Some advice please ❤️

[JaneL]

Hello -

April this year I had my third son after a failed gender sway - I was so upset when I found out I wasn’t having a girl at my 20 week scan because my husband and I both had always said 3 children was our number - so I knew any chance of having a daughter was gone!

I am totally in love with all 3 of my boys and adore them immensely but every day I think about having a daughter.

I’m now trying to persuade my husband to have one more baby.

However i don’t know if if would be a good idea to have another baby for a number of reasons:

- I have never wanted 4 children and I am just wanting the chance to have a daughter
- worried about how I would cope with 4 (I already seem so busy with 3)
- how a 4th would affect my boys - sharing my time even more
- practical end of car & house

However the thought of having another baby won’t go away - I’m scared if I don’t have another baby I will regret it for the rest of my life.

Thank you in advance

[LMSM]

Hi JaneL,

I’m in the exact same boat except I have three girls...my youngest was born end of March this year and my mind can’t help but think of the possibility of ttc for #4. The thought of never having a son and instead having a 4th girl terrifies me though (even had a nightmare about it the other night :( ). So am keen but still somewhat unsure..though I know I’d regret it so much nit to have tried since hubs is *potentially* ok for one last, last, last (don’t think he’d agree to #5 ever) baby, and the pressure of that seems almost too much to bear.
Hope’ you find answers , it’s not easy to navigate between heart, reason, practicality, other people, your own existing kids/family etc :)
Have my pink dust*********

[JaneL]

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me LMSM!

It’s so nice knowing that someone else is in the same situation! When are you hoping to try for #4? Will you sway again? I’m not sure if I would sway again ....I done quite a strong sway last time and even took clomid, I think swaying filled me with even more hope of having a girl.

It’s so hard to decide between heart or mind! Also being pregnant with 3 young kids sounds scary!

Sending you my blue dust *******

[Nell_]

Hi girls i only have 1 at the moment! So can imagine how busy you all are �� but just my point is that i can't ever imagine holding your baby and regretting it! If you didn't go for 4th you may always think what if! You know really whatever the gender that baby will be so loved it would probably be idiots comments oh wow 4boys/4girls that would get on your nerves! ��
What sways did you do that failed? X

[atomic sagebrush]

I know it's so very hard to decide - is there any chance of IVF??

[JaneL]

Hi nell _

You are definitely right .....when I held my 3rd little boy in my arms, all thoughts of hoping for him to be a girl disappeared as I fell in love with him! Thoughts have now moved to ....should I fourth baby, maybe my fourth will be a girl ?!?!? I done a personalised plan and took Clomid - I got pregnant on my first round!

Hi atomic - I hope you are keeping well. IVF isn’t an option for us. Can I ask your advice on having a fourth? We always agreed on 3 children but I keep thinking about a fourth, but I’m worried I don’t actually want 4 but just want another chance of having a girl. If we decided to have a 4th - would your advice me to do the same sway?

[Nell_]

Such a hard decision maybe with time things will become clearer and it will come down to if you want a 4th regardless of gender xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, I always recommend that people sway, but I am sure I'd find a few things to tweak between what you did the last time and what you might do in the future. I would have to completely go over your sway though.

[JaneL]

Could I get some advice on swaying again?

Should I message you privately or just on this thread?

Last time I took clomid (got pregnant the first cycle), reduced calories & meat. Drank glass of wine every evening. One attempt. Also took fibre.

It might be a coincidence but the Chinese calendar has been right for me every pregnancy - should I consider it?

[Throwaway_panther]

Could I get some advice on swaying again?

Should I message you privately or just on this thread?

Last time I took clomid (got pregnant the first cycle), reduced calories & meat. Drank glass of wine every evening. One attempt. Also took fibre.

It might be a coincidence but the Chinese calendar has been right for me every pregnancy - should I consider it?

