Trying to find my life path... any advice appreciated 😊

[kittendreams]

Hi girls,
Some of you may know me as I've had two failed sways and others won't as I've been quiet here since I found out my 2nd sway failed and my ds3 was born 6 weeks ago.

I'm probably just wanting to write down my thoughts but I would really appreciate any insight you may have too.

I and dh thought 3 was it for us ) when we thought we would have a dd) but #4 is on the table for now.

I'm 39 in a few months- dh is 40 early next year. This means #4 needs to be conceived sooner rather than later due to age/work/finances.

I went to a psychic in the midst of my gd while pregnant with ds3 and she told me I would have a daughter.... but not for another 4 or so years! Now I know my dh, and being 43-44 and still in the baby phase won't fly with him- no way no how! I would wait forever for my daughter but that is not realistic.
So as much as I want to believe this psychic ( my heart leaps to think of it) I know I can't listen to her or I will never have a chance at my dd.
AND I can hear Atomic crying out not to believe her as well!!!

So where I stand is I cannot wait 4 years I need to have a 4th in the next year or two.
But I just feel so defeated- I've had two failed hard core sways is this just never going to happen for us?
And if I pluck up the courage to try again- do I sway or leave it to fate? And if I sway what the hell do I try next? I've done everything before!
I feel so strongly that there is a daughter for me, I dream of her, my son even says he wants a sister next and says it like it's really going to happen.
My heart hurts every day as much as I love my beautiful sons and even as I'm holding my perfect 6 week old baby boy in my arms right now I just know this can't be it!

Like I said just a think out loud post to mummas who know how I feel but if you have any guidance please feel free to comment xx

[Nell_]

Congratulations on your baby boy! Im sure other mums with more experience will help but just thought id chime in with what id do... you only live once and i believe you should follow your dreams if it were me id go for number 4 and soon as you feel ready after this little one, and id probably just leave it to fate and do a gentle sway but only if i could accept a 4th boy of course but obviously hoping for your girl. I hope you get your daughter kitten :HH:

[kittendreams]

Thanks so much for responding Nell xx yes I do agree with you there we only have one shot at this life and it's going to be a long time after my fertile years to regret not trying one more time for a 4th and hopefully a dd.
I also am leaning toward a light sway too- I figure close spacing may sway pink, our age may sway pink and dh does smoke so there's that too!

Other than that I've got heaps of pregnancy weight to lose so that could help too!
Thanks again and good luck to you too x

[JaneL]

Hi kitten

Just wanted to let you know I am in a very similar position. I have 3 sons.....two sway opposites, second son was a light sway but third son was a strong sway.

We also had agreed only 3 kids but now I keep thinking about the fourth. I adore my boys but I feel like there is a picece of the puzzle missing. My husband had agreed to try for a fourth because I would love another baby.

I’m so nervous about going again tho ..... I’m already so busy with 3 kids and I’m scared another child could be too much and I won’t be able to give everyone the attention they deserve.

I was very down when I found out my third was a boy ....he is 11 months now and I have been besotted with him from the minute he was born. I’m really enjoying being a mum of 3 boys! I just can’t shake the feeling that someone is missing from our family.

I’m scared of being pregnant again and getting my hopes up that I’m having a girl xx

[kittendreams]

Hi Jane thanks for responding.
We sound very similar and I'm sorry you are going through this indecision and hurt as well.
I think it's extra hard because 3 was our number so having three was easy because I always wanted 3 children- it's just I thought there would be a girl in there somewhere! But 4 was never an option so it feels extra scary and the stakes are so much higher. It feels like it would be a whole other life for us as a family of 6 I'm not sure why?
I honestly have no idea how I would react to a 4th boy- I would hope I would get over it and love him just as much as I did ds3 but what if I don't?



Are you planning to sway this time? When are you thinking of ttc if you do go for a 4th?
I totally get the being scared of being pregnant again and going through those awful gd feelings- I'm sending you lots of pink dust and crossing everything you get your girl xx

[Nell_]

Thank you kitten! I hope we get our daughters and you too jane! I've heard 4 is easy after 3, you girls are pros 😘 i always say the more the merrier! Xox

[4blue2pink]

Im with Nell on this Kitten, you only get one life :)
I couldnt of stopped without a girl so i completely get where you're coming from!!
for some reason i seem to attract old ladies when im out with the kids, they often come over to talk to me and at this point ive had so many tell me that they always wanted x-amount of kids or just "more" kids but stopped short (usually due to other people telling them they should be done) my friends aunt even randomly told me at a wedding that she always wanted 4 but stopped at 2 because people said she should.. all these ladies are way past the point of being able to have more but they still regret it, clearly its not a feeling that just goes away with time..
on the other hand some of the old ladies who've approached me have told me about how they had a larger family and guess what.. no regrets voiced from them, the thing they all say to me is that its hard work now but so rewarding when the kids are older :) when i think about the different encounters with these ladies and then think to the future i know which "group" i want to be in when i get to that age.

is 4 more work than 3? yes. but as the old ladies have assured me so many times, it does get easier!! they arent little forever they do all grow up regardless of how many you have :) i went to school with a family with 10 kids and their youngest just moved out, so thats the 2 parents by themselves at home now after raising 10 kids!! its not all nappies and toys and kids "stuff" forever.

I so hope you do get your little girl :heart: and i promise you you wont regret #4 xx

[Nell_]

We have a lady in the uk she has 21 children, she's 42 i think now and still not saying no to potentially more! It sounds like your heart is telling you to go for #4 xox

[kittendreams]

Thanks Nell and 4blue xx

Yes it is such a strong feeling and it will not ever go away- I know that because I know me I never give up on anything.
I think the stress of having 4 kids would be far better than the regret I would feel at not trying again and my fertile years are gone. I already feel regret that I didn't explore ivf/pgd when I was under 35- I just didn't know I would end up here.
The work of 4 will be more but I am not afraid of hard work- I like it but I do worry that my other 3 may get less time and help when they need it so that concerns me more than extra work.

I'm from a big family myself so it's not completely foreign to me I just need to wrap my head around our family being bigger than we agreed and having kids later than we agreed.

Nell and Jane I will be following you both and cheering you on xx
4blue I cannot wait to see what your next little one is- I am in awe of your ability to go team green. Have you any tips for doing it? I would love to do it just once to experience a delivery room surprise but am worried it may increase my gd and effect bonding with Bub.

[kittendreams]

4blue old ladies ( and surprising old men who dote on my boys) find me too! And so many of them have 3 boys and loved it which warms my heart. They often say their sons live close and they look after their Mum and treat her like a queen so I guess 4 boys would be even better than 3 in that respect!

Lately I have seen/noticed a lot of 3 boys/ 1 girl families and they just look perfect to me- I want this so bad!

[rayalynn1]

I'm in a similar situation.
I have never swayed, but we have three little boys and didnt want more than 3... now we are planning to sway for #4. I very much would love to have a daughter. So much that it hurts.

As hard as it is to avoid because of the pain and emotions attached to the longing, I just dont want to put myself in a situation where I fixate so much in having a little girl that I loose sight of how wonderful another little boy could be. I want to go into this sway already in love with the idea of a little boy... because to be honest I feel like I only make boys and I dont want to become so wrapped up in the sway process that I'm devastated if it doesnt work. (I probably still will be)

This has been helping me: I have spent time picturing a 4th little boy. I have found a name I love, and I imagine him with his name attached to the image. "My little Joshaua". I picture my other three boys doting on him and him being the baby of our family. I have almost created him as part of the picture of our future. Now I'll sway and if it fails, I'll meet a little boy who I have already pictured and grown to love. I tell my other boys that if mommy has another baby it will be a boy and I get them excited about the potential for another brother. It devastated me in my third pregnancy when my son kept saying he wanted it to be a girl :*(

If it's a girl then everyone will be happily surprised I'm sure. But I go in doubting it will be. Because honestly... it will probably be my precious little boy #4... Gods plan for my life. And that's ok!

