DUE JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2020

[BunnyGirl19]

I didn’t see a due date thread for those months yet, so I started one. I’m due 9/22 and slightly swayed pink, primarily with diet. We are going team surprise this time.

[Sora]

I didn’t see a due date thread for those months yet, so I started one. I’m due 9/22 and slightly swayed pink, primarily with diet. We are going team surprise this time.

Hi that's a beautiful family you have there ! I'm due either end of July or start of August, swayed blue with diet.

Before anyone asks, NIPT is illegal in my country (ban was strenghtened at the end of 2018 when thousands of doctors petitioned the government to open NIPT to all women rather than the lone 35+ woman with a history of genetical diseases) and the government recently asked the ultrasound techs not to tell the parents anything about the gender, no matter how much they ask, til the second echo "to prevent possible parental meltdown".

So no, unless I move to another country, I won't be able to tell what I'm having right now. :rolleyes:

[BunnyGirl19]

Oh wow, that’s crazy! My doctor does NIPT on all patients, but we aren’t having them tell us gender when it comes back. I should be getting my first ultrasound in two weeks to check viability and I’m anxious about it. So far I’ve just had blood work done and my HCG level at 17DPO was 1585, so a very good number.

[Sora]

Oh wow, that’s crazy! My doctor does NIPT on all patients, but we aren’t having them tell us gender when it comes back. I should be getting my first ultrasound in two weeks to check viability and I’m anxious about it. So far I’ve just had blood work done and my HCG level at 17DPO was 1585, so a very good number.

Don't worry I'm sure it will go well.

[tillytys]

Hello everyone, just joining with a surprise non swayed bfp, possibly due around early August, just waiting for a scan to properly date things :) Hopefully we get a nice clear nub picture to guess from, hope everyone is doing well!!

[Sora]

Hello everyone, just joining with a surprise non swayed bfp, possibly due around early August, just waiting for a scan to properly date things :) Hopefully we get a nice clear nub picture to guess from, hope everyone is doing well!!

Wow tillytys, what a new ! Congrats !

[BunnyGirl19]

Congrats tillytys!

[laurelw]

Hello! I’m due August (about the 13th), am 12 weeks today so thought I’d join in.
We have a scan booked for next week. How is everyone?


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[onlythelonely]

Hi I am scheduled for a c-section August 3rd. Swayed pink and waiting on NIPT results which should be back next week. Having 12 weeks scan today

[tillytys]

How exciting OTL! Post your picture for us and hopefully there is some nub clues showing:luck:

[onlythelonely]

Couldn't get a nub shot, baby was moving to much, was doing flips and rolling around. Tech had a hard time juat getting measurements he needed.

[tillytys]

What a little wriggler :) Luckily you will be finding out next week! Hopefully it will be good news for you :)

[Sora]

Couldn't get a nub shot, baby was moving to much, was doing flips and rolling around. Tech had a hard time juat getting measurements he needed.

Ha we had the same thing happen to us ! And baby particularly liked to roll into a ball and turn his back to us. Tech was so desperate to get neck measurements they barely looked at the nub region.

[tillytys]

Im hoping I dont have a wriggler today:) We are in at 4pm uk time so 8hrs from now. Will be good to see if theres been progression. I have a Drs this morning for some inner ear issues that showed up in December, extreme vertigo and vomiting, I now believe its linked with the start of this pregnancy so hopefully that what it is and should remedy itself after things have completed in August :)

[Sora]

Im hoping I dont have a wriggler today:) We are in at 4pm uk time so 8hrs from now. Will be good to see if theres been progression. I have a Drs this morning for some inner ear issues that showed up in December, extreme vertigo and vomiting, I now believe its linked with the start of this pregnancy so hopefully that what it is and should remedy itself after things have completed in August :)

Good luck tillytys !

[tillytys]

Our scan went well on Friday, little one is measuring 13 +2 and I do believe we have another little blue one :) The family was hoping for pink but baby has the cutest face so one them over very quickly :)

[onlythelonely]

NIPT results are back. We have a healthy GIRL. So Happy and thankful for this great site and all the info.

