Christmas and GD...

[Lissa]

Many of you "know" me, but I know there will be new users who don't: I have two little boys -- a two-year-old and a one-year old -- but I always wanted girls. A lot of the time, I think I am getting through my GD, but then something hits.

And right now, it's Christmas. I waited in line to see the mall Santa behind darling little dark-hair girls in tiny, sweet dresses. I baked by myself because, well, my kids are too little -- but I have the sneaking suspicion, while I'll always have cookie tasters, I may never have a baking partner. The barrage of gendered toys and marketing. My three-year anniversary of finding out that my firstborn would not be a girl...

Does Christmas affect your GD? Are there other special events or holidays that bring out the GD in you? What do you focus on to get through it without the sharp longing?

[1pinkwish]

Seeing all the cute little Christmas dresses is hard! And yep, standing in that Santa line was a little bit of torture just seeing how darling the little girls looked, and everyone commenting on them. And my boys just got the famous Christmas sweater and khakis. *sigh*

But, I did want to comment on your "little baker" comment. For 2 years now, my 5 yr old ds has begged for an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas. My hubby was very against it, but you know what--he's getting it for Christmas this year! The way I look at, cooking is not gender specific and some of the best chefs and bakers are men. So, why am going to push gender roles like that, when my son obviously has an interest in learning to cook and bake?! Hubby's not thrilled, but he's going along with it. I gave an argument he couldn't deny. LOL And my ds is going to be so excited on Christmas morning. He's already told me all the things he's going to make me when Santa brings his oven! LOL :)

It's neat when you do notice ways that you can share part of yourself with you sons too. It's not always sports, cars, and superheroes! :)

[CocoChanel]

Christmas doesn't spark it for me. I think I have cried enough tears and stomped my feet enough times over the clothes, that the sight of dresses does not faze me anymore. And I see shopping easier and cheaper with all boys, because they do end up sharing all toys. And I can just be very single-minded in the stores, not a chicken with my head cut off.

The only holiday, or special occasion that sparks any flares, is my birthday. I've got a pink-feathered birthday crown, my girlie dishes, the pink cake and the boys all get me feminine gifts. The thing is, I don't want those things for myself anymore, I want to be doing it for someone else which makes me sad. But what can you do but just power through it, right? That is what I hate about GD, it requires you to be strong. And why should someone have to be strong on their own ding-dang birthday.:(

[grasshopper]

It's neat when you do notice ways that you can share part of yourself with you sons too. It's not always sports, cars, and superheroes! :)

LOL...this cracks me up...I have the opposite with my DD#1. It isn't all dolls and frilly dresses for her...she does love these things but always asks for less girly things for Xmas...last year was a skateboard, this year a pogo stick or rollerblades...she wanted a Superman costume for her birthday!!! LOL. They really can have the best of both worlds...my nephew LOVES to cook and he's very much a boy's boy.

I get it though...Xmas is one of those times when it is all about the kids and magical things like dreams and wishes coming true...so you think about it all more and it is bound to make GD harder to deal with. I saw the most awesome toy castle complete with drawbridge, knights, dragons, ladders, weapons etc. I know there was nothing stopping me from buying it for my girls, but I want to buy it for a boy...my boy.

[1pinkwish]

LOL...this cracks me up...I have the opposite with my DD#1. It isn't all dolls and frilly dresses for her...she does love these things but always asks for less girly things for Xmas...last year was a skateboard, this year a pogo stick or rollerblades...she wanted a Superman costume for her birthday!!! LOL. They really can have the best of both worlds...my nephew LOVES to cook and he's very much a boy's boy.



I think that when we actually start focusing on our kids' personalities, likes, and dislikes we do actually see that these children are so much more than just the gender they are born with! :)

But, I do see big limitations too by only having one gender. I can't buy the cute dresses and bows and shoes (even if my child would let me put them on him-LOL). And I know there are things that boys do that girls just can't do either. (peeing standing up comes to mind. LOL) It's hard to feel so segregated sometimes! You're not allowed here cause you're the BLUE team! And you can't come here cause you're PINK team! :(

[atomic sagebrush]

I've had good Christmases and terrible ones...I don't even know how I made it through that first GD Christmas when I was pregnant with DS 3 and my niece was a baby and they just dumped her into my lap and I had to hold her the entire time while I watched my brother's girlfriend open up present after present while I got the most godawful maroon and navy sports outfits!!!

This Christmas is actually going to be a nice one, because DS 3 is old enough to be in the holiday spirit and he likes things like play food and Thomas, that I really enjoy giving him.

[xnicolax]

I love christmas with the boys but my DH has gone out for the night tonight and I am sat in with them and all they want to do is play on the xbox:(. My DH said I should bring it down stairs and have a game on it with them:confused:, lol. I dont really have anything 'in common' with them, I am sat here wondering how different it would have been had I been sat here with a daughter. Not that id change it but it would be nice if the future held a little girl for me:)

[atomic sagebrush]

Nicola, you may find you actually like the XBox. I really enjoy playing video games with my older boys (although some of them are SO HARD, urgh!!!) One of the games I really liked a lot was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I had a lot of fun with that and it's kinda 'girly' too!!! :)

[ThinkPink]

Yeah christmas was hard, DS is only boy and I have 5 nieces under 5, so it was like the little girls club only I wasnt invited!! They were all chatting about where they got their dresses from and the girls faces when they opened their prams, dolls ect. They are only superficial things I know but its still upsetting. My family all prefer girls anyway even my brothers I think its because my mum didnt hide the fact that she prefers girls, it must have rubbed off. It just suprises me how nasty your own family can be. Even my sis without kids kept saying, 'god I really hope I have a girl! and if its a boy it better not have red hair!(which my DS sort of does! dont ask me were it came from I dont know but he really is gorgeous so don now whyshe said that). Ill be hosting my own christmas next year, idiots not invited!!

[Claire]

Even my sis without kids kept saying, 'god I really hope I have a girl! and if its a boy it better not have red hair!(which my DS sort of does! dont ask me were it came from I dont know but he really is gorgeous so don now whyshe said that). Ill be hosting my own christmas next year, idiots not invited!!

She's crazy! Redheaded children are so cute!

Good for you for deciding to do your own Christmas. There's no point in doing something that's only going to hurt you, even if it is with your family. You can make your own traditions and not have to listen to any boy-girl comparisons.

[domestic bliss]

Christmas is a really hard time for me too. We have three nieces and when we get together, it is insane all of the stuff they get and how pretty it all is. Our boys get one gift to share. Don't get me wrong, it's not about the stuff I just do get bummed that noneof those pretty things will be at my house (cause I wouldn't mind playing with them with my dd !!).

Also, getting them dressed up.... it's just so boring for boys, although we try reaaally hard... And buying the girly gifts for all of my nieces... It feels like daggers through my heart thinking "why doesn't our dd want to come join our family???"...

thinkpink: my mil has slightly reddish hair and with each of our children I have wished for them to have her hair -- what a special thing!!! Your ds is a lucky one!!! I think the comments are the worst -- how are we really supposed to react to crap like that??? I get it all the time right now, so I have literally stopped telling people that I am even preggers for the moment, cause then they inevitably ask if we know what it is and then I have to say "most likely a boy" and be ready for the comments!!! My favorite is "oh my god girl, what are you going to do with 3 boys?? You are going to go crazy!!!" Sweet, right?!! Someday soon I hope to be able to laugh about it and/or have a super-cool comeback!!!