How much does DH affect sway?!!

[Fabby123]

Hi there!

I am slowly planning my blue sway for next summer and have been getting myself frustrated at the fact that DH is just not really on board with swaying :( he loves our girls and is totally on board with having another baby. He just doesn’t believe in it at all! He truly thinks that it’s 50/50, sperm decides the sex and nothing either of us does will dictate what side the coin lands on (so to speak).

DH is fairly fit, loves cycling and running and has started competing triathlons which has really got me down as I feel it’s going to sway pink even further and any swaying I will do will be ruined! I guess I can’t shake the whole ‘sperm decides the sex’ school of thought and find it difficult to fully believe that I can have a boy.

DH’s defence is that there are plenty of endurance athletes that have sons as well as daughters, and he refuses to believe that it would affect a 50/50 sample. He will find flaws in any research papers that I google and discredit them. Wahhhh!!! Is it really possible for me to have a successful one-sided sway?! I’m prepared to make all the changes necessary to give myself the best possible odds, so I’m not worried about me, but I’m really worried his exercise (and also a love of caffeine) will ultimately give us another girl.

Feeling a bit hopeless 😭😢

[Tali.kah]

I think it's possible to have a one sided sway! My DH doesn't know I'm swaying or on this site gathering ideas ! Hahaha
Do everything you can on your part

For DH:
-make sure he's on a multi, 1000 iui vitamin D, omega 3, probiotic (it should be no issue to get him on these if he's into sports and health etc)
-practice 2-4 days BD or release to make sure he has ample and healthy swimmers
-maybe cut back on the cycling?

[Fabby123]

Ha thanks! Yes he’s happy to take whatever supplements I give him, although he’ll tell me it’s a load of rubbish 😂 and I’m hoping when we’re ttc he will switch from cycling and running to weight lifting, but I’m not sure..he may end up being stubborn on that one 😭.

Thanks for the support though!

[4blue2pink]

hi :) pink swayer here but my dh also doesnt sway, i believe he brings a lot of blue friendly stuff to the table but i cant change it/him so i just do what i can do and focus on what changes i can make :) most people's dh's dont sway at all and the stats are still really good so dont lose heart!

if you look at what you can change hopefully it might help you feel more positive :heart: do you feel like you were very pink friendly when you got your girls? good luck and i hope you get your boy!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it's possible to do a successful one sided sway. Even if he does nothing, you can change what YOU bring to the table and it helps!! Even Lance Armstrong has boys.

Don't waste your time and energy on trying to convince him. If he's willing to have another baby, that is GREAT (and honestly, better than a lot of us face!) Instead of despairing over what you can't change, focus on what you CAN change and you will still be upping your odds of having a boy. :) :bluecheer:

[atomic sagebrush]

Ha thanks! Yes he’s happy to take whatever supplements I give him, although he’ll tell me it’s a load of rubbish �� and I’m hoping when we’re ttc he will switch from cycling and running to weight lifting, but I’m not sure..he may end up being stubborn on that one ��.

Thanks for the support though!

While weightlifting sways blue when we ladies do it, there is no evidence it has the same effect for men and so it may not be a battle even worth fighting!

[atomic sagebrush]

I think it's possible to have a one sided sway! My DH doesn't know I'm swaying or on this site gathering ideas ! Hahaha
Do everything you can on your part

For DH:
-make sure he's on a multi, 1000 iui vitamin D, omega 3, probiotic (it should be no issue to get him on these if he's into sports and health etc)
-practice 2-4 days BD or release to make sure he has ample and healthy swimmers
-maybe cut back on the cycling?

:agree: best thing you guys can do to counteract the cycling/jogging is that regular release. Keep turning those troops over and it really does help.

[Fabby123]

hi :) pink swayer here but my dh also doesnt sway, i believe he brings a lot of blue friendly stuff to the table but i cant change it/him so i just do what i can do and focus on what changes i can make :) most people's dh's dont sway at all and the stats are still really good so dont lose heart!

if you look at what you can change hopefully it might help you feel more positive :heart: do you feel like you were very pink friendly when you got your girls? good luck and i hope you get your boy!!

Ah thanks, feeling a lot more positive now! Yes I was very pink friendly with the first two, but wasn’t swaying at all. With DD3 it was a half-hearted blue sway, mostly vegetarian, and I ended up stopping my supplements quite abruptly as they were starting to mess up my cycles. So you could say I wasn’t really swaying at all.

