Hello! Need advice please :)

[dreamofdaughter]

Hi everyone!

I am new to this site. I would like to try for a pink bundle after a boy (who is the light of my life). I see my diet was very boy-friendly before...lots of bananas, potatoes, red meat, cereal. I didn't dtd near Ov so I am not really convinced timing has much influence.

So far I have cut out cereal, I don't eat until 10 or 11 am (usually 11 am), no red meat, I am slowly weaning off caffeine, down to half cup a day. I didn't eat a lot of salt before but now I am severely restricting it. I haven't managed to add the hour of exercise in per day but I am hoping to start running everyday when next month. I don't plan on trying until April.

I don't know my pH yet. I tried to check it but it didn't register on the test strips. My husband is on board - he is cutting out coffee. I don't know if he will give up red meat except maybe the month we try. And he will take the supplements if I ask.

What do the woman who can't consume dairy do to get a girl? I have a severe casein allergy and can't touch milk or yogurt etc. I don't know if I should even attempt for a girl if diet is such a huge factor...what do you think? Will the calcium supplements be enough? I drink mostly almond milk and eat kale to get calcium.

[MiaMelb]

Hi and welcome,

Sounds like you've already made some good changes, dropping the red meat, cereal etc.

You will find that since we've tracked our results over time and have many women who have been around swaying for years that we've learnt a lot and moved on from some of the old school sway tactics.

The ones you mentioned that come to mind are the salt, we've given up on the idea that it sways, no need to limit it just have it as normal to season.
Caffeine, we've actually found coffee a very good sway tactic for pink. Myself as a blue swayer am actually in the process of giving it up because it's got such good results for pink.
Most women here don't test pH anymore, we haven't found it to be very helpful for swaying and the acid/alkaline diet is not really followed here either.
Almond milk should be good for a pink sway too. Blue swayers are discouraged from drinking milk replacers such as this after we've seem lots of blue swayers drinking almond milk actually have girls.
Finally think pink swayers are generally taking very few supps these days, sure they'll confirm shortly, think it's just folic/folate and fiber from memory.

GL

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: timing doesn't work, science has proved 50-50 boys and girls conceived every day of the cycle.

You do not need to give up caffeine. In fact, coffee has been an outstanding pink sway tactic for us.

pH is another largely debunked tactic. We had so many testing opposites (people whose pH was different than the gender of the baby they conceived) that it has become impossible for me to believe in that any more. I personally got a boy with "girl" pH and didn't even bother testing when I got my girl.

Don't worry about the dairy. The idea that dairy sways pink is biologically impossible (75% of all people worldwide can't drink milk and many cultures have no dairy foods in their cuisine at all, yet the gender ratio is 50-50 wherever we go) I got 4 boys drinking/eating tons of dairy foods and gave them up to get my girl. If you MUST do the calcium (and again, I got boys doing this and gave it up to get my girl) do JUST calcium supps, no dairy, no vitamin D with them - even if you have to just use Tums.

Almond milk has swayed pink for us!! We used to use it for blue sways but we saw so many girl opposites conceived to the blue swayers who were drinking the most almond milk that we no longer use it at all for blue sways. keep drinking that almond milk!

Kale is fine and is in fact a free and unlimited food on LE Diet, have as much as you want, don't even need to count totals.

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: fiber and folic acid or folate is what most pink swayers are doing.

We have found the supplements do not work and have caused tons of side effects for people. We've moved away from them and our results have only gone up!

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks for the help! I will give up the supplements then. I didn't know about fiber but doesn't that conflict with no whole wheat and more white rice/pasta? Because white rice and pasta are not high fiber foods. I take folic acid but I will double my dose to 800mcg.

