Anyone have no symptoms and things still be ok?

[Throwaway_panther]

6w1d (6w6d by LMP) today, which I know is early, but I'm still having barely any symptoms. Maybe 10 seconds of nausea here, or a brief spike of breast tenderness. HCG and progesterone are all good/high, and we saw "early cardiac activity" on a scan at 5w5d.

But I have been pregnant TEN times now! I had symptoms stronger at this point for all except that first loss, and I was so close to DD's birth with that pregnancy that it was easy to confuse my symptoms with postpartum stuff. I looked at my pregnancy diary with DD, and at this point with her I had strong food aversions, lots more fatigue and nausea, etc.

I know considering 8 of those pregnancies were losses, maybe something different is good. But I still feel so anxious. I think a lot of this was spurred by a.) a dream last night that I woke up from an emergency section to be told I had a girl and was so disappointed in the dream and b.) yesterday DH asked to come to the next scan, and that made me feel nervous we're jinxing it since he's taking this pregnancy more seriously since he "feels differently about it."

I knew I'd be a mess with any future pregnancy... but omg did I underestimate it!

[Ohdeer]

I had barely any symptoms with my sons. Occasional spikes like you describe but I didn’t feel pregnant for a very long time. The most I ever got was (several weeks in, more than you are now) occasional slight nausea on waking which was solved with a dry biscuit! All was fine :-)

[4blue2pink]

with my first baby i had horrific sickness 24/7 for 28 weeks straight, i was even waking up through the night and vomiting, no real symptoms except the sickness.

with #2 i only threw up 4 times in the first 18 weeks, then lost the baby and a midwife stupidly commented that "the sicker you are the better the outcome" must be true i thought as it certainly fitted my situation.

#3 i threw up once.. but other than that 1 time i never felt sick or anything else pregnancy related and fully expected to have another loss.. but went to 39+2 with a healthy live baby.

ive now had 8 pregnancies (my loss was number 2) and can honestly say that each time has varied, one very sick, some moderate and a couple not sick at all, my first 5 babies i didnt have sore boobs at all but with number 6,7 and 8 they have been progressively sorer with each pregnancy!! last time it was agony just taking my bra off!!

i know how hard it is not to worry, but right now your numbers are good and your scan findings sound very very positive and that (symptoms or no symptoms) really is the best that you can hope for at this point, its no guarantee i know but so far so good :) one day at a time :heart: i have everything crossed for you and this baby xx

[BunnyGirl19]

I had no symptons at all with my second until sometime in the second trimester. With my first I was only tired, nothing more. I’ve had the whole range of symptoms from nothing to full blown HG depending on the pregnancy.

[atomic sagebrush]

My mom never had any symptoms with any of her pregnancies (and repeatedly told me they were psychological, LOL - boy was I ever in for a surprise with my first!) I had strong symptoms with 3 of mine and minor ones with 2. Also, in two of my pregnancies with major symptoms (1st and 4th) I did not even realize I was pregnant for some time and do not recall having any symptoms early on - they set in later but the pregnancies were well underway by then. I also had mega symptoms with my pregnancy that ended in miscarriage.

I know it's impossible not to worry but the thing is, the good numbers and heartbeat are the things to take seriously. The symptoms just aren't as indicative of things. While no one ever wants to see strong symptoms suddenly go away (esp. when still in the first tri) not having strong symptoms isn't such a strong cause for concern (and even symptoms going away is not always a bad thing, either - no one panic,now!).

Thinking of you! :heart:

[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you all :( I know, having had strong symptoms with losses (and we have a good suspicion most of our losses were chromsomal), that having symptoms shouldn't make me feel better or worse. But I can't even go a few days now without stressing more! Every day pregnant is a day my heart goes more to this baby, even if they are a girl (which will gut me, too).

Can I just be in a coma until 40 weeks? :diaper:

[atomic sagebrush]

I know you know better than anyone - sorry I hope that did not come off as dismissive.

We are all rooting for you and praying/PT every day for a healthy baby (preferably blue!) :heart:

[ABC.2606]

TP - I think it's 100% normal and expected for you to be crazy with worry right now given your losses. You shouldn't feel remotely bad for feeling that way. I had very few symptoms (no m/s at all) this last pregnancy before my 7 week scan and I was very freaked out about it and I think some of the people I told about it thought I was just being paranoid. I had had OK early betas, progesterone was high, no bleeding, and even my DH too said that things felt different that time. But I had had two early losses just months before that pregnancy making me more paranoid and the lack of symptoms made me feel like something was wrong. Well, in my case, things were wrong. But who knows if the lack of symptoms was an actual indication of that or not - because of course, not having early symptoms does not always and probably most of the time does not mean something is wrong. But I don't feel bad about how worried I was about it because maybe my intuition really was preparing me for the worst.

BUT, one big difference for you that was not true in my situation is that you did have an early scan and the start of a heartbeat!!! When I went for my 7 week scan there wasn't anything close to a heartbeat - not even a fetal pole - just a small yolk sac measuring VERY far behind. I didn't have a scan before 6 weeks but I'm pretty confident there was never a heartbeat with that bub. So I think you have a much better start at this point then I had!

I know you've said this on here too but the symptoms thing is so strange. With DS2, I was nauseated, vomiting and felt miserable by 5 1/2 weeks. With DS1 though I didn't have any symptoms until 7-8 weeks. Also with him I had spotting off and on between weeks 5-8 (never figured out the cause). So I was a nervous wreck with him early on too but today he's my perfect little 5 year old :) Like atomic my mom had ZERO morning sickness with either of her two pregnancies (1 boy, 1 girl). And yet I ended up having quite a bit of m/s with both boys (it just started later with DS1). Who knows.

It sucks to worry so much but sadly for those of us who've gone through loss I think it's pretty much inevitable. Mamabird (I think it was Mamabird who said this...) said one time on here that going through losses really takes away the innocence of pregnancy and I totally think that is true. I feel like pregnancy has completely changed for me now after this past year & if I ever get pregnant with a healthy bub again I will feel exactly as you do - I'll want to be in a coma until 40 weeks!!!

In any case, I will be praying that you will be vomiting soon! (LOL - you understand of course I mean that in a positive way!). I prayed really hard for you around the time you O'd this time and will continue to do so until you're holding your healthy bub in your arms (and like atomic said hopefully it a boy bub!). We're rooting for you!!!

When is your next scan?

[Throwaway_panther]

No worries atomic, it didn't come off like that at all! I think I feel like I have to keep apologizing because I feel like I'm right back in the "posting a ton and needing constant external comments" like I did when I was pregnant with DD. I am annoyed with myself!

And ABC, you always say the things that make me tear up (in the good way!). It actually really means a lot to me that you've been praying for me! And maybe how stressed I was about ovulation should chill me out, since I was so stressed I hadn't even O'd haha -- and clearly I was wrong!

I think it's the loaded stress of both loss and GD -- they take turns for what takes precedence, and I hate that I still feel that way. I looked up Ramzis and convinced myself it is a girl since the scan looks similar to my DD's first scan and then I just felt worse and felt like the lack of symptoms or early boy OWT symptoms were cruel tricks!

