TTC girl after boy

[Boymama1]

My husband is early 40s and I’m almost 34. We have a son, and are hoping for a little girl (son was conceived first cycle and little did I know we were swaying blue based on our BDing patterns). First and foremost, I want a healthy baby, but if we could have a healthy baby girl I’d be over the moon. We’ve only been trying for two cycles, but I’m starting to wonder if the traditional methods are just not a good plan for us.

TTC cycle 1: abstinence and then BD day before positive OBK = BFN

TTC cycle 2: We BDed earlier in the cycle but out of the fertile window. I was away for a few days, and got home literally 12 ish hours before a positive OPK. I’m not 100% sure, but I think he released the day before we DTD. BD hours before positive “peak” OPK = BFN

I don’t really want to change my diet, but I have started lowering my salt intake and I’m a huge coffee drinker. Breakfast is hit or miss.

Based on our ages, what kind of frequency would you recommend? After my research I know abstinence is out, but I’m not sure if this once per month is the best approach either. What are your thoughts?

[atomic sagebrush]

Sodium doesn't actually sway, unfortunately, but of course your call to make.

Having sex before the positive OPK is quite low chances of conception. What I would have you do is have your husband release on his own or with you, with a condom, every 2-4 days throughout the cycle and then have one attempt the night of positive OPK. Then AFTER that, start having unprotected sex every 72 hours in case of delayed ovulation.

[atomic sagebrush]

And BTW - welcome to the site! Let me know how I can help.

[MiaMelb]

We are quite confident that coffee sways pink so no need to give that up. I drank 2-4 per day prior to my DDs.

[Boymama1]

You guys are wonderful, thank you!

I do have a clarification question though- when I say positive OPK, I use clear blue that give you high and peak fertility. Would you recommend waiting until I am at peak (and not high)? Everything I’ve been reading says high fertility is just as good and I have a high chance of pregnancy (and TTC girl), but it seems like you’re saying I’m going to risk not getting pregnant at all.

[atomic sagebrush]

Timing doesn't sway and you can read all the science behind it here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. And it's not a small risk, either, it's a large risk that you won't get pregnant. I've been helping people sway for 10 years on 2 different sites and people who have intercourse before the peak OPK reading have gone on many months and occasionally years (not on my watch!) BD before positive OPK. While it is ~possible~ to get pregnant from a "high" day, your best chance is going to be at "peak". We have seen quite poor chances of conception 3 days before O (and 4/5/6 days before the chances are nearly zero to zero) and that's what the "high" fertility will often equate to. EVen when the "high" comes 2 days before O, we've still gotten by far and away better chances at peak.