Good luck whatever you decide ♡♡♡
I truly believe we are given what were meant to have. And for good reason! (In the opposite way I picture Joshua, I imagine fighting with an unruly teenage daughter who thinks she knows everything and it makes me happy for my passive little boys hahaah)

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[LMSM]

Kitten, we’ve discussed this before..and my thoughts are the exact same, just scared of a 4th girl!
I think it’s a matter of preparing for a 4th same gender child and hoping for a girl, in your case :) I like the idea of daydreaming of #4 being the same gender- so that you envisage the future with all boys..and then if’ #4 is a girl..well, icing on The cake! :D
When I see miss S now, man, how could I regret her? You certainly regret the children you don’t have, not the ones you do. Sooo many old ladies give their insights on that - kids are kids and they grow so fast, it’s hard but the more you have the more love you get too!
(I worry also that IF I get a boy next, I will want another boy to give him a playmate amongst three older sisters. Twin boys would solve the issue haha)

If you need to chat you know where to find me
Xx

[dreamofdaughter]

Good luck with whatever you choose, kitten. I still hope for one more. I am of a similar mindset that I’m now imagining a boy or a girl. I have a boy and a girl name just for myself (DH won’t like either but this is just for me, for now :)).

I agree that you only live once!

[Nell_]

If you could afford pgd can't they use donor eggs if 35+ can understand why you and your dh wouldn't do this for obvious reasons though but maybe an option... will be rooting for you too 😊💕💕

[kittendreams]

I'm in a similar situation.
I have never swayed, but we have three little boys and didnt want more than 3... now we are planning to sway for #4. I very much would love to have a daughter. So much that it hurts.

As hard as it is to avoid because of the pain and emotions attached to the longing, I just dont want to put myself in a situation where I fixate so much in having a little girl that I loose sight of how wonderful another little boy could be. I want to go into this sway already in love with the idea of a little boy... because to be honest I feel like I only make boys and I dont want to become so wrapped up in the sway process that I'm devastated if it doesnt work. (I probably still will be)

This has been helping me: I have spent time picturing a 4th little boy. I have found a name I love, and I imagine him with his name attached to the image. "My little Joshaua". I picture my other three boys doting on him and him being the baby of our family. I have almost created him as part of the picture of our future. Now I'll sway and if it fails, I'll meet a little boy who I have already pictured and grown to love. I tell my other boys that if mommy has another baby it will be a boy and I get them excited about the potential for another brother. It devastated me in my third pregnancy when my son kept saying he wanted it to be a girl :*(

If it's a girl then everyone will be happily surprised I'm sure. But I go in doubting it will be. Because honestly... it will probably be my precious little boy #4... Gods plan for my life. And that's ok!

Good luck whatever you decide ♡♡♡
I truly believe we are given what were meant to have. And for good reason! (In the opposite way I picture Joshua, I imagine fighting with an unruly teenage daughter who thinks she knows everything and it makes me happy for my passive little boys hahaah)

Sent from my SM-G965W using Tapatalk

Oh this is great advice Rayalynn thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story.

You know I have already started doing this somewhat- I was thinking of a boys name the other day that would suit my other 3 and thinking about what 4 boys would be like to take camping etc.

I definitely have to go into this realistically I mean I've swayed twice and got opposites both times- something tells me I'm not meant to invest too much into a sway this time.
I have been swaying on and off since early 2015 and I'm just so tired and frazzled with it. The gd added to it is just mentally unhealthy.

I look forward to following your journey here- are you actively ttc yet?

Crossing everything you get your little pink bundle xx

[kittendreams]

Kitten, we’ve discussed this before..and my thoughts are the exact same, just scared of a 4th girl!
I think it’s a matter of preparing for a 4th same gender child and hoping for a girl, in your case :) I like the idea of daydreaming of #4 being the same gender- so that you envisage the future with all boys..and then if’ #4 is a girl..well, icing on The cake! :D
When I see miss S now, man, how could I regret her? You certainly regret the children you don’t have, not the ones you do. Sooo many old ladies give their insights on that - kids are kids and they grow so fast, it’s hard but the more you have the more love you get too!
(I worry also that IF I get a boy next, I will want another boy to give him a playmate amongst three older sisters. Twin boys would solve the issue haha)

If you need to chat you know where to find me
Xx

Oh I know you have consoled me and guided me so much LMSM you will never know how much it means- I swear you have pulled me from the brink more than a few times haha xx

I agree daydreaming of a 4th boy or girl ( in your case) is healthy- it prepares us and hopefully will cushion the shock if indeed we get our 4 of a kind!
I think too that when I found out boy #3 was joining us it felt so foreign and I couldn't imagine having 3 boys but as you know he's here now and it's so natural he fits right in and I honestly love having 3 boys- it feels special somehow. Soooo if we get a 4th same gender I know it will work out I will get over it and he will fit in perfectly.

Thank you my friend for everything xx

[kittendreams]

Good luck with whatever you choose, kitten. I still hope for one more. I am of a similar mindset that I’m now imagining a boy or a girl. I have a boy and a girl name just for myself (DH won’t like either but this is just for me, for now :)).

I agree that you only live once!

Hehe you sound like me- the name I've picked dh said no to last time but I figure I deserve a name I really want! Good luck to you I will follow you and cross everything you get your dd too xx

[kittendreams]

If you could afford pgd can't they use donor eggs if 35+ can understand why you and your dh wouldn't do this for obvious reasons though but maybe an option... will be rooting for you too ������

Oh I wish it were an option but the odds of it working at our age just don't justify the money and travel it entails. I dream about it all the time though!

[kittendreams]

Kitten, we’ve discussed this before..and my thoughts are the exact same, just scared of a 4th girl!
I think it’s a matter of preparing for a 4th same gender child and hoping for a girl, in your case :) I like the idea of daydreaming of #4 being the same gender- so that you envisage the future with all boys..and then if’ #4 is a girl..well, icing on The cake! :D
When I see miss S now, man, how could I regret her? You certainly regret the children you don’t have, not the ones you do. Sooo many old ladies give their insights on that - kids are kids and they grow so fast, it’s hard but the more you have the more love you get too!
(I worry also that IF I get a boy next, I will want another boy to give him a playmate amongst three older sisters. Twin boys would solve the issue haha)

If you need to chat you know where to find me
Xx


Twin boys!!!!! What a beautiful thought LMSM- now that would really ice the cake!

[rayalynn1]

Oh this is great advice Rayalynn thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story.

You know I have already started doing this somewhat- I was thinking of a boys name the other day that would suit my other 3 and thinking about what 4 boys would be like to take camping etc.

I definitely have to go into this realistically I mean I've swayed twice and got opposites both times- something tells me I'm not meant to invest too much into a sway this time.
I have been swaying on and off since early 2015 and I'm just so tired and frazzled with it. The gd added to it is just mentally unhealthy.

I look forward to following your journey here- are you actively ttc yet?

Crossing everything you get your little pink bundle xxKitten I just ordered my stay plan so we wont be trying for another three months once my body is ready.

I'll be excited to walk this journey together if you guys give it a go!!