The lack of innocence about pregnancy is so true. And I feel more despondent than I'd thought about gender, since it's been such agony to get to #2... how could I even go through this again to try for a boy for #3? And I feel like I'm relying on other people's intuition because I'm right back to not trusting myself. I tried to bargain with God/the universe before this pregnancy, too :( I said, "grant me a healthy boy, and I WILL give those frozen XXs a chance after." But I keep feeling like I didn't do enough sway wise now, and worry that me even worrying about the gender stuff will bite me in the ass if I miscarry :(

I'm a mess today haha. All from that damn dream. Maybe this is just a pregnancy symptom :hide:

[ABC.2606]

Yea the mix of GD & just worrying about the pregnancy sucks. I went into my 7 week ultrasound hoping to see baby on left side (even though I know ramzi has been debunked!) and that was SO much on my mind that it felt even more shocking when we got the bad news that there wouldn't even be a baby. It's hard dealing with both sets of feelings at once.

If it helps, I had a dream the other night that I gave birth to a boy and was really disappointed! But I'm not even pregnant LOL!!! I really think those dreams are just GD rearing it's ugly head again, and in your case not an indication of little bub's gender.

LOL as far as posting, I've been posting WAY too much on the tww board and feel like I'm getting really annoying so I'm trying to give it a breather now :) I get it! It's hard though with how intense this process is and for me at least there aren't really people IRL that I can talk about the ttc AND swaying thing to. And I'm an external processor so what do I do!!? LOL. :)

[Throwaway_panther]

And my scan of the early sac was on the left side :( ugh. I forgot to answer, too: my next scan is this Wednesday.

[ABC.2606]

I saw the pic and it looked like it was on the left side of the picture but doesn't that mean right side of your body? That's what I thought looking at the picture.

My friend who is pregnant showed me her 6 week pic & the yolk sac was on the left side of the picture and she is having a boy!

[Throwaway_panther]

I saw the pic and it looked like it was on the left side of the picture but doesn't that mean right side of your body? That's what I thought looking at the picture.

My friend who is pregnant showed me her 6 week pic & the yolk sac was on the left side of the picture and she is having a boy!

Ramzi always confused me, so I hope you're right haha. I never was clear on if they meant anatomical directions. DD's earliest scan was similar (though the sac looked way differently shaped, if that means anything haha), for where fetal pole was, though I guess sac was in a slightly different place? I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LOOKED UP RAMZI.

[ABC.2606]

I think it's supposed to be the mirror image of the picture.. like if you hold the pic up to your body what looks like it's left in the pic would actually be on the right side of the body.

But atomic should probably come in and tell us that Ramzi doesn't work anyways so that neither of us get caught up in it haha!! I feel like I get caught up on stuff like that too!! Today at my follicle ultrasound my biggest follicle was on the left side and I got all excited thinking I'll ovulate from the left and that will be better chance for a girl (even though I know that's also not true!). Ahhhhh what GD does to you :)

[LMSM]

TP, first off, so happy to see you had a positive scan, that is so encouraging..FX that next scan is just as good!
Ditto to what has been said, I wouldn’t (and as difficult as it is not to read into’ every single detail!) put too much stock into symptoms or lack thereof...both my successful and unsuccessful pregnancies I had strong symptoms’ from the get go. The betas, scan etc are what matter- sending you all the most positive vibes for a healthy bundle :awe:
(And here I am with a third daughter, I can honestly say, I would not trade her for a million sons...I do hope you get your son, but either way, am sure you will be blessed )
Keep us posted!!

[Throwaway_panther]

I think it's supposed to be the mirror image of the picture.. like if you hold the pic up to your body what looks like it's left in the pic would actually be on the right side of the body.

But atomic should probably come in and tell us that Ramzi doesn't work anyways so that neither of us get caught up in it haha!! I feel like I get caught up on stuff like that too!! Today at my follicle ultrasound my biggest follicle was on the left side and I got all excited thinking I'll ovulate from the left and that will be better chance for a girl (even though I know that's also not true!). Ahhhhh what GD does to you :)

We need atomic to talk us down lol. I'll sit here and lecture women on OWTs and biorhythms then in the same breath do that stupid ring test over my belly lol (which said boy incidentally haha).

I've talked about it before with people, but one day I want to really delve into why even the most logical of women can go full woo in pregnancy. So much myth and magic around it all still!!

[4blue2pink]

just to fuel the "full woo" fire.. the ring test has very weirdly been right for every one of my kids, it said boy even when i desperately wanted girls, it said girl when i truly believed i couldn't have girls and was convinced they were boys and was also spot on for my youngest which was my team green baby boy!! i know its bullsh*t and would never go buying pink or blue off it but it is interesting and i feel i have to do it each time haha :) did you do it with your daughter? i so so hope its right for you this time :heart:

im fairly certain ramzi is left=right on an external scan pic and left=left on an internal scan pic, but even ramzi himself has guessed wrong a lot!! so i wouldnt trust it!!

there will always be myth and magic around pregnancy i think :) the wonderful thing about babies, is babies are magical things :D hows everything going TP? will you be finding out gender with the NIPT test?

[atomic sagebrush]

I think it's supposed to be the mirror image of the picture.. like if you hold the pic up to your body what looks like it's left in the pic would actually be on the right side of the body.

But atomic should probably come in and tell us that Ramzi doesn't work anyways so that neither of us get caught up in it haha!! I feel like I get caught up on stuff like that too!! Today at my follicle ultrasound my biggest follicle was on the left side and I got all excited thinking I'll ovulate from the left and that will be better chance for a girl (even though I know that's also not true!). Ahhhhh what GD does to you :)

It doesn't, ha ha!

I just recently found out that he never actually published his study. So it's never been reviewed or checked by any other researchers and that is a huge red flag for me (not to mention that several people sent the guy $10 to guess their ultrasounds, and he guessed WRONG!!)

[atomic sagebrush]

Re dreams - the most vivid and upsetting dreams I've ever had were when I was first pregnant with some of my kids! It really IS a pregnancy thing, especially early pregnancy. So you see you ARE INDEED having pregnancy symptoms! :bluecheer: :bluecheer: :bluecheer:

[ABC.2606]

It doesn't, ha ha!

I just recently found out that he never actually published his study. So it's never been reviewed or checked by any other researchers and that is a huge red flag for me (not to mention that several people sent the guy $10 to guess their ultrasounds, and he guessed WRONG!!)

LOL interesting! Amazing how many women have gotten all caught up in & crazy about one unpublished study!!!!

[ABC.2606]

We need atomic to talk us down lol. I'll sit here and lecture women on OWTs and biorhythms then in the same breath do that stupid ring test over my belly lol (which said boy incidentally haha).

I've talked about it before with people, but one day I want to really delve into why even the most logical of women can go full woo in pregnancy. So much myth and magic around it all still!!

Yea it is funny! Every great once in awhile I'll go on and check Chinese gender charts for the months I'm trying to conceive - even though I've NEVER found a version of it that was right for both of my boys!!

[Throwaway_panther]

just to fuel the "full woo" fire.. the ring test has very weirdly been right for every one of my kids, it said boy even when i desperately wanted girls, it said girl when i truly believed i couldn't have girls and was convinced they were boys and was also spot on for my youngest which was my team green baby boy!! i know its bullsh*t and would never go buying pink or blue off it but it is interesting and i feel i have to do it each time haha :) did you do it with your daughter? i so so hope its right for you this time :heart:

im fairly certain ramzi is left=right on an external scan pic and left=left on an internal scan pic, but even ramzi himself has guessed wrong a lot!! so i wouldnt trust it!!

there will always be myth and magic around pregnancy i think :) the wonderful thing about babies, is babies are magical things :D hows everything going TP? will you be finding out gender with the NIPT test?