So, I assume most pink swayers mostly just do an LE diet to conceive a girl? And a lot of cardio. I worry a bit about losing too much weight as I am quite thin already. The first month I think I went too hard on the diet and lost too much too fast and I don't think I ovulated because my period was extremely heavy and I read that can be the result of no ovulation (no corpus luteum producing progesterone to tell estrogen to ease up or something like that???). Anyway, the next month I ate more calories (still skipped breakfast though) and my cycle was normal flow. But now I have put that weight back on so maybe I should still try to lose a couple of pounds? I am 5'3 and about 110 lbs.

I am wondering how do women know from the U/S that they ovulated on a particular day? So, for example, when I thought I was 9 weeks pregnant with my son, the tech said I was 9weeks 2 days. So does that mean I ovulated on day 12? And how do you figure out your LP length? So I have a 28 day cycle and I normally get a surge (using the LH strips, my line is darker than the control) around day 10. Is that bad for conceiving a girl? I am not sure what to do in terms of timing our one attempt.

[atomic sagebrush]

We started off worrying about whole grain stuff but over time it has not seemed to matter and may even possibly be a better thing for some swayers than white.

Fiber has nothing to do with "whole grain" anything anyway. The reason we worried about whole grain was because it had more nutrients, not because it has fiber. But it hasn't seemed to matter much if at all anyway.

You can't tell if you ovulated on the basis of having a heavy period. Lots of other explanations all of which are more likely.
WEre you taking any supplements like cranberry or baby aspirin? Those can make heavy periods.

You are already in the "hold steady on weight" BMI category. No more weight loss.

It depends on when you have the ultrasound. if you have it right around ovulation you can tell based on that. Later ultrasounds are less reliable but during the first tri, the tech uses the size/development level of the baby to know how far along you are - babies tend to follow a pretty specific developmental timeline with little variation from that early on. But even then they are not 100% accurate. So you might have ovulated CD 12 that month (totally normal) and that would also mesh with when you ahve been getting your positive OPK - surge on CD 10 would often end up being O on CD 12, although you can't reliably use past cycles to tell you what future cycles would be. No, it is not bad for conceiving a girl. It's completely normal. 28 day cycles are usually O on CD 14, though. So if you're getting AF on CD 28 then the odds are good that you're actually Oing more like CD 14. LP are much less variable than FP.

To have one attempt I generally have people DTD at first positive OPK. So I'd probably try that at first. I hesitate for you to have attempt like on cD 13 because if you do O CD 12, you'd miss it.

[atomic sagebrush]

We started off worrying about whole grain stuff but over time it has not seemed to matter and may even possibly be a better thing for some swayers than white.

Fiber has nothing to do with "whole grain" anything anyway. The reason we worried about whole grain was because it had more nutrients, not because it has fiber. But it hasn't seemed to matter much if at all anyway.

You can't tell if you ovulated on the basis of having a heavy period. Lots of other explanations all of which are more likely.
WEre you taking any supplements like cranberry or baby aspirin? Those can make heavy periods.

You are already in the "hold steady on weight" BMI category. No more weight loss.

It depends on when you have the ultrasound. if you have it right around ovulation you can tell based on that. Later ultrasounds are less reliable but during the first tri, the tech uses the size/development level of the baby to know how far along you are - babies tend to follow a pretty specific developmental timeline with little variation from that early on. But even then they are not 100% accurate. So you might have ovulated CD 12 that month (totally normal) and that would also mesh with when you ahve been getting your positive OPK - surge on CD 10 would often end up being O on CD 12, although you can't reliably use past cycles to tell you what future cycles would be. No, it is not bad for conceiving a girl. It's completely normal. 28 day cycles are usually O on CD 14, though. So if you're getting AF on CD 28 then the odds are good that you're actually Oing more like CD 14. LP are much less variable than FP.

To have one attempt I generally have people DTD at first positive OPK. So I'd probably try that at first. I hesitate for you to have attempt like on cD 13 because if you do O CD 12, you'd miss it.

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks so much, atomic! I appreciate your detailed reply. I was on cranberry supplements and was drinking cranberry juice when I had the heavy period. I stopped them and now just drink the cranberry juice maybe once or twice a day.

