IVF or sway

[Mamabear88]

Hi!

I’m 30yrs old with 2DD. I’ve always wanted a son, so I’ve experienced gender disappointment twice. DH was finished with having children, but some how I’ve convinced him to try for 3rd. After this he wants a vasectomy. So basically this is my last chance at having DS. I’ve scheduled a consultation for IVF with gender selection. I live in a small town in Arkansas and there aren’t any nearby clinics. I found what I believe to be a good one about 4.5 hrs away. I worry about the travel and frequency of appointments. Can some things such as bloodwork and ultrasounds be done locally?
I have been slowly trying to prep my husband for what is to come with IVF. Financially we will be ok, but I’m not sure if he is ready for all it entails. Sometimes, I even get overwhelmed by the thoughts .This is where I contemplate just doing an aggressive boy sway. On average how many cycles does it take for IVF to work? I know it depends on many factors, but just wondering.

Can you share why you went with IVF or swaying? I’m struggling!

[Nell_]

I had ivf not for a specific gender but was taking a while to conceive! Right before we started i got pregnant but mc so went ahead with ivf anyway rather than stress and try again. Worked 1st time with me and was a breeze think a lot is mind over matter i found it all exciting rather than a negative experience. Im in the uk and had ivf in Ireland. I had an endo scratch before not sure if they do that at your clinic but it increases odds! Id go for it if i were you try to relax, reflexology massages eat healthy you will be fine im sure good luck �� ivf will ensure you get your boy worth a go at least

[4blue2pink]

if ivf is an option for you then do it, as Nell says it is a guarantee where as swaying is a gamble, even the very best of sways can fail.. the worst case scenario for you with ivf would be to cycle and end up with no boys, with swaying the worst case is that you end up pregnant with DD3. Another way to look at it is that with ivf for a boy you absolutely 100% will not get pregnant with a girl. If ivf doesnt work for whatever reasons swaying will still be here as your "plan B"
ivf with gender selection is illegal where i live, if it wasnt i would have gone that route for sure.
good luck with whatever you decide and i hope you guys get your boy :)

[Mamabear88]

Thanks for sharing! It’s refreshing to hear your story. I will look into endo scratch

[Georgia_Peach]

I've swayed and done ivf for gender and the assurance of a genetically normal embryo prior to transfer. After losing a child I didnt want to take any chances. It was hard. Emotionally and physically. But it was worth everything. We just welcome our ivf girl in October snd still have embryos left.

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[Mamabear88]

Thanks for responding! You’re right IVF can be 100% and if unsuccessful, swaying a plan B

[Mamabear88]

Congrats on your babygirl! Any advice for me? Did you follow a specific diet or take supplements to assist with IVF. Thanks!

[Georgia_Peach]

Congrats on your babygirl! Any advice for me? Did you follow a specific diet or take supplements to assist with IVF. Thanks!Read the book it starts with the egg. I followed most of it. I don't know if its 100% accurate but I had a successful round of ivf. Have you had preliminary testing done? Do you know your AMH number?
We only had to do one round of ivf but there are SO many factors involved in how many rounds are going to work. Especially if you are trying to only get a certain gender.

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[ksmom]

I've chosen to go the IVF route because I know I don't just want another baby, I want a girl. I swayed pink with my third and had DS3. After that I realized I couldn't risk swaying again. If you know you do not want another girl at all, then do IVF. Chances of it working do not improve with age and swaying will always be here if IVF doesn't work out. Good luck.

[Throwaway_panther]

It's what you feel you can do. I did two rounds of IVF for a boy and ended up with only unviable, abnormal boys and went back to swaying and still ended up not having a healthy boy. So I'm the cautionary tale, I feel -- but we had the added issue of only having miscarriages once I started swaying several years ago, and we discovered DH had some serious sperm issues contributing to all our issues. (I was 28 and with normal pretesting, so every doctor told us we'd be golden -- if only they had looked at DH before I dropped my entire life savings).

To answer your other questions, many clinics let testing and ultrasounds happen locally -- in my case, all my pretesting and monitoring happened locally for me, and our actual cycling was at a clinic 7 hours away. To keep costs down, we drove, stayed cheap, etc. So these things are all possible.