Haha, I never actually did it with my DD because I thought it was so ridiculous-- which shows how far gone I was the other day!! We'll definitely do an NIPT because of so many losses, so I'd want to make sure this baby's viable. I'm actually becoming torn on gender. I think I'm in a "it's probably a girl and I'll just be insanely depressed all pregnancy," so why not just not find out? But ugh. Idk.

And I found a study that showed the ring test had women actually subconsciously moved their muscles in their hands that twitched the ring/string! And I did find the study disproving Ramzi, too. Though I read too that Ramzi is where the placenta is supposed to be in relation to baby, not the fetal pole in the sac?! I've seen BOTH be termed Ramzi. Why did I do this to myself? lol

[atomic sagebrush]

LOL interesting! Amazing how many women have gotten all caught up in & crazy about one unpublished study!!!!

Yes I felt like an utter idiot when I realized that, because it was just such a THING (even dating back ten years now) that I guess I assumed it was always a legit study...I'd even read the study but just not realized that it hadn't been published anywhere! Such a major red flag!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yea it is funny! Every great once in awhile I'll go on and check Chinese gender charts for the months I'm trying to conceive - even though I've NEVER found a version of it that was right for both of my boys!!

don't tell me things like that LOL

No seriously - the Chinese Gender Chart so messed with my head with DS 3! I didn't even have a gender preference until I checked that darn chart.

[atomic sagebrush]

Haha, I never actually did it with my DD because I thought it was so ridiculous-- which shows how far gone I was the other day!! We'll definitely do an NIPT because of so many losses, so I'd want to make sure this baby's viable. I'm actually becoming torn on gender. I think I'm in a "it's probably a girl and I'll just be insanely depressed all pregnancy," so why not just not find out? But ugh. Idk.

And I found a study that showed the ring test had women actually subconsciously moved their muscles in their hands that twitched the ring/string! And I did find the study disproving Ramzi, too. Though I read too that Ramzi is where the placenta is supposed to be in relation to baby, not the fetal pole in the sac?! I've seen BOTH be termed Ramzi. Why did I do this to myself? lol

As with the biorhythms, I find that the more ridiculously complex a theory is, the less likely it is to be legit. So like biorhythms are only correct IF you know your precise lunar birth date and the hour you conceived and etc etc etc but then other sites say the exact opposite, and Ramzi is only correct IF you know the true location of the placenta using some perfectly done ultrasound at precisely the right moment of the pregnancy...and then other sites will say the exact opposite.
No one even knows what it's really supposed to be. The more complicated it is, the more open for interpretation it is, the less likely I think it is to be true. People just go thru and fiddle with their results till they get the biorhythm chart or the Ramzi interpretation to come out right and then tell people "oh wow this totally worked for me" and then whenever it doesn't, they think "oh that's because I figured it out wrong, let me refigure it out using a different lunar birth hour or different explanation of Ramzi", you know??? :)

[4blue2pink]

i completely understand wanting to know ASAP if baby is viable, i am hoping and praying for you to get all clear Nipt results so you can feel more relaxed and confident in this pregnancy :)

as for gender.. do what feels right for you, ive always found out gender around 18-20 weeks except for with my youngest where i made the decision to go team green, it was a sway baby and given my history of horrific GD team green was probably the worst decision i could make right? but still i wanted to experience the surprise with at least 1 baby so i was determined to do it!! i told myself i wasnt finding out until the birth so i could either let GD destroy the pregnancy like it had with some of my previous babies or i could enjoy the pregnancy without GD playing a a part, because no amount of GD/hating every second of everything will change the outcome anyway.
in the end i had an opposite, he is my 5th boy and the only one where i didnt have the pregnancy completely destroyed by GD, i am so so glad i didnt find out as i know full well what an "its a boy" pregnancy is like for me and i can honestly say it was nothing like that after finding out gender at his birth, its a slightly odd experience meeting a team green baby, its very much "so this is who you are!.." rather than the full blown hideous raging GD that the gender scans brought on for me.
i know Atomic strongly advises against team green for anyone with GD and i completely understand why!! but for me it turned out to be the right decision for that baby.
whatever you decide i have everything crossed for you and will keep an eye out for your updates!! xx

[ABC.2606]

don't tell me things like that LOL

No seriously - the Chinese Gender Chart so messed with my head with DS 3! I didn't even have a gender preference until I checked that darn chart.

LOL you mean bc it's control freaky? Don't worry I'd never plan ttc around that and I've probably only checked it about 2 times in the past 2 years! I think I've mainly checked it bc I've tried to see if there is any version that was right for both of my boys and there just isn't! They all either say that one of them should have been a girl or both of them! :)

That left ovulation study (the one with the 3 month pattern) trips me up way more than Chinese gender charts! And yet I KNOW girls can be conceived from the right!! Haha.

[4blue2pink]

ABC ive never found any chart anywhere that is right for all mine!! they are fun to do though :) wouldnt non-identical twin girls come from ovulating both sides? i have no idea which side ive ovulated on for any month ever, but if i could find out i bet at least a couple of my kids would be from the "wrong" side for their gender :)

[atomic sagebrush]

No no not at all, just because I know it is bogus and I know how much it messes with your heads! :)

We just had somebody this week get a girl from the right! All these things are just curiosities.

[Throwaway_panther]

It's funny, because in my crazed Ramzi searching, I found something that said women were just as likely to conceive any gender even when down to one tube or one ovary! So I think some of us really are putting way too much on it (I ovulated from my right with DD!). I was panicked because I think I O'd from my left based on pains from both sides, but more so from the left. But I actually had a cyst there during my FET so that left sided pain could still be from a cyst hanging out there from two months ago during IVF!

Either way, I'm convinced it's a girl now :( like unshakably. And still no consistent increase of symptoms. I looked up my diary with DD and I was already a slave to nausea and food aversions by now!

I will update you all with next scan this Wednesday. DH asked to come and now I am so scared of jinxing it :(

[Throwaway_panther]

ABC ive never found any chart anywhere that is right for all mine!! they are fun to do though :) wouldnt non-identical twin girls come from ovulating both sides? i have no idea which side ive ovulated on for any month ever, but if i could find out i bet at least a couple of my kids would be from the "wrong" side for their gender :)

You can ovulate more than one egg from the same side! No that I think the side matters for gender though!

[Throwaway_panther]

i completely understand wanting to know ASAP if baby is viable, i am hoping and praying for you to get all clear Nipt results so you can feel more relaxed and confident in this pregnancy :)

as for gender.. do what feels right for you, ive always found out gender around 18-20 weeks except for with my youngest where i made the decision to go team green, it was a sway baby and given my history of horrific GD team green was probably the worst decision i could make right? but still i wanted to experience the surprise with at least 1 baby so i was determined to do it!! i told myself i wasnt finding out until the birth so i could either let GD destroy the pregnancy like it had with some of my previous babies or i could enjoy the pregnancy without GD playing a a part, because no amount of GD/hating every second of everything will change the outcome anyway.
in the end i had an opposite, he is my 5th boy and the only one where i didnt have the pregnancy completely destroyed by GD, i am so so glad i didnt find out as i know full well what an "its a boy" pregnancy is like for me and i can honestly say it was nothing like that after finding out gender at his birth, its a slightly odd experience meeting a team green baby, its very much "so this is who you are!.." rather than the full blown hideous raging GD that the gender scans brought on for me.
i know Atomic strongly advises against team green for anyone with GD and i completely understand why!! but for me it turned out to be the right decision for that baby.
whatever you decide i have everything crossed for you and will keep an eye out for your updates!! xx

I was a big proponent of finding out gender with GD because SOOOO many people and things pointed boy for DD, and I wanted a boy so bad that I would have been devastated at birth I think. I am so grateful I fell in love with her as immediately as I did, but I'm sure some of you remember how awful my depression was about her when J first came here pregnant.