[tillytys]

This is amazing news OTL!!!!! I bet you are dancing on air:ballerina::bigsmile:

[onlythelonely]

Yes. Absolutely over the moon

[Sora]

Yes. Absolutely over the moon

Congrats OTL

[laurelw]

We had our scan and baby measure 13+5. I had a hard time seeing a nub, but it’s probably not a big deal as we are wanting to have a surprise this time (we did sway pink).


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[laurelw]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200207/59e10f2b9fa8fcbf2150c4cdd1f92372.jpg


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[laurelw]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200207/8aca077cc02f2dd2b65dbdbc3dd19479.jpg


I don’t think I can see any good clues


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[Sora]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200207/59e10f2b9fa8fcbf2150c4cdd1f92372.jpg


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I'm absolutely new at reading scans but first one looks kinda pink ? Though I hope I'm not looking at it wrong ! Did you post in ultrasound predictions ?

[tillytys]

Yep, i agree, Im not seeing anything boyish there from these :) If you have any more pics or videos post away!!

[tillytys]

Hows everybody feeling :) I think I am coming out of the tired sicky bit and starting to feel a bit more energised:) the kids have just started half term break here so looking forward to a week of just chilling at home with them:agree:

Ona different note I have 8! hospital appointments already booked in for growth scans and glucose tests but I am very wary of attending at the minute due to the current coronavirus worries. The first isnt until 5 weeks time so I think I will watch for local updates, I dont fancy hanging around hospitals unless I need to.

[BunnyGirl19]

Welcome to all the new members! I’ve been kind if busy lately and feeling crappy and run down. I’m leaving for a business trip in a couple days and dreading it. I had an ultrasound on 2/3 with baby measuring correct for dates at 6w6d and heart rate of 148. NIPT is being drawn at the end of the month and NT scan 3/9. We’re still leaning toward team surprise, though.

[tillytys]

Not long til your scan bunny:) Will you be keeping your eye out to see if you can see any nub flashing off? I wonder if you will have a pair again!!!:bigsmile: Good luck :luck:

[tillytys]

How are you getting on Sora? When is your next scan booked for?

[BunnyGirl19]

I miscarried a few days ago at 12 weeks due to baby having developmental abnormalities. Now we have to start all over again and I’m so stressed because of our ages. DH isn’t willing to consider IVF to ensure a healthy baby either, despite this being our third loss in a year. I’m feeling pretty hopeless at this point, honestly.

[mommymachine]

I miscarried a few days ago at 12 weeks due to baby having developmental abnormalities. Now we have to start all over again and I’m so stressed because of our ages. DH isn’t willing to consider IVF to ensure a healthy baby either, despite this being our third loss in a year. I’m feeling pretty hopeless at this point, honestly.

I’m so sorry bunny girl. I’m sure you can have a healthy baby. Prayers for quick healing and a healthy rainbow baby.


3 blue 3 pink

Swaying blue in May!

[tillytys]

So sorry to hear this bunny:( Give yourself time to heal:( Im 43 and know that it gets harder as we age, but if it is in your heart then you know you would walk through fire for your little ones, this horribleness has just become part of our journey. I believe that it is in your future for another addition, so take time to grieve this little person and see what the future may hold. So sorry again for your loss xx

[Sora]

I miscarried a few days ago at 12 weeks due to baby having developmental abnormalities. Now we have to start all over again and I’m so stressed because of our ages. DH isn’t willing to consider IVF to ensure a healthy baby either, despite this being our third loss in a year. I’m feeling pretty hopeless at this point, honestly.

Sorry bunny. I'm sure too you can still have a healthy baby and your ages are not that advanced either ! I've known plenty of people having their first or at least second child around this time of their lives and it went very well despite fears of their bodies not being young enough for a pregnancy, especially a first one. Take time to heal and gather your strenght. Prayers for you !

[Sora]

How are you getting on Sora? When is your next scan booked for?

Sorry Tilly I just see your message now Oo ! That's weird, it seems I wasn't warned about most of your posts though I was warned of Bunny's Oo !

So yep sorry it seemed like I was silent or stuff ! So basically I'm okay, waiting for the next scan at the end of the month, worried since as you know, no NIPT and that one will not only tell the gender and if any anomalies are on their way...

