Sex drive sway?

[dreamofdaughter]

I read on another site a woman who was worried she conceived a boy because that month her sex drive was really high. And she found out it is a boy. I can't find anything about sex drive being a sway factor? If so, how would that work?

[clarkrl2]

How interesting. I have no idea and kinda doubt it is anything but coincidence that she had a boy. However, my sex drive is at its lowest and I’m swaying pink. Maybe there is something to it.

[Lilawt]

I doubt there is anything behind that theory! Doesn’t make a lot of sense... perhaps she means she had a lot of orgasms? Which some say sways boy x


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[4blue2pink]

the only thing i can think of is
high sex drive = lots of bd which = boys

[atomic sagebrush]

We don't know.

I know this is an unsatisfying answer but this is one of those things where a) I do think there is something to this, although NOT so immediate as your friend believes and b) even though I think there's something to it, I can't tell you how it works.

Let me tell you what I DO know.

Of my blue swayers, there are a surprising number of them who rarely have sex. Not only for a few days, but for months, even years. It is not all of them, but it's what I call an important minority - such a large chunk that they stick out like a sore thumb and are unignorable. Then at the same time, despite having way more pink swayers, none of them fall into this category. I'm sitting here wracking my brain trying to come up with a single couple with all/mostly boys who were going months, let alone years without sex and not coming up with anyone. There may be a couple out there but I sure don't recall them, whereas I can mentally rattle off the names of 10 blue swaying couples who went 2 or more years without having sex. Which is totally cool if it works for them as a couple, the point is that it's an interesting observation that I feel must surely mean something, and not trying to call anyone out or anything.

So what does this mean?? Many people take this to mean (as I think you are, here) that sex sways blue but I"m not so sure that IS what it means, at least entirely. Because there is also another important minority of women who get girls at the start of a new relationship, when newly married, when they've been apart for a while and are "catching up", because their husband wants daily sex (so the man is having daily sex and the deposit is being made, even when the woman is not super into it every day, if you catch my drift here) This too is a pretty good chunk of people so it does not appear to me that sex alone is what is swaying (not to mention the fact that I have lots of blue swayers who rarely have sex normally, having several attempts while swaying, and a good chunk of them still get sway opposites despite this - this is actually one of my larger groups of blue sway opposites)

What I think may be going on here, is that there is an undelying hormonal difference between couples who are highly sexual and those that aren't. And that this may be swaying long before anyone even decides what BD pattern to follow. A lot of these couples are not having sex very often at all and yet both of them are ok with that (and i know this because I've talked to some men swaying blue, as well, and they're ok with it). My husband gets very irritable if we don't BD every couple of days (and we've been married for 27 years so this is NOT a newlywed situation, he's been that way all along...and when we were younger he would have very much preferred every day or even 2x) and I myself would not want to go any less than a week (sorry TMI!) There just has to be some hormonal difference between people who have a once a month, once every 6 month, once a year sex drive and those who have a once a day or week sex drive, if you see what I'm saying. But this is an underlying situation and not really something we can harness for our sway.

I am reading a question in here and I'll answer it just in case you're wondering about this. NO, no one can tell based on their sex drive for any given month, if they'll have a girl or a boy. Even if there may be something to it overall, it's too unreliable and I do not want anyone to start skipping months on this basis. Example, in the month I conceived my daughter, I had a pretty low sex drive for a variety of reasons BUT there are many, many other people who have come to me in a panic over their sex drive in the month they TTC, who still got girls! And there are people swaying blue who haven't had sex in years who still get boys. So it's just not predictable in any way and we can't afford to skip months for things that aren't very very clearly set in stone as truth.

[dreamofdaughter]

Thanks, atomic.

I have a friend who has daily sex with her DH of many years and they have two boys. They were together a long time before they had their kids.

I have another friend who told me she and her new partner had/have daily sex. After a year together, she went off BC and conceived a second girl (first girl with ex).

