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frankie2017
January 8th, 2018, 07:09 PM
I just wanted to start a thread here because I saw others discussing over in a due date thread about the Queensland doctors who are currently investigating whether they can offer PGD for family balancing due to a loophole.

I didn’t want to lose the info that netti added so putting it here for others too.

Dr David Malloy from Queensland Fertility Group is in support of PGD for family balancing.

Waitlist for info via Melissa, number 07 3015 3022.

I haven’t been able to get through just yet but I’m going to try again soon.

Thanks Netti for this info!



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emshe
January 8th, 2018, 07:53 PM
I just wanted to start a thread here because I saw others discussing over in a due date thread about the Queensland doctors who are currently investigating whether they can offer PGD for family balancing due to a loophole.

I didn’t want to lose the info that netti added so putting it here for others too.

Dr David Malloy from Queensland Fertility Group is in support of PGD for family balancing.

Waitlist for info via Melissa, number 07 3015 3022.

I haven’t been able to get through just yet but I’m going to try again soon.

Thanks Netti for this info!



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Good idea! Thanks, & to all the ladies with all this valuable info!!! 🤞


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MiaMelb
January 8th, 2018, 09:05 PM
Good idea Frankie. I really wish this would happen, it would just open up the possibility of going HT for so many people who can't make it happen overseas for financial reasons. I am still a little scarred after an interaction I had with my GP while we were waiting for the report into it the other year in which she pretty much laughed in my face when I asked if she thought it would be legalised. Reminded me about how far we have to shift public and many medical professionals opinions for this to happen.

MiaMelb
January 8th, 2018, 09:06 PM
Haven't seen you round much lately Frankie. Are you still stealth swaying or looking into HT?

netti02
January 9th, 2018, 02:19 AM
Just to add ladies try Queensland Fertility Group it's a toll free number, and ask to be transferred to Dr Malloys rooms. I think Melissa is on holidays.

I spoke with his rooms today (i think he returns on the 15th). I was able to book an early phone consult with him on the 23rd. The receptionist advised they haven't got very far with the legal side unfortunately, so I'm not sure what to expect when I speak to him.

I will update you when I have spoken with him. I also contacted Genea, however I won't hear until next week sometime.

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frankie2017
January 9th, 2018, 02:22 AM
Haven't seen you round much lately Frankie. Are you still stealth swayin or looking into HT?

So.. long story short I was pregnant, lost the baby and it sort of triggered all these ginormous discussions - a lot of stuff happened all at once for us and we made the decision to actually wait a bit - I’ve decided to try and get my business off the ground first ! :) We’ve given ourselves 2 years max (I’ll be 37). So to that end I’m very curious about the new discussions around local HT possibilities !


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frankie2017
January 9th, 2018, 02:23 AM
Good idea Frankie. I really wish this would happen, it would just open up the possibility of going HT for so many people who can't make it happen overseas for financial reasons. I am still a little scarred after an interaction I had with my GP while we were waiting for the report into it the other year in which she pretty much laughed in my face when I asked if she thought it would be legalised. Reminded me about how far we have to shift public and many medical professionals opinions for this to happen.

That sounds annoying - so ridiculous how taboo it is to talk about. Where there’s money to be made companies like Genea and QFG will try their hardest to get legislations changed, so that’s on our side !


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frankie2017
January 9th, 2018, 02:37 AM
Ps where are you at Mia are you currently swaying ? You’re wanting a boy right ?


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netti02
January 9th, 2018, 02:50 AM
Good idea Frankie. I really wish this would happen, it would just open up the possibility of going HT for so many people who can't make it happen overseas for financial reasons. I am still a little scarred after an interaction I had with my GP while we were waiting for the report into it the other year in which she pretty much laughed in my face when I asked if she thought it would be legalised. Reminded me about how far we have to shift public and many medical professionals opinions for this to happen.This is in no means to offend anyone, but with the introduction of gay marriage, single women and gay couples accessing IVF for their dream to come true, I'm struggling to understand why there's a blockade on our dreams. Particularly when it will boost local economy.

It should be our reproductive right to be able to seek these options for our family and our mental and emotional well being

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MiaMelb
January 9th, 2018, 04:03 AM
Ps where are you at Mia are you currently swaying ? You’re wanting a boy right ?


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Just about to start ramping my sway up (if I don't back out with cold feet). Getting the Mirena out next week and in my head and with my ideal timeline likely to ttc April-July. I'm pretty set on not having to larger age gap and even that will put it at about 4.5/5 years between DD1 and #3. If HT was really going to be a viable option here within the next year I'd have to seriously look at that.

Kawazza
January 9th, 2018, 04:07 AM
ive missed what the actual loophole is, can anyone brief me? Very curious

MiaMelb
January 9th, 2018, 04:52 AM
So.. long story short I was pregnant, lost the baby and it sort of triggered all these ginormous discussions - a lot of stuff happened all at once for us and we made the decision to actually wait a bit - I’ve decided to try and get my business off the ground first ! :) We’ve given ourselves 2 years max (I’ll be 37). So to that end I’m very curious about the new discussions around local HT possibilities !


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Oh wow I'm sorry to hear of your loss and that life has been throwing everything at you. Good luck with your business, it's a very courageous thing to pursue. Perhaps HT will work with your new timeline.

netti02
January 9th, 2018, 05:22 AM
State and Territory ART legislation The regulation of the clinical practice of ART is the responsibility of the state and territory governments. At the time of publication [2017], only four Australian states have such legislation:21 • Victoria – Assisted Reproductive Treatment Act 2008 • New South Wales – Assisted Reproductive Technology Act 2007 • Western Australia – Human Reproductive Technology Act 1991 • South Australia – Assisted Reproductive Treatment Act 1988 Since 1996, AHEC has recommended that legislation be enacted in the all states and territories, noting that without uniform legislation, the regulation of national data collection and the maintenance of a centralised registry cannot be achieved.

Ive taken this from the ethical guidelines. That's where QLD fits in that they don't have an actual 'act' enforcing the guidelines by NHRMC. The document is completely confusing too [emoji53]

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netti02
January 9th, 2018, 05:26 AM
To add to my story for those that may not know. DS6 is due in April. Last girl on my DHs side was born 1926. There was a stillbirth, a girl, my father in laws sister in 1960. So 3 generations and no girl unless we change that.

I was never swaying hardcore but made some minor changes this time round.

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emshe
January 9th, 2018, 09:45 PM
Good idea Frankie. I really wish this would happen, it would just open up the possibility of going HT for so many people who can't make it happen overseas for financial reasons. I am still a little scarred after an interaction I had with my GP while we were waiting for the report into it the other year in which she pretty much laughed in my face when I asked if she thought it would be legalised. Reminded me about how far we have to shift public and many medical professionals opinions for this to happen.

It’s so hard, I’m sorry you experienced that. Deciphering who you can and who you can’t talk to about this is so difficult.
I told virtually no one I was doing ivf over the last year, not even family, & the stories we told about why we went to the states 3 times were so difficult. So when I miscarried my girl I couldn’t even tell my family, they didn’t know I was pregnant. I feel bad that my girl will not be known or loved by those she would have, despite not being here with us.
I so wish it would be available here & it were so much easier for us to try to fulfil the longing & love for the babies that we already have but don’t have if you know what I mean...
I so hope for all of us that somehow someway we find our happy ever after.