I am pretty sure my ovulation is still around the same time give or take a day. The reason being I dtd with my son on cd 11 and conceived that month, first try (age 38).

This month:

day 10, first surge at 7pm (mind you I was only testing every 24 hrs so I don't know if it might have been positive earlier)
day 11, felt a twinge on my left side at around 11am, Ovulation maybe??
day 11, still showing OPK+ at 6pm
day 12, I *think* OPK still looks positive! Is this a concern? Shouldn't it have dropped by now? My CM is definitely creamy and not as abundant

I am concerned because I read that ovulation earlier than day 12 is not considered good. Anything I can do to delay Ov? If I ovulate on day 11, that means my LP is 16-17 days because my cycle starts day 28 (last month was day 27 though). I am curious to see when my MC starts this month given OPK+ was day 10.

I am also worried a bit that the high carb is making me a little polycystic because I keep getting twinges on both sides early on in my cycle and this hasn't happened before. I used to periodically get cysts on my ovaries but I am not overweight, I don't have irregular cycles and I have had my testosterone levels checked before, they were normal. I definitely lost stomach fat the first month when I dropped calories - I have put some of that fat back on since I stopped, essentially, starving myself. Is it possible to be slightly PC but not have any symptoms other than the lower abdomen twinges?

I plan on getting blood work done next cycle with a ND. I don't dare go to a regular MD because I am afraid they will shame me for being over 40 and TTC. :(

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks for the detailed reply, atomic!

I am reposting this as I don't know what happened to my reply...sorry if you end up seeing something similar twice as I don't have the exact post that I submitted so I am kind of going by memory.

I *was* taking cranberry supplements and drinking cranberry juice the month I had my heavy period so that does make sense. I have stopped the supplements and just drink the juice, maybe 5 cups a week. Also, that month I was drinking A LOT of peppermint tea. Would that have affected anything in terms of shortening my LP? My MC started at 26 days that month instead of my normal 28.

Last month was more normal re: flow and it started at 27 days so I am hoping I am moving back to a normal cycle. I do feel the sudden shock to my body messed with my cycle.

I do think that my Ov has been fairly consistent over the years give or take a day or two. One pregnancy (that I lost) I conceived by DTD on day 11 (after getting a positive OPK) and I conceived that month which was my first try. Then with my son, I DTD on day 9 and thought I was safe but he surprised me and I highly doubt the sperm could have survived to day 14? That seems unlikely given I was 38 at the time (though DH is several years younger than me).

I do wonder if a positive OPK on day 10 is bad for conception, in general, not just for a girl. Because I read that ovulating before day 12 isn't good as the egg isn't mature enough. Is there anyway I can delay my Ov?

This month:
- day 10, 7pm, first OPK+ (but I was only checking ever 24 hrs so maybe it would have been + earlier?)
- day 11, 6 pm, OPK+
- day 11, 11 am, felt a slight twinge in my left side that I assumed was Ov pain??
- day 12, 9 am, OPK still positive! But, my CM had definitely shifted to less abundant and more tacky though it was still somewhat clear, not yet gone creamy.
- day 12, 4 pm, OPK lines look about the same colour

Is OPK supposed to stay positive for so long? Next month I will use digital tests to be sure. I was using the one that have two lines to compare.

Also, is it possible to have PCOS but not show symptoms other than cysts? Because this month, I felt like I had a couple twinges on both sides of my lower abdomen from end of AF to Ov. I am not overweight, I don't have excessive facial hair, I have very regular periods but I have, historically, had cysts on my ovaries periodically. I do intend to see a ND to get bloodwork done next cycle to see what is going on. I would see my MD but I think he will frown on me trying to conceive because I am over 40 and I do think negativity impacts getting pregnant a lot.

