Age 40 with 4 boys and hoping for a girl - can I sway and am I mad???

[Talia40]

Hi all,

I am new hear and wondered if swaying at my age 40 for a girl is possible?? I have had a miscarriage in the last year so recognise getting PG may not be easy but I would love a girl to add to our boy brood. What things could I do to still sway girl but stand a chance of conceiving in the first place??

Thanks for ANY advice whatsoever...

Tal x

[nuthinbutpink]

Hi there. You are not too old! Statistically, you are more likely to have a girl over 40 so you already have that on your side! Welcome!

[atomic sagebrush]

I conceived my daughter at 41 after getting 4 boys over 21 years!!

I would have you do my atomic fertility diet here in this thread (5 from the top) https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/9052-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-3-pcos.html Cardio exercise 60 min. 4-7 days per week, one attempt (to start out with) and Femara if you can get it.

All that other stuff you can read online - none of it works and all of it cuts odds of conception by a lot. So you need to let go of those things and focus on doing what really works so you can hopefully conceive quickly while doing the things that really do sway pink!

How old is your hubby? Is he willing to do anything to sway?

[Talia40]

Thank you so so much Atomic, and apologies for delay but we’ve had a lot of illness in our house the last few weeks with boys off school 😳😳😳

I’m in UK so can’t get hold of Fermera. Can I just check re one attempt as I did that with boy number 3 (one attempt at positive opk) and didn’t work for me but should I still do it this time???

I’ve taking a few fertility boosting supps and vitamins and was going to use Acigel as after 4 boys I’m just obviously v boy friendly!!! Is there anything else I could do to make sure it’s all pink friendly?

I could certainly ask my husband to do a few things - what would you suggest?

Thank you so much!! I’m praying so hard I can get my girl- my boys are my life and I love them so much but I’d love a daughter and at 40 I know the opportunity is narrowing.

Thank you!!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no worries, you guys never need to apologize for not getting back to me, it's my job to get back to you!

Yes, I still would start with one attempt at positive OPK. It did not sway blue for you. You got a boy despite one attempt, not because of it.

Please tell me the "fertility boosting" things you are taking as most of them are very blue friendly and others are actively harmful.

Acijel is at your discretion, but it did nothing in our results.

I would absoutely exercise if at all possible - it's our best non-diet tactic.

How old is your husband?

[Talia40]

Thanks so much Atomic!

My husband is 39 so a little younger than me. I am currently taking a co-enzyme supplement, then a N Acetylcysteine supplement and Myo-Inositol to help regulate my blood sugar as before that I was taking taking cinnamon but I read Myo-Inositol is better. I also take two fibre tablets a day and a daily vitamin. I have started all this since my miscarriage last year as the Dr thinks it was due to chromosomal issues because of my age.

I seem to be able o get pregnant quickly as each time its taken 1-4 months and last one was longest at 5 months but sadly I then had a miscarriage at 9 weeks.

I also drink spearmint tea as I heard that was good to balance hormones.

I will stay doing one attempt as well - do I add anything to lower PH or just leave it?

And on exercise I am so bad at that but my husband just brought a stationary bike and I think I could do 20-30mins a day when kids are in bed. Would that be ok??

I am so keen to try and make this sway work so happy to try anything. I am also trying to lose weight and at the moment its going slow but about 3 lbs a month,

Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok so I'd add soymilk for your husband 12-24 oz. daily, and olive leaf extract 500-1000 mg.

:agree: coq10 I have used that for lots of pink swayers.

I'd wean off the n-acetylcysteine as we don't know how it sways.

Drop spearmint tea IMMEDIATELY. We had terrible results with that for women over 35, with people going on years not conceivng till I had them drop it.

Re cinnamon and myo, what is your BMI?? Do you have PCOS? We are actually finding these two supplements cause a good deal of trouble for people who don't need them and I have a full explanation of that (plus some dosing guidelines) here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/80278-cinnamon-myoinositol.html

I would have you wean off the multivitamins.

These pills don't prevent chromosomal abnormalities. REgardless of what the doctor says, taking vitamins cannot undo the damage of age to the eggs. This doesn't mean you can't get successfully pregnant! As we age, we do have a higher % of more bad eggs but that doesn't mean we can't still get pregnant. I had 2 miscarriages between my 3rd and 5th babies but still had 2 healthy pregnancies out of that.

Doctors tell you to take these pills but they are mainly to feel like we are in control of an uncontrollable situation. My concern is more that people take things that actually may make them far less likely to conceive (like the spearmint tea, and the cinnamon and myo if you don't actually need them) out of fear of miscarriage (which can't be prevented anyway). So you end up in a situation where youre actually LESS likely to conceive out of a desire to do something to prevent losses that can't truly be prevented anyway, if that makes sense.