I tried to bring myself to ring today, but baulked... what did you ladies say!? Do you ask straight out can I get info on gender selection?


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emshe
January 9th, 2018, 09:48 PM
To add to my story for those that may not know. DS6 is due in April. Last girl on my DHs side was born 1926. There was a stillbirth, a girl, my father in laws sister in 1960. So 3 generations and no girl unless we change that.

I was never swaying hardcore but made some minor changes this time round.

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Congrats on your boy netti! He will be another bundle of fun I’m sure. That’s some family history isn’t it! Amazing. I so hope you get to add your pink


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emshe
January 9th, 2018, 09:51 PM
So.. long story short I was pregnant, lost the baby and it sort of triggered all these ginormous discussions - a lot of stuff happened all at once for us and we made the decision to actually wait a bit - I’ve decided to try and get my business off the ground first ! :) We’ve given ourselves 2 years max (I’ll be 37). So to that end I’m very curious about the new discussions around local HT possibilities !


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I’m sorry for your loss Frankie, i hope your managing ok. Good news on the business, very exciting I hope it goes really well for you.
I also hope your baby plans go just as you hope


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emshe
January 9th, 2018, 09:53 PM
Just about to start ramping my sway up (if I don't back out with cold feet). Getting the Mirena out next week and in my head and with my ideal timeline likely to ttc April-July. I'm pretty set on not having to larger age gap and even that will put it at about 4.5/5 years between DD1 and #3. If HT was really going to be a viable option here within the next year I'd have to seriously look at that.

Good luck MiaMelb, hope your sway is bright & blue! I’m working towards swaying pink soon & im nervous too...


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netti02
January 9th, 2018, 09:57 PM
It’s so hard, I’m sorry you experienced that. Deciphering who you can and who you can’t talk to about this is so difficult.
I told virtually no one I was doing ivf over the last year, not even family, & the stories we told about why we went to the states 3 times were so difficult. So when I miscarried my girl I couldn’t even tell my family, they didn’t know I was pregnant. I feel bad that my girl will not be known or loved by those she would have, despite not being here with us.
I so wish it would be available here & it were so much easier for us to try to fulfil the longing & love for the babies that we already have but don’t have if you know what I mean...
I so hope for all of us that somehow someway we find our happy ever after.

I tried to bring myself to ring today, but baulked... what did you ladies say!? Do you ask straight out can I get info on gender selection?


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkYes i asked straight out. Dr Molloy is a supporter for it and his rooms were happy to fit me in for a free phone consult.

Im sorry you had to go through that. I can only imagine your pain and not being able to share it aswell. We were very reluctant this time around not only to share the baby news but the gender and ive skirted around the issue with people to avoid the comments ive heard too often.

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emshe
January 9th, 2018, 10:18 PM
Yes i asked straight out. Dr Molloy is a supporter for it and his rooms were happy to fit me in for a free phone consult.

Im sorry you had to go through that. I can only imagine your pain and not being able to share it aswell. We were very reluctant this time around not only to share the baby news but the gender and ive skirted around the issue with people to avoid the comments ive heard too often.

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Sorry you get the comments, I really don’t understand people. A baby is a blessing and so loved, he will be perfect!

Wow, amazing that he offers a free consult too! Thank you I will give them a call. I got a lump in my throat trying to dial!


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Kawazza
January 10th, 2018, 03:00 AM
Thankyou Netti for that. I don't really understand all of it, but it's such good news that there is a loophole and that there are DR's out there supportive. When I suffered GD during my pregnancies I was in a really bad place, and I struggled to find someone who specialised in it. When I finally opened up to get help I was made to feel like I was the only one on the planet who felt like this and it was not normal, a criminal even.

When I hear about these Dr's who are supportive I get a warm fuzzy feeling inside . I really hope that he can help you.

netti02
January 10th, 2018, 04:08 AM
Let us know how you go emshe.

Thanks Kawazza. I was in a bad place with pregnancies 5 and this current one. We really hoped and prayed and i asked so much of DH even having more kids. Ive made a peace now this is what it is yet i have good days and bad days. It was so hard to have the hope build up and then be disappointed and guilty all at the same time.

DH has said he doesn't want more regardless of what the Dr says but Ive told him Im at least speaking to him. I said I wouldn't ask any more of him only if we could guarantee just one time. But ill see how my phone call goes.

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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 04:11 AM
Thankyou Netti for that. I don't really understand all of it, but it's such good news that there is a loophole and that there are DR's out there supportive. When I suffered GD during my pregnancies I was in a really bad place, and I struggled to find someone who specialised in it. When I finally opened up to get help I was made to feel like I was the only one on the planet who felt like this and it was not normal, a criminal even.

When I hear about these Dr's who are supportive I get a warm fuzzy feeling inside . I really hope that he can help you.Its well and truly normal. Thats like trying to tell a gay person that how they feel isn't normal in my opinion. Theres so many people that don't talk about it due to the prejudice and judgements and its so sad.

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Pinky3
January 10th, 2018, 04:44 AM
Just to add ladies try Queensland Fertility Group it's a toll free number, and ask to be transferred to Dr Malloys rooms. I think Melissa is on holidays.

I spoke with his rooms today (i think he returns on the 15th). I was able to book an early phone consult with him on the 23rd. The receptionist advised they haven't got very far with the legal side unfortunately, so I'm not sure what to expect when I speak to him.

I will update you when I have spoken with him. I also contacted Genea, however I won't hear until next week sometime.

Sent from my SM-G935F using TapatalkHi! I tried calling Dr Malloy today but no answer. Will try again tomorrow. I currently have 2 boys and would love a girl. Have considering going to the USA but DH isnt 100%, if a locally was an option it would totally put the odds in my favour trying to convince hubby!

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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 04:59 AM
Try this number (07) 30153130. I believe this is the number for his rooms.

He is back next week but they may be able to schedule something.

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Pinky3
January 10th, 2018, 05:04 AM
Try this number (07) 30153130. I believe this is the number for his rooms.

He is back next week but they may be able to schedule something.

Sent from my SM-G935F using TapatalkGreat thanks! Ill try that number tomorrow. So do you have a phone consult scheduled? Where r you located? Im in Melbourne. Do you know what will be discussed during the phone consult? Is gender selection actually going to be an option or is he still investigating?

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frankie2017
January 10th, 2018, 05:31 AM
To add to my story for those that may not know. DS6 is due in April. Last girl on my DHs side was born 1926. There was a stillbirth, a girl, my father in laws sister in 1960. So 3 generations and no girl unless we change that.

I was never swaying hardcore but made some minor changes this time round.

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I’ve been following your story here but didn’t know it had been so long in your family - wow! Do you know if that means it’s a genetic problem somehow? I really dont know how it works but just noticed Throwawy Panther I think it was gone to HT and had confirmation (I think) that the reason she gets all girls is a genetic problem with the males ... I just skim through so not positive but that’s how it read... so interesting..

