HELP: DH has testicle surgery in March and we don't have any kids yet.

[Madam Hedgehog]

They found a cyst in DH's testicle and want to remove it in March. They say it is so large that if they leave it alone it will start to effect fertility and other functions. However, the surgery itself also has a strong chance of affecting DH's fertility because the cyst is attached to the epididymis (which apparently moves sperm from storage to the urethra). If they mess it up, we probably will not be able to have kids at all because there is NO WAY we'll be able to afford the necessary procedures.

I have been mulling this over for a week and I am still in panic mode.

We wanted to sway pink, but now I'm afraid I won't be able to get pregnant at all in the next couple months (not to mention the probability of miscarriage even after a positive).

Has anyone had experience with this before? I've been thinking about cryobanking sperm but that also seems to be really expensive.

Advice?

[nuthinbutpink]

I assume it is benign? I hope so.

What do the doctors say? Is there any reason you should not TTC. Could "activity" down there make things worse for him? If you cryo sperm it would be for an IUI or IVF and those are expensive. Do you have infertility coverage?

If there is no harm in TTC, I would do so before the surgery not knowing what the outcome may be. I say this assuming it is a benign cyst and not cancer.

[drowning in boys]

I dont have any good answers darlin, im sorry, but I will be praying God shows you a way to have the family you are hoping for <3

[Madam Hedgehog]

Thanks for responding so quickly, Nuthin. They believe it is a cyst caused by scar tissue. I'm not sure what that means, but they are saying it is noncancerous. (thank god). They did not say there was any trouble with ttc right now.

We don't have infertility coverage. I am just worried that they will botch the surgery, and then we'll never have a chance unless we become millionaires and can somehow afford fertility treatments of some sort.

Should I ttc and just forget swaying altogether? I know that pink sway can make it difficult to conceive, and if we only have a couple months to pull this off, then should we even take the chance?

I don't know. I'm just shocked and sort of confused about what to do. He has two boys from a previous marriage, who are awesome kids, but I really wanted us to have our own. And I had my heart set on a daughter. I feel like a complete idiot for waiting until marriage since we've been together for 4 years and I could have had three with him by now . . . and now we might not get any.

[Madam Hedgehog]

thanks drowning. we can definitely use some prayers.

[nuthinbutpink]

I would just doing the swaying things you want but don't worry about timing as much because something like O + 12 could take forever to pinpoint.

I would ask about freezing a couple of semen samples. It's a few hundred dollars do not that bad really.

[Cinss]

If they just remove the cyst, i can't see how your his fertility will be very affected. Even if he has the whole testicle removed, the other one would compensate and produce more, and you would still be able to have children. If however he has to undergo chemotherapy after the removal of the cyst i would recommend banking some sperm now.

[Madam Hedgehog]

I would just doing the swaying things you want but don't worry about timing as much because something like O + 12 could take forever to pinpoint.

I would ask about freezing a couple of semen samples. It's a few hundred dollars do not that bad really.

Thanks. That is sort of what I was thinking. A few hundred dollars will be worth it in the long run if they screw things up. My period is irregular too (always has been) so the 0+12 method was never really an option for us.

[Madam Hedgehog]

If they just remove the cyst, i can't see how your his fertility will be very affected. Even if he has the whole testicle removed, the other one would compensate and produce more, and you would still be able to have children. If however he has to undergo chemotherapy after the removal of the cyst i would recommend banking some sperm now.

This is a point I am confused about as well. Honestly, I'm extremely frustrated with his doctor because she claims she is booked until the date of the surgery (?) and we've only been able to speak with the nurses about the issue. Admittedly, we DO have a shortage of doctors in this area, but with something this serious you'd think she could slow down long enough to talk to us. He says when he touches the cyst area, a sharp pain radiates up into his abdomen. The nurse says that and the size are the reason they're afraid it will cause major problems. I don't understand any of it, which makes me even more worried because I have no idea what we're dealing with.