It's a hard road with no guarantees whatever option you choose -- you won't end up pregnant with a girl if you do IVF, but you might not end up pregnant period. If you sway, you're faced with a whole lot of other stresses. GD sucks either way.

aira22 on here had a successful boy sway after IVF, fyi, if she pops in here!

[atomic sagebrush]

I would suggest given your age that you guys pursue IVF. I always suggest that anyone who CAN do IVF (and have a decent chance of success, which at 30, you should) do IVF because it's the only way to get a guarantee of gender.

Swaying will always be here, if you try IVF and it doesn't work out. But your odds of IVF don't improve with time (plus obviously your husband woudl not be on board for a 4th anyway)

[Mamabear88]

Thanks for sharing your story! I thought a semen analysis was a part of the routine pretest? I agree! There are no guarantees. I just have to hope and pray.

[Mamabear88]

Is there anything in terms of diet, exercise or supplements, that could make my eggs more conducive to male sperm with IVF? Forgive me if the question doesn’t make sense

[2blue1pink]

I swayed, because I wanted a third living child no matter what, we planned for it to be our last but I was overly confident it would work. We ended up with DS3, and it was my 4th c-section (we have a dd that died that was my first c-section, then the three boys). I talked DH into having one more, knowing it HAD to be IVF, because I'm at the point where I did not want to risk a 6th pregnancy and 5th c-section (my pregnancies are all high risk) for another boy...I would have rather moved on and learned to live with not ever having a living daughter, than possibly a 4th boy. It took two cycles for us to get ONE embryo to be tested, and luck was on our side as it was a healthy XX and I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with her.

Even the best sway can fail and leave you with a sway opposite. Only you can decide if you are okay with that very real possibility. IVF can drain you of a lot of money and time and is no guarantee to be successful, but at least you know going in that you are not going to end up with an opposite unless you make that choice.

At age 30 and with normal fertility, your odds of having a successful IVF even in just 1 cycle are relatively decent.

[Mamabear88]

I swayed, because I wanted a third living child no matter what, we planned for it to be our last but I was overly confident it would work. We ended up with DS3, and it was my 4th c-section (we have a dd that died that was my first c-section, then the three boys). I talked DH into having one more, knowing it HAD to be IVF, because I'm at the point where I did not want to risk a 6th pregnancy and 5th c-section (my pregnancies are all high risk) for another boy...I would have rather moved on and learned to live with not ever having a living daughter, than possibly a 4th boy. It took two cycles for us to get ONE embryo to be tested, and luck was on our side as it was a healthy XX and I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with her.

Even the best sway can fail and leave you with a sway opposite. Only you can decide if you are okay with that very real possibility. IVF can drain you of a lot of money and time and is no guarantee to be successful, but at least you know going in that you are not going to end up with an opposite unless you make that choice.

At age 30 and with normal fertility, your odds of having a successful IVF even in just 1 cycle are relatively decent.

What an amazing story! Congratulations!

[LMSM]

To be honest, if IVF with GS is an option, I’d go for it. That way, you know for sure that the baby will be your desired gender - you have good odds of being successful quickly and you’d get what you want.
I sooo would if the option was available here in Australia, and hubby was up for it. Alas, neither are possible so swaying is our only way of hopefully upping our chances. I’ve been through infertility, and yet would still “subject myself to” IvF, as hard as it is, to have a son guaranteed.

;)

[atomic sagebrush]

Read the book it starts with the egg. I followed most of it. I don't know if its 100% accurate but I had a successful round of ivf. Have you had preliminary testing done? Do you know your AMH number?
We only had to do one round of ivf but there are SO many factors involved in how many rounds are going to work. Especially if you are trying to only get a certain gender.

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:agree: there are a couple things in ISWTE that I'm not a fan of so anyone who plans to do IVF, i"m always happy to go over your supps and point out anything that there's mixed evidence about safety. :) Good luck ladies

[Mamabear88]

:agree: there are a couple things in ISWTE that I'm not a fan of so anyone who plans to do IVF, i"m always happy to go over your supps and point out anything that there's mixed evidence about safety. :) Good luck ladies

I’m currently taking prenatal vitamins(NatureMade) and vitamin D3. I’m eating moderate carbs and high protein. What do you recommend in terms of supplements and diet?