Also my last urine check was not good (sugar in urines, maybe diabetes) though they are waiting cause my blood check didn't pick up on anything weird. So worried about that too.

[tillytys]

How has the corona stuff been getting on in France Sora? I have my next scan on the 24th and was wondering if I should not go? I think pregnant ladies are at no higher risk and are probably more likely to catch something in the shops than hospitals as the hospitals are cleaning and have the hand gels everywhere unlike the shops:)

Anybody else have any thoughts on the corona?

[Sora]

How has the corona stuff been getting on in France Sora? I have my next scan on the 24th and was wondering if I should not go? I think pregnant ladies are at no higher risk and are probably more likely to catch something in the shops than hospitals as the hospitals are cleaning and have the hand gels everywhere unlike the shops:)

Anybody else have any thoughts on the corona?

Well you should go to your scan since you will need it to make sure everything is okay.

Well the corona, we're still not closing any airlines or stuff cause Macron wants his tourists and money. And after that they complain the numbers are rising alarmingly fast.

About hospitals, I wouldn't say they are safe as far as we're concerned. There are next to no masks left (not the useful ones at least), they don't have the time nor means to test everyone so they will test only people presenting the worst symptoms. There are no hand gels anymore and hospitals have to make their own home-made ones to compensate.

That means that the general population is deprived of masks, hand gels and anything useful since people are getting paranoid and buying whatever is left. Let's not talk about those buying so they can sell them on the net overpriced.

About pregnant women, we're told it should be taken as seriously as catching the flu, especially with high fever. China has said most they noticed as of now about pregnant women is that much like SRAS-like viruses, corona puts a pregnant woman at higher risk of deadly complications and her baby at higher risk of premature birth, pulmonary defects, death in utero or at birth. No signs of the embryo being infected in utero but the baby can be infected during or right after birth as with pneumonia and have trouble breathing. If the mother is still contagious, then no close contact and breastfeeding only under close surveillance. If she's healed, she can care for her baby the usual way. No trace of the virus in the milk. That's all we know for now. They are talking about testing every pregnant women while at the same time saying they don't have the means nor time and don't want to cause panick.

Personnally less afraid of what can happen to me but worried about consequences for the baby. DD1 was already born a month sooner than she should have and still has trouble catching up in physical strenght. And though we don't know if it's related, she is falling behind in language development and has to see a specialist every week, something no one in our family, not even her sister, ever had to do at any point in our lives.

So yeah, I'm not an easy person to scare with pandemics and all but I don't want to go through another child with health problems, especially since here (idk about the other countries), the mother is still very much blamed for every little physical or mental trouble found in her kids. It's one of the reason I went through a third pregnancy to begin with : to finally know what it's like to really be a happy mother, without worries and complimented daily on her beautiful baby instead of being accused of being a failure somehow somewhere. To finally stop asking myself "Why did I ever dream of having children ? Why did I put myself through so much suffering ? Why did I believe all these people telling me it was such a beautiful adventure in the life of a woman ?". Cause they're obviously living something very different from what I've been experiencing with DD1 and DD2.

[tillytys]

France sounds like a very hard place to be a mum if its thats judgey! The mothers would run for the hills if me and my bunch of terrors moved there:)

I think I will be doing the 20 week scan:agree: I also have 3 more growth scans, a glucose test, 3 consultant appointments and now a dietician appointment! all for the general hospital. I think I may go to the first extra growth scan and consultant appointment and when I am there tell the consultant I do not want to do the rest of the appointments, I have growth scans because my 1st baby 21 years ago was 6lb 6oz and they are considering the chance of this one being small, this is despite my last 3 being around 9lb so doesnt make too much sense to me:) So hopefully the consultant will agree its best to free up the staff and appointments for people in a more serious situation.

HAve you had school closures in France yet? The rumor is here UK that it may be next Friday, its hard to know what to do, close the schools and the hospital staff cant go to work or leave them open and spread between the kids to take home, such a tough call.

