shiroshiro
August 19th, 2018, 10:59 PM
I was pregnant for the first time earlier this year. We tried for 2 cycles and I got my first BFP ever in May. That feeling of being pregnant for the first time was a wonderous and beautiful thing, I was fascinated and excited upon every day. Made it past the first trimester, told all my family and friends, even had a few scans after 13 weeks with the "all-clear, all good" results.
Then the NIPT revealed that there was an issue and we had to go through the tortuous decision of what to do. It was a little baby girl. My husband wanted a girl so badly, he was heartbroken. I never told him I was TTC boy for our first. It was all too difficult already. At that point, whilst we were waiting for confirmed results of the chromosome issue, all I wanted was just for our first baby to be healthy and to be able to grow up with us. I wanted my baby so badly, I felt terribly guilty for even wanting to have swayed in the first place.
We had to have an emergency D&E because any day later, they would have made me go through induction of labour, and basically give birth to a baby I will never get to meet and watch grow up.
I'm still recovering emotionally from this, since it was the first time I've ever entered the pregnancy-world and I feel like I have nothing to even fall back on. I'm terrified that the D&E (since it's a more complicated surgery than a D&C) has scarred me and left me in a physically more-difficult situation to conceive. I feel as though my chances of conceiving has been knocked down a few notches. Including my ability to feel as wonderous and "glowy" as I was the first time around.
I do want to stick to the TTC-boy diet because it seems more productive to fertility. I was previously vegetarian but during my first pregnancy which ended, I switched to a meat-inclusive diet just to ensure I got enough protein and iron etc. I'll eat anything as long as it renders my body to heal again, and to be able to conceive again.
Happy to hear from any challenges or success stories from the people in this forum.
Then the NIPT revealed that there was an issue and we had to go through the tortuous decision of what to do. It was a little baby girl. My husband wanted a girl so badly, he was heartbroken. I never told him I was TTC boy for our first. It was all too difficult already. At that point, whilst we were waiting for confirmed results of the chromosome issue, all I wanted was just for our first baby to be healthy and to be able to grow up with us. I wanted my baby so badly, I felt terribly guilty for even wanting to have swayed in the first place.
We had to have an emergency D&E because any day later, they would have made me go through induction of labour, and basically give birth to a baby I will never get to meet and watch grow up.
I'm still recovering emotionally from this, since it was the first time I've ever entered the pregnancy-world and I feel like I have nothing to even fall back on. I'm terrified that the D&E (since it's a more complicated surgery than a D&C) has scarred me and left me in a physically more-difficult situation to conceive. I feel as though my chances of conceiving has been knocked down a few notches. Including my ability to feel as wonderous and "glowy" as I was the first time around.
I do want to stick to the TTC-boy diet because it seems more productive to fertility. I was previously vegetarian but during my first pregnancy which ended, I switched to a meat-inclusive diet just to ensure I got enough protein and iron etc. I'll eat anything as long as it renders my body to heal again, and to be able to conceive again.
Happy to hear from any challenges or success stories from the people in this forum.