Do people try to be mean? Or just are mean accidentally?

[mommymachine]

So I had my baby shower yesterday. Pink everything! It was everything I have ever dreamed. Completely wonderful. So right before my friend (who I have known since I was 3) leaves, she says to me; "So in the ultrasound was she spread eagle because they were wrong with my friend." It hurt:( I think that's it's ever woman's worst nightmare (or almost worst) that the ultrasound could be wrong and it's not our desired gender after all. I shouldn't let it bug me. I just need to keep the faith.

[Cinss]

Hopefully your friend was sincerely looking out for your best interest, making sure you are sure. Obviously there are better ways of saying it, but at least she waited until you 2 were alone? and didn't announce it infront of everyone? We have all heard the horror stories of mothers painting rooms etc, to only be told the ultrasound was wrong... ouch!

[begonia]

I'm so sorry your friend said that to you! You're likely the best judge of whether she did it to be spiteful or not, but regardless, I'm sorry for that being part of your otherwise lovely day. Don't doubt the scan or your doc because of her comment. Congrats on that baby girl!!!

I think *most* hurtful comments are not intentional. I've been on the receiving end of many lately and I think it is my sensitivity rather than their intention. I hope. I tend to look for the best in people.

[nuthinbutpink]

I think people just usually put their foot in their mouth. She's just a glass half-empty person. Instead of life being half full, it's half empty for her.

I wouldn't doubt your scan. I'm happy that you got to experience a little pink. How lovely that you have people in your life to do that for you!

[KnockYourBallsOff]

I think people aren't mean, they're just stupid sometimes and don't think about anyone's feelings. Congrats on your girl!!!! I hope I get that pink shower one day too! (and I can GUARANTEE there will be someone like your friend at mine too ;)

[angel in a pink sky]

Has she had a history of being negative towards you? If so, then I would be leary of her and keep a distance. If this was an isolated comment then we all say the wrong thing sometimes. My best friend has a daughter and I have two sons and she is always making comments towards me about having all boys. I get my heart broken everytime but I remind myself she loves me and does not know how much I am struggling with my GD. At her daughter's princess party she went up to my husband and said you will never have a princess party. He repsonded, "Oh yes I will. We will have a daughter or two even if we become a family of 30." Before you know it your daughter will be in your arms. I am very excited for you!

[purplepoet20]

A lot of people don't think first... We as people who are swaying for a desired child know the stress and sadness of trying and waiting. The only thing that matters is you have a healthy baby girl all snuggle waiting to see you!

[mommymachine]

Thanks everybody. Yes she has been negative towards me and my GD. Right after DS3 was born I told her how wonderful and happy I was with him but that I really wanted to try again for a girl. She immediately started telling me about the nicu she volunteers in and how she sees sick and in pain on a daily bases and that I should just be grateful for what I have. She doesn't have any kids and I just know its a case of her not understanding that I WAS grateful and am still. She just doesn't understand.

[dannikins]

i think people just dont think sometimes.....
she hasnt had to feel your feelings, so she has no idea how these things play in your mind.

its that very reason that im not finding out the gender of this one, i couldnt cope if they told me girl and it popped out with a willy, dont think i would ever recover from it.

[Loveychoc]

I hate it when people did not think before they speak! I have a similar story too. A couple of days ago DH's bro and his wife came over to visit us. They love playing with my DS (he's the cutest boy around - i'm biased i know). This couple are expecting a baby girl sometime early next year. Out of a suddent DH's bro said that he bumped into two DH's friends who just had baby boys... and he said " A had a boy, B had a boy.... SOOOO....all of your friends have boys only ya'know........" but my interpretation was like: hey all of your friends have boys, you have a boy.. in summary, DH and his friends are BOYS producer! The fact that they were expecting a baby girl they would probably feel so special inside knowing that (too many) others have boys, but they were able to have something different, a girl.

I don't want to get to stressed about it... i prayed that night seeking faith and comfort... that's the only think I could do.