Do You Believe In Karma? Good People Get What They Deserve?!?

[3SmittensBOGOKittens]

I've been absolutely struggling lately. When I was growing up, I truly believed that "good" people got justly rewarded, and "bad" people would always lose in the end. Unfortunately though, when it comes to gender desire and also other situations, I have seen time after time where people who try to do everything right, are good moms, etc, still struggle with family balancing (and getting the gender they want so badly.) I have also seen a LOT of moms in my local moms groups who always seem to be mean to other moms, don't handle things well, are selfish, competitive, etc... and yet they seem to float through life easily and ALWAYS get what they want.

For example, I know someone who is VERY abusive toward her kids, but still has a "perfect" boy and girl. Or DOZENS of moms who didn't even try to sway and who were very careless about TTC, even right after a miscarriage, and still got the gender they desired.

I am not thinking clearly right now, 'cause of the hormones and RAGE that I'm experiencing in the TWW. I also know someone who was pregnant and purposefully drank alcohol before their miscarriage was even confirmed, not once but 3 times, and who refuses to take progesterone supplements to support pregnancy or even to participate in recurrent pregnancy loss testing... and still keeps getting pregnant over and over again.

So sorry that this is soooo long, but my question is - do you believe in karma? Do you believe that if we do good deeds, really try to make a difference in the world, that we will wind up with the desires of our hearts? Will the people who don't even respect life or who are extremely evil still continue to get desired genders? Or do you think that it is still totally up to chance or science?

[Wanting a daughter]

I believe in Karma in a couple of different ways. I believe that in this life time the kind of person you are can influence what comes back to you but only because you end up surrounding yourself with the same kind of people. Kind people eventually weed out the nasty ones and nasty ones end up with other nasty ones because the kind ones don't stick around long term. But the kind of karma you are talking about, I believe happens over numerous life times. I believe our souls are taught lessons and we return to face the consequences of our past wrong doings or to be rewarded for past good deeds. I have to believe it's bigger than one life time because otherwise it just isn't fair.
Hope that makes sense.

[Cinss]

I don't believe there is anyone watching your every move to count the total + Karma points - the negative ones, then working out the equivilant "prize" for your points. And who is to say what is good and what is bad? Too much grey area for me to believe in Karma.

[rainbowflower]

I used to but don't know any more... I've seen people ruder/meaner than me get given everything they want on a plate (job, house, children) but not appreciate it as much. DH and I have had more major struggles and still have less. Perhaps they have different values.

My dad was a teacher and a kind person. He was a great dad who I adored. He had a happy marriage, worked hard for holidays, 4 daughters. He died at age 57 from cancer. Some might say karma rewarded him with his family, etc. Others might say he didn't get enough time, didn't get to see his daughters grow up or marry or have children, never had a son... its perspective.

I guess what one might value another might not. And at the end of it it only comes down to contentment/happiness... someone can be happy with a worse lot in life

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[Princess of Pink]

I don't see it as karma as far as gender is concerned. I just think that for some reason I was meant to have 5 daughters, even if right now I don't understand the reason. Maybe it was so that I had a large family...because if I had one of each I would of stopped at 2 children. I think that this is just the way is meant to be...

[ELP]

I don't think theres an outer force balancing things out, but I do believe that horrible people do eventually get whats coming to them and good people will at some point be recognized for being good. ie The bully will always eventually be stood up to by someone and made to feel very small:agree:

[begonia]

My dad was a teacher and a kind person. He was a great dad who I adored. He had a happy marriage, worked hard for holidays, 4 daughters. He died at age 57 from cancer. Some might say karma rewarded him with his family, etc. Others might say he didn't get enough time, didn't get to see his daughters grow up or marry or have children, never had a son... its perspective.

I guess what one might value another might not. And at the end of it it only comes down to contentment/happiness... someone can be happy with a worse lot in life

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Well said Rainbowflower. ITA it is perspective.

I am religious, and I do believe in trials and a purpose in them, but I don't believe in karma. I think many of us can list people we know who "deserve" much better than they have received in life; and vice versa.

[nuthinbutpink]

Karma is really just cause and effect. For every action, there is a reaction. Steve Jobs wrote that you cannot look ahead and connect the dots- you can only do that looking backwards at the end of your journey.

So, I believe in cause and effect and if that is what Karma really is, then I believe it to be true but you cannot know or understand the reasons for everything looking forward so although it may seem like things didn't work out, you cannot really know that for sure at this moment.