[atomic sagebrush]

It's great when we know there are things we can change!! Just let me know how I can help!!

[Fabby123]

Yes, it's possible to do a successful one sided sway. Even if he does nothing, you can change what YOU bring to the table and it helps!! Even Lance Armstrong has boys.

Don't waste your time and energy on trying to convince him. If he's willing to have another baby, that is GREAT (and honestly, better than a lot of us face!) Instead of despairing over what you can't change, focus on what you CAN change and you will still be upping your odds of having a boy. :) :bluecheer:

Thanks atomic! And good to know that the weight lifting may not matter. He is pretty sporty and competitive which may be a good thing (in terms of high testosterone?) and also high sex drive so he’ll have no problem with regular release. And he’ll eat whatever I cook, so diets an easy one.

Arrr just stressing myself out overthinking everything!

[atomic sagebrush]

Everyone always does!!! Just let me know how I can help.

FX FX FX and blue dust headed your way~

[4blue2pink]

While weightlifting sways blue when we ladies do it, there is no evidence it has the same effect for men and so it may not be a battle even worth fighting!

im so happy to see this :) i just assumed it would sway blue for men too and my dh wouldnt give up his weightlifting for anything, i always saw it as one of the things i just couldnt change, he is starting to do a little bit of running now and is looking at actively losing quite a bit of weight so im just taking all this as a bonus and hoping it helps!!

Fabby123 it sounds like there is lots that you can change :D i have everything crossed for blue for you!!

[aira22]

Hi, I was in the same situation as you are now. I did a one sided sway. DH also doesn't believe in swaying and so the only thing he did was not loosing weight but really it was an excuse for not thinking about calories and living out the couch potato. He gained more weight than I did LOL But no supplements, kept on with caffeine and occasionally smoking and drinking :mad: So I did the works alone as good as I could Luckily I got pregnant the first try. Now I am nervous for the "sway result" haha

[Throwaway_panther]

Just tagging in because I relate! We went through alot to figure out we can in fact make boys, but whether we can make healthy boys was the question -- specifically because of DH's sperm.

I managed to get him to do small changes over time -- supplements were generally easy, since he's got a history of bodybuilidng (non steroid use -- and see ladies, you can get a girl with a muscley hubby, haha). For him, he complained about me axing his occasional cigar smoking and DEFINITELY had issues with me watching his alcohol intake. We went steps further too once we learned my losses and our IVF failures were because of his sperm, but I managed to get him to ice (trust me -- this was accomplished by me always having to adjust the ice and do some fondling for him lol; this was our compromise) -- and I'm not saying whether icing sways boy or not, but there is definitely some firm research into its support and restoration of healthy sperm, which was our issue.

Since I am 19 weeks pregnant, DH has started biking again (after almost 3 years hiatus). This has been a bone of contention between us -- our compromise is "okay, you have to ice the night of your biking."

I am a bit more "hands on" with DH then others, and I know this is hard for many. In our case, I could only do so much one sided once it came into play that DH was likely CAUSING our losses! But I have certainly been doing my own sway stuff for the last 2.5 years so I can speak to that too :P

[Fabby123]

Haha I doubt my DH would be too happy about icing but it’s definitely something I could suggest nearer the time! I’m going to try and get him to cut back on sports around 3 months prior to the attempt and hope that he agrees and that it helps. He really wants us to go for another, it’s just difficult as he genuinely doesn’t care what gender it is and doesn’t believe in any of the research!! Fighting a losing battle wahhh 😭 but lots I will do myself so not all bad!

[atomic sagebrush]

im so happy to see this :) i just assumed it would sway blue for men too and my dh wouldnt give up his weightlifting for anything, i always saw it as one of the things i just couldnt change, he is starting to do a little bit of running now and is looking at actively losing quite a bit of weight so im just taking all this as a bonus and hoping it helps!!

Fabby123 it sounds like there is lots that you can change :D i have everything crossed for blue for you!!

Anecdotally we have seen tons of GIRLS conceived to weightlifters and it's even a thing on weightlifting websites as well - the guys who lift have lots of girls.

[atomic sagebrush]

Haha I doubt my DH would be too happy about icing but it’s definitely something I could suggest nearer the time! I’m going to try and get him to cut back on sports around 3 months prior to the attempt and hope that he agrees and that it helps. He really wants us to go for another, it’s just difficult as he genuinely doesn’t care what gender it is and doesn’t believe in any of the research!! Fighting a losing battle wahhh �� but lots I will do myself so not all bad!