[dreamofdaughter]

One other question, we are planning a trip to Mexico before we TTC. I just read Vit d sways boy...ugh...is there a way to get rid of the Vit D I absorb on holiday? I know it is stored in fat so if I exercise a lot after we get back, would this help? I feel frustrated because I do not want to TTC next month (just missed this month) as it will mean I am 9 weeks pregnant (if successful) when we fly which I feel is risky for a m/c. Any thoughts appreciated!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh sometimes we have a glitch where I have to manually approve a post and so your first post was just needing me to approve it. Sorry for inconvenience!

:agree: giving up the cran supps. They haven't worked anyway and really do make some pretty wicked side effects.

Cranberry juice does nothing. Since we know cranberry supplements, which are far more concentrated than the juice, do not work, it is impossible that the juice does. I would drop that too becuase you're only adding nutrients you don't need for no benefit to your sway.

Re Peppermint tea, yes absolutely that can make short LP and we have almost totally given that up for women over 35 as I saw such poor odds of conceiving. Plus, it also doesn't work.

You can't tell when you ovualted on the basis of O pains. For everyone it seems to work for, there are 10 others who it didn't work for so don't read too much into that. You may have ovulated then, you may not have.

Don't worry about the ovulation before CD 12. We have seen plenty of successful conceptions on cD 10/11 and like I said I"m not even sure you ovulated then anyway.

I would have any woman over 40 on the fertility diet anyway which is much lower in refined carbs and you can find that here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-a-girl-best-practices/1865-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-1-blood-sugar-issues.html?1865-Swaying-under-special-circumstances-Part-1-Blood-sugar-issues=

While I do want you to change diets, the twingey ovaries doesn't indicate PCO-tendencies. O pains are goofy things, you can just have them sometimes and not other times and there is really no conclusion to draw when you have them. The reason I want you to switch diets is age-related (and having had cysts in the past, also a good reason)

[atomic sagebrush]

One other question, we are planning a trip to Mexico before we TTC. I just read Vit d sways boy...ugh...is there a way to get rid of the Vit D I absorb on holiday? I know it is stored in fat so if I exercise a lot after we get back, would this help? I feel frustrated because I do not want to TTC next month (just missed this month) as it will mean I am 9 weeks pregnant (if successful) when we fly which I feel is risky for a m/c. Any thoughts appreciated!

Don't worry about the vacation. The Vit. D seems to be from supplements. People going out in the sun do not seem to have the strong blue sway effects that people taking the supplements have. NO you should not exercise a lot after you get back. We can't undo or compensate for things, all we can do is just do what works for most people most of the time.

[atomic sagebrush]

a few more questions in other post:

I am pretty sure your cycle was goofy due to the peppermint tea so since that is gone, it's great that we are seeing a return to normalcy.

I too have a pregnancy that I got from what had to be a pretty long cutoff. I suspect you probably Oed earlier than you think.

OPK on CD 10 is well within normal range, people get that all the time. Sometimes you'll O on CD 13 or even beyond after getting a pos OPK on CD 10! You can't tell on that basis, when you'll ovulate. And like I mention, CD 11 is entirely possible to conceive on that day.

You can't tell when you ovulate based on when your OPK go negative. You can have a short surge, tests go negative but still don't ovulate for a while after, or you can have tests that stay positive even a day or two after O. The test only detects the hormone in your pee, and not whether or not you Oed. Some people do get positive OPK for days, others only a few hours. It's all very individualized.

Yes, you can have tendencies towards PCOS but your lifestyle just doesn't support it. It's not a "disease" per se, it's often caused by a high carb diet, not exercising, and being overweight. IT's believed that as many as 75% of us have the tendency if our lifestyle supported it strongly enough. So do switch over to the alternate diet I posted for you, it will only help in any event.

MD's are getting much better about moms over 40. So many of us (myself included) had healthy, normal, easy and uncomplicated pregnancies at 40 and up. I had my last child at 42 and it was easier than my pregnancy and birth at 21!! So don't assume they'll be negative, they may not be.