Praying for healthy babies for all of us!!

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[kittendreams]

Kitten I just ordered my stay plan so we wont be trying for another three months once my body is ready.

I'll be excited to walk this journey together if you guys give it a go!!

Praying for healthy babies for all of us!!

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I would love that Rayalynn!
I ordered a sway plan last time and it was awesome having Atomic there to guide me xx

[Pbn3]

Kittendreams I would love nothing more than to see you conceive your longed for dd. Having just looked at your sways I'm amazed how good they were!!! I too would do a light sway and yes absolutely would give it another go! I see you used clomid for your last sway, is that an option again? Better to 'up' yours odds even a small amount than not at all so yeah I would definately incorporate the most successsful factors which seem to be diet (perhaps a looser version or pcos version, I'm sure atomic had those with sway opposites go to this sometimes? but I may be wrong or info out of date) and one attempt (perhaps the one at pos opk rather than e4d?) and clomid. Having 3 children I would never suggest the exercise as my gosh how would you ever have the energy??!!

As for age, I turned 40 when my dd turned 6 months and dh turned 47. I ideally would have loved even more kids! It truly has been a case of the more I have the more I want more?!! I honestly think if I'd had the time and health I would've liked 5 kids [emoji33] I and dh both did notice the sleep deprivation was noticably worse though, as in coping with it lol, but here we are a year and a bit in and are dealing with it.... Still.... unfortunately [emoji23][emoji23]

I'm pretty sure you know the circumstances around my journey but to summarise it was two years trying beginning 2015, lost 3 pregnancies in 2016 then after a final go at just gettimg pregnant, did 3 cycles of clomid and multiple attempts each time. This obviously failed and I was happen to move on from ttc in March 2017 (not as happy as dh though lol). I fell pregnant from an unplanned and unprotected bd the following cycle (first and only sex since previous cycles attempts) I had been drinking alot more than usual as it was easter break and I was feeling 'free' and so happy to not be ttc that I really let loose [emoji2356] I am only relaying this so you get a picture of my mindset I suppose and the 'successful factors' (clomid, alcohol and one attempt) that somehow resulted in me being so very lucky enough to have just one more pregnancy and child. Through some amazing luck she was a girl.

While I would love to see you try once more and in a more relaxed laid back approach, I also cant bear to think of encouraging you to do something that may/will cause you a lot of grief if unsuccessful. I had reached a place in my life where my crappy fertility and losses finally allowed me to embrace the idea and even hope towards the end for a 3rd boy. I feel so blessed to have had that peace during my final pregnancy in life and it truly enabled me to savour every pregnancy milestone and remain team green. That's all well and good for me, but what about you?? You really need to put yourself first in this situation, especially your mental health.

I wasn't sure what to write initially especially when I got my dd unplanned, it seems insulting to say, but somehow this novel came out and I only mean everything I've said in the most lovimg way, so please know it is from the heart and I wish you peace and happiness in whatever you eventually decide to do.


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[Lilawt]

Hi Kitten !

I’ve followed your posts now since you found out you were expecting ds3, so happy to hear how well you have bonded and how he has settled in to your family perfectly.

I’m definitely on the ‘go for it!’ Team. At the end of the day I can only see it as a win win situation. If your baby is your longed for daughter, I , like many others, will be over the moon for you, however IF you are blessed with a boy then you are also very lucky. Another beautiful baby , different face, different personality but still a huge part of your heart. Someone else to cuddle and kiss and in later life someone to come to you for guidance and support. The heart wants what it wants I know this from my own experience but every child regardless of gender is their own person and I just know whoever comes into your family next will bring with them a huge amount of love.

I agree with going for a lighter sway. When I have read some of the sways that resulted in opposites I have seen quite a few of them were from sways that were stuck to for quite a long time, yours included I think. Obviously you can’t help how long it takes to conceive but perhaps trying a lighter sway that still incorporates the most successful aspects would be easier to go with long term and would mean there was less pressure and stress on you.

Good luck to you!

Lil


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[4blue2pink]

Thanks Nell and 4blue xx
4blue I cannot wait to see what your next little one is- I am in awe of your ability to go team green. Have you any tips for doing it? I would love to do it just once to experience a delivery room surprise but am worried it may increase my gd and effect bonding with Bub.

for me team green was about wanting to have that experience at least once, and it is one of those things that can only happen while you are having babies, same with drug-free birth or breastfeeding etc.. they are all life experiences that you can only have during your relatively short child-bearing window if that makes sense? I knew id look back with regret if i never had at least 1 team green baby!! i tried with DD2 but caved at my scan at 37 weeks.. instantly regretted it and knew i was 100% team green next time no matter what!! in the end that next surprise baby was DS5 (sway opposite) but i was so glad to have experienced the surprise and for me it saved me from having my pregnancy destroyed by hearing "boy" at 20w scan. i went through the whole pregnancy just enjoying it for the first time ever which was amazing :)
names wise i also had a name i loved for DS4 but dh said no.. then we had 2 girls so the name sat on the shelf but it was still my boy name, there were no other boy names for me!! even though i wanted girls i also felt that if i got what i wanted then that name would be the "name that got away" for me, so when DS5 arrived i put the name forward again and amazingly dh agreed :) my sway failed but i got "him" i got my W :)
love that the old ladies (and gents) find you too!! :) i love how they puts things into perspective, its so easy to get lost in the little child phase and lose sight of the fact that they will grow up and that regrets do last so do things while you can!!

sway wise id do PCOS diet, 1 attempt, clomid if you want to/can and if you can go for a walk most days or something then do but dont exercise yourself into the ground :) (i walked the dog for my exercise this time) Atomic switched me to PCOS diet this time after having an opposite and its such a different diet!! if you didnt do it before id give it a try xx

[kittendreams]

Kittendreams I would love nothing more than to see you conceive your longed for dd. Having just looked at your sways I'm amazed how good they were!!! I too would do a light sway and yes absolutely would give it another go! I see you used clomid for your last sway, is that an option again? Better to 'up' yours odds even a small amount than not at all so yeah I would definately incorporate the most successsful factors which seem to be diet (perhaps a looser version or pcos version, I'm sure atomic had those with sway opposites go to this sometimes? but I may be wrong or info out of date) and one attempt (perhaps the one at pos opk rather than e4d?) and clomid. Having 3 children I would never suggest the exercise as my gosh how would you ever have the energy??!!

As for age, I turned 40 when my dd turned 6 months and dh turned 47. I ideally would have loved even more kids! It truly has been a case of the more I have the more I want more?!! I honestly think if I'd had the time and health I would've liked 5 kids [emoji33] I and dh both did notice the sleep deprivation was noticably worse though, as in coping with it lol, but here we are a year and a bit in and are dealing with it.... Still.... unfortunately [emoji23][emoji23]

I'm pretty sure you know the circumstances around my journey but to summarise it was two years trying beginning 2015, lost 3 pregnancies in 2016 then after a final go at just gettimg pregnant, did 3 cycles of clomid and multiple attempts each time. This obviously failed and I was happen to move on from ttc in March 2017 (not as happy as dh though lol). I fell pregnant from an unplanned and unprotected bd the following cycle (first and only sex since previous cycles attempts) I had been drinking alot more than usual as it was easter break and I was feeling 'free' and so happy to not be ttc that I really let loose [emoji2356] I am only relaying this so you get a picture of my mindset I suppose and the 'successful factors' (clomid, alcohol and one attempt) that somehow resulted in me being so very lucky enough to have just one more pregnancy and child. Through some amazing luck she was a girl.