Now I just don't feel boy at all. All from that dream and Ramzi making me question myself so much I seriously can't imagine this being a boy. :( And I feel if I confirm girl early, I don't trust myself with this pregnancy. I have literally said I would rather die than have another girl, then was faced with the awful realities of IVF and our situation, and prayed so hard that I would still go back for our frozen XXs if I could just get our healthy son first. And everytime I get angry about this pregnancy being a girl, I feel like I'm just cursing myself to go into a devastating scan. :(

[ABC.2606]

It's funny, because in my crazed Ramzi searching, I found something that said women were just as likely to conceive any gender even when down to one tube or one ovary! So I think some of us really are putting way too much on it (I ovulated from my right with DD!). I was panicked because I think I O'd from my left based on pains from both sides, but more so from the left. But I actually had a cyst there during my FET so that left sided pain could still be from a cyst hanging out there from two months ago during IVF!

Either way, I'm convinced it's a girl now :( like unshakably. And still no consistent increase of symptoms. I looked up my diary with DD and I was already a slave to nausea and food aversions by now!

I will update you all with next scan this Wednesday. DH asked to come and now I am so scared of jinxing it :(

Well if you're going by OWT, less symptoms would indicate boy since "they say" you have more sickness with girls!! :) So maybe fewer symptoms is a good sign!!!

Can't wait to hear about your scan on Wednesday!!

[Throwaway_panther]

Well if you're going by OWT, less symptoms would indicate boy since "they say" you have more sickness with girls!! :) So maybe fewer symptoms is a good sign!!!

Can't wait to hear about your scan on Wednesday!!

Haha I'm not even going by OWT, since I'm also super hairy right now (versus one of the few OWTs that lined up with DD was me barely needing to shave or pluck -- and I'm of a pretty swarthy ethnicity haha). But I felt more symptoms from my brief pregnancy with our abnormal XYs! It's all me feeling it by intuition I guess... and that damn intuition study is what's making me feel it must be true. Even though I know that was one study and it wasn't 100% even then! Uugh, I'm half serious about someone needing to sedate me lol!

[atomic sagebrush]

RE side of pain and side of O...I have had SO many people message me in a panic because they had pain on one side that was supposed to be friendly to whichever gender, who later went on to see that on ultrasound they had actually ovulated from the other ovary entirely! Since eggs form in both ovaries it is totally possible to have pain on both sides (I always do) regardless of the side you ovulate from!

[atomic sagebrush]

You can ovulate more than one egg from the same side! No that I think the side matters for gender though!

:agree: Yes it's just the two "best" eggs are released. They could both be on the same side or one on each side. It's just the eggs themselves that respond best to the hormones and grow the fastest and just largely down to either luck or some unknown force we don't understand yet, what governs that.

[atomic sagebrush]

I was a big proponent of finding out gender with GD because SOOOO many people and things pointed boy for DD, and I wanted a boy so bad that I would have been devastated at birth I think. I am so grateful I fell in love with her as immediately as I did, but I'm sure some of you remember how awful my depression was about her when J first came here pregnant.


It's a double edged sword for sure, because for ~some~ people it's hard to love a grainy ultrasound and they have more feelz for a baby that's already arrived, but overall I have seen very few people who were better off not finding out in advance with anything more than the mildest of preferences. I just really think people should find out if they know they'll be upset. Can u do something like NIPT where you won't have to endure the scan? You'd find out on the phone or in the mail and you could deal with it without having to put on a brave face for anyone, if it was not what you were hoping for.

[ABC.2606]

RE side of pain and side of O...I have had SO many people message me in a panic because they had pain on one side that was supposed to be friendly to whichever gender, who later went on to see that on ultrasound they had actually ovulated from the other ovary entirely! Since eggs form in both ovaries it is totally possible to have pain on both sides (I always do) regardless of the side you ovulate from!

Yea it's weird - the past day or so my right side has been sore, although I know from the ultrasound that my left side has the biggest follicle! But who knows which one will ovulate, if both will, etc. Also my right ovary had several smaller follicles as well as a big one, while the left side only had a couple of them but had the largest one. So maybe the right ovary is just overcrowded?! :) LOL oh well - there is a lot of mystery to all this!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Imagine that it's like having zits LOL - if you have them on your right side of your forehead and left side of your forehead, they would both hurt, and the bigger one ~may~ hurt more but sometimes that's not always the case and you can have a smaller one that hurts like a momma. And then if you are able to pick one, it will feel better and go away, while the one on the other side that was unpickable may still hurt and hurt for days afterwards before it finally reabsorbs itself and goes away!

It's totally possible that a smaller follicle hurts worse than a bigger one, that both sides can hurt equally bad, and that ovulation actually make the pain on the side you ovulated from go away faster than on the side that didn't! :)

[Throwaway_panther]

RE side of pain and side of O...I have had SO many people message me in a panic because they had pain on one side that was supposed to be friendly to whichever gender, who later went on to see that on ultrasound they had actually ovulated from the other ovary entirely! Since eggs form in both ovaries it is totally possible to have pain on both sides (I always do) regardless of the side you ovulate from!

It's not even been just O! I've had what feels like round ligament pain also, but midwife assured it was likely a corpus luteum since I'm too early for RLP (though my uterus probably is a worn out balloon by this point lol). The real head scratcher is I've had it on both sides, just slightly worse on left -- though I'm wondering if the cyst from IVF on the left side just never went away?

We'll definitely do NIPT no matter what since we know we've had so many chromosomal issues. I've thought about getting gender on a card since a phone call would kill me too (definitely traumatized after two phone calls delivering me PGS results). But I also am reluctant to find out so early considering I'm convinced it's a girl and I'd have 30 weeks of depression instead of 20... or just staying team green and maybe being surprised at birth but coming to terms with it likely being a girl the whole time.
ETA: as soon as I wrote this my right side started hurting more lol. clearly making mountains out of mole hills here...

[4blue2pink]

i didnt know you could ovulate more than 1 egg from one side :) in all honesty id never even used an opk before swaying so i must admit to being horribly ignorant about all of this despite having had a million pregnancies :-/ pre-swaying i was one of those "just bd whenever we want and a bfp will come around when it does" people.

TP i dont want to try and persuade you into anything as it must be your decision and yours alone, but from what you are saying and my own experience with a team green opposite vs my "knowing the gender" pregnancies. i feel like maybe team green could work for you on a take each day as it comes type basis, as in if you reach a point where for any reason you just know you have to find out in order to cope then you find out, but if you feel that not knowing is better for you than hearing "girl" then stay not knowing, for what its worth i thought i wanted to be team green with #7 (1st sway baby) until i hit 37 weeks and found out at the growth scan because i wasnt enjoying team green anymore and i just knew at that point that i needed to know, generally people laugh at me when i tell them this including the sonographer who was like "you seriously want to find out now like 2-3 weeks before the birth!! wont you regret spoiling the surprise?" but it was what i needed to do :)

i have everything crossed for baby to look perfect at your scan on wednesday xx

[ABC.2606]

Haha I'm not even going by OWT, since I'm also super hairy right now (versus one of the few OWTs that lined up with DD was me barely needing to shave or pluck -- and I'm of a pretty swarthy ethnicity haha). But I felt more symptoms from my brief pregnancy with our abnormal XYs! It's all me feeling it by intuition I guess... and that damn intuition study is what's making me feel it must be true. Even though I know that was one study and it wasn't 100% even then! Uugh, I'm half serious about someone needing to sedate me lol!