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks for this help, atomic. I appreciate it. I think I will need to get a personal plan because I feel like now I am eating all the wrong things based on the link you sent me. Like, I've been eating lots of durum wheat pasta, white bread and white rice. I have noticed my belly actually looks a little more "pot-belly" than it did when I went hard core and basically starved myself for the first month - I don't look bigger anywhere else and my weight hasn't gone up, but that could be because of the cardio. So, I would really like some help getting this right, especially given my dairy allergy, but doesn't sound like it's that great for a girl sway anyway! I actually have huge bags under my eyes the last couple of weeks and I felt like "ok my body does not like this food!". I have no issue skipping breakfast until 11 am. My body has adjusted (the first few days were tough!) and can cope with a half-decaf coffee in the morning and that is it. I do feel I need something to drink in the morning otherwise I can't wait until 11 to eat. So I am hoping one half-caff coffee is ok. I was a big coffee drinker when I conceived DS (but I also never let myself go too long without eating and I was a huge granola cereal fan - one bowl, maybe 2 a day!)

I honestly am not one to monitor my pH or DH pH (nothing against people who do! I just find it really stressful for me) or load myself full of artificial sweeteners given my age. At the end of the day, I would like a healthy child (but ideally a daughter ;)).

I will touch base asap with my PP payment (once I run it past DH - isn't not being the "alpha" supposed to get me a girl?! :))

[dreamofdaughter]

I saw my ND. She wants me to take CoQ10 because of my age and to protect the eggs I do have. Is this ok? Does it sway? She also suggested a prenatal (I won't take until BFP because of it swaying boy), omegas (which I think I should not actually take because they sway boy, right? And I already do eat fish a couple times a week, small amounts though), Selenium (no idea if this sways?) and methylated folate (I hope I got that right) which I definitely will take - she doesn't want me taking folic acid. I don't understand why we are told to take folic acid when more natural doctors don't like it??

Which is the best plan to get? I need a personalized one, I know that given I am over 40 and have food restrictions. Sorry to be dense, I don't entirely understand the differences between the plans. :| Any help appreciated!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for this help, atomic. I appreciate it. I think I will need to get a personal plan because I feel like now I am eating all the wrong things based on the link you sent me. Like, I've been eating lots of durum wheat pasta, white bread and white rice. I have noticed my belly actually looks a little more "pot-belly" than it did when I went hard core and basically starved myself for the first month - I don't look bigger anywhere else and my weight hasn't gone up, but that could be because of the cardio. So, I would really like some help getting this right, especially given my dairy allergy, but doesn't sound like it's that great for a girl sway anyway! I actually have huge bags under my eyes the last couple of weeks and I felt like "ok my body does not like this food!". I have no issue skipping breakfast until 11 am. My body has adjusted (the first few days were tough!) and can cope with a half-decaf coffee in the morning and that is it. I do feel I need something to drink in the morning otherwise I can't wait until 11 to eat. So I am hoping one half-caff coffee is ok. I was a big coffee drinker when I conceived DS (but I also never let myself go too long without eating and I was a huge granola cereal fan - one bowl, maybe 2 a day!)

I honestly am not one to monitor my pH or DH pH (nothing against people who do! I just find it really stressful for me) or load myself full of artificial sweeteners given my age. At the end of the day, I would like a healthy child (but ideally a daughter ;)).

I will touch base asap with my PP payment (once I run it past DH - isn't not being the "alpha" supposed to get me a girl?! :))

Let's see if the alternate diet clears up the bloating. It can for some people. If it gets worse we may want to switch over to no wheat at all.

Did we talk about coffee already? The idea that coffee sways blue has been totally debunked so if that's the reason why you were doing only one 1/2 caff coffee feel free to have more. We got 21 of 23 girls with people drinking 3 cups of coffee.

:agree: We aren't into the pH monitoring either after seeing soo many opposites with pH tests that it became impossible for me to believe it was doing anything.

I doubt artificial sweeteners do anything anyway.