DO NOT ICE BALLS. Just because heat damages them, does NOT mean that ice resurrects them from the dead. This is one of those things where you guys torture your husbands for no effect because unless he is doing it for many hours a day for months at a time (2-3 hours a day for 3-6 months prior to attempt) it is probably having no effect and icing for 10 minutes before sex does NOTHING AT ALL. I have a full explanation of that in this thread. https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/62485-family-jewels-faq-blue-pink.html

[Throwaway_panther]

Just to clarify for myself: exactly what atomic said -- the benefits of icing isn't a "10 min before DTD on O day" but a longterm thing (the longer the better) because it can't immediately counteract the effects of heat and what not, but somehow seems to help the sperm down the line. And I didn't do it for gender (though obviously I hoped it would help that). Maybe you could argue that better quality sperm = better chances of boys based on a lot of theories, but if your partner has normal DNA, count and morphology, I think there's literally no point to it.

Since I've talked with a lot of people in loss groups about this, here's some evidence (in addition to a urologist saying it's a recommended thing for varicoceles) for anyone interested in reading more! I believe the makers of the "cool pac" undies for men are also conducting a continuing study but don't quote me on that -- I might be confusing sources there.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18076419
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12128094
Improvement of semen quality by nocturnal scrotal cooling and moderate behavioural change to reduce genital heat stress in men with oligoasthenoteratozoospermia (http://www.reproduction-online.org/content/121/4/595.full.pdf+html)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3959246
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1365-2605.2004.00517.x/abstract
http://www.goldjournal.net/article/S0090-4295(84)80006-0/pdf
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1157962
http://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/338926
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3404923/

Summary: Cooling, often specifically with ice, the testicles helps spermatogenesis and improves all factors of sperm (count, etc.) within weeks to months, with best improvements seen with 30 to 60 min for 3 to 6 months.

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: yes exactly. I am talking about the kind of "icing" recommended on swaying sites where women are putting ice on their husbands for 10 minutes before an attempt. There is no point to that for anyone. ONLY a concerted effort of icing for a considerable period of time (whether that is 30 minutes or 3 hours, who knows, somewhere in there, different sources say different things) daily for 3-6 months or longer will help. If you can't do that, then please don't torture your husband over something that has never been proven to help anyway and that most husbands HATE. (really puts a damper on the 3-5 attempts in the fertile window too BTW)

Thanks for the links, Panther!

[Fabby123]

Anecdotally we have seen tons of GIRLS conceived to weightlifters and it's even a thing on weightlifting websites as well - the guys who lift have lots of girls.

So do you think that guys who spend a lot of time doing sports in general (cycling, etc as well as weight lifting) are more likely to produce girls?? This is why I’m planning to try and get DH to cut down as much as I can around 3 months before our attempt..hoping it’ll help!

And won’t bother trying to ice haha!

[atomic sagebrush]

I suspect that based on studies that show jogging and biking sway pink, the anecdotal evidence from the weightlifting sites (but this ~may~ be due to supplements that they are taking and NOT weightlifting per se; we've also had some natural weightlifters on the site who did not take supplements and had all boys), and the fact that we've had several professional athletes (well, their wives!) among the people who bought custom sway plans. A pro hockey player, a pro BMX biker (actually TWO of these guys believe it or not), a pro rugby player, and a pro American football player and some other very serious athletes as well they all got blue plans. Small sample size but it's interesting.

All that having been said we do see among pro athletes in the public eye, both boys and girls being born so this is in no way a magic bullet but just something to be aware of.

If he won't do it, he won't do it and we have to take care not to ask him to do too much. :)

[4blue2pink]

Anecdotally we have seen tons of GIRLS conceived to weightlifters and it's even a thing on weightlifting websites as well - the guys who lift have lots of girls.

i didnt realise it was such thing :) could that be linked to steroids/supplements? id imagine the caffeine loaded pre-workouts (some of which sound insane!!) would be very pink friendly especially if they are drinking that stuff almost daily. i guess you could call it the unhealthy side to weightlifting, with the guys more into all that more likely to have lots of girls.

[4blue2pink]

sorry atomic i just saw your latest post! my dh is also one of the no supplement weightlifters with loads of boys!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes that's what we speculate about. We have had a few natural weight lifters on here (no supps) with all boys. But it's just sheer speculation. I really do believe that by far and away it is what WE women do that matters most in the weight training/diet department and what hubby brings to the table is secondary. :)