While I would love to see you try once more and in a more relaxed laid back approach, I also cant bear to think of encouraging you to do something that may/will cause you a lot of grief if unsuccessful. I had reached a place in my life where my crappy fertility and losses finally allowed me to embrace the idea and even hope towards the end for a 3rd boy. I feel so blessed to have had that peace during my final pregnancy in life and it truly enabled me to savour every pregnancy milestone and remain team green. That's all well and good for me, but what about you?? You really need to put yourself first in this situation, especially your mental health.

I wasn't sure what to write initially especially when I got my dd unplanned, it seems insulting to say, but somehow this novel came out and I only mean everything I've said in the most lovimg way, so please know it is from the heart and I wish you peace and happiness in whatever you eventually decide to do.


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Oh Pbn of course I know you come from a loving place you are one of the most caring people here- we are so grateful for you xx
I know your story and think of you often and am so so happy you have your dear daughter and third child at long last! Plus being a qlder too I'm particularly interested in your journey!
Every word you said was so comforting and helpful and I do need to be in that mindset of being grateful/excited for another child regardless of gender and definitely ease up on the sway-cession as a result.

Yes I want to do pcos diet this time just need to wrap my head around it- I also want to try myo-inositol as I have heaps of baby weight to lose. Definitely would try clomid again and definitely only one attempt well before o.
Although I've got the 3 boys I would still do the exercise somehow- even if it means being on the treadmill after the boys are asleep. It's just too good a tactic I think.
So yeah that's my sway I guess. I've got 20 kg to lose so that should keep me busy!

How is your beautiful miss M and your beautiful boys?
And I hear you on the sleep- I sometimes wonder if I'll ever truly sleep again ��

[kittendreams]

Hi Kitten !

I’ve followed your posts now since you found out you were expecting ds3, so happy to hear how well you have bonded and how he has settled in to your family perfectly.

I’m definitely on the ‘go for it!’ Team. At the end of the day I can only see it as a win win situation. If your baby is your longed for daughter, I , like many others, will be over the moon for you, however IF you are blessed with a boy then you are also very lucky. Another beautiful baby , different face, different personality but still a huge part of your heart. Someone else to cuddle and kiss and in later life someone to come to you for guidance and support. The heart wants what it wants I know this from my own experience but every child regardless of gender is their own person and I just know whoever comes into your family next will bring with them a huge amount of love.

I agree with going for a lighter sway. When I have read some of the sways that resulted in opposites I have seen quite a few of them were from sways that were stuck to for quite a long time, yours included I think. Obviously you can’t help how long it takes to conceive but perhaps trying a lighter sway that still incorporates the most successful aspects would be easier to go with long term and would mean there was less pressure and stress on you.

Good luck to you!

Lil


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Oh beautiful words as always lil you are a sweetheart!
So so true- every child is a new personality and new cherished member of our clan. Ds3 has taught me that. I honestly just could not imagine having 3 boys at one point but now it is like I can't imagine not having them! It's amazing really.

And yes I swayed too long and too early after ds2s birth last time. As a result my ovulation took too long to return pp and I think the effect of the sway just wore off. This time I will wait for my ppaf to return and then begin my sway for 12 weeks before first attempt. I simply don't have the time to have a delayed cycle return at this point in my life so at the moment I'm eating everything and anything and not trying to lose any weight actively.

I will be following you too and praying you get your longed for dd as well Lil xx

[JaneL]

I am so glad to have found this forum - I have read all the replies and it’s so nice knowing there is others in a similar situation! Reading everyone’s comments has made me more confident to have baby number 4! I really believe you will never regret having another child & I love the thought of a big family when they are all older.

I feel a lot more at peace at the thought of having a fourth boy .....and I know i would adore him just like my other 3.

I’m still breastfeeding my 11 month old and my periods have not returned yet. I plan to wean him off at the end of this month and then hope to ttc number 4 once my fertility returns.

I’m hoping to do a light sway .... make diet changes, increase the number of days I go walking, take clomid, 1 attempt. I find the diet the hardest ....I snack a lot and love red meat!

Hoping we all get our girls xx

[kittendreams]

for me team green was about wanting to have that experience at least once, and it is one of those things that can only happen while you are having babies, same with drug-free birth or breastfeeding etc.. they are all life experiences that you can only have during your relatively short child-bearing window if that makes sense? I knew id look back with regret if i never had at least 1 team green baby!! i tried with DD2 but caved at my scan at 37 weeks.. instantly regretted it and knew i was 100% team green next time no matter what!! in the end that next surprise baby was DS5 (sway opposite) but i was so glad to have experienced the surprise and for me it saved me from having my pregnancy destroyed by hearing "boy" at 20w scan. i went through the whole pregnancy just enjoying it for the first time ever which was amazing :)
names wise i also had a name i loved for DS4 but dh said no.. then we had 2 girls so the name sat on the shelf but it was still my boy name, there were no other boy names for me!! even though i wanted girls i also felt that if i got what i wanted then that name would be the "name that got away" for me, so when DS5 arrived i put the name forward again and amazingly dh agreed :) my sway failed but i got "him" i got my W :)
love that the old ladies (and gents) find you too!! :) i love how they puts things into perspective, its so easy to get lost in the little child phase and lose sight of the fact that they will grow up and that regrets do last so do things while you can!!

sway wise id do PCOS diet, 1 attempt, clomid if you want to/can and if you can go for a walk most days or something then do but dont exercise yourself into the ground :) (i walked the dog for my exercise this time) Atomic switched me to PCOS diet this time after having an opposite and its such a different diet!! if you didnt do it before id give it a try xx

4blue I just love your replies you are such a treasure and so wise!

Any tips for the pcos diet it looks so different to LE and I will definitely be doing it this time as well as exercise again for sure.

I love your story of going team green finally and yes it's so true it is only something you can experience during these short years and I am a person who wants to try everything once! It will take will power and getting dh on board but I really really think I will do it this time.

I hope pregnancy is treating you well!
Thanks again for your reply it means the world to me xx

[kittendreams]

I am so glad to have found this forum - I have read all the replies and it’s so nice knowing there is others in a similar situation! Reading everyone’s comments has made me more confident to have baby number 4! I really believe you will never regret having another child & I love the thought of a big family when they are all older.

I feel a lot more at peace at the thought of having a fourth boy .....and I know i would adore him just like my other 3.

I’m still breastfeeding my 11 month old and my periods have not returned yet. I plan to wean him off at the end of this month and then hope to ttc number 4 once my fertility returns.

I’m hoping to do a light sway .... make diet changes, increase the number of days I go walking, take clomid, 1 attempt. I find the diet the hardest ....I snack a lot and love red meat!

Hoping we all get our girls xx

Your sway plan sounds spot on Jane- so wise to wean Bub first it will make it easier for sure. I may do the same this time as I have conceived two boys while breastfeeding now and while I know it sways pink I think it just complicates my sway too much when I really don't have time on my side anymore.
So glad this thread has helped you feel more confident- it has helped me immensely too and when I posted it I had in my mind hey this could really help others on the fence too so I'm stoked it has xx

[ABC.2606]

Kitten - Like Pbn I’ve been trying to think about how to respond to you as well and like Pbn, prepare for my novel… cuz as it turns out I do have lot of thoughts on this subject!