I honestly think if the US is doing it, Australia will have to catch up before too long. We copy them, companies want to make money.. it’s surely inevitable, just not sure how long...


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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 09:27 AM
Great thanks! Ill try that number tomorrow. So do you have a phone consult scheduled? Where r you located? Im in Melbourne. Do you know what will be discussed during the phone consult? Is gender selection actually going to be an option or is he still investigating?

Sent from my SM-T813 using TapatalkI have an early phone consult scheduled on the 23rd Jan. Im in Sydney. As per my phone call with the receptionist, they haven't gotten far with the legal side of things and to not get my hopes up.

Im pretty sure thats what he will say too and he may give a timeline regarding the legal side of things etc and maybe when to expect an answer. I am wondering if he will probe my history and if theres any basis there to have any treatment done. My brother inlaw has one child, also a boy.

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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 09:42 AM
I’ve been following your story here but didn’t know it had been so long in your family - wow! Do you know if that means it’s a genetic problem somehow? I really dont know how it works but just noticed Throwawy Panther I think it was gone to HT and had confirmation (I think) that the reason she gets all girls is a genetic problem with the males ... I just skim through so not positive but that’s how it read... so interesting..

I honestly think if the US is doing it, Australia will have to catch up before too long. We copy them, companies want to make money.. it’s surely inevitable, just not sure how long...


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkI agree. We will have to play catch up with them. The guidelines are actually interesting to read as they also try to support the reasons for family balancing which are pointed out as further discussion topics (but when these will be discussed it did not say).

It kind of makes me wonder if there is something going on with genetics. Particularly with a still birth of a girl too. I believe there was only the 1 sister born in that generation aswell. In all honesty, if i was to conceive naturally and it was a girl, Id probably be on the edge awaiting delivery to ensure all was safe. My brother in law has one boy. My mother in law 3 boys (she had a termination for her first due to getting measles when pregnant) and we have 6. I was sure out of 6 somewhere we would get out girl [emoji854]

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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 10:05 AM
Ok just found the family tree from that generation. There were 9 children. 3 boys, 1 of which died in the same year or ? At birth.

6 girls, 1 of which also died in the same year.

I have a sister. She has 2 girls. My mum is one of 3 girls in her family.

Strange dynamics [emoji4]

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emshe
January 10th, 2018, 05:22 PM
Ok just found the family tree from that generation. There were 9 children. 3 boys, 1 of which died in the same year or ? At birth.

6 girls, 1 of which also died in the same year.

I have a sister. She has 2 girls. My mum is one of 3 girls in her family.

Strange dynamics [emoji4]

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So interesting! I can’t wait to hear about your chat with him 🤞


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emshe
January 10th, 2018, 06:06 PM
Rang and spoke to receptionist, so lovely! Phone chat about that & some other issues on 25/1 have to remember the time difference!


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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 06:40 PM
Rang and spoke to receptionist, so lovely! Phone chat about that & some other issues on 25/1 have to remember the time difference!


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkMe too 🤣🤣 i have my phone calendar set with a reminder

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netti02
January 10th, 2018, 07:17 PM
Newcastle University. (2008, December 12). Boy Or Girl? It's In The Father's Genes. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 10, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081211121835.htm

A snippet from this article.

Sons or daughters?

A gene consists of two parts, known as alleles, one inherited from each parent. In his paper, Mr Gellatly demonstrates that it is likely men carry two different types of allele, which results in three possible combinations in a gene that controls the ratio of X and Y sperm;

Men with the first combination, known as mm, produce more Y sperm and have more sons.The second, known as mf, produce a roughly equal number of X and Y sperm and have an approximately equal number of sons and daughters.The third, known as ff produce more X sperm and have more daughters.

“The gene that is passed on from both parents, which causes some men to have more sons and some to have more daughters, may explain why we see the number of men and women roughly balanced in a population. If there are too many males in the population, for example, females will more easily find a mate, so men who have more daughters will pass on more of their genes, causing more females to be born in later generations,” says Newcastle University researcher Mr Gellatly.

A study of family trees and such. Very interesting.



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emshe
January 10th, 2018, 09:28 PM
Me too 🤣🤣 i have my phone calendar set with a reminder

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Kind of glad we’re an hour ahead because my appointment is 7.30am. I actually asked do you mean AM????


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emshe
January 10th, 2018, 09:29 PM
Newcastle University. (2008, December 12). Boy Or Girl? It's In The Father's Genes. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 10, 2018 from Boy Or Girl? It's In The Father's Genes -- ScienceDaily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081211121835.htm)

A snippet from this article.

Sons or daughters?

A gene consists of two parts, known as alleles, one inherited from each parent. In his paper, Mr Gellatly demonstrates that it is likely men carry two different types of allele, which results in three possible combinations in a gene that controls the ratio of X and Y sperm;

Men with the first combination, known as mm, produce more Y sperm and have more sons.The second, known as mf, produce a roughly equal number of X and Y sperm and have an approximately equal number of sons and daughters.The third, known as ff produce more X sperm and have more daughters.

“The gene that is passed on from both parents, which causes some men to have more sons and some to have more daughters, may explain why we see the number of men and women roughly balanced in a population. If there are too many males in the population, for example, females will more easily find a mate, so men who have more daughters will pass on more of their genes, causing more females to be born in later generations,” says Newcastle University researcher Mr Gellatly.

A study of family trees and such. Very interesting.



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Wow!


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boywish
January 10th, 2018, 10:34 PM
Rang and spoke to receptionist, so lovely! Phone chat about that & some other issues on 25/1 have to remember the time difference!


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I did the same thing [emoji4]mine is at 7:30am on the 30th. The receptionist did say not to get my hopes up as it is a very slow moving process

frankie2017
January 10th, 2018, 11:48 PM
Be sure to update here when you’ve spoken to them ladies! So curious what they can tell you at this stage...



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frankie2017
January 10th, 2018, 11:50 PM
Emshe so you went to the US for HT did you ?How many go’s did you have ? How frustrating that it didn’t work for you [emoji20]


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emshe
January 11th, 2018, 04:48 AM
Emshe so you went to the US for HT did you ?How many go’s did you have ? How frustrating that it didn’t work for you [emoji20]


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I did, my first collection yielded nothing worth testing, my second was good. Unfortunately fresh transfer didn’t take, the next, my frozen girl embryo resulted in pregnancy but I miscarried her mid November. Devastating.


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frankie2017
January 11th, 2018, 06:35 PM
I did, my first collection yielded nothing worth testing, my second was good. Unfortunately fresh transfer didn’t take, the next, my frozen girl embryo resulted in pregnancy but I miscarried her mid November. Devastating.


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Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. What a shitty thing to go through. I hope one day you get what you wish for.


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MiaMelb
January 11th, 2018, 07:15 PM
I did, my first collection yielded nothing worth testing, my second was good. Unfortunately fresh transfer didn’t take, the next, my frozen girl embryo resulted in pregnancy but I miscarried her mid November. Devastating.


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Emshe that sounds like such a difficult journey you've been on. You are obviously very strong to be continuing moving forward.

emshe
January 11th, 2018, 09:48 PM
Thanks ladies, I certainly have my moments... It is such a tough journey trying to fulfil our desire.

