Is it possible to only be able to genetically carry one gender?

[blessedmama2]

Atomic- I know the name of my post sounds ridiculous, but I truly wonder about this. I have two perfect healthy boys that I had no trouble conceiving or staying pregnant with. Started trying for number 3 a year ago when the baby was 2. I started swaying over a year ago(didn’t sway with the boys), and got pregnant 4 times with what seems to be all chromosome issues. I’m 12 weeks pregnant now with what we just found out is a boy with no risk for the chromosome issues(thank God!). I’m wondering if I just can’t genetically carry girls? And maybe all of my losses were girls. I was on femara and couldn’t have had a more perfect sway in addition to that. I truly thought this was my girl.


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[sunstars]

I'm sorry you didn't hear girl. I have pretty similar situation. I have 2 boys which I conceived easily and without swaying, then accidental complicated pregnancy with twin girls, which didn't end well, then I tried swaying, and in about 10 months I ttc I had one chemica! And one miscarriage at 9 weeks, and now pregnant with another boy. I also used femara for swaying, and although I was pretty loose in terms of swaying after 10 months, but still thought I had a good chance.
Anyway, I have also wondered about the same issue as you, especially after a few people told me about that, and here's what atomic thinks about being able to have only boys/girls.

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/swaying-studies-and-scientific-research/824-you-cant-carry-baby-gender.html

https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/47852-we-only-dont-make-boys.html

I guess we were just not lucky this time to get out girls.

[blessedmama2]

That link didn’t work for me, but maybe I can dig around on the site and find it. Thanks for sharing!

I’m so sorry for your losses!! I suspect that I had a least one girl, but to lose twin girls. I’m just so sorry!! I know I should be grateful after so many miscarriages that this baby is so far healthy, but it’s still so hard. I really thought this had to be a girl. I look around and almost every family with more than 2 children have one of each, and they probably didn’t sway or have miscarriages. So my biggest question is why not me? But then again, I’m so grateful for the healthy children I do have and I know some women can’t have children at all. And then I feel guilty for having gender disappointment. It’s such a complicated emotion. Also, we always talked about 4 kids so I would have had another chance, but with a failed sway (if it didn’t work with this sway I had, it just won’t work) as well as my fertility issues, we are definitely done after this one. I can’t talk about this to anyone in real life, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone and can get my feelings out to someone who definitely gets it. Thank you!


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[sunstars]

Oops, sorry, please try again, and I added another one in my previous post.

[sunstars]

Yeah, I understand you so well. We also thought about four initially, but with losses these past few years, I'll be 40 when. Ds3 will be born, and my health and ability to get and stay pregnant declined. I still imagine hearing girl on my next ultrasound (I'm 14 weeks now), but I understand it's impossible, since I've been told 99 per cent and saw things clearly myself. At the same time I'm so afraid to loose this baby, so there is also guilt, that I'm not happy and grateful enough after so much heartache we went through.
Also just yesterday we talked about possibility to have two or more successful or unsuccessful sways in a row, and as atomic said there is no guarantee either way, so each sway is about 70% of chance regardless of previous sway's result. But of course, it's so scary to try again and not get what you hoped for.
Yeah, it's really nice to be able to talk to someone who understands. Thank you too for sharing and listening.

[blessedmama2]

Thanks, that worked!


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[blessedmama2]

I feel the exact same way. This boy is SO wanted!! And I still worry so much about losing him too. My feelings are separate-so excited about another boy; so sad about never having a girl. So when I get sad that I’m not having a girl, I imagine the sweet boy that God made exactly for us and it helps some. And I know that this is our last baby, and I hope that taking the obsession of one day having a girl away completely may make me mourn the loss and move on for good. I’m 36 so I know I could possibly try for another, but I’m not very confident in swaying anymore and know I would end up with twin boys-ha! And if I’m being honest, I would be only trying for a girl, not just another child regardless of gender like this one.


