failed sway - success after?

[boyshopping]

Hi,
Has anyone on the board had a failed sway and then a successful sway after that? Or do some go HT? thanks!

[nicoler]

I had 2 failed sways (1 InGender and the other LE) and that was the end of my swaying days. I went HT after that for #3. If HT hadn't worked for me I likely would not have pursued having more children.

[boyshopping]

Hi Nicoler - thanks. So maybe some of us are just prone to one gender regardless of sway? After HT are you happy with it all? In either case it’s just a hard decision. I worry that with HT, baby arrives and something happens in the far future it would be my fault for doing HT in first place. Did you go through this too? Thanks

[ksmom]

I had a LE sway opposite with DS3 and while I love him dearly, I don't think I'd sway again. At the end of the day, it's a gamble and it's one I don't feel comfortable taking. I do believe swaying can work but for me I need that guarantee HT can give me. I think that's what it boils down to. Are you willing to take that risk? Are you totally okay with having a boy or do you know deep down you only want a girl? I think NBP said it once but the real question is when deciding between HT and swaying is, do you want another baby or do you just want a daughter? Those are the tough questions we have to ask ourselves.

[nicoler]

Ksmom said it perfectly and that was exactly where I was at before I went HT. It's been a long, heartbreaking and very expensive road for me but even at my lowest point I didn't regret going this route. I needed that guarantee. It's been a bit over 2 years since I started working with HRC and after 2 retrievals and 2 failed transfers I'm now 18 weeks pregnant with my DD.

[nicoler]

I don't worry about birth defects any more than I did with my natural pregnancies. The only embryos that are transferred are known to be chromosomally normal and obscure genetic or other conditions can just as easily arise in a natural conception.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I had a failed Shettles sway with DS 3 and then a failed IG sway (with some LE elements but I was only just starting to do research then) with DS 4. Got a girl with my next try.

Several people have had opposites and then gotten success. One big thing I do with all sway opposites is have them switch from the standard LE Diet to the alternate one that is better for people with tendencies towards developing PCOS.

Here's my essay on coming back from a sway opposite. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/18466-when-sways-attack.html

Here's the thread that has the alternate form of LE Diet in it http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/9052-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-3-pcos.html

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't worry about birth defects any more than I did with my natural pregnancies. The only embryos that are transferred are known to be chromosomally normal and obscure genetic or other conditions can just as easily arise in a natural conception.

if anything you can worry less about that since they are tested and found to be chromosomally normal at least for the things doctors know to test for

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Nicoler - thanks. So maybe some of us are just prone to one gender regardless of sway? After HT are you happy with it all? In either case it’s just a hard decision. I worry that with HT, baby arrives and something happens in the far future it would be my fault for doing HT in first place. Did you go through this too? Thanks

Swaying is like an iceberg. You know the way an iceberg has this little tip sticking up out of the water and then there's like this huge mass under the water that no one can see? Well that's what swaying is. The little piece above the water. We do what we can to affect our results but there's so much going on that we cannot see, plus a huge element of luck involved, that it can never be a guarantee, no way, no how. All we can do is focus on doing what has worked for most people most of the time.

I will say this - if HT is an option, do it NOW. Don't sway first and then think "well maybe if this doesn't work I'll do HT next time through" Because your odds do NOT improve with time and waiting 3-4 years between kiddos (which tends to be about how long it takes) is only going to hurt your chances in the long run.

[atomic sagebrush]

I had a LE sway opposite with DS3 and while I love him dearly, I don't think I'd sway again. At the end of the day, it's a gamble and it's one I don't feel comfortable taking. I do believe swaying can work but for me I need that guarantee HT can give me. I think that's what it boils down to. Are you willing to take that risk? Are you totally okay with having a boy or do you know deep down you only want a girl? I think NBP said it once but the real question is when deciding between HT and swaying is, do you want another baby or do you just want a daughter? Those are the tough questions we have to ask ourselves.

:agree: A question I like to ask people is "what feels worse - walking away with no baby and no money or walking away with an opposite?" Comparing the worst case scenarios is sometimes beneficial, because everyone in their right minds would say "oh yeah I totally want a daughter of course". But the unfortunate truth is that it's entirely possible with IVF to end up not pregnant and with the money spent. Personally I couldn't do that and I felt better about an opposite. Other people might have a different take on it and that's why it's so good to ask yourself the questions and really think about how you would feel in that situation. :)

[boyshopping]

thanks so much ladies and Atomic!! I don't think I have tendencies towards developing PCOS but would that be a better sway? I definitely need to do some hard thinking about HT or would I be ok with a 3rd of the same gender... or maybe I should be done with 2....

thank you!!

[atomic sagebrush]

thanks so much ladies and Atomic!! I don't think I have tendencies towards developing PCOS but would that be a better sway? I definitely need to do some hard thinking about HT or would I be ok with a 3rd of the same gender... or maybe I should be done with 2....

thank you!!

We can't know yet because it's kind of comparing apples to oranges, two different groups of people have done the different diets and it's not a blind side by side study. (To connect the dots here, it's because the people on the standard diet are generally younger, more fertile, and fall pregnant faster which may indicate they are coming into swaying more set for blue to start out with and this could very easily be skewing the results to make the standard diet look less effective than it really is.) The alternate diet has gotten as good or better results as the standard diet has - on paper it looks better but with a much smaller sample size and also the two different groups problem.

But this is the primary change I make when you guys are coming back after a sway opposite is that you should switch over to the alt. diet (even if just somewhat, even if you slip up occasionally) and we have had successful sways for several people after having opposites by doing this. I strongly recommend everyone who got an opposite on standard LE make the change to the alternate diet.

I would actually try switching EVERYONE over to the PCOS-type diet for a year and see what happened but the trouble is, the alternate LE Diet is harder to stick to, more expensive (by quite a bit), and people who don't need it end up losing scads of weight on it so I really can't use it for everyone - but I would love to try it and I am using it for more and more and more people as time goes on.

[boyshopping]

Thanks so much Atomic. What is the biggest difference between the standard LE diet and the alternate PCOS/LE diet? Also, last time DH wasn't doing anything - should he be swaying as well? if so what should he be doing? thanks!!

[atomic sagebrush]

slightly higher intake of protein and fat, and getting carbs more from fruits, veg, and whole grains and not so many (or any) white refined carbs.

Smoking, jogging/biking - totally proven to sway pink for DH.

Olive leaf extract and soy milk/foods - may sway pink.

other things like cranberry, licorice or peppermint tea, hot baths, tighty whiteys - much less reliable data.

It may help if he gives up any supplements, takes fiber, and eats a vegetarian or vegan diet (even jsut cuts back on meat intake)

All these things, you need to check about drug interactions, health interactions, etc because they are not all right for everyone to do and take.

[boyshopping]

Thanks Atomic - for DH - can jogging be 30-60 minutes? and how many times a week? Also for DH vegetarian diet - how long have ppl tried with good results? 12 weeks? thanks!

[atomic sagebrush]

We don't know how long it needs to be (for either the jogging or the diet). We just don't have all the data on these things.

[mwilson]

what is ht??

[atomic sagebrush]

what is ht??

"high tech" meaning people who will be doing IVF/PGD