I think moving forward is my coping mechanism in someways Mia Melb, Im scared to stop as that in itself will be difficult too on top of the loss we already feel. I wish I could just switch it off, but I haven't gotten there & I dont know if I ever will. I swore I would, and hubby reminded me of that a couple of times, but he too seems to want to keep trying. When I mentioned Dr Molloy the other day, he instantly asked "so did you call". Shock! I cannot even imagine how we would afford it, the financial side has been huge already. But his response cemented that he is just as invested in this journey. I am on atomics fertilty diet & I feel that will be our route now but I will have a chat with this Dr and see what he has to say.

Gosh I hope they realise the value of the process being made available here & give it the go ahead. I just so wish we & everyone out there wanting a baby could have our babies!

Pinky3
January 12th, 2018, 08:13 PM
I spoke to dr Malloys office yesterday and they will be in touch if there is any progress. For u ladies that have a phone appointment please let us know bow u go.

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netti02
January 14th, 2018, 08:44 PM
Hi Ladies

I heard from Dr Bowman's rooms in fact his receptionist. He is apart of Genea in Sydney. Whilst he is supportive of couples seeking IVF with PGD for family balancing, he is unable to help.

'IVF units in Australia need to comply with National ethical guidelines for assisted conception in order to maintain their ability to practice. As a result, Dr Bowman is unable to provide treatment for you'.

NSW is legislated by the Assisted Reproductive technology act 2007.

Phone Appointment in a weeks time with Dr Molloy. I wish I had money I would be taking this to court to fight for our reproductive rights.

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emshe
January 14th, 2018, 09:09 PM
Hi Ladies

I heard from Dr Bowman's rooms in fact his receptionist. He is apart of Genea in Sydney. Whilst he is supportive of couples seeking IVF with PGD for family balancing, he is unable to help.

'IVF units in Australia need to comply with National ethical guidelines for assisted conception in order to maintain their ability to practice. As a result, Dr Bowman is unable to provide treatment for you'.

NSW is legislated by the Assisted Reproductive technology act 2007.

Phone Appointment in a weeks time with Dr Molloy. I wish I had money I would be taking this to court to fight for our reproductive rights.

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I’d join you if I could. It did mention NSW specifically so possible that they are too aware of a possible loophole in other states!?

Dr Molloy’s phone will be ringing hot next week[emoji6]


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netti02
January 14th, 2018, 09:24 PM
I’d join you if I could. It did mention NSW specifically so possible that they are too aware of a possible loophole in other states!?

Dr Molloy’s phone will be ringing hot next week[emoji6]


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkThey may be aware of it, I am not sure. As they are 2 different clinics they may not share info etc. But QLD doesn't have this act so FX its our saviour.

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netti02
January 20th, 2018, 07:29 AM
Appmnt next Tuesday with Dr Molloy. I got a text reminder [emoji16] ive been going through things in my head- what I want to discuss etc.

Is there anything you ladies think I should/need to mention?

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frankie2017
January 20th, 2018, 04:49 PM
Ooh exciting. I would just be asking what is the process going to be for them to investigate their legal position and how long might that take? And whether in their opinion they’re going to be successful, or, whether they think Australia is going to catch up with the USA at any point in general ie all states? That’s what I’m curious about... it’s a shred of hope but a shred nonetheless - I hope you get some interesting answers and not more open ends....


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emshe
January 20th, 2018, 09:48 PM
Appmnt next Tuesday with Dr Molloy. I got a text reminder [emoji16] ive been going through things in my head- what I want to discuss etc.

Is there anything you ladies think I should/need to mention?

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Hope he has some hopeful answers for you netti!

I’m getting a bit nervous about mine on Thursday. I’m not good on the phone... it’s all a bit real too, that in a short while we may try “ourselves” again.


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netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 04:20 PM
Appmnt in 10 minutes [emoji50][emoji50]

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MiaMelb
January 22nd, 2018, 04:25 PM
Looking forward to hearing how it goes Netti:nails:

netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 04:26 PM
I have so much I want to say so i hope I remember and have enough time to get it all out 🤞

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netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 04:38 PM
Well that didn't last long enough however, I am going to provide a written letter outlining my choice for IVF/PGD and why it should be allowed. Im hoping how I want to word it will work in favour.

He can't provide any time frame at this stage unfortunately as it's a very slow process through the legal side of things.

Im off to write this letter. The words have been on my brain for days so best to get it out.

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frankie2017
January 22nd, 2018, 05:17 PM
So they couldn’t tell you anything at all? :(


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emshe
January 22nd, 2018, 07:52 PM
Work your determined magic in there netti!

If writing letters going to prove beneficial for his case, I’d be happy to write one too!


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MiaMelb
January 22nd, 2018, 08:22 PM
??? So have they asked/recommended you send a letter outlining why you would like ivf/pdg so they can use it as part of their legal case to be allowed to offer it?

LMSM
January 22nd, 2018, 08:54 PM
Oh sounds like the conversation may have been a bit light/disappointing… sigh
If they need more letters to support their case, let me know, I’d happily write one too!! ;)

netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 11:21 PM
So they couldn’t tell you anything at all? :(


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkNot really Frankie a very slow process. Yet my letter I am writing is about to open up a whole can of worms for this council cause I think there using prejudice and with holding reproductive rights. It will cover my journey and hardships me and DH have experienced in making this dream come true, which is still just a dream atm.

Im thinking of also sending it to the council aswell.

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netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 11:23 PM
??? So have they asked/recommended you send a letter outlining why you would like ivf/pdg so they can use it as part of their legal case to be allowed to offer it?Miamelb- i actually offered as I think thats our only chance in getting our point across. I believe I have some interesting points to make and im hoping they will be heard loudly. Id be happy to email when Ive finished.

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netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 11:24 PM
Work your determined magic in there netti!

If writing letters going to prove beneficial for his case, I’d be happy to write one too!


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkEmshe i think it would help at this stage. Im happy to email mine when ive finished.

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netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 11:25 PM
Oh sounds like the conversation may have been a bit light/disappointing… sigh
If they need more letters to support their case, let me know, I’d happily write one too!! ;)LMSM yes it was very light and rushed- but im not giving up, not without a fight. I think it would benefit us in sending a letter outlining our point across.

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netti02
January 22nd, 2018, 11:52 PM
In my letter im covering my journey so far in hopes of having a daughter. It will cover the financial impacts but more importantly how socially this has affected me. Its turned me into a recluse and very reluctant to share any information about this pregnancy. I am also including how I will worry about my postnatal mental health considering ive already depleted my social stance due to comments etc and have limited social connections. I literally hate all family functions and haven't attended any in a while.

I also want to question the councils other decisions (which i actually can't find any information on) when single women were allowed to access IVF to start a family- were there ethical considerations then? Did this go through such a rigorous review as we are now? (I actually don't mind that women do access this, i just hope there were ethical considerations for that decision- not just automatically granted- this is the part where i feel we are being prejudiced ie our reproductive rights being withheld).