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[blessedmama2]

Oh, and I know what you mean...I keep dreaming that I heard the nurse wrong and she really said “female” fetus or she read the results wrong. Deep down I know that’s not the case though! I will probably try to convince myself I still have hope till I see boy parts [emoji6]


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[atomic sagebrush]

I think Sun already posted these but just in case they are not working I have full explanation here:

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/swaying-studies-and-scientific-research/824-you-cant-carry-baby-gender.html

And here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/47852-we-only-dont-make-boys.html

While there is a proven genetic reason that some women might have difficulty carrying a boy 1/2 the time (X based genetic abnormality that would affect half her male offspring) there has never been any biological reason as to why a woman might not be able to conceive and carry a girl.

For reasons no one knows, some women who have a boy for their first child have a slightly increased risk of miscarriage vs. those who have a girl for their first child. Speculation abounds as to why that is (possibly autoimmune) but it has NOTHING to do with the lost baby's gender. There are also many things that seem to disproportionately affect women who may be more "set" for blue - PCOS, Hashimoto's, certain autoimmune diseases - all of which raise the risks of losses. So just because you've had boys and losses this does not translate into "I am losing girls because I can only carry boys". It is much more likely that there is something occurring that both raises your chances of conceiving a boy and also raises your risk of miscarriage as well.

I do additionally want to point out that in addition to possibly having an increased risk of miscarriage if your first was a boy, some of us just seem to get into these weird phases with our bodies where we have several losses in a row and then our bodies get things figured out and then it's back on track again. I have seen this occur wtih both girl and boy moms. For whatever reason, people will mysteriously have a loss or two or even several, and then are still able to have a normal pregnancy (often more than one) afterwards - of varying genders. No pattern to it. There are just unknown causes of losses most of the time and we never know why. So it was very possible that for whatever unknown reason, you had a combination of bad luck + unknown factors that caused you to have several losses, and then as soon as your body was able, you conceived a healthy pregnancy and it just happened to be a boy this time.

I'm so sorry for your losses and that your sway has not gone as you hoped. Please let me know how I can help.

[atomic sagebrush]

That link didn’t work for me, but maybe I can dig around on the site and find it. Thanks for sharing!

I’m so sorry for your losses!! I suspect that I had a least one girl, but to lose twin girls. I’m just so sorry!! I know I should be grateful after so many miscarriages that this baby is so far healthy, but it’s still so hard. I really thought this had to be a girl. I look around and almost every family with more than 2 children have one of each, and they probably didn’t sway or have miscarriages. So my biggest question is why not me? But then again, I’m so grateful for the healthy children I do have and I know some women can’t have children at all. And then I feel guilty for having gender disappointment. It’s such a complicated emotion. Also, we always talked about 4 kids so I would have had another chance, but with a failed sway (if it didn’t work with this sway I had, it just won’t work) as well as my fertility issues, we are definitely done after this one. I can’t talk about this to anyone in real life, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone and can get my feelings out to someone who definitely gets it. Thank you!


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Well, you never know, many people I know with only two have had miscarriages along the way.

But yes, this is still something that gets to me. I look around and see everyone I know in real life have a boy and a girl or a girl and a boy just that easily and then I had nothing but boys for 20 years and had to do all this stuff just to get one girl, and many other people who are totally deserving and I want this for so very badly, don't get even one. It's hard not to feel resentful sometimes.

I do really want to urge you to sway again if you try again. You guys, it's so easy to have this mistaken notion that sways fail because they weren't good enough or something, and so when you have a perfect sway, you think "welp, that's it, swaying obviously can't work for me, I may as well give up" but you have no way of knowing why you got an opposite! Even under ideal circumstances it is only possible to sway so much. If it was possible to sway our way to 100% success rates, we'd see some tribe out there or religious group or extreme dieters who have wildly skewed gender ratios totally on accident but we don't. It is only possible to sway a certain amount or else the entire human race would have died out long ago.

If you had a great sway, it is entirely likely you got yourself to 70, even 75% (which is the best anyone can hope for based on our results) and then just fell into that 25% opposites. So next time, if you don't sway and just follow your normal, blue friendly lifestyle, you may be coming into TTC 70-75% likely to have a boy!! It makes no sense to me not to sway. Swaying isn't perfect but after I got my 4th boy, I would have took 50-50 odds instead of the 100% boys I'd gotten up till then, LOL.

