Serious anxiety over 20 week gender scan

[Hopefullmummy]

Guys I’m having some serious anxiety. Like the keeping me up at night type.

I’m 17 weeks pregnant. Obviously 3 weeks off from my 20 week scan. Although I had the NIPT blood test that confirmed XX chromosomes (girl ) and the 12w6d nub is girly I’m convincing myself it was wrong.

I was told with DS2 in an early scan that he was a girl so I think that anxiety is coming back to me. It was pretty much what triggered GD in me. Thinking he was a girl till the 20 week scan.

Even though this is different because I actually have had a blood test that checks chromosomes !!!! I still am doubting it. My Fetal DNA was only 4% at 10 weeks in the sample blood. The lab tech said that was a fairly normal
Amount but since I have a higher BMI I’m scared that with the low percentage there could be higher false rate.

She told out of 20,000 people they only got 4 wrong. So that’s 0.02 percent wrong. I’m being so stupid but I can’t help it. I really can’t.

I’m considering getting a gender scan before my already very expensive 20 week scan. My husband thinks I’m insane.

Any words of encouragement ? Honestly my biggest worry is telling people I’m expecting a girl then it being false. Because I’m seeing everyone’s true reactions now. And I don’t want pity. ( and my obvious desire for a daughter since I’ve been swaying for a year ! )

Any words of wisdom ? Should I get gender scan or wait 3 weeks ? Seriously anxious over this. And feeling sick about it. I’ve convinced myself it’s not a girl.

Thanks so much


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[Throwaway_panther]

I'm one of those people who, at this point in my life, would say do the early scan for your anxieties. I don't think you NEED to -- you are carrying a girl. NIPT is reaaaaaally accurate, especially compared to scans!

But I also know what it's like to have your life taken over by anxiety. So get the scan if it will help.

Buuuut my even bigger recommendation? Therapy! It's a wonderful tool and support, especially for anxiety.

[ksmom]

If it were me, I'd trust the NIPT over an ultrasound. Those genetic tests are very accurate, even more so than a scan where there's room for error based on the tech's skill level, view of the baby, etc. I understand the anxiety though and if you feel like you HAVE to have a gender scan for sanity's sake and to confirm you are indeed having a girl, then do it. Also regarding peoples reactions, please don't mind what they say. I know how hard that is (really, I do!) but it's your baby, not theirs so who gives a rat's patootie what they think. lol People are always going to have comments about your family, whether you have all boys, all girls, or have a girl after boys.

[atomic sagebrush]

Save that money for baby clothes Hopefull!!

But, I do agree with Throwaway it's probably money well spent if you really think it will alleviate your anxiety. My concern is that you spend the money and then the scan DOESN"T alleviate your anxiety. And then the 20 week one also doesn't alleviate your anxiety. Then what?

I just think you are going to toss money away for something that ~probably~ will not make you feel any better anyway since ultrasounds are way, way less reliable than the NIPT is!

[Hopefullmummy]

Save that money for baby clothes Hopefull!!

But, I do agree with Throwaway it's probably money well spent if you really think it will alleviate your anxiety. My concern is that you spend the money and then the scan DOESN"T alleviate your anxiety. And then the 20 week one also doesn't alleviate your anxiety. Then what?

I just think you are going to toss money away for something that ~probably~ will not make you feel any better anyway since ultrasounds are way, way less reliable than the NIPT is!

So I had my 20 week scan. ( I decided on not doing a gender scan because you know, $$$) and of course atomic the wisest of us all is correct (again ) they’ve confirmed girl again. And weirdly I still can’t accept it. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me. I mean I’m excited and everything. And I’ve bought girl things. But there is still a voice inside me saying what if they’re all wrong [emoji23] so atomic when you said the scan probably won’t take away the anxiety you were right. I mean it’s reduced a lot. But I still do keep reading into what the tech said. “ it looks like a girl “
Or “ it seems to be “. I’m sitting here thinking why didn’t she say yep. Definitely a girl haha anyway. If a nipt test, 20 week scan and a girl nub won’t make me believe it all , there is no hope.

I’ve accepted I’m completely insane.


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[XXforhubby]

Totally normal. I was just like you- had a NIPT, and 3 scans confirm girl, but I couldn’t quite believe it until I met her. There was a big part of me that just couldn’t believe that my DH and I could make a girl, haha! It will all sink in once you meet her!

Hugest congrats!!


[emoji170]8/2010 [emoji170]6/2013 [emoji170]11/2015 [emoji170]
[emoji178]10/2017[emoji178]

[emoji254]Thank you Gender Dreaming for our precious little girl![emoji254]

[Hopefullmummy]

Totally normal. I was just like you- had a NIPT, and 3 scans confirm girl, but I couldn’t quite believe it until I met her. There was a big part of me that just couldn’t believe that my DH and I could make a girl, haha! It will all sink in once you meet her!

Hugest congrats!!


[emoji170]8/2010 [emoji170]6/2013 [emoji170]11/2015 [emoji170]
[emoji178]10/2017[emoji178]

[emoji254]Thank you Gender Dreaming for our precious little girl![emoji254]

I think that’s the reason. That I didn’t think it was possible that I could make a girl!


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[Faithinpink]

I was exactly the same. The anxiety was terrible to the point were i couldnt sleep.
When i started packing my hospital bag i drove my dh crazy saying i better take all the pink clothes out just incase and just have white.
I also had the nipt harmony test and many a scan and still didnt believe it even though i was told time and time again its is a girl .
Try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy nipt tests are very reliable. All the best enjoy your little girl

[Hopefullmummy]

I was exactly the same. The anxiety was terrible to the point were i couldnt sleep.
When i started packing my hospital bag i drove my dh crazy saying i better take all the pink clothes out just incase and just have white.
I also had the nipt harmony test and many a scan and still didnt believe it even though i was told time and time again its is a girl .
Try and relax and enjoy your pregnancy nipt tests are very reliable. All the best enjoy your little girl

Wow so I’m not alone in this. Thank you for responding


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[Faithinpink]

No your not alone . There are quite a few of us on here who didnt believe it who have 2 , 3 ,4 plus boys or still waiting to have there babies and are in doubt just like you .
Believe in yourself have faith and before you know you will be having such precious snuggles with your baby girl xxx

[atomic sagebrush]

They aren't supposed to. It's their rule that they phrase it that way to cover their butts!

The more times they say girl, the less likely it is that they're wrong. You are well in the land of .01% error here. :)