Since starting swaying, I find I get less irritable/pissed off and competitive but a few days after my AF starts, I start wanting sex. Then when Ov comes around, I *really* want sex. So I feel like in some ways my testosterone is lower but then wanting sex would mean it is higher, right? But I don't plan on testing it so who knows.

Having said all that, a) I work out a lot and pure cardio so I am guessing there is some endorphins in there making me less irritable and b) my DH has dropped probably 25 lbs from his crazy cardio routine and he is also skipping breakfast/snacking with me and reduces his calorie intake so I think it could be a mental thing for me cause he looks pretty damn good now not being overweight.

I wouldn't skip a month based off my drive though. I think there are too many factors that could be affecting it, in my case at least. I do wish I could further reduce my EWCM around Ov though. I pretty much always have some. I read so many successful sways where there was creamy CM or none. I don't really know how to get my body to adjust any further other than maybe antihistamine.



We don't know.

I know this is an unsatisfying answer but this is one of those things where a) I do think there is something to this, although NOT so immediate as your friend believes and b) even though I think there's something to it, I can't tell you how it works.

Let me tell you what I DO know.

Of my blue swayers, there are a surprising number of them who rarely have sex. Not only for a few days, but for months, even years. It is not all of them, but it's what I call an important minority - such a large chunk that they stick out like a sore thumb and are unignorable. Then at the same time, despite having way more pink swayers, none of them fall into this category. I'm sitting here wracking my brain trying to come up with a single couple with all/mostly boys who were going months, let alone years without sex and not coming up with anyone. There may be a couple out there but I sure don't recall them, whereas I can mentally rattle off the names of 10 blue swaying couples who went 2 or more years without having sex. Which is totally cool if it works for them as a couple, the point is that it's an interesting observation that I feel must surely mean something, and not trying to call anyone out or anything.

So what does this mean?? Many people take this to mean (as I think you are, here) that sex sways blue but I"m not so sure that IS what it means, at least entirely. Because there is also another important minority of women who get girls at the start of a new relationship, when newly married, when they've been apart for a while and are "catching up", because their husband wants daily sex (so the man is having daily sex and the deposit is being made, even when the woman is not super into it every day, if you catch my drift here) This too is a pretty good chunk of people so it does not appear to me that sex alone is what is swaying (not to mention the fact that I have lots of blue swayers who rarely have sex normally, having several attempts while swaying, and a good chunk of them still get sway opposites despite this - this is actually one of my larger groups of blue sway opposites)

What I think may be going on here, is that there is an undelying hormonal difference between couples who are highly sexual and those that aren't. And that this may be swaying long before anyone even decides what BD pattern to follow. A lot of these couples are not having sex very often at all and yet both of them are ok with that (and i know this because I've talked to some men swaying blue, as well, and they're ok with it). My husband gets very irritable if we don't BD every couple of days (and we've been married for 27 years so this is NOT a newlywed situation, he's been that way all along...and when we were younger he would have very much preferred every day or even 2x) and I myself would not want to go any less than a week (sorry TMI!) There just has to be some hormonal difference between people who have a once a month, once every 6 month, once a year sex drive and those who have a once a day or week sex drive, if you see what I'm saying. But this is an underlying situation and not really something we can harness for our sway.

I am reading a question in here and I'll answer it just in case you're wondering about this. NO, no one can tell based on their sex drive for any given month, if they'll have a girl or a boy. Even if there may be something to it overall, it's too unreliable and I do not want anyone to start skipping months on this basis. Example, in the month I conceived my daughter, I had a pretty low sex drive for a variety of reasons BUT there are many, many other people who have come to me in a panic over their sex drive in the month they TTC, who still got girls! And there are people swaying blue who haven't had sex in years who still get boys. So it's just not predictable in any way and we can't afford to skip months for things that aren't very very clearly set in stone as truth.