[atomic sagebrush]

Is there anything in terms of diet, exercise or supplements, that could make my eggs more conducive to male sperm with IVF? Forgive me if the question doesn’t make sense

Oh whoops I missed this, sorry

When going IVF you need to do whatever it takes to boost your fertility sky high. You can't be doing swaying methods (many of which are meant to slightly reduce fertility) when doing IVF.

Some have said that having hubby take olive leaf extract 500-1000 mg daily may help with swaying AND IVF gender splits. While I'm skeptical, as of yet we've not seen any downsides to it so I would check that out. With IVF you're supposed to also have him take Vit. C along with it (altho I don't recommend that for swaying)

[atomic sagebrush]

I’m currently taking prenatal vitamins(NatureMade) and vitamin D3. I’m eating moderate carbs and high protein. What do you recommend in terms of supplements and diet?

For IVF I like you guys to eat a lower, but NOT very low carb diet such as South Beach, he Zone, Perfect Health Diet. You don't want a keto diet NOR a super carby diet, but a healthy middle range diet with healthy fats, protein, and healthy carbs like whole grains, fruit, and vegetables.

Full fat dairy only, no skim

Your doc will give you a list of things to take (which I'm always happy to go over)

The main issues I have with ISWTE are that I don't like the prenatal she recommends (Naturemade is ok with me tho) and then some of the other recommendations she gives for special circumstances are not always going to be right for everyone.

Just in brief some common supps for IVF that may not be good

Flaxseed: no one should ever take this when TTC or pregnant

Fish oil/aspirin: aspirin only under advice of doc, no more than 1000 fish oil and 500 is likely safer, and never do both high dose fish oil and aspirin (even when told to by a doctor) unless you know you have severe blood clotting disorders. When it's time to come off the aspirin (or fish oil for that matter) ALWAYS wean off even if doc says you don't need to. And then don't take a lot of things "to aid implatnation" like bromelain or even eat a lot of pineapple core, garlic, walnuts on top of high dose fish oil/aspirin

Always wean off folic acid/folate and progesterone even if doc says you don't need to Folate is better than folic acid and I prefer 2000 mcg all thru first trimester, then weaned off to amount in prenatal

Myoinositol not right for everyone and should not be taken unless you have moderate to severe PCOS, insulin resistance, or more than 30 lbs to spare (and wean off)

DHEA is not right for most people and should not be taken unless you've had DHEA tested and continued to test while taking it. Very rare for anyone under 35 or even 40 to need this supp adn should not be taken without supervision/blood tests

I'm skeptical on ALA and NAC but haven't made a judgement yet

MOST IMPORTANT: Melatonin. Melatonin can be a godsend for egg quality BUT it is NOT SAFE to be taken when you may become pregnant or during pregnancy (regardless of what anyone else tells you!). The only people who should be on Melatonin are those who will do egg retrieval for eggs that will be frozen and then transferred in future months. (and only under suggestion of your doc) If you will do a fresh transfer and be pregnant in the same month as egg retrieval you must not take Melatonin. Melatonin has been proven to cause developmental delays in baby when taken during pregnancy, and we do not know how long the effects last, so it's not safe to take up till you will be pregnant. Plus, since your body needs melatonin in early pregnancy, it is not safe to take it till BFP or egg retrieval and then drop it suddenly, it may interfere with your body's ability to sustain a pregnancy. You have to wean off melatonin, and the only safe way to use it for egg quality is with frozen transfers only so the egg will be retrieved, then you can wean off it, then you'll be pregnant at a later point in time after the melatonin supplement has left your body and it's making its own natural melatonin again that it can use to sustain the pregnancy.

[Mamabear88]

Thanks you! Very helpful! I what about CQ10?

[atomic sagebrush]

Coq10 is fine :agree:

[Dreamingofpink-19]

Hey there! I have 2 DS and I was in your same situation where I wanted to guarantee my chance for a girl. I went through IVF OGD and was unsuccessful. Luckily my insurance paid for most of it but I am still paying off what I owe and I don’t have a daughter to make it feel worth it. I ended up having 3 embroys, ALL boys. Through my research, IVF sways more boy in the PDG. Don’t know why. So here I am a few months still paying off my debt to IVF and now naturally swaying/praying for a girl!