[Sora]

France sounds like a very hard place to be a mum if its thats judgey! The mothers would run for the hills if me and my bunch of terrors moved there:)

I think I will be doing the 20 week scan:agree: I also have 3 more growth scans, a glucose test, 3 consultant appointments and now a dietician appointment! all for the general hospital. I think I may go to the first extra growth scan and consultant appointment and when I am there tell the consultant I do not want to do the rest of the appointments, I have growth scans because my 1st baby 21 years ago was 6lb 6oz and they are considering the chance of this one being small, this is despite my last 3 being around 9lb so doesnt make too much sense to me:) So hopefully the consultant will agree its best to free up the staff and appointments for people in a more serious situation.

HAve you had school closures in France yet? The rumor is here UK that it may be next Friday, its hard to know what to do, close the schools and the hospital staff cant go to work or leave them open and spread between the kids to take home, such a tough call.

Yes do your scans. A dietetician ? Do you have diabetes ?

Yes just last friday, we had the school closures and suddenly, yesterday night, they decided to also close the restaurants, coffee shops and everything that isn't selling food. We're wondering if they will start confining people in their houses. The hospital staff still goes to work unless they have really no other choice but to keep their children with them but usually there's a non-hospital staff parent that can be there... And some hospitals and workplaces have been making agreements to either find ways to have the children of their employees watched over or keep their staff home but still paying them.

Yeah France is not easy to mothers... or for some only ? The non-rich, non-perfect-Instagram-model-like moms ? Idk... At first glance it doesn't look like it, pregnant women have good medical care and all... I had expatriates tell me that in some countries, they were much less judged as parents than here. But it was hard to believe since around me I had only young mothers that had perfect pregnancies, perfect babies (eating well, sleeping well, healthy, very dynamic) and so got only compliments on how motherhood suited them, how they seemed born for it and how both them and their kids were great. I've worked with children before and people were saying I too would be okay with motherhood. Then came the difficult pregnancies, the difficult births, the symptoms, the weight gains but no loss afterwards while my babies were small-ish (there were people to say that I had stolen their nutrients haha), husband working in hospital so barely being home and no family to help, answer my questions... There were the difficult nights, the worries, trying to manage two girls at once while dealing with GD which I could not talk about... I tried to get help and was just told it was all my fault. That there were single moms doing better than me. That how could I be without family ? That if I was more pretty, more friendly, less tired and sad, I would get tons of friends ready to help and support me and if I didn't have that, it must mean that I was a bad person no one should care about (and I even heard something like that from supposed psychological help from young moms and children).
And should a bad person allowed to be a mother ? I was threatened with taking the girls away from me for the littlest things : a little late for vaccination because I had to move the date for professionnal reasons (father not being free with his job) or baby had a fever ? Bad mother, next time social services will be called. DD1 having a cold ? Bad mother, you must have dragged her outside naked, we weren't there but we know. DD2 crying all night because teeths and neighboors complaining ? Bad mother, the police came to check if she was really crying for her teeths or if she was crying because I was hurting her or shaking her in her craddle. Of course there was nothing to see... But imagine having that, you're trying to go about your day, raising kids all alone, no "buaah mamaaaaa please come and help meeee cause I'm 30 and I still need my mommaaaa to help me change my daughters diapers", no "sis, can you come and keep me companie ? I'm alone with the kids and feeling a bit of baby blues"... then the doorbell rings... is it someone coming to offer help ? Is it someone from the medical field to counsel you about all the little troubles with babies and the way to pull through ? No, it's the police "Good day Madam, your neighboors called social services cause your kid was crying the whole night and they say it must be because you have been shaking it and throwing it on the ground cause no baby cry that much instead of sleeping...".

So yeah, maybe in other countries you get to be a mom. I don't feel like one, I don't know what it's like to be one, I don't know what is that thing they call "a great life-changing experience for a woman". For me it's a new world full of hurt and tears and fear. A world I know well as someone who has been assaulted and bullied since childhood, a world I thought I had escaped from. I'm putting a bit of hope on this 3rd baby to show me, to help me, to be MY baby and to make me a true mother. Cause after all of this, I don't quite feel like the mother of DD1 and DD2. Just a caretaker choosen by nature that strangers can fire at the drop of a hat, like some incompetent teenage baby-sitter. And meanwhile I see horror stories in the medias about nannies or teachers or even doctors hurting the children under their care... But yeah, these are professionnals, right ? They know what they're doing, right ? Not like bad mom-me ! They can kill children and no one cares but beware if my daughters catch the slightest of colds, because it will all be on the head of bad-mom me !
Who could feel like a mother with this ?