[atomic sagebrush]

Just to further reassure you, studies have proven 100% to my satisfaction that PMS symptoms and female personality has NOTHING to do with testosterone. Testosterone affects men's personality, that's been shown, but women do not aappear to have personality differences based on T levels. Fluctuations in progesterone and estrogen are what affect personality, irritability.

Studies have proven that you can't predict a woman's testosterone levels from her sex drive and vice versa. When women were given testosterone supplements, it made their sex drive go up, but it's not been shown at all ever that natural sex drive is correlated with testosterone (and in several stidues it was shown not to be related). And some studies have shown that testosterone makes women actually LESS interested in sex with a partner and more interested in masturbation.

So please don't read anything into it. Really. It's all just so complex with so much data pointing every which way and the psychological game is HUGE for women. We just can't know or draw any conclusions about it.

We have tracked our results with antihistamine and found that it didn't help at all so please resist the temptation because

I got my 4th boy with NO visible CM at all. Didn't evne know I'd ovulated (and I was checking constantly since I was monitoring pH as per IG recommendations) With my daughter I had EWCM. I've seen so many EWCM opposites it's impossible

Try to keep in mind that when it comes to filling out sway forms, sometimes people see what they think they're supposed to. They notice creamy CM and think it means something when the fact was they had it with their boys too and just didn't notice it. Until we have an actual study done where independent observers do the monitoring (and ewww - that study will likely never be done) we really don't have any reliable data to go off of.

[Lilyflower]

Thanks, atomic.

I have a friend who has daily sex with her DH of many years and they have two boys. They were together a long time before they had their kids.

I have another friend who told me she and her new partner had/have daily sex. After a year together, she went off BC and conceived a second girl (first girl with ex).

Since starting swaying, I find I get less irritable/pissed off and competitive but a few days after my AF starts, I start wanting sex. Then when Ov comes around, I *really* want sex. So I feel like in some ways my testosterone is lower but then wanting sex would mean it is higher, right? But I don't plan on testing it so who knows.

Having said all that, a) I work out a lot and pure cardio so I am guessing there is some endorphins in there making me less irritable and b) my DH has dropped probably 25 lbs from his crazy cardio routine and he is also skipping breakfast/snacking with me and reduces his calorie intake so I think it could be a mental thing for me cause he looks pretty damn good now not being overweight.

I wouldn't skip a month based off my drive though. I think there are too many factors that could be affecting it, in my case at least. I do wish I could further reduce my EWCM around Ov though. I pretty much always have some. I read so many successful sways where there was creamy CM or none. I don't really know how to get my body to adjust any further other than maybe antihistamine.

I kind of wish this theory was true because I actually have a lower sex drive and still easily conceived a boy. DH and I were BD 3-5 per fertile cycle (not swaying at the time, just ttc) and pretty much not doing anything else the rest of the month. I’ve had my hormones tested and my testosterone is totally normal (I always assumed it was low since my sex drive was low but it’s not). I think from having various hormone tests, one thing I’ve learned is that you can feel a major shift in symptoms (sex drive is an example, stress or cortisol is another where one month you can feel anxious and tense and the next totally calm and peaceful), but the actual hormones don’t drastically change that quickly from month to month. So even if you have months where you experience a higher sex drive, it’s not necessarily that your hormones have risen that much although it may feel that way.
I know for myself, my cortisol was regularly off the charts high (probably another reason I was more boy-friendly!) but even after months of thinking I felt totally calm and not stressed at all, when I had my hormones retested, sure enough the cortisol was still super high. It had only gone down a bit which shocked me because I thought I had been so calm. So it just goes to show you that it’s totally ok to have periods where you feel a higher sex drive, and it shouldn’t interfere with you ttc.
The discussion about how often couples have sex is very interesting- with two stressful jobs, opposite schedules and my not-so-stellar drive to begin with, DH and I (bless his heart) have really not been overly intimate the past (long) while. Basically mostly when ttc DS and now again for baby #2. But I think our lifestyles and eating habits are still much more blue than pink so I really hope I was able to sway enough to end up with a little girl this spring.