[blessedmama2]

Thank you for this, Atomic! And I do not regret swaying at all! And I thank you for this site and for all of your help along the way. I know if I didn’t sway, I would always wonder what if. It’s crazy (and if I’m being totally honest, a little unfair) to me that I most likely was up to 75% and still didn’t get a girl(and had 4 losses where I’m sure at least one was a girl.) I am a firm believer in God and I knew it was ultimately up to him... but I’m glad I swayed and did everything I personally could do. To be honest, I did it for so long it became the new lifestyle for me[emoji6] So, if for some reason we have another it will be a surprise (and a miracle since I won’t be on all of my fertility Arsenal that has gotten me this far in this pregnancy) and maybe I will go back to the girl-friendly lifestyle naturally and have one [emoji1317][emoji6] But after this horrible year of so many losses, I know we won’t try again. Thank you again so much!!


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[blessedmama2]

I think Sun already posted these but just in case they are not working I have full explanation here:

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/swaying-studies-and-scientific-research/824-you-cant-carry-baby-gender.html

And here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/47852-we-only-dont-make-boys.html

While there is a proven genetic reason that some women might have difficulty carrying a boy 1/2 the time (X based genetic abnormality that would affect half her male offspring) there has never been any biological reason as to why a woman might not be able to conceive and carry a girl.

For reasons no one knows, some women who have a boy for their first child have a slightly increased risk of miscarriage vs. those who have a girl for their first child. Speculation abounds as to why that is (possibly autoimmune) but it has NOTHING to do with the lost baby's gender. There are also many things that seem to disproportionately affect women who may be more "set" for blue - PCOS, Hashimoto's, certain autoimmune diseases - all of which raise the risks of losses. So just because you've had boys and losses this does not translate into "I am losing girls because I can only carry boys". It is much more likely that there is something occurring that both raises your chances of conceiving a boy and also raises your risk of miscarriage as well.

I do additionally want to point out that in addition to possibly having an increased risk of miscarriage if your first was a boy, some of us just seem to get into these weird phases with our bodies where we have several losses in a row and then our bodies get things figured out and then it's back on track again. I have seen this occur wtih both girl and boy moms. For whatever reason, people will mysteriously have a loss or two or even several, and then are still able to have a normal pregnancy (often more than one) afterwards - of varying genders. No pattern to it. There are just unknown causes of losses most of the time and we never know why. So it was very possible that for whatever unknown reason, you had a combination of bad luck + unknown factors that caused you to have several losses, and then as soon as your body was able, you conceived a healthy pregnancy and it just happened to be a boy this time.

I'm so sorry for your losses and that your sway has not gone as you hoped. Please let me know how I can help.

Thank you...this made me feel a lot better!


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[atomic sagebrush]

Aw huge hugs blessed - it's totally fine to regret swaying and even to make an atomic sagebrush dartboard and throw darts at me, LOL. I just hate to see people get a sway opposite and then give up the idea of swaying because it still helps, even though it cannot ever be 100%.

My point is that even under ideal circumstances people get no higher than 75% success rate (I am not saying YOU or anyone else HAD that, but just that is what the statistics seem to indicate our best success rate is). You may have been at 55% or 65% but the main thing is, according to our numbers, people with blue lifestyles really do get more boys and peopel with pink lifestyles really do get more girls so by going from a blue lifestyle to a pink lifestyle you are upping your chances even though swaying is not a guarantee. I hope that makes sense.

Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy and much joy moving forward in life. :)

[blessedmama2]

Yes, that made perfect sense. And I really would sway again if we were going to try again. But I did everything I could do, and I have peace in that...and the truth is I really am excited about a third boy! I am bummed that I will never get to experience a daughter, but I do look forward to granddaughters! And meeting my girl(s) in heaven one day. Thanks again so much and for your kind words!


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