My other point is the council expects that further social change is warranted before this is approved. This is the most stupidest reasoning ive ever heard. IVF with PGD for gender is only ever really going to matter to the people who wish to do it. It also a closet topic. Once upon a time IVF was never talked about openly, was barely accepted in society and people had mixed understandings on how it actually worked. Right now this is where I see peoples views on IVF/PGD for gender. Ive read lots of comments and people actually think you do something or alter to create the desired gender. They don't understand you simply undergo IVF- embyros are made and then they're tested. I believe if people understood the process, there may be more of a social change.

My other point is no one talks openly about this in society to allow change to happen for fear of being judged, bullied, ridiculed and mocked. Many times ive been told as long as its healthy, like im not allowed to have hopes and dreams. Like im not allowed to be a little disappointed. That's why when people ask im not staying silent anymore. I don't care how they perceive me. I don't care if they judge me. I know im entitled to feel this way- no one has to agree with me but im definitely entitled to feel. Otherwise if i don't acknowledge my feelings and bury them away as i have done all these years, ill likely do something really silly. Thats why waiting for social change is absolute BS. Once this is implemented and starts to become main ****** no one will care it will just be another choice people have.

Im also trying to come up with some solutions on how to prevent people exploiting it for gender preference reasons. One way is to confirm with childrens birth certificates and with the actual births, deaths and marriages service.

So i plan to be quite detailed. Not just simply stating ive always wanted a daughter but covering quite a few topics.

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emshe
January 23rd, 2018, 01:16 AM
In my letter im covering my journey so far in hopes of having a daughter. It will cover the financial impacts but more importantly how socially this has affected me. Its turned me into a recluse and very reluctant to share any information about this pregnancy. I am also including how I will worry about my postnatal mental health considering ive already depleted my social stance due to comments etc and have limited social connections. I literally hate all family functions and haven't attended any in a while.

I also want to question the councils other decisions (which i actually can't find any information on) when single women were allowed to access IVF to start a family- were there ethical considerations then? Did this go through such a rigorous review as we are now? (I actually don't mind that women do access this, i just hope there were ethical considerations for that decision- not just automatically granted- this is the part where i feel we are being prejudiced ie our reproductive rights being withheld).

My other point is the council expects that further social change is warranted before this is approved. This is the most stupidest reasoning ive ever heard. IVF with PGD for gender is only ever really going to matter to the people who wish to do it. It also a closet topic. Once upon a time IVF was never talked about openly, was barely accepted in society and people had mixed understandings on how it actually worked. Right now this is where I see peoples views on IVF/PGD for gender. Ive read lots of comments and people actually think you do something or alter to create the desired gender. They don't understand you simply undergo IVF- embyros are made and then they're tested. I believe if people understood the process, there may be more of a social change.

My other point is no one talks openly about this in society to allow change to happen for fear of being judged, bullied, ridiculed and mocked. Many times ive been told as long as its healthy, like im not allowed to have hopes and dreams. Like im not allowed to be a little disappointed. That's why when people ask im not staying silent anymore. I don't care how they perceive me. I don't care if they judge me. I know im entitled to feel this way- no one has to agree with me but im definitely entitled to feel. Otherwise if i don't acknowledge my feelings and bury them away as i have done all these years, ill likely do something really silly. Thats why waiting for social change is absolute BS. Once this is implemented and starts to become main ****** no one will care it will just be another choice people have.

Im also trying to come up with some solutions on how to prevent people exploiting it for gender preference reasons. One way is to confirm with childrens birth certificates and with the actual births, deaths and marriages service.

So i plan to be quite detailed. Not just simply stating ive always wanted a daughter but covering quite a few topics.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

You are doing a great thing! We do suffer in silence I completely agree. My family and friends will never know of the daughter I lost recently and I feel just awful about that.

A day without wondering if I’ll ever fill this heartfelt desire has not been lived in over a decade. I feel for you Netti & the impact it has had on you. Know that you’re not alone, I know I think of & wish for all the ladies & gents out there desiring...that one day will be our day.

I completely understand your questioning why others get to choose & we don’t, & I can not understand how this has to impact on anyone other than the family choosing to do this. It’s not a path taken lightly nor easily. No one is going to jump into it willy nilly.

Did he seem nice & open, I’m wanting to get fertility help from him in my consult too. Don’t want to go through my past with anyone not on board with the journey I’ve had.

Proud of you!


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netti02
January 23rd, 2018, 01:31 AM
You are doing a great thing! We do suffer in silence I completely agree. My family and friends will never know of the daughter I lost recently and I feel just awful about that.

A day without wondering if I’ll ever fill this heartfelt desire has not been lived in over a decade. I feel for you Netti & the impact it has had on you. Know that you’re not alone, I know I think of & wish for all the ladies & gents out there desiring...that one day will be our day.

I completely understand your questioning why others get to choose & we don’t, & I can not understand how this has to impact on anyone other than the family choosing to do this. It’s not a path taken lightly nor easily. No one is going to jump into it willy nilly.

Did he seem nice & open, I’m wanting to get fertility help from him in my consult too. Don’t want to go through my past with anyone not on board with the journey I’ve had.

Proud of you!


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkI think he would be willing/open if you have other fertility issues you want to discuss and because he is an advocate for gender selection he would be the best choice. I simply want to ensure any future child i have is a girl just for my own sanity [emoji16] i did mention to him i am due with my 6th boy and he said wow that is alot of boys- yep you're telling me [emoji23]

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emshe
January 23rd, 2018, 03:09 AM
I think he would be willing/open if you have other fertility issues you want to discuss and because he is an advocate for gender selection he would be the best choice. I simply want to ensure any future child i have is a girl just for my own sanity [emoji16] i did mention to him i am due with my 6th boy and he said wow that is alot of boys- yep you're telling me [emoji23]

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[emoji23]


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kc15880
January 24th, 2018, 07:24 AM
Hi all - just to let you know that I wasted over 12months trying to apply to do IVF & PGD gender selection (I have a boy with autism) in Perth between 2016-2017, Following that we conceived then miscarried & then conceived DS3. I have since been told we should have applied through sydney. Very frustrating! They really wasted my time & precious fertility!

netti02
January 24th, 2018, 11:13 AM
Hi all - just to let you know that I wasted over 12months trying to apply to do IVF & PGD gender selection (I have a boy with autism) in Perth between 2016-2017, Following that we conceived then miscarried & then conceived DS3. I have since been told we should have applied through sydney. Very frustrating! They really wasted my time & precious fertility!Oh my thats unbelievable! Did/ will you try in Sydney?

Mamma to 6 boys, dreaming of pink one day

emshe
January 24th, 2018, 06:52 PM
Hi all - just to let you know that I wasted over 12months trying to apply to do IVF & PGD gender selection (I have a boy with autism) in Perth between 2016-2017, Following that we conceived then miscarried & then conceived DS3. I have since been told we should have applied through sydney. Very frustrating! They really wasted my time & precious fertility!

So sorry you have gone through this & to be mucked around, it’s not fair. I hope everything works out for you


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emshe
January 24th, 2018, 06:55 PM
Well he was nice, told me to check in again in a few months to see how it’s going as things have stalled. He wouldn’t help me with my “now” issues without my travelling to Brisbane to see him unfortunately. I can understand that! I just don’t see it happening, but I really don’t want to go & see someone not supportive of what I’ve already tried.