[dreamofdaughter]

Hoping you get your girl Lilyflower!

[dreamofdaughter]

Well, I guess I should be careful what I wish for...I had EWCM when AF was ending. Then it went away. Now any CM is creamy and very minimal and I still have not had my positive OPK! We are doing e4d but I would like to add in that positive at opk which is why I am monitoring.

[Throwaway_panther]

DH and I both have high sex drives -- his I feel almost outrageously so (getting him not to release everyday was deemed "torture," and after swaying blue for 2 years, we've never had an issue completing 3 attempts at O). We still had a girl and am due any day now with a baby I'll be absolutely amazed if it's a boy, since I'm like 98% sure it's not.

I also got a girl with plenty of EWCM. I've got some fertile af CM, even according to doctors since DH has shitty sperm (especially motility) but we got pregnant even on pull out several times.

It's all a spectrum I feel. Not everyone has every symptom of a disease but can still have it, you know? Women get boys with close spacing, smoking, and once in a blue moon sex. Women get girls lifting weights and eating healthy and having frequent sex. There's chance and there's also all the other things that might have tipped the odds that particular month.

[Lilawt]

Yes your last paragraph is so true TP, very well put.

Lil


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[clarkrl2]

DH and I both have high sex drives -- his I feel almost outrageously so (getting him not to release everyday was deemed "torture," and after swaying blue for 2 years, we've never had an issue completing 3 attempts at O). We still had a girl and am due any day now with a baby I'll be absolutely amazed if it's a boy, since I'm like 98% sure it's not.

I also got a girl with plenty of EWCM. I've got some fertile af CM, even according to doctors since DH has shitty sperm (especially motility) but we got pregnant even on pull out several times.

It's all a spectrum I feel. Not everyone has every symptom of a disease but can still have it, you know? Women get boys with close spacing, smoking, and once in a blue moon sex. Women get girls lifting weights and eating healthy and having frequent sex. There's chance and there's also all the other things that might have tipped the odds that particular month.

So true. I often guess right on what people are having based on what I know about swaying. But sometimes I’m just floored. I often ask: How does the friend who posts photos of her 3000 calorie takeout meal every night have a house full of girls? How does that lady who runs 10 miles a day have all boys? I think this uncertainty about how every strategy and factor will pan out is our biggest fear and also our hope. At least for me it is.

[atomic sagebrush]

There is this concept called an important minority. It means that while there are plenty of exceptions - in fact far more exceptions than there are people who fall into the minority group - there is just an unignorably large group of people who DO fall into that category and it simply has to mean something. I would be a very bad scientist-type-person if I looked at something that seemed to be true, 5,10, 20, 30% of the time and ignored it because I knew of a few exceptions (many of whom have lots of other things going on that may have swayed a certain color for them in the past).

I know this is not intentional but I really, really, really wish that people who don't happen to fall into the important minority category did not feel this burning obligation to post about it literally EVERY time we start talking about hypothetical stuff. I am only bringing this stuff up (when asked, BTW) because I want to help as many people as possible get their desired gender. And every time someone comes along and says "well achtually..." they are potentially harming the chances of people who ARE in the minority. People decide to do or not do things for their sway on offhand remarks all. the. time. This is especially true for blue swayers since many of them will seize upon the flimsiest of excuses not to do anything that is the least little bit difficult or stressful (such as, asking their husbands to stop smoking, for instance, or having sex more often, or waiting a few months before TTC so their babies aren't 10 months apart when they don't wanna). Any time someone says "that's not true 100% of the time" a good chunk of people take that as a "get out of jail free" card. Please keep in mind, ladies and gents, that swaying is not EVER 100% or even close to it and there are always people who fall outside the lines. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't still do what has worked for most people, most of the time.

