How did you go for it, deciding to sway?

[Katie.Z]

Hi ladies. I have been here (on and off) for about two and a half years, since my second daughter was born. I thought without a shadow of doubt I would sway for that baby boy I’ve always wanted when my youngest girl turns one, then she turned two and in January she will be three. I still haven’t swayed. Time is passing and right now the plan is to finally attempt my sway in Nov, it’s so close! Some days I feel the responsibility of two kids is a lot, and how will I ever survive with three? It’s so much! And other days I feel confident, like i got this, and I can’t imagine my world without that third baby. I don’t want to put off any longer, I want to dive into my dream or calm my mind from constantly thinking about it.

How did you jump for that 3rd or 4th baby? We’re you confident in your decision to sway, or full of doubt like me? What is it like adding a 3rd (4th...) child?

[Parying4agirl]

With my 3rd (a girl) after two boys i really knew i wanted to try for a girl so just went ahead with sway without even thinking if its going to be hard managing 3 kids all close in age. However ive always wanted 4 children 2 of each gender and now im at that stage of thinking to sway for another girl but again im puttin it off over and over again; whether the time is right, if i should not even have any more, should i wait for my children to be bigger before i go again...

I have to say having added a third, its absolutely lovely, the boys have taken to their lil sis amazingly, and she adores her brothers too!

[atomic sagebrush]

I have seen this primarily (but not exclusively) among blue swayers. There are several blue swayers on here - including several of our more active posters, historically, like MiaMelb and Meoab, who sat on the fence a very long time (or are still sitting on the fence) about whether or not to try.

I actually think that's all to the good for a boy anyway. A nice big gap is my preference (much better than the blue swayers who come in wanting to get pregnant when their baby is 3 months old!) and it gives you more time to enjoy your kiddos when they need you the most. I also think that feeling of wanting to get things right, wanting to do everything perfect (both swaying and mothering) is all good.

With my kids, I waited 3 1/2 years between my first and my second. I didn't have a gender preference and wasn't swaying, I just wanted to have everything perfect before adding another kiddo. Then I waited another 13 years before I had my 3rd!! Again, much the same reason...I just wanted to have our lives all just so before I had another baby. (that never happened, LOL) With my last two I had time pressure so I don't "count" them as much, I had to have them quicker together than what I considered ideal.

So, because the "too big a rush" has been hard, I often think back with some dismay/regret on that huge age gap and wish I'd gone for it even though things weren't perfect, because they ended up super UN perfect anyway, LOL. It may just be that you weren't ready, but don't let three years turn into 13! :) Good luck and blue dust.

[Katie.Z]

Ah thank you Atomic. This is precisely how I feel. I jump and maybe too soon, I don’t and will be full of regret I’ve never tried. I remember MiaMel B actually, would love to find out if she ever swayed.

Anyway thank you for your understanding and support ❤️

[Katie.Z]

A girl after two boys... how wonderful. Two brothers to forever protect her! Thank you for the encouragement, truly makes a difference ❤️

[trifecta]

I have two boys and would have liked to also have a girl. I was definitely a fence sitter and I can't tell you how to decide to take the chance but I can tell you why we ultimately decided NOT TO: sometimes I felt ok with a third boy but for the most part I truly wasn't ok with it. I just felt I couldn't handle that possibility and it really would have derailed me, probably for years.

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: a lot of the gals I was friendly with back in the IG days decided to move on without trying again. And I'm still up to my elbows in laundry and getting woken up in the middle of the night (even now!) while they're posting pictures of themselves on beaches with margaritas and stuff. There are advantages to moving on without trying again, and while we don't always talk about it much on this site, you guys should always keep in mind that not trying again is a viable option and it's possible to move past gender disappointment. :heart:

[Katie.Z]

I completely understand this feeling, and respect your decision. I may end up right there too. It’s a lot to think about.