Well... Tonight while cleaning up the house the thought came into my head that if we get pregnant this cycle (and I don't know even know if I've O'd yet!), it's going to be a boy. I decided I didn't do enough sway-wise so it can't be a girl. And again, I don't know even know if I've ovulated yet, much less if I'm even going to catch the egg LOL!!!! But see - I think that is just the product of having really strong gender desire/disappointment, not intuition. Maybe it's different for you - and honestly I don't want to come off sounding like I'm telling you what you think or feel or know!! I'm not trying to discredit your intuition at all. It's just I know how strong the gender desire can be and I think it can cloud our thinking/feelings a lot of times and really confuse us. And then when you've worked SO hard to try to get the desired gender I think it can make it even harder to believe it will actually ever happen.

I was a ball of emotions and feelings and worries - all of it - with each of my BFPs over the past year... You aren't alone in that!! I looked for every possible sign of whether I was carrying a boy or girl!! But after my 3rd miscarriage in March when I was a horrible mess in those first few weeks, I had the strongest feeling that that 3rd pregnancy was my girl. Like, I even told several people IRL that I knew it was a girl - even people who don't know about how strong my desire for a girl is. That stupid "left side" thing again too... I *think*, but am not sure, that the baby was on the left. So with that and with the swaying I had done and then the fact that I had lost it... I just completely convinced myself that it was a girl. It was one of the reasons I didn't want to do testing on the fetal tissue after the D&C (that and there was likely not enough fetal tissue for them to test anyways which means they probably would have ended up just testing my chromosomes!). But if the testing had come back that it was a girl I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Obviously I'll never know if I was right or not, but having some distance now from the pregnancy and having been able to remove myself from the emotions of it a little more I can see that it was probably GD (combined with the pain of the loss) - not intuition - making me "convinced" it was a girl. And maybe it was a girl - but I really, really have no way of knowing so I've at least been able to stop torturing myself over it (for now at least!).

But anyways... I really think you have a great chance of this being a boy!!! I don't know all you did as far as swaying but I think you said you were doing HE and you had multiple attempts and you are (like me!) ultra-fertile so there are lots of good factors in your favor!!! Still keeping my fingers crossed that this is your healthy little boy!!!

[Throwaway_panther]

Well... Tonight while cleaning up the house the thought came into my head that if we get pregnant this cycle (and I don't know even know if I've O'd yet!), it's going to be a boy. I decided I didn't do enough sway-wise so it can't be a girl. And again, I don't know even know if I've ovulated yet, much less if I'm even going to catch the egg LOL!!!! But see - I think that is just the product of having really strong gender desire/disappointment, not intuition. Maybe it's different for you - and honestly I don't want to come off sounding like I'm telling you what you think or feel or know!! I'm not trying to discredit your intuition at all. It's just I know how strong the gender desire can be and I think it can cloud our thinking/feelings a lot of times and really confuse us. And then when you've worked SO hard to try to get the desired gender I think it can make it even harder to believe it will actually ever happen.

I was a ball of emotions and feelings and worries - all of it - with each of my BFPs over the past year... You aren't alone in that!! I looked for every possible sign of whether I was carrying a boy or girl!! But after my 3rd miscarriage in March when I was a horrible mess in those first few weeks, I had the strongest feeling that that 3rd pregnancy was my girl. Like, I even told several people IRL that I knew it was a girl - even people who don't know about how strong my desire for a girl is. That stupid "left side" thing again too... I *think*, but am not sure, that the baby was on the left. So with that and with the swaying I had done and then the fact that I had lost it... I just completely convinced myself that it was a girl. It was one of the reasons I didn't want to do testing on the fetal tissue after the D&C (that and there was likely not enough fetal tissue for them to test anyways which means they probably would have ended up just testing my chromosomes!). But if the testing had come back that it was a girl I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Obviously I'll never know if I was right or not, but having some distance now from the pregnancy and having been able to remove myself from the emotions of it a little more I can see that it was probably GD (combined with the pain of the loss) - not intuition - making me "convinced" it was a girl. And maybe it was a girl - but I really, really have no way of knowing so I've at least been able to stop torturing myself over it (for now at least!).

But anyways... I really think you have a great chance of this being a boy!!! I don't know all you did as far as swaying but I think you said you were doing HE and you had multiple attempts and you are (like me!) ultra-fertile so there are lots of good factors in your favor!!! Still keeping my fingers crossed that this is your healthy little boy!!!

Thank you ABC! You and I really do share a mind here!!!

And I've had SUCH similar thoughts! I am still so, so convinced that my first and third losses were boys. Like would bet money on it. But the only reason I thought my second loss was a girl was because my chiropractor had said, "I can see your DD with a sister, not really a brother" before I even knew I was pregnant that cycle! (Which really made me angry, and to this day I still see her more with a brother!)

So it's funny that I'll listen to ANY forecast of a girl as accurate, but anytime someone tells me I'm having a boy/will have a boy, I brush it off!!! My therapist has commented on this, too -- it's like I still feel like I won't get what I want. I have real issues with this mindset. If someone tells me I'm fat or ugly (even if it's just a sister being obnoxious), I will hold onto that and make it true in my mind. If ten people say I'm skinny or pretty, I'll jump over backwards to think of how those are untrue things.

And that's actually a big part of this. I mean, I do keep feeling like a girl -- though I didn't feel that until that damn dream/the Ramzi nonsense! Then there are moments where I'm like, "Well, maybe it is a boy? DH was right about DD afterall -- and he doesn't even want a DS really, so for him to say it..." And the possible placenta in my scan is like 3/4 of the way around the sac haha -- so I know I'm nuts to consider our early scan anything worth anything.

I think I'm just at a point where I just don't feel like I can get a HEALTHY boy. I felt SO sure going into this cycle that this could be it -- and incidentally, last April is when I felt the same sort of, "If we just try, this will be it" -- but DH and I were having major issues and he didn't want to try at all. But then I'll read, "April is girl month" and freak out! But then I KNOW so many men and boys born the end of December/beginning of January, why would I pay it mind?! It's amazing the gymnastics my mind will do to convince me I can't get what I desire so strongly!

I think once I feel confident enough this pregnancy is even staying, I'll post my sway. I did a "mock up" of it just for my sanity the other day, and I mean -- I did a lot! Lots of supplements, mucinex, high protein and high fat for ages, TONS of sex (and all but one of our attempts was in the AM), I even did baking soda finger for one morning attempt, etc. Exercise was minimal, but weight lifting, yoga or hiking when I did it. I had been doing acupuncture since August! Super minimal alcohol. Hadn't touched coffee since 3 weeks pregnant with DD. Etc. And DH has been PLIED with supplements and had his balls iced and I've been on him about alcohol and what not for ages, haha. I'm just also worried because my calories probably could have been higher (I was more in the 1800-2000 range, and had had a few days even lower than that at the beginning of March when I was very depressed from our PGS results) though I did have even higher days from being on a trip at the beginning of the cycle. I'm definitely a higher weight than I was with DD, that's for sure. But I have nerves from the things I was on for the IVF cycles (like myoinsitol which I had just weaned off of in like the beginning of March). I've told myself too, "Lots of girl swayers have opposites doing some of the things I was worried about, so nothing is a 100% one way or the other," but I just feel like luck is rarely on my side -- especially knowing that I don't just fall pregnant easily because of chance, I have hyperfertility! Haha, so now I feel like, "Just my luck, I will have spent thousands and thousands of dollars to have frozen XXs for nothing since I just ended up with a girl trying naturally anyway."