Sorry for the outburst but I guess these things are festering even worse with the pregnancy. And I won't ask for help, I don't ever want to be told it's just my fault over and over again. I don't trust the medical staff anymore though I didn't have problems with most of them. I let them check the heartbeats, do bloodchecks, ultrasounds, because that's the only things these heartless beasts are good for in the end ! And I've been hiding the pregnancy from "civilians" for fear of the judgements IRL. Some people are suspecting and I can see them wondering why I'm not saying anything but I have nothing to say to them, they can go and find another woman to harass. I just talk on the net and I did find other people that went through the same as me but they too have no answers about how to avoid it, stop it, and why some mothers get to be treated as superior beings miraculously doing everything right while others are shamed for every little grain of sand along the way, from how the pregnancy goes to how the baby does.
And why some who drink, smoke, do drugs and worse are left alone. And then they make the headlines of the medias "Mom smothers her baby in a drunken fit/while being high". But here, there's surpisingly no one to call the police.

Well wrote a lot, hope I'm not frightening young moms here. Yet it's important to know these things do happen to normal people, normal families and that it can go very far.

[tillytys]

No diabetes but a bit overweight cheeky monkeys!:) What date is your scan Sora? I'm in on the 24th, I will go to that one:)

I hope this is your little boy Sora:) Hopefully it will start to shut up some of the horrible people around you:( And if its another little girl then when you see her little face on that scan you will be instantly in love and know she is meant to be with you:) Does your husband help at all? Would he like a boy this time or is he happy for a suprise:)

[Sora]

No diabetes but a bit overweight cheeky monkeys!:) What date is your scan Sora? I'm in on the 24th, I will go to that one:)

I hope this is your little boy Sora:) Hopefully it will start to shut up some of the horrible people around you:( And if its another little girl then when you see her little face on that scan you will be instantly in love and know she is meant to be with you:) Does your husband help at all? Would he like a boy this time or is he happy for a suprise:)

My scan is on the 27th.

Help idk. If you mean help around a little, yes.

As for GD or the problems I may face, since many of the "horrible people" were his family and/or friends, not much. He understands nothing of GD, which he calls a tanthrum, and he's been afraid for the longest of time of angering his acquaintances and didn't speak up much, which encouraged them. Only after the thing with the police did he decide to clear things and cut ties and even then, he needed a mutual friend to point out how he stood at risk to loose me for good if he didn't stand up for me. So well, too little too late imo. Not counting on any kind of moral support from him now. That kind of help should come instantly and from the bottom of the heart, not after everyone got a turn at hurting your loved ones and because a third party pointed out how abnormal that was. It stands for anyone really : if your spouse, parents, brothers and sisters, children need to be REMINDED by a stranger that they should protect you, then it means they never loved you as much as you loved them, period. Too often the victim of neglect is shamed into believing they don't deserve to be cared for, it has to stop. Caring and standing up for someone is EASY. No excuse in the world can make up for keeping silent and letting a relative's life be destroyed.

[laurelw]

Scan today at 19 weeks and got this gender pic ;) :)https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200319/c161abe3b652a0bff6388ca8245be8e8.jpg


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[Sora]

Scan today at 19 weeks and got this gender pic ;) :)https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200319/c161abe3b652a0bff6388ca8245be8e8.jpg


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No expert but isn't that a girl ? It looks like the potty shots of mine ?

[laurelw]

No expert but isn't that a girl ? It looks like the potty shots of mine ?

She did say girl :) I just wanted confirmation. Can’t believe it worked again!


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[Sora]

She did say girl :) I just wanted confirmation. Can’t believe it worked again!


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Congrats then !

[tillytys]

Sora!! Your scan is tomorrow! So excited for you, I hope little one doesn't hide in the pictures. Is DH aloud to go with you still or will he need to be at home with the children?

