40 years... hoping for PGD

[CodeViolet]

Hello, I have been lurking on this site and a member of in-gender for years! I have had many failed girl sways since 2004, but in 2016 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. My family was complete and I was so over the top to spoil a little girl finally! Sadly, she passed away five months later. Ten months after her passing I gave birth to my 5th son. I am now 40 years old and have been unsuccessfully trying for about a year to (hopefully) have another girl. My insurance covers IVF for infertility, but it doesn't cover every aspect equally (example: meds have their own deductible). Before losing my daughter I had 4 miscarriages. My last was a genetically normal female.

Does anyone with insurance get PGD coverage because of miscarriage history? I'm hoping that it will be covered and then (God willing) I will have a decent quality female embryo to implant.

Also, if you were able to get infertility coverage for IVF, were you upfront about your desired sex? I'm afraid given my age that only male embryos will make it to testing and then I'm not sure what I can do if I end up with only healthy male embryos. Would being upfront make the clinic/ insurance reject me? It has been a year and given my miscarriage history PGD just sounds smart.

Finally, has anyone over the age of 39 gotten their desired sex with PGD testing?

I go in for my first consult/ultrasound next Tuesday!

Thank you all!

[nuthinbutpink]

Yes, you can use insurance for IVF. If you doctor is wiling to submit your info to insurance, you can get the IVF covered but the PGD will be out of pocket. All of my meds were covered by insurance. Again, if the doctor calls in the script to your insurance, they do not question an infertility diagnosis nor ask for proof and YES I would be upfront about wanting a girl especially given your history. NOBODY will question why. I am so sorry for your loss.

[CodeViolet]

Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome - and I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with nuthin that here in the US no one will question your desire for a girl. People understand stuff like that and are very supportive at the clinics in our experience.

Everyone's insurance is different but yes in most cases the IVF would be covered after having had that many losses. The clinics are quite good at getting your money's worth from the insurers and limiting the amount you have to pay.

Yes, while IVF/PGD over 40 is an uphill battle it can be done and we are all hoping and praying it works for you. Please let us know how else we can help!

[CodeViolet]

Hi and welcome - and I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with nuthin that here in the US no one will question your desire for a girl. People understand stuff like that and are very supportive at the clinics in our experience.

Everyone's insurance is different but yes in most cases the IVF would be covered after having had that many losses. The clinics are quite good at getting your money's worth from the insurers and limiting the amount you have to pay.

Yes, while IVF/PGD over 40 is an uphill battle it can be done and we are all hoping and praying it works for you. Please let us know how else we can help!

Thank you! I will!

[CodeViolet]

I see this has a lot of views so I'll give a mini update. I had my consult and initial testing already. Low AMH (1.3) but overall healthy. I'm going to start in July and hopefully transfer in August (assuming I am able to get a female embryo that is genetically normal). I've always been in great health (hence the 5 boys!), but being healthy and the age of eggs are two different issues. A 40 year old cannot make her eggs be the quality of a 30 year old's even with supplements. I am so glad for this web page. Hopefully in a few months I can report back with a successful transfer. My doctor told me the clinic was a judge free zone so I hope this gives courage to other mothers/ fathers that are hoping to complete their families. I'm blessed with my boys, but I so glad to have the opportunity to have a rainbow (technically pot of gold) daughter!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you for updating! Good luck and pink dust!!!

[CodeViolet]

Doing another update. I've completed my first round. I had really promising stats going into it. My AFC (counts how many follicles show up on cd 3 via ultrasound) was 27. I do not have PCOS. My body appeared to take well to the stimulation medications and by the time of retrieval I had about 10+ mature follicles with some close to being mature. I had followed the suggestions for eqq quality in the book It Starts With the Egg. Unfortunately I ended up with only 3 eggs that were fertilized. On day 5 when the embryos would typically be biopsied they were too poor quality/ not ready. Day 6 update was that all three were too poor quality to even freeze. This isn't the update that I wanted to share, but I think it may be important for some to read that are on the fence. As you can see below, I have a lot of children. Miscarriage has been an issue, but obviously I can get pregnant. Zero embryos and my doctor say it's because of my age- 40. A lot can change in a short span of years. If you're 35+ and considering PGS but aren't quite ready, at least get your AMH and FSH checked to make sure you're in a good place. It won't guarantee you time, but it may give you an idea of if you have less time than expected. I'm going to try a new round this fall. I'll update again and hopefully will have better news this time!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for updating us. Many times people don't hear the stories where things do not go as people hoped.

I want to reiterate the message here - if you are 35, time is not on your side for IVF and best to go in sooner rather than later. It can still happen at 40+ but it's an uphill battle.

:pray: and sending positive thoughts your way.

[LMSM]

Sending you all my pink dust,good luck!

[CodeViolet]

Thank you. It is definitely more tricky. I will update in a couple months after my second round.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: I am hoping and praying for good news soon!

[CodeViolet]

Doing yet another update because I know that I've searched similar post and they just died off. I did my second retrieval and this time had more mature eggs, more embryos, and two made it to day 5. Those two were sent for testing and both came back abnormal. To stress my previous point again-- do not wait until you're older to do this if it's your dream. It will still be expensive but the outcome will be less likely. Going to do yet another round in a couple months because having a girl that I get to raise is important to me. I'm considering donor eggs at this point and that is very expensive. Best of luck to anyone on this journey!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for updating us!!! I'm sorry that this wasn't the round and hope and pray you have success next time. Good luck!!!