Like, I realize -- I have just as much chance at a boy as anyone, and we even know we were spitting out 50/50 from two IVF cycles. I think what gets me is me feeling like we can't get a healthy boy :( All our XYs being abnormal, and having so many losses during swaying (even though I know it's virtually impossible that all seven of our natural losses were boys!) makes me just so scared that finally getting a healthy pregnancy -- it'll be another girl, and that we can only make healthy girls. And I should say, I think my DH is the issue and not me :/

And I have my theory on hyperfertility, haha -- I know the working theory on GD is that it sways boy, but there ARE studies that show the LONGER it takes to conceive = more boys. And that a woman who could still conceive under poor conditions is more fertile, and thus a girl -- I've read and written about it somewhere on here before! Not that I'm in poor conditions anymore like I was with DD, but I think being very fertile sways more girl from all I've read. I always hope the pink swayers take heart from it, because I don't think falling pregnant easily means "boy" -- and I think I might be a good example of this, or that maybe it IS true in some cases, but my DH is the sperm working against me >_<

[TaytumJ]

First of all, I want to say huge congrats TP!! I’ve been in and out on here, but always make a point to follow you and pray for you and your family. So happy to see you’re pregnant!

I also just wanted to jump on and add with both of my pregnancies, I had little symptoms. With DS1 I had like 1 week of feeling crappy and that wasn’t until like 9 weeks. With DS2 I felt just hungover for a few weeks and only wanted to eat carbs (but that’s my normal life haha). But it wasn’t anything crazy. DS1 I worried constantly with lack of symptoms. And he was actually my healthiest pregnancy lol.

We were also team green. With DS2 I was convinced he was a girl. I was doing NOTHING sway wise besides vitamin D and a multi vitamin. One BD in window, not even that close to O. Not eating properly, no exercising, etc. I wanted so badly to peek at 20w u/s to just know if it was a girl I could mentally prepare. My situation was different though as we had an emergency c section at 33 weeks and I barely got to see him and didn’t get to hold him for 2 days. It was harder bonding than with my first (and maybe because I missed out on the surge of hormones those last few weeks). I can’t imagine what a tough spot you’re in. Maybe, like you mentioned, getting it in an email or written down so you can do it when you’re ready in your own time when you want to and in a good place.

Just wanted to say I’m so happy and praying for a healthy boy for you. [emoji170]


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[atomic sagebrush]

Well, I'm going to quibble with your midwife on this because what happens is that even from day 1 your body releases relaxin and this absolutely makes things that are stretched out from previous pregnancies, stretchier LOL. For me, I would have a sudden swelling of varicose veins and heartburn (which is also caused by relaxin when u have it in early pg) before I even missed a period and had tons of aches and stretchy pains all over my uterus. Left, right, up down...I'd have severe pain on one side for a few days then it would move to some other spot.

So my best guess is that you probably are having some RLP now - but that IS a symptom!

[atomic sagebrush]

i didnt know you could ovulate more than 1 egg from one side :) in all honesty id never even used an opk before swaying so i must admit to being horribly ignorant about all of this despite having had a million pregnancies :-/ pre-swaying i was one of those "just bd whenever we want and a bfp will come around when it does" people.



Oh no not at all, virtually all of us (myself included) know nothing about the process it's just that I happened to get interested in it, that's all! I find it so fascinating about how it all works and how some of the assumptions we all make (because I think it's just common sense that you'd O from each side, not the same side with twins!) aren't actually true in reality and it's some other thing entirelY! So fun to learn about!!!

[Throwaway_panther]

@atomic: Thank you! Honestly, I was like, "... I know what RLP feels like," and I got them pretty early with DD too (not this early, but my hips spread VERY far with her, and I think that started early.) And I've been pregnant 10 times in 3 years! Lower belly is already hardening up lol... so I think it's RLP too? I mean, you all know! The "sneeze and feel the pain shooting in that area"! I think I make a shitton of relaxin when pregnant, lol.

@taytum: Thank you so much for commenting! I was just thinking about your little one, too -- how is he doing?! Your boys sure like to come early!!! Though I know DS1 wasn't THAT early!!! Hope DS2 is doing well <3

You were actually a little bit of an inspiration before I went into this pregnancy, haha! Your "hope it's a boy" light sway did make me think, "It really is always possible"! Although I am so jealous you got 2 boys in 2 years, all while being Team Green -- totally my dream :P

So did you really feel DS2 was a girl?! I didn't know that! I think I missed a lot of your posts since I was feeling pretty down when you came back pregnant and I had also lost a baby due in May :( I was in such a bad place. I've been wanting to ask people too who was convinced for sure they had an opposite of what they wanted -- I had polled people before on the "dreams," and LOTS of people dreamed of opposites of what they had, but I wasn't clear on how many were dreaming of what they wanted vs. feared.

Still definitely feeling, "It has to be a girl," but also nervous as scan is today :X Please let this bean have grown and gotten a full heartbeat <3

[Throwaway_panther]

Got a strong HB and measuring right on track, so things are progressing well. Midwife joked it's a boy too because of symptoms, but then said the prednisone I'm on is probably why I have no symptoms! She said it's what they even give women for HG when it doesn't respond to other meds! So now I have an explanation for why I'm virtually symptomless -- but also can't feel any pleasure from maybe less symptoms being because it's a boy :( I did have preg symptoms while on it during the brief TWW and pregnancy of the XYs, though... midwife said maybe because there were two I had more hormones that pushed beyond the pred, but my HCG never rose as high as I did with just this one at 15DPO AND I didn't start the pred until BFP this time and still hadn't felt anything versus that pregnancy I was on it even before transfer and felt more! So still head scratching!

At least there's a baby in there!

[ABC.2606]

Ahhhh YAY!!!!! I love it! That's so great!! And that's great that you have an explanation with the prednisone and not having symptoms! Totally makes sense. Seriously though - I think it's more common to have less symptoms with a boy than with a girl! And like I said the other day, I had a different severity of symptoms with each of my boys so ya just never know!

YAY YAY for heartbeat!! Do you have a new pic?? Did DH go with you? Is he getting pretty excited now?

[Throwaway_panther]

Latest pic!

39535

DH did come and seemed pretty excited. He kind of got withdrawn since I'm still very cautious about it all, and I know he hated when I asked, "DO you really think it's a boy?" since I know he's dreading me going through the same tailspin as when I was pregnant with DD. So I'm going to try and focus on just, "I AM pregnant."

Incidentally I asked my midwife if she could tell what side I O'd from and she couldn't tell haha

ETA: This bean is implanted on the complete opposite end of my uterus as DD! But I think DD
was boy by Ramzi and whatnot so I don't know why I'm bothering lol

[atomic sagebrush]

Ahhhh YAY!!!!! I love it! That's so great!! And that's great that you have an explanation with the prednisone and not having symptoms! Totally makes sense. Seriously though - I think it's more common to have less symptoms with a boy than with a girl! And like I said the other day, I had a different severity of symptoms with each of my boys so ya just never know!

YAY YAY for heartbeat!! Do you have a new pic?? Did DH go with you? Is he getting pretty excited now?