So, the "practical" side of me worries – what if she does have a 4th and it’s a boy… can she survive the GD again? Honestly – I was SO worried about you after you found out DS3 was a boy and disappeared from here for awhile. And believe me – I’m not judging you at all for staying away and I totally understand why you did!! You had to go through a process to work through the news - a quite beautiful process it sounded like, as you told us about the time you spent bonding and reconnecting with your boys. But I just want you to be OK and happy and hate to think about you having to go through GD again. But maybe that’s where going Team Green may be the best choice for you if you do have another, so that you can at least try to focus your energy on enjoying the pregnancy and if it is a boy, you wont know that until you’re holding him and already madly in love with his sweet little face!

Here’s where the “non-practical” side of my thinking comes from… Exactly 1 year ago at this time I was in the middle of a horribly depressing period of my life. I’d just had my 3rd miscarriage in less than a year – the “missed miscarriage”, the one that I had to have a D&C to remove. To this day I remain convinced that baby was a little girl. At that time I was sending PM’s on here to Pbn and Mommy2Apples (they were a HUGE support to me during that period and I remain forever grateful to them for it) about how depressed I was and how I couldn’t keep trying anymore. I’d pretty much lost hope that not only would I never have my DD, I would never even have another child period. I drank a lot of alcohol that month. I cried myself to sleep every night. I was very, very close to giving up TTC completely, and yet, I still didn’t know how on Earth I could give up on my dream of a daughter. To sum it up, March 2018 really, really sucked.

Exactly one year later and I’m here snuggling my beautiful daughter and my “bonus” DS3. Never in a thousand years would I have imagined last March that one year later I would have two perfect, healthy twins, and that one of them would be the little DD I was so obsessed with meeting. Nor did I know that I could love another DS as much as I love DS3. His big, beautiful almond eyes have me completely hooked!

So all that is to say… I don’t blame you, and I will encourage and cheer you on 100% if you decide to throw out what’s “practical” and hold steadfast to your dream of finding your DD. Because you have every right and every reason to believe that she is still out there and waiting, and that one day, soon hopefully, you’ll be holding her in your arms. In the midst of my darkest, most hopeless moments last March, somewhere deep inside there was still that tiny hope that I’d find her – my sweet Miss E 😍 If you still feel that tiny but powerful hope deep inside that she is there and waiting for you to find her, then don’t give up. Keep fighting to find her.

Ok that’s really sappy I know but it’s what I feel. Dreams are powerful and we have to fight for them with all we have. And if you do get another DS, ultimately, I know you will be ok because I’ve interacted with you enough to know that you are an amazing mother and that you really, really LOVE your kids. You will love another little boy if that is what happens (and how could you not? You guys make the most gorgeous little boys!!! Seriously!).

Now more to the practical again… As far as 4 kids, I’m 2 months into that (we had only planned on a MAX of 3!) and yea it’s HARD. Our house constantly feels like it’s in chaos. No, I wouldn’t change it, but it’s definitely a lot of work and I do feel guilty a lot because I don’t feel like I can meet each of my kids’ needs right now. Each of my kids (even the two babies) have specific issues and things I need to focus time on addressing and I just feel already like I’m struggling with doing that. DS1’s academic struggles, DS2’s temper/behavior issues, getting the babies on a healthy schedule, some very minor health-related things with DS3, etc. etc. We're still trying to get into a groove. I’m exhausted to the point of sometimes being angry and short-tempered. And the craziest thing is I’ve also struggled a lot since the twins were born with knowing that we are “done” now. We only wanted 3 and I thought when #3 AND #4 popped out I would feel done and yet I’ve really struggled knowing the reproductive stage of my life is over. Like Pbn said it’s like the more kids I have the more I want!! 😂 But given that I had life threatening complications with my last two deliveries (two post-partum hemorrhages requiring blood transfusions), it’s just too risky to have more…. In addition to all the other reasons I know we need to stop! So as crazy as 4 is, overall I do love having a lot of kids and would have more if I could!

And here’s one other thing that I just want to put out there too… while I love DD with every ounce of my being, her being here hasn’t made life “perfect”. I still struggle with things, I still cry, I still have REALLY hard days. While that probably seems obvious, I say it because I think I really did convince myself before I had her that if I could just get her everything would be perfect. And I know Atomic has warned on here that that doesn’t happen, and like always, she is right. My life IS better with her, but it’s still hard and certainly not perfect. I guess I just say all that as a warning because I think a lot of us on GD get into that trap of “if I could just get my desired gender everything will fall into place”, but, I think for the vast majority if not all of us, that just isn't the case!

As far as your sway… I agree with what others have said. My first thought in reading your post is that I think possibly one of the factors that worked against you is that you swayed for so long before and I know that atomic has said things on here that perhaps long sways are maybe not as effective because your body gets too used to all the changes and as you said the effects just wear off. I have often wondered if that’s why I still ended up with a boy twin after hard swaying for more than a year and with 3 miscarriages. I’d suggest doing a short sway, even starting to TTC after maybe 8-10 weeks, so that your body really is “in shock” from a change in nutrient levels, etc. Definitely 1 attempt rather than E4D if you can (I think you guys have a history of getting pregnant pretty fast, if I recall?). With our twins not only did we do only 1 unprotected BD that entire cycle, DH released like 24 hours before our attempt and I did J&D after like 5 minutes. We did a ton to try to limit how much sperm was in me and we STILL got two babies and one of them was a boy - LOL!! Clomid for sure… but be forewarned the twin risk is real!!! 😂And you do have # of pregnancies and age to increase that risk!! Did you do the regular LE diet before? The PCOS version is great because I think cutting out sugar really does help improve your insulin response which is good for swaying pink. I lost weight SO easily doing the PCOS diet and I’m someone who has always struggled to lose weight! You'll be amazing if you do PCOS how easily the lbs melt off! I keep trying to convince myself now to go back on that diet just to lose all the baby weight I gained with the twins! Unfortunately my motivation is not as strong now as it was when I was trying to get my DD!!

OK... novel done :) Do what's in your heart, kitten - no regrets. We are as always going to be here to support you!! And the great thing is that while you're trying to figure all this out, you've got that sweet perfect little boy to snuggle with :) Baby snuggles are seriously one of the best things ever!

[kittendreams]

Kitten - Like Pbn I’ve been trying to think about how to respond to you as well and like Pbn, prepare for my novel… cuz as it turns out I do have lot of thoughts on this subject!

So, the "practical" side of me worries – what if she does have a 4th and it’s a boy… can she survive the GD again? Honestly – I was SO worried about you after you found out DS3 was a boy and disappeared from here for awhile. And believe me – I’m not judging you at all for staying away and I totally understand why you did!! You had to go through a process to work through the news - a quite beautiful process it sounded like, as you told us about the time you spent bonding and reconnecting with your boys. But I just want you to be OK and happy and hate to think about you having to go through GD again. But maybe that’s where going Team Green may be the best choice for you if you do have another, so that you can at least try to focus your energy on enjoying the pregnancy and if it is a boy, you wont know that until you’re holding him and already madly in love with his sweet little face!

Here’s where the “non-practical” side of my thinking comes from… Exactly 1 year ago at this time I was in the middle of a horribly depressing period of my life. I’d just had my 3rd miscarriage in less than a year – the “missed miscarriage”, the one that I had to have a D&C to remove. To this day I remain convinced that baby was a little girl. At that time I was sending PM’s on here to Pbn and Mommy2Apples (they were a HUGE support to me during that period and I remain forever grateful to them for it) about how depressed I was and how I couldn’t keep trying anymore. I’d pretty much lost hope that not only would I never have my DD, I would never even have another child period. I drank a lot of alcohol that month. I cried myself to sleep every night. I was very, very close to giving up TTC completely, and yet, I still didn’t know how on Earth I could give up on my dream of a daughter. To sum it up, March 2018 really, really sucked.

