I need "return to life" program to cope with GD!

[Loveychoc]

I have a 14mo DS and been experiencing GD since i was pregnant with him. When i found out i was going to have a boy, I completely freaked out and felt so disappointed. I thought I was going to get a girl first as i thought I would be a better girl mum, compared to being a boy mum. DH also wanted a girl as he doesn't have any sisters and his family is very boy heavy. DH's father comes from one of five boys and DH himself is one out three boys, and of 20 male cousins (with only 1 female cousin). Looking at this, it really freaks me out that I'd be 'cursed' having boys only lol!.

I am *truly* enjoying my life with DS's presence. I used to think I would not be so happy by having a son, but I am truly blessed that he comes to me and that God chose him to be my son. However, i (and DH) am still longing for a presence of DD in our family. I am still under big pressure (and GD) from last time that I am still VERY AFRAID to ttc and still very traumatised with flashbacks from my pregnancy time and numerous ultrasounds confirming that DS was a boy afterall.

For one moment, I want to take GD away from me and just enjoy my time with DS alone - so what sort of thing can I do that will completely switch my mind off ttc-ing, gender selection, etc? I am already living a busy life and with looking after DS in between, but when every second my mind is blank, it would always turn itself on to GD "mode". So ladies, how did you cope with your GD ?

[TTC5]

I'm not sure there have been any ways for me to be honest. But I do think it is great to have a place like this to come and vent/cry get it all out!!

[Loveychoc]

TTC5, I am from Australia too!

I know this is the only place that we can share similar stories without being laughed at! Everybody in this place knows that it feels like "being in our shoes".

Recently i just found out that DH's brother and his wife is expecting their first baby and turns out to be a girl... you know what's the rest of the story i'm going to write... as expected of course i was upset; how come they get a girl BEFORE i have a girl first... I didn't know why i was thinking like that. With DH's family being boy heavy, I feel like I want to tell them & prove that I, myself, can have a girl - I'm being competitive huh?? and the fact that they're the only one from DH's paternal family having a girl, of course they'd feel so special and that makes me a feel like a s**t. My intention is not to compete with anybody, the in-laws can think whatever they think but when seeing someone else is living my dream life, it makes me feel so down and makes me believe that the grass is always greener on the other side.

I am now sitting at my office desk having a HUGE headache and want to throw up. GD has affected me physically i guess.

I don't mean to be un-appreciative person (is there such word?). If I was asked if i wanted to change everything, i would say I would NOT change anything, I can see how my life now fits me so well...I cannot imagine for not having my DS, It's all God's plan afterall.... but at the back of my mind I kept thinking - will I also be blessed with a daughter? I can't stop thinking about it sometimes until I fall sick!

[TTC5]

Where is Australia are you?

Everything you wrote many of us can relate to ((hugs))

[Cinss]

Those thoughts don't really go away, so when they come, try not to attatch negativity to them. Try visualising your DD in a positive way and hold onto the hope that your dream will come true.

[CapricornAquarius]

I think most of us think the grass is greener on the other side, but we've always got to remember there's always going to be people out there who want exactly what you've got, im so dying for a son but am grateful that i have my girls.
Your so lucky to have a son, you know, i really hope you get your daughter, but having gd, i really dont think it goes away you just learn to accept what God has given you.

[begonia]

but having gd, i really dont think it goes away you just learn to accept what God has given you.

ITA ... all we can do is at some point get to a place of acceptance. Here I sit never having had ANY desire for a DD and yet I have my 3rd on the way.

Do keep in mind this site is very heavy with those of us with one gender after 2+ babies; IRL people have PP all.the.time. You still have a really, really good shot at a DD you know, so instead of being down about not having one now/thinking it won't happen, try as hard as you can to focus on the hope you still have. You're going to have another baby, and it could be HER. You still have hope and that's a pretty powerful antidote to GD. It's what kept me going after 2DD, I knew we'd have one more, so I was able to enjoy the 2 I had. When your thoughts turn negative just try to remember you still have hope!

[begonia]

Also, HUGS. It's not an easy place to be and I'm so sorry you're in it.