Coq10 is fine, we use that with pink sways. :agree: wait to start prenatal till BFP, take folate now. Wait on Omegas till BFP as well. I'd just get a multi that has selenium in it as I find the selenium stand alone doses are sky high and could even be an overdose depending on how much a person ends up taking.

Most people can take folic acid just fine. it is also much, much cheaper. Folate is great if you can afford it, but I can't demand that everyone take folate as what will happen is that anyone who can't afford folate, will take NOTHING and folate and FA is the only nutrient supplement ever proven to prevent birth defects when taken prior to conception, I need people to take something. People who can take folic acid, great. People who need folate (minority) take folate. People who prefer to take folate just in case, and can afford it, also great. But everyone needs to be taking one or the other.

The plans that say "custom" or "personalized" all come with a custom/personalized plan. Then they vary by the amount of extra stuff that you want with it...the diet plan, the OPK/timing books, Dream Membership, etc. Just get whichever one seems to meet your needs better as long as it says Custom or Personalized on it, it will come with the personalized plan.

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks atomic! I think I was confused about coffee because the link you sent me re: swaying under special circumstances - blood sugar issues says: " Avoid white flour, sugar, simple carbohydrates, caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol. Rather than eating the foods listed in the suggested girl diet, instead choose lean protein sources such as chicken, nuts, eggs (it's still a good idea to avoid red meat), whole grains, and vegetables. Eat some protein and some carbs at every meal, but aim for smaller servings, 3 oz. of meat (the size of a deck of cards) will have plenty of protein in it. Avoid sodium and limit fat whenever you can, as long as your body tolerates it." So I wasn't sure about coffee. I will stick to my half caff in the morning and then just decaf after that. I can't drink a lot of caffeinated coffee as it makes me really jittery and stressed out.

Thanks for the note about folic acid. I looked at my bottle and it IS folate but it also contains B6 and B12. Ugh. Should I get just folate alone? B vitamins sway boy, correct?

Lastly, I am curious about the rates of twins for older women swaying pink? My ND scared me a bit and said my chance of twins is higher because I am over 40. But I would think pink swayers would not be more likely since we are trying to decrease fertility somewhat. Do you have somewhere of stats where pink swayers naturally conceived twins?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, that's straight advice for severe PCOS. I should probably go back and clarify that. On LE Diet (the PCOS type) we have removed enough of the bad carbs already so you can continue with coffee and the recommended amount of fat in the alt. diet (50-60 g) Sorry about that, those essays get written in stages.

Decaf probably works just as well for swaying anyway. :agree:

If you can find one that is just folate, that would be better. It's not only that the B6 and b12 may sway blue, it's that B6 can really mess up the menstrual cycle sometimes and end up delaying ovulation so I prefer people stay away from anything more than 100% (and those B complexes almost always have more than 100%)

You do have a higher risk of twinning over 40. For reasons we don't understand even without Clomid/Femara, our pink swayers do have a slightly higher rate of twins. We don't know if it's due to something we do for swaying or (more likely) if there is something inherent in women who have had mostly boys that makes them more likely to conceive twins. But most babies we get on this site are still singletons!

[dreamofdaughter]

Thank you atomic. I just ordered the TTC girl bundle with meal plan but I had to use my DH CC info as he gets a better exchange rate. :)

Also, I had my day 3 FSH tested and it is 8. I have not met back up with Dr to see what that means...

Looking forward to the meal plan! I think it will help me because I am struggling with what to eat.

[dreamofdaughter]

I have started craving coffee beans the last few days. Really randomly too, not necessarily if I am hungry. I suspect this is low iron. Do you think I should take an iron supplement or does it sway? I have cut out all red meat since November and I typically run a bit low on iron. I am trying to go vegetarian (but eat one egg 3-4 times a week) because I was having trouble not going over the protein amounts even if I stayed in limits of calories. Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

If you think you need it that is fine. 18-30 mg taken 3x a week. If you feel dramatically better (not just with the pica but overall in general, more energetic, stronger) then take it daily for 6 weeks then reduce dose to 3x a week again.