(PS thank you atomic for all the information on this site to help my feel confident to go out and try naturally)

[Mamabear88]

Hey there! I have 2 DS and I was in your same situation where I wanted to guarantee my chance for a girl. I went through IVF OGD and was unsuccessful. Luckily my insurance paid for most of it but I am still paying off what I owe and I don’t have a daughter to make it feel worth it. I ended up having 3 embroys, ALL boys. Through my research, IVF sways more boy in the PDG. Don’t know why. So here I am a few months still paying off my debt to IVF and now naturally swaying/praying for a girl!

(PS thank you atomic for all the information on this site to help my feel confident to go out and try naturally)

Thanks for responding! We decided to go ahead and take a chance with IVF. I’m having anxiety seeing so many women who conceived naturally, struggle with IVF. We are only doing it once. The clinic is 4.5 hrs away and my husband will have to take a vacation from work. We don’t have family around, so we will have to spend about 9days in a hotel with the girls. We have money set aside for it , so it won’t be financially devastating for us but, I’m worried about the emotional toll. I am excited out consult is March 8. So we have some time

[Dreamingofpink-19]

We were a one and done scenario as well. I ended up retrieving 18 eggs. 16 mature eggs to use for IUI. Only 8 eggs made it to day 3. At day5, I only had 3 embryos to test. 1 normal boy, 2 embryos that had extra chromosome. We ended up donating our good embryo to a less fortunate couple who would produce embryos.

[Mamabear88]

We were a one and done scenario as well. I ended up retrieving 18 eggs. 16 mature eggs to use for IUI. Only 8 eggs made it to day 3. At day5, I only had 3 embryos to test. 1 normal boy, 2 embryos that had extra chromosome. We ended up donating our good embryo to a less fortunate couple who would produce embryos.


Kudos to you for donating. Such an amazing thing to do! We will attempt IVF and if unsuccessful sway. I am excited. Do you have a projected time for ttc?

[Georgia_Peach]

I dont know statistics if ivf sways boy or not... but we ended up with 26 eggs collected 11 frozen embryos made it. 7 PGS normal. + 2 undetermined (Could still be viable) 6 were girls and only 1 boy! Its literally just a coin toss I think.
Wish you the best of luck. I loved my clinic and it was a wonderful experience for me.
I'll probably be going back to transfer 1 more time... in the next few years!
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[Mamabear88]

I dont know statistics if ivf sways boy or not... but we ended up with 26 eggs collected 11 frozen embryos made it. 7 PGS normal. + 2 undetermined (Could still be viable) 6 were girls and only 1 boy! Its literally just a coin toss I think.
Wish you the best of luck. I loved my clinic and it was a wonderful experience for me.
I'll probably be going back to transfer 1 more time... in the next few years!
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That’s how I’m starting to feel, like everything just happens randomly. Was your cycle successful?

[Georgia_Peach]

That’s how I’m starting to feel, like everything just happens randomly. Was your cycle successful?I am not sure what you mean? Do you mean the transfer cycle? Obviously the egg retrieval was successful yes. 26 eggs collected is ALOT in the ivf world. I almost had OHSS though. Please Google that as it's a huge concern with ivf and can happen.
I got pregnant my first transfer yes and now have a healthy daughter. We were lucky though again because it can take a few cycles to get pregnant.

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[Mamabear88]

I am not sure what you mean? Do you mean the transfer cycle? Obviously the egg retrieval was successful yes. 26 eggs collected is ALOT in the ivf world. I almost had OHSS though. Please Google that as it's a huge concern with ivf and can happen.
I got pregnant my first transfer yes and now have a healthy daughter. We were lucky though again because it can take a few cycles to get pregnant.

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Sorry, I don’t have the IVF language down as yet. That’s amazing! I’m going with SIRM, they are the best clinic near me.

[Georgia_Peach]

Sorry, I don’t have the IVF language down as yet. That’s amazing! I’m going with SIRM, they are the best clinic near me.No worries.. its ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome. It can happen with a large amount of eggs produced. They are pretty good about monitoring meds though to prevent it. Best advice is to drink Gatorade after your egg retrieval.