Exactly one year later and I’m here snuggling my beautiful daughter and my “bonus” DS3. Never in a thousand years would I have imagined last March that one year later I would have two perfect, healthy twins, and that one of them would be the little DD I was so obsessed with meeting. Nor did I know that I could love another DS as much as I love DS3. His big, beautiful almond eyes have me completely hooked!

So all that is to say… I don’t blame you, and I will encourage and cheer you on 100% if you decide to throw out what’s “practical” and hold steadfast to your dream of finding your DD. Because you have every right and every reason to believe that she is still out there and waiting, and that one day, soon hopefully, you’ll be holding her in your arms. In the midst of my darkest, most hopeless moments last March, somewhere deep inside there was still that tiny hope that I’d find her – my sweet Miss E �� If you still feel that tiny but powerful hope deep inside that she is there and waiting for you to find her, then don’t give up. Keep fighting to find her.

Ok that’s really sappy I know but it’s what I feel. Dreams are powerful and we have to fight for them with all we have. And if you do get another DS, ultimately, I know you will be ok because I’ve interacted with you enough to know that you are an amazing mother and that you really, really LOVE your kids. You will love another little boy if that is what happens (and how could you not? You guys make the most gorgeous little boys!!! Seriously!).

Now more to the practical again… As far as 4 kids, I’m 2 months into that (we had only planned on a MAX of 3!) and yea it’s HARD. Our house constantly feels like it’s in chaos. No, I wouldn’t change it, but it’s definitely a lot of work and I do feel guilty a lot because I don’t feel like I can meet each of my kids’ needs right now. Each of my kids (even the two babies) have specific issues and things I need to focus time on addressing and I just feel already like I’m struggling with doing that. DS1’s academic struggles, DS2’s temper/behavior issues, getting the babies on a healthy schedule, some very minor health-related things with DS3, etc. etc. We're still trying to get into a groove. I’m exhausted to the point of sometimes being angry and short-tempered. And the craziest thing is I’ve also struggled a lot since the twins were born with knowing that we are “done” now. We only wanted 3 and I thought when #3 AND #4 popped out I would feel done and yet I’ve really struggled knowing the reproductive stage of my life is over. Like Pbn said it’s like the more kids I have the more I want!! �� But given that I had life threatening complications with my last two deliveries (two post-partum hemorrhages requiring blood transfusions), it’s just too risky to have more…. In addition to all the other reasons I know we need to stop! So as crazy as 4 is, overall I do love having a lot of kids and would have more if I could!

And here’s one other thing that I just want to put out there too… while I love DD with every ounce of my being, her being here hasn’t made life “perfect”. I still struggle with things, I still cry, I still have REALLY hard days. While that probably seems obvious, I say it because I think I really did convince myself before I had her that if I could just get her everything would be perfect. And I know Atomic has warned on here that that doesn’t happen, and like always, she is right. My life IS better with her, but it’s still hard and certainly not perfect. I guess I just say all that as a warning because I think a lot of us on GD get into that trap of “if I could just get my desired gender everything will fall into place”, but, I think for the vast majority if not all of us, that just isn't the case!

As far as your sway… I agree with what others have said. My first thought in reading your post is that I think possibly one of the factors that worked against you is that you swayed for so long before and I know that atomic has said things on here that perhaps long sways are maybe not as effective because your body gets too used to all the changes and as you said the effects just wear off. I have often wondered if that’s why I still ended up with a boy twin after hard swaying for more than a year and with 3 miscarriages. I’d suggest doing a short sway, even starting to TTC after maybe 8-10 weeks, so that your body really is “in shock” from a change in nutrient levels, etc. Definitely 1 attempt rather than E4D if you can (I think you guys have a history of getting pregnant pretty fast, if I recall?). With our twins not only did we do only 1 unprotected BD that entire cycle, DH released like 24 hours before our attempt and I did J&D after like 5 minutes. We did a ton to try to limit how much sperm was in me and we STILL got two babies and one of them was a boy - LOL!! Clomid for sure… but be forewarned the twin risk is real!!! ��And you do have # of pregnancies and age to increase that risk!! Did you do the regular LE diet before? The PCOS version is great because I think cutting out sugar really does help improve your insulin response which is good for swaying pink. I lost weight SO easily doing the PCOS diet and I’m someone who has always struggled to lose weight! You'll be amazing if you do PCOS how easily the lbs melt off! I keep trying to convince myself now to go back on that diet just to lose all the baby weight I gained with the twins! Unfortunately my motivation is not as strong now as it was when I was trying to get my DD!!

OK... novel done :) Do what's in your heart, kitten - no regrets. We are as always going to be here to support you!! And the great thing is that while you're trying to figure all this out, you've got that sweet perfect little boy to snuggle with :) Baby snuggles are seriously one of the best things ever!


Wahhhhhhhh! Omg ABC literally tears in my eyes right now- I loved your "novel" every word so true and heartfelt you are such a beautiful soul.
And yes you do know me, you've seen me at my worst with gd so your insight into the situation is so appreciated I can assure you.

I also vividly remember your struggles and journey to your gorgeous twins- quite similar to Pbns story actually and I am so very happy that you have come out just one year later with those precious bundles!
You do give me hope and the way you have embraced ds3 gives me even more hope that I will bond with ds4 if that's what is meant to be for us.

Yes I absolutely did sway too long last time and I think I did that to try and take my mind off my gd with ds2.
So this time I am going to enjoy ds3 and wait patiently for my ppaf to return and then like you said hit it hard with diet, exercise one attempt etc. because Like you said getting pregnant is no trouble for us no matter what we do lol!

So glad I started this thread it has helped clarify so many things for me- I am so grateful for all of you taking the time to help me xx

[nearlyalegume]

Oh hun, I've been there.

There's that perfect little man staring up at you with his beautiful eyes, and you just explode with love for him. You'd die for him.

But there's that place inside you, that longing place, that itch that you can't seem to scratch, and the overwhelming love that you feel for your boys doesn't change that. You'd never for a moment want to be without your sons, but right now, you're without your daughter. Incomplete.

My advice? GO FOR IT. You don't regret the ones you have.

But I would advise that you go into #4 with the assumption that you will have another boy. There's a 50% chance that it'll happen, after all. Expect a boy. Plan for a boy. LOVE a boy, to the point where if you have a girl, there's a wistful moment in which you miss that fourth son you now won't have. Go into it looking at why another boy would be brilliant.

The fourth time, we didn't really bother to sway. All I did was time things so that we dtd three days before I ovulated. That's it.

We had a name chosen for him. His name would have been Evan Taliesin. I whispered it to myself from the moment we chose it until I walked into the ultrasound at 21 weeks to be told that our fourth child was actually a girl. The girl I'd longed for, and as I fought back tears of shock and joy that for once I was actually getting something that I really really wanted, I did have a moment - just a moment - as Evan vanished from my life, in which I missed him, this boy who had never actually existed.

Take the plunge. Take the chance. There's a 50% chance that you still won't get your girl if you have another, but a 100% chance that you won't if you don't. And if you do have another little boy, then perhaps it's because he will do something incredible, and you needed to bring him into the world.

