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View Full Version : Is it wrong that I don't want to go?



annabel♥lee
November 25th, 2011, 11:18 PM
My mom is trying to start this tradition where me, her, my sister, and my sister's daughter go to tea at this place around Christmas time.

I went last year and hated every minute of it because of course it was ALL ABOUT my 3 year old neice. Well, now I have two neices going, a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I know it's not meant to be hurtful to me, but I HATE it. It's so painful. Of course my mom already paid for me to go tomorrow. Ugh.

To make matters worse, my mom favors the girl grandkids and I have to watch her sit there at tea and go on and on and dote on the freaking girls. Now that I'm pregnant and don't know what I'm having yet, I REALLY don't want to go. I'm crying right now just thinking about it. Of course my mom and sister have no idea how I feel and they never will understand because they both got their girls easily. If I say I don't want to go they'll act like I'm some bitch.

:( :( :(

Hobbermittens
November 26th, 2011, 12:16 AM
That sounds awful, and I don't blame you for not wanting to go. The day before, I would call your mom and sister and say that you are sick. That way they can't give you grief for not going. If it is really that painful for you, you should definitely stay home!

CapricornAquarius
November 26th, 2011, 12:49 AM
That is so unfair, if I felt uncomfortable about something my mum was doing, i'd pluck up the courage & just talk to her about it, the more you keep it bottled up the worse it is.

Cinss
November 26th, 2011, 01:13 AM
Oh annabel, don't go, you are pregnant and you need to be stress free. I'd probably say i was feeling too tired, or even, it's not really my thing mum, you and sis go and have a nice time.

zanacal
November 26th, 2011, 03:44 AM
I would feel the same way - if she's taking her daughters and her grandchildren out, shouldn't your children be invited too?! {hugs}

nuthinbutpink
November 26th, 2011, 06:49 AM
I can see it from your sister's side though because I am the one with the girls in our family and my sis has 2 boys. I'm not sure if we would ever do something specific to girls but I would want my sister to come if I was going with our mom to have a nice outing for the holidays. Did they actually say you can't bring your boys?

I think it is fine to mention or ask if it could be a family tradition that includes all her grandkids and not just the girls. They might ASSUME you don't want to bring your boys or that they would not be interested in having tea. You're going to have to bring it up and they may have no idea that you would be affected by this.

People are generally lost in their own worlds and what you think should be totally obvious to them may just be lost on them instead. I think you can bring in up with your mom and see how she responds. She may surprise you.

annabel♥lee
November 26th, 2011, 10:53 PM
So, my mom called tonight and told me how "wonderful" the tea was and how Charlotte just loved it, blah blah blah. *puke*

I mentioned her starting a tradition for the boys and her reaction was "I disagree." Well, thanks Mom, you've successfully made me feel worse then before.

CapricornAquarius
November 26th, 2011, 11:44 PM
:hug2:

zanacal
November 27th, 2011, 03:35 AM
Oh no, that's horrible. I'm sorry.

princesssarah34
November 27th, 2011, 10:41 PM
annabel That sounds awful!!! The boys should be included in something special too! Sorry but my having all boys this made me a little mad...and she isn't even my Mom! Wishing I could give you a big hug and plan a special something for your boys!:hugs:

nuthinbutpink
November 27th, 2011, 10:44 PM
I'm sorry.

Hobbermittens
November 27th, 2011, 11:56 PM
Wow, really? That's awful! Take it upon yourself to start the tradition, then! Invite your mom, your sister and her kids, and if they don't join you, then it's their loss--it will be a special thing you do yearly with your boys. Don't let your mom ruin your xmas!

begonia
November 28th, 2011, 08:21 AM
Wow, really? That's awful! Take it upon yourself to start the tradition, then! Invite your mom, your sister and her kids, and if they don't join you, then it's their loss--it will be a special thing you do yearly with your boys. Don't let your mom ruin your xmas!

Love this idea! I'm so sorry you're hurting, but I like Hobber's plan to try to turn it to something positive. HUGS!