Doctors appointment - what a joke!

[rainbowflower]

I'm new to my surgery so don't know the doctors there and when making my appointment I asked to see someone knowledgeable about fertility. The receptionist said noone sprang to mind as a specialist but that they should all know that...

I went in this morning and told the doctor that my periods had returned in June when LO was 6 months, and that although my charts showed I was ovulating I had a luteal phase defect.
Her response? "What's that?" I was (nearly) speechless. I had to explain to her what it meant....

She then went on to ask if I was a specialist and how I knew all this, and pretty much dismissed me as soon as I said I'd researched it online.

She said that, "despite what other women online have said", there was nothing she could do and that I had to choose what I wanted more - to BF my son, or to give up so we can TTC again. That's rubbish!! I asked about progesterone supplements of any sort and she said that she wouldn't be giving me anything to mess around with OV and I explained that that's not what progesterone does. She still said no. TBH I can understand her not wanting to prescribe something when she doesn't understand the science behind it, but to say that there is NOTHING you can do to improve the situation when she is clearly has no knowledge on the area is just insulting.

I was worried that I'd be dismissed quickly but didn't think I'd feel so infuriated that I know more about this than she does and that her mind wasn't open to learn.

Rant over. Feel a bit better now.

[love being a mummy]

omg I think you need to see someone else, can't believe she didn't know that.

[Sunset]

i agree you need to see someone else... i would have been furious too!

[rainbowflower]

hmm perhaps I'll make another appointment then

having just had a read of the doctor profiles on the surgery website it seems that one of them qualified more recently and specifies an interest in "family planning" - although is that just pregnancy prevention and not so much of the fertility side of things?

[Out of the Blue]

hmm perhaps I'll make another appointment then

having just had a read of the doctor profiles on the surgery website it seems that one of them qualified more recently and specifies an interest in "family planning" - although is that just pregnancy prevention and not so much of the fertility side of things?

Sorry! How frustrating...I agree w/the others...get a different Dr.! Anyone qualified should know that stuff! Then again, my High Risk Fetal Med Dr. tried to tell me that there is no way I could know when I O'd (um, OPKs, checking cervix, charting and temping, etc!!!)...Sorry for my rant...story for another day!

rainbow, I would think that a fam planning doc would know that kind of stuff b/c fam planning isn't just prevention...

UGH! Good luck!!!

[Flava]

It is a shame that a lot of this doc's have no clue!! right? WTH did they learn ? You need a new doc for sure!

[amari]

So sorry. Doctors really dismiss that we know a lot about our bodies, it is a shame. I would try another to find another doctor,

[rainbowflower]

thank you, I certainly don't think I'll be asking to see her again... I'm hesitant now about going to see another doctor and getting the same reaction

[zanacal]

Ugh, I'm so sorry. That's terrible! I'd be tempted to make a complaint - or perhaps anonymously post her a copy of TCOYF?! The family planning person might be a better option.

[Lavenderlime]

That's awful rainbow! If you don't fancy going in Does your surgery do phone appointments? My Drs surgery are really good and you can request for a Dr to call you back. That way you can talk to another Dr. without having to go in and if they actually understand what you are asking them to do when you go in you know it will be just to get them to write a prescription.

Or do you have a family planning clinic that you could visit instead locally.

[Lavenderlime]

I think the problem with GP's is that it's such a wide spectrum of medicine that they have to learn that i'm sure some things get missed no excuse for her just dissmissing you though she should have called on another Dr. If she was unsure.

[DoulaMama]

When Dr's are in school to become GP's or MD's they spend ONE month on fertility and birth. That's it. So you DO know WAY more than this Dr. Of course there are things to help LP! And no, you don't have to stop nursing at all! Ugh this infuriates me!! If you can find someone else-heck even a midwife would know more-I would do that. This Dr. has no clue.Progesterone is the one thing that comes to mind for me...I know many women that need it to get and stay pregnant.

[rainbowflower]

lol Zana that made me laugh! I'm sure she could learn a lot from that book..

Lavender - yeah I can imagine that, this doctor has been a doctor for quite a long time, it surprises me that noone else has approached her with similar issues before. I'm kicking myself for not asking her at the time who else I could ask!

DM - Infuriates me too, no reason my DS has to miss out because we want to TTC. I think you're right that many must know more than her. Perhaps I was just unlucky that she was the one I was assigned to.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm new to my surgery so don't know the doctors there and when making my appointment I asked to see someone knowledgeable about fertility. The receptionist said noone sprang to mind as a specialist but that they should all know that...

I went in this morning and told the doctor that my periods had returned in June when LO was 6 months, and that although my charts showed I was ovulating I had a luteal phase defect.
Her response? "What's that?" I was (nearly) speechless. I had to explain to her what it meant....

She then went on to ask if I was a specialist and how I knew all this, and pretty much dismissed me as soon as I said I'd researched it online.

She said that, "despite what other women online have said", there was nothing she could do and that I had to choose what I wanted more - to BF my son, or to give up so we can TTC again. That's rubbish!! I asked about progesterone supplements of any sort and she said that she wouldn't be giving me anything to mess around with OV and I explained that that's not what progesterone does. She still said no. TBH I can understand her not wanting to prescribe something when she doesn't understand the science behind it, but to say that there is NOTHING you can do to improve the situation when she is clearly has no knowledge on the area is just insulting.

I was worried that I'd be dismissed quickly but didn't think I'd feel so infuriated that I know more about this than she does and that her mind wasn't open to learn.

Rant over. Feel a bit better now.