[Pbn3]

Awwww Abc I LOVED your post [emoji173] you have a way with perfectly expressing those feels [emoji173]

Kitten we are going well! My boys are in love with their baby sister (they would have been as in love with a boy too I'm sure) they constantly say they love 'our' baby ([emoji23]) and 'our' baby is the cutest hey mummy. It's been my most favourite thing by far watching my older two bond so beautifully with the her and wow are they protective of her. I'll get annoyed with her over something and they're at me saying "she can't help it mummy, she's just a baby" (thanks boys [emoji849])

Like Abc so wisely pointed out, I do not for a second feel my life is perfect now because of dd, BUT I do feel a contentment that I'm unsure comes from having a dd or just the fact I was able tp have one more baby? Could be a combination of both [emoji2368] I will be here lurking for however long it takes for you to decide what you'll do and 100% support whatever decision you make [emoji8]

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

[4blue2pink]

4blue I just love your replies you are such a treasure and so wise!

Any tips for the pcos diet it looks so different to LE and I will definitely be doing it this time as well as exercise again for sure.

I love your story of going team green finally and yes it's so true it is only something you can experience during these short years and I am a person who wants to try everything once! It will take will power and getting dh on board but I really really think I will do it this time.

I hope pregnancy is treating you well!
Thanks again for your reply it means the world to me xx

I didnt realise you hadn't done the PCOS diet yet, this makes me excited :D its a totally different sway!! as ABC warns though it does cause weight to fly off if you arent careful, i felt like it had a really different effect on my body compared to the standard LE diet.
i just stuck to the basic rules of no processed sugar, wholegrains (wholegrain bread and wholewheat pasta) fruit and veg, its also got to be full-fat dairy (though i did almond milk this time), i had small bits of meat here and there but mainly left it out. daily totals are higher than they are for standard LE at around 1800cals 50-60g protein and 50-60g fat.
it does end up more expensive food-wise and i'll be honest my meals were very repetitive!! black coffee in the morning then veg soup and a pitta with humus and salad (and egg whites if i needed the protein, avocado if i needed the fat) for dinner and tea was usually either a jacket potato with some cheese and salad or pasta with veg and pesto, sweets-wise i had fruit and found that worked well.
surprisingly (sugar addict here) i didnt miss sugary foods and felt much better not eating them :) tmi sugar gives me a bad stomach but before this sway i stupidly ate it anyway!!
one thing i never expected from team green was how much more chilled i found the pregnancy, i knew i wasnt finding out so i just let it go and hardly thought about gender which was such a huge difference from all my other babies!! by the time i reached the end i was just excited to see who was joining us :) also i was surprised at how cute the unisex newborn baby-gro's are :heart:

[kittendreams]

Oh hun, I've been there.

There's that perfect little man staring up at you with his beautiful eyes, and you just explode with love for him. You'd die for him.

But there's that place inside you, that longing place, that itch that you can't seem to scratch, and the overwhelming love that you feel for your boys doesn't change that. You'd never for a moment want to be without your sons, but right now, you're without your daughter. Incomplete.

My advice? GO FOR IT. You don't regret the ones you have.

But I would advise that you go into #4 with the assumption that you will have another boy. There's a 50% chance that it'll happen, after all. Expect a boy. Plan for a boy. LOVE a boy, to the point where if you have a girl, there's a wistful moment in which you miss that fourth son you now won't have. Go into it looking at why another boy would be brilliant.

The fourth time, we didn't really bother to sway. All I did was time things so that we dtd three days before I ovulated. That's it.

We had a name chosen for him. His name would have been Evan Taliesin. I whispered it to myself from the moment we chose it until I walked into the ultrasound at 21 weeks to be told that our fourth child was actually a girl. The girl I'd longed for, and as I fought back tears of shock and joy that for once I was actually getting something that I really really wanted, I did have a moment - just a moment - as Evan vanished from my life, in which I missed him, this boy who had never actually existed.

Take the plunge. Take the chance. There's a 50% chance that you still won't get your girl if you have another, but a 100% chance that you won't if you don't. And if you do have another little boy, then perhaps it's because he will do something incredible, and you needed to bring him into the world.


"Expect a boy. Plan for a boy. LOVE a boy, to the point where if you have a girl, there's a wistful moment in which you miss that fourth son you now won't have. "

Love love love this nearlyalegume!!! Thank you truly!

Such great advice. I am so happy that you got your daughter and am in awe of your mindset going into that pregnancy!

Thanks again for replying your response was so eloquent and touching xx

[kittendreams]

Awwww Abc I LOVED your post [emoji173] you have a way with perfectly expressing those feels [emoji173]

Kitten we are going well! My boys are in love with their baby sister (they would have been as in love with a boy too I'm sure) they constantly say they love 'our' baby ([emoji23]) and 'our' baby is the cutest hey mummy. It's been my most favourite thing by far watching my older two bond so beautifully with the her and wow are they protective of her. I'll get annoyed with her over something and they're at me saying "she can't help it mummy, she's just a baby" (thanks boys [emoji849])

Like Abc so wisely pointed out, I do not for a second feel my life is perfect now because of dd, BUT I do feel a contentment that I'm unsure comes from having a dd or just the fact I was able tp have one more baby? Could be a combination of both [emoji2368] I will be here lurking for however long it takes for you to decide what you'll do and 100% support whatever decision you make [emoji8]

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

Thank you and please do keep popping in you are such a comfort!

My boys are so similar with their new baby- especially my 4 year old who is just enamoured with his new brother.

[ABC.2606]

Pbn - Seriously, dear lady, I couldn't have survived that journey I went through without all the love & support you gave me! I've been thinking about that recently as I've been reflecting on where I was at during this time last year. So thank you again - you are absolutely the best!!

Pbn and Kitten my boys are like that with the twins too!! They dote on them to the point where DH and I get annoyed... like, just give the babies some space already!! We knew DS1 would be like that but we've been surprised about DS2 - we thought he'd have a lot of jealousy/adjustment issues. But he's just crazy about them! Nothing like watching sweet little boys love on their younger siblings! And I think it says something about what good boy mamas we are to be raising such loving, sweet boys! :) :)

Aww and I LOVE nearlyalegume's advice too! I had really bad GD with DS2 (didn't sway really with him as I didn't know much about it then), BUT, one thing that helped is that I did have his name basically picked out before we conceived him (a big part of me I think always knew our second would be a boy as well). So I think I grew attached to him already knowing what his name would be for so long. At one point - shortly before we conceived - I pictured us having a boy-boy-girl family and it seemed perfect to me in my head. Obviously things turned out slightly differently (with my bonus DS3/twin boy!) but looking back I see how DS2 was so "meant" to be in our family and that vision of him with his name and all that I had before he was conceived I think helped me with the GD that came later.

Yea like 4b2p said it's the cutting out sugar that really makes the weight fly off!! And it did make me feel better/healthier overall - even eating way less - not having all the sugar and refined junk in my diet. Seriously I think not only is atomic's PCOS diet good for swaying pink, I think it's just a good way to eat in general! So much healthier! I didn't really eat meat during my sway (even though it is allowed on the PCOS version), but I did eat salmon sometimes. I also drank a lot of red wine for my alcohol as there is something in red wine that is supposed to help lower glucose levels.