[Sora]

Sora!! Your scan is tomorrow! So excited for you, I hope little one doesn't hide in the pictures. Is DH aloud to go with you still or will he need to be at home with the children?

No even without the children he wouldn't be allowed. I will be alone to face that and not having the best week of my life rn tbh. It's the same for women giving birth around now. No one allowed in the birthing room except medical staff. They have to fight alone. It's a scary thought.

[4blue2pink]

No even without the children he wouldn't be allowed. I will be alone to face that and not having the best week of my life rn tbh. It's the same for women giving birth around now. No one allowed in the birthing room except medical staff. They have to fight alone. It's a scary thought.

Good Luck for your scan Sora i have been thinking of you and have everything crossed for you to hear boy!! Im sorry you have to go alone :( thats scary about women having to be alone for the birth, we are locked down here too with no hospital visitors allowed. The only exceptions are for children (1 parent allowed to be with them) and the maternity wards where there can be 1 birth partner with each woman both on the delivery ward and the postnatal ward after, i hope there is a policy change before your baby arrives to allow you to have someone with you :heart:

[Sora]

Good Luck for your scan Sora i have been thinking of you and have everything crossed for you to hear boy!! Im sorry you have to go alone :( thats scary about women having to be alone for the birth, we are locked down here too with no hospital visitors allowed. The only exceptions are for children (1 parent allowed to be with them) and the maternity wards where there can be 1 birth partner with each woman both on the delivery ward and the postnatal ward after, i hope there is a policy change before your baby arrives to allow you to have someone with you :heart:

Thank you. So scared.

I have one trimester til birth still. Maybe partners will be allowed back. Or maybe I will just stay in the house and not go. Bad memories of DD2's birth.

[4blue2pink]

since i replied to you ive seen updates that some area's here have now stopped allowing birth partners too so for now it depends on where you live but if things get worse i guess it'll be a full ban :( I dont blame you for wanting to stay home, apparently over here in the area's where they have suspended homebirth services women have started staying home and free-birthing.
Im sorry you had a bad experience with your DD2, do you feel there are any changes you could ask for which would give you a more positive birth? It is always your right to stay at home though if that is what you want to do :heart:

[Sora]

since i replied to you ive seen updates that some area's here have now stopped allowing birth partners too so for now it depends on where you live but if things get worse i guess it'll be a full ban :( I dont blame you for wanting to stay home, apparently over here in the area's where they have suspended homebirth services women have started staying home and free-birthing.
Im sorry you had a bad experience with your DD2, do you feel there are any changes you could ask for which would give you a more positive birth? It is always your right to stay at home though if that is what you want to do :heart:

We don't do stay at home here anyway. You know when someone gives birth at home, it's always accidental. And not well looked upon like "you could have put the baby in danger !".

Oh no not any change cause it was not related to choices I made or could make. Baby came too fast (only 3 hours after first contraction), it was a bad day with full moon and lots of women giving birth at the same time. And I didn't know it at the time but the hospital had just run into financial problems and was severly understaffed and equiped. I was left into the hands of young panicked interns who didn't know left from right, nobody really checked me, only the lady cleaning the room told them "she's at the end, she's going to give birth". They couldn't tell where the baby was, they told me to shut up because I was wailing in pain, saying I was a sissy and annoyingly loud and they couldn't work. They didn't believe me when I said I felt the head of the baby between my legs and tried to force me to stay sitting, threatening to not give me the anesthetic if I refused to obey... which I link to refusing analgesics to a patient in pain and idk about the other countries but it's supposed to be a serious professionnal mistake. I had to fight them off to lie down so that DD2 could end up on the table and not on the ground and thankfully I succeeded. They were shocked into silence. TBH some didn't even see the baby roll on the table and were ready to force me up again.

So yeah... Never ever again. But I don't get to choose the day of birth, the financial health and the staff of an hospital. I'm tempted to ask if they can take me in a few days before my due date just so I can have the anesthetic quickly enough. But I doubt they will be able to, they already lack rooms. And with Corona ? Not a chance to find a hospital in good financial health and not severly understaffed... So doubly doubting now. Home looks more and more safer. Only thing worrying is if there are complications, then I won't get help. Though complications can happen at the hospital too.