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boywish
January 29th, 2018, 07:35 PM
Spoke with him this morning - same as everyone else. Nice but couldn't give a timeframe on when he thinks he may have a response re legal advice. Now to determine if we want to go down HT path in US (and to find the funds) or try sway again..


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Poppy99
January 29th, 2018, 08:18 PM
Thanks for keeping us updated ladies!


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netti02
February 8th, 2018, 11:23 AM
A copy of my letter ladies. Ill illustrate in a covering letter concerns of depression, post natal depression etc that the council should consider also. Im going to email this next week. Ill also be writing additionally a follow up regarding the councils decisions etc


My first thoughts of having a family started somewhere when I was a child and in my teens. Thoughts of names I liked and where I wanted to live. How you want to build a life with a future partner, raising sons and daughters. The names I like and where I want to live changed with time, however the dream of raising sons and daughters has always remained a constant. My journey in motherhood began in 2005 when I had my first son. I was excited to be able to give my then fiancé a son, to share wonderful experiences and a bond for life. I often thought about future children and had high hopes a daughter would be able to join us at a later date as it had always been a dream of mine since I could remember. I began tertiary studies the following year after he was born and life became busy for a while. A diagnosis and some poor recommendation from a health specialist, seen us expecting our second baby in August of 2008. I remember feeling extremely anxious in the lead up to the anatomy ultrasound as me and my fiancé had only discussed having two children. I felt the pressure from society to have the ‘pigeon pair’, with many constantly asking me if we knew what we were having. We were told during the anatomy scan we were having a boy. Everything appeared well and whilst that was a relief, I remember the sadness I felt that my dream was finally over. Telling people we were expecting another boy was laced with apprehension as I felt I had to do my best to hide my disappointment in that I would never have a daughter. People would always add comments though, such as ‘next time it will be a girl’, ‘at least you can reuse all those clothes’, and while they thought they were being helpful with their comments, they didn’t realise how detrimental they actually were. Life became busier again as I finished my degree, began working and saving for our first home. The boys were getting older and growing up quickly with one getting ready for big school. We finally got married in 2012 on our 10th anniversary. At the time I was working in a large, metropolitan hospital and struggling with shift work and the kids. In October 2012 I changed jobs to a more stabilised roster and worked regular, permanent night shifts at a large residential aged care facility. This allowed that dream to flutter to the surface again and a brand new hope blossomed of that dream finally coming true. Not long after we were married, we were due in November 2013. I remember all too well the anxiety that bubbled up again and started to take hold and consume me. I started paying more attention to the family dynamics around me when I was out. I would see a family of 2 boys and a girl and hold out hope. I’d also see the mum of 3 boys and my heart would be in knots. We went to our anatomy scan holding onto this hope like a lifeline. I was already dreading the comments if we were having another boy. Not long through our scan I could see the telltale boy signs without even being told. My heart dropped. Having any more kids after this meant a bigger car, a bigger house, so this was it. I didn’t acknowledge my feelings of gender disappointment at this time. I swallowed them, for fear of being judged and ridiculed. I made sure I smiled when people commented, like it didn’t matter and I wasn’t bothered. I listened to people tell me over and over ‘as long as it’s healthy’, ‘think of all the money you will save’, ‘at least you know what to do with a boy’, ‘at least you won’t have to worry about a girl in the teenage years’, like these words were meant to offer some comfort. They didn’t realise how wrong they were. After our son was born in November, there was a questionable age difference between him and my second son. My second son was about to start school in 2014 and I started thinking how the youngest might become lonely and need a friend which fuelled the possibility that this time, it would be a girl. We found out we were due in February 2015. All the anxieties crept back and were in full force when we found out it was another boy. We faced the same comments that felt like they were on repeat and I bravely smiled through them all even though my heart was breaking. The thing that kept me strong was a little flicker of hope deep in my heart that my dream still may come true one day. That’s when an enormous amount of guilt started to weave in with the anxiety and I turned to emotional eating to comfort my heart. I talked to no one of how I felt, too ashamed, too angry, too guilty and heartbroken, I kept it all inside, even from my husband. We purchased a new car and after some consideration approached a real estate about selling as the market at the time was favourable. A few weeks before we were due, the house was on the market. We sold a week before I gave birth and purchased a new home a few weeks later. We would learn that our son had congenital hearing loss. Whilst initially shocked and in disbelief, we were determined to ensure the best for him. The comments continued, ‘will you try for a girl next’, ‘next time it will be a girl’, ‘you need to have a girl’ and ‘think of all the money and trouble you will save’. Once again people believed these words offered some form of comfort yet they couldn’t be more wrong. After settling into the new house, I started researching the internet to find some hope as I was all out. I found information suggesting different diets, positions, timing and supplements. Not 100% convinced, I also had a few psychic readings. It was during this time I found a safe place online to discuss my feelings and it was refreshing being able to talk with others about a desire for a son or daughter without ridicule and hearing the same, repetitive comments. Hope started to build again in my heart but the bigger problem was convincing my husband. Sometime during the middle of 2015, I finally broke down and told him everything. It wasn’t just another child I hoped for, but a daughter. He understood completely how I felt yet he was understandingly apprehensive. From the financial aspects and the fact our last son was born with a congenital issue were his biggest fears. He too started mentioning about the comments from others which truthfully, hadn’t ever really stopped. (I struggle to this day to understand how people can be so intrusive with questions into other people’s reproductive lives. If we want to share that information we will, without having to ask). We found out we were expecting in July 2016. Once again the anxiety peaked in full force, laced with guilt, depression and a little hope. Something about this pregnancy felt different though. I had high hopes this was it, it was finally our daughter, so much so that I even purchased some girl items. The comments continued yet smiling and acting nonchalant was getting harder and harder. At our early ultrasound, once again without being told, I could see in fact it was boy number 5. Not crying in that ultrasound room was the hardest thing. To keep smiling through the scan knowing my heart was breaking was the hardest. The guilt hit after that. The self-berating. The comfort eating. Then I waited for all the comments and as expected, they came. It wasn’t just about gender now, it was the number of children too. The comment I took the hardest during that pregnancy was ‘a son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life’. I’ve never hated a saying as much in all my life. I tried to be happy after he was born. Tried to talk my ovaries into retirement. Tried to forget just how much my heart ached and longed for our daughter. Tried to convince myself anymore kids was a car upgrade- everyone else reminded us that we would need a bus. (I should have reminded them how they need filters, or lives or superglue, maybe their own business…..). The comments continued, ‘Are you pregnant?’, ‘Will you have anymore?’ or ‘Will you try for a girl’. People didn’t understand how much my husband and I were hurting. How much I was trying to process my feelings and move on. One night we had friends over. The female mentioned to her partner to ensure that ‘He doesn’t do that to her’, in reference of me having 5 boys. I had to take a breather at that moment and spend 5 minutes in the toilet crying to myself, feeling like a failure and some inadequate female because I didn’t have a daughter- surely there are worse things in this world. I found the easiest way to manage this was avoidance. Social outings abolished. Family events eradicated. The way to protect my heart was to not go out and get it trampled on at all. I begged my husband with ******s of tears coming from my eyes, just one last time. Hope crept back in from another psychic prediction, a different method to try. I didn’t tell anyone we were having another baby, not until we at least knew what we were having, protecting my heart was my priority. We got our ‘bus’, one less thing for people to mention to us. This pregnancy started to feel different, I started to feel a little hopeful. We had an early ultrasound booked at 14 weeks. It was early however I couldn’t take the anxiety any longer and gender would only be confirmed if 100% certain. I hoped with everything I would finally hear something different in that ultrasound room, finally I would be able to shut people up once and for all. After baby being a little tricky, the technician stated it was a boy. Once again the struggle to hold my emotions and remain composed during the scan was becoming too much. A few tears escaped, could be easily mistaken for tears of joy, not of loss. My breaths started coming faster and ragged for what felt like a panic attack. I looked over at my husband and could see the sadness and disappointment on his face. I cried for 2 days after that. I cried like I had lost someone. Somewhere between there and now, I’ve picked myself up, tried to take a day at a time. Tried to process my feelings, validate them as real and meaningful despite what others might think. I’ve skirted around the issue of the baby’s gender with the few that know, not confirming, just that we think it’s a boy. Unlike other times, there’s been no special social media post about our new arrival on the way. Just silence. I didn’t realise the lengths I would need to go to, to protect my own heart from people who I thought I could believe in and trust. What should be a special time in our lives is spoiled from the rude comments of others, whether it be the child’s gender or the number of children we do have. After he is born the comments will come. From all we’ve heard before including, ‘better give up now’, ‘another boy’, ‘going for a football team’, ‘People will think you’re on welfare’ and ‘better tie a knot in it now’. I’m sure there will be people still offering their ‘wisdom’ of what to try for a girl. The best part is, come April, I’ll have a lovely newborn son to cuddle and raise along with his brothers. I’ll always hold onto hope my dream will come true, for what is life without a dream, without hope. Until then, I’ll hold my head high, raise handsome, caring sons and not pay attention to the ignorance of others.

