method, which I know is widely disputed anyway.

Does this sound similar to anyone else's attempt at TTC (trying to conceive) a girl? Did you have any luck?

Please note I'll be thrilled to have another boy and have a name picked out for him already, we really do just want a 3rd child. I guess it's just natural to hope for a girl if you have a good relationship with your own mother and hope to have the same with a daughter of your own.

Thank you for reading xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Stephie.

I really really cannot recommend having sex several times in a row up to a cutoff. Not only does cutoff timing not even work for swaying, but we have found that having more than one attempt sways blue for reasons we can only guess at. We have gotten between 70-75% success with one attempt so in future months I would stop that frequent BD.

Cranberry has not been effective for us at all and the risks and side effects turned out to be so great that I can't in good conscience recommend it. Many of us on here, myself included, got boys while taking calcium and gave it up to get girls, so while I leave that up to you, I do want to stress that it's important to take just calcium without Vit. D as the Vitamin D may sway blue, and NOT do the massive amount of dairy that some sites recommend since dairy does have lots of other nutrients in it that may sway blue.

Let me know how I can help!! Trust me, we all understand what that feeling is like to want a mother-daughter relationship with a daughter of our own.

[StephieLC]

Hello :)

Thank you so much for the reply! I really appreciate it. So I got my time of the month today, however, after reading your advice I'm glad I have a few new things to learn and try differently this next attempt.

I've just ordered some OPK tests to help me have a better understanding of when I actually ovulate as last month my CM was a bit confusing... I've tracked my cycle for the last 5 months and unfortunately it's not helpful at all: 28, 27, 30, 28, 30.

Can you recommened what we should aim for with DTD and how to use OPK best? So far this month I know to up the calcium (no vit d) and ditch the cranberry!

Thank you xx

[StephieLC]

Oh hold on - just re-read your comment. So I should also ditch the calcium? Happy to do that! I'll also watch my coffee this month as I do love a couple of cups in the day.

[XXforhubby]

Hi and Welcome! Atomic will weigh in, but in the meantime, I’ll provide you with some help!

No to Calcium- it has been shown to sway blue. Coffee is fine so drink how many you want provided it’s not loaded with cream, milk, and sugar. A Little is fine if you can’t drink it black but not gobs!

BDing pattern is one attempt at your first positive opk. Which ones did you order? Since your cycles are 27-30 days, I would start using opks from CD8-9. Its best to use urine from 10am-2pm with a 2-3 hour hold of fluids. Some people also test in the evening, but this time frame worked for me. Double check with the instructions that come with your opks that they don’t need to be used with FMU (first morning urine). Most can be used at any time of the day. Once you get a positive, the test line is as dark or darker than the control line, then have your attempt. You may want to continue to BD every 4 days thereafter in case your ovulation is delayed. If you want to do this, continue until you get to CD21-22 and then stop.

🤞🏻for you!!


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[EnglishDame]

Calcium is a bit of an old school method and on this site it's not as widely used.

Coffee is an excellent sway tactic so keep that up! Just be aware of what you put in it, if you just have it with a dash of milk that's great. If you have sugar in it you would be better to have that with a meal as snacking (i.e. Raising your blood sugar levels often in between meals) is not recommended.

[StephieLC]

Thanks so much for your replies! Great about coffee too (especially as I have 2 little ones already!!)

I picked up the Clearblue Ovulation Kits that give you the smiley faces - I thought the simpler the better.

I've just been reading up on the Girl Diet - know I'm late to start it but figured I'll throw that in now too. I'm quite a small size naturally, so don't need to worry about losing weight, but I could def do with lowering my blood sugar as I'm prone to snacking throughout the day etc.

So BD/ DTD - I'm still a bit confused about what would be the best pattern sway wise? For example should we BD every 2 - 4 days (using a condom) and then one attempt when I get a solid smiley face on the OPK? Or should husband and I abstain entirley, is it 7 days, before positive OPK? We're early 30's and I'd say my DH has a strong sperm count etc. as we got pregnant very quickly with our boys. Basically, what would be 'ideal' BD wise this month :pinksperm: (taking all the romance out of it I know haha - lucky I have an understanding husband here!)

Keeping fingers crossed for this month - feel a lot more prepared than before! This is an amazing site, thank you for the support. If there's any other links that might be useful in regards to diet please do let me know :)

[StephieLC]

P.S Here's a rough girl diet menu I've made - does it look ok? I've turned to Deliciously Ella's vegan recipes for dinner inspiration to add a bit more flavour.

Breakfast

Coffee or Tea 



Lunch

hummus/cucumber wraps
salad and pitta with hummus
Salad with roasted sweet potato, topped with fresh baby spinach & goat cheese, with balsamic vinegar drizzled on top.

Corn tortilla with dairylea light spread, lettuce, cucumber and a couple of cherry tomatoes



Snacks

Unsalted rice cakes with sugar free jam/apple

Peppermint Tea with ricecake & unsalted butter & sprinkling of cinammon
Rice Dream


Dinner 


Veg Rice


Fajitas (tiny bit of chicken, no guacamole)
Deliciously Ella Vegan Thai Curry - https://deliciouslyella.com/2017/09/25/vegan-thai-green-curry/

Roasted
Veg & Chickpea Stew - https://deliciouslyella.com/2017/10/06/roast-veg-chickpea-stew/
Mushroom & Herb Pasta - https://deliciouslyella.com/2017/08/29/creamy-mushroom-herb-pasta/
Creamy Spinach Pasta - https://deliciouslyella.com/2017/06/26/creamy-pea-spinach-pasta-10-minute-meal/
Tomato & Mushroom Pasta - https://deliciouslyella.com/2015/11/07/simple-tomato-and-mushroom-pasta/

[atomic sagebrush]

That's how tracking cycles goes. It's not just you, it's everyone. Keep that in mind when u read about all the people who say "timing totaly worked for me" because they have no idea when they ovulated and how long their cycle may have been that month. :)

Most of us go for one attempt at positive OPK but it's fine if you want to try at a cutoff, just don't DTD a bunch of times.

