LOTS OF QUESTIONS!

[xokatietatie]

I am brand new to all of this and I have SO MANY questions. I'll apologize in advance because I am sure a lot of these questions have been asked before.

I will start by saying, I am very confused by a lot of this. I don't know when O happens for me because I've never tracked it before. Whenever my DH and I decided we wanted a baby we just DTD and got a BFP without much thought of worry. We've been very lucky and blessed. However, after having three DS, I am desperate for our fourth and final child to be a GIRL!

I've been doing research for a while now. Some things I get. Some things I kind of get. Some things I don't get at all.

I know DH either needs to abstain or FR to lower his sperm count. I also know it will help if he takes a hot shower before we DTD. But which is better, FR or abstaining?

I know I need a low pH level, and there are ways I can achieve that -- diet, supplements, cranberry, sudafed, douching, etc... Where can I find what I need to test my levels, and what all works best?

The stuff that worries me most is when O happens. It seems that O+12 has a lot of success, but how do I know when to DTD? I know the digital clear blue OPK will give me a smiley, but how early can it give the positive, and how long do you wait after you get it to DTD?

I wish I had a little fairy that put everything into simple English for me, and would tell me step by step what to do!

I'm sorry if I seem like I am rambling or that I don't really know what I am talking about.

Any help, advice and answers are greatly appreciated!

[dramabird]

Greetings! I am sure others will chime in, including our beloved headmistress Atomic -- :) -- but I can at least throw a bit of info your way.

My understanding is that abstaining is considered quite a good option unless A) your DH is older than 35 or B) your DH simply cannot bear the notion of going 7-10 days, um, pleasure-free. :) In the case of either A or B, FR can be a very good alternative. FR can be tough for some men to sustain, though, especially if they're taking licorice root, which helps to lower testosterone. See Atomic's essay here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/2728-abstaining-frequent-release-mixing-cutoff-o-12-a.html

You're going to get different advice here than over at InGender, but I think the common beliefs here are to pick baby aspirin instead of cranberry (see Atomic's info on why here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/7086-how-lower-ph-via-supps-cran-baby-aspirin-aspartame-other-techniques.html) and to use antihistamines instead of Sudafed (some Atomic info here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-girl-best-practices/518-using-antihistamines-help-ttc-girl.html).

Some folks go the cal-mag supplement route, others don't ... it depends how ingrained the InGender stuff is in us. :) A lot of us are going low-everything across the board (low calories, low fat, low protein, low nutrients).

Finally, the other prevailing theory 'round these parts is that timing is the least impactful of sway factors. Here's Atomic's essay on O+12: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/1293-o-12-part-3-advantages-disadvantages-o-12-a.html. For me personally, I have no idea how I would pinpoint it that closely. Between taking my temperatures every morning (charted on Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting (http://www.fertilityfriend.com)) and using a Clearblue Easy ovulation monitor borrowed from a friend, I can pretty much figure out which *day* I ovulated ... but getting it down to the hour? Hardly! Plus, that kind of stress can't do one's testosterone levels any favors. At this point, I'm thinking DH and I will DTD as soon as I get a peak sign on my monitor ... probably about 36 hours prior to ovulation. With the other things I'm including in my sway (abstaining, RepHresh and Sylk), I don't want to diminish my chances so much I can't get pregnant at all.

Again, this only touches on some of your questions, but hopefully it's a start. Good luck!!

[xokatietatie]

Thanks so much for your response and all the links! I will read all of those right away.

I just recently stumbled upon both forums and joined as well.

[xokatietatie]

So I see that baby aspirin would be better that cranberries... and zyrtec would be better than sudafed. Those are easy changes for me. I will plan on using rePhresh as needed. I need to find a good way to to test mt pH levels. I saw the Hanna tester posted somewhere on the forum. Are there any good strips I could use instead?

Also, if X sperm do actually prefer thick/sticky CM (which is why I'm guessing people try O+12) can't you achieve that with the zyrtec rather than try to pinpoint the right time to DTD? Timing is definitely my biggest concern, and I don't want to get myself stressed out over it. As long as I am taking baby aspirin, keeping pH levels down by using rePhresh as needed, drinking things like Crystal Light with aspartame in it, plus following diet, do I really need to obsess over timing?

[zanacal]

No, I don't think you do need to stress over timing or checking your pH! The easiest thing to do is to take OPKs and have your one attempt (if that's what you're planning) the day you get your first +OPK.

[xokatietatie]

Is it necessary to test pH if using repHresh, Zyrtec and baby aspirin?

[zanacal]

No, it's not necessary - and it may be beneficial not to as that kind of obsessing can raise testosterone which would sway boy :D

[xokatietatie]

Thanks for the info. Just knowing I don't have to obsess when it comes time to TTC is already a relief to me!

[atomic sagebrush]

It seems like you have a handle on everything else and I personally do not think timing sways in any way at all, so I would spare yourself the stress over pinpointing O so precisely. You'll only raise testosterone levels by trying to do it and testosterone really DOES sway! I personally don't think O+12 has that great of results because I think a lot of people who THINK they BD on O+12 either got the timing wrong and BD on O or else released two eggs the month they got pg and hit the second. When I was swaying mod on IG, NO ONE could figure it out and a LOT of people mixed cutoff and O+12...the cutoff was what got them pg, not the O+12. your body is designed to get pg from sperm already in the VJJ when the egg shows up, not from sperm that arrive 12 hours after. I think the most stress-free way (if you want

Here's another essay on frequency that you should prob. read. We honestly can't SAY which is best, I wish I had an army of guinea pigs and a million dollar lab so we would know for sure. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/5636-frequency-bd-pink-blue.html

[atomic sagebrush]

So I see that baby aspirin would be better that cranberries... and zyrtec would be better than sudafed. Those are easy changes for me. I will plan on using rePhresh as needed. I need to find a good way to to test mt pH levels. I saw the Hanna tester posted somewhere on the forum. Are there any good strips I could use instead?

Also, if X sperm do actually prefer thick/sticky CM (which is why I'm guessing people try O+12) can't you achieve that with the zyrtec rather than try to pinpoint the right time to DTD? Timing is definitely my biggest concern, and I don't want to get myself stressed out over it. As long as I am taking baby aspirin, keeping pH levels down by using rePhresh as needed, drinking things like Crystal Light with aspartame in it, plus following diet, do I really need to obsess over timing?

EXACTLY! That's what I'm talking about! IF timing does sway in some way, it's not because of some magic of the day itself, it's because people have some physical symptom going on and it's THAT symptom that sways and NOT DTD on a particular day. But there is NO WAY that all of us would have identical symptoms developing on an identical timeline - 2 days on any of these forums shows that because people are getting pos OPK when they aren't ovulating, having EWCM at weird times, and all sorts of craziness. So for those of us who make EWCM many days before O, a cutoff won't sway pink for us and what we really need to do is emulate the symptoms without stressing/obsessing over DTD on a "magic" day that is almost certainly not magic at all.