Mamma to 6 boys, dreaming of pink one day

emshe
February 25th, 2018, 09:01 PM
Did anyone who submitted to the NHRMC study get an email from the NHRMC asking if they'd consent to being contacted by Flinders University and University of South Australia?

emshe
February 25th, 2018, 09:04 PM
A copy of my letter ladies. Ill illustrate in a covering letter concerns of depression, post natal depression etc that the council should consider also. Im going to email this next week. Ill also be writing additionally a follow up regarding the councils decisions etc


My first thoughts of having a family started somewhere when I was a child and in my teens. Thoughts of names I liked and where I wanted to live. How you want to build a life with a future partner, raising sons and daughters. The names I like and where I want to live changed with time, however the dream of raising sons and daughters has always remained a constant. My journey in motherhood began in 2005 when I had my first son. I was excited to be able to give my then fiancé a son, to share wonderful experiences and a bond for life. I often thought about future children and had high hopes a daughter would be able to join us at a later date as it had always been a dream of mine since I could remember. I began tertiary studies the following year after he was born and life became busy for a while. A diagnosis and some poor recommendation from a health specialist, seen us expecting our second baby in August of 2008. I remember feeling extremely anxious in the lead up to the anatomy ultrasound as me and my fiancé had only discussed having two children. I felt the pressure from society to have the ‘pigeon pair’, with many constantly asking me if we knew what we were having. We were told during the anatomy scan we were having a boy. Everything appeared well and whilst that was a relief, I remember the sadness I felt that my dream was finally over. Telling people we were expecting another boy was laced with apprehension as I felt I had to do my best to hide my disappointment in that I would never have a daughter. People would always add comments though, such as ‘next time it will be a girl’, ‘at least you can reuse all those clothes’, and while they thought they were being helpful with their comments, they didn’t realise how detrimental they actually were. Life became busier again as I finished my degree, began working and saving for our first home. The boys were getting older and growing up quickly with one getting ready for big school. We finally got married in 2012 on our 10th anniversary. At the time I was working in a large, metropolitan hospital and struggling with shift work and the kids. In October 2012 I changed jobs to a more stabilised roster and worked regular, permanent night shifts at a large residential aged care facility. This allowed that dream to flutter to the surface again and a brand new hope blossomed of that dream finally coming true. Not long after we were married, we were due in November 2013. I remember all too well the anxiety that bubbled up again and started to take hold and consume me. I started paying more attention to the family dynamics around me when I was out. I would see a family of 2 boys and a girl and hold out hope. I’d also see the mum of 3 boys and my heart would be in knots. We went to our anatomy scan holding onto this hope like a lifeline. I was already dreading the comments if we were having another boy. Not long through our scan I could see the telltale boy signs without even being told. My heart dropped. Having any more kids after this meant a bigger car, a bigger house, so this was it. I didn’t acknowledge my feelings of gender disappointment at this time. I swallowed them, for fear of being judged and ridiculed. I made sure I smiled when people commented, like it didn’t matter and I wasn’t bothered. I listened to people tell me over and over ‘as long as it’s healthy’, ‘think of all the money you will save’, ‘at least you know what to do with a boy’, ‘at least you won’t have to worry about a girl in the teenage years’, like these words were meant to offer some comfort. They didn’t realise how wrong they were. After our son was born in November, there was a questionable age difference between him and my second son. My second son was about to start school in 2014 and I started thinking how the youngest might become lonely and need a friend which fuelled the possibility that this time, it would be a girl. We found out we were due in February 2015. All the anxieties crept back and were in full force when we found out it was another boy. We faced the same comments that felt like they were on repeat and I bravely smiled through them all even though my heart was breaking. The thing that kept me strong was a little flicker of hope deep in my heart that my dream still may come true one day. That’s when an enormous amount of guilt started to weave in with the anxiety and I turned to emotional eating to comfort my heart. I talked to no one of how I felt, too ashamed, too angry, too guilty and heartbroken, I kept it all inside, even from my husband. We purchased a new car and after some consideration approached a real estate about selling as the market at the time was favourable. A few weeks before we were due, the house was on the market. We sold a week before I gave birth and purchased a new home a few weeks later. We would learn that our son had congenital hearing loss. Whilst initially shocked and in disbelief, we were determined to ensure the best for him. The comments continued, ‘will you try for a girl next’, ‘next time it will be a girl’, ‘you need to have a girl’ and ‘think of all the money and trouble you will save’. Once again people believed these words offered some form of comfort yet they couldn’t be more wrong. After settling into the new house, I started researching the internet to find some hope as I was all out. I found information suggesting different diets, positions, timing and supplements. Not 100% convinced, I also had a few psychic readings. It was during this time I found a safe place online to discuss my feelings and it was refreshing being able to talk with others about a desire for a son or daughter without ridicule and hearing the same, repetitive comments. Hope started to build again in my heart but the bigger problem was convincing my husband. Sometime during the middle of 2015, I finally broke down and told him everything. It wasn’t just another child I hoped for, but a daughter. He understood completely how I felt yet he was understandingly apprehensive. From the financial aspects and the fact our last son was born with a congenital issue were his biggest fears. He too started mentioning about the comments from others which truthfully, hadn’t ever really stopped. (I struggle to this day to understand how people can be so intrusive with questions into other people’s reproductive lives. If we want to share that information we will, without having to ask). We found out we were expecting in July 2016. Once again the anxiety peaked in full force, laced with guilt, depression and a little hope. Something about this pregnancy felt different though. I had high hopes this was it, it was finally our daughter, so much so that I even purchased some girl items. The comments continued yet smiling and acting nonchalant was getting harder and harder. At our early ultrasound, once again without being told, I could see in fact it was boy number 5. Not crying in that ultrasound room was the hardest thing. To keep smiling through the scan knowing my heart was breaking was the hardest. The guilt hit after that. The self-berating. The comfort eating. Then I waited for all the comments and as expected, they came. It wasn’t just about gender now, it was the number of children too. The comment I took the hardest during that pregnancy was ‘a son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life’. I’ve never hated a saying as much in all my life. I tried to be happy after he was born. Tried to talk my ovaries into retirement. Tried to forget just how much my heart ached and longed for our daughter. Tried to convince myself anymore kids was a car upgrade- everyone else reminded us that we would need a bus. (I should have reminded them how they need filters, or lives or superglue, maybe their own business…..). The comments continued, ‘Are you pregnant?’, ‘Will you have anymore?’ or ‘Will you try for a girl’. People didn’t understand how much my husband and I were hurting. How much I was trying to process my feelings and move on. One night we had friends over. The female mentioned to her partner to ensure that ‘He doesn’t do that to her’, in reference of me having 5 boys. I had to take a breather at that moment and spend 5 minutes in the toilet crying to myself, feeling like a failure and some inadequate female because I didn’t have a daughter- surely there are worse things in this world. I found the easiest way to manage this was avoidance. Social outings abolished. Family events eradicated. The way to protect my heart was to not go out and get it trampled on at all. I begged my husband with ******s of tears coming from my eyes, just one last time. Hope crept back in from another psychic prediction, a different method to try. I didn’t tell anyone we were having another baby, not until we at least knew what we were having, protecting my heart was my priority. We got our ‘bus’, one less thing for people to mention to us. This pregnancy started to feel different, I started to feel a little hopeful. We had an early ultrasound booked at 14 weeks. It was early however I couldn’t take the anxiety any longer and gender would only be confirmed if 100% certain. I hoped with everything I would finally hear something different in that ultrasound room, finally I would be able to shut people up once and for all. After baby being a little tricky, the technician stated it was a boy. Once again the struggle to hold my emotions and remain composed during the scan was becoming too much. A few tears escaped, could be easily mistaken for tears of joy, not of loss. My breaths started coming faster and ragged for what felt like a panic attack. I looked over at my husband and could see the sadness and disappointment on his face. I cried for 2 days after that. I cried like I had lost someone. Somewhere between there and now, I’ve picked myself up, tried to take a day at a time. Tried to process my feelings, validate them as real and meaningful despite what others might think. I’ve skirted around the issue of the baby’s gender with the few that know, not confirming, just that we think it’s a boy. Unlike other times, there’s been no special social media post about our new arrival on the way. Just silence. I didn’t realise the lengths I would need to go to, to protect my own heart from people who I thought I could believe in and trust. What should be a special time in our lives is spoiled from the rude comments of others, whether it be the child’s gender or the number of children we do have. After he is born the comments will come. From all we’ve heard before including, ‘better give up now’, ‘another boy’, ‘going for a football team’, ‘People will think you’re on welfare’ and ‘better tie a knot in it now’. I’m sure there will be people still offering their ‘wisdom’ of what to try for a girl. The best part is, come April, I’ll have a lovely newborn son to cuddle and raise along with his brothers. I’ll always hold onto hope my dream will come true, for what is life without a dream, without hope. Until then, I’ll hold my head high, raise handsome, caring sons and not pay attention to the ignorance of others.