It's not though. I promise that it is not any more common to have less symptoms with a boy than a girl. Many of us on here who have had lots o boys had less symptoms with our girl than our boy. I had very few symptoms with 2nd boy and girl and then my other three pregnancies, all boys, were nightmares LOL. This is not to say I think Panther is having a girl or any such thing, it is that I don't want anyone to have false hope or false despair over symptoms and it really infuriates me when medical professionals say stuff like that because it causes heartbreak for so many of us. :/

[atomic sagebrush]

What a beautiful sight! Thank you so much for posting!

[Georgia_Peach]

I had lots of nausea in first trimester but not like my last pregnancies. As soon as I weaned off predisone...
BAMMMMMM
Hit like a ton of bricks! Deff helped the side effects!
So happy to hear baby is doing well!!
Got a strong HB and measuring right on track, so things are progressing well. Midwife joked it's a boy too because of symptoms, but then said the prednisone I'm on is probably why I have no symptoms! She said it's what they even give women for HG when it doesn't respond to other meds! So now I have an explanation for why I'm virtually symptomless -- but also can't feel any pleasure from maybe less symptoms being because it's a boy :( I did have preg symptoms while on it during the brief TWW and pregnancy of the XYs, though... midwife said maybe because there were two I had more hormones that pushed beyond the pred, but my HCG never rose as high as I did with just this one at 15DPO AND I didn't start the pred until BFP this time and still hadn't felt anything versus that pregnancy I was on it even before transfer and felt more! So still head scratching!

At least there's a baby in there!

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[Throwaway_panther]

It's not though. I promise that it is not any more common to have less symptoms with a boy than a girl. Many of us on here who have had lots o boys had less symptoms with our girl than our boy. I had very few symptoms with 2nd boy and girl and then my other three pregnancies, all boys, were nightmares LOL. This is not to say I think Panther is having a girl or any such thing, it is that I don't want anyone to have false hope or false despair over symptoms and it really infuriates me when medical professionals say stuff like that because it causes heartbreak for so many of us. :/

When I mentioned I had symptoms with ALL my other pregnancies, she literally said, "Maybe they were all girls." I was like, "Er... yeah, I don't think so." lol, to be fair, she is not my normal midwife...

[atomic sagebrush]

When I mentioned I had symptoms with ALL my other pregnancies, she literally said, "Maybe they were all girls." I was like, "Er... yeah, I don't think so." lol, to be fair, she is not my normal midwife...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

atomic suffers an Indiana-Jones-style facemelt

They really have no idea how these offhand remarks affect people. :/

[TaytumJ]

I was dead set DS2 was a girl. So was DH! From my lack of swaying and BD pattern and lifestyle, to the subchorionic hemorrhage, to a high HB and even having “more” symptoms than with DS1. I also succumbed to Ramzi and got girl guesses. [emoji33] I think nannr was the same way - team green and had girl guesses on everything too and ended up with a little boy. It’s so hard not to get caught up in the OWT, but I was in your boat and thoroughly convinced he was a she. And like you, early on had dreams about having a girl. It’s so tough! You’re not alone!

I always keep in mind people do a full on kitchen sink sway and STILL get opposites. That’s what gave me hope.

So happy you had a strong HB and measuring right on track!! I am sending all my blue dust and lucky vibes to you!! [emoji170][emoji170]


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[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you all so much! I'm feeling calmer in general about it all, and honestly am really feeling like I will go Team Green for this (which I know will kill everyone, haha). I don't trust myself if I find out it's a girl -- I need to just keep convincing myself she is/it is? Lol. And focus on this bring for DD, since she's so obsessed with babies and I am, at least right now, just happy to have made it this far pregnancy wise again.

@Mamabird and anyone else on prednisone: Did you find yourself super hungry? I know that's a side effect (I was on it as a kid, and it's actually part of how I became weight restored from my first bout of anorexia). It's hard for me to tell if I should resist how hungry I am since it's maybe just the drug, or if I should eat to fullness since it is maybe the pregnancy and I should listen?

I feel the most unexpected symptom of this pregnancy is how GOOD food is tasting... again,a reason why I was REALLY concerned for a second there! lol!

[atomic sagebrush]

Eat to fullness even if it is the prednisone a little. I am a big believer in feeding pregnant women - I think your body needs it and many of us find we are super hungry in the first tri and then it tapers off over the pregnancy. I have always gained quite a bit and been hungry (even while nauseous! LOL) in the first trimester and then stopped gaining in the second.

[4blue2pink]

Oh no not at all, virtually all of us (myself included) know nothing about the process it's just that I happened to get interested in it, that's all! I find it so fascinating about how it all works and how some of the assumptions we all make (because I think it's just common sense that you'd O from each side, not the same side with twins!) aren't actually true in reality and it's some other thing entirelY! So fun to learn about!!!

it is so interesting Atomic :D ive learned so much from this site!!

TP that midwife who said all your losses were girls is an idiot, after i lost my second baby (DD1) with no medical reasons for her death found, i had the consultant tell me "well maybe you just cant successfully carry girls, you can obviously conceive them but you might always lose them during the second half of the pregnancy" ARGH!! WHYYY!! why say that!!!! (he was wrong)
i hope you are ok and im SO excited to see you leaning towards team green :D when is baby due?

[atomic sagebrush]

Ugh I know we talked abut this before but that was just SO out of order!! There is literally NO medical evidence that that is even possible and I have talked to several people who were told that and went on to have a girl/boy. :hair:

[4blue2pink]

i honestly think if they cant find an answer from mums blood tests, swabs, urine samples etc and baby's post mortem/placenta and cord tests then they just blame mum because its easy and it gives a "reason."
sadly its shocking how many Drs/midwives do this, it makes me so angry.
I believed his "reason" for 4 years and felt like a complete failure for apparently killing my perfect healthy baby girl who would of gone full term and lived if she had just been inside a different "girl friendly" woman, it took having my 2 living girls to fully move past that insane way of thinking and stop blaming myself, if only they realised the damage these type of comments can do.

i would still give anything to know why she died but i guess it will always be a mystery..

[Throwaway_panther]

Braverman actually said the same thing to me, but for boys :/ He's got his tentative "autoimmune issues towards boys" theory, but now we know that my losses were likely chromosomes -- and now comes the stress that we have really bad luck conceiving boys since they've all been abnormal thus far even though DH's Y chromosone is supposedly fine. But it's extra worse when someone says it to someone about girls, since I have yet to encounter any scientific hypothesis on "not being able to carry girls." I'm sorry you were told such a cruel thing 4blue :(

I also pointed out to this midwife that I still had early symptoms (waves of nausea, food aversions) with our FET of confirmed XYs, and she said maybe it was because it was two and "so much hormones." I was on prednisone AND my HCG never got higher than probably 25. I think none of these people know what they're talking about with symptoms or gender based things lol... she seemed to really want to push a narrative.

And I'm due right at the New Year!!! Every day feel more inclined to go Team Green for my sanity lol

[atomic sagebrush]

There is something in humans that makes us want to be able to fit everything into a narrative or an overarching system (and we are all susceptible to it, me too!!) and it makes it really hard for people to snap out of it and say "I don't know" because they just want that narrative that ties everything all together so neatly in a paradigm that appeals to them. So Dr. B (even tho I like Dr. B) wants to fit everything into the "autoimmune" paradigm, the midwife wants to fit everything into her paradigm, the docs want to explain losses using that paradigm in which they still know everything and anything they don't have an explanation for, must be somehow the woman's fault, etc.