But yeah that bad experience has left me very fearful of pain. Before I was quite strong on that end, I could suck it up a long time. Now even the slightest scratch sends me back to that day and I just want to roll into a ball and scream. I panic, I can't breathe, I know it's ridiculous and just a little injury but my whole body freezes as if bracing for the pain of birth.

And no, can't get help about that. Will either be told it's my fault and to think about all the poor women who actually died of childbirth instead of being a sissy or be given some anxiety medication that won't make the memory go away. And seriously though, is it normal to take meds cause you can't control yourself anymore whenever you feel pain ?

So well, I think at least at home, I will be able to scream and lie down to my heart's content. ><

[4blue2pink]

We don't do stay at home here anyway. You know when someone gives birth at home, it's always accidental. And not well looked upon like "you could have put the baby in danger !".

Oh no not any change cause it was not related to choices I made or could make. Baby came too fast (only 3 hours after first contraction), it was a bad day with full moon and lots of women giving birth at the same time. And I didn't know it at the time but the hospital had just run into financial problems and was severly understaffed and equiped. I was left into the hands of young panicked interns who didn't know left from right, nobody really checked me, only the lady cleaning the room told them "she's at the end, she's going to give birth". They couldn't tell where the baby was, they told me to shut up because I was wailing in pain, saying I was a sissy and annoyingly loud and they couldn't work. They didn't believe me when I said I felt the head of the baby between my legs and tried to force me to stay sitting, threatening to not give me the anesthetic if I refused to obey... which I link to refusing analgesics to a patient in pain and idk about the other countries but it's supposed to be a serious professionnal mistake. I had to fight them off to lie down so that DD2 could end up on the table and not on the ground and thankfully I succeeded. They were shocked into silence. TBH some didn't even see the baby roll on the table and were ready to force me up again.

So yeah... Never ever again. But I don't get to choose the day of birth, the financial health and the staff of an hospital. I'm tempted to ask if they can take me in a few days before my due date just so I can have the anesthetic quickly enough. But I doubt they will be able to, they already lack rooms. And with Corona ? Not a chance to find a hospital in good financial health and not severly understaffed... So doubly doubting now. Home looks more and more safer. Only thing worrying is if there are complications, then I won't get help. Though complications can happen at the hospital too.

But yeah that bad experience has left me very fearful of pain. Before I was quite strong on that end, I could suck it up a long time. Now even the slightest scratch sends me back to that day and I just want to roll into a ball and scream. I panic, I can't breathe, I know it's ridiculous and just a little injury but my whole body freezes as if bracing for the pain of birth.

And no, can't get help about that. Will either be told it's my fault and to think about all the poor women who actually died of childbirth instead of being a sissy or be given some anxiety medication that won't make the memory go away. And seriously though, is it normal to take meds cause you can't control yourself anymore whenever you feel pain ?

So well, I think at least at home, I will be able to scream and lie down to my heart's content. ><

Im so sorry you were treated like that, though sadly i think they will be even more under-staffed and struggling now :( they are not allowed to refuse you pain relief here but if you dont have time to get the epidural they offer other things mainly entonox gas ("gas and air") or an injection of diamorphine or pethidine.
Ask if they will take you in early and do an induction, tell them you are worried about having a very fast birth and not getting to the hospital. surely if homebirth is so frowned upon it would be better for you to be at the hospital for induction than to give birth even faster this time and have baby in the car or something..
Over here women with fast uncomplicated births are often encouraged to have homebirths to avoid them not making it to the hospital.
If you stay at home will you go to the hospital after and tell them it was too fast? basically have a planned "accidental" homebirth? You are right there are risks wherever you are and i think you need to be where you will feel safest, only you know what is right for you :heart: and you never know maybe this baby will really come so fast that you have a homebirth anyway!!