It sounds like you have some weight to spare, and in that case I'd absolutey have you do exercise even if you can't get up to the full 60 6-7 recommendation. But if you fill in for me about what your BMI is I can give you better advice on that. :)

pH has not worked for us at all and I would have anyone 40+ skip jellies becasue they do nothing and cut odds of conception dramatically.

[Talia40]

That all makes sense. I am overweight and need to lose around 3 stone, my BMI is 30.9! Should I keep taking the Myo?

My husband has also just been diagnosed Finasteride for hair loss and I wondered if I should delay him taking that?

The only other question was what herbal or other hot drinks should I drink? I have a milky skinny latte a day then normally spearmint or coffee but if I am dropping the spearmint could I have green tea or chamomile?? I like a hot drink...??

Thanks again!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes in that case you are good to continue with myo and cinnamon too if you'd like (please follow the doses in that link above, it can be bad to take too much cinnamon in particular

Finasteride may sway pink! In that case do not give him the soy though.

NO SKIM MILK. The skinny latte needs to go in favor of full fat dairy. I know it's counterintuitive but skim dairy is terrible for blood sugar and fertility (please check out that link I posted above with the alternate diet in it, in my first reply. No skim dairy on the alt diet.)

You can have any kind of herbal tea (including spearmint) 3x a week. So mix and match any kinds you like trying not to double up if they appear in blends. Dietary amounts can't have medicinal effects. Even green tea (which is said to sway blue) is ok 3x a week. So get several different kinds and have no more than 3 of any one kind per week.

[Talia40]

Thank you v much! Do you think it’s better for my husband to take the Finasterude plus olive leaf or the soy and olive leaf as I’d rather do the one with the most pink chances!

I’ll stick to all the recommended amounts on the myo and cinnamon as well.

As time isn’t on my side if I start the diet/exercise now and husband starts the supplements could we start TTCing in next month?

Thanks so so much Atomic.

[atomic sagebrush]

Finasteride is better.

Yes I prefer since you don't have time on your side you start trying after only 6 weeks on diet.

[Chloepink]

You can definitely sway and you're not mad! I just did at 41 and pregnant with a girl after 2 boys. I had a personalised sway plan with Atomic, and also implemented some of the lifestyle changes recommended in the book "It Starts with the Egg", I think it made a difference in my egg quality and I conceived 2nd cycle trying at age 41, I did an NIPT that tested all chromosomes and got low risk results for all, so seems it was a good egg!

It was a balancing act for me to try to improve egg quality while keeping in mind a lot of fertility boosting things sway boy. Good luck with your sway, you're in good hands with Atomic here!

[Talia40]

Thank you - that's so good to know! Can I ask what changes you implemented re fertility and what you think the biggest sway factors were?

It's so nice to have hope!!

[Chloepink]

Thank you - that's so good to know! Can I ask what changes you implemented re fertility and what you think the biggest sway factors were?

It's so nice to have hope!!

I followed some of the recommendations in the It Starts with The Egg book: Minimised exposure to plastics in food and drinks (eg. replaced plastic water bottles with stainless steel or glass, not microwave or store food in plastics), minimised exposure to fragrances and chemicals, no perfume, no nail polish, minimised visits to hair salon. I figured these things don't sway and they're supposed to help egg quality. As to the rest of the book about diet and supplements, it's a tricky balance between what the book says (maximising fertility) and swaying girl (wanting lower fertility). I largely followed Atomic on these and not the book.

I think diet, exercise, and 1 attempt sway the most. There's definitely hope!

[atomic sagebrush]

The one piece of advice I really really want you guys to NOT take from the It Starts With an Egg book is melatonin. I think melatonin should be reserved ONLY for women doing egg retrievals who will freeze their eggs for future transfer (at which point in time they should be totally off the melatonin) I don't want anyone who might be pregnant in the same month they've taken melatonin. It may cause developmental delays when taken more than occasionally during pregnancy, and we don't know how long the effects last. Plus, we know that the body needs naturally occurring melatonin in early pregnancy, so you can't start taking it before pregnancy and drop it or even wean off, because the body may interpret that as a decline in melatonin that means to end the pregnancy. There are other, safer ways to improve egg quality.

[Chloepink]

The one piece of advice I really really want you guys to NOT take from the It Starts With an Egg book is melatonin. I think melatonin should be reserved ONLY for women doing egg retrievals who will freeze their eggs for future transfer (at which point in time they should be totally off the melatonin) I don't want anyone who might be pregnant in the same month they've taken melatonin. It may cause developmental delays when taken more than occasionally during pregnancy, and we don't know how long the effects last. Plus, we know that the body needs naturally occurring melatonin in early pregnancy, so you can't start taking it before pregnancy and drop it or even wean off, because the body may interpret that as a decline in melatonin that means to end the pregnancy. There are other, safer ways to improve egg quality.