The calcium is up to you. It was easy for me to give up on it after I got boys doing that (and I did get my girl) but some people want to continue. Your call. Just avoid the vit. D and the big dairy intake.

We are getting great results with coffee for a sway tactic so please don't give that up for a sway!!!

[StephieLC]

Thank you again for getting back to me! So, just to clarify about how abstaining works, is it not to DTD at all in the lead up to ovulation that helps better the odds? Or is it OK to still DTD every 3-4 days (using protection) and then one attempt at positive OPK :ttcgirl:

I got my DS2 by a one off attempt close to ovulation, which is why I guess I'm a bit hung up on whether we need to be doing it more frequently to lower DH's sperm count a bit. Know it's probably silly, but hard to shake it out my head. Then again, I'm pretty sure there was a bit more frequent BD with DS1 so... really one of them should have been a girl haha.

Also, am I ok to have peppermint tea and green tea with lemon in the evenings? Or does even tea affect blood sugar? I'm late to the diet, so don't know if it'll even be effective, but feel like it's probs still worth doing anyway?

[atomic sagebrush]

Re abstain: Yes, for 7-10 days prior.

While you can DTD every 3 or 4 days with protection and then have only one attempt, it's not classified as abstain.

EVERYONE gets pregnant "close to ovulation". It's because you can only get pregnant within about 3 days of O (while a few pregnancies happen 4 days before O it's much more likely that it was 1-2 days before O or very early on O Day) So a lot of people will look back and think "well I BD practically at ovulation" but that's just when babies happen!!

Neither abstain nor FR has really worked well for us. One attempt has, and even if it didn't work for you the last time or two it's always best to do what has worked for most people most of the time.

Green tea may sway blue so I'd skip that. Peppermint tea may sway pink, but it hasn't gotten stellar results and has really messed up people's cycles but 1 cup a day usually doesn't do that.

[StephieLC]

Of course - I think it's the not lowering the sperm count I've been anxious about with regards to abstaining, as I keep worrying it'll make those boy sperm even stronger to abstain for that long haha. But obviously not true!!

Ahh thank you for letting me know about the green tea. It's now axed! I'll also stick with one cup of peppermint in the evening.

Plan is now to go with abstain 7-10 days and one attempt. Should DH have a hot bath before do you think?

[Forestrain]

Hi!

I have 2 DS also and I'll be TTC a girl next year. Love your diet, I'm a vegan so I'll be sure to take some of these links too! Deliciously Ella is fab. Sending love and all the best for your sway! 😻

[Boyboy]

I got my DS2 by a one off attempt close to ovulation, which is why I guess I'm a bit hung up on whether we need to be doing it more frequently to lower DH's sperm count a bit. Know it's probably silly, but hard to shake it out my head. Then again, I'm pretty sure there was a bit more frequent BD with DS1 so... really one of them should have been a girl haha.



Wow, I could have wrote this! I'm still searching for the ultimate sway tactic on this point as well...

[StephieLC]

Ooh good luck Forestrain with your sway too :) I'm finding the diet ok so far - especially with Deliciously Ella dinners, they're always yum. Hardest part is not snacking in between meals!!

Boyboy - it's hard isn't it to shake that sway worry. Especially if you've inadvertently done abstain/one attempt before and ended up with a blue bundle. I'm thinking the hot bath before is probs a good call! I'm late to the diet, but I'm keeping fingers crossed that will also help. With DS2 it was Christmas time and I was eating all the food haha.

[atomic sagebrush]

Of course - I think it's the not lowering the sperm count I've been anxious about with regards to abstaining, as I keep worrying it'll make those boy sperm even stronger to abstain for that long haha. But obviously not true!!

Ahh thank you for letting me know about the green tea. It's now axed! I'll also stick with one cup of peppermint in the evening.

Plan is now to go with abstain 7-10 days and one attempt. Should DH have a hot bath before do you think?

Nope, not true at all. Sperm live about the same amount of time.

[atomic sagebrush]

Wow, I could have wrote this! I'm still searching for the ultimate sway tactic on this point as well...

There is no ultimate sway tactic. I'll save you the effort. :)

Just not the way that it works.

[StephieLC]

Hi Atomic - thanks so much for your help! Just one last question as I noticed on another thread you said abstain might not be the best conception wise even if it does sway a tiny amount. But, like you said, we'll still give it a go with one attempt this cycle to have at least tried it :)

But say it fails, what is your recommendation for the next cycle BD wise (it would give me longer on the diet too). Obviously stick with one attempt, but would you recommend to BD a bit more often protected? For example, would it be every 4 days then one attempt? Is that still girl terrirotry.

Fingers crossed for pink dust this cycle though :baby2:

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes I'd go to every 4 days. You can do this two ways, either have your husband release every 2-4 days and then keep the one attempt, or else actually DTD every 4 days, unprotected.