[tillytys]

I dont want to start any more worry but agree that banning home births and birth partners is a dangerous move, I wonder will the governments start changing policies when the possible losses of mothers and babies start mounting up:(

I have birthed most of mine in hospital with just the staff and it has been bliss, what happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room:) With my 1st DH was drunk still! so I chucked him out, wit the 2nd he was absolutely petrified and I was offering him a chair and asking the nurses to get him a drink between contractions:bigsmile: he was there for the birth but I swear still has PTSD from it, the rest, just me and the pro's :) I do worry about this latest one as the last 2 deliveries were long and ugly, epidural both needed both times which may not be available this time with staffing? It will be ok for us all, I know it:hugs:

[tillytys]

SORA!!! Im so excited for you for today!!!!!!!!! Whether pink or blue, perfect and healthy and one less thing to be obsessing over :luck::luck::luck:

[Sora]

SORA!!! Im so excited for you for today!!!!!!!!! Whether pink or blue, perfect and healthy and one less thing to be obsessing over :luck::luck::luck:

I'm sorry. I failed. I thank you all for all the love, prayers and support I couldn't have found otherwise. I'm a mess right now. The tech was very understanding. Thank you. Atomic you may put me in the failed sway. I don't wish so much pain on anyone.

[tillytys]

Sora Im so sorry you didnt hear your DG :( Was it a clear picture? I bet she is absolutely gooorgeous!!!! I wish you were near by because I would be able to shout my excitement across the street to you:) You are a star and every negative person around you can go and do one!!! Sorry again but congratulations on your gorgeous baby:)

[4blue2pink]

I'm sorry. I failed. I thank you all for all the love, prayers and support I couldn't have found otherwise. I'm a mess right now. The tech was very understanding. Thank you. Atomic you may put me in the failed sway. I don't wish so much pain on anyone.

sending you so much love Sora :heart: it is the most agonising feeling and to of had to go through it alone is even worse, i am glad the tech was supportive, how has your husband reacted? Dont let go of your desire for this baby to help heal your past trauma's and give you a positive pregnany/birth/parenting experience. I know she isnt the boy you want and need but she still has the ability to give you a whole new experience. I know you wont be able to see past the pain of GD (no judgement, ive been there) but you CAN still have a good birth and a good experience of being a mum to this child :heart: dont let go of that xxx

[4blue2pink]

I dont want to start any more worry but agree that banning home births and birth partners is a dangerous move, I wonder will the governments start changing policies when the possible losses of mothers and babies start mounting up:(

I have birthed most of mine in hospital with just the staff and it has been bliss, what happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room:) With my 1st DH was drunk still! so I chucked him out, wit the 2nd he was absolutely petrified and I was offering him a chair and asking the nurses to get him a drink between contractions:bigsmile: he was there for the birth but I swear still has PTSD from it, the rest, just me and the pro's :) I do worry about this latest one as the last 2 deliveries were long and ugly, epidural both needed both times which may not be available this time with staffing? It will be ok for us all, I know it:hugs:

I agree Tilly, it is an insane move, i can see why they have done it but i dont think they thought about the consequences.. private companies are picking up the pieces for homebirths but they cant cover everyone and many women cant afford thousands of pounds for a private homebirth :( many hospital birth mums are now terrified to have to go in alone and wanting to stay home so the numbers of women wanting homebirth is rising too.
When are you due? I hope you can have your epidural, are they limiting them to emergency situations only now? If women cant get pain relief AND have to be alone i think even more will opt to stay home. xx

[Pinkin2019]

Hi ladies, hope I can join your group - due in July also. Feeling concerned about the Covid-19 virus and the effects for those who are pregnant and the birthing process. Crazy times! Never ever thought I’d have to contemplate a homebirth but now I’m not sure if hospital would be the best choice. And the thought of no epidural scares the bejezus out of me.
Anyway, would like to keep in touch with those in the same boat. Take care x

[Pinkin2019]

Sora - I’m so sorry for your heartbreak. GD is real and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody either. I hope time will heal for you x

[tillytys]

Hows everybody doing?? :) Feeling very slowly and clumsy here! Looking forward to a sweep at 39 weeks so hopefully will have little one in the last few days of July if Im lucky :bigsmile:

[tillytys]

Quick update, little boy joined the family on the 4th:) 7lb 11 absolutely goorgeous! Hopefully there are some more July Aug Sep babies born and on their way soon:)

Sora, is your little girl here? If she is how are you feeling now you have met her :) I bet she has stolen a special place in your heart already xx