It's like the energy we put out during the day. Have you ever done something nice for a stranger and didn't say anything? Like, pay their toll or restaurant bill or buy the person behind you a coffee without telling them? You can't help but feel good and smile throughout the day thinking back on it, in turn, the person you helped has a warm and fuzzy feeling all day and puts out a positive vibe- maybe smiles at people that day as he walks past. That is the karma(cause and effect) I believe in. You get back what you put out there. Even if someone has a boy and a girl, that doesn't mean they have a great life. That is just your perception which it based upon your own desires and not that mean lady's actual circumstances. Maybe karma has already slapped her upside the head with a miserable life.

I don't believe that all our wishes come true just because we are nice people. Bad things happen to wonderful people everyday. That little girl blogger died of brain cancer last week. Did she do something to have bad Karma? Certainly not. She got back a ton of love over this past year though through her blog that she put out there and I am sure she knew how much she was loved when she left this place. It's all how you choose to look at things.

[angel-pink]

karma is bitch thats bites some people in the ass lol

I do believe in karma for instance i could be sour that i haven't got my girl but tbh i've got so much more than most a loving husband and beautiful boy i'm a fair person
my friends and i mean all of them bar one have 1 of each boy and girl yet there husbands didn't stick it out or beat them or are jobless and have no intension of getting a job for there family


I do believe in god and i do believe he is here to test us and to make us grow wiser with every card we are delt I also believe that we are not given our wishes at will but in time will we be rewarded in full we may not know it now but good things will come i've gotta belive this or whats the point lol

[3SmittensBOGOKittens]

Thank you all for your wonderful and insightful responses. I definitely do believe in divine intervention, a higher purpose, destiny, fate, etc... I guess I am just a romantic mushball LOL. I also want to clarify, I don't think it is horrible for a person to have only boys or only girls... I was just down in the dumps because I really think that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and it seems senseless. I know justice doesn't always win out, and good over evil, etc... but I would like to think that there is still hope out there since I have truly tried to live my life to the best of my ability and I am always helping others and doing good deeds and thinking of the greater good. I just feel that I have a lot to offer both my darling sons, AND my treasured future DD.

[mummyof3boys]

i so understand what u r saying!!! My sister was in a bad controlling abusive relationship got preg twice i ectopic 1 m/c then fell again even after finding out what he is like had a daughter yep i was alot jealous!!! left him then went back :( preg again with a boy!!! AGGGHHHH AND he has 2 prior chn 1 BOY and 1 GIRL!!!! WHY!!!!! HE IS AN ASSHOLE!!!! my hub works 6 days i work 3 we take the kids out all the time as a fam they haves sooo much love and would be sooo good with a little sister!!!! BUT i no i wouldnt give up any of my boys i dnt care if i have triplets as long as 1 is a girl and would love all 5 boys just as much i just want a daughter like i would have wanted a son if it was the other way around!!!!

[LolaInLove]

This is an interesting question- I think it is human nature to want to find a reason for things happening the way they do. I mean, heck, we all want to know if God is real....even though zillions of people claim yes and believe in God....no one truly knows he exists. Same with karma and really, every philosophical question there is. If I do this, will I get that? There is no guarantee. Like many said, I think it depends on how you look at it. I do think that good comes about from my doing good in the cause and effect manner that NBP said. So, I don't really believe in straight karma, because many terrible people have had good things happen and vice versa. But it is hopeful to believe that there is something bigger than us, something we need to strive towards and work for that is good (well, most of us). Otherwise, there would be pure anarchy and man, what a terrible place this world would be, right?

[Tooblue]

Yes, I do believe in karma. I've seen it in action! So when I had boys, I wondered what I did to deserve it. I had only envisioned myself with girls. I felt like I was being punished for something. My relationship with DH at the time was not a good one (thankfully, we've grown up and were able to work things out). I felt like if karma was going to kick anyone in the ass it should have been HIM. HE was the one who needed to learn respect for women! HE was the one with more growing up to do! But you know what? Those boys were just what he needed to turn things around. He saw himself in them and saw that he was their #1 role model and he became a better person because of them. Who knows what things would have been like had they been girls. So yes, I think ultimitely, my good karma came back in the form of a loving husband and kids and a family that was able to come out on top despite going through some very difficult times.