[nuthinbutpink]

This is a point I am confused about as well. Honestly, I'm extremely frustrated with his doctor because she claims she is booked until the date of the surgery (?) and we've only been able to speak with the nurses about the issue. Admittedly, we DO have a shortage of doctors in this area, but with something this serious you'd think she could slow down long enough to talk to us. He says when he touches the cyst area, a sharp pain radiates up into his abdomen. The nurse says that and the size are the reason they're afraid it will cause major problems. I don't understand any of it, which makes me even more worried because I have no idea what we're dealing with.
I cannot stress this point enough- get a second opinion. Get it now. Something like that should NOT sit idle until March. He needs attention and you both need answers. I've never heard of waiting 3 months to take care of something like that. That is unacceptable. That would be taken care of within the week here.

[begonia]

I cannot stress this point enough- get a second opinion. Get it now. Something like that should NOT sit idle until March. He needs attention and you both need answers. I've never heard of waiting 3 months to take care of something like that. That is unacceptable. That would be taken care of within the week here.

ITA with this; even if you have to drive a couple of hours to get to another doc I would definitely have a second opinion on something of this magnitude. The fact that the doctor can't make time to speak to you herself would make me take DH to another doctor based on that alone; if she wants to perform surgery on your DH that could render him infertile, that's MAJOR, and you deserve a doctor who will fully and completely address your concerns. Not a doctor who can't find time to speak to you.

Hope this all gets sorted out soon though; I can imagine how stressful it is for you both. FX ttc goes well whenever you do decide to proceed.

[amari]

You def need to understand what is going on before you make any decisions about anything. I would call the doc tomorrow and get the answers to all your questions and if you are not satisfied, (and even if you are) get a second opinion. In regards to swaying now, you have to do what is right for YOU. If you what others would do, for me, and it was my first, I would just try and get pregnant, but that is just me! Good luck and kup.

[LolaInLove]

I am sorry to hear about this but glad all is benign.....I would get a second opinion also. I wince to think any doctor would let someone wallow in pain for 3 months, especially in that region! I think the scary thing they are talking about is that cord there....the potential to damage it. If you can't get the sperm to the cord (so it will come out in the semen), then your only option is totally expensive- it would be IVF with ICSI and the sperm would have to be extracted from his other testicle in a procedure called mTESE. I would highly consider banking his sperm NOW- many samples, to be honest. You can at least do an IUI with it then, and that is not too expensive.....not nearly on the level of IVF, if I understand correctly. You would kick yourself if something happened and things got wackadoodle down there.

On the swaying- here is my advice, since I am dealing with sperm issues myself- I would just work on having a baby at this point and not worry so much about swaying. Like NBP said, you could do some stuff yourself, but swaying pink hinders your fertility, so you would want to be careful. You don't have months on end to ttc, so you need to try to get pg fast, not tinker around with it too much.

That's my 2 cents, of course. I would concentrate on your DH immediate health and happiness and preserving his fertility and your ability to get some of that sperm one way or the other (now and in the future). Keep me updated.....not too many male factor couples here, but I am learning a good bit about balls from my experiences. You guys are in my prayers!

[Madam Hedgehog]

I cannot stress this point enough- get a second opinion. Get it now. Something like that should NOT sit idle until March. He needs attention and you both need answers. I've never heard of waiting 3 months to take care of something like that. That is unacceptable. That would be taken care of within the week here.

Thanks Nuthin. I talked to DH about this, and he said he thinks it's a good idea. I guess I got so freaked out that I didn't want to make the situation seem worse by asking for second opinions and questioning the doctors. I'm really glad you brought this up.

We have a HORRIBLE medical community in the area. We don't have enough doctors, so the doctors we do have tend to get away with murder with zero consequences. The surgeon they recommended is absolutely horrific. A friend of mine who worked with him a different surgery said he knicked the guy's liver during the surgery and did nothing about it at all. He wasn't supposed to be working on the liver at all! So, I'm already sort of in panic mode.

[Madam Hedgehog]

ITA with this; even if you have to drive a couple of hours to get to another doc I would definitely have a second opinion on something of this magnitude. The fact that the doctor can't make time to speak to you herself would make me take DH to another doctor based on that alone; if she wants to perform surgery on your DH that could render him infertile, that's MAJOR, and you deserve a doctor who will fully and completely address your concerns. Not a doctor who can't find time to speak to you.