I am SO SO SORRY rainbow. That is just inexcusable. I know it's no consolation but I have had the same types of experiences again and again and quite frankly, I think doctors have made their own beds regarding people researching online because they are so incompetent that we have no choice.

PS - family planning may be NPF expert which is good, but then again may be someone who is very into "overpopulation" and pushing birth control onto you, which is bad.

((((hugs)))) and again, I really feel for you!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh and I wanted to let you know that my doctor was very supportive of TTC while nursing and also nursing all during pg and beyond (tandem nursing) so I do know there are docs out there who approve of it.

[rainbowflower]

thank you atomic. I'd love to tandem nurse if my DS still wants to BF then. I can't see him wanting to stop on his own accord any time soon as I swear he loves my boobs more than he loves me right now ;)

I agree, I should have told her I read books and research papers/publications instead... I get the impression she is not the internet-savvy sort.

[DoulaMama]

LOL! My 18mos old loves my boobs more than life itself, too! Although, the pain I have come 18w pregnant, while nursing, makes me want to run screaming everytime he wants to nurse:(

[rainbowflower]

ouch, in what way does it hurt now? my nipples have become desensitised by BF, does that return then?

[zanacal]

I breastfed DS2 when I was pregnant with DS3 and it was agony - I don't think it was a sensitive nipple thing, more of an internal pain - what I imagine it would feel like to have a Dyson attached to my boob!

[atomic sagebrush]

I'll give it to you straight, BF during pg was among the hardest things I have ever done in my life. NOT FUN at all but the benefits when the baby comes are SO huge that if you can hang on, I promise you won't be sorry. I didn't get engorged at all for the first time and my 3rd son was able to get some one-on-one mommy time that I think he really needed. I didn't have much milk at all for the last few months of pg and when he latched on again and there was milk, I swear I felt a wave of relief from him that was palpable. I don't think he ate any food at all that first week after I brought the new baby home!!!

It's not only painful, but there is something mental that happens to you and it makes it hard to continue. It's like you just don't want anyone touching you in that way. I actually had to stop frequently, get up, walk around, gather my wits, and start again. I'm sure there is some natural instinct that came into play. The baby will also get very fidgety and want to switch sides a lot because not a lot of milk is coming out.

[rainbowflower]

thank you for telling me how it really is! I was expecting it to be the same as it is now. I didn't get any breast size changes or sensitivity during my previous pregnancy so sort-of hoping it's the same next time too...

[atomic sagebrush]

I hope so too! Don't want to put you off of it because it was very rewarding in the end, but it wasn't easy! GL!

[rainbowflower]

I'm stubborn ;) , and it can't be worse than BF was when we first got started - agony! definitely worth it in the end

[DoulaMama]

Absolutely- it's very rewarding:) I found it exactly the same as Atomic- mentally challenging as well as physically painful. I had internal pain like Z:( It was like sucking milk out of a stone...LOL. By 18 w I have nothing left in me so my little guy tried so hard to get it out of me and decided to nurse longer than usual... Ahhhhhh!
The mentally difficult part - I felt like this animal instinct came over me(which is VERY common)and I wanted him OFF me NOW. I had to start counting down from 10 and then prying him off me otherwise I would have lost it. It's this weird, icky feeling to me...I'm sure it's nature kicking in, telling you to get that baby off because of the pregnancy or something. I would have loved to try to tandem but I just cannot emotionally handle nursing to the end of the pregnancy:( My 18 mos old has just been weaned. He wasn't really into it-just a morning nurse-so it was pretty easy to stop but I still feel guilt. My last baby is going to nurse until 4...I can see it now:) I hope that everything is super smooth, in the nursing department, for you during pregnancy:) Everyone's experience is so different. Know that if it does get tough you have others here that understand that feeling. It's good to chat about that stuff! Lots of luck, Rainbow!!!
xo

[rainbowflower]

DM - I read your reply out to my husband and he sounded quite surprised too. I guess you're right, it's our body's way of saying "don't give out any more nutrients, you and the new baby need them now"...

[rainbowflower]

well... I have booked another doctors appointment!
this time with the lady who says she has an interest in family planning on her bio on the website.

it's on Friday afternoon.

What should I say? how do I politely tell her that the other doctor didn't know much about this and I don't believe what she told me, and that I want a second opinion? for all I know they're best friends...

[carmella_marie]

I;ve taken B6 and it lengthened my LP from 9 to 12 days.

[rainbowflower]

how much did you take? it didn't seem to work for me last cycle and despite taking more my LP got shorter than the previous 2 cycles

[atomic sagebrush]

How did it go???

[rainbowflower]

the doctor was nicer and slightly more knowledgeable, but still got the same answer - that she had never heard of the phrase "luteal phase defect", and that "despite what you read on the internet, in this country we don't do anything to treat it". Especially in someone who is BF and who has been TTC less than a year. She advises letting nature take it's course and to keep BDing twice a week WITHOUT my DH releasing for himself...
she also advised me to stop using the internet to do this research, to avoid OPKs and temping, and to relax as often when women start to relax they get results, so she says. Wonder if she spotted my skeptical look!

Even though I specifically asked this time she refused to offer guidance on quantity of vit b6/vitex/progesterone cream to use if I chose to try that

[atomic sagebrush]

Good heavens. I am actually speechless.

I'm really sorry rainbow. :(

[zanacal]

rainbow - I'm sure deaks (SMOG thread) was prescribed progesterone cream for her luteal phase, might be worth asking her how she managed that!

[rainbowflower]

thanks zana, I'll ask!

atomic - nevermind I guess. I've submitted a question for babydoctor on here so we'll see what she recommends!

[atomic sagebrush]

Good luck!