"Well achtually, that's not true for me..." If it doesn't apply to you, ignore it. Sway in the ways that make sense to you! I care about the 5, 10, 30% of people who CAN possibly be helped by whatever it is. The people whose husbands can stop smoking! The people who can wait a couple months before TTC again! The people who can have sex a little more or a little less often. The pink swayers who can get Clomid! I can't help but cringe when I see people say "Well achtually I know lots of smokers with all boys" and "Well achtually I know lots of blue Irish twins" and "well achtually I know lots of people who got boys on Clomid" because it gives people in the important minority an excuse not to do what will help their sway. And many of them will jump at it because they're looking for a reason to not do whatever-it-is anyway.

What we are doing here is trying to solve a mystery (and probably more than one, since there appear to be many things that may sway and they don't all seem to sway in the same way). The reason why we are trying to solve the mystery is to get as many people as we possibly can, their desired gender. We are NOT trying to prove a theory universally true. We aren't, for example, saying "the only thing that sways is mineral levels and they sway 100% of the time" and so when someone says "well achtually" in that scenario, it's helpful because ANY exception to the theory, then disproves the rule.

Instead, we are saying "wow people in these certain categories seem to have more of one gender than the other, let's keep an eye on that and maybe do/not do those things to see if it helps" - we're like the Scooby gang, trying to follow this trail of clues to find out if it's Old Man Jenkins or whoever. Some of our clues are misleading and some of our suppositions are very likely wrong. We still need to monitor them to KNOW if they're wrong or not. I just can't ignore those things that may be true, I have to keep an eye on them since I want to solve that mystery, and I mention them to you guys because I want people who may benefit from them to be able to benefit from them without waiting till they're totally proven. I would be about the biggest jerk on the planet if I sat on info that I really truly think matters to some people's sways just because I can't prove it or because it isn't universal or if I can't explain how it works just yet. The fact is within our lifetimes this stuff will likely not be proven because no one is studying any of it, and our observations are pretty much the only clues we have to go on. I know already that there are exceptions, these things aren't 100%, I am already well aware, but I still think there's something here we need to keep an eye on. That's why these are hypothetical threads is so we can talk about things that aren't proven yet.

I always want you guys to feel free to question and challenge me always, but just do keep in mind that there are people out there who may not be being helped by the "well achtually" approach.

[atomic sagebrush]

So true. I often guess right on what people are having based on what I know about swaying. But sometimes I’m just floored. I often ask: How does the friend who posts photos of her 3000 calorie takeout meal every night have a house full of girls? How does that lady who runs 10 miles a day have all boys? I think this uncertainty about how every strategy and factor will pan out is our biggest fear and also our hope. At least for me it is.

Swaying is an iceberg. The stuff you see above the water is minuscule compared to the stuff under the water. We don't know and in fact cannot ever know if anyone we see had underlying things swaying the opposite direction (not to mention their husband and what he brings to the table) and/or how much luck played a part. Even under ideal circumstances where we take everything we know or think we know about swaying and put it all together, we get opposites somewhere between 20-30% of the time. So it is not unreasonable to think that someone who isn't swaying may be "set" for one gender based on the stuff you see, but they could easily be more like 55% or 60% "set" and that is still plenty of room for opposites, even repeat opposites. And even if they were really truly coming in 80% "set" for one gender, they could still get an opposite or even more than one.

I know a woman who got a boy with a 92% Microsort sperm sort. That means 92% of the sperm that were in her body were X. Still got a boy.

And, keep in mind as well that lifestyles change over time. Your friend who gets girls with takeout meals or boys while running, may have had more pink/blue friendly lifestyle in the past, got her first or even first couple with a more easily recognizable pink/blue lifestyle and then later on things change so the part of the iceberg you're seeing now may not even have been the part sticking up before.

We can't look at one person in isolation and really know anything. All we can do is look at what seems to work best for most people, most of the time, and do that.