[CodeViolet]

So, yet another update. I've now done 3 rounds. In my second round I got 2 abnormal embryos. My third round resulted in zero blasts to test. This is not a journey to take lightly. I assumed by round 3 I'd have a few good embryos. IVF is not a guarantee to get a girl (or boy). It's not a guarantee to even get a baby. I had much better luck with getting pregnant not using it. And it's expensive! Definitely don't delay starting if you're getting close to 35+. I conceived my youngest son on one attempt. He was just 1.5 when I stated IVF. It's nuts! Doing one more round and then weighing my other options.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I really really appreciate it, because I urge everyone to do IVF FIRST rather than putting it off or trying swaying just to see what happens. Your odds really don't improve with time, and it means so much more coming from someone who has been there.

That having been said, I hope that the next update is your happy ending! :heart:

[CodeViolet]

Thank you!

[pinkfairydust]

Thank you so much for continuing to update this thread. You are right these type of threads usually just tail off and I’m always so keen to hear what has happened and praying for good news. Please do continue to update us and I will keep you in my thoughts xxx

[Wonder Woman]

Code, nuthinbutpink and atomic know infinitely more about all of this than me of course, at minimum because they have counseled so, so many of us, so listen to them before any of my little commentary here. But I will mention I was in the same boat - 3 failed cycles. 2 of which I didn’t have ANY embryos to test (and one cycle where I had only 2), despite egg retrieval counts in the high teens and low 20s. I got a second opinion, a major takeaway from this board, and ended up switching clinics. Under 2 cycles at the new clinic, I collected SEVEN pgs normal embies now waiting for me in the freezer. I just had the wrong clinic, wrong doctor, wrong protocol. Just make sure you don’t give up before consulting another doc and use this board as well! Ps I did my cycles at 42. But I am a specific case with PCOS. Still, I also wish I had started everything earlier.

[Pcoop]

I'm 42 as well, doing embryo transfer - my first!

[CodeViolet]

I wish I had fantastic news, but I'm not there yet. I recently switched clinics and am about to start round #5. I had a horrible experience with my last two cycles at my local clinic. After I decided to switch I requested all my medical records including my doctor's notes. Reading them was like reading fiction. This is upsetting, but it also gives me hope that with a new doctor and new clinic I might find success because obviously my old doctor lacked integrity. My new doctor seems extremely optimistic. That said, I also found out that if I only get male embryos than they need to be transferred or insurance will no longer cover services. It makes sense, but it's a lot pressure. So, very soon I will know if my IVF journey is going to be successful or over for good. Going through so much has given a lot of perspective. I miss my angel daughter so much. My life will never be the same, but at the same time I am very blessed with my boys. Seeing so many people struggle to just have one pulls on my heartstrings. I don't feel bad for my desires, but I do feel humbled. Wishing everyone that reads this now or years from now success. I will update once this final round is over.

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so glad you're in better hands now - I truly think medicine needs to clean house desperately because far too many of us are having awful experiences.

I am hoping and praying for a happy update soon. :heart:

[Pcoop]

Hello CodeViolet, I hope you get your dream baby in this final round.

[CodeViolet]

Sad update. So with Covid-19, my cycle got delayed. I went in about 2 weeks before turning 41. Got 10 eggs, 8 mature, 5 fertilized, and one made it to blast. It came back abnormal. My journey for a biological girl is now over. I have really good hormone levels, my husband has decent sperm, but IVF just won't work with my eggs. My current doctor says that if I tried on my own that I have a very high chance of miscarriage. IDK. My friend offered me her untested embryos. We're debating the pros and cons of this. I really wish I could test them, but they're day 7 and that likely wouldn't be too much for them. My doctor advised against accepting. He said to do donor egg with testing and to hope that we'd get a normal female embryo. Grateful for my friend, but really bummed about not having a mini-me. Child loss really sucks. I feel punished for wanting another girl so badly.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no I'm so sorry to read this. :heart: :heart: :heart: You are 1000% not being punished, anyone would want a girl (and we all want it for you.)

While I personally think doctors exaggerate the risks of miscarriage sometimes and we have had good results for 41 year olds with proven conception, after everything you have been through my inclination would be to play it as safe as possible and that would mean donor eggs.

I think your friend is being super kind to offer but I would have concerns about the strain it could put between you. It is possible to work this kind of situation out, but it can be a bit difficult to navigate sometimes.

If you do decide to proceed with trying naturally let me know and I would be happy to help you however I can.

[pinkfairydust]

Sad update. So with Covid-19, my cycle got delayed. I went in about 2 weeks before turning 41. Got 10 eggs, 8 mature, 5 fertilized, and one made it to blast. It came back abnormal. My journey for a biological girl is now over. I have really good hormone levels, my husband has decent sperm, but IVF just won't work with my eggs. My current doctor says that if I tried on my own that I have a very high chance of miscarriage. IDK. My friend offered me her untested embryos. We're debating the pros and cons of this. I really wish I could test them, but they're day 7 and that likely wouldn't be too much for them. My doctor advised against accepting. He said to do donor egg with testing and to hope that we'd get a normal female embryo. Grateful for my friend, but really bummed about not having a mini-me. Child loss really sucks. I feel punished for wanting another girl so badly.

Any update CodeViolet? I hope you are doing ok and was sorry to see your most recent update in June.