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[mamasboys]

I hope you chose gender selection!!! Sorry, but swaying really doesn't work lol it's literally 50/50 and nothing we do will change those odds!!!!! The stats on here are ridiculous and it's literally a boy or a girl, that's it. Diets and exercise have nothing to do with it otherwise everyone would get the gender they desired. Good luck, I hope you did gender selection and saved your time and sanity!!
I hope everyone realizes this site just preys on your looming GD and overwhelming desire for one gender over another. I realized it quickly!! Save your money and put it towards gender selection!!

QUOTE=Mamabear88;1021343]Hi!

I’m 30yrs old with 2DD. I’ve always wanted a son, so I’ve experienced gender disappointment twice. DH was finished with having children, but some how I’ve convinced him to try for 3rd. After this he wants a vasectomy. So basically this is my last chance at having DS. I’ve scheduled a consultation for IVF with gender selection. I live in a small town in Arkansas and there aren’t any nearby clinics. I found what I believe to be a good one about 4.5 hrs away. I worry about the travel and frequency of appointments. Can some things such as bloodwork and ultrasounds be done locally?
I have been slowly trying to prep my husband for what is to come with IVF. Financially we will be ok, but I’m not sure if he is ready for all it entails. Sometimes, I even get overwhelmed by the thoughts .This is where I contemplate just doing an aggressive boy sway. On average how many cycles does it take for IVF to work? I know it depends on many factors, but just wondering.

Can you share why you went with IVF or swaying? I’m struggling![/QUOTE]

[girl_hope]

If I had the money, I would for sure do IVF because it's a sure thing (getting the baby of the sex you want, not getting pregnant, obviously) versus a sway. I'm swaying because I can't afford IVF with PGD.

[atomic sagebrush]

I hope you chose gender selection!!! Sorry, but swaying really doesn't work lol it's literally 50/50 and nothing we do will change those odds!!!!! The stats on here are ridiculous and it's literally a boy or a girl, that's it. Diets and exercise have nothing to do with it otherwise everyone would get the gender they desired. Good luck, I hope you did gender selection and saved your time and sanity!!
I hope everyone realizes this site just preys on your looming GD and overwhelming desire for one gender over another. I realized it quickly!! Save your money and put it towards gender selection!!


I prey on no one.

You know why I started this site? Because people WERE getting preyed on. Charlatans were making impossible promises based on lies, people were ruining their marriages, their health, and potentially harming the healthy of their future pregnancies. I go above and beyond the call of duty urging everyone who can do IVF, to do IVF. I go above and beyond the call of duty reminding people to stay realistic and to never ever ever go into swaying viewing it as a guarantee. I do as much as I can to get the desired gender for as many people as I can however I can and I have never, ever, ever lied about anyone's chances with swaying, if anything I regularly UNDERestimate the amount I think swaying can help. I don't manipulate any numbers. People self-report their results. I don't keep the stats, I'm not even involved in tracking them and the person who does is an unpaid volunteer who never even got their desired gender.

The fact is, if you have the money to do gender selection, you're luckier than the vast majority of people on Planet Earth. I know it's fun to put down people like you're Marie Antoinette saying "let them eat cake" to the little people who cannot afford IVF, and break your arm patting yourself on the back for your cleverness at having money and everything, but that ain't most of us. It isn't the case for most of us who live in Europe, the US, and Australia, and it sure isn't the people who come to us from other nations around the globe, some of whom are in situations of incredible desperation the likes of which you and I can't even imagine.

You don't want to sway? Hey, cool. If you want to encourage other people to do IVF, hey, also cool (and you'll see about 10,000 other posts on here where I did exactly that to every person who possibly could do IVF). But nothing gives you the right, from a position of incredible privilege, to come in here and mock the people who have no other choice, and to make a claim that I am acting out of any other motivation than the desire for people to get their desired gender in a way that is safe and sane, thereby actually saving them from falling into the hands of those who are unethical, who will give them terrible advice that will possibly harm their health and their unborn baby's health.

Because it's completely and utterly untrue.