Mamma to 6 boys, dreaming of pink one day

Netti, I dont know how I missed this. You lovely are amazing, you have such strength. I hope you are doing well?

netti02
February 25th, 2018, 09:58 PM
Did anyone who submitted to the NHRMC study get an email from the NHRMC asking if they'd consent to being contacted by Flinders University and University of South Australia?I wasn't aware there was a study- was this around ivf with pgd? Maybe they are looking at publishing the results.

Mamma to 6 boys, dreaming of pink one day

emshe
February 26th, 2018, 03:07 AM
I wasn't aware there was a study- was this around ivf with pgd? Maybe they are looking at publishing the results.

Mamma to 6 boys, dreaming of pink one day

Sorry my wording may be wrong, it was when they did the review that I submitted after reading about it on here I think it was back in 2015/16 they took submissions from the public to help with their conclusion.

Now unis are asking people who did those submissions if they’d be willing participate in their ethics study of the situation.


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grace03
February 26th, 2018, 04:08 AM
Sorry my wording may be wrong, it was when they did the review that I submitted after reading about it on here I think it was back in 2015/16 they took submissions from the public to help with their conclusion.

Now unis are asking people who did those submissions if they’d be willing participate in their ethics study of the situation.


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I’m in Australia and submitted and I got an email , so did everyone in the gs Australia fb group who submitted , hopefully that means the SA government is thinking about changing is law ? Too late for me but I hope it helps others so I’ll probably say yes :)


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emshe
February 26th, 2018, 04:33 AM
I’m in Australia and submitted and I got an email , so did everyone in the gs Australia fb group who submitted , hopefully that means the SA government is thinking about changing is law ? Too late for me but I hope it helps others so I’ll probably say yes :)


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So happy to see you have fulfilled your dream grace03!

grace03
March 1st, 2018, 04:45 AM
So happy to see you have fulfilled your dream grace03!

Thanks hun ! nearly 20 weeks!

frankie2017
March 8th, 2018, 04:11 PM
Thanks hun ! nearly 20 weeks!

Hi grace, I see you went to Cyprus for your cycle - do you mind if I ask how much it cost all up?


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Unicorn
May 8th, 2018, 02:23 AM
Sorry for digging up an old thread but is there any movement on this? I can’t believe they haven’t found a loophole yet. :(

frankie2017
May 8th, 2018, 03:48 AM
Sorry for digging up an old thread but is there any movement on this? I can’t believe they haven’t found a loophole yet. :(

I haven’t seen anything new mentioned since April 2017. Anyone want to give the qld clinic a call? Prob not much has happened [emoji20]


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bradsp
May 13th, 2018, 01:49 AM
Hi all, I haven't researched the Australian position in any detail, but my instinct is that it will require a Labor government to make any changes to the existing law against GS. The Liberals have the conservative wing that would never allow it. So we hold out some hope for a change in 2019, but not sure we're prepared to wait and hope... overseas, here we come

newtosite
September 2nd, 2018, 06:04 AM
Hi all,

Has there been any further updates from Dr Molloy's rooms about any legal loopholes for GS in QLD?

Thanks in advance.