That book also specifies melatonin for IVF, it doesn’t recommend women TTC naturally to take it, although for a different reason:
“Unfortunately, it is probably not a good idea to take a melatonin supplement if you are trying to conceive naturally because it appears that melatonin may have a direct role in regulating the production of hormones that control the ovulation cycle. A melatonin supplement may therefore disrupt the natural hormone balance and interfere with ovulation.”

I didn’t take it for that reason, but I wasn’t aware of the link to developmental delays. Good to know!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh, good, I'm glad it says that. I have had several clients who wanted to take it after reading the book, apparently despite reading that. :)

[Talia40]

That's very helpful. I am trying to avoid plastic and chemicals though not easy at mo especially with all the Coronavirus wash you hands 100 times a day messaging!!!!

Atomic- I just wanted to ask you how many months I should stick with 1 attempt for? I am doing the diet (surprisingly easy) and moderate exercise every few days and plan to TTC this month 1 attempt. I try 41 in May so wondered how long you think I should stick to just 1 attempt! I am happy to be patient but I just worry about my old eggs!!! Thanks so much!

[atomic sagebrush]

I personally think avoiding plastic and chemicals is overrated. I think eating a better diet is much more effective (as we already discussed.) So please don't stress about that.

2 months max with one attempt.

[Talia40]

That's v reassuring re plastic etc!! After two tries of 1 attempt and if no BFP what would I move to re frequency? Thanks so much!

[Talia40]

Hi Atomic,

As the world goes crazy around me I’m trying to stick to my sway and have hope! I just have two questions if that’s ok.

I’m sticking to the diet but do miss sweet treats as trying v hard to habs little sugar. Are there any sweet treats you’d recommend?

Secondly, if one attempt doesn’t work then what pattern of frequency should I try?? I turn 41 in a few months time and just worried about my chances of conceiving with one attempt but don’t want to jeopardise my sway too much!

Thank you so much for your help and hope you and your family are all well. Xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh tell me about it!

My rule for cheating on the alternate diet is to simply try to minimize eating sugar, and then if you really want it, figure out the thing you really want and have it. Satisfying cravings in a reasonable fashion is the key to not binging. What happens is that people end up eating tons of things like fruit and bread (also quite carby) to try to stave off the craving, only to say "Oh screw it I've alredy overeaten anyway" and then having a huge binge. Just eat the thing you're wanting to start with and it satisfies your craving for far few carbs.

I want you to IMMEDIATELY (after a month on 1 attempt) go to e4d in the 72 hour pattern (so have unprotected sex starting after your period ends and going thru till when you're sure you've ovulated, Mon/Thurs/Sun/Wed, etc) and then after trying that 2 months go to e4d plus one more attempt at pos OPK (continue doing e4d but add in extra attempt at positive OPK, whenever it falls, whiel contininuing with the e4d pattern.)

My pleasure! You as well!

[Talia40]

Just an update. I got pregnant in April but sadly miscarried at 7.5 weeks last week. No idea what gender was. Did it with one attempt. Feeling low but understand with my age this is 50/50 I was told.

Atomic - I plan to wait one cycle before TTCing again but is there anything you think I should change or do new?? Please let me know. I’m
Praying for a sticky pink bean.

Hope you are well and staying safe.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry to hear that - rates of loss are higher as we age but that doesn't mean we cannot still go on to have a healthy normal pregnancy. :heart:

Just stick with the alternate diet (with the full fat dairy only, no sugar, whole grains), exercise if you can, and then do the e4d as I mentioned above.

[Talia40]

That all sounds good. Thank you. So straight to E4D and not back to one attempt? Thank you so much again! Keeping everything crossed....🙏🙏🙏

[atomic sagebrush]

Yep I'd go to e4d now. It's getting very good results and I don't want to spend any more time on one attempt.

[Talia40]

Thanks so much Atomic. Here’s hoping...

[Talia40]

Hi atomic, just wanted to update you, I got the lab results back because it was a recurrent miscarriage and it was a girl but had trisomy 22 which is why I miscarried. In a weird way I am pleased it was a girl as now I know I can get PG with a girl but also I am so sad I had a female embryo but it wasn't to be. I guess it showed the things I did to sway really helped. I am just waiting for my first AF to show up to try again. Thanks again for all the advice. Best, Tali x

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry for your loss - please let me know how I can help!!!

[Talia40]

Thanks. I presume I should just stick to the diet and exercise and e4d method from when I next get AF. I am hoping the fact I was able to conceive a girl is in some way good news and I just need a month with a healthy egg!!! Time not on my side but I want to try. Thanks again.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes that is what I would recommend. Please let me know how I can help!