Starting to feel a bit better about swaying

[xnicolax]

I swayed for a girl with DS4 using another site (choose the sex of your baby.com). All the research I have been doing over the past few weeks has made me see what went wrong. I basically did not do anywhere near enough, hardly anything in fact, and had no idea about my polycystic ovaries and how that would have an impact. I am supposedly doing my second round of IVF this summer but I have doubts about spending all of that money with nothing to show for it again. I am seriously thinking of starting to sway now, give myself 2 months prep time then TTC. If it doesnt happen, then maybe go ahead with my cycle. I cant help thinking it could happen for free? Im willing to put 1000% into it, DH will not be so co operative but he will take supplements ETC. What do yu think? Would I be silly to risk my chance at PGD?

[nuthinbutpink]

Well, if you have the resources and are okay with all that HT involves, IF you need/want a guarantee and a gender, that is the way to go. However, if you know you will be okay with an opposite and are just ready for another baby, there is data that shows swaying can sway your odds but it is swaying and not PGD.

Regarding the PCOS, have you consulted with your RE about that and how you can better quality/response? I am not aware of your first cycle details so I am not sure how it went but Michaela would be a great resource for that discussion.

[atomic sagebrush]

I believe in swaying with every fiber of my being but at the end of the day, it's only that, swaying. There are women who did everything "right" and still ended up with an opposite. The reason I put so much time into it is because I know there are millions of people out there who cannot/choose not to do HT for a variety of reasons and I want them to have the best shot at their DG. But it's never going to be the guarantee that HT is. Mother Nature has her own ideas about who should conceive what gender and regardless of what we do, there will always be many factors that are out of our control. This is especially true with PCOS, there are so many unknowns and uncontrollable factors, it's a challenge.

That having been said, I know HT is extremely grueling, especially when it has been unsuccessful in the past. Do you think that any of this is apprehension because you don't want to go through it again? How is your family handling it? Can you really afford it, or do you have concerns about the money? There are plenty of valid reasons not to go HT.

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't sway because there are a lot of people who decide to sway rather than go HT, I just want you to be really sure about your decisions and why you're making them - if it's a question of not wanting to have to pay for something you can get for free, to me, that's not a compelling reason to give up on high tech. If it's a question of, high tech is making you really sad and the thought of failing will destroy you and you really can't afford it, well then that may be a different matter and maybe you're right to reevaluate.

What would feel worse to you - walking away without your money and without a baby, or walking away with an opposite??

[xnicolax]

The main thing is money. We can afford another go, but it is at a cost, everything we have in fact. My house is in desperate need of work and we are all living under each others feet. It's stressfull and and makes me (and everyone else) unhappy. I could spend the money on a conservatory/playroom for the kids, maybe an attic conversion. It could make how we live much more manageable.

The thought of an opposite? Well its not something I want that's for sure. I know I would be heartbroken again, but I am certainI would get over it when the baby was here. I did not want DS4 to be a boy at all, and was given 97% chance success rate, lol (cant believe I fell for that one). But he is 18 months old now and he is meant to be here, I adore him. I know I would feel the same about any of my children. I suppose being pregnant with an opposite knowing I had a chance at PGD would be the hardest thing to deal with.

NBP, I tried to speak with the consultant about my pcos and what meds I used but here in the UK, they dont seem to want to aknowlege the fact that all FSH is not the same. I have a consultation with Dr Potter on monday. I'll see how I feel after that.

[nuthinbutpink]

Well, I am a big fan of existing family first...of course I want everyone to be able to get what they want but it is hard to sacrifice current existing members for something that may or may not be...tough call.

Regarding PCOS, you should not cycle again without addressing that. I would PM Michaela and get her thoughts too. I know she has consulted at various places and PCOS is one of the issues she is dealing with and is a wealth of information on the subject.

The fact that HT is so expesinve makes it such a high risk decision. I hope you figure out what is best and what your chances are with IVF because although the gender is a guarantee, we all know that taking home a baby at the end is not.