[envisioned]

I struggle with concept of karma b/c I've seen absolutely horrifying rotten things happen to very good people. But I've also seen it come back around full circle to evil people. So I don't know. I do feel liek it affects me differently. You know how some people can do careless lazy stupid stuff that they know they should do but go "Oh it's ok no one will ever know" and they'll get away with it and coast through life? I'm the person that if I EVER tried that, I would get my ass handed to me. Like God forbid I didn't put away a shopping cart in a parking lot after I put away stuff in the car, I'd probably get hit by a bus. Whereas other people can leave the cart, steal an item and they'd find a lottery ticket on their way home.

[atomic sagebrush]

Interesting thread!

I believe in karma not in a mystical sense, but when you work hard and try to help others, then you are more likely to be rewarded for it (or at the very least, helped when you need it) than a lazy bum who mooches off everyone all the time. Unfortunately this system is not reliable and often bad people are rewarded and good people suffer in silence.

I don't believe in karma in a magical way I finally decided. I have become more of a sh-- happens kind of person.

People get different genders not for any mystical reason and certainly not because they deserve them, but because of real biological reasons that affect the human body and so it is totally possible for bad people to just get lucky and biologically be in a place where their body supports conception of the gender that they want. Deserve has nothing to do with gender ratio.

[Myloves]

Interesting thread!

I believe in karma not in a mystical sense, but when you work hard and try to help others, then you are more likely to be rewarded for it (or at the very least, helped when you need it) than a lazy bum who mooches off everyone all the time. Unfortunately this system is not reliable and often bad people are rewarded and good people suffer in silence.

I don't believe in karma in a magical way I finally decided. I have become more of a sh-- happens kind of person.

People get different genders not for any mystical reason and certainly not because they deserve them, but because of real biological reasons that affect the human body and so it is totally possible for bad people to just get lucky and biologically be in a place where their body supports conception of the gender that they want. Deserve has nothing to do with gender ratio.

I believe this too.

[KidAtHeart]

My neighbor tragically lost a child in a freak accident. After that happened, I came to the conclusion that sometimes, bad things happen to good people. I no longer feel like I'm being 'punished' by having all boys, or that I'm not worthy of having a girl. It used to make me really sad to walk into Gymboree and skip 3/4 of the store. I really do believe that unless you go HT (which is still far from a guarantee), it is a 50/50 chance no matter what you do. I just got three heads in a row in a game of coin toss. That's it. I'm not a bad person or unfit to be the mother of a daughter. There are far worse things that could happen to me than having three beautiful healthy boys. I just try to keep it in perspective. Good luck!

[1+2+3boys]

I don't know what I believe but wonder if I have been punished by karma even though I am a good person. As a child and growing up I always had this deep sorry feeling for families with 3 or more of one gender, especially for the parent that did not have a child of their gender. I always knew that I wanted a family with children of both genders and after I had my son and joined playgroups, I felt really sorry for the Mums with 3 or more of the same. Now I have three boys and want one more but sometimes wonder if it will be a boy too for punishment of all the thoughts I have had and the strong GD I have at times. I hope this is not the case. Or will I have my girl but something be wrong with her to teach me a lesson

[RKT Mama]

I believe that at the end of the day, I am the only one responsible for my own life and being the best person I can be. I cannot judge other people to be good or bad, they are the ones that have to be happy with themselves. I have 3 sons and sometimes I get sad, jelous or angry that people who look like they are bad parents get girls and I didn't.
But then I look at my boys and they are healthy and loud, I have food and a house and everything we really need. Other people must look at my life and feel the same emotions.
I am now pregnant with what is supposed to be a girl. I went through a long journey and lots of swaying to get her but then I look at other families on this site who have gone through so much more and not got the gender they wanted even though they probably deserve it more in karma terms.
I am petrified this baby comes out a boy but I know that if that were to happen it would be my own emotions I was dealing with, not that I have done something bad or good but just my own interpretation of what I want to happen

[motherofboys]

I want to believe in Karma, but some of the things I have experienced I think I must have been really bad in another life to have got that in this one. And now I think perhaps I'm just not good enough to have a girl, maybe I don't deserve one and wont do a good enough job. Maybe because I'm not girly enough I won't bring her up in the way a girl should be and I'm better suited to boys.
I know its irrational but its the sort of thing that goes through your head in these situations isn't it

[ocean]

Only as it relates to gender, at one point I had wondered if I was affecting my own destiny by being jealous when people got my DG, and happy/relieved when they didn't. Plus, it felt totally lousy to be 'relieved' when I thought (but didn't know) that someone didn't get what they wanted. I vowed to figure out how to be genuinely happy for my friends no matter what gender they got - and amazingly, over time, it worked. I felt real happiness for them. It didn't come back as karma in the end for me gender-wise, but I sure felt more at peace.