[Pbn3]

Abc [emoji173][emoji173][emoji173][emoji173][emoji173] was my pleasure

Nearlyalegume your post is beautiful [emoji7]

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

[LMSM]

Love love love reading all your ladies » responses..sooo heartwarming :awe: I *may* have ( ok, I have), she’d a few (a lot) of tears :awe:
My little « opposite » is one today, and it was seeing how your « opposites » just melted your hearts and belonged like they were always there that got me through my GD back then. Now she is here, I get it... they were just meant to be.
That comment hurt as much as it helped back when I found out, but I do truly get it now.
And definitely will be planning for a 4th of a kind...and team green.
Kitten, can’t wait for our next respective sways :D you know you can have ALL my pink dust, we.re only like 50 km from each other so it shouldn’t get lost on the way this time haha
Xxxx

[kittendreams]

Love love love reading all your ladies » responses..sooo heartwarming :awe: I *may* have ( ok, I have), she’d a few (a lot) of tears :awe:
My little « opposite » is one today, and it was seeing how your « opposites » just melted your hearts and belonged like they were always there that got me through my GD back then. Now she is here, I get it... they were just meant to be.
That comment hurt as much as it helped back when I found out, but I do truly get it now.
And definitely will be planning for a 4th of a kind...and team green.
Kitten, can’t wait for our next respective sways :D you know you can have ALL my pink dust, we.re only like 50 km from each other so it shouldn’t get lost on the way this time haha
Xxxx


Oh I was hoping this thread would help you too LMSM I know you still struggle like I do with imagining 4 of a kind and actually 4 of any gender lol!

Omgosh! Happiest of birthdays to your little miss S!!! I bet she is being spoilt rotten right now. I love birthdays so much ( other people's not mine haha) and especially my children's it is such a rewarding time. Enjoy the day with your beautiful family xx


And yes we need to get that pink and blue baby dust on a direct route this time haha!

[kittendreams]

Gah!!! Just realised you said team green! How awesome if we were pregnant together and could help each other stay team green?

[Pbn3]

Yes yes yes LMSM and Kittendreams!!! I can say 100% that team green rocks [emoji869]

After the 12w scan (which I totally recommend not looking at any time other than face shots [emoji3059], it becomes quite a 'comfort' not knowing if it's pink or blue cooking..


Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

[LMSM]

I’m really hoping I can stick to it..hubs wouldn’t mind so it’ll be le battling my own anxieties haha
First, I need to’ know whether I can take the plunge...and that, is still my biggest issue.
So hope that if I can decide, and go ahead - we can stay strong together haha

[Dreamlovehope]

Hi Kitten,

I read your post and thought, you sound just like I did after I had DS3. I was 39 too and we only wanted 3. I just assumed at least one of them would be a girl, but when that didn't work out I was so upset. I had GD bad, and then I started to think about maybe a 4th. DH was not keen on the idea. I had never swayed, I only found this website just before I had DS3, but everything I read on here told me I was blue friendly.

I had the same thoughts as you, could I handle 4 children, would we have the time and money to give them what they needed. For me I felt like I needed one more try at having a DD, and I didn't want to look back and regret not having tried. If it didn't work out, then it really wasn't meant for me and maybe I could be at peace with that.

DH finally agreed, he wasn't convinced about swaying, but I thought it was worth trying something different since we had done the same things 3 times and had all boys. I did change my diet to be pink friendly, but didn't calorie count, exercise, or take any medications/supplements. We changed our bd pattern to one attempt then e4d. TBH I was quite negative during the 3 months we swayed, I thought there was no way this was going to work and that I would be perfectly happy with 4 boys, why would I be the one to have a girl after 3 boys, when so many people IRL have 4 boys. When i got my bfp, I was relieved, it was over, whatever was meant to happen will be, and I can move forward with my life. I felt like I was mentally exhausted thinking about this 'having a DD' thing so much and just wanted to move on. I was surprised when I found out it was a girl! Ironically when I was pregnant with all 3 boys I was excited and positive it was going to be a girl, so there may be something in that (as nearlyalegume said too).

I'm excited I get this chance to have a DD, although I don't think I will fully relax until she's born and safely in my arms. I know its going to be hard work with 4 young children (my eldest is 6) and there will be good and bad days as ABC has said, but that's just how it is, and I'll have to do it. Time was not on my side to have a bigger age gap. What keeps me going is that they will grow up and it will get easier (at least the physical side of it anyway).

So enjoy your precious little boy and good luck with your decision. I'm not sure I have any better advice to give you, that others haven't already posted. But my heart when out to you when I read your post and thought I would share my story. I wish you all the very best for pink if you do go ahead for a 4th and hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do.

[kittendreams]

Hi Kitten,

I read your post and thought, you sound just like I did after I had DS3. I was 39 too and we only wanted 3. I just assumed at least one of them would be a girl, but when that didn't work out I was so upset. I had GD bad, and then I started to think about maybe a 4th. DH was not keen on the idea. I had never swayed, I only found this website just before I had DS3, but everything I read on here told me I was blue friendly.

I had the same thoughts as you, could I handle 4 children, would we have the time and money to give them what they needed. For me I felt like I needed one more try at having a DD, and I didn't want to look back and regret not having tried. If it didn't work out, then it really wasn't meant for me and maybe I could be at peace with that.

DH finally agreed, he wasn't convinced about swaying, but I thought it was worth trying something different since we had done the same things 3 times and had all boys. I did change my diet to be pink friendly, but didn't calorie count, exercise, or take any medications/supplements. We changed our bd pattern to one attempt then e4d. TBH I was quite negative during the 3 months we swayed, I thought there was no way this was going to work and that I would be perfectly happy with 4 boys, why would I be the one to have a girl after 3 boys, when so many people IRL have 4 boys. When i got my bfp, I was relieved, it was over, whatever was meant to happen will be, and I can move forward with my life. I felt like I was mentally exhausted thinking about this 'having a DD' thing so much and just wanted to move on. I was surprised when I found out it was a girl! Ironically when I was pregnant with all 3 boys I was excited and positive it was going to be a girl, so there may be something in that (as nearlyalegume said too).

I'm excited I get this chance to have a DD, although I don't think I will fully relax until she's born and safely in my arms. I know its going to be hard work with 4 young children (my eldest is 6) and there will be good and bad days as ABC has said, but that's just how it is, and I'll have to do it. Time was not on my side to have a bigger age gap. What keeps me going is that they will grow up and it will get easier (at least the physical side of it anyway).

So enjoy your precious little boy and good luck with your decision. I'm not sure I have any better advice to give you, that others haven't already posted. But my heart when out to you when I read your post and thought I would share my story. I wish you all the very best for pink if you do go ahead for a 4th and hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do.


First of all CONGATULATIONS!!! I am so thrilled you are getting your girl what a beautiful family you have!

Secondly, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me I'm so grateful.
Your story gives me hope and courage to try again so I'm so glad you shared your story on here.
Do you mind sharing the changes you made to sway pink?
Also, how old is your youngest?

I hope pregnancy is treating you well and I can't wait to hear of the arrival of your pink bundle xx

[Dreamlovehope]

Thanks Kitten!

My youngest will be 2.5 yrs when DD arrives. I kept to 3 meals a day, because I was always a big snacker when I conceived my boys. I did skip breakfast at first but then found it harder to eat later in the morning so had breakfast after a 12hr fast overnight. I had toast and jam at breakfast with a coffee, a cheese sandwich at lunch, with fruit, a coffee and something sweet like biscuits or cake and at dinner I ate chicken, fish or eggs, with vegetables or salad and potato or rice, a glass (or 2) of wine and a little something sweet again. If I made pasta, I just had it with sauce and cheese, no meat. When the boys were in bed I had a peppermint tea. I did lose weight but not sure how much.

The other big change for me was our bd pattern, when we conceived the boys we bd more than once in the fertile window. So we tried one attempt for a couple of months but kept missing O. Then did e4d, the first 2 times were 96hrs apart and then the 2nd and 3rd times were about 80 hrs apart, but i think i may have o'd before then. I think that made a difference for me anyway, I know this may not have worked for others.

Good luck :)