This is what my mother said. She had a full hysterectomy at 40 that was completely unauthorized. They told her they were going to remove a cyst, and when she woke up they had taken everything. She says this sounds really unprofessional and is worried because she wants grandkids.

[Madam Hedgehog]

You def need to understand what is going on before you make any decisions about anything. I would call the doc tomorrow and get the answers to all your questions and if you are not satisfied, (and even if you are) get a second opinion. In regards to swaying now, you have to do what is right for YOU. If you what others would do, for me, and it was my first, I would just try and get pregnant, but that is just me! Good luck and kup.

Thanks. That is pretty much what I'm doing. I've changed my diet a bit, and am restricting calories/nutrients, but I'm not going to do the extreme measures (spermicide/douching) that I had planned on previously.

[Madam Hedgehog]

I am sorry to hear about this but glad all is benign.....I would get a second opinion also. I wince to think any doctor would let someone wallow in pain for 3 months, especially in that region! I think the scary thing they are talking about is that cord there....the potential to damage it. If you can't get the sperm to the cord (so it will come out in the semen), then your only option is totally expensive- it would be IVF with ICSI and the sperm would have to be extracted from his other testicle in a procedure called mTESE. I would highly consider banking his sperm NOW- many samples, to be honest. You can at least do an IUI with it then, and that is not too expensive.....not nearly on the level of IVF, if I understand correctly. You would kick yourself if something happened and things got wackadoodle down there.


Thanks for the reply. I think we are going to do the sperm banking. I've been having a hard time finding a sperm bank nearby, but we will go on a road trip if we have to! I'm really worried about the cost, but you are right; we will really regret it in the future if we can't have kids and we didn't try everything.

And wow! I am really learning about balls too! Until this, I didn't even really think about how they worked, and it turns out the scrotum and its contents is a pretty complex thing. I feel totally self conscious looking at diagrams all the time, but when they started throwing out terms like epididymis I had NO IDEA what they were talking about.

[atomic sagebrush]

TTC NOW and forget about swaying (as long as, like NBP points out, it is medically ok for him to TTC). The cyst may already be swaying pink for you to begin with. Pull out all the stops, do the Sperm Meets Egg plan you can find here Sperm Meets Egg Plan (http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm) and you may even want to do Robitussin and/or Preseed.

Good luck!

[LolaInLove]

TTC NOW and forget about swaying (as long as, like NBP points out, it is medically ok for him to TTC). The cyst may already be swaying pink for you to begin with. Pull out all the stops, do the Sperm Meets Egg plan you can find here Sperm Meets Egg Plan (http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm) and you may even want to do Robitussin and/or Preseed.

Good luck!

Awesome advice- this is pretty much what we are doing (although we switch up the ttc patterns a bit, this is the best). Good luck!!!!

[Madam Hedgehog]

TTC NOW and forget about swaying (as long as, like NBP points out, it is medically ok for him to TTC). The cyst may already be swaying pink for you to begin with. Pull out all the stops, do the Sperm Meets Egg plan you can find here Sperm Meets Egg Plan (http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm) and you may even want to do Robitussin and/or Preseed.

Good luck!

Thanks for the link, Atomic. I just read it. We have been attempting to ttc several times a day EVERY DAY. I had no idea that could be a negative factor. I've also been doing something of an emergency sway. I've been eating white rice almost exclusively (with peeled apples, peeled squash, and egg white here and there) and have dropped down to around the 1200 calorie range. And I have noticed that my sex drive has plummeted and I am much drier than usual. I've lost about five pounds in a week.

I hadn't thought of the idea that the cyst could be swaying in our favor, but that does make sense. Is there any amount of pink sway that would be a good idea, or should I abandon ship completely?

My period has always been extremely erratic, so I have almost no idea when I might ovulate. Is a rough calculation and BDing every other day a could solution to that problem?

Thanks!