[4blue2pink]

Braverman actually said the same thing to me, but for boys :/ He's got his tentative "autoimmune issues towards boys" theory, but now we know that my losses were likely chromosomes -- and now comes the stress that we have really bad luck conceiving boys since they've all been abnormal thus far even though DH's Y chromosone is supposedly fine. But it's extra worse when someone says it to someone about girls, since I have yet to encounter any scientific hypothesis on "not being able to carry girls." I'm sorry you were told such a cruel thing 4blue :(

I also pointed out to this midwife that I still had early symptoms (waves of nausea, food aversions) with our FET of confirmed XYs, and she said maybe it was because it was two and "so much hormones." I was on prednisone AND my HCG never got higher than probably 25. I think none of these people know what they're talking about with symptoms or gender based things lol... she seemed to really want to push a narrative.

And I'm due right at the New Year!!! Every day feel more inclined to go Team Green for my sanity lol

i do remember thinking at the time why would my body which is female reject a healthy female baby just for being female.. but because it was the consultant who said it i felt like, well he's the expert here so he must know and be right.. yeah..more fool me!! i think they just want to seem like they have an answer when actually them saying they dont know in this case would be better.

i dont believe that you cant carry boys either and im sorry that you too have had this said to you, your abnormal XY's while understandably devastating for you :( dont say anything about your ability to carry a son, so far it seems you have had terribly bad luck with your XY's but that doesnt mean that they will all be abnormal, and so far this baby seems to be healthy and developing well :heart: it could very well be your boy!! dont ever doubt your ability to conceive a healthy XY and carry a son.

LOVE New Year babies!! my youngest was born on Jan 2nd :) having my team green baby and starting the year with such a massive (and very cute) surprise was just amazing :D i wont lie i did have some days during the pregnancy of "am i making a huge mistake going team green, will this bite me in the ass big time if baby comes out a boy?" but honestly for me it was the best thing ive ever done!! and baby was a boy!! post-birth ive bonded much better and easier with him than any of my other boys, maybe it was team green or maybe its because he's come after 2 girls or maybe its a mix of both but this time was significantly better (thank god)

so come on little ThrowawayPantherCub bean stick in there, keep growing and give your mama, dad and big sister the most amazing start to 2019!! :heart:

[onebigwish]

Congrats! I’ve experienced no symptoms till 6 weeks with my sons.

[Throwaway_panther]

This just came out! https://pregnantchicken.com/what-causes-morning-sickness/

So looks like it's a specific protein as observed in a recent study! So not the HCG or progesterone as once suspected. There still seems to be an association between this protein and loss or not, so still confused on the nausea I did have with my losses -- but thought I'd share!

[atomic sagebrush]

I see tons of people with quite severe sickness and losses so I wouldn't hang my hat on that one just yet. The study was referring to nausea in the SECOND tri and not early pregnancy, also. https://www.biorxiv.org/content/early/2017/11/17/221267

I do think they'll get it figured out within the next few years, though.

[Throwaway_panther]

I see tons of people with quite severe sickness and losses so I wouldn't hang my hat on that one just yet. The study was referring to nausea in the SECOND tri and not early pregnancy, also. https://www.biorxiv.org/content/early/2017/11/17/221267

I do think they'll get it figured out within the next few years, though.

Wow, that's even more interesting since nausea in the second trimester isn't considered super typical, I thought (and I think we all know some moms with hyperemesis who still had losses :( ). I did have nausea until about 16 weeks with DD, though never vomiting. Hmmm.

[ABC.2606]

There was an article I was looking at a few months back that talked about different maternal factors that were associated with MS and things that were "protective" against having MS in pregnancy, things like alcohol use before conception, lower saturated fat diet before conception, etc. Atomic have you seen that one? I found it when I was pregnant last time when I was so worried about why I wasn't having ANY nausea or morning sickness, despite having much with my boys. I thought maybe that study had something to do with my lack of MS. Ultimately in my case I don't really think it was any of those factors - it was just that that pregnancy wasn't going well. It was interesting though.

[ABC.2606]

This is it: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3676933/

But yea it doesn't really seem like they have it figured out yet...

[atomic sagebrush]

This is it: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3676933/

But yea it doesn't really seem like they have it figured out yet...

I had but not recently, thanks for posting.

I have suspicions that just like with autism, cancer, etc there are probably at least a couple different forms/causes of morning sickness and so it's really hard to tease out what is happening. Like, I'm envisioning some sort of convergent evolution where different groups of people end up developing pregnancy nausea (which it's been speculated actually IS evolutionarily adaptive because it makes us more likely to skip eating things that may be contaminated or harmful) for different reasons and so it very well may be the case that there are separate causes for different forms of morning sickness and HG is possibly some other thing entirely.

Super interesting that smoking was protective of MS! I've said before how my mom thought MS was all in the mind and so I was blindsided when pregnant with my first, because I truly thought it was psychological!! But she smoked a lot too so it makes me wonder how much that is really a thing. I also had nausea on BCP, have horrible motion sickness, migraines, and vestibular disturbance too (none of which she has) so that is all very fascinating.

[ABC.2606]

I had but not recently, thanks for posting.

I have suspicions that just like with autism, cancer, etc there are probably at least a couple different forms/causes of morning sickness and so it's really hard to tease out what is happening. Like, I'm envisioning some sort of convergent evolution where different groups of people end up developing pregnancy nausea (which it's been speculated actually IS evolutionarily adaptive because it makes us more likely to skip eating things that may be contaminated or harmful) for different reasons and so it very well may be the case that there are separate causes for different forms of morning sickness and HG is possibly some other thing entirely.

Super interesting that smoking was protective of MS! I've said before how my mom thought MS was all in the mind and so I was blindsided when pregnant with my first, because I truly thought it was psychological!! But she smoked a lot too so it makes me wonder how much that is really a thing. I also had nausea on BCP, have horrible motion sickness, migraines, and vestibular disturbance too (none of which she has) so that is all very fascinating.

Hmmm... my mom has horrible motion sickness, migraines, has never smoked or drank in her life, has one boy and one girl, and still she had no MS with either!! LOL!!!! Who knows - I'm sure there are reasons behind all of it but it really does seem pretty random on the surface!!! Especially given how different MS can be in different pregnancies in the same woman!

[Throwaway_panther]

Ooh that study is interesting. Though it seems to focus on HG! I do know my mom had no MS with three girls, so I thought perhaps I'd have inherited that -- but my food aversions were insane with DD and nausea from 3 to 16 or 17 weeks! But my grandmother had HG with a girl and a boy, so I wonder just how genetic any of it could be and if it is more those other elements (though I drank a looot before DD, and that sure didn't help me lol).

I have gotten some nausea over the last few days, as an update. Very minimal, sort of, "Oh I got too hungry and now feel a tad nauseous." I'm so worried I've literally psychosomatic'd myself into nausea lol.

I've also been getting more frequent headaches :( I'm worried that's a sign my progesterone could be dropping? I never had headaches with DD other than one at the beginning when I suddenly dropped coffee!

[atomic sagebrush]

Headaches are super common during pregnancy. That's always been one of my main symptoms. First time I ever got a migraine was with my 2nd pregnancy. Drops in hormones can cause headaches when you aren't pregnant but that doesn't mean that pregnancy headaches are caused by drops in hormones - high levels of hormones can cause headaches too, plus remember that relaxin affects everything in your body so the vessels in your brain can be too dilated with the one-two punch of high progesterone and increasing relaxin! :)