No. There's not even one Chinese calendar (since it's BS), so there's actually no way you can even have it be right for every pregnancy. Trust me, there's some out there that are wrong for you, too, since it's a nonsensical, unscientific thing (and NOT actually even an 'ancient Chinese' thing as I've learned from working heavily with China).

[atomic sagebrush]

Messaging me here in the forums is much easier for me. PM's I prefer to keep for tech issues and people who have things they need to keep private.

You need to do more than just reduce calories and meat. I suggest doing the LE Diet for 12 weeks plus coffee and alcohol, and add in exercise since you didn't do that last time (right?)

Hubby can take OLE, drink soy milk 12-48 oz. a day, jog/bike, and smoke if that is something he's willing to do or enjoys anyway. (no one should start smoking for a sway!)

:agree: with Panther about the Chinese Calendar. if it worked, there would not be orphanages full of unwanted Chinese baby girls.

[JaneL]

Thank you - I will do more research about the LE diet and start that!

Yes I didn’t exercise last time - what amount of exercise is required?

Will I not take clomid this time?

Sorry what is ole? I’m sure I can get him to take ole and soy!
Doubt he will jog or bike and he doesn’t smoke!

Yes will forget about the Chinese calendar xx

[atomic sagebrush]

60 minutes, 4-7 days a week (and 6-7 may be better than 4-5)

Yes yes please take Clomid if you can get some.

OLE is Olive Leaf Extract - 500-1000 mg daily, have him wean off once you're pregnant rather than stopping it suddenly.

[JaneL]

I was able to buy clomid from an online pharmacy - can you advice me on dosage? I got pregnant first month of taking clomid last time - should I take it for at least 2 months before trying to conceive this time?

It would be very difficult for me to find the time to exercise 6/7 days a week but I will try my best.

I’m currently still breastfeeding my youngest and have had no period yet - should I wait until I get my first period before I start swaying?

[atomic sagebrush]

50 mg CD 3-7 (so 5 consecutive days)

NO you MUST NOT take Clomid before you are actively TTC. That is a huge no-no. Only take Clomid in months you are planning to TTC.

Even if you can do 4-5 days, it's still gotten acceptiby good results. I just have more faith in the 6-7 days, that's all.

You can start making some changes now, but remember if you diet strictly + exercise, it may make it take longer for your cycle to resume. DO NOT take Clomid until you've had a period.

I often have people switch to the PCOS-type sway diet after having a failed sway on standard LE Diet (and we get good results with this). YOu can find that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/9052-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-3-pcos.html

[Babybeaublue]

I couldn't give up. Going from 3 to 4 wasn't a big deal for me, the juggling hit with no.5 (and obviously 6 lol)

[JaneL]

Hi atomic

Can I just clarify what diet you think i should do? I didn’t go a strict LE diet last time - so wondering should I do a strict one this time or the PCOS type away?

[atomic sagebrush]

I would still have you do the PCOS diet if you think you can stick to it without losing too much weight.

[2blue1pink]

I'm pregnant with our 4th living child and it is a bit scary/overwhelming sometimes. My ob's nurse practitioner has been swearing to me a long time that 4 is actually easier than 3, at least for her family, because everyone had a buddy. I can see that the case with my family as well as our oldest two are closest in age (18 mo's apart) and often end up leaving DS3 out/behind. I'm one of 4 and not too scarred by it. :cool: I personally was NOT willing to risk a 4th boy though. Another pregnancy is not an option for us and the whole idea of having another kid was finally to get a girl. DS3 was a failed sway (although a relatively light one),and I would not change him for anything, but I would rather just stay content with our 3 boys then risk adding a 4th. So we did IVF.

One of my very good friends is a classic girl sway except that's just her life. She's a vegetarian. Likes her nightly glass of wine while she grades papers. Does yoga and works out daily. Etc. Like if I wanted to do a girl sway again, I could just be her. I think she skips breakfast most days too. She's pregnant with her 4th girl. I am like that for boys, I feel like, and I would be really worried I could change enough to switch it.